3. Making a flurry of communication after exchanging emails

Great, you’ve actually made contact with someone, exchanged email addresses and mobile numbers. The worst thing you could do right now is to send text after text, or emails trying to downplay your eagerness and desperation but actually seeming even MORE desperate! You know the emails I’m talking about:

“I know I’ve sent you several emails already but I’m not being a pest and I don’t want you thinking I’m desperate. It’s just that I sent you a couple of emails but I haven’t heard from you. There’s no pressure for you to respond….”

For a start, just because YOU decide you’re not a pest doesn’t mean you aren’t. Just because YOU decide your actions aren’t desperate does not mean that they aren’t!

Sending several emails and texts, or even leaving voice mail messages when you’ve had no response yet from someone you hardly know is borderline, if not full on pest behavior. What if they are out? What if they are nursing their sick grandmother on their death bed? What if, they see all of these emails, texts, and voice mails and feel a bit scared that they have unleashed a bit of a psycho?

Always remember the 3 P’s of avoiding being an online dating pest:

Patience, Proportion, and Persistence Control.

It doesn’t kill you to wait for a response to your initial contact – whatever you do, don’t send more than one email until you have a had a response.

Don’t get this online dating lark twisted. There are potentially thousands, if not millions of people on these websites and whilst I appreciate that you want to get a date, you need to keep things in perspective and proportion.

Don’t inflate the fact that you got in touch with someone into more than what it is because nobody ‘owes’ you a reply and if you get carried away every time you make contact with someone, you won’t get very far!

And whilst I admire some people’s very thick skin that’s comparable to hide of a rhino, there is persistence in terms of staying the course with online dating even with some negative experiences, and then there is persistence in the form of not knowing when to back off, or refusing to take silence for answer.

To learn more about Natalie Lue, visit BaggageReclaim.co.uk.  

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