The people who are able to make a career in the adult industry are all known being abso-freaking-lutely AMAZING in bed. The top porn stars in the world are better at giving their partners incredibly intense orgasms than just about anybody out there.

Can You Have A Porn Star Sex Life?

Now, just because you might never be receiving an award at the AVN, doesn’t mean you can’t have the sex life of a porn star. Here are several very powerful ways to give your partner multiple orgasms BEFORE you penetrate her, using only your fingers.

So how do you give your partner incredible, body-shaking orgasms with nothing but your fingers? Simple, just keep reading, and take notes.

Women can have many kinds of orgasms, but today we are going to focus on two kinds: Clitoral, and G-spot orgasms. First, you are going to learn how to make her cum by each one individually, and then I’m going to show you how to combine them for something so explosive, she very well may pop your ear drums from screaming so loudly.

Clitoral Orgasms

Doctors and other sex education experts have all agreed that a woman’s clitoris was designed solely for sexual pleasure. So being able to stimulate it properly is a great way to make her shake and moan for more.

In order to locate her clitoris, take your middle finger and starting at the opening of her vagina, slowly work your way up a bit, until you feel something that feels like a tiny knot. This, my friend is her clit, and all of the thousands of amazing nerve endings in it will thank you for finding it.

Now, start to slowly make small circles with your finger on her clit (either clock-wise or counter clock-wise, it’s up to you). Once you have a nice comfortable and even pace, you’ll very quickly notice her body shaking and her breathing pattern changing. Keep doing EXACTLY what you are doing. Too many men change up their technique, and this absolutely ruins the experience for women.

You should also keep in mind that the lighter you touch her clitoris, the better. Since she is so sensitive there, touching her any harder then you would touch your laptops track pad, could very easily hurt her and ruin the experience. Just this one simple technique alone can give just about any woman multiple orgasms, very quickly.

G-Spot Orgasms

First of all, the G-spot isn’t actually a “spot,” it’s actually an entire area located approximately 2 inches inside the vagina on the upper vaginal wall (on her stomach side, instead of the anus side).

So while your partner is lying on her back, insert your middle finger in to her vagina, with your palm facing upwards. Stroke your finger along her upper vaginal wall until you find something that feels like a ribbed surface, similar to the inside of your mouth, right behind your top row of front teeth.

Congratulations, you’ve now done something that most men will never do. You’ve found the G-spot! And now that you know where it is, it’s time to learn how to simulate it properly.

With her laying on her back, and you kneeling in front of her, with your middle and ring or pointer fingers touching her G-spot, you are going to want to use a “come over here” motion.

One thing you need to watch out for is the amount of pressure you use when fingering your partner. Most men are very strong, and don’t realize just how much they are using. Remember to be gentle when you are stimulating a woman’s G-spot, because it’s hard for us to enjoy what you’re doing, if is uncomfortable.

How To Tell If She’s Digging It

Okay, so how do you know that you’re woman is really enjoying it? Well asides from the moaning, screaming, body shaking, and her digging her mails in to you; you should pay close attention to her breathing patterns.

If her breathing seems a little erratic, and almost as if she’s panting, then that’s a great clue that you are doing a good job; but you can do even better.

The Ultimate Fingering Orgasm

If you can perfect those two techniques, you will be able to do what 95% of men cannot do – give her a blended orgasm.

If you think about it, combining both techniques should be pretty straightforward right? While your partner is lying on her back, you would use your dominant hand to stimulate her G-spot while simultaneously using your other hand to make those tiny circles on her clitoris.

Well, like most of life’s greatest pleasures, this is a bit trickier then you would think.

Since you are using both of your hands to perform different tasks, the brain has a very difficult time processing both things at the same time. If you have ever tried to play the drums, you should know exactly what I’m talking about.

Practice Makes Perfect

The only way to get this technique down perfectly is to practice, practice, practice. I highly recommend waiting until you are alone in your house to do this. Start by using a pillow as if it was a woman. Lay it down flat on either your bed or couch and imagine that it is your partner’s body.

Start with the clitoris technique for a few minutes, and then switch to the G-spot one. Once you feel comfortable enough, try to do them both at the same time. Most people will find this very frustration at first, but don’t worry. Star very slowly, and then gradually speed up a little.

If you practice this for 10-15 minutes a day, you should have no time mastering it within a couple of days (a week at the most). And then think about how amazing of a feeling it will be to know that you are one of the few people alive with the ability to give virtually any woman you want simultaneous multiple orgasms BEFORE penetration?

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Masturbate First Before Trying With Your Guy

If you’ve never had a blended orgasm before, you’re likely not going to have one if you try it for the first time when you’re with your guy. Instead, grab your favorite sex toy and head to the bedroom for a little bit of solo fun. To have a blended orgasm, you need to be relaxed and completely in the moment – which is not likely if you’re feeling pressure from your guy to have a huge orgasm.

Start By Stimulating Your Clitoris

Start masturbating by gently touching your clitoris, either with your fingers or your favorite sex toy. Use a dab of lube here if you like, although some women enjoy touching their clitoris without lube. Do this for a short while until you notice that you are fully aroused and stimulated.

Switch To Stimulating Your G-Spot

Switch from stimulating your clitoris to stimulating your g-spot. You can use your fingers for this if you’ve reached your g-spot before that way, but you’re probably going to have more luck with a sex toy that is designed for g-spot stimulation. If you’ve never found your g-spot before, this is a good time to try doing so. Once you find your g-spot, stimulate it gently with your favorite strokes until you’re very, very aroused.

Stimulate Both, Switching Back And Forth

Once you’ve reached a state of complete and total arousal, start switching back and forth between stimulating your clitoris and stimulating your g-spot. You’re probably going to be using two hands while you’re masturbating, and if you’ve never done so before, it’s important that you’re alone and comfortable and not self conscious at all. If your guy is with you or watching you the first time you do this, it’s very likely you’re not going to be able to get relaxed enough to achieve orgasm at all, let alone a blended orgasm.

Stimulate Both Your G-Spot And Your Clitoris At Once

When you feel like you’ve almost reached the point of no return by switching back and forth between stimulating your g-spot and stimulating your clitoris, start stimulating them both at once. Again, this is going to be a two handed adventure. At this point, you can go as hard or as soft as you like to reach orgasm, depending on what feels good at the time. Starting off with firm pressure is not the way to go when you first get going, because you need plenty of time to warm up and become aroused. However, once you’re really into it, firm pressure (especially against your g-spot) might be just what you need to push yourself over the edge. In fact, many women report experiencing female ejaculation when they masturbate this way and have a blended orgasm.

The Right Sex Positions For A Blended Orgasm

While having a blended orgasm is possible in many different sex positions, there are a few that will make having this type of orgasm easier. Doggy style is a great sex position for a blended orgasm, because it allows his penis to stimulate your g-spot from behind while you are able to reach down and touch your clitoris yourself. Woman on top is also another good position for a blended orgasm because women can control the depth of penetration and grind up against his groin for clitoral stimulation.

Having A Blended Orgasm During Oral Sex

Many women report that the best types of blended orgasms are through oral sex. Try this after you have acheived a blended orgasm on your own through masturbation. Have your man go down on you and slowly lick your clitoris first, before slipping his fingers in your vagina and stimulating your g-spot with the “come hither” motion. You can have him repeat the steps above and switch back and forth from stimulating your clitoris with his tongue to stimulating your g-spot with his fingers. Of course, you’ll be in absolute heaven when he starts doing both at once!

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Get To Know Her Hot Spots

Some women are big fans of lengthy foreplay only because their hot buttons get stimulated if the foreplay is long. This means not all of her erogenous zones are near or around her pubic region. Get your hands all over her and take note of her reaction every time your hand fondles a particular spot. Take note of that spot because you may need to touch or kiss it again during penetration, and you’re about to climax while she’s barely there.

You have to make sure you push the right buttons, and the way to do that is by leisurely exploring her body. It’s not always true that women who have their orgasm during foreplay are too tired for penetration. Women are multi-orgasmic, unlike men. In fact, the truth is that women are more eager to go for the next round if the first one was fantastic.

Get Her In The Mood

Speaking of hot buttons, the second way to giving a woman a screaming orgasm is to get her in the mood for hot sex. Some women are so hot before the actual penetration that they can climax with minimal prodding. And guess what, if you get her in a state of bliss before the actual sex, through making out or verbal seduction, her orgasms during sex will be much stronger.

Cold sex means just that. She lies there while you do your thing and take your pleasure. She isn’t in the mood and she thinks she’s doing you a favour by simply letting you have your way. That won’t do at all. Set the mood or the fire won’t catch. Fondle her on her hot spots and whisper sexy things (or the things you want to do to her) in her ear. By doing this, you get her psychologically and emotionally prepared to orgasm.

Get The Skills

One factor to giving your girl a screaming orgasm is your skill. Her mood will hold up if she knows she can expect the best skills in love making from you. This particularly applies if you’ve been dating for a while and the woman can tell when you’re getting in your groove, making both of you hot enough to climax together. Some guys are great at kissing but cannot hold their own when it comes to sex. Don’t be one of those guys. Get the skills you need to make a woman scream in bed as she nears orgasm, and during her second or third one.

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So, what can you do? Here are some suggestions…

Stimulate Her Nipples During Penetration

The purpose of clitoral stimulation during penetration is to give a woman another variation of sexual pleasure on top of the sensation of being entered. But the clitoris is not the only place that’s susceptible to touching during sex.

There’s another part of her body that’s within reach during sex, her nipples. You can touch or lick her nipples while she’s on top, or you can touch them when you’re in doggy mode or missionary. Remember that a woman likes it when you lick her nipples during foreplay and she might even have a short orgasm called a “nip-gasm” (a burst of sensation during nipple stimulation) if you do it right. That sensation, when added to the sensation she feels while you’re penetrating her will send her reeling.

Watch Her Masturbate

Female masturbation is very different for a woman that doesn’t like clitoral stimulation as compared to masturbation for a woman who depends on clitoral stimulation to climax. Face the mirror while you’re penetrating her from behind and watch how she touches herself down there. Moreover, learn from what you observe. Some women dislike touching the clitoris directly because of sensitivity issues, but they may touch other parts.

Some women would gently pinch the cheeks of the outer lips (labia majora) inward to rub against each other in a rhythmic manner. This is a logical way to stimulate the clitoris without touching it directly. Some women may press their whole palm on the mound or just below the abdomen when penetration starts to induce indirect clitoral pressure. Or she may use a dildo or vibrator to access her g-spot instead of her clitoris. Observe her and get a clue. Then, on your next round, you can do it for her.

Remember that not all women are into clitoral stimulation. Although, the majority of women like it, there may be some women who don’t. The thing is, it’s not something you can just ask outright over dinner. You have to tread lightly during foreplay and observe her reaction when your fingers find their way to her clitoris. The good old formula of “touch her clitoris” may work most of the time, but you need a plan B just in case the girl is not into that.

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By average, we mean in the 5-6 inch margin. But this too could put men who have penis sizes lower than five inches feel insecure. So, let’s clarify the main point: size is only an issue to men who don’t know how to properly please women. If a woman thought the sex was unsatisfactory, believe me, it’s not your size, it’s your skills.

Angle Your Thrusts

The angle of thrusting matters, especially if your penis is small. You should know that a woman’s g-spot is located near the entrance of her vagina on the upper part. The doggy position can let you touch that spot in a more intense manner, but you can also do this using the missionary position. Just put a pillow or two beneath the woman’s thighs so her hips are slightly elevated.

Touch Her Clitoris

In the end, you should realize that a woman could reach climax easily when her clitoris is stimulated during penetration. The clitoris may be small, but it’s the core of a woman’s pleasure. Adding the sensation of clitoral fondling into the mix while you’re having sex will push her over the edge. In fact, no matter what stage of sex you’re on, you should not quit touching her clitoris one way or another. Even if it’s just thrusting and grinding so that your pubic region presses on her mound during sex. This action will lead to indirect clitoral stimulation, which makes all the difference in terms of her pleasure.

You should never let your penis size bother you. In reality, you are probably the only one bothered by it. If a woman has had many lovers in the past, it’s just normal that she compares you, size-wise, but the thing is, if you’re skilled enough in sex, your penis size will never be an issue. If you need an analogy, think of how women feel about other women with big breasts. They feel insecure about their bodies just like men with below average penis sizes, but in the end, sex skills are more important than size.

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4. Female Orgasm Tip #6 – Clitoral Circles
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Why Circles?

The clitoris is extremely sensitive – which is a good thing. But it can pose a problem if you’re angled the wrong way, because too much clitoral stimulation can be painful. For example, a tongue or finger stroke upwards from the bottom of the clitoris to the top is probably one of the worst moves you can make (except if your partner is very turned on and well lubricated). This move actually lifts the clitoral hood and exposes the sensitive inner clitoris, which can become painful if your partner isn’t turned on and for some women, it’s always painful. Clitoral circles provide stimulation to the clitoris without lifting the protective clitoral hood, giving your partner a great feeling without overdoing it.

Varying Your Strokes

All you have to do is move your tongue or finger in circles around your partner’s clitoris. It’s that simple and it’s a great technique to use during oral sex. If you’re looking for a more complicated, blow-her-mind-move, all you have to do with this stroke is vary the pressure and width of your circles. Start slowly, with wider, softer circles, and graduate to firmer, smaller circles right on the clitoris. Mix it up a little in between if you feel like it! Just remember that if you’re using your hands or fingers to make sure your nails are clean and trimmed and you use a generous dab of lube. Hangnails can hurt!

Why It Will Be One Of Her Favorite Moves

The clitoral circles technique will soon become one of your partner’s favorite moves and rightly so – it’s a fantastic feeling for her and easy for you to do! She’ll love it because she’ll get stimulation everywhere on her clitoris (and her vagina too if you use wide circles in conjunction with smaller ones) including the top, bottom and sides. Many clitoral maneuvers stick to just one area or side of the clitoris, providing pleasure but only in one spot. Clitoral circles will practically envelop her in pleasure! You can also use this technique in conjunction with clitoral sucking (not too hard) and g-spot stimulation. Don’t forget to utilize our other techniques as well while you’re using Tip #6, such as paying attention and getting your partner turned on and warmed up. As we go over each tip in the female orgasm series, it’s your job to put them all together and learn how to make them work for you so you can become the master of your partner’s orgasms – and a master of the bedroom!

Think you understand Female Orgasms? Take the Orgasm Quiz and find out!

Take just a minute to check out ‘The Female Orgasm Black Book’: “How To Give Her Mind Numbing, Leg Shaking Orgasms”

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And with masturbation – especially female masturbation (yes, it does happen) – being somewhat taboo in society today, a woman interested in pleasuring herself may have few options. Many women choose to masturbate with vibrators or dildos, and share their sex toys with their partners. Where can you get vibrators or dildos?

But if it’s your first time, what do you start with? What is the right vibrator for you?

If you’ve been curious about vibrators, particularly about buying your first one, this is just the video for you. We’ll walk you through 5 simple steps for choosing the perfect vibrator for you. It’s easier than you’re thinking right now!

How You’re Going To Use Your Vibrator

The first step is to decide how you’re going to use a prospective sex toy. Do you want to use it by yourself? Do you want to use it with a partner, or both? Do you need a vibrator with tittillating action, or will a non-vibrating, standard dildo do for you? Do you want something just to massage your clitoris, or would you like to use it for insertion? Do you want a toy that does double – both massaging your clitoris and inserting and stimulating your g-spot at the same time? Deciding what the most important aspects of owning a vibrator are for you is a crucial first step in finding the right vibrator for you.

What Material Do You Want Your Sex Toy Made Out Of?

There are several different types of sex toy materials available on the market today – for example, one of the newer materials is called Cyberskin and is soft and squishy, with a very real skin-like sensation. This is a great material for a penis-shaped dildo, making it more realistic. You can also buy plastic, silicone or steel vibrators, or go with softer silicone or even glass dildos or vibrators. Check out a sex toy website that will allow you to browse different materials available so you can find out what type of material intrigues you the most.

What Size And Shape Should Your Sex Toy Be?

Size and shape are very important when it comes to finding the perfect sex toy or dildo for yourself. Vibrators and dildos come in a complete variety of shapes and sizes. Do you want something small and discreet that will fit in your handbag? Or would you like a very large, very wide dildo that will bring you to the brink of the kind of pleasure you can withstand? Do you want something medium sized that will get the job done? Think about what you’re most comfortable with sexually so you can find the right size for you – it’s not a one size fits all sort of deal.

Your Vibrator’s Power Source

If you’ve decided to go with a vibrator and not a standard, non-vibrating dildo, you can run into the issues of recharging your vibrator or switching batteries. Both are good ways to charge your vibrator but both have their disadvantages. Running out of batteries (and often not having any more on hand) in the heat of the moment can be a huge disappointment, while having a cordless, rechargable vibrator can be quite expensive. Think about how convenient you want your vibrator to be by determining how often you think you’re going to use it.

You Get What You Pay For

If this is your first time vibrator or dildo, you might not be prepared to spend a hundred dollars or more on the hottest, most realistic vibrator on the market today. But you certainly are going to get what you pay for. That doesn’t mean there isn’t middle ground. Look for a dildo or vibrator that is in your price range, but the cheaper you go, the less features and power your new vibrator is going to have. You don’t have to spend a fortune, but for a good vibrator or dildo, you’re going to spend more than five bucks.

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Why it’s Worth it to Pay Attention to the Clit

For men, the answer to the question about which part of the body can be considered as their most erogenous zone, the answer is easy: the penis. All the sexual sensations are concentrated to that area below the hips and above the legs. In the area of oral sex, as long as a woman agrees to go down on you, you’re bound to experience an orgasm no matter how long or short a time she’s willing to spend on giving you some oral love.

For women, however, the answer is a bit more complicated. First, when it comes to her erogenous zones, there are her breasts and her vagina that you can focus on. Second, the vagina, unlike the penis, can be considered as an unchartered territory for most men. This is because the vagina is composed of different parts: the inner and outer labia or lips, the clitoris, and the G-spot which is located about a couple of inches inside the vaginal opening.

But one thing’s for sure: if you want to give that special woman in your life an orgasm that she’s not bound to forget anytime soon, you can go for either the clitoris or the G-spot. Here, let us try to focus on learning about the clitoris.

The Top 3 Things that Men should Know about the Clitoris

Take a look at the top three things that men should know about the clitoris:

1. The ‘anatomy’ of a clitoris

Simply put, the clitoris is that tiny bud located just above the opening of her vagina, right at the top of her inner labia. Experts say that this is the only human organ which is solely dedicated for sexual pleasure. So just imagine just how mind blowing her orgasm will be if you target this spot.

The clitoris is as packed with sensitive nerve endings as the head of your penis and it becomes engorged when a woman is aroused. Don’t go heading immediately after her clit when you have sex, however. The clitoris can be extremely sensitive so she needs to be prepared to take it in, so to speak.

Another crucial information about the clitoris that every man should know about is this: most women do require clitoral stimulation – whether it’s orally or though penetration – in order to achieve an orgasm.

So if you seriously want to improve your skills as a lover, now is as good a time as any to learn everything that there is to know about the anatomy of a clitoris.

2. How to play with the clitoris

Before heading down south, remember that women need more than physical stimulation to be totally into the sexual act. Turn her on by using flirting glances, compliment her with your words and most importantly – never skip the foreplay. If you manage to get her as aroused as she can be before her clothes come off, the more intense things will be later on.

Now, there are two ways for you to stimulate her clitoris. You can either use your tongue and mouth, or your fingers. When deciding to use the latter, start by caressing her legs while working your way towards her inner thighs. Then, touch her outer vaginal lips before making contact with the area just above her clitoris, since direct stimulation might be painful for her.

The second method, you are probably already familiar with: cunnilingus. Using your mouth and your tongue, you can bring her to a mind blowing orgasm by eating her out. Enough said.

3. How to bring sexual fulfillment through clitoral stimulation

At the end of the day, it all boils down to the fact that vaginal intercourse alone is about as exciting for a woman as a bumpy ride on a beat up car. If you want to take her to new sexual heights, never take the clit for granted. Try to communicate or learn her body language so that you’ll know when to go faster or harder, when to stop or not stop.

Through clitoral stimulation, you will be able to send that special woman in your life to greater sexual heights and give her the best ‘ride’ of her life.

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This article should make sex a real no-brainer for you from here on thanks to these ten things that women admit to wanting even if they don’t necessarily admit it to you!

Before Sex She Wants You To…

1. Kiss Her

It seems that kissing has become a bit of a lost art in this day and age and this is especially the case when a couple has been together for a long time. Spend a few minutes just kissing (a.k.a. making out) the way you did when you were a teenager. You’d be surprised at how hot kissing can really be!

2. Indulge in Some Foreplay

Women need a little more than guys do in order to get really turned in and primed for action. By treating them to more foreplay, not only do you increase their chances of an orgasm, but you’re also setting yourself up for some very hot sex to follow!

3. Be Romantic

This should come as no shocker to anyone as it has been a problem since the beginning of man! While women enjoy a hard sexy throw down on occasion, they still want to be pampered and romanced a little.

Take some time to light a candle or two or just say something romantic. It doesn’t take a bed sprinkled with rose petals to make a woman happy-though that would be great too.

During  Sex She Wants You To…

4. Look Into Her Eyes

You can’t even begin to imagine how incredibly arousing it can be to keep your eyes focused on each other during sex.

It creates an intimacy like nothing else which most women crave from their partners and it can really help you get in tune with each other so you’re better able to know what feels good to them and what could use a little work; all without having to say a word.

5. Be A Little Rough

Yes, women want romance and tenderness, but most often before sex. During sex a woman wants to feel the passion and the urgency that comes from being wanted and desired.

Men are often afraid to be too rough, but the truth is that many women want to be handled a little harder during sex. Note: Tip #5 is a great one to help gauge just how rough you should be with her.

6. Not Forget Her Clitoris

The clitoris is the female equivalent of the penis, meaning that it is full of pleasure-feeling nerve endings that need to be stimulated to achieve orgasm.  Most often a man will be so wrapped up in all the thrusting that he will neglect the most sensual part of her body. Spend some time on the clitoris and you’ll make her one happy camper!

After Sex She Wants You To…

7. Cuddle

Big surprise; a woman wants to be held a little after sex as opposed to having you roll over and fall asleep like she’s not even there. Put your arms around her, let her rest her head on you and try to stay awake for the next tip.

8. Say Something

Again, this one should come as no surprise. This is because women tend to feel more vulnerable after sex and by taking the time to listen and talk to her; you are making her feel more at ease and special.

9. Be Tender

Once the passionate, raw sex is done and over with, it’s time to treat her like a delicate little lady again.

And Finally…

10. Have sex with her again!

That’s right; while most men need to rest and regroup after they climax, women are usually good to go again rather quickly and would appreciate another round!

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5. 10 Things You DIDN’T Know About SEX!

Another reason is what makes many relationships, sexual and otherwise, fail: the expectation that men can read a woman’s mind and automatically know what she wants in bed!

It is possible for men to discover what works best for you.  But this takes a special kind of man who have dedicated himself to becoming a fantastic lover.

However, not all women have the luxury of being with a man who is skilled in bed.

To experience better sex, you should know what turns you on and love yourself enough to take compliments as they are provided. Here are a few tips to keep in mind:

Clear Your Mind

If you’re self-conscious about something, your mind will be consumed by this and so you can’t focus on sexual pleasure. So better get rid of what’s bothering you even before you engage in sex.

For example, if you’re always insecure of how you smell ‘down there’ then make sure you always shower before engaging in sex. If you’re afraid you might accidentally pee while your G-spot is being stimulated, then go have a bathroom break before making love.

Know What Turns You ON

How can you guide him into what brings you pleasure if you yourself don’t know what does?

Some women have a hard time figuring out what turns them on.  Compare this to men; for the most part, it’s very easy to figure what what turns a man on.

This can actually be a fun time for you.  To know what turns you on, try renting some porn videos and see how you react to what you see. Buy some dirty magazines, romance novels and maybe even some sex toys.

You’ll have to do a bit of self exploration on this one because unlike men, what turns women on is a bit less ‘clear cut’. Once you know what turns you on, experiment with him in bed!

Understand That Men Are Not Mind Readers

Get this straight: Men are NOT mind readers. They cannot instinctively know what brings you the most pleasure. Communicating what is working for you (and making sure that he keeps on doing it) can speed things up towards your female orgasm.

So if you already know what turns you on, don’t be afraid to tell him how best to pleasure you.

Be Specific

For example, if he’s eating you out, tell him exactly how you like to be licked and where.

Communication is key to maximizing your pleasure in bed.  The more you know about yourself, and the more you communicate with him, the more pleasure you’ll have.  The best part is, you’ll enhance the bond you already have with him by making intimate communication a regular activity in bed.

If You Can Orgasm By Yourself, You Can Orgasm During Sex

Take control of your own orgasm and don’t be so dependant on him to “give” it to you.  You can guide him to help you climax during sex, but the quickest way to reach an orgasm (if he’s not sexually skilled) is to help yourself.  There’s nothing wrong with it, and trust me, both parties will be happier in the end.

You can apply clitoral stimulation during intercourse, however, not all sex positions are great for self-stimulation.  There are a few good positions, like the woman-on-top position that lends itself well to clitoral stimulation.

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This can come as even more of a shock if a woman has previously enjoyed G-spot or vaginal orgasms and great sex, because the loss of sensitivity may create some feelings of inadequacy. What can a woman that has lost vaginal sensitivity do?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I was married for 11 1/2 years and the sex was good. Then I divorced and remarried. While my husband (now) and I were dating our sex was AMAZING!!! I never knew a woman could have an orgasm like that. I would drench him and the sheets by just having regular sex with no stimulation of the clitoris.

We’ve been married for 2 years now and for the last year I am not able to be stimulated inside anymore. I feel his penis in me but it doesn’t get stimulated. I asked my doctor and he just says to stimulate my clitoris, well I don’t want to have to do that all the time. I want to feel the stimulate my vagina again.

Why has this happened? What went wrong? Please help.

- Michael, Florida

Realize that it may be age or frequent sex that has caused the loss of muscle tone.

Both age and frequent sex cause the loss of muscle tone. It’s something that happens naturally, so if you find yourself in a situation where sex isn’t as great as it once was, age and sex may be the culprits. The loss of vaginal muscle tone also happens after a woman gives birth vaginally. That said, however, you certainly aren’t out of luck when it comes to this situation.

You can increase vaginal muscle tone by doing Kegel exercises. Kegel exercises work to improve the strength of the pelvic floor muscles, which are responsible for holding in urine among other things. You can do Kegel repetitions by simply squeezing your vaginal muscles as though you were going to stop a stream of urine before you had completely finished. No one’s going to know you’re doing it, so feel free to sneak in a few Kegels at your desk or in line for lunch! Regular Kegel exercises will improve vaginal muscle tone, making it easier for you to climax vaginally without any external clitoral stimulation.

Seek a sex therapist.

You may have visited your doctor, thinking something was wrong with the machinery down there. This is most likely not the case, although mentioning the situation at your yearly visit to your doctor won’t hurt anything and it’s always nice to get a professional medical opinion about an issue that you’re having. Sex therapists, however, have more to offer in that department so you might want to seek one out to help you with your vaginal sensitivity loss. They’ll have plenty of tips, tricks and things you and your partner can try to get your sex lives up and running again!

Work with different positions.

Nothing stays the same all the time, especially sex. Even if it’s with the same person, sex can change. You can get into a routine where you’re comfortable with sex and nothing out of the ordinary happens. Comfort sex is great, but it can be frustrating when you’re looking to get those mind blowing orgasms back.

Don’t be afraid to try new things and try new positions and realize that the same position that gave you that great orgasm a few months ago might not work now. That’s okay and that’s one of the great things about sex – it always keeps you on your toes, looking for new things to do and new ways to achieve good orgasms and please your partner!

The loss of vaginal sensitivity that many women experience is a mixture of many different factors. It never hurts to get a medical opinion, but if you’ve tried several different sexual positions and nothing is working for you, see a sex therapist. If after a few months of trying to get back into your groove it still isn’t happening, relax. Find a new and different way to enjoy yourself and just go with the flow!

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