Even though you might suspect one or more of their statements to be false, you have no proof and can’t really risk accusing them for fear of being wrong, upsetting them and making a really bad impression. But what about if you aren’t with them face-to-face and talking on the phone instead or even listening to a message they’ve left you on your answering machine?

Your job, of accurately judging whether or not what they’re saying is the truth or a lie is made even harder. You can’t look at their eyes, view their body language or use any other visual clue to help you decide on whether or not they’re trustworthy.

So what CAN you do? Well, you can use natural lie detection techniques to get a good grasp on what they’re saying and, most importantly, whether it’s been made-up, twisted or is the entire truth.

Let’s look at 4 ways in which people alter or change the way they speak or the words they use when they lie to you. Listen out for each one whenever you want to tell if someone is lying to you, either over the phone or face-to-face.

Sign #1: Negativity

Liars know that when they try to deceive someone they’re breaking an unspoken moral and social code, lying, to any normal, decent person, is plain wrong 99% of the time. Because what they’re saying is negative, they themselves feel a sense of negativity and cynicism, which leaks out in the words they choose to use.

For example, a liar might say: ““I wasn’t there when the fire started,” instead of, “I was at home when the fire broke out.” Or “I never tell lies,” instead of, “I always tell the truth.”

Sign #2: Self-Referencing

When trying to deceive others, people frequently want to psychologically distance themselves from the lie or lies they’re telling. They often do this by decreasing the amount of times they use self-referencing.

For example, they might say: “That car was in the driveway. God knows how it could cause an accident at the same time.” An honest person is much more likely to not worry about referencing themselves in their statement, and might instead say: “My car was parked in my driveway. I don’t know how it could possibly have been on the road and caused an accident at the same time.”

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The problem most people who think they’ve been lied to face, apart from finding out the truth, is confronting the person that’s been conning them. It’s a really tricky social situation – what if, by some chance, they weren’t lying?

Or what if they were lying but won’t admit it and instead just choose to blindly deny being deceptive? Dozens of questions and uncertainties make tackling a liar and untangling theirs lies a difficult task for anyone to face. But there ARE things you can do to help you succeed.

We’re going to look at just one technique of many that you can use to first discreetly acquire additional, hard proof of someone’s untruthfulness, and then use to confidently confront them safe in the knowledge that they cannot possibly deny what they’ve done…your evidence is simply too strong and damning. It’s called…

False Fact Contribution

This discreet detection technique is a favorite of many skilled natural lie detectors, purely because of its high level of effectiveness and reliability. In involves the adding of a fictional fact of your own that relates to their suspected lie, expressed as the truth, to evoke a telling response from them that you can use as a measure of their reliability.

Here’s an example. Your partner has supposedly been to the movies with a friend, but you have a sneaking suspicion that they may not be telling you the truth. When they return home you casually say hi in a non-threatening, relaxed way.

Once you have eye contact with them, you mention hearing on the radio that there was a massive road traffic accident outside of the movie theater and ask if it caused them any trouble when they had to leave. Now, if your partner IS lying, they are in a might tricky situation.

Do they go along with what you’ve said, assuming it to be true, and say that they saw the accident scene and got out fine, or do they risk saying they saw nothing? The key to using the false fact contribution technique lies in making the fact you use something they cannot have possibly missed (if it were true).

What You’ll Get

This means you’ll get a usable, telling response from them. Either they’ll make a reference to it and therefore expose their dishonesty. Or, having actually gone to the movies, they’ll say, truthfully, that they saw nothing. In this scenario, you quite casually brush the whole thing, and say you must have misheard the road name on the radio or something along those lines.

Remember, take note of how your partner, or whoever you’re using this technique on, reacts when you contribute the false fact. Watch for changes in their body language, a lessening of eye contact and any attempts they make to quickly change or ignore the subject you’ve raised. Looking for these signs give you the best chance of acquiring what you deserve: the truth.

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What we will be doing, however, is looking at some examples of male body language which, once adopted by a man, have been shown to increase his appearance as being confident, self-assured, relaxed and masculine which, together, make him more attractive to the opposite sex.

Let’s start with movement.

Movement

The way we men move says a couple of different things about us. First, there’s the movement we’re making. What is the purpose of the movement? What is the motivation behind it? Then there is the way the movement is performed.

For example, a guy is sitting within a group of people in a bar and they are all talking to one another. He leans towards the table to pick up his drink and take a sip of it. That is the movement. Now what is the motivation behind it? He could be thirsty. More importantly, how does he make the movement?

He leans forward quickly, grabs the drink, takes a quick sip, then leans back to place the glass on the table once more. The movement lasted about 3 seconds. After witnessing the movement, the chances are that a woman would conclude the man reached for his drink not because he was thirsty, but because he was nervous.

How does she know this? From the way he made the movement. It was hurried, not calm. He did it while he wasn’t speaking, to give himself something to do and thereby reduce his internal anxiety.

This is the kind of thing you need to avoid when you are talking to a woman you want to attract. Remember the following:

Bear economy of movement in mind. To look relaxed, calm and confident, you need to only move for a good reason. It’s obviously fine to reach for your drink, or stretch out your legs, etc., as long as you are making the movement for a good reason and not one born out of feeling nervous and anxious.

Before you make the movement, briefly consider why you’re making it. You’ll probably be shocked at the number of times you catch yourself about to do something whose only purpose is to relieve some of your internal tension.

You’ll want to put your hands in your pockets, hold your drink in front of your chest, fiddle with the straw in your drink, touch your face for no reason…be aware of and control how often you move and the reasons you make movements.

Think about how you move

After considering why you move, think about how you should move. Don’t rush movements. Don’t hurry or look like you want to get the movement over with, as to not draw attention to yourself.

At the same time, don’t drag the movement out for too long. Taking 20 seconds to reach for your drink will either make you look like a sloth or a show-off. Find the middle-ground. Controlled and calm, not slow.

Are you being open or closed?

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There are literally thousands and thousands of ways people’s untruths and falsehoods taint and make living our daily lives more of an effort than it really should be.

So what can we do about it?

Putting a Stop to the Lies

How can we put a stop to lies the second we hear them and reveal the real truth, the actual facts, the exact situation?

The answer is natural lie detection – techniques, strategies and knowledge that give a person the rare and invaluable ability to separate the real from the fake and always know what to believe and what to question.

So, what does it consist of? Well, natural lie detection uses no machines, test papers, no video or audio recordings. It is, as the name suggests, a science based on human perception and skill.

The Three Main Components

It has 3 main components. They are the interpretation and analysis of: body language, psychology, and verbal communication. By having a deep and expert knowledge of all three, you can become capable of spotting 99 out of 100 lies, whether they’re spoken over the phone, in person or even over the internet or via text message.

Although learning these special techniques isn’t difficult when you have the time and proper reading material, it does require more space to explain than this short article allows. However, that doesn’t mean we can’t go over one way many liars give themselves away.

This collection of principles falls under the body language category of natural lie detection and focuses solely on how a dishonest person uses, or avoids using, their hands when they’re being deceitful.

Hand-Related Signals

There are 3 main hand-related signals of deceptiveness.

Signal #1: Hand Gesture Frequency

People use their hands to visually illustrate and emphasize their statements. It’s a way of painting an abstract picture in the air to better help the person or people they’re talking to understand the concepts being covered. When someone lies, however, their mind works differently to how it normally operates. Their thought process is dominated by the act of being dishonest convincingly and they therefore tend to change how they use their hands.

The first change you should look for is in how often they gesticulate with their hands while talking. The majority of people, when they lie, lessen the amount of movements they make with their hands because they subconsciously want to restrict the volume of information being given to the person they’re lying to out of fear of saying too much, either verbally or physically, and getting caught out or questioned.

The More Proficient the Liar, The More Hand Gestures They Use

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