Good catch, we don’t really address the “how to get confident” angle here.

We’re going to do a series on overcoming the confidence crisis since it’s an issue that affects so many people.

I read your piece and have to say I don’t agree with your reader who sent in his note. I’m not a big believer in the “absolute right” or “absolute wrong”, so if that perspective serves him (which he obviously believes it does) than that’s cool. But I think he’s setting himself up to always be dependent on others for his confidence.

Basing your confidence and self worth on what someone (ANYONE) else thinks of you is not a good idea.

It’s very dangerous to have your self worth (your own self confidence) based on some level of accomplishments set by others. That way your confidence is always dependent on what others think of you and will fluctuate with that.

True confidence comes from within. It comes when you realize that it doesn’t matter worth a damn what ANYONE IN THIS WORLD thinks about you. Not your mother, not your friends, not your brother, etc. It doesn’t matter. You are OK as you are and are worthy as you are. Simple.

Once you reach that point, you will be much happier with all aspects of your life.

Have an awesome day!
Dan

Interesting point, but you don’t really offer an alternative. Although there seems to be a lot of trickery on the internet, maybe you should write a follow-up on what you think would be the best way to start improving your social skills and confidence?

I think most the guys that turn to these methods are looking for a strategy to get started. Unfortunately, “Be Yourself” isn’t a strategy but a platitude.

You just caught me after finishing my post on the myth of confidence, so I’m curious to see what your advice is.

-Scott Young