If you’ve been dating online for any length of time, you will have come across a few people that are too eager, or too persistent, or even over familiar. It’s not about restraining your eagerness, or not pursuing someone, or avoiding building a rapport.

It is about striving for a balance because the reality is that, if you don’t keep certain things in check, somebody, somewhere, may be describing you as a pest, desperado, or even stalker. Here are three actions that are likely to rub someone up the wrong way or have you marked in the pest category.

1. Sending a flurry of winks and emails based on seeing a profile (no response yet)

I’m delighted for you – you’ve found a profile that excites you and you want to stake your claim before someone else does, so you send a flurry of emails and winks to bring yourself to their attention.

The trouble is that regardless of whatever wonderful qualities you claim to have and the wondrous message that may be contained within those emails, they may never get opened because you seem a little desperate, over eager, and are actually behaving a little disproportionately to what has actually happened.

You have seen a profile! Send an email with a great catchy title or something and do the job of fifteen emails with one!

2. Sending terse emails after not getting a response to an initial email

I know it’s annoying not to get a response but I want to bring you back to reality with a bump. You saw a profile, you liked it, you got in touch. Don’t assume that by sending an email that you are entitled to a response. If you’ve been building sandcastles in the sky and fantasizing about a fairy tale ending with the recipient, you’ve set yourself up for a fall because so far, this whole thing is in your head!

Sometimes people are busy but intend to respond. Sometimes people are so overwhelmed with responses that they don’t even get a chance to reply. In an ideal world, people would respond to every message but it’s a bit like sending rejection emails for job applications, and to be honest, isn’t a rejection email a bit unnecessary?

Slow your roll. If you get a response, great. If you don’t, move on! Unless you’re on a teeny tiny dating site, there are other people! Don’t bank on one horse until you know there is a horse!

3. Making a flurry of communication after exchanging emails

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