Is Sex With Someone You Work With A Good Idea?

Again, this is something you need to think about before you get into it, whether you’re looking at casual sex or a steady relationship. Although this kind of sex can be super hot, it’s also best to examine the situation beforehand and think with your head – not your penis.

What kind of rules does your workplace have about relationships between the employees? Is it simply something the company frowns upon or are there serious repercussions if you ever got found out? If the latter is the case, sex with someone you are employed with really may not be the best option for you. Some other things you want to think about are whether the person is married or not (that will really complicate things) and if you could withstand losing your job if you got busted. Really think it through first!

Keeping It On The Downlow

If you do decide to go ahead and have sex with someone you work with (in or out of an actual relationship), you’ve got to make sure that the sex stays on the downlow. Here’s how to make sure your secret stays a secret:

• Don’t let the sex affect your attitude at work. Don’t walk into work looking like you just got laid, while your fellow employee does just the same. Pretty soon, people will put the puzzle pieces together. Just go to work like you normally do and act the way you normally do.
• Be incredibly discreet. Put their phone number in your phone under another name.
• Don’t allow the work relationship you have with this person to change at all – people can sense this. Treat them the way you normally would at work (as though nothing were going on between the two of you personally) and make sure the romance and sex is limited to only after you punch the clock. Work hours are not the time for flirting or sexual innuendo!
• Never refer to sex at the workplace, and never talk about what you’re going to do later, where you’re going to meet up, etc. Make sure those conversations stay under wraps.

Is There Anything Really Wrong With Sex With Someone You Work With?

All disclaimers aside, no. If two people are legally of age to have sex and consensually do so, there’s really nothing wrong with it at all. So if you do decide to take the plunge and date a co-worker, have fun with it! Don’t be sorry or feel guilty about it if you and your partner have both agreed to make things stay professional at work.

Relationships that have started between employees are not at all uncommon – in fact, it makes total sense that since you’re at work all day almost every day, that you’ll meet someone you find interesting and want to get to know better (or have sex with). If you really like this person or feel a strong sexual attraction to them, there’s no reason to be completely closed off to the idea – because with the right attitude, you can have a lot of fun and you may just meet someone you fall in love with! You just have to make sure you go about it in an adult way and cover all your bases first.

Some Important Things To Remember

• Absolutely no affection, fondling, flirting or anything else while you are at work. This rule CANNOT be broken if you don’t want to get caught and possibly lose your job.
• If you’re going to date around the office, make sure you don’t date everyone in the office. You don’t want to get a reputation for being that guy.
• Be open to a long term relationship. It may start out as an office fling, but it could easily move into something more. The thing that is unique about office relationships is that you spend so much time with the person at work that you really get to know them. So take your time with it and let it go wherever it goes!

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What She Said:

Set the intention of finding a casual fling for your vacay – odds are you’ll meet someone with the same goal!

Go Tropical

Nothing says “vacation” like getting lit on rum and trying to limbo. It’s a great way to show that you’re fun loving, you’re loosing up and you’re willing to shed your inhibitions! It’s also a great way to get a preview of who’s the most flexible amongst your potential flings. Bonus – the warmer the climate, the fewer the clothes.

Go On A Singles’ Cruise

Yep, it sounds cheesy – and yes, they do still exist! However, if you’re willing to set aside you’re skepticism, odds are you’ll be knee-deep in fun. What else are you going to do, stranded together in the middle of the ocean?

Hit The Bars

No matter where your getaway takes you, bars and alcohol are the universal combination for folks who want to socialize and let their guard down. This is doubly true when you’re at a tourist destination. Make eye contact, start up a friendly conversation and see where it leads.

Flirt!

Be it the restaurant, the bar or in line for the next parasailing spot. If you see someone you’re interested in, give him or her a smile. You’ve got nothing to lose!

Ask

Vacations aren’t reality – they’re an escape from the daily grind. Therefore the normal rules don’t apply. Approaching someone with a bold proposition that might get you slapped back home could be just the ticket for a freewheelin’ traveler. Especially during Spring Break or Burning Man. Just saying!

What He Said:

Be Direct

You don’t have forever to make this happen. You are on vacation for a short, specified time. Make the most of it. Go big or go home. Being shy just isn’t get this done. You need to have some confidence, liquid or otherwise.

Forget Who You Are

You are not your job or your home life or your obligations. All the stresses and duties you have at home are at home. Not on vacation. So if you’re not the type of person to have a threesome or have a one night stand or pick up someone at a bar, who cares? You aren’t that person on vacation. Be that guy or girl you’ve always wanted to be.

Be Fearless

What do you care if someone slaps you for being too bold? What do you care if you get shot down? You’re on vacation? You’ll never see these people again! It’s not like you vacation in the place you live and work! That’s not much of a vacation. So you go somewhere new and exciting, and you go there for a reason. So go for it! Say and do things that you wouldn’t normally. That’s what a vacation is. An escape from reality. Own it. Embrace it.

Take Accountability

It’s your vacation. Ownership of it is on your shoulders. If you have fun or you don’t, if you have sex or you don’t, it is on you. You can’t control other people so having goals based on other people may not be so great but make sure you control things on your end and you can’t go wrong.

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Question: This is my first question to you guys, and i just got wind saying that you guys know your stuff when it comes to relationships. I got out of a 5 year relationship with my fiance, and its been 3 months. I’m talking to women, and it seems like all women want now is casual sex, no commitment. I feel like I keep getting stuck in the “friend zone” and that’s all women look at me as. Any advice?

–YouTube Viewer

Are You Really Ready For Committment?

It’s a common belief that “like attracts like” and those looking for serious relationships will actually be attracted to each other. If you’ve just gotten out of a long, committed relationship, you may subconciously just be looking for friendships right now and not know it. If you’re only attracting women who simply want to be friends and have casual sex with no strings attached, take a moment to think about if that’s really what you want too. It’s okay if you’re not ready for a serious relationship and having fun with friends is a great way to get yourself back in the dating game. Sit down and really consider what you want at this time. Are you really looking for another committed relationship or are you attracting the kind of people you subconciously want to date right now?

Don’t Rush It

There’s no rush when it comes to dating after ending a serious relationship with someone. Even if you were the one who ended the relationship, the body, mind and soul still needs to grieve for the loss and take time to adjust to a new lifestyle. Things are very different for you now, and it’s important to give yourself time to absorb it. That doesn’t mean isolate yourself, but you may want to be careful about jumping right into another committed relationship. Give yourself time to think about the relationship, but also allow yourself to think about what you want now before you take the next step.

Attracting The Kind Of Partner You Want

When you’re really ready for a committed relationship, trust that you’ll start attracting people who feel the same way you do and are also looking for a committed relationship. Focus more on having fun now, and let whatever happens happen. Time has a funny way of healing old wounds and paving the way for new and better things in your life if you let it. Constantly trying to attract a partner who wants a serious relationship when you don’t – even subconciously – will only put more stress on you and make you feel like you’re not “dateable” material. Don’t worry about it! Just have fun and build new friendships and nurture old ones. Take this opportunity to make your life what you want it to be right now and in time, the right person will come.

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Have you ever been a booty call? Would you recognize if you were?

We all like to think that the person were seeing loves us, or at least likes us a lot. It’s really heartbreaking when we realize that we’re worth nothing more than sex to them.

Even if it’s great sex, it can still be heartbreaking to realize that you’re only a Booty Call…

When the sex is bad, it’s enough to make you go insane!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m 48, widow, dating a 58 years old guy who’s been married 32 years for 7 months now. Sex isn’t great but I really like – love him. Am I nuts?

We work for an airline and I see him every week.  He has shared his past affairs with me. His wife has a million dollar inheritance, he hates her but the money is important. He keeps saying that he wants me…but while in Paris, when I confided that I felt like I was falling in love with him…he said he wasn’t as “into” me, as his past affairs….? However, as soon as we arrived back in the States, he wanted me to stay with him in his hotel… I said no and went home…..   HELP!!!

– Chris, VA

Can You Say Booty Call?

So, here’s this guy who supposedly likes you, but ironically, the only time he calls you is for an out of town rendezvous to have sex. This is the definition of a “Booty Call”.

You may think you’ll love this guy, but it’s time for you to realize that you are only one thing to him… you are his Booty Call. PERIOD!!!

There’s only one piece of advice that we can give you. DUMP HIM! NOW!

Love is a two way street. Waiting for this guy to turn around and start loving you back is a complete waste of your time.

Make Room For A Two-Sided Relationship

It’s time to make room in your life for a two-sided relationship.

We all deserve someone who will love and respect us in return. There is absolutely no reason to waste your time with someone who is only using you. And this guy is obviously using you…

Now, having said that, if you don’t mind being a Booty Call and meeting this guy simply to have sex, then that’s fine, but recognize it for what it is…

In this situation however, the sex isn’t even that good.

This guy is obviously a total loser. He’s staying with his wife because she has a million dollar inheritance. You’re not his first affair. He’s just lame.

So run, run like the wind!!!

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After all, they’re waiting for their gorgeous prince to ride in and rescue them, after which they’ll fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. And in today’s world, these guys are the closest thing they’ll find to a prince.

She thinks it’s true love. But what happens when this young woman figures out she’s not going to be his princess… and then realizes he’s got a princess in every city?

Here’s a question from a lady in Jamaica who’s enamored with someone famous and exotic, but she’s afraid she’s going to make a mistake taking their relationship too seriously and having a baby with him!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I am currently seeing someone who is part of an entourage of someone who is famous. I’m not expecting much from the relationship because I know he has girls throwing themselves at him daily. But, he brings out a certain side of me that I didn’t know existed – I feel ‘free’ when I’m with him.

The last time we were together he asked me a very shocking question. He asked if and when I’m ready to have a child if I would have his child. I really do not know what to do about this crazy relationship.

I try to stop from thinking about him but I am unsuccessful. Is something wrong with me for wanting this type of man?

– Shauna, Jamaica

Embrace How You Feel. There’s Nothing Wrong With You!

It’s OK to feel absolutely any way that you feel. Always embrace your feelings and accept them, but also understand where they’re coming from.

Being enamored with someone who has a life you can only dream of is very common, and there’s nothing wrong with it. Just understand this adoration for what it truly is.

Do You Love Him or the IDEA of HIM?

He says he loves you, and you say you love him.

But the most important thing is to separate the man from the overwhelming essence of freedom, power, and glory. Love the man, not the clothes, the cars, the money, the fortune, the fame. That’s his life, not yours. And it can end as abruptly as it started.

Having a love affair with his image will only leave you empty and feeling cheated when it’s over.

Can You Have a Family with a Man Like This?

Sure you can, but only if you’re fully ready and willing to be a single mom. The free spirit that so attracts you today is NOT “settle down and have a family” material; quite the contrary. Sure there are exceptions, but it normally doesn’t work that way.

You want a family and children with this man? Great. Get together and stay together for a few years. Get married, or not, whatever your preference, and figure out if your love is true. But get close, live your lives together, and then decide if you still truly want to be together for the long run. Only then should you consider bringing children into the world together.

Before that time, you have no way to know if he’ll be around. You’ll still be guessing, but at least it’ll be an educated guess.

How to Set Your Expectations

Is it possible to be in love with someone like this? Absolutely!

But be wary of setting expectations until you fully understand the situation. Base your plans on what is truly there, not on wishful thinking and excitement.

By all means enjoy your life and your times together, and have great fun. And let the relationship grow and evolve at it’s own pace. Don’t try to “lock it in” with marriage or (much worse) by having a child.

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