It finally happened. You met someone you really like. There seems to be a connection, you have a great timetogether, and you think that maybe it’s time to take the relationship to the next level.

And then it happens. She tells you she’s been married four times. Yes, four.

So, what do you do?

Run for hills? Head to the little boy’s room never to return? Make your excuses and then “lose” her phone number?

Or do you grow up and little bit and give her the benefit of the doubt?

The cold, hard truth

The truth is she’s not a serial rapist or a serial killer or even necessarily a serial bride. She’s a woman who made some choices that didn’t quite pan out. Granted they may have been bad ones. I’ll give you that and thenask you this. So what?

There are actually a couple of things to think about here. First of all, haven’t you been in relationships that didn’t work out?How many? Uh huh, that’s what I thought. The only difference is she married them; you didn’t. Maybe she’ll judge you and consider you someone who has commitment issues based on that. Hmmm.

Relationships, and marriages, fail for many reasons. There may have been an abuse issue, an alcohol or drug issue, a control issue, or maybe even a death. Sadly, in today’s world these things happen way too often.

And remember, it takes more courage and heart to leave an abusive or alcoholic relationship than to stay in one.

Secondly, are you the same person you were 20 years ago? 10? Even 5? Do you make decisions the same way now as you did in the past? Have your values and maturity levels changed?

As we grow and mature, we gain experiences, both good and bad, that shape us into the people we are today. We make mistakes, we learn from them, and we move on tomake more decisions.

Think of it this way. When you’re dating in your 30s and 40s, you’ve been through some crap. Unless you’ve been locked in a closet for 30 or 40 years, you’ve done some things and made some choices that were less than stellar.

Do you want to be judged on the basis of just those choices?…

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