“I Just Started Working Here A Few Nights Ago”

This is the most common stripper lie. It plays on our psychology; guys get excited and think they have a “chance” to score with a stripper (and possibly have sex with her) when they find out she’s new and isn’t jaded and all about making money. Then what happens is the customer spends money on her, thinking it will impress her and she’ll go home with him. She won’t, and she’ll have made hundreds of dollars from spinning her lies, just like she planned on.

I once met a very cute stripper who told me she’d just started working at the club “last night.” (This was before I learned how the game was played.) I figured it was my lucky day: I’d met a girl who was new, fresh, and was probably more “real” than the other girls – which meant I might have a chance at dating her.

(I didn’t, although I did blow a hundred bucks on dances that night.)

Fast-forward eight months. I came back to the strip club and she sat down with me again. (She had no recollection of ever meeting me.) When I asked her how long she’d been working at the club, she told me she’d just started two days ago. And I’m sure that to this day, she’s still feeding customers this line of crap.

This is a typical stripper ploy, to make you think she’s innocent and fresh—not like the other girls. And it’s all calculated, of course, to make you lower your guard and spend money on her.

If you hear this from a stripper, don’t try to challenge her on it. Just nod, smile, and say “Oh, well I hope its going okay so far,” and then move the conversation onto something else—knowing that you’ve just deflected an attempt to hustle you.

“I’m Having A Bad Night, I Haven’t Even Paid Off My Stage Fee. Could You Cover It For Me?”

Dancers are normally required to pay the club a “stage fee” or a “house fee” every time they work a shift. If business is slow, or there’s a ton of competition from other dancers, it’s possible for a stripper to wind up losing money on a shift, when you also factor in the tips she needs to pay out to the support staff.

However, when you hear this from a stripper, it’s usually an attempt to gain sympathy and get you to fork over some money. The average guy might think, “Sure, why not just cover her $75 stage fee? I’ll be a hero and she’ll have to repay me somehow, maybe by going on a date!” But remember, this is a ploy to get your money. When you run out of money, she won’t think twice about moving on to another customer.

Other lies they’ll tell you: You can bet money that they have a great story about why they became strippers. These stories always involve some (if not all) of the following terms: “My boyfriend,” “My ex-boyfriend,” “Prison,” “Hospital,” “Just moved,” and my personal favorite, “Hooters girls don’t really make that much money.”

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5. 5 Signs He Only Wants A One Night Stand

Being used can be devastating to the ego and your self-esteem. If you’re in a relationship –whether budding or established and you thin that he might be taking advantage of you, you’re probably right. There are a lot of reasons that men use women. Sex is the one that most women think of, but there are others. Men cherish their self-image and having a great looking girl by their side is one of the biggest statements he can make while in public. A beautiful woman is a sign of success and power. This is a coveted feature of any man’s life, but he may only have superficial interest in you.

1. You Can Tell That He Doesn’t Really Care

Does he ask how your day was when you walk through the door? If he does, can you tell that he’s actually interested in what you did for the last 12 hours of your life? If you sense disinterest in your work, your family or your passions, he’s probably taking advantage of you. A guy that takes a genuine interest in all of these aspects is going to respect you and really care about what is going on.

2. He’s Uncompromising

When it comes to making a choice about dinner plans or going to see a movie, does he take an interest in what you want to do? If not, he’s definitely taking advantage of you or he’s a sociopath. Neither of these is good and you should probably move on. You want a man that is going to compromise with what you want and what he wants to do.

3. He’s Cold Out Of The Bedroom

If things are frigid unless you’re under the sheets, you can bet your bottom dollar that he’s wants you for sex. A man that is genuinely affectionate outside of the bedroom and in public can’t help but to show how much he cares about you. Ditch one that is only interested in a connection in the bedroom.

4. He Doesn’t Make You Feel Special

A guy that really cares about you is going to show that you’re the only girl on his mind. If you’re dating a fella that buys you generic gifts on your birthday or blows you off to spend time with his friends, he probably wants you as a backup plan. Get rid of him and get with one that will make you feel like the only girl he’s thinking about.

5. He’s Not Concerned With The Future

No man should ever talk about marriage within the first couple of months, but if your guy isn’t talking about taking trips or possible future plans, he’s probably taking advantage of you. Men that are genuinely interested in a long-term relationship will want to make the appropriate comments signaling this interest. If your man is not talking about the future, you need to ask him if he wants a long-term commitment.

6. He Doesn’t Text Or Call You Back

If you send a text to your guy, what is his typical response time? Does he apologize if he doesn’t respond in a timely manner? If he takes a day or two to get back to you, he’s probably taking advantage of you. Men that are interested won’t leave you hanging.

7. You’ve Only Been On One Date

This is a huge red flag. If the only date that you’ve gone on was the first date, you can be fairly sure that he’s just taking advantage of you. Even if you’re not sleeping with him, he probably just wants you as somebody to hang out with when he has nothing else to do. Traditionally, men want to wine and dine women so be on the lookout for a man that has no interest in taking you on a proper date.

8. He’s Disrespectful

A man should always treat a lady as a lady. If he is disrespectful to you, he just wants you until you hit the breaking point. No man should ever treat a woman as anything other than an equal. Remember this the next time he makes a disrespectful remark.

9. He Hasn’t Introduced You To His Family

If you have only been dating for a couple of weeks, you can let this one slide. But if you have been together for a couple of months and you still haven’t met his parents, there is something else going on. A man wants to have the approval of his parents. Dump him if he refuses to introduce you to his parents.

10. He Doesn’t Want To Meet Your Family

If he avoids meeting your family, this is another red flag. Meeting your family is a big deal. Looking your father in the eye while he inquires about his intentions with you is a staple of every relationship. If your guy refused to meet your family, it’s time to move on.

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Most women are very concerned with their self-image. Although self-image can directly affect ego and self-esteem, we don’t always make the right decisions to support how we really think of ourselves. The days of women hiding their sexual prowess are over. Society has embraced the concept that women like sex and can get it whenever they want. But when does being a forward woman who loves sex turn into a woman who is after only one thing? If your friends have ever called you by that name, you know how damaging this word can be. The line between being a woman who embraces her sexuality and a complete slut is not as fine as you may think. Here are a few questions to ponder when determining if you are one or not.

Have You Ever Had A One-Night Stand?

One night stands can be a lot of fun if both parties understand that is simply “is what it is.” But if you’ve had more than 5, you’re teetering on the line of being a slut. If you have never had a one-night stand then you probably aren’t a slut. Almost every woman has had one compromising night in her life. It’s not the end of the world and it certainly doesn’t brand you with The Scarlet Letter. Most women who have had a single one-night stand regret it or look back and laugh. This is normal and you shouldn’t get bogged down with it.

Workplace Romances

The workplace is for work. If you have ever had a workplace romance, you might want to consider closing your legs in the future. Sleeping with a guy that you work with has its appeals. Because it’s heavily frowned upon, the thought can be exciting. Flirting with a guy at work endangers your professionalism. If you have just flirted with a guy at work then you’re probably in the clear. If you have engaged in a sexual relationship with a guy at work then you could just be a slut. Women who enjoy their sexuality progressively are professional women. They don’t mix work and play. Giving into the urges of a workplace relationship could be the sign that you’re looking for.

Your “Number”

Although your number is not the only factor in determining whether or not you’re a slut, it does play its part. Typically, a woman in her early 30′s should not have more than 10-11 guys on her bedpost. If you have more than that then you could possibly be one. If you have 20 or more guys under your belt, you are one. The general rule is that you should not be with more than 3 guys per year. If you’re with more than 3 guys per year, you’re probably not engaging in loving relationships. Take a step back and look at the relationships that you have been in over the last couple of years.

Would You Date The Ex Of A Friend?

This one is kind of tricky. Sure, your friend dated some guy while you were in college. But she’s married now with kids, so what’s wrong with dating him? In this specific scenario, there’s nothing wrong with going out with the guy. If your friend and their ex broke up 2 months ago and you’re all set to date him, then you’re just a slut. The exes of friends are not the best guys to go after in the first place because it puts a stain on your friendship. Your friend may not be comfortable with you being where they have been. If you would never even parish the thought, then you’re not one.

Your Average Saturday Night

What is your average Saturday night like? Do you hang around the house in sweats catching up on recorded shows or are you out at the latest clubs trolling for guys to have a cheap thrill with? Going out on a Saturday night is not an indicator of a “lady of the evening,” but your intentions can be. Heading out to a bar with a couple of friends and checking out some of the guys can be harmless. If you seem to always find yourself in a cab with Joe Nobody after last call…well, you can guess where this is going.

A good girl will not always get the guy, but a slut will never be taken seriously. If you are afraid that you’re crossing the line between being a forward thinking woman and a slut, you should rethink your life path. It’s okay for women to like sex and might even have a tryst once in a while, and this doesn’t mean that they are bad. However, a true slut will fail every aspect of these scenarios. Be honest with yourself and you will get a true gauge of what you are and how you can change.

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A one-night stand can be one of the biggest mistakes for a woman’s life. Let’s face it. Some men will do anything to get into a girl’s pants. If a fella has ever played you, you know how stupid you can feel afterward. Being able to tell if a guy is looking for a one-night stand or a real relationship is a huge asset for the nightlife scene in your area. There are several indicators that you can take into account when determining whether or he wants a one-night stand. Here is a guide to keep the creeps away.

1. He Buys You Drinks…A Lot Of Drinks

A date that is only looking for a one stand is going to buy you a lot of drinks. He will probably be drinking a lot also so this is something that you will need to look out for. Men that buy a lot of drinks for women are trying to get them loose and ready for whatever. The release of inhibitions associated with alcohol is a staple among one night stands. Refuse the drinks that he is offering your and see what he says. If he starts teasing you about being a lightweight, he probably just wants a one night stand. If he lets up and doesn’t push the drinks on you, he might be looking for a more serious relationship.

2. The Conversation Always Comes Back To The Same Thing

When you’re talking to a guy he should be telling you about himself. This could include what he does, what he likes, if he’s there with friends or where he went to school. Men that want one night stands typically sexualize the situation right off the bat. If you are talking and he keeps coming back to his car, his condo, his job title or any other phallic metaphor it’s probably best to leave the situation as is. Any fella that mentions sex within the first 20 minutes of meeting him is not looking for a serious relationship.

3. He’s Trying To “Bounce” You

Women tend to stay in packs. If you are out with a bunch of girlfriends and a potential date tries to get you away from them, he’s looking for a one-night stand. Here’s the reasoning. Women don’t want to be judged by their friends. A girl that goes to another club or a different bar with a guy they just met is less of an offense than a girl that goes home with a guy right in front of their friends. Men know this so they try to separate the girl from her friends.

When the two of you walk into a new bar or club together everybody will think that you’re a couple. This eliminates the chances of another guy hitting on you, leaving you as a victim to his routine. If he says something like “Hey, it’s kind of loud in here. Can we go outside and talk for a bit?” He’s probably not looking for a one-night stand. Bouncing is a very common practice in the “Pick-Up Artist” world.

4. He Doesn’t Want To Meet Your Friends

A huge tell for a guy that only wants a one-night stand is when they don’t want to meet your friends. When you’re in a bar or a club with friends, the guy should want their approval. A potential date that is interested in you and your life will want to meet your friends so they can put in a good word for him. For a guy wanting a one night stand, your friends are obstacles that could get in his way. They will try to keep you away from your friends for as long as possible and then make an excuse of why they don’t want to meet them. They might say something like “I need another drink” or “Let me run to bathroom real quick.”

5. He Doesn’t Ask For Your Number

If you really want to know whether the guy is looking for a one night stand, the best way to do it is to play the game yourself. Pretend that you and your friends are leaving the bar. Even if you’re not leaving the bar you can say “we changed our mind.” If the guy does not ask for your number before you leave, he’s only looking for a one-night stand. Men don’t want to be perceived as players by the rest of the girls in the bar. When he takes your number, other girls are going to be uninterested. This messes up his persona and he won’t risk it on a girl that is leaving.

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4. I’m Dating Again but My Sex Drive is Gone… Do I Stand a Chance?
5. 5 Ways to Avoid Striking Out This Friday Night

What She Said:

Set the intention of finding a casual fling for your vacay – odds are you’ll meet someone with the same goal!

Go Tropical

Nothing says “vacation” like getting lit on rum and trying to limbo. It’s a great way to show that you’re fun loving, you’re loosing up and you’re willing to shed your inhibitions! It’s also a great way to get a preview of who’s the most flexible amongst your potential flings. Bonus – the warmer the climate, the fewer the clothes.

Go On A Singles’ Cruise

Yep, it sounds cheesy – and yes, they do still exist! However, if you’re willing to set aside you’re skepticism, odds are you’ll be knee-deep in fun. What else are you going to do, stranded together in the middle of the ocean?

Hit The Bars

No matter where your getaway takes you, bars and alcohol are the universal combination for folks who want to socialize and let their guard down. This is doubly true when you’re at a tourist destination. Make eye contact, start up a friendly conversation and see where it leads.

Flirt!

Be it the restaurant, the bar or in line for the next parasailing spot. If you see someone you’re interested in, give him or her a smile. You’ve got nothing to lose!

Ask

Vacations aren’t reality – they’re an escape from the daily grind. Therefore the normal rules don’t apply. Approaching someone with a bold proposition that might get you slapped back home could be just the ticket for a freewheelin’ traveler. Especially during Spring Break or Burning Man. Just saying!

What He Said:

Be Direct

You don’t have forever to make this happen. You are on vacation for a short, specified time. Make the most of it. Go big or go home. Being shy just isn’t get this done. You need to have some confidence, liquid or otherwise.

Forget Who You Are

You are not your job or your home life or your obligations. All the stresses and duties you have at home are at home. Not on vacation. So if you’re not the type of person to have a threesome or have a one night stand or pick up someone at a bar, who cares? You aren’t that person on vacation. Be that guy or girl you’ve always wanted to be.

Be Fearless

What do you care if someone slaps you for being too bold? What do you care if you get shot down? You’re on vacation? You’ll never see these people again! It’s not like you vacation in the place you live and work! That’s not much of a vacation. So you go somewhere new and exciting, and you go there for a reason. So go for it! Say and do things that you wouldn’t normally. That’s what a vacation is. An escape from reality. Own it. Embrace it.

Take Accountability

It’s your vacation. Ownership of it is on your shoulders. If you have fun or you don’t, if you have sex or you don’t, it is on you. You can’t control other people so having goals based on other people may not be so great but make sure you control things on your end and you can’t go wrong.

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What She Said:

Thou Shall Keep It Clear

The best way to have fun with a booty call is to clearly define your relationship beforehand. Booty calls, by popular definition, include sex without strings. It’s late night satisfaction – the fast food of sex. So make sure you’re not emotionally attached before picking up that phone.

Thou Shall Be Experimental

Take the opportunity to whip out the Kama Sutra and explore some new positions. When the two of you ultimately transition to other relationships, you’ll have some amazing moves to wow your next lover with.

Thou Shall Be Respectful

Booty calls are for legally consenting adults – so act like one! Though it’s a casual connection, the rules of etiquette still apply. You don’t need to exchange details of your day – but treating each other with kindness is a must.

Thou Shall Use Protection

Booty calls are fun and lighthearted. STD’s and unplanned pregnancies are not – use condoms.

Thou Shall Know When To Let It Go

There will come a time when you’ll need to wrap it up. Booty call arrangements are usually short-lived. If it’s not fun anymore – or one of you has met someone else – it’s time to call it a night.

What He Said

Thou Shall Have An Exit Strategy

These things will not last forever. It will be fun for a while, not a long time. Know this in advance and plan accordingly.

Thou Shall Not Expect Too Much

This isn’t going to go anywhere. Except to the bedroom. It’s not going to turn into something more. It isn’t a deep, profound, spiritual connection. If you go into a movie with super high expectations you’ll probably be very disappointed, why? Because you’re setting yourself up for failure. If you go in with lower, more realistic expectations, then you’re more likely to have a good time and really, really enjoy yourself.

Thou Shall Get Yours

Don’t expect the other person to care about your pleasure. This isn’t love making, this is f**cking. Period. It’s fast and nasty, down and dirty. The person on the other end of the equation isn’t concerned about your feelings or making sure you have a good time, more often than not. If anything, they are concerned about getting theirs. Take ownership of your orgasm and make sure you get it, and then some. Don’t wait for anyone else to make it happen. That’s on you.

Thou Shall Not Be Unrealistic

Yes, they are probably going to be having sex with other people. No, it won’t last forever. Yes, it will end badly (if you don’t end it first). What do you expect? It’s a booty call. You can’t accept a collect call from Cambodia and then be shocked when you get your phone bill. Take ownership and accountability. You made the call or at least you answered it. There’s an upside and a downside. Weigh the pluses and minus and act accordingly

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I’m living in a house with a bunch of roommates (Real World style!). I’m attracted to one of the guys and we’ve been flirting a lot – but we’re putting off getting together for fear of complicating our living situation. Neither one of us can afford to move out if things go bad, but we really want to hook up. Thoughts?

What She Said:

I guess it’ll depend on what’s stronger – your libido or your desire to keep your living situation comfortable! I’ll be interested to hear which one wins out.

Ask Yourself Questions First

Here are a few questions to ask yourself before diving in: How strong is the connection? Is it worth possibly putting your living situation in jeopardy? Is this a hookup for sex or do you both want a relationship? If it’s an in-house booty call, how will you feel if he brings home another girl? How will it affect the dynamics of your household? Are you both mature enough to handle it if it doesn’t work out? Of course you can’t know the answers to these questions for sure, but it’ll behoove the situation if you can push yourself by playing devil’s advocate.

If you’re like the rest of us, my guess is that you’ll give in to hooking up – and that’s okay! If you decide to proceed, the best you can do is move forward with a mutual respect for each other – and, if you’re really smart, the utmost respect for your roommates. That means keeping your private time private; and if things do go awry, don’t drag your household into the drama.

You can do the pros and cons list all day long – but hopefully you’ll go with your gut and do what’s best for you. But keep that piggy bank full, just in case.

What He Said:

Hooking up with someone you live with when neither of you could afford to move out if something goes awry? What could possibly be wrong with this scenario?

Sure there’s a lot that COULD go right with this scenario, but is the juice worth the squeeze? That’s what it comes down to. I’m not you and I’m not there, so I can’t speak to that, but I can say I have trouble imagining a situation where the positives outweigh the negatives.

Could the sex be mind blowing? Could this person be the great love of your life? Sure, but they could also go batshit crazy on you and you’re stuck there in a really weird living situation.

And then so are your roommates. Maybe this other person doesn’t go psycho, but how will this affect your roommate dynamic? What if one of your roommates wants to hook up with this person and you do first? That can’t be good. Either way you’re going to be affecting the dynamics in the living situation – you can try and see how it works out. Could it work out, I guess so, but why would you really want to try? No, seriously, tell me. I’m curious.

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My ex I broke up recently, but he wants to keep hooking up NSA style, until one or both of us lands a new beau. Do you think that’s a good idea?

What She Said:

It depends. Are you still in love with your ex? Are you hoping sex will bring the two of you back together? Or are you surfing familiar terrains until someone new comes along? This is different from a “no strings attached/ just for sex” scenario because you two have a history and emotions are most likely lingering.

Finding Your True Motives

Sex with an ex can be a comforting thing. It can also be a very fun thing! It’s important to be honest with yourself as to why you’re really there (other than the obvious). If you’re hoping to win back your former partner, you need to ask yourself why. The two of you broke up for a reason, so you need to question why you’re going back now. If it’s your lover who’s initiated the physical contact, you need to clarify his or her intentions.

Finding HIS True Motives

Sorry to sound like a stick in the mud – I’m all for sex, whether it be a casual fling or a long lasting connection. The concern, in this instance, is the motivations on both sides. If you’re both clear as to why you’ve decided to hop back in bed, then sex with the ex is a “Yay!” If the lines are blurred and there’s the possibility of more heartbreak on the horizon, I’d advise you to skip it. There are plenty of other people out there, which means there’s no need to live in the past – even if that past involves a booty call.

What He Said:

You two broke up. There was probably a reason, right? What? You didn’t break up with this person because it was the most amazing, positive and life affirming experience of your life? Really? You’re trying to tell me you didn’t break up because it was amazing in and out of the sheets? Wow. Shocker. Please let me pause while I recover from the shock of that infinitely profound and unexpected response.

Wow. So that happened. As I recover the pieces of my freshly blown mind, I’m left with a thought: that relationship probably ended for a reason. Usually, a reason that’s perfectly reasonable, correct and valid (unless of course, you have relationship issues. Whole other column).

Do You Really Want To Get Burned Again?

If it ended for a reason, why would you go back? That’s like burning your hand on an open flame and then getting burned again because you wanted to see if you could put your hand on the flame in a different way without getting burned. It’s a flame. That’s your hand. You will get burned every time. Maybe not in the same way, maybe not to the same degree, but yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus and your ass will get burned every time you put in contact with an open flame.

So should you continue to hook up with someone you broke up with? I’m not sure what Miss Cleo or the Magic 8 ball will say, but I can’t see anything wrong with it, right? I mean what could possibly go wrong when you light a match on a gasoline tanker? Nothing wrong with that scenario!

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In fact, there are just as many WOMEN out looking for a one night stand as MEN out looking for a one night stand. So why is it so damn tough to hook up? It’s because you’re looking in the wrong place!

So in this article, you’ll discover the 5 most popular places most men go to have a one night stand and why they’re the TOUGHEST places in the whole world to meet a girl.

Sports Bars/Watering Holes

You figure: Well, since it’s a bar, not a club, the people are more laid back and relaxed. The girls are more open to sex. And I feel comfortable here. This should be easy.

The reality: Bars are the TOUGHEST place to pick up ladies for a one night stand. Why?

• Her friends are here, watching her. They’ll judge her if she goes home with a guy.
• Other people see her here every week, and if she goes home with you, she’ll seem like a slut.
• She probably just wants to hang out and grab a drink with a few friends, not get approached by some horny stranger.

So if you’re trying to meet women at a bar, for a one night stand, you’ve got your work cut out for you.

How can you increase your chances of having sex? Imagine you know her from high school, and approach her that way. No, don’t say it – just think it.

For example: You approach with a friendly energy, like you already know her. You jump into the conversation, instead of starting a new one. And you talk to her AND her friends, before you pull her away.

Dance Clubs

You figure: Girls say they go to clubs to “dance with their friends.” That’s got to be bullshit. The only reason a woman would get dressed up like that and get that drunk is if she wanted to meet guys.

The reality: Some girls – a lot of them – actually go to clubs to dance with their friends. I wouldn’t believe it either, if my girlfriend didn’t head out every couple of weeks to dance with her friends, then come home, alone, and still stone sober.

So what you didn’t realize is THOSE ladies don’t want to be bothered. The same way you wouldn’t want to be bothered if you were hanging out with your friends at a bar. However, there’s probably an obstacle you DIDN’T predict:

• “The Club Scene” has it’s own rules and culture. If you’re not in it, you stick out like a sore thumb.
• The hottest women in the clubs are ALL in “the club scene,” and know all the “club scene” people at that club. If YOU aren’t in “the scene,” she can’t go home with you. It’s MAJOR negative points to her credibility in “The Scene.”

So have you ever wondered how come the HOTTEST girls in any given club just blow guys off, left and right? It’s not necessarily because she’s a bitch. It’s because going home with someone who’s not in “the scene” would ruin her social life, for good.

How can you fix that? Become part of “the scene.” Then you can flirt with her and take her home because you’re part of the crowd. Honestly though, unless you already enjoy going out clubbing 5-7 nights a week, this “scene” probably isn’t for you.

Meeting Women Online

You figure: Lots of hot women don’t like bars and clubs, and with all the Match.com advertisements, there must be plenty of chicks online. I’ve got cool interests, this should be easy.

The reality: Ever been at a party with two guys for every girl? It’s tough as hell to meet those chicks, because everybody and their brother is fighting for their attention. In the same way YOU would get tons of attention, if you took a baking or cooking class with a bunch of women. Girls at male dominated parties all of the sudden have choice, selection and power.

Now, imagine if that party had 6 or 7 men for every single attractive woman. That’s exactly what the online dating ratio is like because commercials on TV suck in average men like you and me. But the women come at a much slower pace. And the hot ones leave, right away, when they see the creepy messages they get.

This means women who date online are:

• Bombarded with messages. Want to see how many? Open a fake account using profile pictures from a hot friend of yours, or woman you know. See what messages you get from guys.
• Drunk with power. Imagine if every time YOU logged into an internet dating website, there were 30 messages waiting for you.
• These women are itching for a man to commit to a long, steady relationship – before – she has sex with him.

If you’re looking for a one night stand, close your computer. It won’t do you any good.

Strip Clubs

You figure: Ladies who work in strip clubs must be super sexy, and easy. They take their clothes off for money, for crying out loud!

The reality: Strippers have the most “game” out of any woman alive. Their jobs REQUIRE them to milk as much money out of you as possible. This doesn’t make them “evil” women – no, no. This makes them good at their profession.

This also means:

• Any affection you get from a stripper is probably trying to get money from you. Lots of teasing, lots of flirting, and all of it leading to more expensive, private dances.
• Most offers to come home with you aren’t on the “up and up” if you catch my drift.
• Finally, strippers – like “club girls” – have their own sets of dating and sex rules. Many far too complicated to mention, here.

So if you want to date – or sleep with – a stripper, you’ve got your work cut out for you. A one night stand? You’re barking up one of the TOUGHEST trees out there, partner.

Giving Your Ex A Booty Call

You figure: You already had sex with your ex-girlfriend. She always said it was good. And since she’s still single, maybe she’d like to come over to bump uglies.

The reality: Your timing is probably not the best, because you’re somewhat “desperate” for sex. And she can smell that on you, coming from a mile away. So if you finally get the booty call, here’s what you can expect:

• Lots of her trying to be “in the right” for your breakup.
• Lots of blame games, bullshit and fighting.
• Her pretending to be “disgusted” that you still want sex.

Let’s say you two DO hop in the sack. You’ll probably start to build a relationship again. Probably one that’s got SERIOUS flaws. And definitely not a one night stand.

The Easiest Place To Have A One Night Stand

It’s very simple: Anywhere you can meet a woman, during the day. Because when you meet women during the day, she’s not expecting there to be a sexual spark. When there is, she’s got less “shields” up against you. Mostly because this has never happened to her, before.

And she’ll be excited to try something new.

Related Posts

1. Sex Tips: 5 Ways To Keep A One Night Stand From Being Awkward
2. 5 Signs He Only Wants A One Night Stand
3. Stripper Lies To Watch Out For (If You Want A One-Night Stand With One)
4. 5 Ways to Avoid Striking Out This Friday Night
5. I’m Dating Again but My Sex Drive is Gone… Do I Stand a Chance?

Question: What should I do if it looks like the girl I’m dating is with me just for sex?

–YouTube Viewer

What Are You Looking For In A Relationship?

If you suspect that your girl is with you simply for the sex, stop and think about what you’re looking for in a relationship. Are you looking for a relationship that is sex only, or are you looking for something more serious? Do you want a long term relationship or do you want a casual relationship that involves a friendship in addition to sex? Stopping to define what you want in a relationship at this stage in your life is essential in figuring out if you want to stay in this particular relationship or not. If your girl is in it only for the sex and you want a deeper, more emotionally fulfilling relationship, you might want to consider moving on and dating other people. On the other hand, however, stop and consider that while you’re not getting what you want out of a relationship with your current girl, are you satisfied for the time being? If you would end up being single anyways and spending your time masturbating instead of having sex, why not continue to stay in a sex-only relationship until you meet someone you are interested in starting a real relationship with? If your girl really is in it only for the sex, she won’t mind you keeping your eyes peeled for someone who can better meet your needs.

Signs That She’s Just Looking For Sex

If you’re not sure that she’s just in it for the sex but you have your suspicions, there are many ways to find out. The way she acts towards you and her behaviors will definitely clue you in if she just wants sex from you and nothing else. In fact, these are the same types of behaviors that guys exhibit when they’re with a girl that they just consider to be a “booty call.” Your girl may not call you for days after having sex with you, but will call you again out of the blue if she wants more. She may call you only at night, or very late at night if she’s been out partying or hanging out with friends. She won’t want to hang out with you and may make excuses if you want to take her to dinner or take her to a game. She may hide her relationship with you from her friends, acting like she is “just friends” with you when you and her are together in front of them. When you are alone with her, however, she may act completely different towards you. She may bring up sex a lot in conversations with you and her, or she may just flat out put the moves on you when you first walk in her door. She may ask you to leave after sex instead of offering to let you stay the night or she may leave your house rather than asking to stay.

What To Do If You Want More Than Just Sex

If you are really wanting more out of this relationship than sex, talk to your girl. Let her know that you’re not getting what you need. Let her know that you really like her and that you want to be more than just a “booty call” to her. In some cases, a girl will assume that the man just wants sex with her so she tries to be what he wants. She may be surprised to hear that you want more than just sex and that you actually want a relationship! Don’t break up with her or end the relationship before talking to your girl and being completely honest with her. If you really like this girl, it would be a shame to let her go because of a simple miscommunication! If she really does want just sex though, and you’re not into that, move on because there are lots of other girls that would love to have an emotionally fulfilling relationship along with a sexual one.

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5. Q&A: Help! I Like This Girl But She Has A Boyfriend

Question: I think my current boyfriend may be in it only for the sex (everyone says he’s a sex addict). The first month was amazing and now it’s just like he only wants to hang if we are going to have sex. How can I tell if he’s just into it for the sex?

–YouTube Viewer

Does A High Sex Drive Mean They Don’t Love You?

In this situation, it’s important not to confuse your partner having a high sex drive with their feelings for you. If your partner has a high sex drive, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you or don’t enjoy spending time with you if you’re not having sex. Your partner may just have a large sexual appetite. Ask yourself this – does your partner only want to spend time with you if he knows that sex will be involved or does he simply want to have sex with you when you’re together? If it’s the latter, it doesn’t mean he wants you only for sex – it just means that he really likes having sex with you!

Listen To Your Gut

It can be difficult to distinguish whether your partner wants you just for sex or just really likes having sex with you a lot. No one can tell you the answer to this question – it’s something you have to find out yourself. Listen to your gut and follow your instincts. How does he act when you’re together and not having sex? What does he say when he’s away from you? Try letting your partner know that you want to have a date or spend time with him where there’s no sex involved, because you really enjoy his company. What is his reaction? Just be careful not to place blame on him or criticize him while you’re still trying to find out what his true motives are. If he really does care for you, finding out that you think he’s only in it for the sex might be very hurtful to him.  

If He’s In It For The Sex

If you find out that your partner is just in it for the sex, consider letting him go and moving on – just make sure that you’re confident that he’s only in the relationship for sex or you might be giving up a relationship with someone who truly cares about you. However, if you’re really sure that he only wants sex, don’t stay with him because you think you won’t meet anyone else or because you think youll be able to make him care for you. There are many people out there who will want to have a fulfilling relationship with you, sexually and emotionally.

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So how do you know for sure if you’re on the way to a relationship rather than just hooking up? You face what you are actually getting from your man.

So how do you take steps to make sure you are actually on the way to a relationship and not just his latest fling?

Here are 5 ways to know for sure!

5 Signs that you are just his fling!

1. Your man excludes your name when he talks about future events. Or he regularly talks about his future plans as “I will be doing this,” rather than “we will be doing this.”
2. You haven’t met any of your man’s close friends or family members. If he’s not showing you off, he’s hiding you.
3. You only see each other late at night or in private. If you mostly see your man at his place or late at night, then you are a secret affair and most likely there is another woman in the picture.
4. Your man rarely calls you in advance. And when he does call it’s to get together immediately or the same day. If he’s calling you at the last minute you are far from his first choice!
5. You man is only interested in sex. If your time together is nothing but rolling between the sheets and he rarely asks you questions about your life and ambitions, then you are just a fling.

5 Signs he thinks of you as his girlfriend!

1. Your man regularly includes you in talk of future plans—be it a concert, vacation, company party or family event. If he discusses upcoming events in his life and talks as though you will be there, he considers you someone he is dating.
2. Your man has introduced you to close friends and family members. He is proud of you and enjoys involving you the lives of people important to him.
3. Your man takes you out on real dates where he is actually spending money on you and being seen with you in pubic.
4. Your man calls you often and asks you out at least two days in advance.
5. Your man actually asks about your life, goals and dreams then listens to your answers. If he is investing time in getting to know you more than trying to jump in your pants, then he is pursuing a relationship with you.

Victorya Rogers is the author of The Automatic 2nd Date. To learn more about Victorya Rogers, visit ManToKeep.com.

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Have you ever been a booty call? Would you recognize if you were?

We all like to think that the person were seeing loves us, or at least likes us a lot. It’s really heartbreaking when we realize that we’re worth nothing more than sex to them.

Even if it’s great sex, it can still be heartbreaking to realize that you’re only a Booty Call…

When the sex is bad, it’s enough to make you go insane!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m 48, widow, dating a 58 years old guy who’s been married 32 years for 7 months now. Sex isn’t great but I really like – love him. Am I nuts?

We work for an airline and I see him every week.  He has shared his past affairs with me. His wife has a million dollar inheritance, he hates her but the money is important. He keeps saying that he wants me…but while in Paris, when I confided that I felt like I was falling in love with him…he said he wasn’t as “into” me, as his past affairs….? However, as soon as we arrived back in the States, he wanted me to stay with him in his hotel… I said no and went home…..   HELP!!!

– Chris, VA

Can You Say Booty Call?

So, here’s this guy who supposedly likes you, but ironically, the only time he calls you is for an out of town rendezvous to have sex. This is the definition of a “Booty Call”.

You may think you’ll love this guy, but it’s time for you to realize that you are only one thing to him… you are his Booty Call. PERIOD!!!

There’s only one piece of advice that we can give you. DUMP HIM! NOW!

Love is a two way street. Waiting for this guy to turn around and start loving you back is a complete waste of your time.

Make Room For A Two-Sided Relationship

It’s time to make room in your life for a two-sided relationship.

We all deserve someone who will love and respect us in return. There is absolutely no reason to waste your time with someone who is only using you. And this guy is obviously using you…

Now, having said that, if you don’t mind being a Booty Call and meeting this guy simply to have sex, then that’s fine, but recognize it for what it is…

In this situation however, the sex isn’t even that good.

This guy is obviously a total loser. He’s staying with his wife because she has a million dollar inheritance. You’re not his first affair. He’s just lame.

So run, run like the wind!!!

Related Posts

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5. How To Leave A Message & Get A Return Call

After all, they’re waiting for their gorgeous prince to ride in and rescue them, after which they’ll fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. And in today’s world, these guys are the closest thing they’ll find to a prince.

She thinks it’s true love. But what happens when this young woman figures out she’s not going to be his princess… and then realizes he’s got a princess in every city?

Here’s a question from a lady in Jamaica who’s enamored with someone famous and exotic, but she’s afraid she’s going to make a mistake taking their relationship too seriously and having a baby with him!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I am currently seeing someone who is part of an entourage of someone who is famous. I’m not expecting much from the relationship because I know he has girls throwing themselves at him daily. But, he brings out a certain side of me that I didn’t know existed – I feel ‘free’ when I’m with him.

The last time we were together he asked me a very shocking question. He asked if and when I’m ready to have a child if I would have his child. I really do not know what to do about this crazy relationship.

I try to stop from thinking about him but I am unsuccessful. Is something wrong with me for wanting this type of man?

– Shauna, Jamaica

Embrace How You Feel. There’s Nothing Wrong With You!

It’s OK to feel absolutely any way that you feel. Always embrace your feelings and accept them, but also understand where they’re coming from.

Being enamored with someone who has a life you can only dream of is very common, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Just understand this adoration for what it truly is.

Do You Love Him or the IDEA of HIM?

He says he loves you, and you say you love him.

But the most important thing is to separate the man from the overwhelming essence of freedom, power, and glory. Love the man, not the clothes, the cars, the money, the fortune, the fame. That’s his life, not yours. And it can end as abruptly as it started.

Having a love affair with his image will only leave you empty and feeling cheated when it’s over.

Can You Have a Family with a Man Like This?

Sure you can, but only if you’re fully ready and willing to be a single mom. The free spirit that so attracts you today is NOT “settle down and have a family” material; quite the contrary. Sure there are exceptions, but it normally doesn’t work that way.

You want a family and children with this man? Great. Get together and stay together for a few years. Get married, or not, whatever your preference, and figure out if your love is true. But get close, live your lives together, and then decide if you still truly want to be together for the long run. Only then should you consider bringing children into the world together.

Before that time, you have no way to know if he’ll be around. You’ll still be guessing, but at least it’ll be an educated guess.

How to Set Your Expectations

Is it possible to be in love with someone like this? Absolutely!

But be wary of setting expectations until you fully understand the situation. Base your plans on what is truly there, not on wishful thinking and excitement.

By all means enjoy your life and your times together, and have great fun. And let the relationship grow and evolve at it’s own pace. Don’t try to “lock it in” with marriage or (much worse) by having a child.

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I was seeing a 39 yr old Bipolar male. Until a year ago, he lived w/his mother. The only reason he moved out was because he did not get along w/his ailing step-father. His mother still handles all of his finances.

In the beginning of our relationship everything seemed nice, but then it turned. He called me every day for a while but would only see me once a week for sex. I thought that his BP Disorder had something to do with his behavior and accepted it-taking it slow.

He cancelled our plans on New Year’s Eve because he partied too hard the night B4 and I did not see him on my birthday.

He told me that I am beautiful and book smart and that scares him. After not hearing from him for 3 wks, he came over at 3:45 a.m. to "talk." We did talk, but he also wanted sex, which he DID NOT get! He also shocked me by showing me that he had shaved all the hair off of his genitals and thought that was something I would like. I found it to be strange (especially since I had not heard from him in so long). Now, he calls me once in a while.  Many months ago, I told him that I was in love with him and how his behavior hurts.

Can you please help me? I am still in love with him, but as of Christmas Eve, stopped telling him so.

The Answer

Sorry to say, but sounds to me like you’re the proverbial "Booty Call". Don’t let him use being Bipolar as an excuse to take advantage of you.

I know nothing about this medical condition and do not know if it could cause this type of behavior… Here are some resources that I found that may help you. 

http://www.psychologyinfo.com/depression/bipolar.htm

http://www.bipolarworld.net/York/dating.htm

Treating your girlfriend like a "booty call" is not on the list of normally displayed symptoms.

It sounds like for whatever reason, this man is not in any emotional state to be in any kind of serious relationship – whether the cause is BP disorder or simply a severe case of immaturity.

If I were in your shoes, I would show myself the well deserved respect that this man is not showing you, and either find a better relationship or enjoy my own company for a while. You do not need another person (man or woman) to confirm your greatness!

If you love yourself first, you will attract a man that loves and treats you the way you deserve to be treated.

This may not be what you want to hear, but I hope it helps.

Related Posts

1. The 9 Booty Call Commandments
2. Help! I’m A Booty Call AND The Sex Is Lousy!
3. My Ex Wants A Booty Call! Should I Accept?
4. Why Having Sex Right Away Doesn’t Mean He’ll Call…
5. Think You Have to Let Him Call You First? Not Anymore!