Astrological Compatibility: Are The Stars In Alignment For Your Relationship?

Jeffrey Kishner — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 14:20:30 +0000

Some partners are possessive, while others don’t even ask where you were all night. And when it comes to independence, it can be maddening if the two of you don’t have a good fit. You may want your main squeeze to be with you all the time, while your honey bristles at being under a tight leash.

It’s frustrating when your needs are so out of line with another’s.

Fortunately, astrology can lend some insight into the desire for freedom versus security.

Each sign of the zodiac has a different energy, and can be sorted into one of two camps: extroverted and introverted. Extroverted types need to be out and about, mixing it up with lots of people to feel fulfilled. Introverts need time alone, and don’t easily come out of their shells. They still need people, but are more likely to have a trusted few than a whole entourage.

Fire and Air Signs

Fire and Air signs tend to be extroverts. The Fire signs include Aries, Leo and Sagittarius.

Aries has a need for novelty, and ploughs ahead to act on their own desires, regardless of the feelings of anyone else. This pioneering sign hates to be controlled or held back, so will not respond well to ultimatums that they spend every night at home. Aries is ruled by planet Mars, the god of war … so you don’t want to get in this sign’s way!

Leo loves to be the life of the party and thrives on attention and adulation. However, they also require loyalty, and will not take kindly to your request to spend a quiet weekend tending to the garden. Whereas Aries will just do his or her own thing, Leo will insist on dragging you to the next party to be their arm candy. In other words, this Sun-ruled sign cannot be too independent, because Leo depends on others to reflect back their brilliance.

Sagittarius, on the other hand, is a wild horse that cannot be restrained. This sign, ruled by the largest planet in the solar system, needs to explore the world! Hungry for sport and adventure, Sag absolutely cannot be held down in one place for too long — unless they’re committed to completing a PhD in World Religions. Although they place importance on morality and ethics, these ideals are not going to keep them faithful if you insist on keeping them home under lock and key.

The Air Signs

The Air signs include Gemini, Libra and Aquarius.

Gemini needs lots of stimulation or they get easily bored. So unless you’re the most interesting and entertaining person on the planet, be prepared to give Gem lots of room to converse with a variety of people. This sign is ruled by Mercury, the messenger, and requires a constant flow of information (gossip!) to feel satisfied. So give your Gemini partner ample time to talk on the phone and tap away on IM, and they’ll be happy.

Libra is an exception to the freedom rule. Although an outgoing air sign, Libra is ruled by Venus, goddess of love. The Libran absolutely needs a one-on-one relationship to feel fulfilled, and especially the kind that feels like an equal, fair partnership. Libra will want to spend a lot of time with you, and if you insist on a boys or girls night out, then Libra will want to do the same, just to balance the scales.

Aquarius is the most independent sign of the zodiac. The sign of friends and groups is rather detached and impersonal, preferring the company of many over deep intimacy with one. You’re more likely to find Aquarius rallying for political change than for more heart-to-heart talks. This sign won’t mind if you spend much of your time somewhere else, and will insist on the same lee-way from you.

Earth and Water Signs

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Why So Many Men Are Emotionally Unavailable – The Astrology of Feeling

Jeffrey Kishner — Fri, 23 Nov 2007 14:13:09 +0000

Emotionally Unavailable Men

Many women wish that their men were more emotionally available, yet when a man cries or shows sensitivity, he is perceived as weak or un-masculine.

In the culture of the U.S., men have been raised to be John Wayne, not Johnny Depp. A guy’s effete mannerisms make one wonder about his sexual orientation; a tear shed makes him a sissy. Boys may be raised with classic lines like "Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about."

Face it…

Despite more flexibility in our culture regarding gender, boys are still expected to be boys. Emotions are considered the territory of girls, and boys are only supposed to focus on playing in the dirt (or playing dirty) and developing their analytical skills. It’s more important for a guy to diagnose a problem with his carburetor than identify the source of his melancholy.

Despite the weight of upbringing and social mores, some boys still turn into "girly men," as the famous Hanz and Franz SNL sketch goes. And it has nothing to do with being gay or straight.

Why is that?

The Astrology of Feeling

In astrology, the twelve signs of the zodiac are broken up into four elements, or ways of processing experience. These elements are Earth, Fire, Air and Water. The Earth sign man is a solid, dependable type who only believes in what he can hold with his two hands. The Air sign man is logical and verbal, more into information and dialogue than inner experience. The Fire sign man is outgoing and inspirational, channeling his passion into creativity and sharing his message with the world. And then there’s the Water sign man.

The Water sign man is either a Cancer, Scorpio or Pisces. These are all deeply emotional signs. Sometimes a Water sign man will have a tough exterior, but he is simply protecting his vulnerable insides from the world. After all, both the crab (Cancer) and scorpion (Scorpio) have exoskeletons. Do you know any men who withdraw into their shells and then defend themselves by side-stepping (Cancer) or stinging you (Scorpio)? Or how about men who create confusion by stirring up the waters with their fins (Pisces)? All these sea animals have developed ways to survive, and it is no different for Water sign men.

Unfortunately, with all the pressure to be "real men," these Water sign guys often rely on their defenses to keep their strong feelings at bay. A Pisces may resort to alcohol, a Scorpio may play power games, a Cancer may become zealously attached to his country and his local football team.

However, if you gain a Water sign man’s trust and help him feel secure, he will open up a world of feeling to you… and your relationship will be much richer for it.

Featured Author, Jeffrey Kishner is a professional astrologer and Licensed Mental Health Counselor. He blogs about the astrology of relationships at Seduction Central, and created the Seduction Central Social Network and Forum, where members discuss astrological compatibility. Subscribe to his blog’s feed or get updates via email.