Developing equilibrium between tension and relaxation during sexual intercourse is a key issue. But is it really possible to be both tensed up and relaxed simultaneously?

Tension Makes Orgasms Possible

Muscle contraction is the kind of tautness that helps women orgasm (scientifically known as ‘myotonia’). Many females who don’t have orgasms are under the wrong perception that they just have to lay there and relax. They have heard about the importance of being relaxed during sex but what they fail to realize is that tension in the muscles is very often just as important when it comes to reaching a climax.

A lot of females have reported to having been able to reach and orgasm by tensing certain areas of their bodies. Some contract their abdominal, leg and buttock muscles. Some have even reported success while also contracting their feet muscles. Even upper body tensing has been noted to have helped women achieve an orgasm at one point or the other.

In fact, the number of women who reach an orgasm with no muscle tension at all is very small. Incidentally, muscle tautness that happen in the lower pelvis play a very important part in being able to reach a climax. You see, during an orgasm the muscles that contract automatically are the same that need to be squeezed to discontinue the stream of pee mid-flow.

The group of muscles involved here are the pubococcygeus muscle group (PC muscles) and their conscious contraction is known as a Kegel exercise. To build up arousal while engaging in sexual exploits, many women tense these PC muscles. Tensing or contracting the various muscle groups pushes blood in to the parts of the body active during sex. (The flow of blood to the groin needs to be increased to initiate arousal.)

All this talk about muscle tension surely makes one ask where the relaxation phase comes into the picture!

Relaxing Your Mind

The answer to this question is this: relaxation occurs in the mind. Relaxation during sexual activities means that you should stop worrying or thinking about anything else. Just try to be in the moment and FEEL each pleasure that washes over your body as your lover titillates you.

If you’re having problems emptying your mind and relaxing, apply the “silent radio technique”. This is the same technique that is used in post offices and public areas where long lines form. They help keep hostility low despite the long wait that people have to undergo. It can be visualized as the Times Square board sign where words stream across a screen from the left to the right and then fade away from the screen. The screens usually carry items like news highlights, horoscopes and sports.

While the above mentioned technique is being used during sex, you may find that the repetition of a mantra like “I can stay in this pleasurable state for hours,” or “this feels fantastic!” in your mental silent radio helps in keeping your mind occupied with thoughts that foster arousal instead of entertaining thoughts that decrease arousal.

A very important aspect to learning how to be more orgasmic involves these two factors that may look contradictory but make a large difference when used together in helping the sexual process reach its desired outcome.

Take just a minute to check out ‘Faster Female Orgasm’: “How To Reach Orgasm During Intercourse In Just 5 Minutes (Or Less)”

Related articles:

1. Female Orgasm Tip #1 – Why Relaxation Is Crucial (Video)
2. 5 Little Known Female Orgasm Secrets
3. For Ladies Only: Can’t Reach Orgasm? Here’s A Secret…
4. 4 Reasons Why Female Orgasms Are So Hard To Achieve
5. Is Your Woman Faking Her Orgasms?

If you’re yet to partake of this area’s magic, you must have heard the stories regarding the g-spot, a sensual area that is found in the interior part of your womanhood that can create mind-blowing orgasms when stimulated properly. On the other hand, this spot can be a source of frustration because many women are yet to find this elusive zone. While the g-spot concept is not a new phenomenon, considering that researchers have talked about it for a long time, the medical fraternity has always been hesitant to affirm its actual presence in women.

Well, I have some exciting news for you. The g-spot, or the Grafenberg spot, is a reality and you have acknowledged access to it, according to biopsies and MRI scans carried out by doctors.

Read on below for a ‘guided tour’ to your g-spot and trust us, you will discover it. After the discovery, I’ll proceed to explain to you how to handle it for maximum pleasure.

What is the G-spot, Anyway?

The actual size of the gspot is a contentious issue. The size can be anything from 1/4 of an inch to 2 inches and it is found on your vagina’s upper wall, approximately one inch or two away from the opening of your vagina. Beneath it is an extremely sensitive amount of tissue that responds sexually to the right kind of touch, as explained by Debby Herbenick, PhD from Indiana University Bloomington’s School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation. The sensation felt in the g-spot are sometimes described as deeper than those felt as a result of clitoral stimulation. The feeling is explained as a warm, glowing feeling that can be felt in the entire woman’s body.

Some experts who have always been aware of this spot’s existence were previously unsure regarding what the g-spot exactly is. They tried to establish whether the spot is a distinctive gland or a mere group of nerve endings that extend from the clitoral bottom part. Researches are clear about this: The g-spot is an independent unit, comparable to a male organ. It is referred to as our version of the prostate because its tissues are in an area whose chemicals are the same as those that are produced by male prostate glands that make sperm nourishing fluid, says Dr. Goldstein.

The g-spot and male prostate are also similar in terms of what women feel when the g-spot is stimulated. Some women report that they feel wetness that is beyond what they experience with other forms of stimulation. Some even say that they produce a clear fluid, which has no odor upon reaching climax.

Where to Find the G-Spot

Take a deep breath, lie down and relax. Your first attempt to find your g-spot will probably require patience. Begin by keeping your legs apart and bend your knees. This opens up your vagina and provides easy access to it. Face your palm upwards and place 2 fingers inside your vagina while pressing the tips of your fingers against the central part of the upper wall of the vagina. “You are looking for a springy, furrowed or slightly uneven area, similar to the upper part of your mouth,” Celeste Hirschman of the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality, explains.

If you are unsuccessful after numerous attempts, fill your mind with sexual fantasies or thoughts. When you become turned on, the g-spot will be filled with fluid and this will cause it to swell and increase in size. “It will be easier for you to find it when you are aroused.”

A strange notification that you have located it is a strong urge to urinate. “The g-spot is located next to the urethra and when you touch it; you will feel the need to urinate”, clinical director Bat Sheva Marcus, PhD explains.

Carry out continuous experiments by yourself with the use of varying levels of speed and pressure. Do not be alarmed if you feel yourself getting closer to an orgasm. You don’t have to resist the feeling; just allow yourself to enjoy an extremely intense gspot orgasm by yourself before you get the chance to explain to your man what it will take to reach that point.

Show Your Lover Where Your G is!

Do you remember how your partner found the various pleasurable points of your body through a series of trials in the initial stages of your relationship? You should anticipate the same experience with your G. Granted he will be thrilled about helping you explore its blissful sensations; this is an unfamiliar area for many men.

To guide him easily, tell him to gently insert 1 or 2 fingers inside your vagina and then he should feel along the upper wall of your vagina. If it is difficult for him to locate the exact spot, let him kiss you, caress your nipples or feel the external area of your vagina. The more stimulated you feel, the more conspicuous your g-spot will become and it will be easier to find.

It is a good idea to place some pillows beneath your lower back and spread your legs wider, this will open up your vagina and provide him with more access inside you, says Dr. Danielle Harel. When he hits the spot, guide him to gently manipulate it in delicious, slow circles. Caresses can differ; they may be in the form of number 8’s or a speedy sequence of pulsating movements. The G withstands pressure; you may need to tell him to massage it more firmly.

A g-spot technique that he should try on you is the tapping method. “With the tip of his finger, have him repeatedly tap your g-spot firmly”, advises Harel. She explains that there is a natural reason as to why this creates a sensational feeling. “The most powerful moments of physical touch on any part of the body are typically during the initial seconds. When he taps you, it feels as if he is touching you there for the very first time repeatedly and this causes an accumulation of feelings that can lead to a memorable orgasm.

Sexual Positions that Heighten G-spot Pleasure

You on top of him is a guaranteed g-spot conqueror. When you face your partner while leaning backwards at an angle, this allows his penis to lie against the higher wall of your vagina. Even the most minor thrusts will mean that he will automatically rub against your g-spot. Another advantage of this position is that you can control how deep and how fast he will thrust, which will make it easier for you to regulate the way your partner’s penis strokes your g-spot.

The doggie style move also gives your lover easy contact with your sweet spot. If you lie on your belly and keep your legs slightly apart, the walls of the vagina will be compressed and this will make it virtually unavoidable for your lover’s penis to evade your g-spot.

Do not disregard the possibilities of the missionary position. Try out this different version by lying on your back. Bend your knees, with your feet flat on the floor or any other surface. Use a couple of pillows under your lower back to facilitate a raised pelvis. Your lover is required to sit up and penetrate with upward angle thrusts. This will bring his penis into contact with your vagina’s upper wall.

A Vital Trick to Guarantee G-Spot Ecstasy

The bedroom trick that involves the g-spot with legendary success is known as the blended climax. For a wall shattering climax, the g-spot is stimulated while either your lover or you fiddle around with the clitoris. This serves to give you a double dose of pleasure in the form of an orgasm. “The clitoral nerves are located very near your g-spot and when the two parts are touched simultaneously, the climax is intense,” explains Hirschman.

A Blended O can be experienced during a foreplay session when your partner rubs your clitoris using his fingers and he uses two other fingers to caress your g-spot. “As the feeling of excitement increases, your pelvis should rise in a motion that allows you to thrust against his entire hand”, says Hirschman. She also suggests an oral move that involves him gently yet firmly licking your clitoris while massaging your sweet spot.

To enjoy a combined orgasm during sexual intercourse, the woman-on-top position is the most effective. Harel explains that you should angle your body and let his penis rub against the gspot while you hold up your body with your hands, preferably on a hard surface. In the meantime, your lover should actively touch your clitoris.

Another blended orgasm variation is the doggie style position where you kneel low with the support of your forearms. Raise your pelvis off the floor, table or bed to allow either of you to have easy contact with your c-spot. Increase the sensation by asking your lover to thrust slightly before ordering him to let go so that either of you can take over your clitoral stimulation. Order him (politely of course!) to start again while you gently flick your clit with your fingers.

When you feel like you can’t endure much more, let him caress you both outside and inside until you are ready to climax. Harel says this is a good move because the two of you participate in helping you to reach a combi climax orgasm. Aside from the intense physical pleasure, the emotional connection is powerful.

How to Maximize the Force of Your G-Spot Orgasms

To reach g-spot bliss, you will need to practice and continually stimulate it as well as make it a part of your sexual activity.

Aside from increasing the amount of sexual activity, you can intensify the pleasure by carrying out Kegel exercises. These involve the contraction of your pelvic muscles, just like you would if you attempt to stop urine from flowing out. Hirschman says that Kegels strengthen vaginal muscles and provide a strengthened grip during sex and this increases the pressure on your G.

This is how you do the Kegel exercises: focus on the pelvic muscle that controls your urine flow. Squeeze as tightly as possible, hold the position for a few seconds and let go. Repeat this 10 times, several times during the day. These exercises are convenient and you can do them virtually anywhere. Do them when you’re caught up in traffic, during a shower or even as you sit behind your desk. Repeated Kegels on a daily basis will increase the sensitivity of your g-spot.

Take just a minute to check out ‘Faster Female Orgasm’: “How To Reach Orgasm During Intercourse In Just 5 Minutes (Or Less)”

Related articles:

1. The C-Spot and G-Spot Orgasm Cocktail
2. Targeting Her Pleasure Buttons: How To Finger A Woman’s G-Spot
3. Send Her To A Cloud Of Pleasure: How To Hit The G-Spot During Sex
4. 3 Things All Men Need To Know About The G-Spot
5. Sex Tip: How To Find The G-Spot (Video)

So, if you want to up the pleasure you get when you climax read on to find out what you need to do to really create fire in bed.

 Wild Orgasm Tip #1: No More Fake Ones For You!

Why do women fake orgasms? That’s a complicated one. Here are a few possible reasons.

• At the start of your relationship, maybe you faked it because you want him to think you’re this wild, erotic lover.
• You’re tired and you really just want to get it over with.
• You actually have no idea how to climax so you just fake it.

Why it’s bad: When you fake your orgasms, you are sending him all the wrong ideas when it comes to what turns you on. As a result, he will never really get what makes you tick sexually.

How to change: Make it real. Seriously, don’t moan if there’s nothing to moan about. Don’t say it was great if it wasn’t. Don’t say ‘yeah, yeah’ when in you’re head you’re already planning tomorrow’s chores.

This does not mean to say that you should be brutal with comments (e.g., I don’t know why you’re licking that way!) or that you should be passive (why wait for him to figure YOU out?). Instead, explore your body together. If you don’t want to do this, you can go off on a self-exploration journey first. Yes, masturbate more.

Find out what moves REALLY arouse you. And then the next time you guys make love, guide him to what you want him to do.

Wild Orgasm Tip #2. Bring In A ‘Third Party’ To Bed.

Sometimes women, in their frustration to reach an orgasm more often, turn to battery-operated lovers. This is all well and good and in reality, sex toys ARE great ways to explore your own sexuality. However, in many cases, women tend to turn to their sex toys more and more because well, it’s almost a sure-thing each time you use it.

Why it’s bad: This prevents you from exploring better climaxes with your lover.

How to change: Why not try to introduce your man to your sex gadget? A lot of people say this will hurt his ego but this really depends on how you bring it. For instance, why not give him a peep show first. You KNOW what one of men’s sexual fantasies is to watch their woman masturbate so why not give him a treat?

Engage in self-love right in front of him. This will not only drive him wild but will bring you to your sexual edge too. It’s a win-win situation. You can even hand off the sex toy at one point to him so he can use it on you!

Wild Orgasm Tip #3. Realize This: Perfect Sex Exist Only In Movies.

Nowadays, it’s getting harder and harder to separate fantasy from reality! And the bedroom is one of those areas that are suffering from this. We seem to think that making love should be almost ‘picture perfect’. I mean, heaven forbid you make a fanny fart or emit some gas as he takes you from behind. And woman-on-top is GREAT but then again, you have to be right in front of him where he can see how your face contorts as you near your climax.

Why it’s bad: All of these thoughts are not only unrealistic; they completely get in the way of a darn good orgasm! Instead of letting go and losing yourself in the sexual moment, you tend to become alert as to what MAY occur.

How to change: Practice feeling and not thinking while making love. Really try to empty your mind and focus only on your body. If you must ‘think’, practice mental stimulation instead. For instance, if you love the way he’s licking you then recite this in your head “Lick. Lick. Lick. Wet. Wet. Wet. Coming. Coming. Coming.”

Wild Orgasm Tip #4. Your Next Bedroom Project: Tantric Sex.

Oftentimes, when a particular sex position works (i.e., you actually reached an orgasm in that position), we tend to engage in nothing but that position over and over again. Tried and tested, right?

Why it’s bad: If you keep on doing the exact same thing, it loses its effectives in the long run. Furthermore, this means you’re dangerously coming close to that R word (routine) that kills a lot of sex lives.

How to change: Keep on experimenting. Ok, maybe tantric sex or the kama sutra is too big a project to start with but you must start something. It keeps sex alive and yes, you WILL find one that will push your orgasms to greater heights.

Enjoy yourselves!

Take just a minute to check out ‘Faster Female Orgasm’: “How To Reach Orgasm During Intercourse In Just 5 Minutes (Or Less)”

Related articles:

1. 5 Reasons Why Women Fake Orgasms
2. Is Your Woman Faking Her Orgasms?
3. How To Tell If She Is Faking Her Orgasms! And What To Do If She Is…
4. Do Women Really Want Multiple Orgasms?
5. How To Use The Distract And Direct Technique To Keep Control Of Your Sexual Climax – Even When She’s In Charge