Why Confidence Is So Important

Confidence is one of the most important aspects of dating. Building confidence is not difficult when you know how to use your best assets. Having self-assurance can easily boost your perception in the eyes of others and can have an impact on your work life as well as your dating life.

Creating a persona of poise can turn nerve-racking first dates and approaches into attainable scenarios by giving you the tools needed to be sure that positive outcomes are possible. Here are a few easy techniques for building your confidence.

Change Up Your Wardrobe

When you look good you feel good. Changing your wardrobe is one of the best ways to boost your self-confidence. When you change your wardrobe people will take notice. Your clothes are one of the first things that people notice about you. If you are going on a date in ratty jeans and a shirt that was too tight in the 8th grade, it’s time for an update.

A suggestion that a lot of guys do not take seriously is the consultation of a stylist. Stylists know what women like and they know the trends of the fashion industry. They will also be able to tell you where to shop without breaking the bank.

Let Go Of Past Relationships

Being hurt or humiliated by an ex-girlfriend can shatter any man’s self-image. Let go of past relationships. It doesn’t matter if an ex cheated on you or said hurtful things, you have qualities that a great girl is going to admire. Let go of the past and look forward to the future.

It’s only natural to feel like you’re never going to meet another girl or that you might be alone for the rest of your life. This unreasonable hopelessness is known as “catastrophic thinking” and can render you with the inability to approach women. Let go of your past relationships and think of them as a learning experience. It’s time to move on. Thinking about the future can give you a fresh perspective on your love life.

Get Healthy & In Shape To Feel GOOD About Yourself!

If you already work out then you’re a step ahead of the rest. However, if you are not working out you need to start now. Working out is a great stress reliever and can build your confidence immeasurably. Join a gym or just start running in the afternoons.

When you start to feel like you’re never going to meet anybody or that you’re not good enough for women, working out can make these thoughts fly out of your head instantaneously. Joining a gym is also one of the best ways to start meeting a new clientele of women.

Create A List Of Qualities You Want In A Woman

Creating a list of qualities that you want in a woman will help you weed out bad dates. Just taking any old date is not recommended. Knowing that you have no interest in a girl and that you’re just taking her out to try to make yourself feel better is selfish. When you are picky about whom you go out with you will feel a lot better about yourself.

Desperation is something that a lot of guys feel after recent break ups or being alone for a long time. Clinging to a girl that you know you have no future with is a recipe for disaster. Make a list of all the qualities you want in a woman and then stick to that list. When you find a girl that has most or all of the qualities, you will feel a lot better about your choice.

Laugh!!

Laugh about past missteps with former girlfriends or dates. Laughing can easily lighten the situation and take all of the darkness out of your thinking. Don’t take your dating too seriously. If a girl turns you down, laugh about it. Any girl that turns you down just isn’t right for you. Don’t fall into the cliché of saying “her loss.”

While you might say this to build your confidence, it almost always comes back to haunt your mind. You will start thinking, “Is it really her loss? Or is it mine?” Just laugh the situation off and move on. There are a lot of women out there that you can make happy. Every misstep is a step closer to finding somebody that you can connect with on a deeper level.

Confidence is a vital part of dating. When you do not feel comfortable enough with yourself it will show through your mannerisms. Stick to these suggestions and you will start seeing results in as little as a couple of days.

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If you have recently become a young professional male, you probably need some dating tips to help you transition from college dating. College dating is all about doing things on the cheap. When you’re a young professional male dating is no longer a couple of MGD’s in a field.

You are expected to class things up a little bit. Getting a crash course in dating tips for a young professional male will keep you from looking ridiculous when you ask out a girl that has a decent job. This can also help you look professional when out and about. Here are some dating tips for young professional males.

1. Pay Attention To Your Wardrobe

One of the best dating tips you can get is to make an immediate change to your wardrobe. Your wardrobe is going to be a dead giveaway of either having a good job or being a bum. You don’t have to put on your Sunday’s best when you’re doing yard work, but having nicer clothing will separate you from the rest of the guys vying for her attention. Don’t think that you have to wear Brooks Brothers to look good. Shopping at a retail outlet can easily save you some money on your wardrobe. The hierarchy should be nice shirts, decent pants and really nice shoes.

2. Keep In Mind Your Profession Doesn’t Define You

Congratulations! You made it through college and now you have a job. Yes, your job is important to you, but that doesn’t mean that you have to talk about it all the time. A job is something that can say a lot about you, but it doesn’t define you. When you are first starting out in the job market you probably will not be a VP of marketing.

If you do get an amazing job right out of college then you’re above the rest. But just because you have a good job doesn’t mean that the girl is going to be impressed. Successful guys approach beautiful women all the time. You need to separate yourself from the self-involved guys that always approach women by appealing to them on a real level. Don’t make your job the topic of every conversation.

3. Be Current

As a young professional male, one of the best dating tips to consider is brushing up on your current events. Current events are one of the best ways to easily have conversations with women. When you are in the know about current events, TV shows, movies and other aspects of popular culture and news you show that you’re interested in the world. Women don’t want a guy that is living in his own world. Make it a point to stay current with the various aspects of the news to alleviate any awkward silences during a date.

4. Leave The Frat House Behind

As mentioned before, you’re not in college anymore. You’re a young professional male and it’s time that you act like one. As far as dating tips go, being what you are instead of playing the part is one of the best tips to give. No more blackout drinking, staying out until all hours of the night or living in a pig pen. Ditch all of your old habits and start being a young professional man. This means going to bed at a reasonable hour, abstaining from alcohol regularly and keeping a professional attitude in all aspects of your life.

5. Be Active

It’s all too easy to work a 40-hour week and then just come home to lie around on the couch. Women don’t want a guy that doesn’t have hobbies. Find a couple of activities that you like doing and keep up with them.

Get into a routine of daily trips to the gym or weekly movies with your friends. When you have a hobby it’s much easier to get a potential date involved. This is one of the best dating tips for young guys because it leads to common interests and teaching the girl a new skill. This will also keep you from being clingy and needy.

6. Don’t Be The Bank

You have a great job, but that doesn’t mean that you’re her personal ATM. Paying on the first date is pretty customary. If she insists on paying for herself then let her, but if she lets you pay for her then go ahead and pay for the meal. You’ve got a new job and it’s probably the first time in your life that you have disposable income. Treat her to dinner or drinks and don’t make a big deal out of it. However, the last thing that you want to do is be her bank.

This is one of the many dating tips that are universal to all aspects of the dating world, but especially true for young professionals. Your money is your money. How you choose to spend it is your choice. If you want to make a good impression buy her dinner, but don’t make it an expectation on her part.

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Dream girl. Those are the words on every guys lips (or other parts). There are as many different definitions of what a dream girl is as there are stars in the sky. We all want one, even though we all define it differently. You’ll need a few dating tips to make the search easier, more fun and more importantly to prevent burnout and frustration.

Becoming A Guy Who Gets The Girl

What’s the ultimate dating tip weapon for guys out there? It’s simple, not easy. If you want to get the dream girl, you have to become a dream guy. You need to be the guy girls want to be with. Think about it. If you want a girl who is a “ten” that’s fine. But why should she choose you? She can have anyone or anything she wants. Men and women are literally throwing themselves at this woman on a daily basis (sometimes more than once a day). If you want a woman who can stop traffic with her looks, you’d better be the guy who can stop traffic.

Be confident and funny. You may have heard this before, but we will say it again: life is short (if you do it right), so have fun. Enjoy your own life or she won’t. Yes, it’s true: sports cars don’t hurt, but you don’t need them. A girl who’s with you because of your money or car is someone you don’t want. That means you want a girl who will love you for you, because if a golddigger finds someone with more money or a better car, she’ll be off like a prom dress. So make your dream girl an offer she can’t refuse. Make your world amazing and fun and exciting. She won’t want to be with anyone else, even if they do have more money or a better car.

Have A Fun, Radiant Personality

How do you create that? Well, it’s funny you should ask. You should have a have radiant personality. So many get caught up or hung up on what to say or do. They can’t think of anything so they freeze or miss opportunities. Here’s the thing: it doesn’t matter. Nobody cares what you say or do. People remember how you make them feel. It may be hard to believe, but it’s really true. It doesn’t matter what you say or do.

Make sure to have fun. Everywhere. Women are different creatures than men. Girls are addicted to guys who make them feel good. So above all, make sure to have fun at all times, whenever possible. Because when you do, you’ll find yourself meeting women everywhere, and it will be effortless. Why? Because beautiful women are everywhere and all the world is your oyster. You don’t have to go to bars or any other specific place to meet women, though we’re not saying you can’t go there. When you’re having fun everywhere, you’ll be attracting women anywhere.

Have A Sense Of Humor

Don’t take anything too seriously. You know what? Meeting your dream girl isn’t driving the space shuttle. And if you are piloting the shuttle? That’s odd. Shouldn’t you be paying attention to what you’re doing? How are you accessing the internet in the space shuttle? Those computers are like thirty years old! Why are you even piloting it? It’s been decommissioned!

Anyway, the point is this isn’t that dating is big a deal. Yes, dating tips are important to finding and keeping your dream girl, but lighten up. It’s not that serious. Make a game of it or if you don’t it’s going to feel like work. Then you’ll be forcing it and it will get even worse. Get rid of anyone or anything that doesn’t serve you. Take the pressure off yourself. Eliminate excuses and take action.

That alone will set you apart. Think about it. How many people who are overweight and say they’re going to lose weight actually do it? There you go. IF you can lose the weight metaphorically speaking, you will set yourself apart. Just do something. Get in the game grasshopper!

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Everyone wants one (or two, or three if you’re a rock star) of their own, but how do you get them? If a lack of hot college girls is your problem, take a look at some of the best dating tips around for meeting ladies at school Sit down, strap in and make sure you’ve got condoms, because we will have you knee deep in college hotties in no time!

Building Your Social Circle

So how do you get the hot girl of your dreams? Build your social circle first. Be the guy everyone wants to be with. You know that expression, “the life of the party?” That’s you, or it should be. We’re not saying be a clown or act like a train seal, but be confident and be the person people always want to be around. When everyone wants to be around you, inevitably, you will find yourself surrounded by hot girls.

Be less of an outsider. Once you’ve got that social circle going and they are at least associated with you in some way, you’re no longer some random creepy guy hitting on them. You’re now a friend of a friend, and someone who has a certain reputation and trust level. Once you have the trust level, you’re in.

Go to events, get in with fun positive people and let their good vibes rub off on you. Events are crucial. If you want to fish, you need to go to where the fish are. Going to a lake where tons of fishermen are trying to fish a pond, it’s great odds, no matter how many fish are in the lake. Generally, there won’t be that many fish in the lake, because so many people are fishing in it.

If you go to a lake that is teaming with fish and you’re the only fisherman (or one of the only fishermen) there, how good do you think your odds of catching a fish is? A lot better than it was. This is actually one of the most essential dating tips you’ll ever learn. Find out what kind of fish you’re looking for and find out what pond they are in and then go there. Yoga class, theatre, choir, you name it.

And when people have great vibes, people are drawn to them. You need those people in your life and they need to be your friends. They can only make your life better. In every way.

Don’t Hit On Everyone

Keep it casual, don’t hit on every hot girl. This isn’t brain surgery. You’re not trying to balance the budget or eradicate the national debt. You’re trying to hook up with hot girls. Don’t be too serious and relax. And be selective. If you hit on anything that moves, guess how that makes you look? Wanna guess? It’s not good, that’s a hint. Actually, it’s the answer, but whatever.

Use facebook, that’s why it’s there. Facebook was literally invented to hook up with hot college chicks. Social media is your friend. Use it. Hitting a girl up on Facebook can sometimes be less threatening that going up and asking for her number. Almost everyone accepts friend requests, so once she does, you’re in.

Go to class. If there is a hot girl in your class, sit next to her. Ask her for a pen, ask if she has a study guide for the exam. Better yet, ask her to study with you. Do something to start the conversation. Anything. Well, maybe not anything. No cheesy pickup lines. Allowed. Ever. No exceptions. Seriously. We mean it.

Ask her out to a lunch date on or off campus, that can be a fun, low pressure way to get the ball rolling. You should also go to fun crazy parties. Girls there have had a few drinks, they’re more relaxed, and more approachable

Bring Something To The Table

It’s also really important to have something to offer. Hot girls can have anyone they want. So why would they want you? To get the girl, you have to know who you are and what you bring to the table. You have something going for you that no one else on the planet does. Figure out what that is and develop it.

Join clubs, have hobbies. Hot girls like to see a man with balance. Why? Because if he’s got a lot going on and he’s got his act together, he’s much less likely to be needy and all over her (and not in a fun way)

Basically, it’s all about disarming the girl. Hot girls are always on def-con five. They have security walls up to protect themselves from losers, rapists, creeps and Tommy Lee. If you want to get in her pants or heart or mind, you’ll need to get her to lower the shields first.

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Getting Over The Nervousness

Nervousness over the introduction is one of the biggest deterrents when it comes to dating. Many men feel that walking up to a girl and talking to her can be a detrimental action. “What if she doesn’t talk back to me?” “What if she thinks I’m an idiot?” These are things that run through our heads when we even think about walking up to a pretty girl in a grocery store, bar or night club. Getting over approach anxiety can be a serious confidence booster for a man. Achieving confidence of the introduction can even extend into the business world as well as making new friends. But how do you get over it? To say the least, this is easier said than done.

Have A Routine

Routines are one of the best ways to get over dating approach anxiety. Routines take the pressure out of introducing yourself to a woman. The best way to construct your routines is to make a few different ones for typical dating scenarios. For instance, come up with a routine for the grocery store, the bar, nightclubs, parties or other social occasions. Practice your routines in a mirror and think about the different answers that the girl would give to each routine. Make sure that you have a few things to say back for each answer that they could give. Being prepared for your introduction is a basic essential for getting over your fear.

Start Small

Starting small will build you up so you can eventually sustain an introduction. This can be implemented pretty easily. The next time that you go to the bank or to a restaurant, talk to the teller or the hostess. You don’t have to get into their life story, just ask them a few questions that you might not have otherwise. For instance, when you go into the bank, ask the teller how their day has been. Ask them if they have been busy. They will of course answer you back because they want to seem friendly, but it’s good nonetheless. When you walk into a restaurant, ask the hostess when the busiest time is for the restaurant or something similar. This small talk is a stepping-stone to an introduction and then, possibly dating.

The Venue

A great way to do you first approach is to go somewhere that you never go. For instance, instead of going up to girls at your favorite bar, go to a bar that is on the other side of town. Many men think that if they fail on the introduction, they will not be able to go back to the venue at which it occurred due to embarrassment. This will not occur if you go somewhere that you might not ever go back to. Going up to women at a place that you frequent is not recommended, as you might be uncomfortable seeing them again, especially if you’re dating someone else at the time.

The Actual Introduction

The first meeting can be nerve racking if you aren’t prepared. Remember your routines and how you made the small talk before. You want to use the same tonality during your introduction as you did at the bank or restaurant. Be friendly, but not overbearing. Always go up to the girl with a smile. Do not offer your hand, as this is not a sign of romanticism, but of a friend. Deliver the first line of your routine with confidence. It helps to envision yourself as a character in a movie. This puts you into a mind frame of control when playing the dating game. Movies are always controlled storytelling and there will be a part of you that fully believes the girl cannot resist.

The Conversation

Listen to what they say during the conversation. Don’t be scared if the girl does not respond to your routine the way that you may have thought. This is fine. Just be yourself and if you start to get nervous, excuse yourself from the conversation. One of the best non-threatening ways to get out of a conversation that is going south is to say something like “Well, I’ll let you get back to your shopping.” This shows that you are willing to let her go and shows confidence.

Getting Her Number

If the conversation is going well feel free to ask for her phone number. This might happen or it might not. If you are really nervous, act like there is somewhere that you have to be. This kind of gives her an ultimatum. Simply say “I didn’t realize it’s so late, but can I get your number? I’d love to talk with you again.” If she refuses, it’s not the end of the world. You’re somewhere that you will never go again and nobody has seen you. If she does give you her number, you’re off to a great start.

Dating nervousness can be a killer of men. When we are afraid of going up to women, we miss out on potential opportunities to date somebody really special. Following these guidelines can give you a low pressure way of introducing yourself to women with little hassle.

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The Best Ways To Meet Women

Meeting women doesn’t have to be as difficult or as intimidating as it sounds, although all the dating tips in the world aren’t going to make you feel like finding a girl is any less daunting. But it doesn’t have to be! There are actually lots of ways to get introduced to girls, and many of them may be through things you’re already doing! For example, some of the best places to meet girls are through activities and things you’re already involved in. If you have an interest or a hobby, try to find a group or club that you can get into where you can get to know people who share your same interests and passions.

Another great way to find girls is during the day – most girls are on guard at night, when they’re out clubbing or in bars. They’re expecting to get hit on, probably by a bunch of weirdos, so they’re automatically on guard against anything like that. During the day in relaxed situations like riding the bus or train or going to the supermarket is actually a great way to run into a girl while hear guard is down and start up a flirty conversation. You can make a much better first impression this way! Going to tourist spots or travelling, or enrolling in dance classes (those are loaded with girls) are also excellent ways to expose yourself to more people in general – and more girls.

Take Advantage Of The Weekend

Find things that are happening on the weekend, like festivals or get togethers. Bars, clubs, and even beaches can be great places to go on the weekend because they’re literally packed with people! Don’t just sit around at home on your couch on a Saturday – actually get out there and go somewhere that there are lots of people. You’re bound to meet someone there! Even the mall can be a great place to go – anywhere there are ladies around, that’s where you want to be! It may be nerve wracking at first, especially if you’re not a very social person, but as you continue to put yourself out there, it’s going to become easier and easier and you’re going to become more confident when doing it.

Don’t Be Afraid Of Speed Dating Or A Singles Event

If you live in a larger metropolitan area, chances are, there are lots of speed dating or singles events out there that you can attend. Most guys are a little shy when it comes to doing this type of thing, but there’s really no reason for it. Consider it no harm, no foul. If you meet someone that you really hit it off with, great! If not, you’re not going home any different than when you arrived. It’s also a great way to practice talking to women (which will come into play when you meet a girl you actually have a connection with), so you’re not really leaving empty handed at all. The more exposure you have to being around girls and talking to them, the more comfortable you’re going to be when you actually want to ask a girl out.

Enlist Your Friends

A lot of relationships start by two people meeting through friends. This is actually one of the best dating tips out there, but it’s often overlooked because a lot of guys think that it’s so simple, it can’t possibly work. Well, it can! If you get introduced to a woman through a friend (and you’re a good friend to this person), you’re actually going to come very highly recommended. So while you still want to make sure you’re making an excellent first impression, she’s already going to be thinking good things about you before she meets you. It also helps to be friends with guys who are actually great with the ladies! While it may turn you off a little to consider making friends with someone who is so smooth he gets all the girls, but think of it as a learning opportunity. Watch what he does and how girls respond to it. That is actually a great way to change up your game and start doing things that work!

Also, make friends with girls, even if they’re not necessarily the type you want to date. This is one of the dating tips that is often put on the back burner also, because many guys feel as though if they’re not going to be meeting the girl they could potentially date and have a romantic connection with, why bother? But remember, girls have female friends. And sometimes they’re hot!

Have Confidence And Get Comfortable In Social Situations

One of the best dating tips – if not THE best – is to improve your confidence by getting yourself out there and into social situations. It may feel awkward at first, but it is most definitely going to pay off when you finally meet the girl you want to ask out. If you’re just not ready to get out there yet, consider getting a dating coach. It could be your best friend, or another guy who happens to be really great with the ladies. You can even consider hiring a professional dating coach if you want the best advice. A dating coach can see what you’re doing and come up with a customized plan to help you get more girls in the shortest amount of time possible. Some professional dating coaches can be expensive, but it is well worth it to help you hone your skills so that eventually, YOU can be the suave guy that picks up all the ladies!

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During The Day On Public Transportation

One of the best places to meet women is during the day on public transportation, such as the bus, the train or the subway. This works better if you’re in a large metropolitan area where public transportation is a part of daily life. Most guys who take the bus or subway to work and back sit reading a newspaper, or listening to music, without ever paying attention to what or who is around them. This is a big mistake! Next time you’re using public transportation, take your earbuds out and pay attention! Look for hot girls or ladies that you’d like to meet and get to know. You’ll be surprised – there are many of them!

Also, a woman is less on guard during the day (because she’s not in “dating” mode), so you’re likely to make a much stronger impression on her if you approach her when she’s not expecting it. When you approach a girl in a bar or a club setting at night, she is already on guard and is going to be a lot more selective of who she talks to and hangs out with. She’s more likely to turn you down or ignore you when she’s on guard in a situation like that. During the day, on the bus or train, it’s quieter than in a bar and you’ll be able to actually have a decent conversation and get to know a girl. It’s also more relaxed and friendly, so it requires less effort on your part to be smooth.

Getting Introduced Through Friends

Getting introduced to a girl through friends is a great way to meet someone you can actually have a relationship with. However, you have to be careful with this and make sure your circle of friends are people you actually connect with and who understand you and who you are as a person. This ensures that their friends are actually going to be someone you connect with too. If you currently have a small circle of friends, begin by working to expand that circle and become friends with more people before you start getting introductions to girls. If not, you’re going to build a reputation for being the guy that bounces around and dates everyone’s friends – and before long, no one will want to introduce you to their friends.

At A House Party

A house party is an excellent place to meet girls – the “house party” was pretty much designed specifically for that purpose. If you plan it right, the environment is intimate enough to make a girl feel comfortable but also exciting enough that there’s an edge there that allows you to create sexual tension (which is a must have when you’re flirting and getting to know a girl!) Have one of your friends plan a house party, or host one at your own house! Dating is all about getting out there, making more friends, meeting more people and being more social in general. Dating is a social activity – so if you’re not social, you’re certainly not going to be dating anyone anytime soon. Doing that is going to not only get you more girls, it’s going to get you the kind of girls you want to be with.

Hosting your own house party has it’s benefits, if you have a large enough house. If not, consider renting a party hall or another similar type of location that you can have the party in. Regardless of where you do it, if you’re the host, everyone wants to meet you! So really, if you’re the host of a party (especially if it’s a great party!), girls are going to be coming up to you and wanting to meet you!

Remember that dating is all about being confident and having fun. You’re not just making friends to get more girls, because the process of making and having friends is actually a great thing too, girls or no girls!

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Confident Women Like Confident Men

Know who you want to be and be that guy. Don’t try to be someone you’re not, and don’t get down on yourself for being who you are. Take pride and have confidence in yourself, because women who are really good looking are confident too. If you believe in the product you’re selling (which is yourself), women are going to want to buy it. You’ve got to believe you have the ability to approach and date ANY woman you want, or it’s just not going to happen. If you truly believe that you have a lot to offer any girl, your confidence will allow you to do just that – and then you’ll have the pick of women in the bar or wherever else you go to meet women!

Any Guy Can Learn To Be Amazing With The Ladies

A common misconception about dating is that if a guy is shy, or is a “nerd” that he can’t be good with women. Quite the opposite is true – ANY guy can learn to be amazing with the ladies. It doesn’t matter whether or not you’re the most attractive guy in the room, because honestly, even some of the best pick up artists aren’t underwear model material (far from it). If you think you’ll never be great with ladies because you’re “average” looking or for any other reason, you’re really only limiting yourself. Shed the negative thinking and have the confidence to know that you CAN learn to be great with women.

Be the cool guy that other people want to hang around. Work on improving yourself and have goals and a game plan. Don’t get caught up in faking it, using the right “pick up lines” or any of those “dating tips” that rarely ever work. It’s all about believing you have something great to offer (because you really do) and knowing that you can have any woman you want!

Stay Away From Anything Weird

Again, you want to stay away from any dating props or cheesy pick up lines. If it’s not authentic, women are going to smell it from a mile away. There are no magic “lines” that will instantly make women attracted to you, nor are is there anything else that will help you ask a girl out. You’ve just got to build that inner confidence and start putting yourself out there!

What you do want to do is be personable – be friendly, funny and be yourself! Don’t try to be a guy that you think women like, because that pretty much never works. Also, don’t be afraid to consider getting a dating coach. People pay personal trainers all the time to help them to work out and lose weight, a dating coach goes along the same lines – you’re having someone help train you to get the women you desire! If you don’t want a professional, enlist one of your friends (that also happens to be good with women) to help you through the process.

Focus On Being A “10″ Yourself

While looks certainly aren’t everything, if you consider yourself to be a “3,” you’re never going to get the hottest woman. So implement a game plan that allows you to work towards becoming the kind of guy that other women see as a “10.”

Have Fun Dating

It’s not always about “getting the number” or meeting the woman you’re going to have a long term relationship with or even marry. Have fun dating and meeting new people – it doesn’t always have to go somewhere. Also, don’t focus so much on meeting women, but also meeting new people in general – make new friends and find people who have similar goals. If you currently have friends that aren’t supporting you or are bringing you down, it may be time to get them out of your life and make friends that help lift you up and help you meet your goals.

Finally, you want to make the decision to become good at dating. Make the command decision to learn what you need to do to become more confident with the ladies and just do it. Put yourself out there and if you have the confidence, chicks who are a “10″ will flock to you!

Related Posts

1. Q&A: Why Do Jerks Get All The Girls?
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5. How To Pick Up Girls – For Smart Guys

Question: How do I flirt with a tomboy (who likes me too)? How do I know she’s flirting with me? What do I need to know about tomboys?

–YouTube Viewer

The “Tomboy” Stigma

Just because a girl is more into doing “guy” stuff like playing sports, likes hanging out with guys more than girls and doesn’t do the whole “shopping and frilly dress” thing, it doesn’t mean that she’s any less girl when it comes to the way a guy can make her feel. She is still going to get butterflies in her stomach when you smile at her and she’s still going to be receptive to flirting. However, you do have to make sure your flirting style works with her personality. Cheesy pick up lines and standard seduction techniques may not work for these types of women.

Going Out And Having Fun

If you try to schmooze a tomboy, or try to be a really “suave” guy around her, she may hit you! The most important thing when learning how to flirt with a girl like this is to plan to do things with her that are a lot of fun. Take advantage of the fact that she’s not a girly girl, and plan dates that are super fun and keep you guys laughing and having a great time. Some great date ideas are:

• Going to a ball game
• Hiking
• Hanging out and playing video games (if she’s a tomboy-gamer sort of girl)
• See a movie (make sure it’s NOT a chick flick)
• Instead of a fancy restaurant, have hot dogs in the park (and who cares if you get messy?)

How To Compliment Her

Complimenting a tomboy is where you can really get into trouble if you don’t choose the right things to say. You don’t want to compliment a girl like this on her looks – she works very hard to make sure that she doesn’t dress girly, because she doesn’t want to be noticed for the way she looks. Don’t compliment her makeup (if she wears any) or her outfit – instead, find things about her personality to compliment.

Tell her you love her smile and the way she makes you laugh, or compliment her hobbies. Tell her she’s really good at her favorite sport, even better than you! Compliment her accomplishments and the things she’s done that she’s proud of.

Be Yourself

With dating, it’s always important to be yourself and never try to be the person you think the girl you’re interested in would like. This comes off as fake and almost always backfires – regardless of the type of girl. Of course, a tomboy is going to see right through your charade a lot faster than any other type of girl and you’re probably not going to guess right on the type of guy she would be interested in – so she probably won’t like you at all if you try to be someone other than who you really are.

How Do You Know If A Tomboy Likes You?

Surprisingly enough, this is one of the areas where a tomboy is going to be pretty much just like any other girl. You’re going to be able to tell if she likes you the same way you might notice that another girl would like you. She’s going to be doing pretty much the same things like:

• Making excuses to be around you
• Getting in your space
• Making more eye contact with you
• Laughing and smiling at your jokes and things you say
• A tomboy, however, may mockingly punch you rather than touch your arm or leg softly, but it means the same thing – she likes you!

She’s Not Going To Be Good At The Seduction Game

Unlike more girly girls, a tomboy isn’t going to know how to flirt or be very good at the seduction game. She’s going to be more laid back, casual and relaxed. So make sure you take things slow and don’t move too fast. If you do, you might scare her off! Aim to be more casual and relaxed yourself, and let the attraction unfold naturally. You’ll be able to tell if she likes you if she wants to spend more time with you, so after that, just let things take their natural course! Be yourself and remember to have fun!

Related Posts

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3. 5 Awkward Ways To Flirt With A Woman
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Difficulty Relating To Women

Okay smart men – you know who you are. You’re the science guy, the IT guy, the accounting and finance fella. You’ve got brains and you know that if any women really got to know you, they would fall madly in love with you! Here’s the problem:

Most brilliant men are so left-brained that they have incredible difficulty relating and talking to women! So how do you overcome this?

It’s time to get in touch with the right side of your brain! Some dating tips may give you pick up lines that promise magical things will happen as soon as the words leave your mouth, but that’s just not the case here. You’ve got to get more in touch with the right side of your brain, so you can learn to relate to women better. This is not going to immediately snag you a date with the smartest (and hottest) woman, but it will help you get better at relating to women on a larger scale.

Thinking Outside The Box

To get the right side of your noggin’ more involved, you need to find some creative hobbies that allow you to get into that mode and away from the super smart, super analytical side of your brain. Poetry and art are awesome ways to get that going, but pretty much any hobby or activity that allows you to think “outside the box” will do.

It might be uncomfortable at first, or you may feel out of place, simply because your brain doesn’t work that way. You’re not an artsy-fartsy guy! But if you get just a little outside your comfort zone and start doing things that help you develop an artistic nature or engage your creativity, you’re already on your way to meeting women and being able to relate to them well enough that you can pick them up!

Be Yourself

Being yourself always works better to attract women, simply because the ladies can usually spot a fake a mile away. A lot of guys don’t understand that women want to get to know YOU, not the guy you think they want to get to know. So many men put on a fake front because they think that will help them attract more women and in the beginning, it may. But it won’t be long before she realizes that you’re not who she thought you were and she’s out the door.

Be yourself and take pride in the fact that you’re an intelligent man! Ladies love this! They want to be able to have a real, amazing conversation with a guy! So have the confidence to put yourself out there – the REAL you.

Strong Masculine Energy & Eye Contact

Having a strong, masculine energy and having the confidence to make eye contact makes a big difference when trying to get a date with a smart chick. In fact, this is one of those dating tips that applies to pretty much any woman. Ladies don’t want to be with a wimp – and unfortunately, a lot of really brilliant guys come off as “wimps” simply because they’ve never had the confidence or practice to have a strong masculine energy about them. They may have grown up as “nerds” or were made fun of for being so smart, so they sink into that persona over time – without realizing that it IS possible to be uber-smart and great with the ladies.

Your Mindset Is Important

It’s very important that you have the right mindset when it comes to attracting intelligent women. Don’t think that these smart women are beyond your reach – they are just people too! A lot of times, guys are so intimidated by hot women, they don’t approach them – but in reality, these girls really don’t get many dates because men are too intimidated to approach them! Have the mindset that these women are real people and you can connect with them – just start that conversation! Hot women are often the most friendly, down to earth people you’ve ever met.

Don’t Focus On Looks

Don’t be so focused on a woman’s looks that you fail to see the amazing personality within. Have a conversation with her, ask her intelligent questions and give intelligent answers. Get to know who she really is! It’s critical to be open and real with a woman if you want a shot at having a true relationship.

Basic Tips For Talking To Women

• On average, women say about 15,000 words per day and guys say about 6,000.
• Make a goal to start talking more, period!
• Learn to relax in social situations
• Practice talking to women! Even if it’s not the girl you’re interested in, just get more comfortable talking to women in general.
• Learn something new every time you talk to a girl! Women are people too.
• It’s not a failure if you don’t get with a girl, but you learn something that will help you in the future.

Related Posts

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5. How To Be A Nice Guy – And Get All The Girls

Focus On Becoming More Attractive Every Day

Attractiveness isn’t just about how you look – it’s about how you feel on the inside. How you feel about yourself shows up on the outside, and people read into that. If you’re down on yourself or don’t have self confidence, it’s going to be written all over your face. If you want to be attractive to women, you have to have confidence and strength on the inside.

Becoming more confident in yourself and feeling great about who you are as a person doesn’t come overnight, especially if you’ve never had good self esteem. It will take time, but focus on becoming confident and secure with who you are a little more each day. Turn yourself into someone who isn’t afraid to go after what they want, instead of sitting back on the sidelines and watching life go by. Have passions in your life and things you care about. Have goals and work towards them each day.

Believe That You Don’t Need A Girl To Be Happy

The less you “need” a woman in your life, the less you will give off that needy, clingy vibe. You will automatically begin to attract more women, simply because you have that confidence to go home alone if there’s no one that catches your eye. Know that you can be happy within yourself – it’s a choice you have to make and when you do, it will totally change your life. Really believe that you can be happy by yourself and that you don’t need someone else to be the source of your satisfaction in life.

When you have things in your life that you enjoy doing – that you don’t need a woman for – and that you’re truly passionate about, people are going to want to be a part of that. When you exude confidence and happiness all the time, people are going to want to be around you, especially women. They all want a piece of that! Make an effort to increase your self esteem and know that you are happy with who you are, without a girl. Then, instead of trying to be someone that a woman will like, you can find one that is the right match for YOU.

Don’t Get Stuck On One Woman

A lot of guys get stuck in a crush and think that this is the only girl that will ever make them happy. They obsess over this one girl, and don’t make any room for other women that might be a better match. When you learn to be happy without women, it will be easier to know that the right one will eventually come to you. You’ll have the confidence to know that if a particular woman you like doesn’t feel the same way about you, it’s not the end of the world – you’ll end up with someone who is an even better fit with you.

How Do You Get The Right One To Chase You?

Believe it or not, it’s not difficult to get a woman you like to chase you. It is, however, the opposite of what most men try to do when they meet a girl they like. When most guys meet awoman they like, they go after her hard, flirting up a storm and making it completely obvious what he wants. This approach, however, will turn most women off. To get a girl to chase you is simple – let her see you around other attractive women! Talk to other women, be flirting with them and having fun.

There’s really nothing that will get a woman more interested in you and want to chase you than a little friendly competition! Take advantage of that, but don’t go overboard with it. Once you and a woman establish that you’re really into each other, you want to be focused on her.

Once you’ve gotten things right on the inside and are the fun, exciting, happy, confident and kind guy that everyone wants to be around, she’s not going to be able to stop herself from liking you!

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5. 5 Ways to Turn Your Bedroom Into a Sex Magnet

There’s No Magic Formula

When it comes to dating or getting a girl to fall in love with you, there’s no magic formula that will garner you success every time. You’re going to strike out some of the time, and you’re probably not going to meet the girl you’re going to marry right away. However, there are some things you can do to tip the scales in your favor!

Be The Best “You” That You Can Possibly Be

Many guys focus too much on “getting the right girl” or even just getting a girl to give out a phone number that they forget that girls are actually looking at what they’re bringing to the table. You may have the smoothest pick up lines, but if it’s all a front and you’re faking it, you’re not going to get very far at all. You have to be real and genuine, and have enough confidence to know that you’re a catch.

If you’re not a catch, work on improving yourself. Look at what you’re bringing to the table and see if it needs improvement. Do you have a crappy job that you hate or no job at all? Try to find a job that utilizes your skills and that you love. Go back to school if you need to.

Look at your physical health as well. Are you healthy? Do you need to lose weight or tone up? Would you feel better if you did? What about your mental health? Are you in a positive place in your life? Do what you can to make your body and mind healthy – not only will you look better to women, you’ll feel better too and that will come off in your attitude and demeanor.

Instead of trying to convince a girl to go out with you when dating, approach it a little differently. Be the best possible “you” that you can be, whether it’s finding a new job that makes you happy, taking up hobbies that relieve stress or losing weight and getting fit, moving towards the positive in life will put you in the perfect place to meet the right woman.

Never Give Up Your Values

Too many guys try to be the person they think a girl wants – and they change it up depending on what type of girl they’re dating. These guys almost never get women! First of all, a girl can’t tell who a man really is and what he stands for if he’s always changing it – because let’s face it, if a man is always changing his values, attitude and standards, it’s not likely he even knows who he is and what he stands for.
Develop your own morals and values, and stick to them throughout your dating experiences. You will attract women who are compatible with the real you, instead of women who you have to “make” yourself be compatible with. Learn to love yourself for who you really are, and let that confidence in yourself show through.

Don’t Play Games With Women

Have enough respect for a woman – and yourself – to be real with her. Be yourself. Take the risk and put yourself out there – because ultimately, that’s what you want. You want to meet a woman who is your true match and who you are compatible with. If you’re not putting the real you out there and are playing games, you’re either going to meet someone you’re really not compatible with or you’re going to meet a woman who is playing games with you.

Have A Magnetic, Positive Energy

Girls are attracted to men who are positive, magnetic, confident and fun to be around. Guys who are down in the dumps all the time aren’t going to get very many girls. Make sure that when you meet a girl, you’re putting off the right vibe. Be positive, tell funny jokes and listen to what she has to say. Get her laughing and make sure you yourself are laughing. Women will flock to you if you put off that magnetic energy.

Treat A Woman Well

While some girls like the the “bad boy type” type, that usually never lasts very long. If you want to snag the girl of your dreams, you need to learn to treat women well. Treat all women with respect – if you’re with her, support her and encourage her to do the things she loves to do and is passionate about. Don’t criticize women or cut them down. Make her feel great about herself and she’ll fall for you!

Compliment her and build up her self-esteem. Don’t assume that because you told her she’s beautiful one time that she knows you think she’s beautiful and you never have to say it again. If you’re thinking it, say it! Compliment her skills and things that she’s accomplished. Be proud of her.

Make Her Feel Like The Only Girl In The World For You!

All women want to feel loved and feel special to their partners. They also want to feel like they’re the only girl who can ever make you feel the way she makes you feel. So make sure she believes it! Make her feel like she’s the only one for you and you’ll have her falling head over heels.

Learn To Be A More Charismatic Person

Technique is important – and technique is learned, it’s not something that comes naturally. Take some time to learn how to be a more magnetic, charismatic person. Get out there and practice meeting women. Consider working with a dating coach. You’re not going to be completely comfortable introducing yourself and talking to women the first few times you do it, but the more you practice, the better you’ll get.

Even getting out there and just developing friendships with other people will help a man get comfortable talking to women – often, men who are uncomfortable talking to women are actually uncomfortable talking to people in general.

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Are Poems Lame?

A lot of guys think that using poetry as part of their seduction tactics is lame. However, there’s a reason most guys think poems aren’t cool – they’re not hardwired to respond to poems like women are. From a guy’s point of view, poetry isn’t going to get you anywhere. Fortunately, you’re looking for things to make a woman swoon. So throw out all of your preconceived notions about poems! You can learn how to use a few simple lines of poetry to make a girl melt, almost guaranteed.

So does reciting poems and employing that old school romance make you look like a fool in front of women? Not hardly! When done the right way, it shows that you have enough strength and inner confidence to try something new and different. Guys who are too “manly” to get in touch with their romantic side like this aren’t going to get very far with the ladies. Using poems as part of your seduction techniques is what is going to make you stand out from the crowd – which is important if you really want the ladies to notice you!

Don’t Be The Guy She Thinks Would Use Poems

If you’re the wimpy, super romantic type of guy who uses poetry and no one is surprised by it, you’re not going to get a lot of women to notice you. To make this seduction tactic to work well for you, you actually have to be the kind of guy that no one would expect to use poems. You have to be very strong, confident and assertive. Be a little bit of a “manly man” on the outside, because that is what’s going to make it so surprising and incredible when you start breaking out the poems.

You want to show her the soft, sweet side of you, but you want to make her believe that she is the only one who gets to see that romantic side. If you’re sweet and romantic all the time, this isn’t going to be believable. To make this work well, you have to be strong enough on the inside to let the romantic side out of you and make yourself vulnerable to her. Really make her feel that she’s the only girl who gets to see this side of you.

Benefits Of Using Poetry

• Not many guys are actually doing this. It’s a great way to stand out from the crowd and make yourself noticeable.
• Girls love it. Women respond much better to language than anything else. By reciting poems to her, you’re actually speaking a “language” she can understand – which can be better than anything you can buy her or do for her to show her you’re into her. Language is key with women!
• You’ll surprise her with that aspect of your personality and it will make you look like there’s more to you than meets the eye – which is extremely attractive to girls!

Don’t Overdo It

Just like with anything else, if you do it too much, it’s going to boring, monotonous and it’s going to get lame. You definitely don’t want to overdo it when it comes to using poems during seduction. If you do, she’ll love it at first, and then begin to get tired of it. She’ll want to see and experience something new and if you’re doing the same thing over and over again, she’ll look for that something “new” in someone else. Think of poetry as your secret seduction weapon that you save for just the right time and place, and you only use it occasionally. Mix it up with flirting and other tactics to keep her interested.

How To Come Up With The Right Poems

If you’re not very good with the written word, or struggle with writing good poetry, look online for some poems that you can recite to her instead. Don’t be afraid to take some creative license with a poem that is already written and make it your own. Make sure to choose a poem that is short and sweet – a long Shakespearean poem is going to bore both you and your partner by the third verse, unless you’re both really into Shakespeare. Remember to have fun with it and don’t make it too serious!

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Question: Hi Dan and Jenn. I’m a new subscriber. I’ve watched a few of your videos so far but haven’t found one that answers my specific question. I was wondering if it’s okay to ask for a womens number while they’re working? The specific place I’m curious about is Subway. I’ve heard it’s not kosher to do this. Thanks in advance and I hope to learn a lot!

–YouTube Viewer

Dating Won’t Happen Unless You Ask First

The first thing that guys have to understand about the dating process is that it’s probably not going to happen unless YOU do the asking. So you’re pretty much guaranteed a “no” if you don’t ask a woman out. So gather up your courage, and get ready to make the first move!

If You Share A Workplace

When most guys think about asking a girl out at work, it usually means he’s romantically interested in a woman that he is employed with. Generally speaking, this is almost always a bad idea! If you get involved in a relationship with someone you are employed with and things end badly, it can definitely make for quite an awkward situation later. Also, some companies have strict policies against dating at work, and it could cause you to lose your job. It might also end well, so you never know until you try. Just be aware that you’re taking a risk when you consider dating someone that you’re employed with.

At Your Potential Date’s Workplace

The situation is a little different when you talk about how to approach women at their place of business. For example, if the woman you’re interested in works at a restaurant or a hotel that you frequent, there’s no reason not to ask her out there. However, there are some rules that you want to follow if you’re thinking about approaching a woman where she works to ask her out on a date.

Do Not Go At Peak Hours

Every place of business has peak hours, especially restaurants. Never try to ask a woman out at a time where she’s slammed with customers, the boss is watching or she is too busy with other things. This will get you brushed off immediately, even though she may actually be interested in dating you. Timing is everything in this type of situation and if you do it at the wrong time, you’re just not going to get anywhere. Wait until she’s not busy with customers or other things, so she actually has time to process what you’re saying.

Make Sure You’re Able To Get One On One Time

This really goes for when you ask anyone anything – you really want to be one one one with that person, rather than having a bunch of other people listening in on the conversation you’re trying to have. Have the confidence to approach the girl you like when she’s alone.

Establish A Vibe

Going up to a woman you like and asking for a phone number right off the bat probably isn’t going to end well, even if you are one on one with her and no one else is watching or listening. So start flirting with her a little first. Smile at her, joke a little and make eye contact. Establish a connection or vibe first, before you suggest taking her out on a date. It’s more likely that she’ll be interested in dating you if you flirt a little first.

If She Rejects You

Depending on how you’ve set things up (and whether she’s really interested in you or not), you may very well get rejected. Don’t take it personally, especially if you’ve approached her at a bad time. You can always try again at another time. However, if she turns down your dating offer more than once, it’s safe to say that it’s not your timing that is the issue here. Remember that dating is all about having fun and meeting new people – so if you strike out more than once with one particular woman, remember that there are more out there that you could have an even better connection with. Don’t assume that if this one rejects you that it’s all over – because it’s not!

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5. Foolproof Ways To Get His Or Her Number

What She Said

1. Zumba classes
2. The library
3. Coffee shop
4. Grocery store
5. Happy hour at a wine bar

A Zumba (Or Other Exercise) Class

Want to get your groove on? Try a Zumba class! That’s where all the fit chicks will be dancing in tight-fitting workout clothes. You’ll stand out in a sea of ladies – and women dig a man with enough balls to enroll in a dance class. Bonus – you’ll be getting in even more shape!

The Library

Meeting a woman at the library is one of the older dating tips, but it’s a good one. It means the woman you have your eye on is probably well read, which can lead to an intellectual connection. While “book smart” might not be number one on your list, think of it this way – most women connect intellectually and emotionally before hitting the sack. Besides, if you’re looking for a girlfriend and not just sex, you’ll be happy knowing you’ve found someone you can talk to.

A Coffee Shop

Ah, coffee shops – the liquid matchmaker of our modern times. Starbucks is probably indirectly responsible for helping create as many babies as they are non-fat vanilla lattes. Hanging at your local caffeine peddler’s place is a great way to read the Sunday paper – and scope out potential dates.

The Grocery Store

Most people are creatures of habit and this is where the grocery store comes in. Given our hectic schedules during the workweek, most folks finding themselves usually doing their food shopping at the same time each week. This give you the opportunity to chat with a crush in the soup aisle until it’s time to make your move and go out on a date.

Bars

Once again, bars are more known for one night stands than long-term unions – but there are exceptions to every rule. Hard alcohol usually means “party time,” while a wine bar generally indicates civilized sipping. Meeting up over a glass of wine is a great way to relax and get to know someone. Once again, most creatures of habit tend to frequent the same Happy Hour each week, which gives you the opportunity to get to know someone over repeated run-ins.

What He Said

1. Educational classes
2. Fitness classes
3. Yoga Retreats
4. Eat, Pray, Lovebook club
5. Subway

Educational Classes

Chicks dig learning, more so than guys. For women, life is a journey. For men, it’s a destination, so if you’re into learning (or can fake it) you have a natural in with women. One of the best dating tips is to take a class in something you might be interested in or that a woman you’re attracted to might be interested. You’ll be good to go.

Fitness Classes

Men go to the gym. Women go to classes at the gym. Big difference. You’ll see a totally different group of people in those fitness classes than you will walking around the weight room, which by definition is a sausage fest. Go, become a regular and then you’ll get credibility (she’ll think you’re really into that class as opposed to being the creepy guy just going to classes to pick up chicks that you are). Use that credibility to strike up a conversation and boom! You’re in.

A Yoga Retreat

Yoga retreats have a pretty standard 90% women to 10% guys ratio. You’re on vacation, her stress, worry and inhibitions are back and home, what happens on retreat stays on retreat…you do the math.

Eat, Pray, Love Book Club

Eat, Pray, Love will get you a woman. Period. I’ll explain, while on a yoga retreat (where I learned the 90/10 rule), every woman was talking about how that book changed their lives (it’s literally a cult, that book), so when I got home I ran to the book store and bought it and started reading it, and carrying around with me so I could sneak in a few pages wherever I went. Women were stopping me left and right. They couldn’t believe I was reading this book (NOTE: you will need to actually read it. It won’t work otherwise, and these women WILL quiz you on it). Buy it, read it, and it’s on.

A Subway Restaurant

Hanging out at a Subway is one of the surprisingly good dating tips that help you meet a woman and see what’s she’s into. If she orders a foot long, let her pass. If she orders the six inch, it’s on! Seriously though, if you’re trying to meet women, set a goal of talking to twenty hot chicks a day and don’t go to sleep until you to. Do that for a week. Pretty soon you’ll see the obvious: hot chicks are everywhere. You don’t have to worry about going to a specific place. It’s always on.

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Sweet guys are great, but men that are too sweet don’t attract many women because of their decided lack of backbone. Fortunately, there’s a compromise – you CAN be a “nice” guy, but you can also be strong and assertive – which is totally attractive to women. Here’s how to be the kind of man she REALLY wants.

Do Girls Really Like Bad Boys?

It’s a common belief that girls like bad boys – but is it true? Not exactly. Girls like the idea of a bad boy, but they really like the nice guys better. Women like the idea that a man can be strong, confident and a little naughty, but they don’t like being treated badly like so many “bad” boys do. Most women like nice guys better – as long as they’re not too nice.

Nice Doesn’t Have To Equal Wimpy And Submissive

Women want a strong, confident man. That’s why they often gravitate to the “bad boys.” Initially, a woman can be smitten with the confident persona that a guy like this puts on, but for long term relationships it almost never works out. Women want to be treated well and a lot of these type of guys tend to be more aggressive and demeaning towards women. Not at first, of course, because in any dating situation, a man is going to put is best foot forward to try to seduce a woman. However, as time goes on, he starts becoming more comfortable with her and may end up treating her less like his girlfriend and more like an object.

So being a “bad boy” isn’t going to get you very far with women – but being “nice” doesn’t mean that you have to be wimpy and submissive. In fact, women really don’t like wimpy or submissive guys. You can be nice, courteous and respectful towards a girl without giving up your confidence. In fact, being respectful and kind while still being strong and confident is what is most attractive to women!

Don’t Get Caught Being “Too” Sweet

Part of being this kind of man is listening to a girl, being there for her, complimenting her, etc. But you don’t want to get caught being too sweet, because this can have the opposite effect. If you’re really going overboard, you’re going to give off that “wimpy” vibe, which is exactly what you DON’T want to do.

If you’re being too sweet, you’re going to end up getting stuck in the friend zone – where she talks to you about all her problems because you’re such a great listener like her girlfriends! You don’t want to get in this mess either. You want to be a strong, confident sweet guy that makes her feel great – not like she’s sitting down for a gab-fest with one of her best friends.

Know How To Be Firm And Assertive When The Situation Calls For It

Part of the difference between wimps and men who are sweet but also strong and confident is that strong, confident men know exactly how to be firm and assertive when the situation calls for it. Wimpy guys are sweet and sensitive ALL the time, and this isn’t going to get you anywhere with a woman. A woman wants a guy who can man up if need be.

Don’t be too needy, too clingy or wishy-washy in your decisions. When dating, be assertive enough to choose the restaurant you’re going to take her to, but nice enough to open the door and pull out the chair for her. Don’t order FOR her, but ask her what she’d like and then tell the wait staff. There are lots of ways to show a woman that you’re confident enough to run the show, but also that you’re going to treat her the way she deserves to be treated.

You WILL Get Rejected At Some Point

Not every woman is going to say “yes” when you ask her out, even when you have the right persona. This is something you’re going to have to come to terms with – because even if you think you’re saying and doing everything perfectly, not every woman is going to respond to what you’ve got to offer. However, realizing that this is just part of it is what is going to get you past it. When you are confident enough to get rejected without taking it too personally, you’ll start getting rejected less and less.

Be Genuine

While learning how to be a sweet guy is great for getting the ladies, make sure you’re actually being genuine about it and that this is who you really want to be. If you’re faking it to manipulate a girl into feeling a certain way by pretending you’re someone you’re not, any relationship you get into isn’t going to last long before the girl figures out what is really going on.

Don’t be ashamed of who you are and don’t be too nervous to show the REAL you to a woman. If you don’t, she will eventually get to know the real you and realize that it’s not who you were at the beginning. Love yourself for who you are and use that to be authentic with a woman. Being authentic is what will help you find women that you’re actually compatible with!

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Saying Something Is Better Than Saying Nothing At All

You may have the perfect pick up line in your head, but if you never actually start a conversation with a woman, your pick up lines are going to get you nowhere fast. Even if you flub your “lines” or don’t end up saying the right thing, opening your mouth and putting yourself out there will get you farther with a woman than standing silently on the sidelines.

Find out if you and the girl you’re interested in have something in common. It’s easier to strike up a conversation with someone if you both have something in common – so ask a woman what she likes and find out if you have any similar interests. As you begin talking about things that you like, don’t like and enjoy doing, you’ll start getting to know each other – which opens the door to the next step.

Always Stay True To Yourself

Many guys are tempted to try to be the guy they “think” a woman wants when they start flirting. However, this can end up backfiring on you fast because it won’t take long for a woman to realize that you’re being wishy washy about your interests and you’re not really being yourself.

Learn to like yourself for who you are and learn to be confident in your own skin. Take that confidence with you when you introduce yourself to a woman, and don’t be afraid to put the real you out there. Don’t fake your interests because you think she’ll like you better that way. Be like a rock in what you like and what you don’t like – because let’s face it – if she doesn’t like you for who you really are, do you really want to be with her anyways?

Have Fun With Her

Women remember how they feel during an encounter with a guy much more than they remember what was said or what actually happened. Any time you’re with a girl, make her feel amazing! Make her laugh, pay compliments and make her feel like she’s the only woman in the room.

If you get to go on a date with a woman, make sure you have lots of fun things planned in advance. Don’t just take a woman to dinner and a movie – that’s okay, but it’s not going to evoke any new emotions and make you stand apart from every other guy that’s ever taken her out to dinner and a movie. Instead, take your woman on adventurous dates such as hiking or bike riding. Make sure she feels excited when she’s with you and that things are unpredictable and fun!

As you get to know a girl, start encouraging her to reach the goals she has in life. Be there for your woman and be supportive of what she wants to do and where she wants to go in life. Show a woman that what is important to her is important to you too.

Have No Fear

When dating, you really have to be willing to take a risk and put yourself out there. You’ll find that the more willing you are to take risks and approach women and start conversations with them, the more women will actually be interested in you. Guys who are scared or fake it don’t end up with many women – or any at all!

Quit waiting for the right time to go up to a woman, or the right situation to come out of your shell. You’re never going to find the perfect “time” or the perfect “situation” to ask a girl out. If you’re waiting for everything to be perfect, that time will never come. Instead, just go for it! Go up to a woman and start talking. You may not get a good response every single time you do, but you’re never going to get anywhere at all if you don’t actually start doing it!

Be strong, confident and put the real you out there. When you take a risk and make yourself vulnerable by being yourself, women will notice. Don’t be afraid to go up to them and start a conversation – when take that first step, you’ll find that it’s easy to get a girl to become infatuated with you!

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Pay Attention To What Your Body Language Says To Girls

When a girl approaches you or you approach her, she’s going to size you up in about five seconds. She’s going to make a judgement about you based on several things, including the way you look, the way you dress and even how you smell. Your body language plays an important part in attracting women, because this is what will make you seem approachable to her or not. Subconsciously, she’s reading your body language to know if it’s okay to go up and talk to you or not.

Make sure that your body language communicates that you’re a strong, confident man, who is also friendly and fun to hang out with. When you’re flirting with a woman, you want to make a lot of strong, masculine gestures and also make sure that you’re not stooping over – if you have poor posture, you’re not going to look confident at all. Make sure your facial expressions convey a happy, confident and fun to be around personality – if you’re scowling the whole time, no girl is going to want to approach you or carry on a conversation with you.

Have Friends That Are Also Confident And Fun To Be Around

Who your friends are and who is in your social circle really says a lot about you, especially to a woman. When choosing friends, know that your friends really show who you are, so you want to make sure that you and your friends have similar ideals. If you’re hanging around a bunch of bullies or jerks, girls are going to think that you’re a bully or a jerk, even if you’re not. Your friends should be just as nice and friendly to others as you are.

Learn To Love Yourself

Women want to be dating confident men – they don’t want to be dating a wuss. So you want to project an air of self confidence and to do that, you must truly learn to love yourself for who you really are. Know that each person is special and unique (including you) and each person has something they can offer other people that no one else can. Each person is an individual and no two people are exactly alike. Learn to love yourself and be confident in what YOU can offer, because it’s special!

How To Break The Ice

You’ve got the first five seconds down, but now you actually have to talk to her! What do you talk to her about? How can you break the ice without choking up?

Start flirting with her. Engage her in conversation. Start by asking her questions. Don’t just ask questions like, “What do you think about the crazy weather we’ve been having lately?” That’s lame. Ask her intellectual questions about her, things around you or things that matter to her. For example, ask her what she is passionate about. No, not what her hobbies are or what sports she plays. Ask her questions that really make her think, like, “What is it that makes you want to wake up every morning?”

Talk About Your Passions

While you definitely want to break the ice by asking her about her passions first, there’s probably going to be an opening at some point for you to talk about what drives you. Be honest with her and let her know what you truly love and what really makes you tick. Hopefully, you and her share some of the same passions or at least ones that are similar so you can start building some common ground, which is essential when you start dating someone.

However, you’re never going to know if you and a girl would really hit it off unless you’re completely honest about your passions and what you love, even though it makes you more vulnerable to rejection. When it comes to dating, women know that a man is risking rejection each time he is flirting with a girl or asks a woman out. You can really make a difference by revealing yourself to a girl, instead of trying to be the guy you think she wants.

Stay Positive

Girls always remember how they feel when they meet a guy. She may not remember exactly what he looks like or exactly what he said, but if he made her feel great, she’s going to remember him and either be waiting for his call or be dialing his digits herself. If a guy makes her feel amazing, she’s definitely going to want to be dating him.

If you make women feel great when they’re around you, they’re going to remember you and want to hang out with you even more. If you’re a downer while they’re around, or if you’re pessimistic or constantly complaining about things, a woman is going to want to run for the hills at the first chance she gets. Even if you’re nervous, focus on flirting with her and making her laugh. Smile, relax and remember to have fun. Show her a good time and make her feel like she’s the only girl in the room. If you do, it’s pretty much guaranteed that you’ll score a date with her.

You’ve Got To Do More Than Talk

While you may be able to talk a good game, that’s not the only thing you have to do if you want to keep women you want to be dating coming back to you for more. Use body language and gestures to show a woman that you’re really interested in her. For example, you can look in her eyes just a few seconds longer than is comfortable and touch her arm while she’s talking to you or you’re talking to her.

If things are going really well between you and a girl, don’t be afraid to take it a step further. If you and her seem to be really hitting it off, don’t be afraid to take a risk and go in for a kiss. Even if you get rejected 10 times out of 11, all that really mattered was that you got 1 “Yes!”

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So maybe you are out running an every day errand, maybe you are getting some drinks at a bar or club, either way, all you know is that you are going a long with your business and like a fly to a neon light, you see some girl that completely captures your attention. All you want is to be able to go up and talk to her, flirt with her, sweep her off her feet, and walk out with her.

However for some, this task simply remains an idea while they sit idly and watch the girl they admire walk away, many times to never be seen again. Well if one can apply the simple concepts presented in this article, difficulty making an introduction will become a thing of the past.

She Probably Won’t Introduce Herself To You

First thing you need to understand is that the girl will almost never make an introduction on you, per say. What I mean is that it is extremely rare that any girl will go out of her way, go up to you, and initiate the conversation, I don’t care how good looking you are, it almost never happens so get that idea out of your head and never wait around for it. Girls do however go out of their way to make themselves readily available for your introduction.

This is because it is your job, as the man, to go up, pick the girl you want, and initiate the conversation. It is your right as a man; never forget this. There is nothing socially wrong with it, if anything it is expected of you.

So the key to a successful first introduction is identifying what kind of girls want to be approached. Often times, it goes wrong for a guy it is because they are waiting around too long, missing opportunities the girl presents, or simply introduce yourself girls that are not currently open to flirting. So the step is identifying the two major things that a girl will do to open herself to your introduction.

How She Will Open Herself Up To You

Eye Contact

This is by far the most important window that a girl can present to you for you to open. Think about what its like when you walk through a busy street. As you walk on your way, there are naturally people that just catch your eye, sometimes it is a pretty girl, other times it is just someone in your vicinity, point is subconsciously your mind works to make yourself aware of your surroundings. We do this by making brief eye contact with the people around us and girls do the same exact thing.

If you are out and about and you happen to notice a girl look in your direction and you make eye contact with her, even for just a brief second, consider that your push in the butt to go up and talk to her. Because she has recognized you in her surroundings/subconscious, she will not be startled and taken aback by your introduction, in fact about 80% of the time girls make eye contact with a guy is because they found something about them attractive in one way. Think of it like an 80% chance that the dating will go well.

Proximity

Meaning that the girl is in your vicinity. Think of it like this, you are at bar or club and you see a girl you like within her group of friends. Her actions may show that she is in fact very open to being approached, regardless if they are on purpose or subconscious. If you notice the girl standing within a 10 foot radius of yourself for more than 3 mins, she has processed you in her surroundings and will be much more susceptible to an introduction. If you notice her walking by you on more than one occasion, you sure as hell better make an introduction. And lastly if you are noticing her facing you within her group or wherever she may be, she is opening herself to be approached by you.

Combining eye contact and proximity will make the dating go smoothly, especially if you can combine it with this very simple formula for introducing yourself to a girl you find attractive.

Now what I am about to share may sound like a pick up line to some but it should not be viewed like that. It should be viewed as a natural response to a women you find attractive. Although sometimes there are opportunities where something clever and situational can be made into an introduction, it is much simpler to have a natural response to women you find attractive so you don’t over think anything.

Foolproof Introduction To An Attractive Girl

Walk over. Stop. Make eye contact and say:

“Hey I know this seems random but I think you are really cute and I wanted to come over and introduce myself, my name is ______”

Then stick your hand out for a handshake.

This direct introduction works because it allows her to see your intentions from the start, showing you have a general interest in her, if she engages in the conversation, then she is accepting your interest and you already know from the start it is on. Also by putting your hand out and introducing yourself, it allows for her to accept your introduction and be open to a conversation cause you are just being friendly. It is a natural response to shake hands and introduce yourself to someone you just met so by encouraging her to do so after your introduction.

By saying “I know this seems random” in the beginning, you are also addressing the only real objection a girl has to a stranger approaching them, having it be random, so by saying it you take that fear away. Also if you had got eye contact with her or it had her in your proximity, your introduction will be anything but random.

If you can make this style of introduction your go to move when you have nothing clever to say or are otherwise at a loss for words, you will find that even the most attractive girls open up because you are showing social awareness and genuine interest.

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Should She Ask Him Out?

If you’re the lady in the equation, it’s important to figure out what kind of guy you’re dealing with. If he’s a confident guy and is showing obvious interest in you, there’s a good chance he’ll do the asking. Of course, his big personality may attract lots of women, so he may be used to being hotly pursued.

If he seems like the life of the party, you can actually go either way. You can rest assured that he’s accustomed to women asking him out, so he won’t be bothered by you making the move. On the other hand, playing hard to get and making him do some of the work might actually pay off more for you. Men who are used to being chased after are often more intrigued by the women that make them do the chasing.

How To Do It

If you follow the latter option, make sure to flirt it up and make your affection for him just obvious enough that he knows you’re interested.Then sit back and wait for him to come to you. If you find yourself interested in a shy type, you’re most likely going to have to ask him out. This is especially true if you’re not shy yourself, as your overt confidence may be slightly intimidating to a shy guy. If you yourself are also shy or simply don’t believe in making the first move, take heart.

The best way to ask him out without really doing so is getting a friend to intervene. Have a mutual friend let him know that you’re interested in a seemingly uncontrived way. That should be all the confidence boosting he’ll need to make a move on you.

Should He Ask Her Out?

What if you’re the guy in the scenario? Guys can always feel comfortable with making the first move. Even if the woman you ask is used to asking guys out first, she won’t be put off by you beating her to the punch. Luckily for them, men have never had to worry about the unfortunate stigma of seeming desperate if they pursue someone.

Some women still fear that stigma though, so you can make it easier on her and ask a girl out. The modern man does need to worry about becoming too complacent, though. If you’re the type of guy that gets asked out all the time, be careful not to get too comfortable with it.

If you assume that you should let the ladies do all the work, you may miss out on some great catches. There are plenty of wonderful women out there who might be a little shy, a tad old fashioned, or just prefer to feel sought after. Even if you’re a lady magnet, you should take a chance now and again and ask out a girl you’re into.

On the flip side, even if you’re an old fashioned guy and prefer to do the asking, don’t shy away from a woman who’s bold enough to ask you out. In the current dating scene, a woman can make the first move without being a generally pushy person.

Be True To Yourself

Finally, whether you’re a boy or a girl, remain true to your own style. If you really don’t feel comfortable asking someone out, then don’t. That just means that you need to be pursued by someone to be happy, so you probably won’t enjoy dating a person whom you had to make the first move with anyway. Odds are good they’ll keep expecting you to take the lead throughout the relationship, which is probably not your thing.

More importantly, so much of the early dating process is about being in the moment. Trust your gut! If you feel like doing the asking, go for it. The worst thing that can happen is that the guy or gal you ask will say no. That just means it probably wasn’t meant to be to begin with. The truth is that there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to approaching a potential date.

If you can get a feel for the person you’re interested in and go with what’s comfortable for you, you’ll make the right decision every time.

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Many people think that in order to meet a woman, you need to go to a bar or club. This is simply not the case when it comes to meeting and dating quality women. There is a hesitation many people face when it comes to talking to an attractive girl during day-to-day activities. If you feel this way, you are really limiting yourself to the women you could meet in your life.

Meeting a women in the day time is an interesting concept because it takes the element of “pick up,” that one generally associates with a bar or club, and applies it to stores and street venues. What is partiality intriguing though, is if you asked any girl how they envision meeting their dream guy, it never seems to take place in a nighttime venue. Girls will always go on describe a random occurrence at a coffee shop or mall, where the man of their dream just falls into their life and a connection is made.

The Hollywood Effect

Thanks to the picture that books, movies, and television has created, women have the fantasy that they will meet a man for them while going about their day-to-day activities. This perhaps explains why a woman will always put more work into her appearance before going out on a series of errands. If a woman expects to be out and about for than more than an hour, then you can bet they dress to impress (or at least shower and apply make up, unlike what can be said about some of our male counterparts).

It can easily be assumed that women want to be approached during the daytime thanks to the fantasies that they have imagined. This is why it is not uncommon to see a girl doing schoolwork by herself at a Starbucks, or hanging around longer than needed in a Café. She probably did not need to leave her apartment to get work done, yet she got herself put together to be presentable during the day time before going out.

If a women puts all that effort into their presentation before going out, it seems safe to assume that they are indeed meeting men they are interested in during the daytime. Or at least for mindset purposes, assume this is true and your actions will reflect it. Yet it still seems that women flock to bars and clubs as a means of meeting men, now why do you think that is?

Approaching Women During The Day

Let me ask you a question, how many times a day do you think a beautiful women gets approached by a man that attempt to spark a conversation with her?

3 times?

5 times?

Or even a better question, how many times a week do you think she gets approached?

5 times?

10 times?

After interviewing some of the most beautiful women I have met in cities like New York City and Miami as well as asking my close attractive female friends that go out on a day to day basis (for example they always does their school work at Starbucks) I found that they all gave me the same number when it came to approaches from men during the daytime.

Each of these women are NEVER approached by men during the day time! It’s that simple. When I asked if there was ever a time a guy came up and tried to start a conversation with them they all drew a blank. Sure they would get the occasional once over from guys walking by, or maybe a rude sex remark yelled from a distance. But when it came to them doing their day-to-day activities, not so much as a simple “Hey, what’s up?” has ever been extended their way.

Taking The “Daytime” Dating Approach

We have to face the fact men are simply not approaching women during the daytime, yet women prepare themselves for the off chance that it may happen. It is even fair to say that women are more ready and susceptible to a man’s approach than they are at a bar or club. All their guards are down and there is that subtle fantasy that one day a man will genuinely spark a conversation with her and they will have a real connection.

So if you are not already approaching and chatting up women during your day to day activities, just think that myself, and all the single ladies in the world are encouraging you to take advantage of this untapped resource when it comes to meeting and dating women.

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When dating, approaching girls can feel awkward and staged. When someone that is simply good with women approaches a girl, they do not have a scripted line all made up for them to say to a girl. They simply see a girl they like and they go over to talk to them. It can be frustrating to watch, but in the end, it’s something that even the most awkward guys can learn.

Have No Fear

The key to this is understanding why they have no fear to start flirting with ladies. Any fear that you have of talking to girls comes from approval seeking behavior that you also must abandon. People that are simply good with dating girls never seek or care about approval.

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Establishing Touch

In other words, before you can move in for the kill by kissing and/or sleeping with her, you MUST first have a regular, healthy amount of touching that works both ways: she flirtatiously puts her hand on your knee, you encircle her waist with your arm and pull her a little closer, whatever form the physical contact takes, it has to be present for you to achieve your final goal of actual seduction.

And that right there is where the problem for many men lies: how can a guy get the ball rolling when it comes to tactility and physical closeness? If the girl’s not being tactile, how can a guy develop mutual physical closeness without freaking her out or scaring her away?

Often men just “go for it” and consequently end up making the girl feel uncomfortable or even slightly violated because of their rushed attempt at physical closeness. Other men decide they don’t want to risk putting a girl off, so they hold back any kind of touching or bodily contact.

Doing so usually sends out the wrong message, that the guy is either not interested in the girl, or that he’s simply too timid to show it, neither of which are attractive scenarios in the mind of a good-looking, fun-loving girl. Okay, so what’s the solution to this awkward problem?

Basic Rules of Physical Contact

Quite simply, you just need to follow a few basic rules or procedures, all of which conform to the personal boundaries of most girl (and therefore don’t appear uncalled for or rushed) but at the same time clearly indicate that you’re a confident guy who’s not afraid of getting to know girls and even showing it through casual, relaxed physical contact. So, let’s take a look.

Touching is NOT a No-No!

Many men think that touching a girl in any way when they first meet them is an absolute no-no. But that’s simply not true.

To form a positive, strong first impression and create an immediate bond with a girl when you first introduce yourself or get talking, casually and gently touch the outside of her right arm while at the same time verbally expressing something.

The outside of a woman’s arm is not intimate enough a place for the touch to feel strange or out-of-place, but at the same time it’s a clear-cut sign that you’re a personable, socially adept kind of guy. Don’t be afraid to give it a try. You’ll notice the benefits immediately.

Stealth Tactility

Once you’ve started a conversation with a girl, or when you randomly find yourself chatting to a woman you really like the look of, it’s important to keep up the physical contact. Doing so helps maintain the bond and rapport you’ve already created and also helps build it further, into mutually felt sexual attraction.

You can use something called ‘Stealth Tactility’ to do this. Quite simply, stealth tactility involves making physical contact with the girl in a disguised way.

For example, if she wants to go to the bar or bathroom but doesn’t know the way, you can use stealth tactility by placing your hand on her shoulder, drawing her in a little closer, swiveling both of your bodies round until you face in the right direction, then point past other people or obstacles with your other hand to where she needs to go.

Use A Contact Close

Lastly, always try to use a ‘contact close’ when you finish your conversation with a girl. For example, after swapping numbers or arranging to meet again, give her a kiss on the cheek or a hug and a kiss.

Many men think that the hard work’s been done once something’s been arranged for a later date, but making physical contact before you part with a girl is always a great way of ensuring she remembers you and really cannot wait to see you again.

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(Note: In fact, I even recommend you try my top places for picking up that are not bars. They are WAAAAAAAY better than ANY bar and you’ll see a massive leap in your success rates with women.)

As you know, women don’t usually go to bars on their own. They go in groups.

Approaching Groups of Women Can Be Scary!

Approaching GROUPS of women can be extremely daunting and if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can fail BADLY with groups and like a pack of wolves they can rip you apart. I’ve seen men get cussed at, totally ignored and even drinks poured over them.

But if you do the approach RIGHT, then your success with a group of women can usually yield great results.

Whenever I suggest approaching groups of women I get LOADS of guys looking at me as though I’m from another planet. I realize that lots of guys probably don’t have the initial confidence to simply walk up to beautiful women they don’t know. Don’t worry, this can be easily solved. I’ll give you some simple tips here.

SIDE NOTE: If you have a major confidence problem then don’t worry, I have an advanced 155-page E-book called HypnoDate which almost exclusively goes into increasing your confidence with women – and it works through the power of self-reprogramming so it doesn’t matter how shy you are, this thing WILL work for you. But guess what – it’s a bonus product that comes with my book at no extra cost.

Increasing Confidence Exercise In The Mall

Step 1. Walk around the shopping mall and when you catch a woman’s eye, smile at her. More often than not, she’ll smile back. To start with you can do this just with shop employees. Even if they don’t WANT to smile, they probably will. Good practice. And you might even brighten a few women’s lives a little.

Step 2. Once you’ve gained confidence in making natural eye contact and a smile with staff, you could move onto other women in the mall. I’m not suggesting big weird freak smiles, just nice, natural friendly ones. A lot of women will smile back at you.

Step 3. Here’s where it might seem a little weird, but this really does help and practice and repetition will make this lots easier. Just say “hi” with a smile to women (and men if you like) as you walk around the mall. It will feel HORRIBLE at first if you are not confident but slowly, after an hour or two, it’ll seem easy.

How Do You Feel Now?

After you’ve smiled and said hi to 20 or 30 women, you should start to feel good (as long as you don’t quit on your first negative response. This will happen and will happen when you’re approaching women to pick them up. You HAVE to learn to step out of your comfort zone if you want to be successful with women).

One of my male friends did the “smile at girls in the mall” technique and he actually ended up meeting the girl of his dreams and is still with her 3 years later. How’s that for effective!

Other Confidence Building Techniques

There are loads of other techniques you can do to build your confidence, most not quite as scary as the mall one. I go into others within my book…

Right, let’s assume you now have the confidence or at least the guts to approach women you don’t know in a bar (Again, I don’t just go into bar pickups in my book, in fact, I think the best places to pick up women are NOT in a bar. I think it’s everyday places where you’re not competing with other single guys).

Firstly, let’s suppose two girls are sat together at a bar. One is the ‘ugly’ one and one is the hot one (the one you like the looks of and would like to get to know more).

You see the girls. Go up to them and talk to them NOW! Don’t waste time. Within 3 seconds of seeing them, approach them. Some people call this the 3 second rule and I must say it really does seem to work.

If you see her and like her, it’s best not to think too much about the approach, or you’re more likely to work yourself into such a state that your approach will be ineffective or you’ll just pussy out altogether!

(Don’t worry I’ll tell you WHAT to say when you get there in a future lesson). So within 3 seconds, go TALK to her!

ALWAYS, ALWAYS approach a woman from the side or an angle from the front. !!! NEVER from behind – IMPORTANT!!!

If you go up to the group at the bar and approach from behind you will INSTANTLY invoke a negative response, and they will be put on the defensive – for obvious reasons. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS go in from the side.

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But how about the more obvious but actually less frequently discussed topic of verbal communication: how what we say and how we say it impacts on our lives and goals? That’s the subject we’re going to look at today.

Except we’re going to a get a little more specific and delve into how a guy can make easy, fun conversation with a woman, that helps lead to attraction and sexual chemistry between the two of you.

Let’s first get a grasp on a few pieces of background information. First off, how do most men make conversation with a  woman they’re attracted to? What do they do right, wrong or completely miss out from their talks with the opposite sex?

The best way to answer these questions is simply to identify the mistakes the majority of men out there make; things every guy, for whatever reason, chooses to do when talking to a girl, that hinder, rather than help, his chances of hooking up with her.

Mistake #1: ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS.

Lots of men worry that when they start talking to a girl, she won’t say much back. This outcome, standing there, suffering an awkward, embarrassing silence, is so much of a concern that they ask the girl question after question to avoid it.

The reason they bombard her with questions is because they think that the best way of getting and keeping the girl talking is by giving her more and more opportunities to say something, no matter what the topic happens to be.

Unfortunately, doing this sends out a very negative message. It actually shows that you’re nervous and would prefer her to do most of the talking, which often turns the woman off completely.

Mistake #2: NEVER SHUTTING UP.

This is the opposite scenario to the one above, but happens for the same reason. Some men, scared that the girl they’re talking to will up and leave any second, choose to talk endlessly in an effort to keep their attention. Again, this is immediately obvious as a sign of social inexperience and nervousness.

Mistake #3: BORING HER TO DEATH.

It’s not easy talking to a girl who’s beautiful, sexy and usually practically unattainable. So when a guy gets chatting to a girl he really likes, who’s hot and confident, he doesn’t want to mess it up.  After all, it might not happen again for ages!

So, in an attempt to limit the chance of saying something that might ruin the interaction and thus his chances with her, he subconsciously restricts the topics of conversation he brings up.

He talks about work, the weather, sports, current affairs, perhaps bombards her with a few questions on those subjects…and generally doesn’t push the boat out much.

Okay, so they’re 3 of the worst mistakes a guy can make when talking to a girl he likes. So let’s flip the coin and look at what he SHOULD be doing.

Objective #1: PROGRESSIVE QUESTIONING.

Choose what questions you ask the girl wisely. You don’t want to throw too many her way too quickly.

If you do, you give her too much control over the conversation and don’t provide her with a challenge. So, use progressive questioning. Ask her questions that she MUST give a detailed response to.

Avoid Yes/No questions and instead quiz her on things that require emotion-packed responses.

“Do you come her often?” is a terrible question. “What do you think this place could do to make it feel more lively and fun?” is much better, as it not only requires a more detailed reply than a simple “Yes” or “No,” it also probes the girl on what makes her feel good.

Objective #2: Don’t be afraid to let short pauses punctuate your conversation with a girl.

Many men panic when they hear a silence and jump in with another question or statement to fill it. Don’t make the same mistake. A confident, dominant guy, the kind of man women love, isn’t afraid of little pauses, because they’re natural and harmless. He simply, waits a second or two, sips his drink, smiles and goes with the flow.

Objective #3: It’s okay to use common topics of conversation when you first get talking to a girl.

But move away from the mundane stuff as quickly as you can and instead choose to tell engaging stories. Describe a great holiday you had, an amazing concert you recently went to…make it positive and interesting and you engage the girl’s emotions and make her want to tell YOU about her own good times. When this happens, instant rapport and sexual chemistry is born.

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You never know when the girl of your dreams will turn up, or where. And it’s become a bit of a cliché because it’s true. First impressions really do count.

Here are some figures to consider from my studies.

The Numbers

If you make a GOOD first impression on a woman, you have a 90% chance of EVER getting with her at that point (10% of women for whatever reason will be unreachable for most men at ANY point – she might like women herself etc).

If you make a BAD first impression your chances with her reduce drastically to just 20%. This means that to make her attracted to you AFTER the first 3 minutes of meeting her will be incredibly difficult if her first impressions of you were bad.

It’s the difference between climbing a mountain and using a helicopter to fly up one. Good first impressions means you’re on your way to the top in the helicopter, bad first impressions

Honestly, I can’t stress this enough. Always try to look your best.

Tiff’s 5 S’s of First Impressions

Shave. Shower. Stylish. Smell. Shoes.

Remember these 5 S’s and always take care of them before you go out.

Why are shoes my number 5 S?

Your shoes are the FIRST thing a woman really notices about your clothing and hence your appearance.  Make sure your shoes are clean and fashionable.

The Importance of What You Wear

What you wear is very important.  I could try to recommend a certain look but as with all things fashionable by the time you read this it may have changed.

Get the latest GQ magazine or other fashionable men’s magazine’s and imitate the styles you see there. Most women don’t really care what labels you are wearing as long as you look good so you don’t have to spend the Earth on clothing.

Many guys I help dress better usually comment on how strange they feel wearing clothes they are uncomfortable in, but nine times out of 10 they start to feel natural and even confident wearing their new wardrobe within days.

The Importance of Scent

Make sure you smell good.  Again this is extremely important.  Remember how you feel when a woman walks by you and she smells soooo good. You feel an instant attraction even though you don’t know her.  Well, that’s how women feel too.

Wear a good-quality cologne, but don’t spray too much.

Don’t Get Carried Away

One squirt on both sides of the neck, and one squirt on both wrists — maximum.  You don’t want to smell too overpowering.

I recommend cool water by Davidoff or John Paul Gautier for Men (often called JPG love juice because women love it) if they don’t sell it where you are try to order some from abroad, this stuff is GREAT!

And here’s a GREAT little SECRET that I have found will help you actually pickup about 24% of women without SAYING a word to them! Not a single word! And NO rejection either. You won’t find this anywhere else…

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So, how can a guy go about attracting more women? Here are three tips which, if followed, will definitely increase your ability to sexually attract women when you talk to them.

1. Appearances Do Matter

You’ll sometimes hear people say that as long as your personality is just right, then your looks don’t matter. These people are lying. Looks do make a difference.They either improve your overall level of attractiveness or they worsen it. Pretty simple really.

You still need a great personality to be really attractive, though (if you’re a good-looking idiot, you’ll be nowhere near as successful as a not-so-good-looking awesome guy). But, that said, making yourself look as good as possible is never a bad idea.

Forget about your physical features, because, good or bad, they aren’t going to change. Concentrate on your clothes and your hair (facial and head). You need to look trendy to your main target market (the women you’re most interested in attracting).

This might mean looking in magazines and at the mannequins in certain store windows to see what ‘works’ and what doesn’t. Don’t reject the idea of adjusting the way you dress, because first appearances are so often used as measures of the kind of guy you are.

Everyone does it. If you see a Goth, you assume certain things about them. When women see you, you want them to assume that you’re a fashionable, socially-aware guy. Show this through your clothes and your hairstyle. Develop a strong sense of identity and display it.

2. Learn the Art of Good Conversation

Good conversation with women (whom you want to attract) means four main things.

1. It is genuinely interesting and engaging

2. It is fun and addictive

3. There is no pressure

4. There is room for playfulness, teasing and flirting

Never start a conversation with a woman you want to attract on a serious note, because the first thing you talk about sets the tone for everything that comes later on. Don’t go down the obligatory routes, like, “What do you work as?” or “What kind of stuff do you like?”

You need to set the conversation off on an interesting and engaging note. Ask an unusual question which the woman will enjoy answering.

You then need to make sure you don’t fall into the ‘back-and-forth trap’, which is when you ask a question, she answers, then she asks a question and you answer, etc.

Worse yet, you don’t want to fall into the trap of you asking a stream of questions and her giving short answers. To avoid both of these problems, you should make sure you describe things in detail, in an interesting way. It’s good to tell a short story which is really interesting and funny, because it encourages the woman to do the same.

Many men avoid saying too much because they don’t want to take up too much time in the conversation, in case the woman gets bored. They don’t realize that by having the confidence to talk and describe interesting things, then hand the speaker role back to the woman, a man demonstrates social skill and, as a result, becomes more attractive to the woman.

3. Create Opportunities to Succeed

Without the chance to put the things you’ve so far learned into practice, you have no hope of attracting more women than you currently do. It’s like learning to strike a golf ball perfectly but never playing against someone in a real game.

So, you need to start going out regularly. You don’t need to spend a lot of money. Just pick a local nightclub, or some other highly populated social venue, and make it your second home. Force yourself to approach groups of people containing attractive women and start conversations with them.

You’ll soon see what works and what doesn’t and you’ll learn at lightning speed. Bear the rules of good conversation in mind when talking to the women and, as long as you look pretty trendy and can engage and flirt with those women, you’ll attract them.

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For most men, approaching women is a tough task with very little room for mistakes or mess-ups. That is one of the reasons they fear the approach so much, because they do not want to fail.

So, what are the other reasons men hate approaching and talking to women and, more importantly, how can a guy successfully approach a woman and start talking to her without any fear of rejection or gut-wrenching feelings of nervousness?

Reasons Men Fear Approaching Women

1. They are scared of being rejected by the woman
2. They feel inadequate. They’re too fat, too thin, too short, too pale, too something.
3. They feel they lack the social skills needed to succeed. They don’t know what they’d talk about, how to make jokes, etc.
4. They are scared of looking like a desperate guy who is hitting on women
5. They are worried that other men will see what they are doing and socially punish them as a result

Fear of Rejection

So, first things first, why do men fear being rejected by women? If they don’t know the women they’re approaching, why should their opinions matter? Well, we all know that just because we don’t know somebody doesn’t mean we don’t care about what they think of us.

But the real reason men fear rejection is because the fear of rejection has been evolutionarily programmed into their brains. Like all other fears, it acts as a security device, which tries to prevent us from coming to any harm.

Hundreds of thousands of years ago, our ancestors lived in much smaller communities. Messing up with a woman in such a small tribe could easily destroy your chances of having kids. It’s really no wonder men still experience that pang of anxiety just before they walk up to an attractive woman with the intention, or hope, of talking to her.

Then come feelings of inadequacy. You could say that it’s because of feelings of inadequacy that men fear rejection. One leads to the other. Every man and woman has their own unique collection of personal inadequacies.

Regardless of what yours are, you’ll know what it feels like to think that they’re way too bad for any woman to look past them. Clearly this makes meeting a new woman very difficult.

Feelings of Inadequacy

The next reason on the above list follows on from the last two. First a man feels inadequate for some reason, then he fears being rejected and then, as a result of that, he avoids approaching new women and talking to them as much as possible.

This, of course, does nothing for his ability to successfully talk to, flirt with, and attract women. He avoids doing it and so avoids getting good at it.

The last two reasons are pretty self-explanatory. Because the guy feels inadequate and therefore inept at talking to women, he worries women will instantly identify him as a needy loser who wants to hit on and score with them. Clearly this is something he does not want to be seen as.

So! The big question is how can a guy approach women without feeling inadequate, without fearing rejection and without looking like a needy loser? Here are the general guidelines…

Tackle Sources of Innate Anxiety

This means identifying the things you truly don’t like about yourself and putting them into context. What are the things you are most scared of women identifying in you? Do you hate the idea of women looking at your big belly? Your small hands? Your sweaty brow?

Once you have identified your main ‘weaknesses’, you need to consider how much they matter to women. How will your weaknesses disadvantage the woman you want to talk to? A big belly won’t. Small hands won’t. A sweaty brow won’t. She’ll notice it, but it won’t change her psychology or physiology.

By getting rid of the sources of your innate anxiety, you free yourself up and allow yourself to be socially impressive and therefore sexually attractive.

Learn the Rules of Public Social Life

The reason it is scary to approach women in bars and on the street is because you don’t know them, and if you don’t know them, why else would you want to talk to them except because you want something from them? This is a big part of why men fear looking like a needy sleaze.

What you need to do is accept the fact that approaching strangers and talking to them isn’t the norm, then you need to bypass the obstacles which make it difficult.

Learn to ‘Open’ and Practice a Lot

‘Opening’ means starting a conversation with the woman you’ve just approached. It is an art form, but it nevertheless follows a strict set of social rules. You need to avoid looking overly keen from the outset, so try to start the conversation as if you’re walking by, then stopping because something has just popped into your head.

Talk almost a little bit over your shoulder to the woman when you speak your first words. Don’t put pressure on her by walking right up and standing in front of her. Also, make sure your opening line is strong. Don’t signal extreme sexual interest by complimenting her or flirting with her straight away. Don’t say “You’ve got really nice eyes, did you know that?”

Instead, ask something unusual, interesting and perhaps a little funny, like, “Hey, I’ve been having a discussion with a few friends. As a woman, do you think it’s okay for a girl to be stronger than her boyfriend?” She’ll almost certainly say it’s fine. Then you can say, “So you wouldn’t mind carrying him across the threshold on your wedding night?” And the conversation has begun…

So, identify your vulnerabilities and try to put them in context, then learn and think about the rules of social life, especially regarding talking to strangers, then learn a few openers and practice them a LOT. That is how you make approaching women anywhere easy.

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In reality, it is one of the most common ways for men and women to meet each other, because clubs are social venues, people are dressed their best and the drink is flowing.

Possible titles:

How To Successfully Date a Woman You Meet In a Club

Do You Know How To Successfully Attract and Date Women You Meet In a Club?

How to attract and date a woman after meeting her in a nightclub or bar (original author title)

So, if you’re a guy who goes to nightclubs and bars, you should consider the possibility of meeting and attracting a woman in one of these places as a high one.

However, it’s pretty obvious you’ll never see any success unless you make a conscious effort to approach and talk to women you’ve never met before while in one of these social environments. So, what should the process of attracting a woman go like and how can you then date the woman you’ve attracted? Let’s take a look.

1. Scoping

Before you utter your first words to a woman in a bar or nightclub, you need to scope the place out. Of course, this doesn’t mean sitting in the bushes outside the place with some binoculars. Scoping means looking around you and getting a sense of what is going on.

- How many different groups of people are there nearby that contain one or more attractive females you’d like to meet? Just a couple? Dozens?

- What does the dynamic of each of those groups seem to be like? Do they look like they’re having a good time? Are they animated or looking bored?

- Are their any guys in the groups and do those guys look like they are the boyfriends of the girls? (If so, you should obviously respect that and look elsewhere.)

You should always do some scoping before approaching to get an idea of what you’re facing. Higher energy groups will require you to exhibit higher energy levels when you enter them, for example.

Bigger groups containing lots of girls will require you to engage all or most of them when you open, otherwise one or two girls could feel like you’re distracting them from their friends. You get the idea.

2. Approaching & Opening

This step is a tough one for most men, perhaps the toughest. It takes real balls to go up to a group of people and insert yourself into it uninvited. But that is what you must do. If you approach it (them) in the right way, it’ll go well.

You can’t hang around when approaching a group; you need to just head straight in there and use your opener. If they see you lurking nearby, clearly contemplating the idea of talking to them, they’ll see you as a threat or a distraction. Your chances of opening successfully will be shot.

Don’t run at them and barge your way in though. Just walk by, stop, turn to them (but don’t face them straight on, make it like you’re half about to keep on walking) and use your opener. Wait for a silence (or the best time to start talking), but don’t stand there waiting for 5 minutes for the perfect opportunity. As soon as one or two of them turn to look at you, start speaking…”Do you think it’s cool for a guy to carry an umbrella?”

Smile. Let them respond. The more positively they respond, the more you should turn to face them. Walk a little closer and create a bit of controversy to keep them hooked. “No way! I didn’t expect you to say that. [Turning to your target]You …maybe.”

When you see that they’re partially hooked (they’re smiling, facing you, talking in a lively way) you need to integrate yourself into the group more. Ask them to introduce you to their friends, etc. Go from there.

3. Conversation & Flirting

From this point onwards you need to gradually flirt with one or more of the girls and keep your flirting in proportion to the positive signals they are giving you which suggest they are attracted to you. If you flirt too much too soon, they will be put off. If you fail to flirt enough, things will go cold. Be economical. Drop in just a few really good examples of teasing as opposed to lots of weaker ones more often.

4. Closing

Closing means one of the following:

- Kissing the girl

- Getting her number

- Giving her your number

- Swapping numbers with her

The worst on that list is giving her your number but not getting hers. Avoid that. You should aim to swap numbers. Try to do this a long while before you go your separate ways. Don’t leave it until you’re just about to leave the nightclub and return to your respective homes, because it’s more likely to feel weird that way. Keep it casual.

Right after you both crack up laughing at something (a really high energy, positive moment), say, “You’re great. We should swap numbers.” Say that as you take out your phone, as if it’s a done deal…and she’ll happily comply.

5. Arrange Your Second Interaction

Forget all that nonsense about waiting 72 hours or 48 hours or two weeks or whatever it is before calling or texting the girl you’ve attracted and swapped numbers with. You’re in control. You’re a high value male, remember. Send her a text the next day which references something stupid or funny you did or said together when you first met.

This will give her the same positive emotional response when reading the text that she had that night. Enter into a short exchange of fun/teasing texts. After a while, text “You’re being very rude. When you are going to invite me for a candlelit dinner by the riverside?” It’s a playful joke, but it gets the message across in the right way.

As you can see, meeting, attracting and beginning to date a woman can be approached in a systematic way, but it’s very important that you remember what makes dating GOOD. You need to be genuine, with good intentions. Don’t be someone else; be the best version of yourself.

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You make eye contact and smile. She smiles back and decides to come over.  She gets closer and closer.

You suddenly get a tight little knot in your stomach; anxiety from not knowing what will come next.  Now she is standing in front of you.  Your heart is racing.

You barely manage to get out the words, “Uhhhh Hi.”  She says “hi” back with a look of intrigue. As she begins to speak, you begin to doubt.

You wonder what she’s thinking.  How could this beautiful woman possibly be interested in me?

After a brief moment of small talk, the woman walks away.  You begin to wonder, what the hell just happened?

You can’t help but feel rejected.  You obsess over what could possibly be wrong with you.  The next thing you know, several hours have gone by and you’re a big pile of anxiety.

What turned her off?

So what repelled this woman?  It could have been any number of things.  Was it your breath? Your insecure body language?  Your shortened height? Your hideous disfigured face?  The thing is, you will never know what drove this woman away.  This is the unknown variable of attraction.

Variables of attraction

There are many variables in a person that determines whether they are attractive or not.  There have been volumes written about the science of attraction.  Even many of today’s top dating gurus are constantly seeking ways to decipher the process of attraction.  However, with centuries of research and much discussion, there always seems to be one thing, one variable, that consistently makes a person attractive – confidence.

To be free from doubt; to have belief in yourself and your abilities. This is confidence.

Why confidence matters

You can have any number of physical flaws but if there is one thing you must have, it is confidence.  People call it by different names but it all stems from the same meaning.  For example, pick up artists call it “inner game”.  Self help guru’s call it the “Law of Attraction.” Athletes call it “the zone.”  It’s all the same; to truly believe in yourself and your abilities.

If you ask any woman what she looks for in a man, you’ll almost always get “confidence” as one of the answers.  It’s something that we all know  yet few of us utilize.  Why can’t everyone simply be confident and attract the person of their dreams?  Because confidence isn’t something you get over night.  It’s something that needs to be built over time.

How do I achieve confidence?

We generally achieve confidence in ourselves when we experience success.  You start with a small success, move on to achieving a bigger success and so on.  It’s a snowball effect.  You can’t start off by making a super giant snowball from the start because you will probably fail.  If you start with a little snowball and continue rolling it, you can turn something that was little into something big.  Little successes lead to big successes.  Each success gives you more and more confidence.

This is true in attraction.  If you’ve never approached a woman before, then you probably won’t have the confidence to take home a perfect ten the first night you go out.  You shoot for a small success first, persistently trying until you achieve it, then you move on to the next step in the process.  Start with approaching, then building rapport, then seducing.  Once you have had success with all of these, then you will have confidence, and this will cause attraction.

Persistence leads to success.  Success leads to confidence.  Confidence leads to attraction.

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You have to know how to approach a girl in the right manner  if you want to have success with your pickup.

The following are some proven tips I’d recommend you do to help you be successful in meeting women!  Remember a situation where you were going to approach a girl, and before you could even get a single word out, she freaked out and simply rejected you?

Know this – getting shot down has little to do with what you were going to say or what your intentions were.  It’s all about how you go about actually approaching your target. It’s important to do this right the first time, because it’s hard to recover when you make a mistake right off the bat. The key to approaching women is to approach them in a NON-THREATENING manner that does not telegraph your interest.

This is known as “coming in under the radar.”

Understand: Most women have trained themselves to just REJECT men outright when they sense they are being picked up on. This is because women get hit on SO MUCH by men, they just don’t want to deal with yet another guy coming up and wasting their time.

But despite all this, the girl WILL be receptive to you if you know how to approach her in the RIGHT WAY.

So what’s the right way to approach a woman?

Act fast!

First – YOU MUST ACT FAST.

If you hesitate and let the opportunity pass you by, you’re never going to experience success.  Giving yourself time to talk yourself out of approaching a girl will never get you
anywhere, so it’s important you act quickly and JUST DO IT.

Know what to say before you say it

Secondly, know what you’re going to start the conversation with BEFORE you approach the girl.  This will make meeting women much easier because you don’t have to spend time
thinking of what to say before you feel comfortable walking up to meet her. When it comes to a situation like this, you should probably have a good, proven “pick up line” memorized that will help start a conversation.

But don’t confuse the term “pick up line” with sleazy saying like “Nice shoes, let’s have sex!”  The goal here is to be NON-THREATENING, remember?

The best lines usually engage the girl in an innocent conversation. You can do so by asking her opinion on something and then following that up with more questions. When approaching a woman, it’s important that you approach her from an ANGLE.  Most guys charge towards the girl they want to meet like they’re marching to war!  Coming in at an angle is much less  confrontational and will put the girl at ease on a subconscious level.

Practice, practice, practice

Remember: great pick ups can only happen when the girl is comfortable with you. That’s why it’s so important for YOU to feel comfortable when you’re talking to girls! If you’re not  comfortable approaching women, the best way to overcome it is to go out there and start approaching women right away! After all, practice makes perfect, right?

The sad fact is, you’re not going to get good at approaching women if all you do is sit around reading about it and studying it like a test.  If you want to get good and have success, you actually have to go out and DO IT so you can build your experience level. (The good news – it gets easier the more you do it!)

If you’re worried about being rejected, just look at it as a game. The ONLY thing you’re doing is approaching women. You’re not asking her out, you’re not trying to get her into
bed, your only goal is to carry on some type of conversation.

That’s all you need to do!

See how many girls you can talk to in one night, and keep trying to beat your score.

Using time constraints

One last note – try and use a “time constraint” whenever you approach a woman.  This is as easy as  saying you can only talk for a minute before you have to run.

Effective use of time constraints will better engage the woman you’re talking to, because she won’t feel that she’s committing to a time-consuming endeavor.  Instead, you’re only a momentary “distraction.”  This helps eliminate any reason to reject you right off the bat.

If the initial approach goes well and the conversation continues, she will eventually forget you said you can only talk for a “minute” and you can talk as long as you want. The whole point is just to get your “foot in the door.”

The dating game is a numbers game.  The more women you’re able to meet, the greater your chances at finding a great girlfriend, and possibly even a future wife.

To find out more, sign up for Joseph Matthew’s free Meet Women Secrets newsletter for all the most recent tips and methods for meeting and seducing women.

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There’s an expression that best sums up this outlook- “Garbage in, garbage out”

What this means is when you fill your mind with negative thoughts, you severely limit your success in life.  The funny thing is we men use self-talk so much that it’s become a major part of our dating lives.  We often “convince” ourselves that we’re not “worth” dating the truly desirable women.

Negative thoughts often take the form of a “Self-Limiting Belief”.   The definition is simple- A self limiting belief is any sort of self-talk that limits your ability to achieve something.

It’s called “limiting”, because you literally limit your capacity to do well in life.  And in the dating sense, a self-limiting belief is any thought that prevents you from succeeding with women.

In my experience, there are a number of beliefs that hold men back.  In order to improve your success with women, it’s important that you identify these thoughts, then actively eliminate them.

Here are 7 of the most common self-limiting beliefs:

#1- “I want somebody to love the REAL me…”

I’m going to be honest here.  Guys use this belief as an excuse to be lazy.  Many secretly desire a change to their life, but don’t want to make any effort.  So they think that coming up with some line about “being themselves” will somehow make them morally superior to the men who seek outside help.

The truth is, many guys require some guidance with meeting women.  Don’t make an excuse about wanting a woman to love the “real you”.  Instead, try to understand that life should be about constant improvement.  If you want success with women, you need to get out there and find out what really attracts them.

#2- “Love will find me…Eventually”

I once heard a great story about a man who prays to God every day about winning the lottery.  After weeks of having nothing happen, he finally screams at God and asks why his prayers go unanswered.  Seconds later, he hears a booming voice that says: “Buy a lottery ticket!”

The belief that “love will find me eventually” is another excuse that limits your success.  Don’t sit around waiting for the “dating lottery ticket” to arrive.

In order to improve your life, you must be willing to get out there and put yourself in a position to meet women.  It won’t happen if you believe the woman of your dreams will magically show up with little to no effort on your part.

#3- “I’m not good-looking…”

This is one of my favorites!  We men have it lucky in the dating game.  While our attraction to a woman is built primarily on HER looks, they look for something completely different.

A woman’s attraction starts when she makes an emotional connection to a guy.  Sure, looks are an important element.  But, any guy can improve his conversation skills to the point where they can transcend a deficiency in his looks.

#4- “I never have anything interesting to say…”

Guys often let nervousness and anxiety affect their conversations with women. The end result is their mind goes blank and they have trouble thinking of things to say.

The truth is we ALL have interesting things to say!  But sometimes, it takes a little coaxing to get them out.

A technique I recommend to my readers is to cultivate a unique personality through the art of storytelling.  Women are strongly attracted to things like health, status, adventure, leadership, wealth, and preselection.

When you craft a story from your own life, with these traits in mind, you’ll have plenty of material to use when there’s a lull in the conversation.

#5- “Some guys are just naturally successful with women…”

This self limiting belief is another personal favorite.  A lot of guys think there’s no way they can change their success with women.  What they don’t know is this is an area of their life that is like any other skill.  It involves a process that’s easily learnable and predictable.

Think of it this way.  Everything you’ve learned in your life started out as something you didn’t know how to do.  Only through learning and practicing were you able turn it into a skill.

Learning how to attract women is the same way!  With the right kind of information, you can easily become proficient at meeting interesting girls.

#6- “I have no confidence around women”

A lack of confidence is common among single men.  What’s unfortunate is this is the one quality that’s incredibly unattractive to women.  So, in order to improve your success with women, you must overcome the notion that you can’t be confident when meeting a new girl.

Confidence comes from competence in a skill. In the last belief, I discussed how you can improve your success simply through learning and practice.  As you work on your “dating skills”, you’ll discover it’s easy to dramatically improve your self-esteem.  While you might feel that you lack confidence now, this is something that can be easily fixed through repeated success!

#7- “I’ll start tomorrow, or maybe next week…”

This belief is the creed of all serial procrastinators.  Almost every single guy in the world feels he’s missing something in his life.  Some might say they want to make a change.  But most of the time, they’ll put off doing something about it.

If you want success with women, then it’s time to do something about it.  Don’t delay. Do something right NOW!  Even the simple step of writing down a plan of action can have a dramatic effect on your dating life.  The only thing that’s holding you back is allowing limited thinking to prevent you from making a change!

Self limiting beliefs can restrict your success.  When you allow negative thought patterns to be in control, the opportunities to date quality women will be quickly diminished.

Here’s some simple advice.  ANY time you experience one of the negative thoughts I’ve just described, immediately challenge it!  You’ll discover that the simple act of working through your self-talk will have an immediate effect on your success with women.

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Everyone has had their run-ins with “hard to get” guys and girls and sometimes asking them out is a heck of a lot easier said than done. If you’ve got someone special that you just can’t take your eyes off of but your lips seem glued together whenever they come around, we’ve got a few things that will make it a little less stressful for you to actually ask them out.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

There is a girl I love.  But I am to shy to even talk to her and I want to ask her out but I don’t really now how.

– Georgis, Alberta

Recognize the Fear of Rejection and Kick It to the Curb

The biggest reason people don’t ask out their crushes is that they fear getting rejected.  Rejection sucks.  It hurts – everyone knows that.  Sometimes it is difficult for people to grasp that rejection does not shape who they are and in no way does it put a sign on your forehead that says “not good enough.”

First and foremost, you need to know that you are okay just the way you are.  Other people don’t decide that you’re okay – you do.  You need to come to terms with the fact that you’re you and you’re fine how you are – no one can change that, rejection or no rejection.  When you come to terms with that, you’ll be confident enough to approach anyone without the sweat beading up on your forehead and your knees turning into Jell-O.

Making the Approach

Almost every girl (or guy, really) will say, “No” if you walk up to them and introduce yourself by asking them out.  Hard as it is to believe, that really is the way it works.  Even the smoothest pick-up lines will not work.

So now that we’ve thrown your entire foundation for dating out the window, we’re going to share with you how to really pick up your crush.

Let them get to know you in a normal, pressure-free way.

You’ve heard about how people meet through being friends and it turns into this wonderful relationship, right?  That’s honestly the best way to go about it – building a relationship on friendship creates bonds that last a long, long time.  So let your crush get to know you before asking them out.  Ask them for help or their opinion about something and strike up a conversation.  When you’ve got a pretty good footing you can transition the friendship into something more.

Getting Rejected

Yes, rejection is a possibility.  You need to know that a lot of the time, it has nothing to do with you.  For example, if you approach your crush and they have just failed a test, broken up with their girlfriend or boyfriend or had some other mood altering life event, you’re probably going to get rejected and it won’t be your fault in the least.

It’s also okay if you are flat out rejected.  Remember that part about you being okay no matter what?  Play that card and you’ll feel a lot better.  If you get rejected, nothing will happen.  The floor won’t turn into a spinning vortex and suck you in, destroying your life as you know it.  You’ll go home and everything will be the same as it was before you asked your crush out.  So take the chance and keep trying until you find that special someone.

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(And you have to be honest with me here!)

Is meeting women hard for you to do?  Do you feel afraid when it comes to meeting women?

And is that fear keeping you from succeeding and keeping you lonely and alone?

If so, don’t worry. I’m going to give you some incredible bits of advice you can use that will help you meet great women, and help you to take control of your love life and overcome your fear!

It’s not all about instinct

Meeting women should be a piece of cake. After all, that’s what you’re biologically programmed for, right? Nope!

Despite what you might think and what others may tell you, the fact is that us men are not born already knowing how to naturally meet and attract women.  (Believe me, I wish that WAS the case, but its not, unfortunately.)

Knowing how to meet women is something you LEARN, not something you’re “born with.” Just like any skill, you have to LEARN how to meet and talk to women, just like you have to learn to speak Spanish, play the guitar, and recite your A-B-C’s.

It’s a SKILL. And skills are learned, not instinctual.

No worries…help is on the way!

So if you currently don’t know how to meet women, don’t worry, there is NOTHING wrong with you!  You just haven’t learned enough to make meeting women something that’s comfortable and easy yet.

Sadly, there are tons and tons of men out there who are too afraid to meet women, and because of that they stay home alone over the weekend when they should be out meeting girls.

And even worse – most of these guys will never do anything to overcome this fear.

This is due to the fact that these men don’t realize just how much their lives are controlled by this fear!  And they justify this fear of going out and meeting women by thinking of all the things that could go wrong.

Some guys have such a dim view of themselves as attractive men that they think a girl they’re interested in is going to laugh at them, or dismiss them, or tell them off. Maybe she’ll throw her drink in their face, or maybe they’ll get beaten up by her boyfriend!

Never think the worst

Do you ever think of these as possibilities before you meet a girl? Because if you do, then you are actually TRAINING yourself to be scared and take no action to meet women.

In short: You are practicing FAILURE.

The fact is – most of these irrational fears you’re worried about hardly ever happen in real life.

All these fears stem from poor experiences you may have had when you were young (junior high or middle school age) or you picked them off of television or movies and think they could actually apply to your real life.

It’s sad that so many men allow fears like these to shape their attitudes and beliefs about meeting and dating women.

In contrast, there are other men out there who were fortunate enough to have positive experiences with girls early on in their development.  These experiences helped banish irrational fears about meeting women, which helped set them up for a lot of success with women as they got older.

It’s never too late

But even if you started off on the wrong foot in seventh grade, you can still take control of your fears of meeting women. You don’t have to be in high school to become a superstar with the ladies!

What you need to start doing right now is re-learn how to talk to women, and you’ll have to be willing to re-examine your current beliefs and attitudes that might be holding you back from success and change them to make meeting women easier.

But that’s difficult for most guys to do. It’s no problem to say you want to learn how to meet women easily, but it’s doing the work that’s the hardest part.

You need to want it  badly enough!

Don’t let fear hold you back

Don’t be one of those guys who lets fear keep him from meeting the type of woman he’s always dreamed about. If you see a girl you want to meet – say SOMETHING.  Even if you don’t know what to say, just take a chance.

Try these 5 tips for meeting women

1. Ask her for directions.
2. Ask for her opinion on something.
3. Playfully tease her about something she’s wearing or something she’s doing. At least make an effort to take an interest in her and be curious about who she is as a person.
4. Pay her a genuine and sincere compliment!  What do you have to lose?
5. Quickly figure out something to talk to her about – exact words aren’t as important as the act of walking over to her and engaging her in conversation.  If you let too much time pass by from the second you see her to the time you start talking, you give yourself a chance to chicken out.  (If this freaks you out, memorize some good opening lines beforehand so you’ll know what to say.)

Don’t try and measure success based on if you got her phone number or a date.

Just the simple act of approaching a woman and talking to her makes you a winner, because you did something that 80% of the other men out there wouldn’t have done!

And the more you can do that, the greater your chances of meeting that one special woman.

To find out more, sign up for Joseph Matthew’s free Meet Women Secrets newsletter for all the most recent tips and methods for meeting and seducing women.

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Of course, meeting a woman and getting from that initial “hello” to the exchange of phone numbers and plans for a meal can be a little bit tricky.  You don’t want to rush things, but you don’t want to let her get away, either.

Here are a few tips on how to meet women in book stores.

#1.  Visit a large bookstore.

A mall bookstore or a small store might be right on your way somewhere, but it generally isn’t a good place to meet women.  Small bookstores are cramped, usually over flowing with product and the sales people are tripping over you every couple of minutes as they offer customer service to the other customers.

If the store is busy, you can forget about even being able to approach the woman who caught your eye.  Too many people will manage to get in your way and by the time you get to where she was standing, she will have moved on to a new location.

Instead opt for browsing at one of the larger bookstores like Barnes and Nobles or Borders.  These stores are famous for their wide aisles, their comfortable chairs and their coffee shops.

#2. Stick to what you know

Don’t try to impress women who are reading books from sections that you normally wouldn’t set foot in.  If you are into anime and she is reading the newest tome from Dr. Phil, you might not have much luck in finding a good conversation starter.  If you look in the sections that you normally shop in, you have a built in way to start a conversation.

You can either mention what you’ve thought about the book she’s looking at or ask her if she might be able to recommend something since you can see that she reads the same books you do.

Obviously you could do this in another section as well, but it is risky—especially if she asks you what other books in that section you have read.

#3. Approach a wanderer

It is better to approach someone who is wandering around and looking at the shelves than it is to approach someone who is already sitting down and reading through a book.  If she looks like she is very into what she is reading, it is best to leave her alone.

You don’t want to start the relationship by annoying her in the middle of a good book, do you?  Plus, if you talk to a woman who is already browsing, you have the built in conversation starters discussed in #2.  Of course, if stops reading to look at you, you can assume that it is okay to approach her.

#4. Take the conversation somewhere else

Move the conversation into an area better suited for conversation—the coffee shop.  This is why you are in the bigger bookstore—it’s coffee shop.  If you have managed to strike up a conversation with an interesting woman, it is easy to move it from the book section over to the coffee shop.

All you have to do is either turn like you are about to start walking to see if she will walk with you or, if you are feeling bold, simply say “I definitely want to keep talking about this, but I don’t want to disturb the other shoppers.

Can I buy you a cup of coffee over in the café?”  And with that simple question you have moved from “picking up” the woman to your first date.

#5. Make your move

At some point you are going to have to decide if you would like to talk to this woman again and if she doesn’t ask you for your phone number or initiate plans for another get together, it is going to be up to you to get things started.  It might be up to you anyway as some women still wait for the man to make the first move.

If the coffee cups are empty and you aren’t even talking about books anymore, it is time to make a plan to see her again and ask for her phone number.

These are just five simple tips you can keep in mind if you are trying to figure out a way to meet women at the bookstore.  The best advice we can give you is to keep it simple.  Just remember to be yourself because trying to be somebody that you are not can back fire on you very quickly in a bookstore setting.

To find out more, sign up for Joseph Matthew’s free Meet Women Secrets newsletter for all the most recent tips and methods for meeting and seducing women.

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Gone are the days when people would ask “what’s a cappuccino” These days people argue over what ingredients are supposed to be in a Macchiato and which ingredients are not.

Since you probably spend a good portion of your day waiting in line at your local coffee shop, you have probably spent some time thinking about whether or not it is a place in which you can meet women.  Here is the good news:  It is possible to meet women in coffee shops!

It is even possible to meet women in coffee shops and get them to meet you again—in someplace that doesn’t smell like Sumatra.  Here are some tips to help you meet women in coffee shops.

Be Gracious

If she is having trouble deciding what to order from the menu and turns to apologize, always be gracious.  She is probably feeling very embarrassed.  If she is truly sorry you can offer to help her decide what to order.  Sentences like “I come here all the time, what were you thinking of ordering? I can tell you if it’s good or not,” are good openers.

This can work in the opposite situation.  If you can’t make up your mind, you can ask the woman behind you what kind of coffee drinks she likes and then you have the bonus option of buying her coffee “to make up for taking so long to decide.

Be Cautious

If she is alone and reading or writing in a journal, approach with caution.  People like to do these things without being interrupted, even if they are in the middle of a busy and noisy coffee shop.  This rule can be voided if there aren’t any empty tables to claim for yourself.

If she looks up from her book a lot, a good way to meet her is to ask what she is reading and what she thinks of it.  Be honest when she asks if you have read it or have read other books like it.  Lying about what you read will come back and bite you later.

Be Polite

When you are standing next to a woman at the sugar stand, you can ask her to pass you something—you can easily play it off as being polite—you didn’t want to get in her way.  Politeness goes a long way with women.  The same is true for if she is reaching for something closer to your side of the stand.  Grab it for her with a simple “here you go.”  And the conversation can go from there.

Be Bold

If you are feeling bold, you can always sit down next to her table and if she is having a conversation with someone, you can interject your own opinion and then join in the conversation.  This is something with which you should be cautious.

Not all groups of people are going to want to open up their conversation to the person at the next table, and if she is with a group of women, you need to be extra careful.

Be Helpful

If you are walking toward the trash can or the bussing station with your coffee cup, walk past her table and offer to take her empty coffee cup up with yours.  Then, when you go back by her table, you can pause for a chat.

Be Complimentary

If the woman you want to talk to is working at the coffee shop as the Barista, always compliment her on the coffee—even if she just poured it from a carafe.  This simple compliment when followed by a thank you will go a long way.

If you are shy, you can make a habit of going to that coffee shop while she is working.  Eventually you will be familiar enough with each other that a conversation will happen all on its own.  Toe this line carefully, though.  The line between “fun regular customer” and “creepy stalker guy” is a fine one and easy to cross.

Coffee shops can be intimidating places, even for men who are not trying to meet women there.  The good news is it is possible to meet women in a coffee shop.  You just have to be a little bit creative and a lot brave and, in many cases, you have to initiate the conversation.

To find out more, sign up for Joseph Matthews’ free Meet Women Secrets newsletter for all the most recent tips and methods for meeting and seducing women.

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Have no fear!  All you need to do is follow a few simple methods to help you get the woman of your dreams!

Do you want to go out and pick up a woman tonight, but have no clue where to start?

Most of your friends probably don’t know how to pick up women. Your dad probably doesn’t know (and lord knows your mom couldn’t tell you)!

Even the dating “experts” that you see in the media wouldn’t be able to give you the proper tactics on how to pick up women, because if they did -they’d never be able to appear on TV again! (Let’s face it, the mainstream media is extremely feminist and looks down upon anything that could help guys get laid!).

Bottom line: Picking up women is not a politically-correct topic!

You want some practical advice that can really work, that you can start to use right away. Fortunately, you found this article. So let’s get started!

What You DON’T Need

First off – here’s what you DON’T need to pick up women.

You DON’T need to be “male model” good looking.

This is the biggest mistake men make.  You have to realize that close to 85% of women care more about how a man makes them FEEL, rather than how he actually LOOKS. So if you don’t think you’re a very attractive guy, don’t worry! There’s still hope for you.

Next, you DON’T have to drive a fancy car, or spend a lot of money! Quite a few of the best Pickup Artists I’ve ever known spend $30 or less when they go out on dates, and more than one of them doesn’t even own a car!  (And the ones that do don’t drive anything special!)

You’ll find that women can be very forgiving when it comes to how much money you make or spend on them, if they LIKE you! And part of picking up women is to get the girl to like you, right?

Finally, you DON’T have to be famous, be a certain type of ethnicity or nationality, or anything else you can think of. The secret is to have a great personality – this will make any other obstacle you think you have to getting a girl to like you obsolete!  If you know the proper way to interact with women, nothing else matters.

Skyrocket to Success

Unless you’re already on the verge of becoming a master pick up artist, you’re probably not going to have phenomenal success right away using these tips and tactics. But if you apply these and other tactics over a period of time and learn from your experiences, you’ll find your success with women will skyrocket! In order to learn the quickest, you’ll want to go out as often as you can – particularly when you’re first starting.

You don’t have to go to nightclubs or other high-pressure environments to meet women, but they are great “practice grounds” because there are SO MANY women there to meet and talk to. Despite where you choose to go, you need to set aside some time every day to go out and pick up women – you’ll get better the more times you do it! When you’re first starting, you might not have a whole lot of success with the ladies.  But over time, as your experience builds, your confidence will grow.  Every success and failure you have is a learning experience meant to make you better at picking up women.

And Remember…

Remember: The more experience you have, the easier it’ll be.

The most important thing to remember about going out to pick up women is to gain experience! When you do go out to gain this valuable experience with the ladies, try and look as good as you possibly can! (Notice here that I’m not saying you have to be “good looking.”  I’m saying you need to “look good.”  There is a big difference between the two.  You don’t have any say about what you look like, but you DO have a say in your appearance – your hairstyle, the clothes you wear, what cologne you put on, etc.)

Look the Part

Dress for success: Wear clothing that fits you, that’s color-coordinated and looks good on you. If you have fashion-conscious friends who can help you pick out a wardrobe (particularly if they’re women), now’s the time to recruit them. It’s true that you don’t need fancy threads to meet girls, but why not make it easier by wearing nice clothes, why wouldn’t you do it? Besides, looking good will also make you feel more confident!

Be on the lookout for opportunities to do pickup. You can find attractive women just about anywhere. And if you notice that she’s given you the eye, it would almost be a sin not to start talking to her!

The Steps

Finally, every good pick-up follows a structure. Its a series of steps you can actually REPEAT time and time again and get similar results. Here’s the structure:

1. Find the girl.
2. Meet her.
3. Talk and Gain Rapport.
4. Build Attraction.

These four simple steps is all you need!  You’ll find that if you can just meet the women you want and gain rapport with them, you’ll easily be able to build attraction with them too.

To find out more, sign up for Joseph Matthew’s free Meet Women Secrets newsletter for all the most recent tips and methods for meeting and seducing women.

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Most guys think that women like ‘bad’ boys so they try to portray this image and simply end up looking like a jerk. What a woman really wants is a man who will keep her interest, has great confidence, who is not afraid to stand out, and is not afraid to disagree with the status quo – A guy who is comfortable in his own skin…

Here’s a great article on approaching women from David Wygant, one of today’s most popular and successful dating coaches. David is not a ‘pick up artist’, but a real dating coach who offers good solid advice that actually works. In this article, he talks about some of the biggest mistakes that almost all men make when approaching women and how you can avoid them and actually capture her attention and create a real spark.

Most men think that they need a clever line to approach a woman, which in some cases may garner a reaction. But through all my years of coaching men and women I have found that it is not what you say that’s important, but how you approach.

Most women put more importance on visual clues to assess a man’s character. They don’t care what you say as long as you say it without hesitation and with authority. Unfortunately, most men don’t know this, so they walk over and approach a woman like a wounded animal expecting to be rejected.

When you approach like a wounded animal you will be rejected every single time no matter how clever of a line or remark you may have. Sound familiar?

With eighty percent of human interaction based on non-verbal body language, what is a man to do?

The key to impressing her right off the bat is you need to be different than all other men that are approaching her that evening in the bar or lounge. It is really competitive at night, and most women will start to lose interest in men after a few jerks have hit on them, so you need to learn to use a few of these tips to make you stand out from the crowd of drunk testosterone-laden men.

Here a few sure-fire ways to make your approach more powerful and convincing even if you are not sure what you are going to say:

1. When you see a woman that you are attracted to you need to walk right over.

Stand up straight and walk over slowly but with confidence. Make sure your chest is puffed out and your posture is looking strong and not slumped over. You need to keep eye contact as you approach so you do not spook her. You also need to walk directly over to her without any hesitation.

With practice, you will get comfortable doing this. Most men linger in the background like a scared animal for a period of time before they approach. When they finally do approach, the woman is quick to turn her back on him. The reason is he did not exude confidence.

Most women notice who is observing them. When you do not approach within seconds of spotting her you might as well go home and get your game on for another night or day.

2. When out on the town, avoid being seen with the drunken testosterone pack of males.

One of the biggest turn-offs for women is the “male pack” — you with five of your buddies high-fiving each other, drinking and checking out other women. Yes, women make note of this childlike behavior and when you approach them with your buddies waiting on the sideline they will impulsively reject you in front of the pack to avoid being scrutinized later. You need to break away from the male pack and find one other guy who is like you to go out on the town with.

Save the male bonding and excessive testosterone for a sports bar.

3. Dress in clothing that gives you a strong appearance.

Make sure you’re not sabotaging your efforts with your attire. Following the steps above will fall short of projecting great body language if you are wearing a pair of baggy khakis and ratty sneakers out at night. If you look like a slob it will not matter what your body language says because you will look like every other man who put no thought into what he was going to wear that night to attract women.

Start buying clothing that makes you stand out from the rest of the men. Find a cool pair of jeans and some great shirts that give you an edge so when you walk into a bar or lounge with the right body language women will see you. When you are dressed the part, women will give you a double take and follow your every move. Keep in mind shoes are really important too, so find a few pairs that look great on you.

4. After you walk over you need to create a spark within her.

Most men’s conversation will center on being agreeable and non-confrontational in the hope that she likes him. The key word here is “hope” — That is the mindset of the average man. They are so jazzed that she is actually speaking with him, so they play it safe and hope that she likes him.

In the mind of a woman, playing it safe equals boring!

So you need to spark her interest by being a bit disagreeable. For example, you get into the conversation about summer movies and she says that Spiderman III was her favorite Spidey movie so far. The typical male would agree with her even if his opinion is that the first Spiderman was superior. Instead of being agreeable, you would look her right in the eye with confidence and tell her that she is so wrong — the first Spiderman was superior. Then proceed to tell her why you think so. This will create a fun, friendly, flirtateous verbal sparring which will create a spark in her brain.

She will realize that you are not a pushover like most men and attraction will start to form in her head.

5. Maintain some tension after you meet.

Flirting with women is all about gathering information, so the better listener you are, the more you will know about her. So when you call her you will have many things to speak with her about. What I like to do is, before I call I think about everything she said and then I pick the most juicy topic or opinion and challenge her with it.

For example, going back to the example of Spiderman III, I would text her the next day and challenge her with this text:
I was thinking U & I need 2 re-watch Spiderman. U R so wrong. Name the time & place & I’ll bring the DVD.

By challenging her, you are bringing her back to a moment of tension that she shared with you. She will immediately respond to the challenge and text you back. You have just learned the secret of re-creating the tension that you shared with her plus you are being totally unlike every other guy who waits three days to call her and schedule a predictable dinner date.

The secret to capturing her attention and creating that spark is do not be like everyone else. Follow the above tips and you will become the alpha male that women desire.

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We’re always seeing seduction and pick up advice from the same well known faces in the Seduction Community. From David DeAngelo, to Zan, Mystery, Jason Matthews, and many others. Do you see the pattern yet? They’re all GUYS!

They tell us how to approach women, how to get their phone numbers, and how to get them to go out on a date. They even tell us how to get those hot one night stands that some guys are crazy about.

We think it’s about time to get that advice straight from a woman – the object of your search.

You ARE trying to get a woman to go out with you, aren’t you?

Why not find out from her what’s really going on behind her pretty blue eyes… what she’s thinking about you as you first walk into the room, why she can’t get rid of some guys fast enough when they come up to her… That kind of information is priceless.

Imagine getting the lowdown from the other side… what it’s like being a woman and having ALL THOSE GUYS hitting on you.

Here’s our review of Tiffany Taylor’s excellent insider guide to the fairer sex – Guy Gets Girl. In reality, it’s more of a strategic and tactical plan than a “book”, but anyway.

It’s also worth noting that Guy Gets Girl is the first and only step-by-step pickup, dating, and seduction guide available written for men… By a Woman.

“How To Approach Any Woman, Anywhere And Know Exactly What To Say To Get Her To Give You Her Number And Go On A Date With You – NOW”

You’ll want to read all the way to end of this post so that you don’t miss a single great idea.

Tiffany’s promise is a pretty tall order, but from everything we’ve read, I’d say she delivers.

After all, it’s not about fancy pickup lines, sleazy hypnosis tricks, and all kinds of other less than honest stuff. At the core, what matters is being confident and understanding that woman that you’re approaching… understanding what she wants, what she’s looking for, her true desires.

That’s what matters and what will get you that date.

Tiffany also tells you how any nice guy can get practically any girl he wants, IF he knows what the lady is really looking for. Overall jerks don’t hold a candle to nice guys, but beware – nice guys who don’t know what they’re doing often end up in the “friend zone”.

She also tells you where to find great available women, even if you’re not into dance clubs and the traditional singles scene.

And how about three different ways to approach a woman and immediately get on her good graces. Really, it can be that simple if your timing is right.

Her motives

Guess what… every person on this earth has a reason for everything they do. Many reasons are friendly and completely noble, and others are selfish misguided. Women are no different than men in this respect – pay close attention to what they say, what they’re asking you about, how they act, act. and you’ll always know where things are headed.

Flirting – the good, the bad, and the ugly

What you should say and when to get her affections, but especially what NOT to do when flirting unless you want to scare her off…

The first date

Learn the 4 best places to take a girl on a date, to guarantee you’ll see her again. They don’t even cost as much as a meal at a cheap restaurant, but they are infinitely more enjoyable for her!

A 3 step formula for planning that crucial first date, to ensure she’ll not only go out with you, but keep going out with you, but keep you after that date.

What to talk about on your first date. Some great conversation starters, and what topics to avoid, or else.

Reading her signals – how to know if she’s ready to take the next step.

The first kiss – how to know when she’s ready to be kissed, and when she ISN’T.

The one night stand

There are many reasons you may not want to do this, but in case you do, there’s a good section describing how to get her in the mood, how to read the signals, where to go, and what to do next. Also how to separate with no hard feelings after the sex, and how to ensure you’ll be able to do it again if you choose.

Sex tactics

The key here again is understanding what women truly need and want… how to romance her and get her in the mood every time, why foreplay is so important if you want to have sex with her again, etc.

Also, the one mistake guys generally make that puts the freeze on any sexual activity for the evening and beyond.

And of course, knowing when to throw in the towel. Sometimes it just isn’t working out, no matter how much you want it to. But you MUST know when and how you should break it off, so that you can still stay friends. Get this wrong and you could end up with a lot of problems.

Is she the one?

How to know if she’s really the one for you, even if you think you’re sure one way or the other.

Approaching – what to do and say that will boost your chances of getting the girl

Ponder these questions…

1. Do you just walk right up to her, or is there a “right moment” to approach?
2. If she’s with friends, how can you use her friends to your advantage?
3. Once you get her talking, how do you break the awkward silence?

And find out how to get her real number, and not end up with a bogus one.

Asking her out

How long do you need to wait before calling her, and what should you say to really keep her interested? Most guys get this completely wrong, which is why they can’t ever seem to get that ever elusive second date.

A word of warning

Although the material is thorough and the ideas are very insightful and well thought out, we do have a strong concern with this guide. Guy Gets Girl comes with an additional bonus guide entitled Advanced Psychological Techniques.

We are not fond of using psychological triggers and similar seduction tactics to approach women, get a date, etc.

It is your choice if you want to use the advanced psychological seduction tactics in this book, but be warned. While you may be virtually guaranteed to get her phone number, get a date, get a one night stand… honesty is the most important factor in a relationship. Eventually she will get to know the real you, and you could be in trouble.

So the short version is this: use the advanced psychological seduction tactics at your own risk. This guide has a lot of great information, but use it wisely.

Overall we highly recommend this book.

Download your copy right now before you get busy and forget. Then go out and walk up to the girl of your dreams, and score a date with her.

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There is this girl at my church that I think might like me. Every time I get a chance to say something to her I don’t because I’m really shy. What can I say or do to break the ice?

The Answer:

The challenge here is that you really like her and really want her to like you. And that’s the problem. That wanting translates into fear – fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of being alone.

STOP! Let’s go through this together so you will be able to approach her with ease the next time you see her.

She’s a regular person, just like you

Don’t put her on a pedestal just because you like her. This is one of the biggest mistakes men make with women, which is why they strike out so often.

Remember, she’s a regular person, just like you. So, treat her that way. Be nice, friendly, and most of all, confident in yourself. You wouldn’t be shy talking to one of your guy friends or a girl that you have no interest in, right?

So treat her like that – just one of your friends.

Men and women aren’t nearly as different as we all like to believe. At the end of the day we’re all people with needs, feelings, hopes, dreams, etc. We all need friends, companionship, and so on.

How can you tell if she likes you?

When you talk with her, notice how you feel. Do you feel like you WANT her to like you, or do you feel that she DOES like you? Is there a strong surge of energy, a magical spark between the two of you? Down deep, you’ll know if she really likes you.

You can feel it. Trust your gut.

Warning. Many guys make a big deal about asking a girl if she likes them. Don’t ever do that. You’ll put her on the spot and she’ll have to choose without getting to know you first. It’s like deciding if you want to buy a car without ever sitting in it.

The key here is confidence and belief in you. Listen for what’s in your heart, not for what you want to be there. If you’re too nervous to even talk without stuttering, then you won’t be able to read your gut feelings.  So it’s very important to get a grip on yourself and just relax.

What if she turns you down?…

Before you approach any woman, tell yourself that it’s perfectly OK if she doesn’t go out with you. Heck, it’s perfectly fine if she doesn’t like you at all. Your life will be no different than it is now, but you will have more experience in approaching women. That’s it.

Read this over and over until you get it: You have absolutely nothing to lose.

Lots of men get their egos crushed because a really hot girl won’t go out with them.

Well, guess what? Fact is there are hundreds of reasons why she may not want to go out with you – or with anyone else for that matter.

She could be in a committed relationship, could be a lesbian, could be grieving a loss of some sort, could be having her time of the month, could be having a bad day for any other number of reasons, etc.

Or, you simply may not be her type. And that’s OK too. Wouldn’t you agree that’s it’s better to know up front?

With all that put together, assuming that you are her type, you have a 20% chance (at best) of succeeding when you approach a woman. That’s life, deal with it. This bears repeating. At any given time, a woman may not be interested in any man whatsoever. Accept that and go on. It’s just a fact of life.

The key point here is not to take it personally and go hide in the closet. Follow your heart and approach all the women you feel attracted to. You will find one, or more, that you really click with. Have fun and don’t take life so seriously.

How to approach her – the magical ice breaker

Now that we’re past that, it’s time to actually move in. She’s not going to know you like her if she doesn’t know you exist. So let’s get on with it.

Simply go talk to her.

There’s no magic to it. Just go over there and make some small talk. Don’t be overly eager and don’t have a firm agenda. Just say hello and see what happens.

Let her feel you out.

Think of two dogs when they first meet – they growl a little and spend lots of time sniffing each other. People do the same thing really… it’s all about getting a feel for the other person. We like to think we’re more evolved than lower animals like dogs, but they actually have a lot to teach us. I’ve yet to ever meet a person that’s as pure at heart as a dog…

Ask her out – leaving the “Friend Zone”

At some point you’re going to have to make your move and depart the friend zone. Now, this may not be in the first minute or two, and maybe not even the first time you talk to her. The key here again is self confidence. You’ll also need a little patience.

Take your time and feel it out first. Don’t make her choose until you know she’s comfortable enough with you to give you a chance and you’re comfortable enough to take the chance.

Now, on the sex and physical attraction issue…

Most guys assume that men and women want drastically different things, and sex is something that’s to be won over from the woman – like a special gift. Wrong! That’s a very dangerous perspective which will leave you doing the sex thing all by yourself for a long time.

Many years ago my father gave me a bit of insight on this. He said “she wants it just as much as you do”. In my early teens that nugget didn’t really do much for me. But as I grew into an adult, that advice took on special meaning. It’s important to remember that women want and need companionship (and yes, even sex) just as much as men do.

Love yourself – guys read this section, it’s for you

Decide today to love and embrace yourself. Yes, even as a guy, you can still love and embrace who you are. In fact, guys are notorious for self loathing and not appreciating themselves.

Guess what?

As any good salesman will tell you, if you don’t believe in yourself and in what you’re selling, nobody’s going to buy from you. If you don’t love yourself and don’t think highly of yourself, nobody else will either. Guaranteed.

So get over the self punishing and self loathing and decide to change your life today. Yes, you.

Need some help going up to her or asking her out?

For advice on how to approach a woman and ask her out, let’s get some advice from some of the experts in the pick up and seduction community.

Download and read this helpful guide to approaching women:

• Guy Gets Girl – a Pickup, Dating And Seduction Guide written for men… By a woman!

This guide will help you increase your confidence so you can approach women more easily and get better results.

A word of warning. Some of the advice from the seduction and approaching experts involves psychological and hypnosis tricks to get women to want you, to trust you, to open up to you, etc.

But always remember to be yourself, because while many of these tricks will get you that hot girl for the night, they won’t get you a real girlfriend. In the end she’s going to see you for who you really are and you’re better off getting her to like the real you from the beginning.

In summary

• Don’t put her on a pedestal – treat her like a regular person.
• Be nice, friendly, and open.
• Approach her… Yes, you will have to do this eventually.
• Talk to her about something, anything. It’s not about what you say; it’s how you say it.
• Download the Guy Gets Girl guide for a confidence boost on approaching her and asking her out.
• Now go for it! Onward – no fear.

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