Your partner can tell a lot by your touch, including exactly how you feel about touching her. Whether you’re nervous, unskilled, aggressive or ignorant, your bad touch will speak louder than any words. Here are 4 ways you’re messing up the foreplay.

1. The “Nervous Nelly”

This kind of hesitant, unsure touch paired with “Is this good? How does that feel? What about this? Should I do a bit more of this? Or maybe that other thing!” will drive any woman mad, and not with pleasure. What does a nervous touch tell a woman?

That you don’t know what you’re doing and are too busy worrying about what she thinks of you to focus on making her feel good! You’re not between her legs to craft some dissertation on the poetry of her beauty. You’re there to be the best sex toy she’ll ever enjoy. Get over yourself and get to work.

2. The “Man-Handler”

Unfortunately, confidence isn’t enough. If you barge on ahead but are so caught up in enjoying yourself that you forget that the breasts in your hands are attached to a warm body, you are probably manhandling your girl. I can guarantee that’s not enjoyable for anyone.

Man-handling simply tells her that you don’t have the experience to touch her like you know what you’re doing, or the knowledge to notice that you aren’t hitting the right buttons. Don’t let it dissuade you unnecessarily; she already knows that you are a man and didn’t grow up with the same body she already knows. Calm down, take a few deep breaths and try to pay attention to her reactions when you touch her. Tease, tantalize – this is art, not construction.

Discover the answer to the question, “What new way can I touch her that makes her feel even better than I’ve ever made her before?” Do it by asking her to show you with her own hands. If you’ve never watched her body speak before, why would she expect you to already be fluent in her language? Take the time to learn by not being scared about using the wrong word. If you make a mistake, she’ll tell you.

3. The “Rough-And-Tumbler”

Feel like you have something to prove? Maybe you think you’re being aggressive or dominant, strong or sturdy, but getting rough without the clear go-ahead can be scary and can put the person you love in a pretty awkward position.

This kind of attitude tells her that you don’t respect her body or her boundaries. If you tend to “grab-on-tight and don’t-let-go,” it’s time to loosen up and enjoy the If you really want to see how she’s doing, get up close and personal, listen to her heartbeat, the quickness of her breath.

4. “The Hokey Pokey”

Your lover is not a pot roast, you don’t get to “stick a fork in her” to see if she’s done. Poking and prodding, whether trying to elicit a reaction, or determine arousal levels, can only lead to deflated desire. Poking the girls to make them cry stopped being an effective courting technique when you were eight.

Time to give up that juvenile attitude towards your body’s ability to speak the female sex language. A little dance like this sends the clear message that you can’t read her responses and that you are impatient to “get to the point.” If you really want to see how she’s doing, get up close and personal and pay attention to her body language. listen to her heartbeat, the quickness of her breath. Feel the heat of her skin and listen to her voice. If you must ask, just don’t spend more time asking how she’s doing than you do listening to what she’s saying.

1. Involve Her Clothes In The Sex

Don’t immediately dismiss them to the floor. It’s not just about the beauty that awaits to be unveiled, it’s also about the beauty of unveiling it. Get the drift?

Run your hands on her clothes, barely touching them. You’re not touching her body, but her apparel. This in itself brings pleasure as you grope through the varied textures & cuts of a woman’s couture. In a way, it’s a good thing she spends half her day choosing the perfect outfit. Sensitize your palms to the feel of cotton, linen, silk and other fabrics. And even when she’s wearing the plainest top and those classic denim jeans, run your hands through. Feel the friction. Doesn’t that feel nice?

Imagine what it will be like for her. She’ll be in a limbo with this hovering hand technique. It feels like you’re touching her, but then again she can’t really be sure. It’s like you’re touching her aura. It’s exciting, but not too intense. (Watch as her breathing gradually quickens.)

After hovering around, gradually apply more pressure and touch her body THROUGH her clothes. Now she can really feel you, she now knows what it means to be held and touched by a man. You’ve set her up so she’ll appreciate and welcome the warmth of your touch.

2.  Spice It Up! Work It!

Being a dull mouse and simply going through the motions of getting your girl naked is a waste of erotic potential.

Add carnal appeal to the proceedings and combine everything you’ve learned so far into a potent & powerful sexual tool. Talk dirty, unleash those naughty looks as you slowly release her body from the restrictions that are her garments. Don’t act all mundane. You might have seen her naked a million times, and it might actually be no big deal, but it doesn’t mean you should take it for granted. Make her feel wanted by lightly kissing the patches of skin you uncover.

And as you strip yourself – put some feeling into it! Nobody cares what ridiculous blob lies beneath your “I’m with Stupid” T-shirt, take it off with erotic appeal – there’s absolutely nothing sexier than confidence.

3. Pause Every Now And Then

Cease your hostilities with fabric and get busy with simpler stuff like kissing. Sometimes it’s good to back-off for a moment, leave her half-naked and recognize that she’s sexiest when she’s ALMOST BARE. There’s that tension again of being naked, but not quite. Of almost being there, but not yet.

Dig up all the sexy calendars you’ve collected over the years. Most ladies in there are not totally naked, they are almost naked, or perhaps covering chest and crotch with their oh-so-lucky palms. Feel the tension this creates. She lets you see the rest of her, but the parts you want the most, she leaves to your imagination. She doesn’t give it all away, always making you want more.

Perfect sexual tension. It’s not always about censorship.

Pause every now and then. Get an eyeful, (but without looking overly impressed.) Notice how incredibly sexy a woman with bare breasts in denim jeans can be. Leave those on and do something else. Caress her face or play with her hair. Don’t worry, those jeans will unzip themselves later.

Some of them will outright refuse it. However, the vast majority of women are going to embrace the sentiment of expanding their sexual horizon with you and engage in some kinky fun with sex toys if you present it to them properly.

Talk To Her About It

Before you rush off to an adult superstore or jump on your favorite website, talk to your girlfriend or wife about incorporating sex toys into the relationship. There are a lot of girls that would rather change positions or techniques rather than stick some plastic vibrating apparatus into their vagina.

If your girlfriend or wife is hesitant about trying a sex toy, tell that they don’t have to be dirty to have a sex toy. Most girls that are hesitant about using sex toys are embarrassed about their sexuality. Ask them why they do not want to use sex toys and about how sex toys can help them enjoy sex more.

Know Her Limits

You can’t just use any old sex toy on your girl. Make sure that you know her limits and what she is up for. While a girl might be game to use a small vibrator, that doesn’t give you recourse for buying a giant double-dong. Ask the girl what kind of sex toys she has always wanted to try.

Bringing her into the mix is going to increase the chances of a good experience. Chances are that she has always had a fantasy of something. This could be the perfect opportunity for you to learn more about her and what turns her on.

Shop Together

There are sex toys that come all shapes and sizes. Your girlfriend or wife is going to know her body much better than you do. Sure you spend a lot of time down there, but that doesn’t mean that you know big of a vibrator she needs. Remember that you’re not the one that the sex toys are going to be used on.

When you go to the adult store or shop online, do it together. She might have her eye on a g-spot massager where you are going for the clitoral stimulator. Girl’s know their body much more than you do so let her take the lead or at least give you an idea of what she wants before you ever spend any money.

Get Lube

Don’t rely on the girl to get wet just because she is trying something new. Yes, sex toys can exciting and she might not need it, but going to a sex store or even shopping online gives you the opportunity to stock up on a much needed item. Lube can be used for just about everything from sex to a massage. If you see a bottle of lube at the store, pick it up just to be safe. The toy might be a little bigger than she anticipated and that extra bit of lube can make a huge difference in her experience.

Don’t Rely On The Toy

One of the biggest mistakes that you can make is to let up once you have a sex toy. The toy is there to enhance what is already happening, not to replace it. Remember to use a lot of foreplay when you are with your girlfriend or wife. Don’t rely on a vibrator taking her to the edge. You should already know what is going to push her buttons and get her turned on before the sex toy ever comes out.

Let Her Take Control Of The Toy

Yes, you have a new toy and you want to play with it. Slow down though. Just because you want to play with it doesn’t mean that you’re going to know how she likes it. Let her be in charge of the sex toy. If she was a little hesitant to even bring the toy into the bedroom, the last thing that you want to do is have her feel uncomfortable with you poking and prodding at her. Let her do what feels good. Let her give herself an orgasm or two with it. When she’s ready, she will give you the go ahead to start using it on her.

When beginning a genital massage it is typically best to start with lighter, irregular strokes – like teasing. Do a wide variety to touches and strokes early on. Be quite playful. As you go further and further into the genital massage, stick with two or three main strokes that your partner really enjoys but do mix them up until you are ready for the big finale.

Eventually you will want to develop a good rhythm that your partner can get into – that is the key to bringing your partner to orgasm with a genital massage. When your partner is arriving at an orgasm, it is very important that you don’t vary your technique at all! Moving even slightly into a different hand position can bring your partner back down from the brink and cause you to have to start bringing him back up again. If your partner is close to having an orgasm, the same stroke over and over will push him over the edge! You know how it works with rubbing your clitoris! Not much difference here.

1. Use More Lube Than You Think You Need

Use an excessive amount of lube if you know he can get cleaned up afterwards. If you are at his office in the high rise you can’t be quite as liberal with the slick stuff. Lots of lube will give him a super-sexy, ultra-slippery feeling all over his scrotum, penis and perineum. You can probably never use too much lube, the slicker the better.

2. Tickle Him First

Begin by just using the tips of your fingers. Let them float all around your partner’s penis, pressing lightly and then moving into a firmer press.

3. Use Your Palms

Roll the shaft of his penis in between your palms. You can do this lightly or harder if your partner likes more stimulation. Some guys like it if you shake his member gently and then toss it back and forth between your hands (open-palmed). Obviously you do that more when it is still a bit soft.

4. Stroke With Both Hands

Take one hand and wrap it around his shaft, pulling towards the head. As you’re finishing the stroke with that hand, begin a new stroke with the other hand. Be careful not to pull too hard, however, because anything more than a gentle to a medium pull can give your partner the uncomfortable sensation that he is being “milked” or that you are rubbing his skin raw.

5. The Big “O”

Do a reverse of the technique above. Make an “O” with your hand and put it on the top of his penis and push it down so the head pokes through. As you are moving your hand down take your other hand and do that same. Then take the bottom hand and move it on top. Do this in smooth succession like he is entering an endless vagina.

6. Stimulate His Head

Hold the base of the shaft firmly with one hand while rubbing your palm on the head. This traps blood at the head, making it more sensitive to whatever you’re stroke you’re using on the head.

7. Twist It Up

Give a long stroke from the base all the way to the tip of the head in a twisting motion. You can twist up the entire penis or save the twisting until you reach the head for a varied effect. Put both hands on your partner’s member, one at the base and the other at the head. Use the above technique, but twist with both hands at the same time. You can also twist in different directions to spice up the move.

8. Different Strokes For Different Folks

Try using different strokes with your partner’s shaft pointed in different directions. This causes blood to flow in different areas, making him more sensitive to your movements.

9. Give Him A Ring

Make your thumb and forefinger form a ring around the base of your partner’s penis. Move this ring up and down the shaft in long strokes. You can do this gently or in a more firm fashion depending on the stage of genital massage your partner is in.

Yes, it is typically the sign that of a “job well done,” but did you know that there is way more behind the male orgasm? For example, sometimes a man can have two orgasms in one, meaning that he feels that release sensation at the beginning of climax and then feels a sudden burst of pleasure at the end. Sometimes, a man can have an orgasm and not ejaculate at all while other times, he can ejaculate and not feel a thing. Now that you are aware that you might not have all of the signals down pat, how do you know if you have given him amazing pleasure?

There is one way to guarantee that you are giving your man satisfaction and showing him that you know your way around the male body and that is to give him total body sex. This means that you just aren’t going to go for the gold and head straight to his penis to make him orgasm. No, you are better than that. Instead, you are going to learn how to please a man from head to toe and to really give him an all over amazing sensation that he won’t soon forget.

Above The Neck

There are many spot on a man’s head that can really get him going in the bedroom. Obviously you have his eyes to attract by wearing something sexy, his nose by wearing some delicious scent and his lips to give him passionate kisses to send chills all throughout his body but there is so much more. For example, kissing on his ears, his neck, scratching his scalp, digging your nails into the back of his neck and so on are all things that contribute to pleasure.

Even using your fingers on his lips will get him going. Try biting on his lips or even grazing them with your fingertips. Anything that you can do that will tease and tantalize him is definitely the way to go.

Torso And Arms

The obvious hot spots on a man’s torso are his nipples but stay away from that. Those are the typical spots that he is used to having stimulated by you and are you a typical lover? Of course not! You want to kick this up a notch and truly show him that you know how to give him total body sex all the way from his head and down to his itty bitty toes.

Instead of going for the nipples, try stimulating his back and stomach. Kissing on his back or stomach and even using your nails to scratch all the way down will give him some amazing satisfaction. Remember that men love that rough stimulation so the rougher it is, the better. Also, don’t forget about his arms. Using your fingers and nails to trace along his forearms will give him a sensation he probably never knew he had. The skin is extra thin on his forearms so feeling your nails digging deep will definitely drive him wild.

Don’t forget about his fingers either. A super sexy tip to try is to suck on his fingers to mimic oral sex. Feeling those warm and wet lips of yours tracing along his fingers will make him desperately want to feel that warm mouth on another part of his body.

Thighs And Legs

We all know how amazing it feels to have a man kiss our inner thighs and before oral sex. This move may be a bit too sensitive for your man to handle but that doesn’t mean that you can’t give him stimulation there in a different way. Again, your fingers and nails are capable of so much pleasure it is insane. Digging your nails deep into his thighs will drive him wild because not only is the skin sensitive there but it is also so close to his penis and the closer you are without touching it, the more you are going to drive him absolutely wild.

The best part about giving your man total body sex is that there are no rules. You don’t necessarily have to start from head to toe. You can always mix and match these tips to suit whatever your man’s needs might be in that moment. You can do a lot to him or a little; it is up to you. You are in the driver’s seat when you are pleasing him and it is all up to you how close to the edge you want to take him tonight.

Get Comfortable With It

For a lot of people, even in this day and age, with a media saturated in sexual imagery, sex can be incredibly uncomfortable to discuss. Even with our most intimate partners. Especially when unsatisfied, your wife may not be articulating what she wants or needs sexually, as she’s afraid of hurting your feelings.

Before you start the conversation, you need to get comfortable saying the words associated with sex – penis, vagina, clitoris, G-Spot, orgasm, lubrication and intercourse. Say them out loud, somewhere private, and just get comfortable with the sound of them in your mouth. When you can say them to yourself without blushing, you are ready to say them to the person you love.

Take The Initiative

In order to open her up, you need to take the first step. If she feels like you are grilling her with some kind of sexual interview, she may retreat. Instead, you need to spend some time – days, maybe even weeks – communicating to her how important her sexual satisfaction and overall pleasure is for you.

When she knows that any helpful tips, comments or critiques she gives you will be accepted as a gift, she can feel as if she is giving them to you, instead of that she is burdening you with them. When she is ready to divulge information about her sexual preferences, don’t take in a list of questions and read it off like an interview. Go in having already thought about what you want to know about her, and take the time to volunteer some of the same information about yourself to encourage her when you start out.

Take care to be positive and gentle when talking about her sexual performance. Tell her what she already does that you like!

Make A Deal

No accusations, no judgments, no huffy remarks or pouty lips; it’s time to sit down and have that chat. Sexpert Tracey Cox suggests three things to remember when it comes time for open and honest communication about your sex life:

First, take the time to figure out what it is you want, and be very specific. You know that you aren’t satisfied with your sex life, and you probably figure your wife isn’t either. Do you want to know how to please her better? Do you want more sex? How much more, and what kind? Do you need to have more orgasms, or do you want to opportunity to touch her more often? Do you want to have sex more in the morning, or during the daylight hours? Are you interested in trying more new things, or is there something you know that you like, that you want to do more often?

Second, how much information do you really want from her? Do you want details of past lovers and how they touched her? Are you prepared to hear about any difficult or shocking experiences? It is important to know how many details you are willing to divulge as well. Tell her how much you are willing to hear, and let her do the same.

Finally, agree that “no” means “no more.” Whether it’s just the sexual conversation, or time to try things out, it is important to have a clear understanding that either of you can say “I’m sorry, that technique (or role play, or sex position) isn’t working” or “Hey, I need a break to collect my thoughts” if things aren’t going quite the way you anticipated.

It can be a bit overwhelming when you try to get into the details, which is why you should think about it for a while before you sit down to talk. Furthermore, you should give your wife the chance to think about it as well. When you sit down to make your deal, take the time to discuss what you really want to know about each other.

Perhaps you have already taken a look at your local sex shop, or at online stores to see what the selection is like. I bet you were taken aback! Heck, my sex toy store has over a thousand different products in the lubrication category!

That is a whole lot of choice, so let’s take a minute and talk about your options. Lubricants can easily be broken down into a few categories based on ingredients.

First, the “base” of the lubricant determines how they can be used – silicone lube, for example, can’t be used with silicone toys; oil-based lubricant is not safe for use with condoms; some women are incredibly sensitive and will only be able to use lubes that are based on natural, organic ingredients.

Next, there are lubes that are best for anal sex, others that heat up or cool down, and even some with special flavors just for oral. Be sure you know what you’re getting into before going on a shopping spree.

Oil & Water

Oil based lubricants are great, especially natural ones, because the body just soaks them up and gets silky smooth. Most oil-based lubricants, unless otherwise labeled, are not condom safe. If this is your choice of birth control, move on to another selection.

Water based lubricants are the best all-around choice. Not only are they safe for condoms, but with silicone and other toys as well. They are also easy to wash out of sheets and clothing. They do tend to evaporate quickly, but a bit of saliva or a light mist of cool water will slick them back up in no time.

Silicone

Silicone-based lubricants are smooth like silk and great for long lasting play, but are no good when using silicone toys and not great for oral sex. Silicone may not taste very good, but you only need a touch and it will last for hours. It is safe to use with condoms, so if you do have silicone toys, you can protect them with a latex condom or nitrile glove. If you are planning to try a bit of back door play, pick one that is nice and thick.

Au Natural

If your wife or girlfriend is particularly concerned about what kind of liquid love gets inside her body, or if she happens to be sensitive to parabens or other irritating ingredients in most popular lubes, you should take advantage of the growing array of natural and organic products for the conscientious buyer. If plain coconut oil won’t do, or you want something a bit slicker for longer play, these are right up your alley.

Hot, Cold And Delicious

Whether you want something that is going to warm up with some vigorous thrusting, or a bit of icy gel to get her clitoris tingling under your touch and tongue, there are options available for your delight! Tingling lubricants and gels are also great for nipple play, especially if they are edible. They will help to harden her nipples right up, making them extra sensitive to your mouth and fingers, and also give them a bit of a slippery surface for extra sensation.

Flavored lubes are obviously best for a bit of oral play, but be very careful. Many of these lubes contain irritants or sugars that can cause a yeast infection if they get inside her vagina, so if you use them on her genitals, be sure to only put a drop on her clitoris and keep your fingers clean for insertion when your tongue techniques have made her wet.

Maybe not as much when brittle bones and cardiac complications set in, but it will always be an element of your existence. Whether it’s vicarious sex or a simple interlocking of hands with your wife of 50 years, sex takes a whole lifetime to appreciate.

The Good News – Sex Gets Better With Age

Like wine, huh?

You get good at it the more you do it. You’ll soon master its in’s & outs and will be able to calibrate your woman down to the most minuscule detail. Similarly, she’ll also master you, discovering how you want booty served. As you two get to know each other, sex will spiral up.

Really?! Then why do people tend to spiral the other way?

For many couples, this is what happens: Sex was good, no, it was GREAT! They made love like the gods. They were Energizer bunnies who just won’t stop. They thought the passion would last forever… but nobody’s falling for that now.

That was yesterday, viewed through rose-colored glasses. Today, sex (with that same old hag) has become boring – almost a drudgery. All they have are memories of what has been…and they are just 27 years old!

What’s up with that? If sex is supposed to get better over time, then why end up in a rut where it has become soulless, dead, ho-hum and unexciting?

It’s Only Up To A Point

Beyond an optimum point, things start going downhill. The body cannot realistically maintain levels of brain chemistry that cause passion to wax hot. The Law of Averages dictates that over time, all things come back and plateau on the average. Passion has to simmer down when the novelty of sex ceases. If it’s all the same – same partner, same set of breasts, same sexual positions, same moans – sex will definitely get old.

Chances are, a day will come when you’d rather sleep than make-love to that fat ogre beside you. There’s no set time, but it’ll definitely happen. You’ll feel it, she’ll feel it, you two will definitely feel it. When you hear things like, “I’m just not as horny as I used to be,” you’re getting there.

But that’s okay. Things getting old is fine, that’s life. Nothing is wrong with the idea of sex losing its charm, it’s your response to this new sexual dynamic that needs tweaking.

New Challenges Await You

Recognize that when this “up to a point” comes, it only means A NEW STAGE IN YOUR SEXUAL RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN ACHIEVED. This brings with it a new set of challenges and it’s important that you appropriately respond to them. It doesn’t mean your run is over, you don’t need to swear off sex altogether.

Whereas the challenge in the past was getting home in the least amount of time, your new challenge could be finding new and exciting ideas to bring into bed.

And that takes work, a lot of work. Not manual labor, but brain power. You need to don your creative hat for this. And for many people, the very idea of honing creativity for sexual purposes is just too much, they’d rather find someone else new. But in committed, long-term relationships, it’s not that simple – or wise.

Morning Sex

Morning sex. I’m not talking after breakfast, or after dropping the kids off. I’m talking about first thing in the morning. Or earlier. We all know that there’s no wood like morning wood. Even if your lover is normally harder than Chinese arithmetic at all times, he will still be at his hardest and most potent when his little man wakes up to greet the day.

Often his member will wake up before he does. This is awesome. Fuck his brains out, whether or not he’s fully awake. Hop on and get off. He will wake up and join the party. Even if he doesn’t, he will wake up with a smile on his face.

He will probably last longer than any other time during the day, so be prepared. This can mean multiple orgasms for you. If you’re only in the mood for a quickie, get yourself warmed up with vibrators and or masturbation before you have sex with him.

Finishing Off With Oral Sex

Make sure to finish him off with some really great oral sex if you go the quickie route, and of course, put a condom on his penis if you engage in anal sex, for obvious reasons. If he’s still asleep when you bring him to orgasm, try taking his load in your mouth (or on your face if you’re into facials) and then waking him up, letting him see his semen all over your face or in your mouth. Waking up to a woman who’s got your load in your mouth is hot. Watching her swallow after she’s had her way with you is just plain sexy, and is a really, really great way to start the day.

Did you know that’s how Einstein started each and every day? Who knows where we would be as a society if he hadn’t had morning sex before he even got out of bed to start the day. I shudder to think about it.

He Can Service You Too!

It can work both ways too. There’s nothing wrong with him starting the day by servicing his lady (or his dude, whatever you’re into). If you start the day with a roll in the hay, you’ve put yourself in a really great position to have the best possible day, and a stress free one. It’s really hard to get upset when your brain has been scrambled by all those sexually released chemicals. You might not cut someone off on the way to work, or you might be a little more relaxed when you go to Starbucks and you spend twenty minutes behind a person, only to watch in horror as they finally get up to the counter and still haven’t figured out what they want!

You do each other every morning and you’ll notice a huge difference in your life. It will lower your stress levels, get you going, in a good way and you’ll probably find that you really appreciate your partner more and before you know it that increased physical intimacy will lead to increased emotional intimacy.

Sex is like the canary in the well of your relationship. If that’s wild and passionate and frequent, your relationship is in really good shape. If it’s dull, boring and infrequent, well, that’s not so good.

Do It Even When You Don’t Want To

My advice is molest your partner early every morning regardless of whether or not you want to. This is especially true and important for people who have kids. I’m not in the mood, you say? Well, I hate to break it to you, but women have been having sex without wanting to or being in the mood for centuries and nobody died from that. So just do it, even if you don’t think you want to. You will be really glad you did after you’re done having oral sex, anal sex, plain old missionary style intercourse or whatever you’re into. You’re welcome.

Don’t you want to make your man melt? Don’t you want to leave him in a pleasure induced coma and render him speechless? Wouldn’t it be a wonderful thing to have all of the power in the bedroom and to make him completely weak in the knees? You are getting excited by these thoughts, aren’t you? Then it’s time you learned how to make the pleasurable experiences happen for both you and your man tonight.

Ease Into It

You can’t go in guns blazing. That’s the first rule. Just with sex, there is a little foreplay involved. Even in those heated moments, you never just go right into it. There is always some form of foreplay to get you both going. The same rule must be upheld for oral sex. You don’t necessarily have to take your time, but don’t go right into it right away.

Start off slow by kissing around his penis. Use your hand to stroke around the base and gradually work your way up the shaft. Starting off with your hand will ensure that you are making him hard and making your job ultimately easier. This also gets him going and gets him used to stimulation. Then, you can throw your tongue into the mix. Use your tongue to lick up and down the sides of his shaft and making your way up to the head of his penis. Keep in mind, the head of his penis is akin to your clitoris – it gets very sensitive when directly stimulated. Use your tongue to massage around the penis but never stay on one spot.

By this time, he is going to be begging for it so it’s time to move into phase two. Don’t leave him on the verge of this breaking point for too long. It’s time to give him.

Work Your Magic

Even though it is called ‘oral sex,’ that doesn’t mean that you have to use your mouth and only your mouth. Even though your warm tongue and mouth both feel incredible stimulating him all over, he needs a bit of rough stimulation as well and this is where your hands come into play.

With your mouth and tongue on the tip of his penis, stimulating his most sensitive spot, he is craving some rough stimulation on his shaft where he can handle that kind of a touch. This is a perfect opportunity to use your hand or both your hands and to really work his shaft.

When doing this, make sure you have a lot of lubrication. Another mind blowing oral tip to keep in mind is that for him, the wetter the better. Make sure that he is plenty lubed up with either lubrication or your saliva so he doesn’t encounter any friction that will take away from the experience.

Get Into It

Good girls can give good head but bad girls give amazing head. Don’t be afraid to moan and to get into it. Flip around and let him tend to you while you are on top giving it to him. Oral is supposed to be fun and the more you let loose, the sexier and amazing it is going to be. Also, the more you are into it and the more relaxed you are, the easier it is going to be for you to take him in your mouth.

If you want to deep throat and give him that kind of an experience, then there is a trick for that so you can do so with ease and reassurance. All you do is make a fist with your left hand, press your index and thumb together and squeeze as hard as you can. This pressure will bypass your gag reflex so you will be able to allow your man to explore all of the depths of your mouth. Try it tonight!

You can give your man an amazing mind blow oral sex experience tonight and it is about time that you did just that. Make him melt with just your mouth and have him eating out of the palm of your time in no time.

For many men, premature ejaculation is one of the most embarrassing problems that can happen in the bedroom. It can sneak up on you when you become extremely aroused, and any slight movement or extra friction on the penis can bring you to the point of no return. Very often, ejaculation occurs within one minute of sexual intercourse, and this ill-timed event can frustrate both you and your partner.

But the simple truth is also that PE can be permanently reversed. Any man can learn how to re-train his ejaculatory reflexes and keep an impending climax at bay until he or his partner is ready for it. Here are two simple tips that will add minutes to sex and amp up your lovemaking.

Associate The Sensations That Happen Before Your Orgasm

Unlike women, men are far more easily aroused during sex. Thus to control your ejaculation, you first have to learn to recognize the sensations that come immediately before an orgasm, as well as associate the sensations while you are climbing up the arousal curve. This helps you become aware of the amount of stimulation your penis can take before you come to a climax.

Such “cognitive feedback” will enable you to modulate your actions and movements during sex so that you will stay clear of the “point of no return” until you are ready.

Establish Physical Control To Delay An Orgasm

This brings us to the next point. So how do you modulate your movements to keep your ejaculation at bay?

First, start things SLOWLY. Adopt a gradual, sensuous build-up to sex. Unlike men, women take FAR longer to warm up to your advances, so take your time to arouse her mind and body first. She will love your undivided attention… plus, it also helps buy you more time in bed!

Second, pay close attention to the things that cause you an early ejaculation. For instance, if a certain sex position speeds up your climax, switch things up when you feel your arousal climbing. (Hint: for most men, the missionary position is the culprit of quick-fire sex). Do you get aroused too fast during foreplay? If so, ask your partner to avoid making excessive contact with your genitals.

Third, try adopting a different thrusting method during intercourse. Instead of penetrating deeply, alternate between shallow and deep penetrations. This helps you in two ways. Shallow penetrations, coupled with gyrating hip movements, will give your woman greater clitoral stimulation and gets her aroused faster. On the other hand, deeper thrusts create less friction on your penis glans and helps you last longer!

Remember, premature ejaculation is NOT permanent. By understanding your own sexual arousal patterns and making simple changes to the way you have sex, PE will soon become a long-forgotten past!

Give Her Time

There are some ladies who take a long while to get where they need to be before experiencing orgasm. With such a vast number of factors involved in the process, it is a delicate juggle that may or may not line up on any given night. Some women, however, have the self-knowledge, experience, confidence and wherewithal to climax in record time.

Maybe she can elicit what she needs from her body just by thinking sexy thoughts, or maybe she has a partner that really knows how to get her motor running. Maybe, just maybe, your wife is one of the rare few who barely need any assistance at all! These are the women that the rest of us envy.

Know The Factors That Affect Her Orgasm

Many factors affect a woman’s ability to orgasm, such as her mindset, where she is in her menstrual cycle, any positive or negative sexual experiences she may have experienced in the past, where and how she spent her day, how much stress she’s under, even the things she has eaten or ingested including food, water, drugs, alcohol and/or medications.

Some of these things will affect her positively – fond memories from a smell or a touch can send her right into sexy space, or small amounts of booze might help her to loosen up when she’s feeling anxious. Others, like fatty foods, excess alcohol and many prescription medications, will only serve to dampen her sexual fire.

Find Out If She Orgasms During Masturbation

Ask your lady if she masturbates and experiences orgasm on her own. If she does, she’s likely to orgasm during sexual intercourse far more easily than her non-masturbatory counterparts.

Don’t bother asking her how long she takes as an indicator of how long it’ll take while you’re inside of her though; like you when you touch your own cock, she knows her body so well that masturbation will get her to climax consistently much faster than any other method.

What will help to move things along is extended foreplay before penetrative intercourse – fingering and oral sex are sure to get her nice and warm before penetration. You’ll get her that much further along the path to climax this way, so that her juices are revved and ready to go when you make the transition from foreplay to intercourse.

Find Out What She Likes

Ask her to show you what she does on her own, or what angles, pressure and rhythm she really enjoys. If you can get to know what gets her off solo, you’ll be that much closer to learning what really makes her tick.

All of this information doesn’t truly answer the question though, does it? I’m not avoiding it, I promise. I just want to ensure that you understand all of the factors involved before you start checking the clock and timing your lover’s orgasmic process.

In a nutshell, most women take anywhere from ten to thirty minutes to achieve orgasm during penetrative sex. That time frame doesn’t include foreplay or aftercare, but rather direct clitoral head stimulation or G-Spot play during intercourse.

And most of all, they love to lavish attention on the beauty that is the female body. Here are 3 steamy sex secrets from the sex gods that you can use to make your woman fall all over you. Pay heed to this “gender intelligence” and become a sex god yourself!

1. The Art Of Silent Conveyance

Let your eyes, hands and body do the talking . A woman should know that you want her without you having to speak the words. This is conveyed in the way that you look at a woman, the way that you behave around a woman and the way you touch a woman’s body.

Let your fingers rest on hers for a second longer than necessary. Look at her with desire in your eyes. Get her emotionally prepared for what is coming next, and have her eagerly anticipating it as well!

2. The Art Of Tender Embrace

Once you are sure that your advances are welcomed, take her into your arms and begin kissing her, caressing her at the same time. Touch her all over, but do not fumble, stumble or grope. Your movements should be fluid and you should embrace her body.

Give her sensual delight and she will be over the moon in no time. Embracing her is not just fumbling around with her breasts and vagina; it is the intimate act of getting her physically and mentally aroused for sex.

3. The Art Of Oral Exploration

Sexual intercourse is not the only way to sexually gratify a woman. Cunnilingus is often billed as one of the “most wanted” sexual acts by women, and for a simple reason. The tongue is your body’s strongest muscle. And the tantalizing touch of a man’s tongue on a woman’s body is like no other, and cannot be replicated by any other things.

Being naturally lubricated with saliva, your tongue is also a far more effective and maneuverable tool than your penis to give her awesome orgasms. Learn how to tease her clitoris orally and you will have her as hot as a tigress in heat, waiting to burst forth with orgasmic pleasure.

If she is already struggling to reach orgasm regularly, so might not want the additional pressure of trying to orgasm over and over again.

There are several ways to assist your partner with finding the path to multiples, as all women have the capacity, but only if she is prepared and has opened her mind to the idea. It’s all just a matter of creating the perfect storm.

What To Do After The First Orgasm

Once she has experienced her first orgasm, you want to ensure she remains aroused. Cuddle, coo, snuggle and tell your lover how much you appreciate her, all while slowly and gently stimulating the clitoral head and hood.

If she is too sensitive, pull back to the labia, the mons or even the inner thigh. Basically, whatever pressure, rhythm and position you were in prior to her orgasm, you want to continue along those lines but more gently and with less force.

Focus on the romance for a bit instead of the orgasm, and allow her a bit of a breather. Just don’t stop touching for more than a few seconds at a time, or the cool-off period will begin.

Watch Her Breathing

Once your girl’s breathing starts slowing back to normal (but before it gets all the way there), start with a bit more pressure along the mons pubis. If need be, shift into another position that offers strong symphysis and/or G-Spot stimulation.

If you can, put your hand over the mons pubis and feel around for the clitoral shaft, making sure she is getting the proper angle for lots of rubbing and friction.

Move your body further up hers if you are in a sex position facing her, so that you can help her rise toward climax again. If she pushes you away or says she’s too sensitive, take things back a few notches but don’t stop entirely.

Focus On The Other Parts

Focus on other parts of her body that arouse her until she starts to move of her own accord, rubbing against you in search of more stimulation. When her hips thrust and her breathing quickens, you can start playing with her mons pubis and pressing up against her pubic bone.

Her second orgasm should occur in less time than it took the first, only because her body didn’t regress all the way back to the non-aroused state before beginning her next ascent to climax.

1. Neck & Shoulders

The neck and shoulders, a well-known erogenous zone – tickles at first, but when she gets the hang of it, she’ll demand a kissing trail. Manual or oral stimulation is good, both is even better.

Nuzzle her neck with your snout or chin. That’s what some fellows in the animal kingdom do to suggest sexual motive. Occasionally, blow her a warm sigh – which slowly blows all her inhibitions away.

Give her neck and shoulders a good dosage of kissing, licking, sucking and some Transylvanian biting. No wet, sloppy ones please. Manage the slime, spit and slush.

The area could use a relaxing erotic massage. Give her shoulder blades firm squeezes. Use thumb circles especially at the base of the neck, where it’s connected to the shoulders. Stroke it sensually but firmly. Plant pointy kisses when you finish kneading, then gently caress the area using the back of your fingers.

2. Belly Area

See how large it is? How can you let such huge space miss on the action?

Her front torso is a canvass – like her back. And just like her back, it can be a productive playing field. So stop treating this patch of skin as that boring space between the breasts and the vulva during foreplay. It’s a major stop over, so camp there for a while.

Plant generous amounts of light, quick and gentle kisses on this canvass, purposely avoiding the breasts. There’s so much fun to be had. Take the belly button, for example.

It’s a handy place for depositing stuff like ice cubes, grapes, strawberries, syrup or choco drops. Not to mention the fact that women respond well to tongue on their buttons. Even a finger goofing around its outer edges can get her really going.

Do not follow a straight line from the lips down to her garden. Tease her. Let her simmer and hang for a few minutes. Naturally, she’ll want you to heed the call of the vagina and continue down. Which you will… but only in your own terms.

By staying on the area, you fire up specific questions in your partner’s head. It gets her thinking: Will he go all the way down?

That possibility excites her and makes her anticipate the moment when you finally cross Vulval territory. It’s an “almost there, but not quite there yet” anticipation building move – reminiscent of the excitement she encountered when you went higher and higher her inner thighs.

3. Arms

Fingers are your earliest tools for engaging another human being. We shake hands to bridge the physical gap between strangers, for example. Hand holding is commonly the first intimate expression between man and woman – it’s your tip and her tip coming together.

Simple hand holding is always a big hit for women, and it’s always nice to begin this way – no matter how cheesy it may seem. It may be the most mundane thing, but it could very well be the sweetest, most reassuring act this side of the bed.

It indicates warmth, affection and connection – showing her you’re not just there for the lay. When you communicate these things to a woman, an emotional bond waves through the act.

You may then do the classic hand massage. With edible lubricant, drive your thumbs onto her palm in a fanning/circular motion. Perform the same movement, but with less pressure, on the bonier back. Remember, massage is about meat and flesh, don’t knead fragile bones in the hope of relieving tension – you’ll break them.

Up the ante by indulging your girl with some oral sex. Lick those digits in a blowjob manner. Ravish her fingers and flicker your tongue over her columns. Playfully bite and suck all the goodness in that sweet thang.

Lead her hands somewhere nice. Like the naughty parts of your anatomy. Bring them to your stacked chest, and down to your even more well-endowed crotch. Delight her with the variety of textures. Let her feel the benevolence of your face and the suppleness of your behind. Teach her how you want to be touched.

Another favorite is planting kisses on the length of the lady’s tentacles. Beginning from the tips and worming your way towards her body. There’s always something about having someone go nearer, nearer, and nearer you that makes a girl’s heart beat a tad faster during foreplay.

Kissing from the fingertips towards the center means you’re reducing distance between the heads, making it increasingly more intimate and personal. The other way around just creates some sort of a going away psychological distance.

Most men who have been the fortunate recipient of a magnificent handjob will attest that it is often be more thrilling than a blow job.

Why A Handjob Makes Him Feel Special

While great intimacy is found when you make love, sex is a two-way street and there are times when focusing all your sexual energy on him and giving him a glorious hand job will pay back dividends for years to come.

I know that I’ve gushed compliments and favors and extra love and attention on my wife after she has brought me to a glorious climax after an exquisite hand job.  I’m often on a handjob “cloud 9” for a day or two after the special attention.

If you aren’t giving your man a healthy dose of handjobs then it is almost certain that he is resenting it in some way.

What The Stats Say

Here is what one of my subscriber said when I asked what they most liked about handjobs: “Wish I could give you anything – not something that I’m lucky enough for my wife to be willing to do. So you if you have any advice on how to get her interested in taking matters into her hands, I would appreciate it.”

In a different survey I sent out to thousands of my male subscribers.  I asked that only those who have received amazing blowjobs and handjobs reply.  I asked these men how many of them would prefer an amazing hand job over a “good” (not amazing) blow job.  82% said they would want the amazing hand job.

That is great news for all women.   Almost any women can learn the skills and techniques that will have their men in hand job heaven with the right teaching.  Blowjob skills are much harder to master and quite frankly we men realize that for most women sucking on a guy is not always the most pleasant experience.  Loving – yes.  Enjoyable – not for most women.

Your Hands Do More Than Your Mouth

Obviously a woman does not have a penis.  So either she can ask her man to teach her exactly what to do or she can read one of the most thorough guides ever written that will give her confidence and skills to take any man to moments and heights of pleasure he certainly has never reached before.

There are times in which your hands can do much, much more to a penis than you could dream of doing with your mouth or vagina and therefore, sometimes two hands are better than one mouth or one vulva!

Here, we’ll discuss plenty of techniques that you can use for male genital massage to get your partner aroused and to climax in a matter of minutes – or if you feel like it, seconds or hours!

Generally, a well performed hand job works better than fellatio and gives you a break as well ladies – keep in mind that it is easier to prolong a male genital massage for extended periods of time than it is to give your partner ultra-long, ultra-sensuous fellatio.

That doesn’t mean, however, that you should always replace fellatio with a genital massage. There’s just something about a hot mouth on your partner’s penis that really gets him going. But by learning the tricks and techniques of giving a great genital massage, you can be sure that you can always take matters into your own hands!

Up to this point, we spoke of an orgasm as if it’s something  men GIVE the ladies. But the truth is, men can only do so much, we can only give the stimulation, women have to give the O’s to themselves.

1. Help Her Relax

Free the mind and bring your girl to a place where she can enjoy the moment, loosen up, and let go of her worries. We didn’t go through all that trouble just so she can lie passively, stare blankly at the ceiling, and do nothing but wait for the climax.

Of course not! She has a part in this dance. We went through the trouble of relaxing the mind & body so she can actively FOCUS on the sexual sensations. It’s the girl’s job is to take all stimulation, heighten awareness, and use that to power the climaxes.

An orgasm is not a passive thing; she has to feel the intensifying sensations of an unfolding process. She has to close her eyes, stop worrying about bills or anything fishy, block everything else.

2. Switch To Sexual Rapture

She has to recognize your hand and attend its gig on her vulva. She has to feel your fingers inside her, threatening to enflame her G -spot. She has to follow your tongue as it scintillates her clitoris. She has to feel every thrust and be enveloped with your blissful moves.

But as she’s doing these, she shouldn’t drive for an orgasm, but simply ride the journey to it. If she gets worried with cumming, she’ll merely undo everything in Step 1. Here, she’s not pressuring herself, she’s just enjoying the process, being in the moment. She’s not thinking about the big O, but reveling in the ecstasy you bring each other. She’s just playing around.

And then,  just when she’s not expecting it, at a point when she’s just messing around, at a moment when she’s lost all track of time… she begins that familiar writhing. It’s those unmistakable contractions. They’re starting to come in. She moans. Her body thrashes and her head swings side-to-side. Ding. ding. ding!

That’s the two-step process of sidestepping the paradox. First, clear her head. Second, fill it with erotic bliss.

The first time I ever came during intercourse, my partner and I used a seated position that offered both clitoral and internal G-Spot stimulation like no other, and it’s still my go-to position when I want to orgasm quickly while looking in my lover’s eyes. Every woman is different so why not try some of the under-appreciated seated positions to see if any can offer up just what you’re both after.

1. Hot Tub Squat

This position is best in a hot tub or pool with a seated ledge, although it’s possible to perform in a comfy, firm, high-backed chair. Try to keep your genitals out of the water if possible, as chlorine in the vagina can lead to a nasty infection. Get into the tub (or the chair) and sit comfortably with legs bent and your feet flat on the floor.

Have the girl squat on top of you with her knees bent and tucked under your armpits. Plant her feet on the seat beside you and ask your girl to hold onto your shoulders or the back of the chair for support. The movement of the water will determine how frenzied of a sex session you’ll have, but that’s not a bad thing since most women prefer a little bit of a slower experience while building to climax anyway.

CLIMAX CUE

In this position, she can control the speed and depth of penetration, and has lots of leverage to grind her clitoral head into you. If she wants more of a thrill, get your girl to tilt her pelvis towards you, and she’ll feel the G-Spot stimulation almost immediately. Or, turn on the water jets in the hot tub and sit on one, spreading your legs.

The flow will hit every girl right where she needs it, like a makeshift water vibrator. Avoid grabbing the hips and trying to push/pull. Trying to control the thrusting from this position will just be plain annoying, so don’t bother.

2. Lotus

Sit down with your legs crossed in the middle of a bed or on the floor. Your partner straddles your lap so that the girl’s legs wrap around your back and she supports herself with your arms, shoulders and torso.

Gently enter the vagina, rocking back and forth in slow motion to increase pleasure for both of you. If she finds this position to be filling her too deeply, get the girl to move back slightly on your upper thighs so she has more control over the penetration.

CLIMAX CUE

Of all the positions in this eBook, this is the one that received the gross majority of the thumbs-up votes from sex experts and couples alike. In fact, most of the educators I spoke with suggested starting with this position before trying any others, as it’s almost guaranteed with enough time to get her in the right head space and body position to cum.

The rocking movement allows for long, gliding penetration, covering the entire length of the vagina. The G-Spot receives lots of attention too, as does her clitoral hood and head because of the angle and speed. She can also press her breasts up against your body to increase the heat, and make intimate eye contact for mind-blowing bliss.

This is one of the tamer positions in this eBook, but don’t let it fool you can hold this position for hours if need be, and it’ll provide most of the stimulation she craves to get off.

3. Lie Back Lotus

Yoga aficionados will appreciate this intricate sex position. Find a comfortable spot on the floor and sit down with your legs crossed. Invite your lover to sit on your lap with her legs wrapped around your body and have her lay back on the ground, supporting her with your crossed legs.

Penetrate her, making sure that your pelvises are tightly pressed against one another, and your bodies are snug in an embrace. Grasp each other’s wrists and arch both of your backs slowly, leaning back until both of your heads touch the ground. If your penis falls out (and it may if you weren’t tightly enmeshed before you moved backwards) scoot your bum forward and slowly sit up.

Put yourself back inside her, and slowly lie back again. Your knees should prop her up mid-back, and hers should do the same for you. Move with gentle thrusts toward each other, with pelvic lifts, or subtle leg movements.

CLIMAX CUE

It might not seem like a doozie of a sex position, but this little number is something that especially that comes to mind when tantra or yoga fans talk about ‘yoking’. No, that’s not the yellow part of an egg, but rather the word that yoga aficionados use to describe an inseparable connection between two things.

In yoga this refers to the spirit and the body, but in tantra it refers to two people coming together. By lying in this position, you’re choosing to connect with your partner on a higher, more spiritual plane which for some women is crucial to sexual release.

If she tells you she doesn’t feel connected to you or that the spark is somehow lacking, try this position and see if she feels the same way afterward. My guess is that you’ll be coming together in more ways than one!

Most men don’t need a lot of convincing to try doggy style sex, but some women require a bit of encouragement because of the lack of face-to-face contact which can, at times, lead to a disconcerting disconnected feeling. Try out some of these rear-entry positions that will allow your lady lots of body contact, some unusual positioning, and a little extra bang for her buck!

1. Superwoman

If your partner has ever expressed an interest in flying, this might be a go-to position in the near future! To get into it, seat yourself on the edge of your bed with your feet planted firmly on the floor. Ask your partner to sit down on your lap with her back to you, straddle your legs with her knees on the bed.

Enter her, making sure that she’s flush up against your pubic region, then put your arms around her firmly and push her gently forward. Her legs should kick back so that they lay straight on the bed, with your arms stopping her from falling on her face. If either of you struggle to get into sex positions, try having her in doggy position at the edge of the bed, and then crouch down behind her before entering her.

It shouldn’t be too hard from that angle for you to sit down, put yourself into her, and then encourage your lover to stretch her legs out behind her. Movement occurs both with her toes pushing back against the bed to thrust, and your hands pulling her into you with your arms either around her waist or grasping tightly to her upper arms, just above the elbow.

CLIMAX CUE

There’s a lot of friction inherent in this position because of her body position and the angle of penetration. As well, you’ll have a front row seat to massage her G-Spot, and could even attempt anal sex in this position if either of you so desired. To ensure she experiences enough tension to climax, get her to grind her pelvis into your penis, and squeeze her legs around your torso.

If she gets tired, have her lean forward to prop herself up with her hands on the ground or your thighs, and use that leverage to pump into her with even more force. This position is all about rhythm, so find the right position and you’ll find her sweet spot. Just don’t go so far overboard that you launch her off the bed and flat on her face!

2. Let’s Do The Twist

Best performed on the floor, or near a couch / sturdy chair, this half twist, half hitch rear-entry position works well for women who like to grind themselves into their partner for clitoral stimulation, and for men who don’t mind lending a helping hand.
To get into position, start in standard doggy with both of your knees on the ground and her bum flush up against your genitals.

Get her to raise one of her legs with her knee bent, and stick your leg on the same side of your body underneath it to prop her leg up. She’ll need to lean over to get to the right angle, so have her bend forward slightly at the waist and hold onto whatever nearby stable piece of furniture there is.

Your partner should then scoot back so that you can enter her easily. Pull her leg back as far as it can go with your arm, so she’s really snug. Using your arm and leg as leverage, she can now rock herself on your penis and stimulate her clitoris with your leg, her free hand, or both.

CLIMAX CUE

There may not be a lot of thrusting inherent in this movement, but it will certainly set off most of her orgasmic triggers. You have G-Spot action, ample clitoral stimulation, plus an added bonus of putting her in a position that feels restrictive. This is definitely a great pose for women with submissive tendencies, maximizing the the chance of orgasm.

Holding this position for any length of time shouldn’t be too difficult for either of you, so it’s a great go-to when you want a bit of a change from normal doggy, plus it’ll give her more of what she needs to climax.

3. The Rear Snuggle

Lay down on your back with your entire body relaxed and your arms loose at your sides. Have your wife come over to you and gently lay on top of the length of your body, with her back to your stomach. Get her to bend one of her knees so that it’s off to the side, with her ankle touching your hip area, while leaving her other leg straight and ready to use as leverage. She should be resting comfortably against your torso.

Next, slide yourself into her and have her lean further back until your heads are side-by-side, cuddling into each other. Her arms should reach around the back of your head for more support, which will also arch her back in turn, giving both of you a better angle for penetration and G-Spot stimulation. With your right hand, reach over her body and stimulate her clitoral head. Once she’s really excited, start rocking back and forth in a relaxed manner to increase the friction.

CLIMAX CUE

There won’t be a lot of movement with this sex position, but that’s okay because she won’t need it. Keep yourself fully inserted into her as much as possible. If you fall out, simply ask her to arch her back more, or push against her bent leg to find a better angle. Gently stroke toward you, or have her show you with her own hand how she likes to have her clitoris stroked, and you’ll both be rocketing to orgasm in no time.

Although she could be displeased with her man in the bedroom, her lack of sexual desire and orgasms is usually related to much more than his faulty techniques and inability to give her an orgasm.

The good news is that such problems can be resolved. But for that to happen, you must be willing and able. So if she does not have a desire for sex and ability to have an orgasm is lacking, take a deep breath, blow it out, and find comfort in knowing that this problem can be fixed. Neither of you are doomed to a sex life without pleasure.

In fact, if you follow all of the steps you will be able to provide her with what she needs to “want” to have sex and to achieve orgasm. The following sex tips are a few things you can do to help ease any tension that may exist between the two of you and open her mind to exploring new sexual terrain with you:

Don’t Be Negative

If you accuse your partner of being frigid or lying there like a cold, dead fish, you’ll cause her to retreat from sex even more. So do the opposite. Lift her self-esteem and shower her with compliments (sexual and otherwise). Help her to feel comfortable about talking about her sexual issues with you by sharing all of the positive thoughts you have about her.

Don’t Pressure Her Into Having An Orgasm

Pressuring your lady to have an orgasm when she doesn’t feel like it will only make her want to avoid it more. Remove the pressure by making it clear to her that you will never get upset with her or offended if she doesn’t have an orgasm or doesn’t feel like having sex. If pressuring her, sulking or getting angry is what you’ve typically done in the past, let her know those days are over and never do it again!

Discuss The Issue With Her

Find some quiet time to have a talk with your lady about her difficulty achieving an orgasm. Tell her you’ve noticed that she doesn’t seem to climax as often as you would like for her to. Ask her why, and be sure she knows you are only trying to get some answers, not make her feel bad. Ask her some pointed questions: Is she tired or do your methods need some improvement?

Does she want more foreplay? Would a sensual massage help? Provide her with support if her inability to orgasm is due to a painful past. Let your lady know you understand. Tell her you understand how painful it must be for her. Encourage her to talk to a counselor who specializes in sexual problems in women.

Be sure not to force her to tell you every sordid detail about her experience. But let her know that you are there for her if she wants to talk. Never judge her, and do your best to avoid offering her advice. Just listen and provide her with lots of nonsexual hugs.

Tell Her How Much You Love Her

A woman never tires of hearing her man say, “I love you.” And a woman who feels loved and secure will be more likely to relax and trust enough to allow you to satisfy her deepest desires. There’s a lot you can do to sexually arouse her and provide your girl with the stimulation she needs to have an orgasm.

Just keep in mind that it doesn’t happen overnight. If bringing her to a female orgasm has been a challenge in the past, then it’s going to take some time, effort, understanding, and practice before you are able to give her the Big O.

But that’s not all it’s going to take. It’s also going to take lots of KNOWLEDGE! And that’s exactly what you’re getting by reading this book. So keep reading—the best has yet to come (no pun intended)!

What She Said:

Congratulate Yourself!

First of all, if your man is complaining of blue balls, check his ID.  No adult man would own up to the idea you are giving him blue balls.  And I have yet to know of any man who died of it.  I’m not sure it even exists.

But if for some reason your man is complaining of it, then you should congratulate him. He is obviously with one smoking hot babe that he cannot wait to get his hands all over.

So if he is “in pain,” it’s not your fault by any means. You have obviously just made him all hot and bothered. To relieve that, fool around with him.

What He Said:

Just Do It!

How do you prevent your man from getting blue balls? You drain them. On a regular basis. I know, I know, you’re not always in the mood. Maybe you’re never in the mood. Maybe he’s let himself go or maybe he’s not flirting with you or romancing you like he did when you first started dating (or before you got married).

Long term relationships are about doing things you hate because you know your other half likes or loves them. Just please them. I know you make not like oral sex or you may not be turned on enough for intercourse, but so what? Did your partner really want to spend Christmas with your family? Hell no! They hate your family! But they did it because they want their balls to be drained.

Romance is for short term love affairs. Sooner or later it goes right out the window and if it’s never happened to you, you’ve never had a relationship last long enough. If that’s you, consider yourself lucky.

You’re probably thinking “hey wait! They’re not doing [insert random sexual or non sexual task/think you really like]! Why they hell would I please them if they aren’t doing what I want?

It’s simple, grasshopper. If you help them, they will do what you want. Having sex will scramble their brain and reduces any resistance to suggestion that they have. You won’t have to tell them to do what you want. You can imply it and they will snap to attention, even if you don’t scramble their brains by giving them all the oral sex, anal sex or plain old intercourse they can handle.

Why? Because if you’re screwing them eight ways to Sunday, and you ask them to go to Starbucks and get you that half double cap red eye latte that makes them cringe when you order it, are they really going to say no? No, they won’t. They will get you your stupid frilly over priced coffee drink. Why? Because you’re screwing them! A lot!

No one is dumb enough to walk away from an ATM that’s spitting out free money. So you will get your damn latte. Or your foot massage. Or someone to cuddle with while you watch Oprah or Jersey Shore or whatever it is that you love to do that your partner would rather take a cheese grater to the genitals than participate in.

It’s a win win, right? It’s a little counter-intuitive, I know. It really doesn’t make sense. You probably think I’m crazy. Or you will, until you try it. Then you will tell anyone who will listen what an incredible genius I am (it’s true. I am a genius. Literally and figuratively).

If you do this, you will have the partner of your dreams! You’re place will never be cleaner, you’ll never be happier and it might just save your relationship! Sound hokey, no, no it’s not. Sex is like the canary in the well of your relationship. If that’s great, so’s the rest of your relationship.

Now, of course, you should be getting yours. If you have to drain your partners balls whenever and wherever, they should be helping you too. You need to get yours. You will. Because they’re getting theirs.

What most men fail to do is to admit that they have a problem. They are unwilling to seek help or bring this up with their sexual partners, hoping that the problem will go away with time. This is completely understandable, as there is a lot of stigma associated with not being able to last in bed. It is embarrassing, to say the least. It makes you feel less of a man.

Beat Premature Ejaculation

Bringing this issue out in the open is the first important step to beating premature ejaculation. Your wife, lover or girlfriend has a stake in the relationship, and you would love to give her the best in bed, don’t you? So it makes perfect sense to involve her in every way possible.

In fact, your woman would be more than willing to help you regain your confidence and ability in the sack. After all, her own sexual happiness is at stake. If you can last longer, her sexual fulfillment will potentially go UP too!

Most cases of PE arise from a lack of understanding of one’s bodily reactions to sexual stimulation. As a result, most men do not know how to control their orgasm reflexes until it is too late. Just like how you can improve various aspects of your body, beating early ejaculation is a “learned trait”. It is a skill that some men hone and perfect after consistent PRACTICE. But sadly, most men never get down to it, thinking there is nothing they can do about it.

Train For Endurance

Certain targeted techniques such as synchronized breathing, mental manipulation, and ejaculatory muscle exercises are great sex techniques to improve your stamina in the sack. While some sexual therapists charge exorbitant fees to teach you these methods, you can easily learn them on your own from home (there are plenty of good quality, informative guides online).

These methods basically condition both your mind and body to improve your ability to withstand intense stimulation and forever banish the pain and frustration of finishing too soon!

We go from limp to hard in a matter seconds. While this is great for a quickie, women typically want more than just a 5 second romp in the dressing room at Dillards. Getting your girl to the edge before you start having sex will not only make her orgasm more intense, it can keep the sex fresh. Here are a few tips for making foreplay great for her.

Slow It Down

How long is your normal regiment of foreplay? 5-10 minutes? Do you remember in college when you would hook up with a girl and you weren’t too sure if she was going to let you go all the way? Remember how you would do everything possible to get the girl so turned on that she would not be able to say no?

This is the kind of foreplay that you want to implement with your girlfriend. Slow everything down to half time. If you normally went 5-10 minutes before sex, make it 20 minutes. There is no time limit on how much you need. Get your girl to the point where she is trying to put you inside her and then stop everything. Go a little more and when she tries again, let her.

Implement Barriers

Foreplay is commonly started before sex is even an option. One of the best ways that you can get any girl begging you to have sex is to set up barriers. This is talked about a lot in pick up artist methods. Barriers are basically situations where you cannot have sex immediately. Getting started in public is one of the best methods.

When you’re out at a bar or a restaurant, start being flirty. Touch the girl in places that are socially acceptable while still being erotic. The small of the back, the stomach and the face work well. Brushing the hair out of her eyes works well too. Whisper things in her ear about how much you want to get away from the crowd. This will start to get any girl going and the fact that you can’t have sex right then and there will make it even more erotic.

Use A LOT Of Kissing

Kissing is one of the best foreplay methods out there. While kissing is primarily done on the lips, you need to spread it out. Kiss the neck and the earlobes. Some women are really into having their earlobes kissed and sucked while others will find that it tickles them. Kiss the side of her neck and collarbone and then move your way down to the chest.

Don’t go for breasts immediately. This is an amateur move.  Work your way down her chest  and kiss her breasts in a fluid motion. Remember that you want to do this slowly. Make sure that you are not just focusing on the nipple. Kiss the area between her breasts to get her really turned on.

Use Porn If She’s Into It

While porn isn’t something that every girl is going to be into, it can make for some very hot foreplay. A lot of girls love porn and others hate it. Talk to your girlfriend before you toss on a porno movie. If you don’t have any porno movies, take a trip to your local adult store and buy one together.

You never know what you will find that can spice up the sex. Let her pick one out and then you pick one out. If you’re into something a little out there like fetishes or hardcore sex, make sure that she is going to be comfortable watching it. Turn on the porn before you start having sex to get things going. Kiss her and finger her during the movie to set the mood. Remember to be slow.

Use One Of Her Sex Toys

Sex toys are another way to get foreplay going easily. Most girls have a vibrator; however, if she doesn’t you can easily buy one online. Using a vibrator on your girlfriend or allowing her to use it on herself can be extremely erotic. Remember not to focus on just using the toy on her.

Kiss her and suck on her breasts. Kiss her neck and her stomach while you’re using the toy to enhance her experience. Most vibrators come with a clitoral stimulator. If the vibrator you have does not have a clitoral stimulator, pull it out and rub it on her clitoris to get her ready for you.

Some of these positions offer fantastic clitoral stimulation, while others give her G-Spot a run for its money. All of them allow your lover to take charge and do whatever works for her: fast, slow, vibrating, gliding, pounding, gentle, rhythmic, circular… why not try them all and see what works best?

One word of advice for men that find they have a tendency to slip out: get her to swivel around so that she’s either 90 (facing to the side) or 180 degrees  (facing the opposite direction) turned from where she started normally. This small adaptation makes a world of difference.

1. The Sprinter’s Stretch

Lay comfortably on your back with your legs spread and your knees bent up off the bed. Your arms should rest comfortably at your side. Have her sit on top in traditional woman on top position while having sex. From this position, have her put one foot flat on the ground with her knee raised as if she were squatting.

Get your lover to lean forward towards the foot that’s planted while she extends her other leg behind her. This leg should end up between your legs, and everything from her knee to her foot should touch the bed.

When done correctly, she’ll look like she’s stretching out on top of you in lunge position, and she’ll have lots of room to push back, forth, up, down and side to side while thrusting.

You can rest your hands on her hips as she glides you inside of her to help keep her steady and foster an intimate connection. After a while, remind her to switch legs so that they both get a good, equal stretching workout without any cramps. She may not notice when she has become uncomfortable until it’s too late.

CLIMAX CUE

This is one of the best positions in this eBook for clitoral stimulation during sex, and every woman who struggles to come during intercourse should try it at some point. She’ll receive deep penetration but can control just how deep you go into her with minute precision.

She can move in every direction because of the angle and positioning of her legs. She can grind her love button into your lower torso, and really give it the attention she needs to climax. You can help by holding onto her hips, playing with her breasts, or making sure that her labia lips are parted so that her clitoral head gets stimulated.

2. The Hot Rocker

Lie back on a rocking chair so that your shoulders are positioned at the base where the seat meets the back. Prop your head up and place the small of your back at the end of the chair seat with your buttocks and legs hanging off.

Place your feet firmly on the ground with your knees bent at a 180 degree angle, then ask your partner to straddle you with both of her feet also steady on the ground and put your penis inside of her. Hold her arms for balance, and then get her to lift her legs so that she hooks her ankles around your knees or calves, depending on what’s comfortable.

You should now be holding her entire body weight with your pelvis, knees and shoulders on the rocking chair. Keeping your back straight and erect is crucial to the success of this position, so it may help to find a rocking chair that has a deep seat so your hips and shoulders both fit.

Move by tilting your groin up, rocking your entire body, or lifting your heels. She can also rock the both of you by moving her head and torso back and forth in a swing-like motion.

CLIMAX CUE

You’ll have the leg control in this position, but she can easily maneuver herself exactly to create the right amount of friction by tilting her pelvis forward slightly and making sure she’s positioned on your penis just a bit higher than she normally would be.

It isn’t one of the sex positions that either of you will be able to sustain for long periods of time, unless your lower back is supported and she’s sitting higher on your penis than normal (or, I suppose, if you are both champion athletes!), but the feeling of weightlessness for her and the powerful strokes you can give her might just send her around the moon.

What She Said:

Every Woman is Different

Some like sex fast slow, hard, less hard etc. It’s impossible for a man to instant know EVERYTHING that a woman likes in bed even if you are getting sex tips all the time. But if he pays attention to her while in the act he can pick up on what’s working at what is not. One thing that a lot of women hate in bed is “Everything that you “once saw in a porno.’

Porn sex is not like real sex. Just because Misty McBigbush likes you to pull her hair while you slam into her doggie style, does not mean the girl from accounting is going to like that. Porn is super over the top in the sex movements and the sizes of woman’s throats.

That being said, if she wants to take your penis and put it in her mouth, you don’t have to grab her by the head and thrust it down her throat. That might make her mad and you are in no position to have her bite you.

A clue to see if she likes what you are doing is to watch her body. If she likes what your tongue is doing between her legs, she will make noises to let you know and most likely buck her hips towards you.

If she doesn’t like it, she will squirm away. Her voice is also key to whether or not you are hitting her sweet spot. Moaning and heavy breathing is a huge thumbs up, and if you hear a “yes” your golden.

She also hates sleeping in the wet spot. WE are adults we know if happens but please have the decency to lay down a towel and sleep on it yourself.

What He Said:

Don’t Rely On Porno Moves!

The truth is the biggest lie porn has ever told is perpetuating the myth of the female orgasm. We all know it’s not the role of women in sex to enjoy it. You’re just supposed to lay there and pretend it’s not happening, because either

A) We’re going to buy you stuff to get you to lay there

B) We already have. So seriously, just lay there and go to your happy place. Is that so hard?

It’s actually quite simple. Women will never tell you sex tips verbally, but they can’t help telling you physically. If she makes a face that looks like she’s constipated and stepping in dog crap simultaneously, you should probably not do that ever again, and work quickly to recover.

You may crash and burn several times, but be willing to fail. If she really likes you, you’ll get another chance and as long as you show improvement or a willingness to improve, you’ll get another crack at it and by “it” I mean, well, you can figure it out.

She may not tell you what she’s into, but just figuring out from body language what she doesn’t like is a huge help. Once you cross that off the list, then you can move on to what she is into.

Even if she’s the type to tell you straight out that you’re hitting the spot, if you’re doing it right, she will probably be too in the moment and wrapped up in pleasure to really communicate. If you’re doing it right, it should seem like your having sex with a person currently consumed by demonic possession.

Nice girls will suddenly shout out curse words or dig their nails into your back. Atheists will start talking to God, but not actually say anything to God, only repeating God’s name over and over and over and over. It may freak you out, but just go with it.

Even if she’s not talking, she will often guide you. If you’re performing oral sex on her, and she holds your head in place so you can’t come up for air, this is a good thing, if she lets you up to fuck her, well, maybe not so much, but you probably already know what she’s into on a gut level, you just have to tune into it a bit more. But it’s worth the practice.

You Could Be A Premature Ejaculator If:

1. You come to an orgasm within 2 minutes of intercourse

2. You are unable to sexually fulfill your female partner on more than 50% of the occasion

3. Your inability to last long enough is causing distress to you or your partner

But really, you do not need to feel embarrassed or humiliated if you are suffering from premature ejaculation. This is not a form of illness or disease, and the fact that you are among 20 to 40 percent of all men who have to deal with this issue means that you are not alone in this.

And the sooner you recognize that you need help, the faster you will resolve this problem and enjoy the kind of long lasting sex that you know you deserve.

So What Is Considered A Good PE Treatment?

When evaluating the treatment options best suited for you, I suggest you take these 2 criteria into consideration:

1. The treatment provides a PERMANENT cure instead of just a short-term solution

2. The treatment should be natural and relies on your body’s natural responses to improve your sexual stamina.

Common Premature Ejaculation Treatments

These are some of the common “cures” for PE. Let us examine if they are really effective and provide a long-term solution to your early ejaculation.

1. Anti-depressants – There are plenty on the market, with notable ones such as Prozac and Paxil. Are they worth your time? Well, these drugs do work, but they come with unintended consequences – such as the loss of libido or even difficulty in ejaculating.

You have to consume these pills or drugs on a daily basis. Plus they don’t work if you take them just before having sex. Before taking on these drugs, it is best that you consult a doctor about the potential side effects and if they are the best option for you.

2. Numbing Applicators Creams, Lotions and Sprays - These are popular solutions among men suffering from PE. They do work, but these are more of temporary quick fixes that do not permanently cure your early ejaculation problem.

They can be useful if you need extra endurance at a moment’s notice, but solutions such as desensitizing creams have the potential to dull or lower the sensations you and your partner will experience during sex.

3. Naturally “Re-Wire” Your Ejaculatory Response - This is a permanent treatment and addresses the root causes of your premature ejaculation. It encompasses a natural, time-tested training routine that conditions your body to withstand sexual stimulation and prolong your ejaculation.

You will not see immediate results, but you will definitely experience permanent effects of lasting longer in bed, every single time.

1. The Sensual Type

The sensual woman is an emotional creature and sex is a pure expression of her love for you. She adores the exotic when it comes to exploring the finer things in life, so don’t be surprised if she enjoys feeling champagne bubbles on her skin or the taste of fresh fruit and chocolate during foreplay.

2. The Erotic Type

Eroticism is defined by its intensity. An erotic libido demands the extraordinary – something breathtaking and adventurous. This woman probably won’t turn down “ordinary” sex, but to really grab her attention it needs to have that spark.

3. The Dependent Type

A dependent libido understands sex as a way to relieve stress and relax. A woman thus inclined is likely to become upset and frustrated without frequent release, but may not always be willing to initiate. To avoid the cycle of abstinence – then fighting over a lack of sex drive – then make-up-sex release, you may want to try adding some other regular physical activity to your routine.

Try going for hikes or playing a sport together to invigorate that competitive spirit and warm up your bodies, minds and emotions before letting go.

4. The Reactive Type

This sexual personality is rarely aroused before their partner. They will almost never instigate sex through foreplay, but can have an active sex life if their lover takes the lead. It can take a lot longer to get things going, but don’t fret! Showing and telling your wife how turned on you are by her is a surefire way to ignite her flame.

5. The Entitled Type

Hopefully neither you nor your wife fall into this category. This kind of lover doesn’t really believe they have any responsibility to pleasure their partner, or believes their skills are better than they truly are, and so feels as if they are entitled to receive pleasure but don’t actually give any back. This type of lover holds and resonates loving sexual energy, but never replicates or reciprocates it. In short, the entitled libido is selfish, ignorant or both. It’s time to do something different, right?

6. The Addictive Type

This kind of person tends to get sex-obsessed. It is an absolutely necessary component of their day-to-day lives, often to the detriment of other areas, including relationships. Addictive lovers are prone to cheating and may have a difficult time maintaining relationships if they cannot overcome their emotional dependence on sexual pleasure. Discovering their true sexual and emotional potential will help them recover from addiction and learn to enjoy a healthy, regular sex life without feeling desperate.

7. The Stressed Type

A stressed out lover is no fun for anyone, so if this describes you or your wife, some immediate change is necessary! This kind of libido is going to be very low, because sex is an uncomfortable event filled with anxiety. Pressure to perform and worries of inadequacy make true intimacy nearly impossible. This person needs to do some real soul searching and work towards coming to accept their body and having their body accepted by others.

8. The Disinterested Type

Sometimes the result of past sexual distress, sometimes the product of a very low libido, some men and women are just not very interested in sex and orgasm. This, of course, does not mean they don’t enjoy intimate touch! Some women do not enjoy the thrusting of a penis inside them, but instead find great pleasure in oral sex, mutual masturbation and the skillful manual manipulation of a coochie connoisseur, and don’t mind reciprocating for an eager lover.

9. The Detached Type

A detached lover doesn’t necessarily dislike sex, but rather tends to forget about it when it is on the back burner. Even if they feel sexual, they may tend to spend a few minutes with masturbation rather than initiate sex, because of the time it would take away from the things currently occupying their mind. With this kind of partner, it can be important to make dates.

Take time away from the TV, the computer, Addictive lovers are prone to cheating and may have a difficult time maintaining relationships if they cannot overcome their emotional dependence on sexual pleasure. the kids and the kitchen; turn off the cell phones and lock the doors (or better yet, go somewhere special away from it all!) and get your minds focused on each other.

10. The Compulsive Type

Folks with fetishes and problems with chronic masturbation tend to fall in this category, where sex is only really enjoyable if they are able to follow a specific ritual. This need is often psychosomatic and can easily be adapted to work in a relationship.

Most women who are only able to achieve orgasm through one specific act or movement can learn to achieve orgasm in other ways if the sensation is altered over time – in other words, if you spend enough time fingering her while she uses her vibrator, she can probably learn to orgasm just from your hands, without the use of the vibrator!

But consider this – more than being instruments of vision, eyes have the ability to make somebody feel self-conscious and uncomfortable at a distance. Ever been slapped just by looking at a lady a certain way?

The Eyes Say It All

• The eyes can betray a man’s lack of sexual confidence.
• They reveal his cluelessness as to where her clitoris really is.
• They can say, “Wow!” quicker than a dropped jaw can.
• They reveal how his balls ascended up his throat after ejaculating inside fertile Amy.

Through the eyes, one can invoke serious sexual intent. You can gaze into her soul and proclaim the sensual pleasures about to envelop her body. Eyes reveal your ache for her breasts and curves, they announce your confidence, competence and awareness of what’s about to happen.

One woman required her partner to keep eye contact 85% of the time whenever they are having sex. That way, she doesn’t feel like a sex toy or a glorified giver of sexual favors. They want to be seen.

If you’ve ever been accused of being passionless, unaffected and indifferent in bed – simply increase the eye contact. There might be other goodies to scope on a naked woman, but looking at her eyeballs is just as important and pleasurable.

Increase Intimacy With Eye Contact

To increase and strengthen the bond between couples, there has to be an increase in the frequency and duration of eye contacts. Psychologists have learned that the more a couple gazes at each other, the more drawn and attracted they are to each other.

Moreover, closely acquainted individuals don’t talk through their mouths, but through their eyes. It’s the “I know what you’re thinking” bit. Through eye locks, you can actually be strangers but feel like you’ve been together forever.

Men who intuitively know the power of eye contact may have deliberately disconnected by avoiding them altogether. The absence of intimacy means less complications and an easy transition to the next one-night stand.

Increase Vulnerability With Eye Contact

Just as strong as the desire to be seen, is the fear of being fully known. Eye contacts make her very vulnerable. Actually, it makes both of you vulnerable) With deep eye locks, she’s not only exposing her face, pimples and everything, but her thoughts as well.

Her eyes will be screaming her thoughts. You can see through her, beyond the façade, and that makes her feel very vulnerable. But this is really good news. Believe it or not, vulnerability is an element of hot sex.

Be A Multi-Tasker

Multi-tasking basically means the man does more than one thing at the same time. For example, he may be penetrating the vagina while also stimulating the clitoris by pressing his pubic bone against, also called “grinding.” This is a great method for the woman to reach orgasm.

If the couple wants to achieve orgasm at or near the same time, this is clearly the best option. Other couples I’ve met with have resorted to taking turns, meaning one partner will climax first, then the other. Depending on how each person best reaches orgasm, this may be a possibility, but for couples that enjoy climaxing together, this may not be a satisfactory option.

Experiment With Her Orgasm

The best thing about clitoral orgasms is that they can be achieved in many different ways. Because the entire area is highly sensitive, experimenting with these types of orgasms can also add some interest and spice to sexual relationships, which may have become routine and boring over time.

The main benefit of experimenting is that you’ll learn just what makes your woman tick—sexually speaking, of course. While some women prefer direct stimulation, others find it uncomfortable and prefer to have the area around the clitoris stimulated instead. Women who have learned how to have an orgasm through masturbation will generally have a much better idea of what type of stimulation they prefer than women who have not.

Know Her Orgasm

As I mentioned above, the clitoris fills up with blood and becomes erect like a penis. This means it’s much more noticeable when a woman is aroused. Because the clitoris does not need to be erect for sexual intercourse to occur, clitoral orgasms will only happen if the woman is properly aroused.

That means some type of foreplay is generally a requirement. With continuous stimulation of the clitoris, it becomes more engorged with blood and this further heightens its sensitivity. As stimulation continues, a point is reached when all of the tension in the area must be released—the point in which an orgasm is experienced.

1. Backwards Beauty

Sit up on a firm surface with your legs straight out in front of you, knees slightly bent, and your spine erect. Get your partner to sit on your lap, straddling your thighs, with her back to you. Insert your penis into her vagina, and then gently push her forward so that she’s lying face down along your legs, with her legs out straight behind her.

Move her along your penis by pushing her hips and getting her to pull on your ankles in a rhythmic motion. For more clitoral stimulation, get her to rotate her pelvis from forward to backwards, arching her back the entire time.

CLIMAX CUE

There’s a lot of friction for your partner in this position; not only does she get her clitoris rubbed by your balls and root, but she can control the amount and depth of penetration too.

If she finds she’s not getting enough clitoral stimulation, have her raise her rear slightly and arch her back, then pull her further back into you snugly. Sex toys work beautifully here as well, since it’ll get trapped between your bodies without a lot of wiggle room.

2. Closed Legs

If your partner faces down with her legs straight and spread only a little bit, with her bottom tilted up slightly, you can put your legs on either side of hers, and enter her from behind. Once settled in, ask her to close her legs and cross her ankles so you’re really trapped inside her all snug and tight.

CLIMAX CUE

She’ll feel every inch of you as you pull in and out of her – a plus since there isn’t a lot of room for movement with this position. As an added bonus, you can easily reach under her and play with her breasts or clitoris, and still have the right angle to whisper sweet nothings in her ear, or kiss and nibble at her neck. Really, there isn’t much you can do wrong with this position, especially if you’re both a fan of rear entry.

3. Doggy Walking

Before trying this position, I didn’t enjoy doggy style sex much at all. I found it difficult to orgasm, felt disconnected from my partner, and way too exposed to the elements. It took me several years to find a rear-entry position that worked well for me, and this is definitely my current favorite.

Why? Because I’m in control, receive both G-Spot and clitoral stimulation, and feel very grounded while performing it. My partner doesn’t complain either, as he’s got fantastic view of the action. Here’s how to try doggy.

Walking and get the most out of the position’s angle. Set yourselves up in standard doggy position. Enter your partner, and then lean back with your hands on the floor to stabilize.

She should move back a bit to tuck her bum right up against your pelvis, and straddle one or both of your thighs with her clitoral area flush and snug against your leg(s). Move by thrusting your hips up or have her push her hips back against you. Alternatively, she can grind into you to control clitoral stimulation.

CLIMAX CUE

Because you’re entering her from the rear, you’ll be stimulating her G-Spot nicely. Play on the sensation by thrusting up instead of across her body like you normally would, and see if you can feel the G-Spot’s spongy mass increase in size as she gets more into it.

Use both your arms and legs to really push yourself into her, but try and keep your pelvic areas meshed with one another the entire time. It wouldn’t hurt if she wiggled her buttocks from side to side, intertwining your squishy bits all the more. Let her choose the tempo of your movements, and try lifting one of your legs a bit to see if it helps rub her nub even more.

4. Chair Over

Get a sturdy chair with no arms and ask your partner to lie down on it, so that her legs and arms are touching the ground and her belly is on the seat. If she can’t reach the floor with both her hands and her feet, then have her hang her legs down. Try to get her pubic mound in line with the edge of the chair.

Kneel behind her and put your penis inside of her, then thrust a few times until you get a rhythm going. Hold on to her legs if you’d like, or get her to push back against your legs with her feet. Let her breasts dangle over the edge of the chair, so they don’t get squished.

CLIMAX CUE

This position is guaranteed to get her blood really pumping hard, which might make her a bit light headed. On top of all that, she can rub up against the chair with her pelvis, getting some extra stimulation (and maybe even clitoral stimulation depending on your angle and height).

The feeling of weightlessness with you behind her will surely make her feel amazing; you can even try pulling her hair gently and see how she reacts!

5. The Wheelbarrow

Get your partner to bend over the side of a bed or sturdy couch with her body pressed against it and her legs on the floor. As you enter her from behind and between her legs, hold her legs just above the knees and lift. Her body should still be partially on the bed, but she’ll literally be suspended on your penis.

Encourage her to keep her legs straight, as it makes the position a lot easier to hold. If she gets tired she can bend her knees and place her ankles on the bed for support. Use her hands to push back against her and thrust into her while holding her hips firmly. She won’t get to move around much, but the angle is one of the best available for G-Spot stimulation, so it may not take long for her to climax.

So to give an excellent erotic massage, you need to imbibe 3 specific attitudes:

1. Be in the Moment

For the commercially available masseur, touching her is a job, and they have done it to several other clients that day. But for you, touching the beloved is a delight, you don’t count minutes as you’re not being paid by the hour.

Effect slow, leisurely motions and take in the sensual bombardment.

Make no mistake, giving the sensual massage is just as blissful as receiving it. In spite being the giver, notice how your senses get bombarded with stimulation, feel through your palms the softness and suppleness of her body.

Delight your eyes at the curves of her of illuminated form. Smell the tingling scent of oil rising from her skin and be attuned to her breaths and moans of rapture. Take this all in and you’ll find that giving the massage is just as great.

In Sensual Massage, both partners win!

2. Confidence

Don’t go touching your partner’s body as if it’s the first time you’ve held a girl. The worst thing is to give off that vibe of uncertainty – she’ll catch it. Instead of melting and succumbing to your touch, she’ll get self-conscious and uptight. Not good for your cause.

Lead with confidence, move with control. You’re not putting on a show. Women know it if a guy has confidence. When having sex, SLOOOOW is how confident and controlled men execute. This is not yet the time to gallop like a run-away pony. Don’t worry, she’ll feel your kick later.

3. Breath Regularly & Deeply

Yes, breathing is an attitude. And a pretty important one at that.

It does sound like the most basic thing, but breathing is also the most important. Everything starts with the way you breathe. When you take in oxygen, you’re replenishing life forces in your body, and if there’s one thing I want you to learn about Sensual Massage, and sex in general, it is to breathe regularly and deeply. Observe how a sleeping person does it, that’s the kind of relaxed and leisurely affair we’re gunning for.

The arts of Tantra and meditation have proper breathing as their cornerstone. Attitudes 1 & 2 won’t even be possible if not for #3. Good luck being sensual and confident while panting delirious. (Many today live on shallow and quick breath cycles – and they still wonder why their days are always tense and nervous.)

Respiratory rate affects the rest of your body, getting fresh and ample amount of oxygen relaxes your muscles, for example. And observe how slowing down movements becomes really easy when you also slow down your breathing. Emotions, like anger, are held stable through regular and deep supply of air – as it’s very difficult to get mad when your breathing is as steady as a Uranium clock.

Be open, ask your wife which of the many techniques that she has experienced turn her on the fastest. Don’t worry about her finding the question awkward; she’s been waiting to hear it from you for years, but you haven’t afforded her a safe place to be explicitly asked about this delicate issue.

Knowing that she has an easier time coming all by herself, it can be easy to feel rejected and replaced. You’ve heard that old joke, right? “Why did God create man?” “Because a vibrator can’t mow the lawn.” That may be true – I’ve seen some pretty ridiculous contraptions in my search for sexual fulfillment, but none that could cut the grass!

But for women, sex isn’t a separate part of our existence. Lust isn’t distinct from our love and respect for you. These emotions intertwine and are incredibly complex. Here are 3 sex tips for better relationships.

1. A Vibrator Can’t Cuddle

Yes, sometimes when we are hot and bothered, when we need to relax and focus or fall fast asleep, masturbating is preferable. Sometimes we all just want to be alone – you too, right? But there is a clear distinction between the easiest way to orgasm, and the most enjoyable sexual experience. Sexpert Tracey Cox points out that “there is a reason why we jump through extraordinarily complicated hoops to not only make someone like us, but lust after us – it might be harder to have an orgasm with another person but it’s usually far superior quality.”

2. Throw Out the Calendar

What kind of hoops have you been jumping through? Sex schedules, couch cuddling sessions, couple’s therapy, a bevy of skills workshops – your brain is probably so full of new techniques that it’s ready to explode! Throw out that calendar. Women want the type of orgasms that are hot, exciting, intense, and don’t interfere with their afternoon workout and getting dinner on the table! The only way to ensure you are prepared for hot sex is to master one mind-blowing skill at a time.

3. Be a Musician, Not a Technician

You’ve warmed your wife up and she is primed and ready with you between her legs. As one hand heads for her soft bits, you run down the list of techniques to try in your head. You are so preoccupied with what’s next in your arsenal that you can’t really tell if she’s enjoying herself or not. You don’t bother to ask, because you’re too concerned with transitioning into the next move, and acting out the lie that you’re best for her as a “strong, silent type”.

A technician keeps a list of jobs he needs to get done and checks each one off in a row, making sure he hits every point until the machine in front of him is “fixed”. While an indispensable part of being a good man in day-to-day life, darling, this is not a sexy skill. Kim Cattrall writes that “the musician who never gets past technique never really plays music”. You need to be fit and finessed enough to know a few techniques really well when having sex. When you are a master at making love, you can have dozens of skills in your arsenal, but only when you can do them all well.

And the worse enemy behind longer-lasting sex is performance anxiety. Many men finish too quickly in bed because they fear they cannot perform to their partner’s expectations. These sex tips will tackle the nervous and anxious about their own abilities before the lovemaking even begins. Negative thoughts start to creep up on their minds. For example:

“Will I last long enough this time round?”
“I hope I don’t blow early again”
“I think I can’t please her enough”

Do you know what these negative thoughts will do? It will play out exactly what you fear most – an early ejaculation! These simple tricks will help you overcome your endurance shortcoming…

1. Cognitive Exercises

Imagine yourself with the natural ability to last as long as you want. How does that feel like? What will that do to your sex life? Will that give your woman the best sex of her life (I bet it will!)? You are what you think. The way your thoughts are played out during sex have a tremendous impact on the actual outcome and how long you last. So think positively!

2. See The Bigger Picture

Chill out! Your sex life does NOT end with premature ejaculation. There is always another time to have a go at it again. The quicker you realize this, the sooner your anxieties will disappear. PE is not a lifelong disease. With the right conditioning strategies, you can completely stop early ejaculation and enjoy longer-lasting sex every time!

3. Open Up!

Communication is KEY in any long term relationship, even more so when it comes to making love. Talk to your partner about your anxieties. Share with her what you are frustrated about. Most men never open up to their partners. But if you do, you will be pleasantly surprised to know that she will have her own anxieties about sex too.

Just like you, your woman will be wondering if she’s pleasing you enough during sex, or if you are enjoying her company! So don’t fret about you being the only one who does not measure up!

1. The Coital Assignment Technique

Most sex experts suggest this position as a regular staple to ensure your climax, because it focuses on giving you lots of clitoral action at an angle beneficial for deep, highly enjoyable vaginal thrusting which strokes the clitoral complex. This positions is also great for intimacy. When you can master this subtle but oh-so-effective movement while on your back, you can try it in all sorts of sex positions to enhance the experience.

Start by lying flat on your back. Open your legs to accommodate your lover’s body while he’s putting his penis inside of you. Take your partner’s hips and pull them towards yours, while tilting your own hips upwards like you’re trying to touch your navel to your partner’s pubic mound. Your back will round and you may need a pillow under your hips for comfortable support. Next, have your lover move his body up as much as possible while still keeping his penis inside of you.

You want the weight of your partner’s body propped up by his hands and your pubic mound grinding into his. With each thrust, have your partner focus on rubbing the fleshy part of his body just above where his penis meets the flesh along your vagina. Most women find this action and angle rhythmically pleasing and just enough pressure to come.

2. The Arch Opener

While lying on your back, have your partner place himself over you. Open your legs and have him lie on top of you like he would in missionary style. Once he’s inside you, raise your hips up so that you’re almost in a crab position. Your lover’s body weight rests on your feet, shoulders and the length of your arms.

When you are comfortably raised, put your arms up around your head,  and have your lover hold your wrists to make a box-like shape with your upper limbs and shoulders. You can now use this frame as leverage to push back against your partner, in order to better grind your pelvis into his body for more clitoral action.

3. The Sit Up

When in missionary style, prop yourself up on your elbows so that it lifts your back off the bed. If you needs a bit of help, have your partner support your back with his hands by wrapping his arms around you. As he thrusts in and out of you, sit up even more, tilting your pelvis upwards, and then slowly laying back down again on your back. You’ll essentially perform continuous, assisted sit ups!

4. Legs To the Side

Pretend you’re having sex missionary style, but put your legs straight up in the air instead. It might be easier for you if you place a pillow under your head, but it’s not mandatory. Kneel down and just before your partner enters you, and take both of your legs and push them to the side, keeping them straight as possible. Your partner can use his hands to support himself if need be, or he can place his hands on the bed with his elbows out so you can rest her legs on them occasionally.

5. The Pretzel Cue

Lay on your back and lift your legs, pushing them back toward you a bit so that your knees are around your ears – keep in mind, only the most flexible women will be able to get their legs back this far, so take it easy. Have your partner push back slightly so that your back is off the bed yet still curled up.

Have your lover get comfortable between your legs, and he will press his knees up underneath you against your back, to help prop you up even higher. Have him Lean in and press his body against the backs of your thighs; you may want him to hold onto your legs for support and to keep you both in position. When he penetrates you, start to rock slowly, without him putting too much weight on your body from above, which could injure your lower back.

6. The Countertop Toe Curler

You’ve likely had sex already while you’re lying on something other than the bed, but this position takes things to a whole new level. You’ll see what I mean when you’re in this position. To perform it, lie back on a firm place: a couch, countertop, car hood or even a raised bed works. The tricky part is that when the man stands up straight, you want his pelvic region about a foot higher than yours if you’re lying flat on your back.

Have him get down on his knees if you need to, prop yourself up with pillows, or have him bend his  knees a bit to make sure the height difference works. While you’re lying flat on your back, have him move himself in between your legs. Put your ankles on his shoulders, and tilt your pelvis up towards the ceiling so your body is like a flat plank.

Sex furniture is great for this sort of positioning, especially if  you’ve never moved like this before. Only your shoulders and ankles should touch anything, with the rest of your body perfectly straight. He can grab under your hips to hold onto you while he thrusts into you, giving you both some leverage and support to keep elevated.

7. Legs Together Now

Start off in traditional missionary position. Have your lover keep his penis inside you with his body off the bed and his legs spread. Maneuver your legs in between his, while he focuses on staying inside you. Eventually, both his knees will sit outside of yours, and he’ll be crouched over you with your legs straight underneath him for better sex.

This is a shallow penetration position although your lover can increase the depth of thrusting by lying on top of you and using his arms to prop himself up. This hot sex position offers fantastic clitoral stimulation and a really tight fit for the both of you.

8. Two Chair Ride

You need two high-backed chairs to attempt this sex position, ones with firm armrests that offer a bit of padding for you. Place them side by side, close together, with a few inches between two of the arms. Stand between the two chairs, facing one with your back to the other.

From here, have your lover support you so that you can lean back, your shoulders resting on the arm rest furthest from your body, and your hips braced against the other arm behind you. Have him leave one leg on the floor between the chairs to brace you and add tension, while his leg that is closest to the backs of the chairs splays across armrests in front of you in a comfortable position.

To complete intercourse, he will lie with you so that his upper body is flat against yours. Have him brace his hands against the chair if need be, and have him lift the leg closest to the back of the chair to meet yours. Intertwine legs so that you can use his leg to push against while he’s thrusting.

1. Women Can Only Reach Orgasm Through Vaginal Intercourse

This is a myth that has caused many men and women over the years to take the sexual needs of a woman for granted. This myth was actually started by Sigmund Freud, the developer of psychoanalysis. Through his research, he discovered that women could easily reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation.

But Freud dismissed this type of stimulation as juvenile, as he believed it was important for women to become more sexually mature by focusing only on vaginal stimulation to reach orgasms. The problem is that the vagina was not designed for orgasms. It does not have the concentrated nerve endings that one finds in the clitoris or in the head of a penis.

As a result of Freud’s determination, women who could not reach orgasm through vaginal intercourse were considered to have some type of psychological impairment. All sorts of methods and devices were devised in an attempt to “liberate” women from their reliance on the clitoris for sexual pleasure, many of which failed.

2. Only Women Fake Orgasms

It’s important for both men and women to realize that orgasms are not going to happen during every sexual encounter. As a result, women aren’t the only ones faking things. Studies show that about one-fifth of men admit to having a fake orgasm with a partner at one time or another.

Their reasons were the same as women’s: they didn’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings, they were tired and wanted to get it over with, etc. Orgasms don’t always come easily in a partnership. Even though masturbation often results in an orgasm every time, it’s important to remember that it’s simply because you’re already feeling aroused (which is the reason you’re masturbating in the first place) and you also know your body and what gets you off.

3. Men Only Care About Their Own Pleasure

This myth was probably true at some point in the past, but today more and more men worry about their role as lovers. Many strive to give their partners a sexual experience that’s just as pleasurable (if not more) as what they hope to experience themselves.

The only reason this myth continues to persist is a lack of understanding of female climax and how to help women achieve them. This isn’t something men and women are taught in sex education classes. And even if you asked your father, you’d probably still be left in the dark.

Every woman’s body is different, so even if you figured out how to give one partner mind-blowing orgasms, those same techniques might not work with another.

The key to knowing what’s sexually stimulating to your partner is communication. In an honest, caring relationship, the easier it is to share your thoughts and feelings, the easier it will be to experience a pleasurable sex life.

4. Most Couples Have Great Sex Every Time

Why does everyone else’s sex life appear to be better than yours? It could be because you’re at different stages of your relationships. You can’t compare sex from a six-month relationship to a six-year-been-there-done-that relationship. Our nervous system is designed to become desensitized to things that we routinely receive stimulation from. That’s not to say that long-term sex can’t be as pleasing—it’s just different.

If you and your lady know all the right buttons to push with each other (and you should after all that practice!), orgasm is often guaranteed and sex can still be very loving and passionate. My guess is that you wouldn’t be able to hold down a job with the amount of energy it would take you to sustain such a sex life.

5. Sex Is The Most Important Part Of A Relationship

Couples can only spend so much time in a relationship having sex. So if you love someone for more than just sex, you have no choice but to relate to each other on other levels. Sex is, indeed, a very important part of a relationship. However, most people (including men) have other needs, usually divided equally.

When you look at it this way, although sex tends to be a man’s number one need, it still accounts for only 25% of what he needs in life to be happy. Based on a variety of surveys and studies on long term relationships, approximately 20% of men believe that mind-blowing sex is “crucial,” whereas the other 80% look at it as “the icing on the cake” of a healthy relationship.

The Paradox Of Finishing Too Fast

Great sex often finishes too quickly. That is one problem facing most guys in the bedroom. This is also something that I have grappled with for a long time. I am just glad I don’t have to face this problem any more. You see, when you come to an early climax during sex, it makes your partner question your masculinity. You appear weak in her eyes.

Worse still, at the subconscious level, she will begin to look around for guys that can truly please her in bed. But here’s something that I discovered when I was a quick shooter.

I remembered I was pretty nervous when sex comes around, and the fear and anxiety made it practically impossible for me to have intercourse for more than a few seconds. It was just too embarrassing, even to think about it.

Hold Her Responsible For Your Early Climax (No Kidding!)

When a guy finishes too soon during sex, there are two ways a woman will think about the situation: she will think that the guy is really lousy. OR, she may think she is so incredibly hot that the guy just lost control.

But here’s the thing. Most women are so insecure about themselves that the first scenario is far more likely – unless in the first place you give her the idea that she is HOT!

So, if you come to an orgasm too quickly, be completely cool about it, and tell her “that has never happened to me, and I never thought a woman could do that to me, until you came along!”

Something magical happens when you assure her that you are totally attracted to her and enjoy her company and body immensely. Your woman will feel completely comfortable and secure about her own sexuality… and will be drawn by your masculinity too!

This is extremely powerful and a great way to turn the tables on your quick ejaculation. The sex may be over too soon, but believe me, she will remember that quick-fire sex as totally mind-blowing! But you better do better next time… else she finds someone else who does!

How She Comes

The most frequent sex act reported by couples is by far coitus, yet only 6% of women report being able to orgasm from penile stimulation alone. Even with clitoral stimulation or vibration, only 29% of women are able to orgasm every time they have sex. Your hands may not be the most obvious sex organ, but the science is clear – 34% of women say that masturbation with their hands or rubbing up against something is their preferred way to reach orgasm.

In the heat of the moment, when she is panting from your foreplay and begging for more, your penis isn’t necessarily what she means. Tradition says that variety is the spice of life. Switching to your brand new “swirly whirl” technique just as she’s about to come will probably stop her dead in her tracks.

Trying new sex positions and different stimulation keeps things interesting, but when it comes to making her come, all the tricks in the book can’t replace the dexterity and strength required for the consistent movement that will bring her over the edge. She has had decades of practice at this subtle movement. If you don’t learn to mimics her own masturbation, she’ll be left wanting. In the heat of the moment, when she is panting from your foreplay and begging for more, your penis isn’t necessarily what she means.

One Way or Another

Do you have a defeatist all-or-nothing attitude when it comes to sex? Do you pass up the chance to get down and dirty for the sake of scheduling, or do you take the time to play when the opportunity arises? When I used to wake up in the morning and try to cuddle with my husband, he would always push me away.

We were so busy that he didn’t think we had time for all the hard work he would have to put in to getting an erection and having an orgasm, so he didn’t even want to bother touching me. Making love is supposed to be an emotional, shared experience and shouldn’t be relegated to goal-oriented time slots when you can run the full routine.

Foreplay, intercourse and orgasm are a great combination, but each activity is also enjoyable on its own. Sometimes my husband and I have time to kiss and fondle, sometimes there’s only a few minutes for a rushed quickie, and other days we may have a long, luxurious afternoon to tease and please each other.

Don’t push away the chance to make your wife feel good because you’re worried you won’t get off in the process!

The Dirty Thirties

While people in their thirties tend to be a bit more adventurous, they are also on average much busier than their younger (or older!) counterparts. Young children are incredibly demanding of both time and energy, and according the sexpert Tracey Cox, the average parenting couple have sex around once a month and if that frequency rises as the child ages, it does not start to for several years.

This kind of physical rift in a relationship can cause long term emotional and physical problems that permeate the later years of a marriage, especially if cuddling, kissing and foreplay disappear with the all-or-nothing approach. Paradoxically, a woman’s capacity for orgasm rises dramatically during this time period as well.

While only 23% of younger women come on a regular basis, 90% of women over thirty report frequent climax, mostly during masturbation.

The Fighting Forties

As a result of the sexual dysfunction of an earlier decade, both men and women in their forties begin a downward swoop on the roller coaster that is sex and marriage. While only 23% of younger women come on a regular basis, 90% of women over thirty report frequent orgasms, mostly during masturbation.

More than half of all men develop erectile dysfunction and this number only rises steadily from age 40 on up. People in their forties also drop way off on their rate of sexual activity – 69 times a year compared to 86 times the decade earlier.

The numbers regarding fidelity are not much more encouraging. In fact, it doesn’t take much for someone to cheat – somewhere between 25% and 40% of people have been unfaithful to their partner, and not all those people were unhappy in their marriage. Those who were “pretty happy” were twice as likely to cheat as those who were “very happy,” and those who were “not too happy” were three times as likely as their very happy peers.

The fact is that women, as much as men, are telling researchers more and more often that they would like to experience anal sex. e most men that come to me with the frustration of having been rejected to not give up. When your girl has doubts, it’s your job as a guy, who innately hates to admit defeat, to try to prove her.

1. You Aren’t Prepared

When it comes to first time anal sex, you don’t just rely on your instincts, on what nature taught you unknowingly. You need to come prepared, with your lessons learned, if you want it to be an awesome experience for both of you, the first time and many times that will follow. Anal is not just sticking your penis inside her bootie and shaking it all around.

You should be aware of her anatomy, how her body works, what you can do to stimulate her at the right time, etc. If you don’t enter the situation sufficiently informed, you are not going to have hot sex. But you will convince her that “no” was the right answer after all.

2. Your Manual Is Porn

Another thing that confuses you and stops you from performing at your full potential is the misinterpretation given by the porn industry. What we’re getting is a whole new order of sex positions, involving a different order of experiences. These things are beginning to reach into our lives and change the interior design of our sexual fantasies.

We’ve got to recognize that what one sees through the window of the TV screen is not as important as what we are bound to experience in our real lives. Anal sex is not as easy to master and straightforward as you see it in your XXX collection.

Professional porn actresses are either stretched out or they are using a numbing cream or gel to dull the pain. Another possibility: they start filming after having injected tons of lube inside her bootie and after she’s been aroused to some extent, so that the act seems real and doable. Don’t believe those that are trying to convince you that it’s not a big deal, because, in fact, it is.

3. You Don’t Talk To Her Beforehand

Women are scared. Yes. They get cold sweats and shivers when they think about it and the only thing that would mend this is just a few words of encouragement from your part. Not the “you’ll see you’ll like it” whispered by surprise, when you’re having sex, not that one. That doesn’t count as the talk.

Approach the subject in a non-sexual environment, and make sure you give her all the support, promise of protection and patience she needs. Take your time and assure her that it will be ok, it will feel good and it won’t hurt. Talk it over.

Find out exactly what makes her hesitant to try it and then see what you can do to belie her fears. Communication is a big deal for women; you ought to know that by now.

4. You Don’t Stimulate Her Enough

It is important that she is very turned on before you even go near her derriere. When she’s really heated up, her body is much more open to you than if she is only mildly turned on. She needs to be aching for you to touch her there. Otherwise, instead of giving you the moans and groans, she’ll just respond with a tense grimace. Rub her body all over with lube, get her relaxed with kisses and caresses, maybe a good dose of cunnilingus.

5. You Lose Focus

Once the hardest part is over and you find yourself inside her, you need to continue to be highly aware of every move you make, since being too rough can cause her considerable pain. You cannot thrust into her anus as hard as you would into her vagina.

Take it easy and pay attention to how it is making her feel. If she tells you to stop, then stop. If she tells you to get out, then get out. If you get selfish and focus on your pleasure over her potential pain, this will probably be the last time you’ll have anal sex with her.

6. You Don’t Let Her Set The Pace

A big part of the fear that women feel when it comes to anal sex is that they are helpless in this game of power play. If you want her to agree to it and also love the experience, let the action happen on her own grounds. Let her hold your penis and guide it slowly inside of her anus.

Even if it takes her half an hour to insert an inch, let her do it. If you surprise her with a sudden movement, the thought of having lost the control will make her even more scared. Just talk to her while she’s doing the job, seduce her mind and she’ll really let loose.

7. You Neglect Her Other Lady Parts

The sensation of touching the anus or rectum alone may feel uncomfortable for your girl, but couple it with penetration or oral sex, and suddenly it’ll feel much better. If you keep her mind busy with an awesome female orgasm, she won’t mind the back action that much. For example, while you’re fingering her anus, kiss her really deep on the mouth, so that she feels you’re still connected.

What She Said:

Chat With Your Man

First thing to do is have a chat with your man. We women are emotional and if our guy is turning us down, we take it personally. We think he is cheating, or doesn’t find us attractive. But before you jump to conclusions, you should see if maybe your guy is stressed, or over worked, or maybe he has money issues on his mind, or career problems.

All these outside forces can affect his libido and have nothing to do with you! Instead of holding a grudge, talk to him.  See if something else is on his mind and explain to him your needs. If he is not in the mood, tell him that you aren’t looking for a hot sex marathon, but a little hanky panky would be fun.

Masturbate For Him

Even some cuddling can be amazing; women want to feel closeness with their guy, that doesn’t always-necessary mean sex. If it is the big O that you are looking for and your guy is not in the mood, why not let him watch you please yourself? Who knows, the visual might be all he needs to revive him and have him give you a hand, or penis.

What He Said:

Make An Effort To Turn Him On

Of course women want it more than men, they don’t have to do anything. All you women have to do is lay there and pretend it’s not happening, which you’ve been practicing for centuries. Then he rolls off you and he buys you something. It’s a good deal. There’s no pressure.

A guy has to perform. Literally. And double standards and unreasonable expectations used to be things that society only heaped on women. It was a kinder, simpler time, when men where men and women were the ones slitting their wrists if they couldn’t fit into their skinny jeans or if their man was banging someone else.

Now men have to deal with that stuff too. How messed up is that? What’s worse, now that women have their own money, they have their own power, now their acting just like men expecting more and more of their partners.

Don’t Put Too Much Pressure On Him To Perform

Yes, porn, cock rings, Viagra and all that jazz are great, but maybe make sure he isn’t feeling burdened or pressured. Maybe he can’t fuck all night long. Maybe he only does it in between commercials. Maybe he feels insecure about his penis size, or how long he lasts, how hard he gets or whatever.

Let him know it’s all good, and you’re not expecting anything other than the good loving he is known to deliver. If there’s pressure or stress on his mind, do what you can to alleviate it. A lot of it is out of your hands, to be sure, but whatever you can do to lighten things up, the better.

Taking the pressure off is huge, but so is turning the heat up. Take him to a strip club. Get each of you a lap dance. Take him to a yoga class and dress super sexy. Go to the beach, spend time at pool or hot tub. If you can afford a weekend getaway, do it. That alone can be huge in getting the boom boom back in the bedroom.

Sometimes the act of physically being in a new place makes the mind feel like it’s physically separated from the problems that a person’s going through, despite the fact that they are in their own head.

Let him know quickies are all good, buy some Kama Sutra books or porn, but be advised that it may take a bit of effort to get the sex life ramped up how you like and one partner may still have a stronger libido than the other, but hopefully, if you’re patient and persistent, you’ll be having sex on a more regular basis.

Your First Time

When you were still a languishing virgin, curiosity took over your hormones. The desire to make a man out of yourself was evident every waking minute. You’ve heard that sex felt great – and even though you lacked a legitimate point of comparison, you knew it was going to be better than anything. If porn can feel that good, how much more if it were real breasts in front of you. The bulge in your pants seems to agree.

You need to learn how to do it right. The drive may be natural, but the quality is not. You need some experience under your belt. You need to be closely acquainted with your tools, learn about your girl’s body and how it works, and discover her preferences.

Sex Is Partner Specific

The manner and style will differ from woman to woman. This goes beyond body type, bust or booty size. It’s as unique as the two individuals engaged in it. And if you think all sex is the same, you’re unnecessarily lumping incomparable experiences – seeing the big picture and missing a woman’s idiosyncrasies.

It’s a woman’s sexual personality, the mixture of her naughtiness and innocence that makes her incomparable. It’s the way she shocks you with the things she calls, “Normal”. It’s the exquisite way she does you and the way she reacts to your moves. It’s the level of spanking she can take, or the depth her mouth can take your penis.

It’s in the manner she holds your tool when she gives you head and the smile on her face when you kiss. It’s in the exceptional tightness of her embrace and the way she rubs on your face every time you eat her.

Of course, there will be similarities. You’d go crazy if every time you do it, it’s all new and strange. But the similarities don’t really disturb us, do they? It’s the anomalies, the differences between women that keep us on our toes. These differences lie on the details. The devil is in the details.

Make Adjustments and Refinements

That’s why when it’s your first time with a certain woman, it feels like you’re a virgin all over again. The excitement may be familiar, but her body and sexual personality are not. You’re commencing a journey of discovery. Initial difficulties are okay, and adjustments & refinements have to be made.

That’s what happens when two people learn to adopt and adapt to each other. It’s okay if you don’t rock her world the first time. It’s not a rejection of you, it’s merely an indication that you need to learn something. Tell her that you want to master her and she’ll gladly assist you.

Do Not Slide Back

Men have a strong tendency to forget what was taught and return to their old ways. Be forewarned. When she teaches you something, burn it in your head. Schooling you once is already hard enough, doing it thrice is really just nagging. Keep learning, and keep the learning. Something wonderful happens over time, you start having better sex.

You get better. You’ll be the authority on what turns her on, the virtuoso on what gets her off. You’ll make her body squirm with delight. You’ll have her preferences down pat. Life will be good!

And when that time comes, don’t be so stuck up. When you think you’ve mastered your woman like your favorite RPG game, remember that there’s always something to learn. Even if she’s shouting your praises on a 3-block radius – there’s always room for more wonderful things. Always.

Do Not Rush Foreplay

Despite all the amazing things your hands can do, you have probably not given them a good workout during sex in quite some time. Why the neglect? While women often look at foreplay as a great chance to spend some quality time playing with their partner, men tend to think of it as the work they need to get out of the way before the main event.

Talk On An Honest Level

Maybe you are so eager by the time she’s turned on that you can’t wait to be inside her. Perhaps you just don’t feel confident that you know what’s going on down there and need some clear, concise instructions on how to handle her intimate bits. TALK TO HER! Connect with her on an honest level to find out what she likes and how you can improve your sex life together.

Be Enthusiastic About Your Sex Life

Hot sex deserves your very best effort, and this is the kind of effort worth giving. Don’t spend another night wondering if you’ll be able to hold out long enough to make her come with you. If your wife has anything in common with the 43% of American women in the National Health and Social Life Survey who claimed to have sexual problems related primarily to lack of interest, difficulty reaching orgasm and the inability to experience sexual pleasure, then it’s time to find out what is going on.

Be enthusiastic about your sex life. If you are not positive then she could feel ashamed or embarrassed to the point that you stop having sex all together. Don’t let your sex life spin out of control because you’re not enthusiastic enough about getting it back on track.

Read Her Reactions When You Touch

Molly Triffin, a recent DuPauw University study revealed some interesting news about our responses to touch. “Touch allows you to tune in to feelings that lie below the surface,” psychology professor and lead author Matthew Hertenstein says. Many intimate details of your relationship can be understood in a mere five seconds. You may notice that your wife often tenses up, pulls away or avoids eye contact during sex. While Triffin suggests that the most common reasons for this reaction involve lies or secrets, it is in fact more likely a feeling of self-consciousness and body shame.

Don’t Put Too Much Focus On Intercourse

Being a great lover you is about being able to please a woman. It’s all about her orgasm first. You must be able to bring her to climax before you. Then she’s going to want to bring you to climax and the sex is going to be that much better.

Too many men focus on the intercourse. They’re all about being good in the intercourse part, you know, good in the dynamic part of sex. A lot of men spend too much time researching sexual positions: how to flip a woman over and how to do it from behind and what the best missionary positions are.

And that’s all great. Understanding all the different positions and different moves and how to stimulate the g-spot are all fantastic. These are all things that you need to know to be a dynamic lover.

It’s All About Mindset

If you haven’t figured out by now, life is 100% mindset. When a man meets a woman for the very first time and there’s sexual energy between the two of them, it’s not just about what you’re going to do with them physically, it’s all about the foreplay ahead of time that really drives a woman wild and actually drives the man wild too.

When you’ve got a lot of mental foreplay with somebody, it opens up a whole new world of sexuality. A lot of men and women don’t understand the art of talking dirty, or how important it is to really bring somebody to orgasm. But more important, a lot of men don’t realize the emotional connection that women need to have. Because men tend to think with their little head, and women, well, they have a little head too, but their little head is so small they don’t really think with it.

Use Her Emotion

In order to massage a woman, in order to get her to really open up sexually to you, you need to be able to understand the way that she is wired emotionally. I’ve said so many times that women are like giant a giant clitoris. If you go in for the kill right away, they’re basically going to be shut down.

You’ve got to learn how to open them up. You got to learn how to really become a dynamic lover, because that is what they’re looking for. It’s like licking an ice cream cone. Spend the time to savor each and every drop.

Becoming the most dynamic lover is not just about physical. It’s about understanding her emotional core for then seduction and teasing her. Learn how to control your mindset, learn how to influence hers, and you’re already on your way to becoming the best lover possible.

1. A Woman Can Reach Orgasm More Easily If Her Partner Has A Big Penis

If you think your penis size has something to do with a woman’s ability to climax, you need to think again. The truth is that size really doesn’t matter all that much. Look at it this way: just as large breasts may be fun to play with and look at, they really don’t have anything to do with whether or not you climax.

Just as they say “more than a mouthful is a waste,” the same holds true for penises, except our saying goes “more than a vagina full is a waste (and sometimes painful).” Since only the first two inches of a woman’s vagina are sensitive to stimulation, anything over that amount is kind of useless during intercourse, at least from a woman’s physical perspective.

2. A Woman Doesn’t Enjoy Sex Unless She Has An Orgasm

Listen up: NOTHING COULD BE MORE WRONG!!!! Although a majority of men believe that the only way a woman enjoys sex is if she orgasms, nothing could be farther from the truth.

For many couples, sex is generally a physical and emotional expression of love, intimacy, and trust. Because women thoroughly enjoy being close to their partners, many enjoy the physical aspect of feeling their partner’s naked body against theirs during sex, even when it is not accompanied by climax.

The physical touch of her partner helps satisfy a woman’s need for affection, so sex can be very satisfying both physically and emotionally even if she doesn’t climax. An orgasm is an intense pleasurable feeling but it is not the sole source of sexual pleasure for a woman.

3. There’s Nothing Wrong With Faking An Orgasm

A lot of women sincerely believe this myth, but the truth is that there’s A LOT wrong with a fake orgasm. Although faking an orgasm may benefit the woman in one way or another, it does absolutely nothing for her partner. Faking an orgasm is nothing more than a lie.

It doesn’t matter if her reason for doing so is to spare your feelings or to get the act of sex done and over with. Allowing you to believe something that isn’t true is lying. While faking an orgasm may help a man feel good about himself in terms of his ability to satisfy his partner, the truth of the matter is that he is not satisfying his partner.

4. Some Women Just Can’t Have An Orgasm

While there are a percentage of women who have never had one, there is no evidence to suggest that some women are physically incapable of climaxing. One of the reasons some women have never had the pleasure of experiencing an orgasm is because they just don’t know how.

While men have a lot of practice pleasing themselves through masturbation, many women lack the same experience. As a result, they don’t understand what the big deal is about sex and give up trying to learn how to reach climax. The main reason behind this failure to achieve an orgasm is improper genital stimulation.

Contrary to popular belief, a woman requires clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, not vaginal stimulation. Without proper stimulation of the clitoris, orgasm is unlikely for most women.

5. Women Take Longer To Orgasm Than Men

This is another common myth, which has not been supported by research. The reason many men and women believe this to be true is because of their lack of understanding sexual arousal.  A woman’s pattern of sexual arousal is much different than a man’s.

As a result, it takes women longer to “want” to have sex than it does men. Once a woman is fully aroused, she can have an orgasm just as fast, if not faster, than her male partner. But should she fail to reach that optimum level of sexual arousal, it can appear to take her longer to have an orgasm than a man.

The key is to learn how to get your partner hot and horny first. Because men often don’t know how to sexually arouse their partners, they often engage in sex sooner than their partner is ready for. As a result, achieving orgasm can be difficult for the woman, if not impossible. Not only will that help her to climax faster, it will also help her to climax more often.

There’s a female comical recognition when a punch line tags the guy who explodes a mere 13  thrusts into the game. But for our purposes here, we’ll look at “Going the Distance” (GTD) beyond the superficial issue of premature ejaculation.

Get Fit NOW!

It’s not a far out question, is it? In case you didn’t know, sex is very physical. Intercourse is intense. It’s ugly. It’s fierce. Your pupils dilate, your heart pounds so hard and threatens explosion, breathing gets heavier and labored by the minute, body temperature rises to fever pitch and you sweat like you’re on fire. Muscles tense so hard they feel like concrete, your brain lights up like a thousand Christmas trees, and you thrash around, contending with another human being who’s exhibiting the same symptoms.

People die during sex, you know – and it’s not just the battle-tested elderly. Learning how to last longer in bed requires a consenting body. If you can’t even support your own weight, how far do you think will you go? How long will you last if after a few maneuvers, you’re already panting and teetering on an asthma attack?

If you want to go somewhere, you better be fit to go. Settling for less, because your body won’t allow the naughty things in your head, is indeed a sexual tragedy. Especially when you know you deserve to enjoy so much more.

Use Intense Workouts For More Stamina

So shape up! Run like hell. Bike. Get to a gym. Consult your doctor first if the need be. Get fit, eat right! You’re flooded everyday with health information and you actually already know what to do. You just have to get into doing them. (Don’t even try to make your age, schedule or lifestyle be an excuse.)

Good health gives you more sexual options. You don’t know the number of grossly obese people who settle for sex positions just because it’s the only one left that doesn’t pose serious health risks. You don’t know the number of men who fear that a heart attack might be around the corner every time they get their grooves on – living with the constant fear their corpses would be found at a nearby motel and blasted on the evening news. Being healthy simply makes sense, because if you’re dead, you can’t do it no more! No, the dead don’t score!

Visualize Sex Beforehand

Sex is not only very physical, it’s also very mental. How you VISUALIZE better sex will often find itself manifested in the real thing. How you think about it will ultimately be reflected in your style.

Check your imagination; you need a mind that sees beyond the obvious, a mind that can think in ways novel and exciting. GTD means constantly creating, improving and breaking routines. It’s being able to think about sex beyond the bed, the bedroom, penis & vagina and ejaculation. Mentally going the distance means applying your creative energies and discovering that sex is so much more than what you originally thought it to be.

When you see a made bed or a kitchen table, what do you really see? How open and ready are you to engage in the world of sexual positions, sex toys, fantasies and activities available for two horny consenting adults? The limits lie only in your head, in your imagination. Sex is mental, and you got to see it in your mind first before you see it manifested.

Pay Attention To Her Body Language

A woman’s body language (and her moans and groans) are your best guide during sex. When you pay attention to her body language, she will show you the way and tell you if you’re doing her right, instead of swinging from one extreme to another. Keep an eye and an ear on what she’s doing and how she’s responding, so that when you’re having sex you can tell what she likes and what she doesn’t.

Look For The Optimum Point

This is home. It’s where things simply flow and sex is “WOW!”  The OP is the zone of leverage – the zone of perfect sensations. Below OP, you get meager result. Beyond it (when you’re doing too much or stay in the same spot for too long), you have diminished effectiveness. One might think that things get better beyond OP. No it doesn’t, in fact the opposite happens, you get diminishing returns. Just because you’re pumping faster and harder doesn’t mean she’s getting happier. Stay at OP – no more, no less.

Be Just Right

It’s the point in clitoral stimulation for example, where you don’t go too slow or too fast. It’s the duration of hot sex where it’s not a quickie but also not a death-defying marathon – it’s what women refer to when they say “just right.”

Discover Her OP

OP’s vary not only from woman to woman but even in the same woman. That doesn’t make your job more difficult, it only makes it more challenging. I’m sorry to tell you that finding OP is not something you can read on a page. To cater to YOUR woman and give her better sex, you’re going to have to learn HER specific OP.

Play around and try different speeds, different strokes and different things on your girl. Since you’re the one in the room with her, you can observe her reactions – her body will talk to you, so listen to it!

This is never automatic, and like many things in life, it’s not mastered by simply sitting around and reading e-books, it’s honed by reading bodies. That means you actually have to dive to the trenches, commit the mistakes and learn from them, only then can you become a master. People have a word for it; I think they call it PRACTICE!