Single white female seeking nothing 

Sometimes you might think that this will be good for you until you do meet someone with relationship potential.  From my own personal experience, the problem with that is that, well, you kind of stop looking.  I mean your body has formed an attachment to this guy, your heart is involved, and you’re having sex on a regular basis. Why on earth would you keep looking? 

You should. This is bound to end badly, but often women delude themselves sticking their heads in the sand pretending it’s all okay.

It’s not all okay

Inevitably, it’s got to end either because you can’t deal with the unreciprocated feelings or because he’s getting nervous about them.  Either way, you’ve probably not only ended your friends with benefits relationship, but your friendship as well.  And, the cold hard truth of the matter is, it’s just not worth it.

The biggest blow will likely be to your self esteem.  It will start as a fleeting thought such as "I guess I’m not good enough to have a relationship with. I must only be good enough for sex."  Soon, that little thought will blossom into a full fledged attack on your self worth.  Next thing you know, you believe you’re not good enough.

Just say no

Do you really want to be that girl?  No sex in the world, no matter how good it is, is worth the risk.  The negative feelings of self worth, the possible loss of a friendship and the possibility of missing out on someone who is right for you are a big price to pay for a roll in the hay.

So, the next time a friend approaches you with just such a proposition, take a minute to really weigh the pros and cons.  If your friend cares about you at all, he’ll respect all of the reasons why friends should remain just friends.

To learn more about Lisa Quirke, visit http://40ssingleness.blogspot.com/.

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