Ask Dan and Jennifer » booty call

Is He Really in Love or Are you Just a Fling?

Victorya Rogers — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 15:11:33 +0000

All too often women think they’re dating, yet sadly in their man’s mind they’re just a fling. Ouch!

So how do you know for sure if you’re on the way to a relationship rather than just hooking up? You face what you are actually getting from your man.

So how do you take steps to make sure you are actually on the way to a relationship and not just his latest fling?

Here are 5 ways to know for sure!

5 Signs that you are just his fling!

Your man excludes your name when he talks about future events. Or he regularly talks about his future plans as “I will be doing this,” rather than “we will be doing this.”
You haven’t met any of your man’s close friends or family members. If he’s not showing you off, he’s hiding you.
You only see each other late at night or in private. If you mostly see your man at his place or late at night, then you are a secret affair and most likely there is another woman in the picture.
Your man rarely calls you in advance. And when he does call it’s to get together immediately or the same day. If he’s calling you at the last minute you are far from his first choice!
You man is only interested in sex. If your time together is nothing but rolling between the sheets and he rarely asks you questions about your life and ambitions, then you are just a fling.

5 Signs he thinks of you as his girlfriend!

Your man regularly includes you in talk of future plans—be it a concert, vacation, company party or family event. If he discusses upcoming events in his life and talks as though you will be there, he considers you someone he is dating.
Your man has introduced you to close friends and family members. He is proud of you and enjoys involving you the lives of people important to him.
Your man takes you out on real dates where he is actually spending money on you and being seen with you in pubic.
Your man calls you often and asks you out at least two days in advance.
Your man actually asks about your life, goals and dreams then listens to your answers. If he is investing time in getting to know you more than trying to jump in your pants, then he is pursuing a relationship with you.

Victorya Rogers is the author of The Automatic 2nd Date. To learn more about Victorya Rogers, visit ManToKeep.com.

Help! I’m A Booty Call AND The Sex Is Lousy! (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 31 Dec 2007 16:43:08 +0000

Booty Call: "Calling someone or meeting with them purely for the sake of having sex".

Have you ever been a booty call? Would you recognize if you were?

We all like to think that the person were seeing loves us, or at least likes us a lot. It’s really heartbreaking when we realize that we’re worth nothing more than sex to them.

Even if it’s great sex, it can still be heartbreaking to realize that you’re only a Booty Call…

When the sex is bad, it’s enough to make you go insane!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m 48, widow, dating a 58 years old guy who’s been married 32 years for 7 months now. Sex isn’t great but I really like – love him. Am I nuts?

We work for an airline and I see him every week. He has shared his past affairs with me. His wife has a million dollar inheritance, he hates her but the money is important. He keeps saying that he wants me…but while in Paris, when I confided that I felt like I was falling in love with him…he said he wasn’t as "into" me, as his past affairs….? However, as soon as we arrived back in the States, he wanted me to stay with him in his hotel… I said no and went home….. HELP!!!

– Chris, VA

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

Don’t forget. Click here to Give this Video 5 Stars on YouTube and Subscribe to Ask Dan And Jennifer so you’ll stay up to date with our latest videos.

Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts – leave a comment below.

Can You Say Booty Call?

So, here’s this guy who supposedly likes you, but ironically, the only time he calls you is for an out of town rendezvous to have sex. This is the definition of a "Booty Call".

You may think you’ll love this guy, but it’s time for you to realize that you are only one thing to him… you are his Booty Call. PERIOD!!!

There’s only one piece of advice that we can give you. DUMP HIM! NOW!

Love is a two way street. Waiting for this guy to turn around and start loving you back is a complete waste of your time.

Make Room For A Two-Sided Relationship

It’s time to make room in your life for a two-sided relationship.

We all deserve someone who will love and respect us in return. There is absolutely no reason to waste your time with someone who is only using you. And this guy is obviously using you…

Now, having said that, if you don’t mind being a Booty Call and meeting this guy simply to have sex, then that’s fine, but recognize it for what it is…

In this situation however, the sex isn’t even that good.

This guy is obviously a total loser. He’s staying with his wife because she has a million dollar inheritance. You’re not his first affair. He’s just lame.

So run, run like the wind!!!

Rock Star Syndrome – Are You In Love With Him or the IDEA of Him? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 19:10:30 +0000

Every little girl grows up wanting to be a beautiful princess. So is it any wonder that young girls are so attracted to rock stars, movie stars, and pop idols?

After all, they’re waiting for their gorgeous prince to ride in and rescue them, after which they’ll fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. And in today’s world, these guys are the closest thing they’ll find to a prince.

She thinks it’s true love. But what happens when this young woman figures out she’s not going to be his princess… and then realizes he’s got a princess in every city?

Here’s a question from a lady in Jamaica who’s enamored with someone famous and exotic, but she’s afraid she’s going to make a mistake taking their relationship too seriously and having a baby with him!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I am currently seeing someone who is part of an entourage of someone who is famous. I’m not expecting much from the relationship because I know he has girls throwing themselves at him daily. But, he brings out a certain side of me that I didn’t know existed – I feel ‘free’ when I’m with him.

The last time we were together he asked me a very shocking question. He asked if and when I’m ready to have a child if I would have his child. I really do not know what to do about this crazy relationship.

I try to stop from thinking about him but I am unsuccessful. Is something wrong with me for wanting this type of man?

– Shauna, Jamaica

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

Don’t forget. Click here to Give this Video 5 Stars on YouTube and Subscribe to Ask Dan And Jennifer so you’ll stay up to date with our latest videos.

Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts – leave a comment below.

Embrace How You Feel. There’s Nothing Wrong With You!

It’s OK to feel absolutely any way that you feel. Always embrace your feelings and accept them, but also understand where they’re coming from.

Being enamored with someone who has a life you can only dream of is…

Bipolar Booty Call?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 20 Feb 2007 23:03:42 +0000

The Question

I was seeing a 39 yr old Bipolar male. Until a year ago, he lived w/his mother. The only reason he moved out was because he did not get along w/his ailing step-father. His mother still handles all of his finances.

In the beginning of our relationship everything seemed nice, but then it turned. He called me every day for a while but would only see me once a week for sex. I thought that his BP Disorder had something to do with his behavior and accepted it-taking it slow.

He cancelled our plans on New Year’s Eve because he partied too hard the night B4 and I did not see him on my birthday.

He told me that I am beautiful and book smart and that scares him. After not hearing from him for 3 wks, he came over at 3:45 a.m. to "talk." We did talk, but he also wanted sex, which he DID NOT get! He also shocked me by showing me that he had shaved all the hair off of his genitals and thought that was something I would like. I found it to be strange (especially since I had not heard from him in so long). Now, he calls me once in a while. Many months ago, I told him that I was in love with him and how his behavior hurts.

Can you please help me? I am still in love with him, but as of Christmas Eve, stopped telling him so.

The Answer

Sorry to say, but sounds to me like you’re the proverbial "Booty Call". Don’t let him use being Bipolar as an excuse to take advantage of you.

I know nothing about this medical condition and do not know if it could cause this type of behavior… Here are some resources that I found that may help you.

http://www.psychologyinfo.com/depression/bipolar.htm

http://www.bipolarworld.net/York/dating.htm

Treating your girlfriend like a "booty call" is not on the list of normally displayed symptoms.

It sounds like for whatever reason, this man is not in any emotional state to be in any kind of serious relationship – whether the cause is BP disorder or simply a severe case of immaturity.

If I were in your shoes, I would show myself the well deserved respect that this man is not showing you, and either find a better relationship or enjoy my own company for a while. You do not need another person (man or woman) to confirm your greatness!

If you love yourself first, you will attract a man that loves and treats you the way you deserve to be treated.

This may not be what you want to hear, but I hope it helps.