The friend zone is not a place that you ever want to find yourself when you are interested in a woman. This aspect of dating can easily change you from a potential date to a person that gets the occasional hello.

Avoiding the dreaded friend zone is essential to keeping the spark alive in your budding relationships. If a lady only wants to be your acquaintance, then you need to cut her loose. However, there are ways that you can keep yourself from falling into this familiar path in the future. Here are some dating tips to help you stay out of the hated friend zone in the future.

Accept The Fact That She Is Not Interested

There are women out there that will never be interested in pursuing a relationship with you. Accept the fact that she is not interested. While this is not something that any guy wants to do, it’s a one of the best dating tips out there for finding a woman that is interested in having a relationship with you.

If you are clinging to a woman who has put you in a friend zone, you are wasting your time trying to woo her back. This is one aspect of life where being a quitter actually has its advantages. Nip it in the bud before you start begging and pleading for another chance.

Work On Yourself

Do you work out? Do you eat healthy? One of the best ways to gain confidence is to improve yourself before you try to date somebody. If you meet a lady that you like and you really want to impress her, give yourself a couple of weeks to improve various aspects of your life before you pursue her.

Two weeks can do a lot to somebody’s physique and eating healthier can give you the energy that you want throughout the day. Having more energy will show through your personality and the way that you carry yourself. Feeling good about yourself is an attractive quality for women, so act accordingly.

Meet New People

Getting stuck in a friend zone can occur when somebody knows you all too well. If you have been chummy with a lady for a long time, she might not think of you as a potential date. There is a reason that a staple of the most common dating tips is to meet new people. Meeting new people is exciting and allows you to play off of your own mystique.

Going out and meeting newer women will get you out of the friend zone and put into the hot seat of being a potential long term relationship. If you know the woman you like really well, this could also make her very jealous. While you should not do this with mal-intent, it is an effective means of getting her to think about you as a date instead of a “bud.”

Learn To Flirt

Some guys think that flirting is something that you’re born with, while others think that it can be learned through certain dating tips. The friend zone is dependent on being able to flirt. Teasing her a little bit about things that don’t matter is a great way to flirt with her.

Don’t tell her that her eyes are too far apart, but picking up on something little could get her laughing. Start small and work your way up to making more sexualized comments. Once you have achieved this properly, she should be looking at you in a whole new light. Be bold with her and you will never end up as an acquaintance again.

Slight Touches

Slight touches can be a great way to emphasize that you are not looking for a platonic relationship. Touching her arm as you laugh with her or putting your hand on the small of her back as she goes through a door are some of the best ways to show that you are sexually interested.

If she does not respond to these methods or responds negatively, back off immediately. The last thing that you want to do is make her uncomfortable. If she touches you back then you’re in the clear. Women do not touch guys that they don’t want to date.

Being in the friend zone can be one of the most frustrating aspects of dating. Getting out of it is tough and some methods work better than others. Turning yourself from a platonic relationship into a date is not always easy, but it is possible in most situations. Follow these guidelines and you should start to see a vast improvement of her perception of you.

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What Is The “Jerk Paradox?”

Have you ever known a hot girl – maybe you had a crush on her – but she was dating a guy who was a complete ass?

Maybe you felt like she’d be better off you – you would have treated her like a queen – but she stuck with the mean guy no matter what he did to her?

I think we’ve all seen this happen – a lot.

We’ve all seen a beautiful girl who is CRAZY over a man jerk who don’t pay her much attention.

Heck, I’ve even seen beautiful girls who could have their choice of great guys stick with dudes who were downright ABUSIVE! I used to say, “why isn’t that girl with a fella like me? Or ANY other man for that matter?”

It just didn’t make sense.

But then finally, I realized what was going on.

Why Mean Men Get The Girls While Nice Ones Finish Last

Have you heard the famous Chris Rock comedy bit about guys “offering d*ck”?

It’s REALLY funny. Basically what Chris points out is that every woman in the world, since she was 13 years old, has had pretty much man she’s ever met offering her sex!

He goes on to say how every time a guy talks to a girl, he is really just trying to get into her pants.

“Can I get that for ya” translates into “How ’bout some d*ck?”

“Can I help you with that?” translates into “Can I help you with some d*ck?”

Too funny! And let me tell you, this is truer than all the dating tips in the world!

Every woman you know – especially if she’s attractive – has men THROWING THEMSELVES at her 10 times a day!

So if you approach a woman in the WRONG WAY – which is any way that DOESN’T make her work for it – she automatically throws you in the same category as every other wimp she has met, and she automatically forgets about dating you.

Why Cocky Men Never Have This Problem

The thing about guys who are mean is that they NATURALLY approach, talk to, and deal with women in a way that is TOTALLY DIFFERENT than the dozens of other guys trying to get into her pants.

It’s very subtle. You actually might not even see the difference unless it was pointed out to you, but the RESULT is very different.

It’s different because it sparks a woman’s curiosity, then creates a subtle challenge that makes her feel like she has to WORK for his attention, not the other way around.

This type of challenge is very addicting to a woman. Women LOVE games and solving puzzles – it’s the reason they read all of those mystery novels – so when they meet a guy who is a challenge they just cant get enough of him.

How To Get These Same Smoking Hot Women - Without Being An Ass!

If you can make a woman feel like she has to WORK FOR IT, it gets her chasing you. She starts to see YOU as the “catch” and gets very excited about the possibility of being with you.

It’s this simple little thing that separates the guys who get the 10′s from the guys who don’t.

It NOTHING to do with being full of yourself and being mean to women. And EVERYTHING to do with being a CHALLENGE.

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Experienced guys don’t view strip clubs through the eyes of the average chump customer. They see target-rich environments filled with sexy, available women. They’re also a great place to hone your skills and become comfortable flirting with 9’s and 10’s in other settings.

Sure, the girls are looking to get your money. It’s their job. This is why you’ve got to flip the script, cause them to stop perceiving you as a customer, and make them play YOUR game instead of playing theirs.

Put the these great tactics to work, and you can build connections, collect phone numbers, and set up dates just as you would at a bar.

1. Have A Bulletproof Mindset

Know you’re way more interesting and confident than 99% of the customers who come to this place. A stripper will spend most of their shift having tedious conversations with lame, unattractive men. Once you’ve demonstrated otherwise, she’ll be pleasantly surprised to meet you.

2. Have Confidence!

When you enter the club, have confidence and walk around with your head held high, like you own the place. Never lurk or mill around as if you’re unsure of where to sit. Find a seat and settle in and relax!

3. Make Her Sit BESIDE You

When a hot stripper approaches you, don’t let her sit on your lap. Make her sit beside you. (“Whoa, easy there. Have a seat next to me until we get to know each other a little better.”)

Also, don’t agree if she immediately offers a striptease. Instead, engage her in conversation and control the flow.

4. Maintain Eye Contact

Keep your eyes off of her body and maintain eye contact. Never comment on how good she looks; if anything, call her “cute.” (“Wow. Not only are you the cutest girl here, but you can actually hold an intelligent conversation.”)

5. Break Out Of Her Routine

Dancers, like salesmen, have canned routines that they use to make customers feel comfortable and ready to spend money. When she asks you your name, or where you’re from, ignore it. Go into your OWN routine.

6. Be Respectful Of Her Profession

Never refer to it as “stripping”; the term to use for her is “dancer.” Say (or imply) that you’ve dated dancers before and demonstrate familiarity with her profession. “It’s too bad I swore off dating dancers, because I can tell you and I would get along. I get the sense there’s a lot more to you than meets the eye.”

7. Befriend The Staff

Bouncers, coat check, bus boys, DJ’s, managers, owner, etc. When you visit, staff members should know and greet you. This gives you high social value in the eyes of the dancers; you’re not a typical customer.

Befriending a male staff member is easy: say, “Dude, you’re the envy of every guy—hanging out in a club full of beautiful, half-naked women and getting paid for it. You make me want to consider a career change. By the way, my name’s ______.”

(Sometimes I’ll buy a bottle of water or a Red Bull, and bring it outside and hand it to a doorman. I’ll say, “hey man, I figured you could use a drink out here. I’m not getting good cell phone reception inside, I need to check my messages.” I’ll check my messages real quick, then introduce myself to the doorman—who is always very appreciative of the drink—and get him on my side.)

8. Don’t Forget She’s There To Make Money

Go on slow nights (i.e. a weeknight) when there aren’t a lot of customers vying for her attention. After you’ve been chatting for a little while, it’s okay to buy a dance from her—but a minute or two into the song, tell her she can sit back down, and resume the conversation. (Again, always behave like a non-customer.)

9. Use Good Conversation Lines

During the conversation, apply the same techniques you would use on women in a bar. Ask her questions that prompt her to reveal quirky things about herself. Use hypotheticals, i.e., “If you could teleport right now to anywhere in the world, where would you go?”

Here’s another good one: “Tell me something about yourself that the customers in here would never suspect.”

10. Don’t Expect To Go Home With Her Right Away

It might take a couple of visits for you to “close” the dancer you like (getting her number, or meeting her after her shift). If you’re not buying dances and she has to go, encourage her to go make money. (“I’ve got some business to go handle, and I can see there a lot of lonely guys in here who’d love to pay for your company. I need to bounce, it was awesome to meet you.”)

Make your exit and return in the near future to continue building your connection with her. If after several chat sessions she’ll still giving you the “run around” and has excuses why she can’t hang out with you outside of the club, or she won’t even give up her phone number, be a man about it. Tell her, no problem, you understand, and the next time you return to the strip club you should select another girl to mack on.

If your original target gives you dirty looks while you’re macking on her co-worker, don’t even let it faze you. She missed her chance to get on board your train and take the ride of her life.

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Deflection Tactics

First of all, keep in mind that when a stripper approaches you, she’s asking permission to enter your space. You are the boss, essentially. When she starts going into her “sales routine” to try to get you to buy a striptease, don’t do anything to empower the part of her that is trying to seduce you or sell you. In other words, don’t play along with her game. Make her play yours.

Let her speak first. Then deflect whatever she says and change the subject. Take control of the interaction.

Another “deflection” tactic: Look at her, smile, and say “I don’t want to be rude, honey, but you’ve got something on your nose (rub your nostril). She’ll instantly get self-conscious and wipe her nose.

This is effective for “disarming” her and breaking her out of her sales routine. Tell her to sit down with you, then grab a napkin and gently wipe her nose (which doesn’t actually have anything on it). Now go into leading the conversation.

What To Do When A Stripper You Like Heads Your Way

When a stripper you like approaches you, don’t let her plant herself on your lap. Make her sit beside you. If she tries to sit on your lap, say, “Whoa, I’m not that easy! Have a seat, until we get to know each other a little better.”

If she offers a lap dance right then, you never want to say “yes,” because then you’re framing yourself as a typical chump customer.

But you don’t want to say “no” either, because then she’ll feel rejected—or she’ll figure you’re a cheapskate who wants to try to hit on her without having to open your wallet.

Do NOT offer to buy her a drink at this time. (Remember, you’re going to make her feel that she earned it.) You want her to sit next to you so that you can engage her in conversation and control the flow.

Deflect, and get her to sit down next to you. I might say, “Have a seat, I’m sure your feet are killing you in those heels. The craziest thing just happened, you’ve got to hear this….”

(A good “story” to tell: say that two of the dancers just got into a catfight outside the bathroom! Screaming, hair-pulling, hissing…it was wild!)

How To Take Control Of The Conversation

Once she’s sitting next to you, you’ve got to take control of the conversation, because otherwise she’ll go into her “routine.” Strippers, like computers, operate according to a program. She basically uses this same flirting routine, or program, with every customer.

If you don’t control the conversation, she’ll start asking you the standard questions (“So how are you feeling tonight,” “What’s your name,” “Is this your first time here,” etc.), in an attempt to build a connection with you and butter you up for a dance.

NOTE: The length of time she waits before asking me for a dance is an indicator of how skilled and experienced she is at her job. Essentially, strippers are saleswomen. The product they’re selling is themselves.

The real pros won’t hit you up for a dance too soon, and they won’t directly ask you “Wanna dance?” They’re craftier about it. They’ll take some time to butter you up and flirt with you. Once she has created the sense that there is a “connection” between the two of you, that’s when the skilled stripper will close the deal and get you to buy a dance. She might say, “Do you mind if I dance for you?” or, “I love this song! Can I dance for you?”

Put it this way – when you walk onto a car lot, no good salesman is going to walk straight up to you and try to sell you an expensive vehicle. He’s going to spend some time talking to you and feeling you out. He won’t go for the “close” until he knows he’s got you very interested in a particular vehicle.

Your goal is to disrupt her from her routine before she has a chance to go into it. “Short circuit” her program, and you’ll force her to engage in a real conversation. The most effective way to do this is to start talking about a completely unrelated subject. Remember, you’re making her step into your world, instead of taking the bait and stepping into hers.

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Why Confidence Is So Important

Confidence is one of the most important aspects of dating. Building confidence is not difficult when you know how to use your best assets. Having self-assurance can easily boost your perception in the eyes of others and can have an impact on your work life as well as your dating life.

Creating a persona of poise can turn nerve-racking first dates and approaches into attainable scenarios by giving you the tools needed to be sure that positive outcomes are possible. Here are a few easy techniques for building your confidence.

Change Up Your Wardrobe

When you look good you feel good. Changing your wardrobe is one of the best ways to boost your self-confidence. When you change your wardrobe people will take notice. Your clothes are one of the first things that people notice about you. If you are going on a date in ratty jeans and a shirt that was too tight in the 8th grade, it’s time for an update.

A suggestion that a lot of guys do not take seriously is the consultation of a stylist. Stylists know what women like and they know the trends of the fashion industry. They will also be able to tell you where to shop without breaking the bank.

Let Go Of Past Relationships

Being hurt or humiliated by an ex-girlfriend can shatter any man’s self-image. Let go of past relationships. It doesn’t matter if an ex cheated on you or said hurtful things, you have qualities that a great girl is going to admire. Let go of the past and look forward to the future.

It’s only natural to feel like you’re never going to meet another girl or that you might be alone for the rest of your life. This unreasonable hopelessness is known as “catastrophic thinking” and can render you with the inability to approach women. Let go of your past relationships and think of them as a learning experience. It’s time to move on. Thinking about the future can give you a fresh perspective on your love life.

Get Healthy & In Shape To Feel GOOD About Yourself!

If you already work out then you’re a step ahead of the rest. However, if you are not working out you need to start now. Working out is a great stress reliever and can build your confidence immeasurably. Join a gym or just start running in the afternoons.

When you start to feel like you’re never going to meet anybody or that you’re not good enough for women, working out can make these thoughts fly out of your head instantaneously. Joining a gym is also one of the best ways to start meeting a new clientele of women.

Create A List Of Qualities You Want In A Woman

Creating a list of qualities that you want in a woman will help you weed out bad dates. Just taking any old date is not recommended. Knowing that you have no interest in a girl and that you’re just taking her out to try to make yourself feel better is selfish. When you are picky about whom you go out with you will feel a lot better about yourself.

Desperation is something that a lot of guys feel after recent break ups or being alone for a long time. Clinging to a girl that you know you have no future with is a recipe for disaster. Make a list of all the qualities you want in a woman and then stick to that list. When you find a girl that has most or all of the qualities, you will feel a lot better about your choice.

Laugh!!

Laugh about past missteps with former girlfriends or dates. Laughing can easily lighten the situation and take all of the darkness out of your thinking. Don’t take your dating too seriously. If a girl turns you down, laugh about it. Any girl that turns you down just isn’t right for you. Don’t fall into the cliché of saying “her loss.”

While you might say this to build your confidence, it almost always comes back to haunt your mind. You will start thinking, “Is it really her loss? Or is it mine?” Just laugh the situation off and move on. There are a lot of women out there that you can make happy. Every misstep is a step closer to finding somebody that you can connect with on a deeper level.

Confidence is a vital part of dating. When you do not feel comfortable enough with yourself it will show through your mannerisms. Stick to these suggestions and you will start seeing results in as little as a couple of days.

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Leave Roses And A Note In Her Car

Grab a bouquet of roses and write a simple note with your phone number on it. Plainly state, “I would love to take you out for Valentine’s Day. Give me a call!” Don’t be too lovey dovey or pushy in your note, because the flowers add enough intensity to this scenario – too much and you’ll scare her off.

Also, meeting her at her car, say when she gets off work, with flowers and asking her out in person is also very sweet and acceptable. If you don’t want to get rejected in person and you think there’s a possibility of that, the note works well for that.

Send Flowers To Her Work

Flowers are an excellent way to get a lady to warm up to you, as long as they’re not too extravagant and obviously expensive. Bigger is not better here – however, taking note of her personal style and taste and selecting flowers that you genuinely believe she’ll like is. Take some time to select a nice bouquet with her favorite flowers and colors and have it delivered to her workplace.

You can put “from your secret admirer” if you like (this is almost always exciting for a woman, because in all honesty, it rarely ever happens for real) but make sure to include your phone number so she can get back to you. The great thing about sending it to work is that you’ll be making certain that all her work friends (and frienemies) see it. This will make her feel intensely special, and they’ll also put some good natured pressure on her to accept your offer.

Text Her To Meet You Somewhere Romantic

If you already have her phone number, this is an excellent way to meet her to ask her out in person. Send her a text asking her to meet you somewhere romantic – but not too romantic if you think it might scare her off. Meet at the park under your favorite tree, by a lake or river, or anywhere else nature can help you out a little.

If your local grocery store has a large Valentine’s Day section – may of them inflate balloons and let them float up to the ceiling, creating an entire section of surreal pink and red floating ribbon – you can meet there (this really only works if the atmosphere is super appealing).

In A Scavenger Hunt

Send your potential date on a scavenger hunt, with lots of little notes that lead either to another note with a big reveal or you, holding flowers. Make sure the “gold at the end of the rainbow” is fun and exciting enough to have made it worth the hunt. Just use your creativity for this one!

Use the notes to write fun clues as to where to find the next clues. With each note, include something small, like a rose petal (to indicate that the big reveal might include roses) or candy. When she reaches the reveal, either use a note to ask her out for Valentine’s Day, or do it in person. Again, don’t put too much pressure on her to respond. Have a card in your pocket with your phone number on it that you can pull out and say, “Think about it and call me if you’re interested” if she chokes.

Remember, if she seems uncomfortable or reluctant at all, you want to use the card. You may still get turned down, but there’s a good chance she was just nervous or didn’t know what to say or do when put on the spot like that. If you slip her your number and allow her some time to calm down and think about what happened, you give her a reprieve.

If you don’t, she is much more likely to turn you down because she felt uncomfortable. If you do, you’ll increase your chances of her calling you and letting you know that she really loved what you did, but was really nervous and shy while it was happening.

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Taking different aspects into account can easily garner you a great date with minimal effort. Here are a few tips to help you through the digital age of women’s liberation.

1. Use Facebook

Facebook is the standard for proving that you’re a great guy. One of the best dating tips out there is to get your Facebook account updated right now. Facebook is going to be a way for you to show off pictures of your family and friends so the girl knows that you’re not a creep. When you meet a girl and get her phone number, she will probably ask for your last name. This is so she can look up your profile and make sure that you’re not a hermit. There are even specific dating methods that focus on Facebook for picking up girls.

The Facebook Method talks about setting up your profile like a dating profile so if you meet a girl she will see your best attributes when she’s checking up on you. Update your Facebook account with recent pictures and remove any pictures of your ex-girlfriends. If you have pictures of yourself with other girls, make sure that you put a caption showing that she’s a friend.

2. Pay The Small Bill

Let’s say that you meet a girl and ask her out for a drink. While dating tips of the past tell guys that they should pay the entire bill, this is not recommended. Pay for a small bill and let her pay for herself if you are getting dinner. If you are meeting a girl for a drink, pay for the drink. A drink will cost you anywhere from $4-$9 dollars. Having a $12 tab collectively is not going to leave you penniless.

If you are meeting her for dinner and she insists on paying for herself, let her. As cold as it may seem, she might not want a second date, so there is not reason that you should be shelling out when she is insisting on paying for herself anyways. Women have good jobs, most of which are going to be better than your own, so let her pay. Some men think this is a power play when in reality she just wants to pull her own weight.

3. Be Chivalrous In Other Ways

Traditional dating tips focus on chivalry as a staple of all dating. Even though we live in an age of women’s liberation, they still want to feel like a lady when you take them out. Holding doors, dressing appropriately and pulling her chair out for her are seen as chivalrous acts. Make sure that you are being chivalrous with all dates. Even if you’re not interested in going on a second date, she might have some single friends. In a lot of ways, dating can be comparable to business.

Never burn a bridge just because you don’t see a future with her. Keep in touch and she might tell her friends that you’re a great guy, but there just wasn’t any chemistry. You never know. She might try to set you up based on how well you treat her throughout the date.

4. Be Actionable

Letting a girl down easy by telling her you’re going to call might seem like one the best dating tips, but it’s not recommended. If you tell a girl that you’re going to call her again, call her again. Even if you aren’t sure if there’s chemistry, call her anyway. More than likely, she will pick up on whether or not you’re interested. You don’t want to miss out on a potential relationship just because you never called her back. Dates don’t always go the way that we want.

Having a bad day can easily reflect in a first or second date. Being on the fence isn’t an excuse. Play it out until you are sure that you don’t want to be with her. Telling a girl that you’re going to call when you know that you won’t is not fair to either of you. If you really don’t have any interest in seeing her again, say something like “It was nice meeting you.” This is much easier better than “I’ll call you this week” or “See you never.

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What About The Server?

If the waitress likes you, she’ll talk you up to her stripper friends. They, in turn, will start paying more attention to YOU. This increases your chances of getting to go home with a stripper, or at the very least, you increase your chances of getting to go home with the waitress (who is probably just as hot, but not naked!)

Soon after you sit down, your cocktail server is going to come over to take your drink order. (Remember, the overpriced beverages is how these clubs make money, and you are expected to make a purchase.)

Even if you don’t want anything to drink right now, the correct move is to order something in order to establish rapport (and a little flirting!) with your cocktail waitress. It’s also important for you to order this first drink BEFORE you have a dancer come sit with you.

Yes, You Want A Drink FIRST

Otherwise, the moment a dancer sits with you, the waitress might come over and you’ll feel pressured to buy the dancer a drink as well, before it is appropriate to offer her one.

You’ll want some time to get to know the dancer of your choice before you offer her a drink. It’s the same way a suave guy plays it in a regular bar; you never offer a girl a drink immediately. You wait until you’ve been chatting with her for awhile and can spin it into an “I.O.U.”

The basic idea is that buying a girl a drink should feel like a reward you are giving her, because you’ve been enjoying her company. Never buy her a drink right off the bat because you feel obligated to do so. Don’t feel like you’re supposed to buy her a drink just because she’s sitting next to you and trying to hang out.

You’re going to make her EARN that drink – that is, if you choose to buy it and grant her more of your time. This is the correct mindset.

Ok, More About The Waitress

In a strip club, the way you interact with your cocktail waitress is important on several levels. In most clubs, you’ll have one waitress attending to you for the duration of your visit, and she’ll be stopping by periodically to check whether you need another drink.

Always make this waitress your ally. Give her a friendly smile and introduce yourself by name. Make sure you get her name, and remember it. Then pay her a quick compliment on some aspect of her appearance, something original that she’s not hearing from the other guys. Notice her smile, her hairstyle, or a piece of jewelry she’s wearing.

Chances are this type of compliment will catch her off-guard and bring a smile to her face. If your waitress isn’t attractive, this compliment can really go a long way towards making her your ally, because she rarely gets this type of flattery.

Remember, you want the server as your ally!

Just think about it. The server is working in an environment where she’s surrounded by naked women. When’s the last time a nice guy stopped to take notice of her appearance, and singled out her for praise instead of a stripper? Yeah. There you go.

While you want to know how to keep your spending to a minimum in strip clubs if you frequent them looking to hook up with a stripper, you can’t be cheap with your server. Period.

It isn’t about the size of the tip so much as it’s about the way you present it to her. You can tip just a few dollars and turn it into a special, generous gesture that she is bound to appreciate.

How EXACTLY To Get In Good With The Server

When she brings you your first drink and hands you the change, rifle through the singles, count out four or five dollars, and say “here, keep this Jackie, I’m glad you’re taking care of my service tonight.” A small gesture like this can go a long way.

Later on, when you’re sitting and chatting with the stripper you select, give your waitress another tip in the same fashion: rifle through your cash, give her a few dollars, and tell her “here, this if for you Jackie.” (Always use her name!) Your server will smile and thank you, which will make you look like way more appealing to the stripper you’re sitting with.

It’s not about the size of the tip. It’s all in how you present it. Any jerk can throw a $20 bill on her tray and dismiss her. You, on the other hand, can tip her $3 or $4 and make it feel to her like a friendly, generous gesture because you appreciate the good service.

Remember, if you’re in good with the server, you’re in good with the club and as a result, in good with whichever stripper you want to put your attention on for the evening. It’s win-win all around!

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Getting In The Door

The first person you’re going to encounter at the club is the doorman. This guy has a lot of juice and is someone you should always make an effort to be cool with. Give him a friendly greeting, look him in the eye, and shake his hand and tell him your name.

This shows respect, which goes a long way in this testosterone filled environment. The doorman sees at least a hundred faces a night, and many of them are creepy weirdos, arrogant big shots, or rude punks he’d rather forget. A cool, courteous guest is always appreciated.

Always be prepared for when you approach the front door. Make sure you and your friends have your ID’s ready and enough cash to pay the cover charge, if there is one. Your entrance should set the tone for this mission: smooth, flawless and always making a positive impression. Juggling for ID’s, or having to scrounge together cash to pay the cover, makes you look like an amateur.

Know Where To Go

Once you’re inside the club, be decisive and take action. Scope the room quickly and find the location where you want to establish your “home base.” Remember that at this moment, the dancers that aren’t with customers are checking you out and watching how you handle yourself. They’ve always got their eyes peeled for potential customers coming in the front door.

Wandering around like a lost puppy, or lurking by the entrance, says “I don’t belong here!”

The “suave” guy never looks unsure of his next move. He examines the possibilities and takes action. If you’ve got a choice between sitting at the bar or sitting at a table, always take the table: it projects the attitude that you came to have a good time and are ready to chill with some female company. You also want to have an empty seat beside you for the dancer you select to sit in.

Maintain the attitude that you’re way more interesting and appealing than 99% of the customers who come to this place. Strippers spend most of their time at work having tedious conversations with boring chumps.

Don’t Throw Money At The Dancers

Another category of men who frequent strip clubs are high rollers – the ones who throw around money to compensate for having no game. Dancers are typically turned off by high rollers. Sure, they’ll pretend to adore them and accept their generous tips, but they’re not attracted to them.

Deep down, the dancers who have brains and a good attitude—the one you’ll want to mack on—are disgusted by the way high rollers lord over the club and treat the women as disposable sex objects.

In a nutshell, you need to take the attitude that you’re surrounded by beautiful women and a bunch of various losers, loners, and guys who have money to spend but have zero skills with women.

Have Confidence And Good Body Language

When you enter the strip club, walk around with your head held high and standing tall. Imagine that you’re only there because your buddy is the owner, and he invited you to come by. Your vibe, your body language, and your behavior should never suggest that you’re just a “regular customer.”

Remember, body language and confidence is key. Act totally familiar and comfortable with the environment, and the girls will assume you must be somebody. This is one way to immediately set yourself apart from the average customer.

Don’t sit on “pervert row” (the seats in front of the stage); establish your base of operations on the perimeter of the room.

It’s alright to arrive with friends and have a drink together while you scout the talent, but you don’t want to be sitting with them when the game begins. The stripper isn’t going to feel comfortable trying to have a one-on-one interaction with you, while your buddies check her out and listen in on your conversation. When it’s time to get down to business and start talking with these women, you should split up from your friends and sit alone.

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If you have recently become a young professional male, you probably need some dating tips to help you transition from college dating. College dating is all about doing things on the cheap. When you’re a young professional male dating is no longer a couple of MGD’s in a field.

You are expected to class things up a little bit. Getting a crash course in dating tips for a young professional male will keep you from looking ridiculous when you ask out a girl that has a decent job. This can also help you look professional when out and about. Here are some dating tips for young professional males.

1. Pay Attention To Your Wardrobe

One of the best dating tips you can get is to make an immediate change to your wardrobe. Your wardrobe is going to be a dead giveaway of either having a good job or being a bum. You don’t have to put on your Sunday’s best when you’re doing yard work, but having nicer clothing will separate you from the rest of the guys vying for her attention. Don’t think that you have to wear Brooks Brothers to look good. Shopping at a retail outlet can easily save you some money on your wardrobe. The hierarchy should be nice shirts, decent pants and really nice shoes.

2. Keep In Mind Your Profession Doesn’t Define You

Congratulations! You made it through college and now you have a job. Yes, your job is important to you, but that doesn’t mean that you have to talk about it all the time. A job is something that can say a lot about you, but it doesn’t define you. When you are first starting out in the job market you probably will not be a VP of marketing.

If you do get an amazing job right out of college then you’re above the rest. But just because you have a good job doesn’t mean that the girl is going to be impressed. Successful guys approach beautiful women all the time. You need to separate yourself from the self-involved guys that always approach women by appealing to them on a real level. Don’t make your job the topic of every conversation.

3. Be Current

As a young professional male, one of the best dating tips to consider is brushing up on your current events. Current events are one of the best ways to easily have conversations with women. When you are in the know about current events, TV shows, movies and other aspects of popular culture and news you show that you’re interested in the world. Women don’t want a guy that is living in his own world. Make it a point to stay current with the various aspects of the news to alleviate any awkward silences during a date.

4. Leave The Frat House Behind

As mentioned before, you’re not in college anymore. You’re a young professional male and it’s time that you act like one. As far as dating tips go, being what you are instead of playing the part is one of the best tips to give. No more blackout drinking, staying out until all hours of the night or living in a pig pen. Ditch all of your old habits and start being a young professional man. This means going to bed at a reasonable hour, abstaining from alcohol regularly and keeping a professional attitude in all aspects of your life.

5. Be Active

It’s all too easy to work a 40-hour week and then just come home to lie around on the couch. Women don’t want a guy that doesn’t have hobbies. Find a couple of activities that you like doing and keep up with them.

Get into a routine of daily trips to the gym or weekly movies with your friends. When you have a hobby it’s much easier to get a potential date involved. This is one of the best dating tips for young guys because it leads to common interests and teaching the girl a new skill. This will also keep you from being clingy and needy.

6. Don’t Be The Bank

You have a great job, but that doesn’t mean that you’re her personal ATM. Paying on the first date is pretty customary. If she insists on paying for herself then let her, but if she lets you pay for her then go ahead and pay for the meal. You’ve got a new job and it’s probably the first time in your life that you have disposable income. Treat her to dinner or drinks and don’t make a big deal out of it. However, the last thing that you want to do is be her bank.

This is one of the many dating tips that are universal to all aspects of the dating world, but especially true for young professionals. Your money is your money. How you choose to spend it is your choice. If you want to make a good impression buy her dinner, but don’t make it an expectation on her part.

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Dream girl. Those are the words on every guys lips (or other parts). There are as many different definitions of what a dream girl is as there are stars in the sky. We all want one, even though we all define it differently. You’ll need a few dating tips to make the search easier, more fun and more importantly to prevent burnout and frustration.

Becoming A Guy Who Gets The Girl

What’s the ultimate dating tip weapon for guys out there? It’s simple, not easy. If you want to get the dream girl, you have to become a dream guy. You need to be the guy girls want to be with. Think about it. If you want a girl who is a “ten” that’s fine. But why should she choose you? She can have anyone or anything she wants. Men and women are literally throwing themselves at this woman on a daily basis (sometimes more than once a day). If you want a woman who can stop traffic with her looks, you’d better be the guy who can stop traffic.

Be confident and funny. You may have heard this before, but we will say it again: life is short (if you do it right), so have fun. Enjoy your own life or she won’t. Yes, it’s true: sports cars don’t hurt, but you don’t need them. A girl who’s with you because of your money or car is someone you don’t want. That means you want a girl who will love you for you, because if a golddigger finds someone with more money or a better car, she’ll be off like a prom dress. So make your dream girl an offer she can’t refuse. Make your world amazing and fun and exciting. She won’t want to be with anyone else, even if they do have more money or a better car.

Have A Fun, Radiant Personality

How do you create that? Well, it’s funny you should ask. You should have a have radiant personality. So many get caught up or hung up on what to say or do. They can’t think of anything so they freeze or miss opportunities. Here’s the thing: it doesn’t matter. Nobody cares what you say or do. People remember how you make them feel. It may be hard to believe, but it’s really true. It doesn’t matter what you say or do.

Make sure to have fun. Everywhere. Women are different creatures than men. Girls are addicted to guys who make them feel good. So above all, make sure to have fun at all times, whenever possible. Because when you do, you’ll find yourself meeting women everywhere, and it will be effortless. Why? Because beautiful women are everywhere and all the world is your oyster. You don’t have to go to bars or any other specific place to meet women, though we’re not saying you can’t go there. When you’re having fun everywhere, you’ll be attracting women anywhere.

Have A Sense Of Humor

Don’t take anything too seriously. You know what? Meeting your dream girl isn’t driving the space shuttle. And if you are piloting the shuttle? That’s odd. Shouldn’t you be paying attention to what you’re doing? How are you accessing the internet in the space shuttle? Those computers are like thirty years old! Why are you even piloting it? It’s been decommissioned!

Anyway, the point is this isn’t that dating is big a deal. Yes, dating tips are important to finding and keeping your dream girl, but lighten up. It’s not that serious. Make a game of it or if you don’t it’s going to feel like work. Then you’ll be forcing it and it will get even worse. Get rid of anyone or anything that doesn’t serve you. Take the pressure off yourself. Eliminate excuses and take action.

That alone will set you apart. Think about it. How many people who are overweight and say they’re going to lose weight actually do it? There you go. IF you can lose the weight metaphorically speaking, you will set yourself apart. Just do something. Get in the game grasshopper!

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1. Dressing Like A Chump

When it comes to budgeting money on the stuff that entertains them, most guys have their priorities all backwards. Nothing on earth is more entertaining than having sex with beautiful women (in my opinion, at least) and yet they aren’t willing to invest money in themselves in order to achieve this goal.

I know guys who haven’t changed their style since high school or college. They’re wearing the same Levi’s jeans, the same type of sneakers, and the same tee-shirts they’ve worn for years. They complain about their lack of sex, but when I tell them they need to go spend some money to update their wardrobe, they bitch and moan about how they “can’t afford it right now.”

Yet these same guys are blowing hundreds of dollars a month on porn, video games, Starbucks coffee, going out and buying drinks for chicks who aren’t sleeping with them, and so on.

If you’re serious about attracting strippers (and hot women in general), then you need to do what is necessary to make sure your “look” is on point. Clothes are essential for your image—and it does wonders for your confidence when you go out wearing new clothes and feeling sharp.

2. Being Phased By Her Beauty

A lot of newbies lose their cool with strippers because they’re not used to “gaming” chicks who are this hot and sexual. The best cure for this is experience: once you’ve banged a few strippers and seen them in the morning, hungover and without makeup, you’ll realize they’re only human. Until then, follow these guidelines:

• Never compliment a hot chick on her beauty. Instead, downplay her looks (the word “cute” is one way to do this) and use it to start a conversation about her other qualities—the ones that her customers are never going to appreciate because they’re too busy staring at her tits and ass.

Hot women are tired of guys only judging them on their looks and never noticing their other good qualities. This is especially true with strippers.

You’ll never get anywhere complimenting a girl on her looks when she already knows she’s beautiful. But when you compliment her on her sense of humor, or her knowledge, or the fact that she’s ambitious – now you’re connecting with her on a deeper level.

3. Blowing Your Body Language

This is another mistake guys make in strip clubs. When I’m trying to have sex with dancers I force myself to be aware of everything that my body is doing. My goal is to communicate comfort and confidence at all times. Also be aware of your tone of voice, and how you speak.

A deep voice indicates masculinity—so if you’ve got a naturally high-pitched voice, bring it down a couple of notches. And speak a bit slower than you normally do. Men who are important are not in a hurry to blurt out what’s on their mind. People listen to them and wait for them to speak, because what they say matters.

4. Insulting Her Profession

Some guys make the mistake of trying to “neg” strippers by knocking their profession, as if this conveys confidence or coolness. Well, this is probably the fastest way to get blown off without mentioning that you’ve got a rash on your penis. Don’t knock her job. Refer to her respectfully as a dancer, not a stripper. Refer to the venue as a “gentleman’s club” (sounds classy, doesn’t it?) Like I said before, the goal is to show her that you know how this game works—and that you respect her hustle when she’s dealing with customers. This doesn’t apply to you.

5. Playing Along With Her Routine

Dancers have routines, just as PUA’s (Pick Up Artists) have pick up lines they use on women. The difference is, the end goal of a dancer’s routine isn’t to have sex with you; it’s to get your money. You need to break her out of this mode and get her into regular chat mode.

One of the keys to doing this is avoiding answering her questions (“What’s your name?” “where are you from?” etc). These questions are part of her sales routine—designed to fool you into thinking she’s interested in you, not your money. The typical customer will answer these questions in an attempt to impress the girl, or to try find things he has in common with her.

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Flirting with a shy guy can be intimidating, but shy guys normally make the best boyfriends. Shy guys are usually caring, quiet, intelligent and funny. If you have your eye on a shy guy and you want to bring him out of his shell, there are a few things that you can do to accomplish the task at hand. Shy guys can be intimidating because you will need to guide the conversation. Once they feel comfortable with you they will open up and you can see the type of person they really are. Here is a short guide on how to flirt with shy guys.

Approach Him

Shy guys are not going to approach you. He might try to start a conversation if you have mutual friends, but in general you are going to have to approach him. If you’re not comfortable with approaching guys then you need to be the one that comes out of your comfort zone. Shy guys are usually shy for a reason, so don’t be too aggressive when you approach him. Start off with an easy conversation to break the ice.

Make Him Feel Comfortable

Chances are that the shy guy is not going to be comfortable with you flirting with him at first. Make sure that you aren’t making him uncomfortable with aggressive tactics. Ask him simple questions and see how well he reciprocates. If he’s not asking you questions about your life or what you do then he might not be interested. In most situations a shy guy can spring to life when a girl approaches him, but this isn’t always the case. Go slowly with him, but make sure that he knows you’re interested.

Touching

Touching him is a good way to show interest, but don’t fall all over him. Shy guys love a girl that will touch his shoulder or arm while she’s flirting. Make the touches subtle. Brush against him or touch his arm when you laugh at a joke. Even the subtlest touches will not go unnoticed. Wait for him to touch you back. Usually touching begins with the guy. He will put his hand on your back or touch your arm lightly. However, with a shy guy, you probably need to make the first move when it comes to physicality.

Give Compliments

Compliments are essential for flirting with a shy guy. Compliments work well because they are a quick boost of confidence. Shy guys aren’t looking for girls that are self-involved so when you compliment them you show that you are interested in them instead of yourself. Complimenting their job, appearance or taste in music is easy for breaking the ice and bringing him out of his shell.

Don’t Ask For A Date

Shy guys like women who are upfront, but don’t ask him for a date. Wait until he asks you or make an excuse to give him your phone number. Shy guys are notorious for letting great girls slip through their fingers, so you want to put the ball in his court without making it seem like you are. Use mutual interests as a way to get his phone number or as a way to give him your number. For instance, if you’re both into basketball, say something like “Let me give you my number so we can watch the game together this weekend.” Watching a basketball game together is not a date, but it is a way to get together.

Don’t Play Games

As stated before, shy guys are usually shy for a reason. Whether the reason is a tough childhood or being hurt in the past, shy guys are quick to drop a girl that plays a lot of games. If you are a game player, you need to put all of your nuttiness on hold. Not responding to phone calls in a timely manner or lying to him are off limits. If you really want to flirt with a shy guy and have it go somewhere, don’t play games with him. If he picks up on the fact that you are playing games with him he will probably never call you again.

Learning how to flirt with a shy guy is not difficult, but it does take a different approach than with other guys. Shy guys can be a lot of fun once they feel comfortable enough with you. Approaching shy guys and using the best tactics to flirt with them is vital to establishing a healthy relationship they feel comfortable in. Don’t be too aggressive and you should see an improvement in your flirting abilities with shy guys.

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In my hundreds of trips to strip clubs around the world, I’ve learned that the girls basically fall under one of four categories. Knowing these will help you to grab a date with a stripper (or just get laid by one), so pay attention!

1. The Pros

These chicks have got at least two years of experience under their G-strings. They’re hot, polished, and are experts at selling their sexuality. They smell amazing and almost never have real breasts.

Onstage, they work the pole like an Olympic athlete— they’ve got the splits, acrobatic routines, etc. down cold. They’re hyper-focused on making fast cash, which means they don’t get high or drunk on the job, and they’ll ditch a customer the moment he stops spending.

Be aware, the Pros have heard it all. If they work in a big market like Vegas, they’ve been propositioned by millionaires, movie stars and professional athletes (and they’ve had sex with more than a few). If they work in a club in a small town, they’ve had some of the wealthiest guys in the area try to get in their pants. And they’ve probably given it up—because pros are all about the cash.

You can bang them—but you need to take an original, tactical approach. The second you do anything that paints you as a customer, she’ll only view you as source of cash—and as soon as you stop spending, she’s moving on to the next guy.

Pros will rock your world in bed and give you incredible orgasms, but don’t get emotionally involved with them. You’re not going to change them. (In other words, don’t try to be “Captain Save-A-Ho.”) No matter what they tell you about wanting to go back to school or finding a different job, and say how much they hate stripping, they are addicted to the cash and the lifestyle and are going to keep riding this gravy train as long as they can.

When you’re hanging out with a Pro, expect guys to be calling and texting her cell phone constantly. She’ll tell you it’s “just a friend,” but this is stripper speak for, “I bang him once in a while, because he covers my car payments and buys me expensive stuff.”

2. The Semi-Pros

The Semi-Pros can be just as hot as the Pros, but they haven’t been working as long (less than a year). They haven’t mastered the game yet. They’re still susceptible to the lies some guys throw their way (i.e. the cheese balls who claim they’re movie producers or modeling scouts, and want to “make her a star.”)

These girls haven’t accepted themselves as hard-core, full-time strippers yet, and will tell you about their other plans, the reason they’re saving up their money, etc. In some cases, it’s actually true.

But, many of these girls get addicted to the stripper lifestyle and are unable to walk away from the easy cash. They wind up becoming “Pros”—scrapping their other plans and accepting this as their career for the foreseeable future.

3. The Rookies

You might meet some very hot Rookies in the clubs, especially these days—since the job market sucks and all kinds of girls are taking jobs in the strip clubs to pay their bills. Rookies can be easy targets because they’re still trying to figure out the game. Some really don’t want to be working in the clubs doing stripteases, and are open to meeting a guy who will help them out financially and allow them to quit.

In this lousy job market, some Rookies are women who are straight-up M.I.L.F.s (Mothers I’d Like To F***)—they’re in their 30′s or even 40′s and started working the pole out of financial desperation. With these ladies, you can play on the fact that they’re older than the other girls and are probably a little bit insecure about it.

Other Rookies start stripping at a young age (18-21) and are usually airheads. They flaunt the club rules (showing up late, drunk or stoned), and their stage routines and lap dances look like gymnastic tryouts, cheerleader practices, or some routine they learned from the latest music video.

Real breasts are one sign of a Rookie. She hasn’t been working long enough to pay for silicone airbags, or to meet some customer who buys them for her. The cool thing about Rookies is that they’re not jaded and warped yet by the job. It’s easier to get them talking honestly and openly about themselves, and usually they’re more into hanging out and having drinks than hustling customers. Get her laughing and chatting, buy her a drink or two, and she’ll be in no hurry to get back to the grind.

4. The Skanks

These are the chicks you’d pay to leave you alone. They’re usually hooked on some drug (coke and meth are stripper favorites), and look like they haven’t slept in days. Dark circles under their eyes; ratty-looking, bleached-blond hair; faded tattoos; and twitchy, manic behavior are all signs of the Skank Stripper.

You’ll often find Skanks at the fully nude clubs, where they’re not above doing things onstage that would make a Thai bargirl blush. If you’re going to use drugs as a lure, these girls are good to go—but bang them at your own risk, and do it at a motel. Otherwise, you can expect these train wrecks to show up at your home a few days later, pounding on your front door at 5am because they need to borrow money to get high or bail their boyfriend “Spider” out of jail.

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Nightclubs and bars are the most common places to meet singles, but what if you want to meet singles during the day? Meeting them during the day can feel more natural and build confidence. Most guys like meeting girls during the day because of the games that women play in nightclubs in bars. If you would like to meet singles during the day, there are a few places that you can check out. Having a routine and using a little bit of logic is the best way to accomplish the task at hand. Here are a few ways that you can meet singles during the day.

At Coffee Shops

Almost everybody has their favorite drink at Starbucks, Caribou Coffee or any other coffee shop around your town. The best time to meet singles is during the morning rush. People tend to stop by their favorite coffee shop before work. 7-8:30 is a great time to pop into a coffee shop because there will be a line.

If you have a traditional 9-5 job then you will be dressed in business attire, which makes you look like you have it together. Chat up a girl that is in line with you. If she likes you, she will probably show up the next day at the same time. Keep to this routine and you will start to see regulars at the coffee shop.

At Grocery Stores

Grocery stores are like a hub for singles. Everybody has to buy food and you can easily meet singles at grocery stores with just a bit of detective work. A lot of guys don’t like approaching girls during the day out of fear that they will have a boyfriend. Checking the items in their cart can usually be a telltale sign of whether or not they have a boyfriend.

Look for men’s products with a quick glance before you talk to them. Don’t scour through their stuff, but take a second to look for male shaving cream, face wash or something else that would indicate that they have a boyfriend. If you don’t see these items then she could still have a boyfriend, but if you do see them she definitely does. Approach her with ease and ask if she has used a product in the aisle. This is an easy icebreaker that can lead to a conversation.

At Gyms

Gyms can be a great place to meet singles. With all of the endorphins in the room you will find girls more open to talking. The best way to meet single women at the gym is to use a machine after them. The problem with trying to meet singles at the gym is that they usually have their iPod on. Smile at a girl as she’s getting off of a machine and simply say “hey.” If she doesn’t answer you then her music is too loud. If she does answer you back then you can start talking about the different machines in the gym. Wing it and you’ll find her more open to talking than you thought.

At The Bank

Almost everybody has to go to the bank now and again. Heading to the bank to deposit money or take money out can be a great way to meet singles during the day. If you’re single, it’s best to forgo the convenient services of online banking and get out into the world. It’s too easy to hide behind modern technology.

Instead of using the ATM, go inside and deposit your check with a teller. This will force you to get in line and you never know when another single will be in front or behind you. Say hello to any girl that is waiting with you. Not only could this lead to a potential date, it will help the time pass as you are both waiting.

At A Dog Park

This one only applies to guys that have dogs. It’s no secret that a dog park is a haven for singles. The best thing about a dog park is that you are standing around as your dog plays with the other dogs. This leaves you open to conversation. Chat up a girl that is in the park. A lot of girls go to dog parks in hopes of finding singles. They might never admit it, but it’s true.

Girls love guys who have dogs because it shows compassion. Dog parks allow people with something in common to have light conversations. Ask her about the kind of breed her dog is. Ask her about local pet services or different products that you have tried. This is an easy icebreaker that you can implement with little hassle.

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Women Love Making Comparisons

They compare things like diamond sizes, or this year’s sales with last season’s – wishing to see who’s got the biggest stone, or the more elegant product line. (I told you they’re into details.) Most of all, women love weighing guys against each other when it comes to sex. Some are blunt about it, others are more sophisticated and subtle, but when they compare, boy, do they compare! They’ll weigh a man with just about anybody & anything.

Through comparisons, a girl fishes out who she considers the “best.”

What She’s Looking At

She’ll measure you against her ideal man – that perfect gentleman she’s been fantasizing about since she was 14. She’ll compare how you move, with how he moves. How you do her, and how Mr. Perfect supposedly does it. She’ll note every aspect of you and weigh it against her ideal. This of course, includes your penis size as well. Very easily, you will lose – you are bound to lose. (But don’t worry, if she cares enough, she’ll turn you into a project and begin changing every detail of your soul so you approximate her dream guy. Good luck on that one.) She’ll compare you with all the guys she’s ever had sex with – well, at least those she remembers.

So What About Sex?

There’s a hierarchy of guys in her head and if she’s been around the block more than once, she remembers the losers, the one-night stands and yes, even the breast masher. She’ll even compare her orgasms with you and those she gets via self-service – heck, she’ll even compare you with her sex toys. She won’t readily own up to these superficialities, she may not even notice she’s doing them.

But this does happen, and in this game of comparisons, it pays to be unique. The female brain is always on the prowl for something new, something different. The moment she realizes you’re just like the rest, she will brush you off. A girl can’t attend to every insignificant person that comes her way.

Her Emotions Are Involved Too (Of Course)

Her emotions will certainly command a big share of how she sees you as a bedmate. Everybody may see you as a pitiful excuse for a human being, and therefore a waste of skin, but if you’ve hostaged a woman’s emotions, everything and everybody else don’t matter. You may really lose all comparisons, but if she’s that into you, she’ll let you win! If she’s flushed with EMOTIONS, if she’s sooo head-over-heels, you could ooze with sexual lameness and she’ll still be adoring you.

Letting It Go And Being Confident

By the way, none of these comparisons and emotions thing is objective. They are never objective. Remember, people, especially women, are not logical creatures, although they’d like to think they are. You’re dealing here with judgments that can be muddled by her perceptions, expectations and preferences. (Come to think of it, who in this world is completely objective?)

Many guys ask me: Is it possible that one woman will judge you great in bed while another count you as average?

Of course! Knowing the nature of humans and sex, expect that. Nobody bats a perfect thousand. Accept that, have confidence in bed anyways and you’re golden.

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Meeting somebody that you actually like and think you could have a connection with can put you on Cloud 9. When you meet somebody that you think you could have a future with all you can think about is not screwing it up. Here are some simple dating tips with excellent results to help you keep the guy you like.

The Right Attire

Men like women who have classic looks. This means leaving the animal prints and other out there fashions at home during the date. It doesn’t matter if you work on Wall St. or at McDonalds, there are fashions that are affordable for any income that will allow you to have a classic look. Black dresses and other classic fashions can be found at various outlet stores. Dress up for your date but make sure that you’re dressed appropriately. You won’t want to wear a black dress to an outdoor event.

Realize When He’s A Loser

If a guy picks you up and has no plans then he’s a loser. If a guy picks you up and he’s not dressed appropriately, he’s a loser. If a guy doesn’t ask you questions or only talks about himself, he’s obnoxious and a loser. Don’t date a guy that you have no connection with just because you think that he’s interested in you. You know that it’s not going to work out and it’s best to move on. Realizing that he’s a loser from the get-go is the best way to avoid getting hurt or annoyed during the date.

Ordering Etiquette

One of the best dating tips out there is to monitor what you’re ordering at a restaurant. When a date is going well you should be on your toes about the guy paying for your meal. Only order food, drinks or dessert when the guy orders these. This is a courtesy that a lot of women do not take part in. If you really want dessert, then offer to pay for it. He probably will not let you, but he will love the fact that you tried to pay for yourself. The last thing a guy wants to do is drain his bank account every time he takes you out. If you are still hungry after the date, raid the fridge when you get home.

Don’t Bring Up The Exes

Never, ever, ever bring up exes when you are out for the first couple of dates. This is one of the best dating tips or a reason. Bringing up the fact that your ex cheated on you or left you for your best friend is not something that a guy wants to hear. Baggage is extremely unattractive to men and when you talk about your exes it can come off that you’re not over the relationship yet. If you do bring up your exes, don’t expect another phone call from your date.

Be Easy

No, not that kind of easy. Be easy in the sense that if plans change or the restaurant has a long wait you are not a complete prima donna about it. Men don’t want a woman that they have to be on eggshells with. Comfort on a first date is pretty foreign and there can be shake-ups along the way. However, when you let things roll off your shoulders you can show him that you’re cool and collected. Making a big deal about something that you ordered can have him thinking that you’re high maintenance.

Dating tips can be extremely useful when you meet the right guy. Being easygoing during the date and having the right etiquette throughout is essential to getting a second date. Never go out with a guy that you know isn’t right for you from the beginning and do not talk about your ex-boyfriends during the first couple of dates.

Dressing appropriately for the date is essential and you should know exactly what you are going to do and where you are going beforehand. Taking these dating tips to heart should yield you some pretty great results. If you break them you could find yourself at the bottom of a bin of Vanilla on a Friday night instead of having a fun conversation with a guy who will treat you right.

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You need to be:

1. Confident
2. Interesting
3. Masculine
4. Fun

When you can convey these four qualities to a woman during the first conversation, I guarantee she’s going to want to see you again (or have sex with you that night!).

Yeah, it sounds obvious—you need to be confident and masculine to attract women. Of course. But so few guys actually heed this advice!

Being Too “Nice”

They might read a book like this one and try to be confident and masculine at first, but as soon things start going well with the girl they worry about blowing it. So they revert back to being their “usual selves”—trying to keep the girl interested in them by being super NICE.

(The guy thinks, “If I can prove to her that I’m a nice guy and a gentleman, and that I respect her—and that I’m not looking for sex—then she’ll trust me and want to date me!”)

No. Sooner or later, she’ll want to cut you loose because you’re acting like a typical insecure chump who doesn’t have the balls to act like a man and give her what she’s really looking for: masculinity, confidence, fun and sexual excitement.

By behaving towards women in the “typical” manner, these guys mess up their chances. As for seducing a stripper, you can forget about it; you absolutely must man up if you’re going to capture their interest and get their juices flowing.

I also want you to remember this saying: “The best way to pick up women is to have something better to do than pick up women.”

Have An Actual Purpose In Your Life (Besides Chicks)

Women are attracted to men who have a purpose in life (beyond going out and trying to get laid, or find a girlfriend!). When a guy is passionate about his purpose and focused on achieving goals, that’s sexy. The problem with most guys is that they make a woman their purpose. They’re needy. They’re jealous. They’re worried about losing her. And eventually, they do.

Women want you to be their rock. They want to know they can count on you to make decisions, lead them, and calm them down and get them back on track when they’re going through one of their dramas or mood swings. Women are all over the place emotionally. They’re a swirling sea of emotions, and what they need is a man who can be the rock that their waves crash against.

Be about something. Have interesting hobbies and passions. Set goals for yourself. Have your own opinions, don’t just follow along with the herd.

How To Be A “Masculine Guy”

Be a leader. Lead the conversation. There’s no rule that says you need to talk about whatever topic she brings up. And you’re not required to answer her questions. In fact, I blow off all of a woman’s standard questions. (“Where are you from,” “what do you do,” etc. You’ll always get these questions from strippers because it’s part of their sales routine: they want to build a connection with you before they go for the close (ask you to buy a striptease). You’ve also got to lead physically. I tell girls that I’m hitting on them. I’d love to to be in bed with them.

Men are wired to spread their seed. Women are wired to want to be with men who can provide them with a stable, secure environment in which they can have kids and raise them.

This stuff is happening on a subconscious level. It’s not like while you’re sitting there having a drink with a stripper, she’s thinking, “Hmm, maybe I should let this guy knock me up. He seems like he would provide a stable, secure environment.”

What women (and strippers) are looking for are cues: signals that you have the qualities she is wired to seek in a man. The cool thing is, when you give her these signals (in a way that seems genuine, not phony) she’s going to feel attraction. She has no choice in the matter! It’s in her DNA.

When a man conveys those four qualities in an authentic way, women can’t resist feeling attracted to him—just as you will automatically feel attracted to a young, gorgeous woman with big breasts. You can’t shut off your brain’s “attraction mechanism.” Neither can women.

When you do masculine things in her presence, she senses that you are a confident guy. If you’re confident, you’re going to do things that demonstrate leadership—and then she’ll see you as a guy who can be her “emotional rock” and provide her with the stability she needs to feel safe.

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When it comes to sex, nothing is bigger than confidence. Absolutely nothing. This trait alone will get you laid way more times than any god-like appearance.

He who feels he doesn’t belong in the same room or breathe the same air as a woman doesn’t deserve to get laid. She doesn’t want to be with a guy who fidgets like fish out of water, of course not! Insecurity is a turn-off worse than halitosis – it damns you by killing the mood and messing up your moves. A good lover doesn’t fluster his woman with any squirming or twitching, he comes to sex with no apologies, stands naked with self-worth intact, raw with confidence. He gets women thinking, “This guy knows what he is doing.”

Sex is something he desires, not fear – his confidence springing from a blend of knowledge and experience. He knows exactly what to do, and he’s done it many times – he exudes bewitching self-assurance.

How Confidence Manifests Itself

Imagine the bedroom is submerged in a swimming pool and the two of you are making love underwater. That’s how slow and smooth you should go – as if your body is moving through water. This says to a girl, “I have no nervous energy to dissipate because I am comfortable with the situation. You should be too.” It’s more relaxing than any nervous tick.

You can move faster as the sexual process unfolds, but never be in a hurry – that has always been the rookie mistake. Women don’t stay around with guys who act like someone’s chasing them, but they flock towards confidence. As I’ve said, the confident get laid way more than any ridiculously good-looking insecure guy.

What Sexual Confidence Really Is

Sexual confidence is simply knowing what you’re doing as a result of having (the right) sex tips and (the right) experience. That’s what it really boils down to. But these things won’t come knocking on your door, you’d have to grab them by the balls. That’s what you’re doing right now, you’re investing in the ‘knowledge’ part. As a result of the, you will know exactly what to do and will have the confidence leading your woman.

But sex is one of those things you master not by reading volumes, but by actually experiencing the dirty work for yourself. So go get some! Getting the right experience, I can only guarantee you one thing: you’re gonna have to pay your dues. You’ll commit mistakes – a lot of them. Now let me be completely clear. You can have one single partner your entire life and learn to be a masterful lover. You do NOT have to be with multiple women. In fact, that can be one of the biggest turn-offs to women – a guy who is “well used.”

You’ll crash, you’ll burn, you’ll be scratching your head in exasperation – well, maybe not that dramatic, you could simply be doing the moves and not getting the expected reaction. You waited for her to enter ecstasy, but she didn’t. She didn’t react at all.

What To Do When You Crash And Burn

How you handle situations like this will dictate if you will ever become great in bed. You need to be able to roll with the punches and not be bothered with disappointments. Don’t let them take you out of the moment and prevent your enjoyment of sex, don’t make a big deal out of it.

I have yet to meet a man who has gone on to become sexually confident but didn’t go through this journey of discovery. There may be shortcuts when it comes to sexual knowledge, but there are none when it comes to experience.

Honestly, this is the most exciting part of building sexual confidence – being in the trenches, learning and enjoying the process. As I’ve said, this is also the most decisive part, you could either get better over time, or your perfectionist and emotional tendencies could get the better of you and lead to a negative spiral where you get incompetent over time.

If I were you, I would just enjoy the process, NO PRESSURES.

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1. Some Guys Really Do Just Want To Know The Time

Not all approaches are part of the seduction game. Men do approach women that they are attracted to, but a guy that needs the time could also just need to know what time it is. Brushing off every guy that tries to approach you is not the way to go through life. If a guy walks up and tries to ask you a question about a product then be aware that he might just need to know if the product works. When he starts to transition the conversation into where you work, if you’re single or any other personal information be on the lookout for seduction.

2. Speaking Of Time, If He Doesn’t Seem To Have Enough Of It…

A time constraint is one of the most widely used aspects of seduction. The basic concept makes the guy seem limited during his approach. This is the same concept that Internet marketers use to get you to buy a product. They say something like “I can only talk for a second,” which is reminiscent of “for a limited time only.” If a guy tries to pulls this on you, have your guard up. The reason that so many guys use this is because it does work. This is a universal game. What works on you will also work on other women.

3. He Seems More Interested In Your Friends

One of the biggest signs that a guy is seducing you is that he ignores you and goes for your friend. This is a tactic that has gotten a lot of women. What it does is it gets you thinking “Why isn’t he talking to me?” You feel a little rejected so you start vying for his attention instead of him vying for your attention. This is a good method for picking up women and if you look at any nightclub or bar after 11pm you will probably see it. Once the conversation has died a little he will start to talk to you and you will feel special. This is a fake feeling that he has crafted.

4. “Bouncing”

Another method of seduction is called “bouncing.” Bouncing basically involves getting you away from your friends. This is the sign of an experienced expert. He will basically tell you something like “Let’s go to this place for a quick drink.” He is trying to bounce you away from your friends. Seduction is all about putting you a place that you might not feel very comfortable in. If you have never been to a club, bar or restaurant then the most comfortable thing that you have there is him. Be on the look out for this seduction technique when a guy tries it and you won’t get played.

5. He Knows Everything

Does the guy you are talking to seem to have an answer for everything? Is he leading the conversation and saying all the right things? Does it seem too good to be true? If you answered yes to any of these questions then you are probably the prize in a seduction technique. Routines are a way for guys to get enough confidence to talk to you. The reason that they have an answer for everything is because they have done the routine hundreds if not thousands of times. You should start to pick up on his routine throughout the conversation. If you do pick up on it, give a short answer to end the conversation and watch him squirm.

Getting played through a seduction technique is not something that any girl wants to go through. Knowing the signs of seduction is the best way to avoid being a victim in a guy’s routine. Seduction can be fun when you know that you’re being seduced, Making him work for it and then shutting the whole situation down can bruise even the most experienced seduction expert. Take these signs into consideration the next time that you think you’re being seduced.

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Most strip clubs operate on three shift intervals: Days, Swing and Graveyard. Each is a different animal, and has pros as well as cons.

Days

This shift usually runs from about eight in the morning until five in the evening. Day shift dancers are a mixed bag: in a big club you’ll probably find some stunners, but this is also when the less attractive ones work. Some stunners will choose this less lucrative shift because they have personal commitments that prevent them from working evenings—such as kids, or a boyfriend who wants her home at night. The less attractive ones are employed during the day because the club management needs live bodies on the floor in the daytime and they’d rather the more attractive girls be on the floor at night.

Swing

Swing shift runs from about five until one in the morning. This is usually when you’ll find the top-shelf hotties. Also, most new dancers break in on swing shift, which is also known as the “party shift.” As the busiest of all shifts, this one has the most girls, the most customers, and the most challenges for you to deal with. While swing shift dancers might be the hottest, they’re also in higher demand because this is when the club sees the most traffic. This might make it difficult to engage the dancer you want in an extended conversation, since there are other guys willing to shell out money for a private striptease.

Graveyard

In cities where clubs are permitted to be open until very late (such as Las Vegas, where the clubs never close), graveyard shift runs from about midnight until about seven in the morning. If I go to a strip club on a weekend, I hit it late (which in Vegas means after 4am, after I’m through at the bars).

As a local, I don’t want to get caught up in hordes of drunken tourists throwing money around. Better to let the crowd thin out, then show up and work your magic. This applies to whatever city you live in.

I don’t suggest visiting during peak hours. I like to go to the club on slow nights. No matter how strong your dating game is, if the club is packed with guys, her main focus is going to be on making money.

IMPORTANT NOTE: The next time you visit a club that you like, find out the shift changes. (Ask a waitress.) Then, plan your future visits around the shift changes. I like to show up an hour or two before the swing shift (late afternoon-evening) ends and the graveyard shift (late night-early morning) begins.

This way, when I suggest meeting a girl after her shift, I know they’ll be off work soon and I’ll be fresh in their minds when they clock out. On the other hand, if you meet a stripper at the beginning of her shift, her memory of you will be hazy (if she remembers you at all) eight hours later, after she’s consumed a bunch of drinks and entertained twenty other guys. So, timing really is essential.

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Pick up lines are some of the worst methods getting a girl’s attention. When you use a line you show that you’re not only desperate, but also highly unoriginal. They are played out and make you come off as a tool. If you have ever thought about using a line, get it out of your head immediately. Here are the top 5 reasons they just don’t work.

1. They’re Generic

“Come here often?” The line doesn’t work primarily because it’s too generic. The fact that you’re using it on a girl that you don’t know shows that you don’t really care about her or have anything original to say. This shows her that you’re not a guy that separates himself from the pack. When you use an original “Hello” or “How are you” you don’t come off as a guy who bombards women at every bar with the same line. “How are you” and “Hello” are pretty common for every day conversation so this gives you a non-threatening way of approaching women.

2. They’re Needy

There is nothing more pathetic than a guy who is desperate. When you use pick up lines, you come off as a guy who only wants to have sex. This can be problematic for a guy who really does want to get to know a girl. When you use a line like “great dress, but it would look better on my bedroom floor,” you sound like a guy who is desperate for sex. Women want a guy that has options. When you use a line you look like you would just say the line to any girl that walks by. Avoid using pick up lines so you don’t look needy.

3. They’re Unoriginal

You know when you walk into a bar or a club and you see every guy or girl dressed the same? How many times do you think a girl has been given a pick up line and actually followed through on it? Women are hit on by guys every day and most guys stick with pick up lines because they are familiar. So when a girl hears you say something that she has heard a couple of hours before, she’s going to be even more put off by you. Pick up lines have been around forever. Chances are, she’s heard it and it’s not going to make her laugh or feel attracted to you.

4. They’re Creepy

How would you feel if some guy walked up to you and said that one about the angel falling from heaven? I would definitely be creeped out. This is exactly how women feel when some stranger walks up to her and delivers a line. Creeping a girl out is not the way to get a phone number. You want to build comfort and rapport with the girl in order to take a relationship to the next level. When you use a  line, you’re going to creep her out and you will probably see it on her face.

5. They’re Not Funny

The fact of the matter is that pick up lines aren’t that funny. They can even be offensive to a lot of women. Do you think that you’re going to get her phone number after offending her? Probably not. It’s best to use a simple opener when approaching women. A pick up line can leave a bad taste in her mouth and leave you feeling like an idiot. If you think that it’s funny, stop yourself anyway.

Pick up lines are usually seen on TV or in movies, but think about the guy that is saying them. Is he the hero of the film or show? More than likely he’s the creep that nobody wants around. Pick lines are generic and will never come off as appealing to women. They have the ability to ruin a situation that could have become favorable with just a simple opener. Some pick up lines even have the ability to offend the girl and send her on her way after the first sentence is spoken.

Even if you do have a hilarious pick up line, she might not get the joke. This could leave you explaining why it’s funny and explaining a joke effectively creates an awkward situation. It’s best to leave you pick up lines at the door when you’re out approaching women. Use an environmental opener or mention something about her clothing to get a conversation started properly.

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Everyone wants one (or two, or three if you’re a rock star) of their own, but how do you get them? If a lack of hot college girls is your problem, take a look at some of the best dating tips around for meeting ladies at school Sit down, strap in and make sure you’ve got condoms, because we will have you knee deep in college hotties in no time!

Building Your Social Circle

So how do you get the hot girl of your dreams? Build your social circle first. Be the guy everyone wants to be with. You know that expression, “the life of the party?” That’s you, or it should be. We’re not saying be a clown or act like a train seal, but be confident and be the person people always want to be around. When everyone wants to be around you, inevitably, you will find yourself surrounded by hot girls.

Be less of an outsider. Once you’ve got that social circle going and they are at least associated with you in some way, you’re no longer some random creepy guy hitting on them. You’re now a friend of a friend, and someone who has a certain reputation and trust level. Once you have the trust level, you’re in.

Go to events, get in with fun positive people and let their good vibes rub off on you. Events are crucial. If you want to fish, you need to go to where the fish are. Going to a lake where tons of fishermen are trying to fish a pond, it’s great odds, no matter how many fish are in the lake. Generally, there won’t be that many fish in the lake, because so many people are fishing in it.

If you go to a lake that is teaming with fish and you’re the only fisherman (or one of the only fishermen) there, how good do you think your odds of catching a fish is? A lot better than it was. This is actually one of the most essential dating tips you’ll ever learn. Find out what kind of fish you’re looking for and find out what pond they are in and then go there. Yoga class, theatre, choir, you name it.

And when people have great vibes, people are drawn to them. You need those people in your life and they need to be your friends. They can only make your life better. In every way.

Don’t Hit On Everyone

Keep it casual, don’t hit on every hot girl. This isn’t brain surgery. You’re not trying to balance the budget or eradicate the national debt. You’re trying to hook up with hot girls. Don’t be too serious and relax. And be selective. If you hit on anything that moves, guess how that makes you look? Wanna guess? It’s not good, that’s a hint. Actually, it’s the answer, but whatever.

Use facebook, that’s why it’s there. Facebook was literally invented to hook up with hot college chicks. Social media is your friend. Use it. Hitting a girl up on Facebook can sometimes be less threatening that going up and asking for her number. Almost everyone accepts friend requests, so once she does, you’re in.

Go to class. If there is a hot girl in your class, sit next to her. Ask her for a pen, ask if she has a study guide for the exam. Better yet, ask her to study with you. Do something to start the conversation. Anything. Well, maybe not anything. No cheesy pickup lines. Allowed. Ever. No exceptions. Seriously. We mean it.

Ask her out to a lunch date on or off campus, that can be a fun, low pressure way to get the ball rolling. You should also go to fun crazy parties. Girls there have had a few drinks, they’re more relaxed, and more approachable

Bring Something To The Table

It’s also really important to have something to offer. Hot girls can have anyone they want. So why would they want you? To get the girl, you have to know who you are and what you bring to the table. You have something going for you that no one else on the planet does. Figure out what that is and develop it.

Join clubs, have hobbies. Hot girls like to see a man with balance. Why? Because if he’s got a lot going on and he’s got his act together, he’s much less likely to be needy and all over her (and not in a fun way)

Basically, it’s all about disarming the girl. Hot girls are always on def-con five. They have security walls up to protect themselves from losers, rapists, creeps and Tommy Lee. If you want to get in her pants or heart or mind, you’ll need to get her to lower the shields first.

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1. You And Your Partner Can Be A “Mismatch”

A penis doesn’t always fit into a vagina perfectly. Yes, they’re generally “made to fit together,” but that doesn’t always happen. Sometimes, a man can be much smaller than a woman, resulting in reduced pleasure for both of them because his penis is too small to stimulate the walls of his partner’s vagina.

Also, a man can be too large for a woman, resulting in pain or discomfort for her. A vagina is made to stretch, but there’s only so much length in there. A vagina will double in length when a woman is aroused (from about 4″ long to about 8″) but there are still some men who are substantially larger than this.

2. A Woman’s Orgasms Can (And Will) Outnumber A Man’s

It’s no secret that women can have multiple orgasms. But did you know that it’s possible for a girl to have a pretty much unlimited number of climaxes? That’s right. Most men have one and they’re extremely lucky to get two, but that’s pretty rare even for the pros.

However, a girl can climax again and again during sex, simply because she never goes all the way back down to square one after she reaches orgasm, unless she stops all pleasure completely and waits for her “oven to cool off,” so to speak. The female orgasm is similar to an oven, where it takes quite some time to warm up and reach temperature, but also a significant amount of time to cool down. While the oven is “hot,” she can climax over and over!

3. Confidence Will Make You Look Sexier

Confidence matters much, much more than what you look like or anything you wear. Both women and men become instantly more attractive when the show a good amount of confidence in themselves, because frankly, a low self esteem isn’t very becoming on anyone.

Forget about donning the lingerie for sex – just go in and strut your stuff. Care less about your cellulite or stray body hairs and care more about awesome foreplay and incredible orgasms. Have confidence in not only your hotness, but also your ability to please your partner and experience pleasure yourself.

4. Regular Sex Will Improve Your Immune System

During sex, our bodies release a antibody called immunoglobulin-A, which can help fight off illnesses like the flu or the common cold. Regular sex can produce quite a bit of this antibody, which can help you stay healthier during cold and flu season. Did you really need another reason to snuggle up when it’s cold outside and get it on?

5. Women Fall Asleep After Sex Too

That is, if the sex was any good. If a woman is really and truly satisfied after sex (after having one or more orgasms), then she’s going to be dog tired too. It’s true that men get the bad rap for falling asleep after sex when the girls just want to talk or cuddle, but if the nookie really was that stellar, both parties are going to be out like a light in minutes.

6. Sex Is Better In Long Term Relationships

While casual sex is fun in and of itself, sex can get REALLY hot in a long term relationship or a marriage. Sure, you’ve heard the opposite, that the desire begins to wane after you’ve been with someone for a significant period of time. This, however, isn’t always the case.

Sex in a long term relationship can be super hot if you make it that way! Monogamy tends to create a feeling of safety and comfort between two people, where new and exciting fantasies can be tried without the fear of judgement or criticism. Basically, you can start doing those things you always fantasized about, but would never tell someone you just met.

7. Orgasms Relieve Menstrual Cramps In Women

Most women don’t want to have sex on their periods, but it can actually be very beneficial if you can get over the “yuck” factor. Just lay a towel down and hop in the shower afterwards. Believe it or not, a good orgasm can produce enough endorphins to help relieve menstrual cramps better than over the counter pain medicine.

Also, during an orgasm, the uterus will contract, helping to shed more of the inner lining at once. Getting the lining out quicker, so to speak, will help your period become shorter and lighter in the coming days.

8. Medications Can Be Responsible For A Lowered Sex Drive

If you have experienced a dip in your sex drive (or your partner has), take a look at what’s inside your medicine cabinet. Anti-depressants and anti-psychotics are notorious for causing both men and women to desire sex less. Other medications for blood pressure, diabetes and more can cause a decreased libido as well. If you’re struggling with your sexual desire and you take any kind of medications, you may want to check with your doctor about a change in meds. Never switch medications or stop them without your doctor’s clearance first.

9. Men Only Ejaculate About A Teaspoon – But Girls Can Ejaculate Much More!

When a man ejaculates, it may seem like a lot of fluid is coming out because it comes out in so many spurts. However, a man really will only ejaculate about a teaspoon of semen, give or take a little. Women can ejaculate also, but they can ejaculate much, much more than just a teaspoon of fluid! It takes some practice and some women are never able to do it, but many girls can ejaculate LOTS of fluid during sex or masturbation. That’s why they call it “squirting!”

10. It’s Normal To Have “Strange” Sex Fantasies

If you think your sex fantasies are weird, or no one else has them and you’re just a freak, think again! There are SO many sexual fantasies out there in almost every flavor you can imagine (and some that would never cross your mind).

Rest assured that odds are, someone else out there likes what you like sexually, regardless of how strange it might seem. It’s also completely normal for odd sexual things to flit across your mind now and then, even if you would never, ever consider doing something like that in real life.

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Your Breasts

Breasts are often served up first during foreplay, much to every single guy’s excitement. Some men are really super into breasts while others just “like” them, but there are very, very few guys (if any) that don’t like breasts at all. The thing is, a lot of women think that men only like certain kinds of breasts. For example, a man might only think a pair of breasts are sexy if they’re the right size and if they’re perky.

This isn’t true at all – it’s simply the result of social conditioning by lingerie companies. Men actually love all breasts. Any size, shape, color – it doesn’t matter. A woman with very large breasts might be unhappy that her breasts sag when she’s not wearing a bra, but her man is most likely just enjoying burying his face in them and making motorboat sounds. A woman with small breasts might want them to be bigger, but her guy is most likely just enjoying tickling and playing with her perky nipples. Men love breasts and they love every kind.

Your Butt

Your fella loves your butt. No matter what your butt looks like – whether it’s big and smackable, or a tiny little thing that looks good in a tight pair of jeans. Guys love to look at butts when they have sex, they like to grab them, smack them and sometimes even bite them. They like to watch you parade around in your underwear around the house and give you a little smack here and there. He especially likes to see it jiggle a little bit – or a lot, depending on his preferences.

Very few men have looked at a woman and said, “Wow, that ass just looks terrible. Just terrible.” In fact, what usually goes through a guy’s mind when he sees a butt that he particularly likes is how great it would look served up to him doggie style. So even if you have stretch marks or cellulite, you can bet that your guy loves your butt. Period.

Your Skin

Good foreplay involves lots of touching of your skin. Your guy loves your skin – he enjoys it so much because women’s skin is almost always softer than a man’s. It always smells good, is usually hairless in the important places and just feels great to rub, stroke, touch and grab. He’s not going to notice your stretch marks. He’s not going to be scrutinizing the quality of your skin, trying to figure out whether it’s dry and ashy and if you need to use more moisturizer or what kind you should use. He’s just enjoying touching and feeling the skin all over your body. So let him and don’t worry about it!

Your Lips

Most guys aren’t into fake lips. Ones injected with fillers, or those with lipliner drawn on so scarily that they really do look almost like a clown. Nope. He loves your soft, natural, wet lips. He especially enjoys them when you’re kissing him, or when he can feel them wrapped around his penis during a blowjob. He doesn’t like it when you put on gobs of lipstick or lipgloss – he may enjoy the way that looks in a photo or something, but he doesn’t want to come away with red or pink lips when he kisses you. And it just frustrates him if you’re wearing a lot of lip color, because then he can’t kiss you. He likes to kiss you whenever he wants!

Brush your lips with your toothbrush when you brush your teeth to remove dead skin and make them super soft. Dab on some good, organic balm and you’re perfectly kissable. He’ll love it.

Your Enthusiasm

If you are INTO sex, he’s going to be INTO you. Period. It doesn’t matter if you have rolls, cellulite, acne, droopy breasts. Doesn’t matter at all. If you are enthusiastic, excited about having sex with him and genuinely into it, he’s not going to notice all those things that you spend hours in the mirror picking apart. He’s just going to be so excited about how excited you are to be doing it with him. So next time you go to get it on with your beau, strip your clothes off, let him feel your skin, kiss him all over, rub your breasts in his face and act like you’re having the best time in the world. He won’t know what hit him.

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Meeting guys can seem like a pretty daunting task. If you have done the bar and club scene then you know what it’s like to have a sweaty guy try to rub his stuff all over you at 1 am. Even in a martini stupor this isn’t flattering. Meeting quality guys that will treat you right and respect a long-term relationship doesn’t have to be an elusive mirage. The fact of the matter is that there are worthwhile guys all around you. You just have to know where to look. Dating takes initiative. If you’re serious about find a relationship with the right kind of guy, here are a few suggestions to get your started.

At Church

Before you go into some kind of rant about religion, just hear me out. Men that go to church has morals that supersede the bar and club scene. They aren’t going to want some dirty tryst in the back of their car after last call. If you’re at all religious, think about how you can meet some quality guys at your church. You don’t have to be the biggest devout Christian, but if you were raised in the church this is a good place for meeting guys. Even if you don’t meet any guys, this could be a great place for making more friends.

At The Gym

Yes, the gym is a pretty popular choice. There are a ton of guys who like to stay in shape. If you also like to stay in shape then this could be a common interest that you might want to consider with your next potential relationship. Almost every town has local gym. In my experience, the local YMCA will have more young professionals because of the classes and services they offer for a cheaper price. The facilities are pretty vast also so you might want to take advantage of this.

In Electronics Stores

A ton of guys are wild about their gadgets. If you don’t believe me then head over to the Apple Store or you local Best Buy. Hang around the computer aisles and wait for a guy to come over. Ask him a question about a computer or a hard drive and let him teach you something about it. This is a great way of meeting men. You can base whether or not he’s a complete geek on how he dresses, but most guys know about electronics.

At The Dog Park

This is one of the best dating tips, especially if you have a dog, although you can still go if you don’t. Head over to your local dog park. The dog park gives you a great way to let your dog run free while you can chat up some fellow dog owners. A lot of singles have dogs. It gives them company since they are single. This is probably the reason that you have a dog. See a guy that you like? Ask him about what breed his dog is to get the ball rolling.

Take A Class

One of the best places to take a class at is The Home Depot or Lowes. Both of these places will have guys trying to learn about home repair. Even if you don’t meet a guy in one of these classes you can gain a little knowledge on how your home works. After the class is over you can scour the aisles for good-looking guys who are looking at tools. Strike up a conversation about painting a room and see where it goes.

Through Single Friends

Although this is a little obvious, your single friends know you best and they will be able to recommend some great guys. If you’re not using your single friends to meet guys, you should start immediately. Being set up on a blind date can be pretty nerve racking so if you do go with a single friend’s recommendation, make sure that you meet him first.

At Local Organizations

A great place for meeting single guys is through a local organization. Taking up a sport or a book club is a good place to meet single guys because you have something to talk about instantly. If you aren’t feeling it after a little while, you can reengage in the club or the sport.

Meeting men doesn’t have to be a full time job. In all of these occasions you can have a lot of fun while you try to meet some guys. In order to meet somebody that you really like you might have to come out of your comfort zone a little bit. The best dating tips are to take a chance and join a club or take a class. Just get out there! Meeting people is not very difficult when you have an open mind and connect on a deeper level than what he’s drinking.

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Why Strip Clubs Are So Irresistible

During my years living in Las Vegas, I came to appreciate strip clubs as one of the best environments on the planet to pick up hot, fun and extremely sexual women. As you know if you’ve ever partied in Las Vegas, there are countless bars and nightclubs where you can go to run game on “regular” girls. But I found that the logistics at strip clubs make them hard to resist:

1. Strip clubs are packed with sexy, scantily-clad women who love to party.
2. Every element of the atmosphere, from the lighting to the music, is designed to create an erotic, sensual mood.
3. It is the JOB of all these beautiful women to approach YOU!

Now, I realize of course that they’re approaching you because they want you to buy lap dances—at first. But by using a few clever techniques, you can get them to drop their “sales routine” and interact with you on a real level.

Pushing A Stripper’s Emotional Buttons

At that point, it’s simply a matter of knowing which emotional buttons to push, to get them to feel genuinely interested in you, and attracted. (The “stripper brain” is wired in a particular way, and there are tactics you can use that will work on virtually any girl who works the pole for a living.)

But before I arm you with the techniques necessary to pull off a successful Strip Club Seduction, I want to share with you the #1 Deadly Mistake that men make when they’re in strip clubs. This blunder utterly destroys their chances of ever hooking up with a stripper outside of the club.

By the way, I should also mention that if you’re content going to strip clubs just to hang out with your buddies, drink beer, and buy lap dances—knowing full well that you’re being hustled and will never sleep with any of the girls—go right ahead. You’re donating to a worthy cause: strippers have mouths to feed, bills to pay, and druggie musician boyfriends to support.

But on the other hand, if you’d prefer to step out of the “customer zone” and actually charm and seduce a hot stripper into your bed—and enjoy a rock star sex life, without having to spend any money—then I’ll show you the tactics you need to make it happen.

Trust me, once you use these methods to meet up with a stunning stripper outside of the club and bring her back to your place, you’re never going to want to return to the strip club as a “chump customer” again. You will see strip clubs in a new light. Instead of being a place where you spend your money only to be cock-teased, you’ll see the strip club as a target-rich environment where you can meet and charm beautiful and exotic babes.

Don’t Make THIS Mistake In A Strip Club!

So now, let me reveal that BIG MISTAKE that I referred to earlier, so that you never commit it in a strip club again.

The number one mistake that dudes make in strip clubs is behaving like a customer. The way the strippers see it, there are only two types of men in her work environment:

1. Customers
2. Everyone Else.

Your mission—should you choose to accept it—is to completely avoid category #1, and always be firmly planted in category #2. Every stripper I’ve ever hung out with (and I know hundreds) has a firm rule that she will not date/have sex with/party with customers. But they’re up for having fun with other guys.

It’s also important for you to understand the reason WHY strippers have this rule about not dating/sleeping with customers. It’s not because it goes against their morals. And it’s not because of the club rules (even though the management would definitely frown upon them it).

Why Strippers “Don’t” Date Customers

The reason is mainly financial. Strippers earn their living from customers. And the best customers are the “regulars” who come back to the club time and again, to sit with their favorite girl and buy stripteases.

Now, if the stripper was to accept this guy’s invitation to go on a date, and she wound up hooking up with him, do you think he’d ever come back to the club and spend more money on those silly lap dances? No way. He’d have no reason to blow any more cash at the club, and the stripper would lose a revenue stream.

The other reason strippers have their “I don’t bang customers” rule is because they associate the word “customer” with needy, desperate, or just plain creepy men. You can’t imagine some of the weirdos and sleazeballs these girls have to put up with at the club.

To cope with their job, they keep their minds focused on the money. They adopt a phony persona that they show to the customers. (This is why all strippers use “stage names.”) They don’t want to view customers as human beings; they see them as ATM machines from which they will withdraw as much money as possible.

And this is why the “golden rule” of strip clubs is this: STRIPPERS DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH CUSTOMERS. If you behave like one, you’re never going to lay a stripper. End of story.

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Be Flexible

When scheduling a date, try your best to plan for problems to crop up. If you are going to a concert that begins at 8:00pm, don’t plan on arriving at 7:55pm. Try to put in a 30-minute cushion in case your date is late, you have car problems, you run into traffic or something else happens. Being late can cause a lot of stress on a date. Arriving early gives you time to relax and have a good conversation while you wait.

If you are planning an outdoor date, try to have an indoor backup plan in case of inclement weather. Don’t let a date get ruined because you can’t have your picnic at the beach. Have your picnic in your living room instead. Or go bowling.

Realize that unavoidable things happen. You might lose your tickets or the restaurant might have lost your reservation. Don’t let these situations get you steamed. Show your date that you have class, composure and a sense of humor. Laugh it off.

Use Your Senses

If you want to have a really successful date, try to include as many of the five senses as possible. Here are just a few examples.

• Taste – good food, eating wild berries, nice wine or champagne
• Smell – candles, fragrant flowers, food grilling, mints
• Touch – sand in your toes, waterfalls, a gentle back massage, a warm fire
• Sight – sunsets, beautiful gardens, tour of a historic building
• Sound – a live band, birds chirping, waves crashing, waterfalls

Make It Personal

The ideas in this book are just a guide. If you know your date’s favorite colors, music, movies, restaurants, hobbies, etc. you can make the dates even more meaningful. Perhaps you should do the “Favorite Date” as one of your first so you have this information on hand.

But just because someone has a favorite restaurant, don’t get stuck in a rut by going there all the time. New experiences will add pizzazz to your relationship.

Surprise!

Almost everyone loves a good surprise. Build up the anticipation for a date by keeping certain elements a surprise. Maybe you can send clues for the date throughout the week. If it is a rather “simple” date, don’t play it up too big, otherwise your date might be disappointed.

I think surprises always add to the mystery and romance of a date. It tells me that my date has taken the time to plan something in advance.

What NOT To Do On a First Date

On your first date (and future dates) you want to make a good impression. Here are some things you want to be careful NOT to do:

• Forget your wallet
• Talk about all your previous relationships
• Brag – few things are more offensive than someone who is so full of them self
• Chew tobacco or reek of cigarette smoke
• Get drunk
• Talk about sex or make physical advances
• Be late
• Do dinner and a movie (how ordinary)

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5. Online Dating Sites Begin The Dating Process, Not Be The Engagement Period!

Creating a top-notch page on the dating website that you choose is one of the most important tasks ahead of you. It shows others who you are while providing you with the opportunity to craft a compelling overview that will help attract the right matches. There are many things that you can do to create a great page and you’re about to discover the most important ones.

Honesty Is Critical

Being honest about yourself is how you’re going to attract the right matches. If you’re dishonest you’re simply taking the chance of not receiving the dating results that you set out to attain. Your goal here is to show others your most important attributes and give them a clear picture of what to expect if they want to take the online dating relationship even further.

Demand Excellence From The Photos You Add

Many people fail to take the time to post good photos to their online dating profile. This is critical as it’s a visual representation that others will be seeing when they visit. You want to make sure that the photos that you post are going to compel those who want to learn more about you.

Creativity Is Key

It’s no secret that the creative ones are the ones to stand out from the crowd. By being creative,  you’re ensuring that you stand out to the matches that take the time to visit you. Nobody likes a dull person so make sure that your page doesn’t put you out to be one.

Avoid Any Forms Of Negativity

Being negative will be an instant turn-off to many people. If you are perceived to be a negative person the chances are that you won’t be able to connect with others. Make sure that you maintain a positive appearance and show others that you’re a person that’s not going to be the crash of the night.

Don’t Be A Dead User

Being active and finding matches that attract you is what’s going to contribute to your success in the online dating world. If you’re online daily you’ll notice that you will get a lot more views as dating websites feature the active users, not the inactive users that just add to the number of members in their user base.

You’ll also want to keep your page updated on a regular basis so that the image portrayed is one that reflects who you are now, not who you were before.

Bragging Can Lead To An Online Dating Failure

A lot of people think that if they brag about themselves they’ll attract more people and seem like the perfect person. This isn’t the case unfortunately. People don’t want to date someone that they see is going to do nothing but talk about themselves and how they are so awesome.

The goal here is to show others that you’re an extraordinary person. Have confidence but don’t talk about it – show it! This is simply a case that proves actions do indeed speak louder than words.

Clarify What You’re Looking For

Don’t expect others to automatically know what you’re looking for in a relationship. Clearly explain what would be the best match for you. This includes explaining what kind of personality you like and the kind of activities that you’d like your significant other to be a part of.

Being clear about what you want so you can give those who visit your page a clear picture of whether or not they would be someone that you’re truly interested in.

Don’t Forget That You’re Putting Yourself Out There

One thing that a lot of people fail to realize is that when they join a dating website they’re putting themselves out there for the world to see. This is why it’s important not only to follow the tips that were provided in this article, but also think about what they put on their page.

You want to be portrayed as someone that is worth having a relationship with. Not someone that aimlessly throws stuff up in an effort to quickly attract matches. After all, you can expect more people to be interested in you if you have a page that’s well thought out.

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The Best Ways To Meet Women

Meeting women doesn’t have to be as difficult or as intimidating as it sounds, although all the dating tips in the world aren’t going to make you feel like finding a girl is any less daunting. But it doesn’t have to be! There are actually lots of ways to get introduced to girls, and many of them may be through things you’re already doing! For example, some of the best places to meet girls are through activities and things you’re already involved in. If you have an interest or a hobby, try to find a group or club that you can get into where you can get to know people who share your same interests and passions.

Another great way to find girls is during the day – most girls are on guard at night, when they’re out clubbing or in bars. They’re expecting to get hit on, probably by a bunch of weirdos, so they’re automatically on guard against anything like that. During the day in relaxed situations like riding the bus or train or going to the supermarket is actually a great way to run into a girl while hear guard is down and start up a flirty conversation. You can make a much better first impression this way! Going to tourist spots or travelling, or enrolling in dance classes (those are loaded with girls) are also excellent ways to expose yourself to more people in general – and more girls.

Take Advantage Of The Weekend

Find things that are happening on the weekend, like festivals or get togethers. Bars, clubs, and even beaches can be great places to go on the weekend because they’re literally packed with people! Don’t just sit around at home on your couch on a Saturday – actually get out there and go somewhere that there are lots of people. You’re bound to meet someone there! Even the mall can be a great place to go – anywhere there are ladies around, that’s where you want to be! It may be nerve wracking at first, especially if you’re not a very social person, but as you continue to put yourself out there, it’s going to become easier and easier and you’re going to become more confident when doing it.

Don’t Be Afraid Of Speed Dating Or A Singles Event

If you live in a larger metropolitan area, chances are, there are lots of speed dating or singles events out there that you can attend. Most guys are a little shy when it comes to doing this type of thing, but there’s really no reason for it. Consider it no harm, no foul. If you meet someone that you really hit it off with, great! If not, you’re not going home any different than when you arrived. It’s also a great way to practice talking to women (which will come into play when you meet a girl you actually have a connection with), so you’re not really leaving empty handed at all. The more exposure you have to being around girls and talking to them, the more comfortable you’re going to be when you actually want to ask a girl out.

Enlist Your Friends

A lot of relationships start by two people meeting through friends. This is actually one of the best dating tips out there, but it’s often overlooked because a lot of guys think that it’s so simple, it can’t possibly work. Well, it can! If you get introduced to a woman through a friend (and you’re a good friend to this person), you’re actually going to come very highly recommended. So while you still want to make sure you’re making an excellent first impression, she’s already going to be thinking good things about you before she meets you. It also helps to be friends with guys who are actually great with the ladies! While it may turn you off a little to consider making friends with someone who is so smooth he gets all the girls, but think of it as a learning opportunity. Watch what he does and how girls respond to it. That is actually a great way to change up your game and start doing things that work!

Also, make friends with girls, even if they’re not necessarily the type you want to date. This is one of the dating tips that is often put on the back burner also, because many guys feel as though if they’re not going to be meeting the girl they could potentially date and have a romantic connection with, why bother? But remember, girls have female friends. And sometimes they’re hot!

Have Confidence And Get Comfortable In Social Situations

One of the best dating tips – if not THE best – is to improve your confidence by getting yourself out there and into social situations. It may feel awkward at first, but it is most definitely going to pay off when you finally meet the girl you want to ask out. If you’re just not ready to get out there yet, consider getting a dating coach. It could be your best friend, or another guy who happens to be really great with the ladies. You can even consider hiring a professional dating coach if you want the best advice. A dating coach can see what you’re doing and come up with a customized plan to help you get more girls in the shortest amount of time possible. Some professional dating coaches can be expensive, but it is well worth it to help you hone your skills so that eventually, YOU can be the suave guy that picks up all the ladies!

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If you’ve racked your brain for days trying to come up with what to say in your online dating profile, you’re not alone. Many men, including myself, have faced this challenge. Luckily for me, I figured out what types of profiles have women checking you out and responding to your messages and which ones make them cringe and get away fast. In this article I will give you some examples of what you want to include in your online dating profile to generate more dates.

Anyone who knows what they’re talking about when it comes to online dating can tell you that you need to stand out in your dating profile, but how exactly do you do that? Mr. Creepy, who talks about his love of bondage in great detail will clearly stand out, but he will have women searching for the block feature on their dating website, instead of responding to his messages.

That’s why it’s important to point out that you must stand out in a positive way. If you do this and say some memorable stuff, you can show women you are a real person and not just a collection of words on a screen. By following the suggestions below, you can also be someone she responds to and eventually agrees to meet.

Write About Your Passions

Writing about something you actually care about in your dating profile will get you much more responses than the same old boring stuff. Now granted, if your passions include something really bizarre like collecting stamps, you might want to consider finding something else you love to talk about. However, the bottom line is if you’re excited about it, it makes it way more interesting for the woman, and you get better responses.

Communicate The Right Things

This includes showing women you:

• Are well adjusted
• Are confident
• Have a busy life with a bunch of things going on in it
• Have a sense of humor

Now, anyone can think of a list of great characteristics and write it in a dating profile, but if it really shines through by the way you write your profile it will be much more effective. For example, stating clearly why you’re on the dating website, what you’re about and what you’re looking for will make you appear confident. So will leaving out any wishy-washy or insecure comments like “I don’t know what to write on this thing.” The effect of confident writing will be much better than simply stating you’re confident.

Write Descriptively

If you ever browse through men’s dating profiles, (and seriously I recommend doing it to know what the online dating competition is doing), you’ll soon feel your head start to involuntarily drop toward your chest as you desperately fight off your body’s desire to nap. That’s because the typical vague list of likes and attributes is excruciatingly boring to read. What’s much better is to take one or two things that really show your personality, and get into more detail about it. For example, if you’re a bit of a chef you can describe some of the things you’ve cooked recently or what you’d like to make soon.

Being more detailed will give a woman an actual vision of who you could really be, which will definitely stand out among the crowd. You don’t even have to do that much with the details to really stand out, because 95% of men’s profiles as about as boring as reading a scientific journal article.

Keep It Light

Remember to keep it positive, light and flirtatious. This doesn’t mean you can’t include anything serious but keep the overall mood light. Keep in mind that this is your first impression. If you were to meet someone out at a bar and they started unloading all this serious stuff about world hunger and their dying cat in the first minute, you’d probably be turned off as well. This is that initial communication. It’s that first minute or two in a bar or a grocery store. If you can effectively keep it light and playful for now, you will probably be someone she wants to get into a relationship with eventually.

Use Appropriate Grammar and Spelling

You may not think it’s that big of a deal, but more women than you would think will instantly ignore your profile if they see you making a mockery of the English language all over your profile. If a woman is really overboard about it, like having a conniption fit because you forgot the apostrophe in the word “it’s,” you’re better off far away from her anyway. Imagine being around her when something actually goes wrong!

However, spelling things right and utilizing the basics of good grammar are still very important to most women, especially when it comes to online dating since all they have to go off of is what they’re reading. So yeah, you need to use all those annoying little periods and commas. A spell check would be a nice touch as well.

So there it is. Be sure to incorporate these dating tips in your online dating profile and I promise you your results will be much better.

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During The Day On Public Transportation

One of the best places to meet women is during the day on public transportation, such as the bus, the train or the subway. This works better if you’re in a large metropolitan area where public transportation is a part of daily life. Most guys who take the bus or subway to work and back sit reading a newspaper, or listening to music, without ever paying attention to what or who is around them. This is a big mistake! Next time you’re using public transportation, take your earbuds out and pay attention! Look for hot girls or ladies that you’d like to meet and get to know. You’ll be surprised – there are many of them!

Also, a woman is less on guard during the day (because she’s not in “dating” mode), so you’re likely to make a much stronger impression on her if you approach her when she’s not expecting it. When you approach a girl in a bar or a club setting at night, she is already on guard and is going to be a lot more selective of who she talks to and hangs out with. She’s more likely to turn you down or ignore you when she’s on guard in a situation like that. During the day, on the bus or train, it’s quieter than in a bar and you’ll be able to actually have a decent conversation and get to know a girl. It’s also more relaxed and friendly, so it requires less effort on your part to be smooth.

Getting Introduced Through Friends

Getting introduced to a girl through friends is a great way to meet someone you can actually have a relationship with. However, you have to be careful with this and make sure your circle of friends are people you actually connect with and who understand you and who you are as a person. This ensures that their friends are actually going to be someone you connect with too. If you currently have a small circle of friends, begin by working to expand that circle and become friends with more people before you start getting introductions to girls. If not, you’re going to build a reputation for being the guy that bounces around and dates everyone’s friends – and before long, no one will want to introduce you to their friends.

At A House Party

A house party is an excellent place to meet girls – the “house party” was pretty much designed specifically for that purpose. If you plan it right, the environment is intimate enough to make a girl feel comfortable but also exciting enough that there’s an edge there that allows you to create sexual tension (which is a must have when you’re flirting and getting to know a girl!) Have one of your friends plan a house party, or host one at your own house! Dating is all about getting out there, making more friends, meeting more people and being more social in general. Dating is a social activity – so if you’re not social, you’re certainly not going to be dating anyone anytime soon. Doing that is going to not only get you more girls, it’s going to get you the kind of girls you want to be with.

Hosting your own house party has it’s benefits, if you have a large enough house. If not, consider renting a party hall or another similar type of location that you can have the party in. Regardless of where you do it, if you’re the host, everyone wants to meet you! So really, if you’re the host of a party (especially if it’s a great party!), girls are going to be coming up to you and wanting to meet you!

Remember that dating is all about being confident and having fun. You’re not just making friends to get more girls, because the process of making and having friends is actually a great thing too, girls or no girls!

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Improving Your Lifestyle

One of the best dating tips is to work on improving your lifestyle before you actively try to meet and date women. The reason for this is if you have a poor lifestyle, you’re not going to attract any women! Start by looking at all the different areas of your life and finding ways to improve them. This in and of itself will attract women!

Have a lifestyle that puts you into contact with people on a daily basis, especially girls. If you never go out or you’re not very social, find some fun places to go or things to do that puts you into contact with new people all the time. Go places, make friends and have fun!

You also want to make sure that your lifestyle is attractive to women – and we’re talking the overall package here.

Build Your Social Circle

Work on making friends and building your social circle. If you’re meeting new people, make an effort to become friends with them. Become happier and more social overall. Develop a passion for meeting and talking to people, and don’t be afraid to show attraction for a woman. Be confident enough to flirt with a girl and create a little bit of sexual tension. This is one of the dating tips that can directly improve your love life! If you’re not at all confident and don’t approach any women or flirt with them in any way, you can hardly expect to get a date.

How To Get Confidence

There’s never going to be a magical moment where you suddenly feel confident and completely comfortable with approaching women. You’re just going to have to get out there and do it! However, after you do it (and continue to do it over and over), each time you’re going to be a little more confident and a little more smooth when you walk up to that next girl.

Things You Don’t Want To Do

• Being too one-dimensionally focused on just picking up girls. You want to keep them too!
• Not caring about making friends or improving yourself
• Being demotivated. Nobody wants to be around a downer.
• Not taking action – you’ve got to get up, get out there and start making this stuff happen! It’s not going to magically happen for you if you’re just sitting around hoping a girl will approach you.
• Not taking risks. You’re not going to get anywhere if you’re not brave enough to take a risk now and then.

Know On The Inside That YOU Are Worth It!

One of the best dating tips of them all (if not THE best) is to know inside that you have a lot to offer. Confidence is everything when it comes to dating and if you don’t believe in yourself and that you have a lot to offer a girl, no one else will either. You’ve got to believe it inside you first, before anyone else will.

Know that you deserve to be with the right girl, and you deserve to have a great relationship. You also deserve to date around and have fun if you like – have enough confidence in yourself to know that the right girl is out there and you will meet her. If you truly believe it inside, that will be all the motivation you need to go out and make this stuff happen for you!

Enjoy The Journey

Sometimes it’s not all about the end result and that goes for dating as well. Life is a journey and you need to enjoy it – every step of the way. Don’t just become a better person so you can get a date, become a better person for yourself. Enjoy the process.

Remember to relax and have fun. Nothing is going to happen right away, or in an instant. But as you improve yourself, you improve what you have to offer a girl. As you do that, more and more women are going to be interested in you! It’s a gradual process, but if you’re enjoying each step of getting there, before you know it, you’re going to be having a great time dating girls or in a blissful, happy long term relationship.

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Confident Women Like Confident Men

Know who you want to be and be that guy. Don’t try to be someone you’re not, and don’t get down on yourself for being who you are. Take pride and have confidence in yourself, because women who are really good looking are confident too. If you believe in the product you’re selling (which is yourself), women are going to want to buy it. You’ve got to believe you have the ability to approach and date ANY woman you want, or it’s just not going to happen. If you truly believe that you have a lot to offer any girl, your confidence will allow you to do just that – and then you’ll have the pick of women in the bar or wherever else you go to meet women!

Any Guy Can Learn To Be Amazing With The Ladies

A common misconception about dating is that if a guy is shy, or is a “nerd” that he can’t be good with women. Quite the opposite is true – ANY guy can learn to be amazing with the ladies. It doesn’t matter whether or not you’re the most attractive guy in the room, because honestly, even some of the best pick up artists aren’t underwear model material (far from it). If you think you’ll never be great with ladies because you’re “average” looking or for any other reason, you’re really only limiting yourself. Shed the negative thinking and have the confidence to know that you CAN learn to be great with women.

Be the cool guy that other people want to hang around. Work on improving yourself and have goals and a game plan. Don’t get caught up in faking it, using the right “pick up lines” or any of those “dating tips” that rarely ever work. It’s all about believing you have something great to offer (because you really do) and knowing that you can have any woman you want!

Stay Away From Anything Weird

Again, you want to stay away from any dating props or cheesy pick up lines. If it’s not authentic, women are going to smell it from a mile away. There are no magic “lines” that will instantly make women attracted to you, nor are is there anything else that will help you ask a girl out. You’ve just got to build that inner confidence and start putting yourself out there!

What you do want to do is be personable – be friendly, funny and be yourself! Don’t try to be a guy that you think women like, because that pretty much never works. Also, don’t be afraid to consider getting a dating coach. People pay personal trainers all the time to help them to work out and lose weight, a dating coach goes along the same lines – you’re having someone help train you to get the women you desire! If you don’t want a professional, enlist one of your friends (that also happens to be good with women) to help you through the process.

Focus On Being A “10″ Yourself

While looks certainly aren’t everything, if you consider yourself to be a “3,” you’re never going to get the hottest woman. So implement a game plan that allows you to work towards becoming the kind of guy that other women see as a “10.”

Have Fun Dating

It’s not always about “getting the number” or meeting the woman you’re going to have a long term relationship with or even marry. Have fun dating and meeting new people – it doesn’t always have to go somewhere. Also, don’t focus so much on meeting women, but also meeting new people in general – make new friends and find people who have similar goals. If you currently have friends that aren’t supporting you or are bringing you down, it may be time to get them out of your life and make friends that help lift you up and help you meet your goals.

Finally, you want to make the decision to become good at dating. Make the command decision to learn what you need to do to become more confident with the ladies and just do it. Put yourself out there and if you have the confidence, chicks who are a “10″ will flock to you!

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If you ask your friend out and they don’t feel the same way as you, you risk ruining the friendship because things will be different after you let them know you have romantic feelings towards them. It’s better to know (for the most part) if you and your friend are actually more than that – so how can you tell if you and your “friend” should start REALLY dating?

She’s Going To Want To Spend Time With You

If the girl you’re interested in has romantic feelings for you too, she’s going to want to spend as much time with you as possible. She’s going to make excuses to see you and be around you.

She’s Going To Be Okay If The Conversation Turns Sexual

If she’s into you, she’s not going to shy away if the conversation turns towards sex. If she’s not and just wants to be your friend, she’s going to shy away from sexual conversation and stick to topics that are completely platonic. So test her out and bring up a topic that is just a little sexual to see how she reacts – does she shy away from the conversation or does she actively participate in it? If she actively participates in a sexual conversation – and even takes it a little further – it’s a safe bet that she digs you.

You Will Feel It

The energy with friends isn’t the same as the energy you feel when you have an actual connection with someone. If you’ve ever felt that feeling before, you know exactly what it is – there’s no mistaking it. Guys who have never had this connection with someone may not be sure how it feels – but rest assured that you really will know when you do feel it. Pay attention and be looking for that – if you’re not experiencing that real connection, you’re most likely really just friends.

Is She Into The Next Step?

To find out if the girl you like is into taking the next step with you, you have to realize it’s not all about what she says. You have to pay attention to her body language, because she may not be saying anything that lets you know she’s into you at all. Her body language will, however, tell you whether she’s digging you or not. If she is, she’s going to make excuses to get in your space, making eye contact with you and laughing and having a good time with you. Here are some easy ways to tell if she’s ready for you to make the next move.

• She starts dropping hints for you to make a move
• When you flirt or are being playful, she reciprocates and shares in the witty banter
• She opens up and seems to want to talk about more personal topics
• She’s happy to see you or talk to you
• She finds excuses to touch you or brush up against you
• When you touch her, she doesn’t back away – she may even lean closer to you

Don’t Wait Too Long!

If you feel that energy and everything seems to be lining up, don’t wait too long to make a move. Just make it! Ask her out! Don’t wonder whether she’s really into you or not, or second guess yourself. So many guys second guess themselves so much that the girl they like – and who likes them back – thinks that he’s not interested in her! If you feel that romantic connection, go for it! If you wait too long to ask a girl out, you may end up missing the moment entirely.

Relax And Have Fun

If you’re so keyed up and worried about figuring out whether a girl likes you back or not, you may miss key signs that she really does like you. You definitely want to be aware of those signs so you can make the next move if you sense she’s into you too. So take a deep breath and relax! Have confidence that you’ll know when things feel right and that she’ll give you plenty of signs to lead you in the right direction. Have fun and wait for that special connection to happen!

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It Doesn’t Have To Be That Big

A woman’s g-spot is actually only about 2 inches into her vagina – therefore, the myth that men have to have a huge penis to give a woman an orgasm is just that – a myth. A penis can be satisfying to a woman and cause g-spot orgasms if it’s over 3″ long, however, the average penis size is about 5 inches. So in reality, most men are able to satisfy a woman with the equipment they’ve got.

A Prominent “Ridge”

Many girls will favor a prominent ridge where the head meets the shaft. If you follow this ridge around to the underside, you will see it curve upwards into an upside down “V.” When the shaft is erect, this ridge can get very swollen and when it is prominent, it will “catch” on the g-spot and stimulate it during sex. The ridge is much more prominent in circumcised men than uncircumcised men, because the foreskin that covers the head has been removed.

A Wide Head

Again, the head is where it’s at for a woman. This is what will stimulate her g-spot during sex and give her incredible orgasms. Although her g-spot isn’t very big, the wider the head of your penis is, the more it will rub up against it and stimulate it.

A Thick Shaft

The outside of the vagina, at the opening, is also a very sensitive area. You may have seen the rabbit style vibrators with the rotating beads – those are designed to massage and stimulate those sensitive nerves at the vaginal opening. If your penis is very thin, you’re not going to be able to rub up against the walls of her vagina very well. However, if you have a thicker shaft, you will automatically be causing friction and stimulating those hot spots.

If your penis is thin, it’s not the end of the world. Your sexual technique can compensate for it. Simply thrust your penis in a circular motion during sex instead of the straight in-and-out. It may take some practice to get this technique down pat, but it is well worth it. When doing using this technique, you’re going to rub up against every side of her vaginal walls, right where those pleasure spots are.

Slight Upward Curve

The g-spot is located on the top wall of the vagina, on the stomach side – not the butt side. So if your penis has a slight upward curve, it’s simply going to hit the g-spot even better. If your penis goes straight out, that’s not bad either. If your penis curves downward, you may want to experiment with different sex positions to find a way to stimulate her g-spot with your penis.

Doggy style is actually an excellent sex position to try if you want to stimulate her g-spot but your penis curves downwards. Some men have a penis that curves slightly to the left or right – this usually does not affect a woman sexually, unless you are long enough to stimulate her AFE Zone, which is much farther back than the g-spot.

Confidence (And Sexual Skill) Makes A Difference

No matter what your penis looks like, a girl isn’t going to get off with a weak, wimpy guy unless she has a dominant personality and that’s really her thing. Most women want to have sex with a guy that is confident in bed, confident about his body and confident that he can please a woman sexually. She doesn’t always want him asking permission to do everything. A girl wants to get down and dirty with an alpha male – no matter what his junk looks like.

Learn to work with what you’ve got. Study the female anatomy and learn where all the hot spots are. Learn different sex positions to use that help your anatomy mesh well with a woman’s. If you just don’t think you have a penis that will please a woman, brush up on your oral sex skills. Learn to give a woman squirting orgasms through oral sex and fingering and it’s almost guaranteed that she’s not going to care about your penis size, shape or color at all.

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Question: I have this question that is quite funny, you could say but its ridiculous also. Do girls like men with hair or prefer no hair? By hair, I dont mean on the head – I mean on the stomach, chest, back, legs and butt! Please help!

–YouTube Viewer

It’s All About Personal Preference

Everyone has different preferences when it comes to sex, and that includes the type of people you are sexually attracted to. Some women like other women, others like men, some enjoy g-spot stimulation, others enjoy clitoral orgasms. Still others like their men clean shaven while some women don’t mind if he’s covered in hair and looks like a sasquatch. In fact, she may just take a picture of him on their next camping trip and sell it to the tabloids claiming she’s found evidence of Bigfoot!

Whether a woman prefers hair on a man or not is entirely up to her personal preferences. There are women out there that hate hairy men, while many women like it or don’t care at all. In fact, many celebrities and characters in movies have promoted the hairy, “wolfy” look.

Finding Someone Compatible With You

If you don’t want to shave completely, for whatever reason, try to find someone who is compatible with you. Find someone that doesn’t mind a lot of body hair, or even better, a woman who is extremely turned on by it! Yes, there are women who feel like the hairier a guy is, the better. It’s all about finding someone who is compatible with what you like during sex and in a relationship, and is wants or needs what you have to offer.

Nobody Wants To Wade Through A Bush For Oral Sex

That said, there really are very few people that want to wade through a bush to give their partner oral sex, regardless of whether it’s a man or woman. While shaving down there can be painful for some fellas – especially for men who have very curly hair and are prone to ingrown hairs – it’s important not to overwhelm your lover with a face full of pubes. Also, completely shaving the genital area if you’re very hairy all over can look really weird. Another benefit to at least some kind of pubic hair maintenance is that the shorter the hair, the bigger the penis looks.

Grooming Options

Shaving is one option, but again, if you have hair all over your body, it’s going to look really strange if your penis and the surrounding area is completely bald. In this case – or if you just hate shaving – a nice trim is in order. While there are genital trimmers available on the market, there are several types of trimmers that will work well.

A hair trimmer with attachments that vary in length is something that almost every guy owns, and allows you to trim very close or leave yourself a little bit of length. A beard and mustache trimmer will work even better, because it’s smaller and easier to use on delicate areas.

Should You Change The Way You Look For A Girl?

If you really hate to shave, or if it hurts, don’t change the way you look or who you are for a girl. If you’re a man with a lot of body hair that is either dating, having sex or in a relationship with a woman who absolutely detests body hair, you probably weren’t a good match with her to begin with. You shouldn’t start shaving your entire body, or change who you are or what you look like just because she doesn’t like body hair. There are plenty of women out there that do.

This goes back to having enough confidence in yourself to not care so much what others think of you and being happy with who you are as a person and what you look like. If shaving yourself completely bald down there or all over makes you happy, go for it! Find someone who likes no body hair at all. If you don’t like to shave and enjoy having hair (it does keep a man warmer, after all), so be it! There IS someone out there that you’re compatible with.

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Have A Strong Identity

The importance of having confidence in who you are and having a strong identity can’t be emphasized enough here. Think of yourself as the “product” and you’re “selling” this product to women – do you believe in what you’re selling? Do you like what you’re selling and do you think it’s a great product? If you don’t like what you’re selling, no one else will either!

Learn to get comfortable with who you are and what you have to offer. This will not only help attract women to you, it will also help you to know more about the kind of women that you could possibly have great chemistry with. Focus on being fun, energetic and exciting for others to be around – you want to be the kind of guy that has lots of friends that truly enjoy hanging out and having great conversations.

You also want to find your strengths and accentuate them. You don’t want to be the kind of guy that blends in with everyone else, because then girls aren’t going to notice you at all! You want to find what is unique about yourself and show that off. If you stand out from the crowd a little bit because of something that is special about you, that’s a good thing!

Learn How To Be Comfortable In Social Situations

No girl has a “dream guy” that sits in the corner at a party and doesn’t talk to anyone. Girls want a man who is passionate, has things to talk about and wants to talk about them with other people. So if you’re not comfortable in large groups or in social situations, you want to work on this. Practice makes perfect, so put yourself out there. The more you expose yourself to social situations, the more comfortable you will begin to be in them. As you do this, your self confidence will soar!

Be Someone She Can Be Proud Of

This is perhaps one of the best bits of dating advice out there. While women can and will fall in love with guys who they can’t be proud of, you don’t want this to be you! If you really want a girl to fall for you, you’ve got to be someone she can be proud to introduce to her friends and family. You want to be someone she can bring up in a conversation, rather than the topic she’s trying to avoid in a conversation.

Have an awesome job, volunteer or do things that you’re passionate about. Have short term and long term goals, and don’t be afraid to tell people about what you’re striving for. She will see and admire the things that you love doing that make you who you are – and this is what she will brag about to her friends and family when she is dating you!

Get Comfortable Being Romantic And Sensual

Women love sensuality and romance, period. If you can’t bring this to the table, it’s not likely you’re going to be any girl’s fantasy. Get comfortable with showing women affection, touching them and kissing them. When you kiss a woman, make it something that she remembers! If you don’t know how to be romantic or sensual with a woman, read up on seduction tips and how to really be intimate with a girl.

With physical intimacy comes emotional intimacy, so you don’t want to wall yourself of emotionally. Get comfortable with experiencing your feelings, talking about them and being in touch with your emotions. Don’t be afraid to open up to a girl and let her see that you’re a little emotionally vulnerable. Yes, you’re taking the risk of getting hurt here, but ultimately, this is the piece of dating advice that will get her to fall head over heels for you.

Develop A Posture And Presence That Women Want To Be Around

Girls want to be around that strong, confident guy. They don’t want to be around a weak, wimpy guy that asks permission for everything. Learn to make decisions about date ideas, where to go and what to do. Let a girl know that she doesn’t have to worry about things when she’s with you. Show her that you’re the alpha male – and she’ll be putty in your hands.

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Focus On Becoming More Attractive Every Day

Attractiveness isn’t just about how you look – it’s about how you feel on the inside. How you feel about yourself shows up on the outside, and people read into that. If you’re down on yourself or don’t have self confidence, it’s going to be written all over your face. If you want to be attractive to women, you have to have confidence and strength on the inside.

Becoming more confident in yourself and feeling great about who you are as a person doesn’t come overnight, especially if you’ve never had good self esteem. It will take time, but focus on becoming confident and secure with who you are a little more each day. Turn yourself into someone who isn’t afraid to go after what they want, instead of sitting back on the sidelines and watching life go by. Have passions in your life and things you care about. Have goals and work towards them each day.

Believe That You Don’t Need A Girl To Be Happy

The less you “need” a woman in your life, the less you will give off that needy, clingy vibe. You will automatically begin to attract more women, simply because you have that confidence to go home alone if there’s no one that catches your eye. Know that you can be happy within yourself – it’s a choice you have to make and when you do, it will totally change your life. Really believe that you can be happy by yourself and that you don’t need someone else to be the source of your satisfaction in life.

When you have things in your life that you enjoy doing – that you don’t need a woman for – and that you’re truly passionate about, people are going to want to be a part of that. When you exude confidence and happiness all the time, people are going to want to be around you, especially women. They all want a piece of that! Make an effort to increase your self esteem and know that you are happy with who you are, without a girl. Then, instead of trying to be someone that a woman will like, you can find one that is the right match for YOU.

Don’t Get Stuck On One Woman

A lot of guys get stuck in a crush and think that this is the only girl that will ever make them happy. They obsess over this one girl, and don’t make any room for other women that might be a better match. When you learn to be happy without women, it will be easier to know that the right one will eventually come to you. You’ll have the confidence to know that if a particular woman you like doesn’t feel the same way about you, it’s not the end of the world – you’ll end up with someone who is an even better fit with you.

How Do You Get The Right One To Chase You?

Believe it or not, it’s not difficult to get a woman you like to chase you. It is, however, the opposite of what most men try to do when they meet a girl they like. When most guys meet awoman they like, they go after her hard, flirting up a storm and making it completely obvious what he wants. This approach, however, will turn most women off. To get a girl to chase you is simple – let her see you around other attractive women! Talk to other women, be flirting with them and having fun.

There’s really nothing that will get a woman more interested in you and want to chase you than a little friendly competition! Take advantage of that, but don’t go overboard with it. Once you and a woman establish that you’re really into each other, you want to be focused on her.

Once you’ve gotten things right on the inside and are the fun, exciting, happy, confident and kind guy that everyone wants to be around, she’s not going to be able to stop herself from liking you!

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4. Men, What Does Your Style Say About You? (Part 1)
5. 5 Ways to Turn Your Bedroom Into a Sex Magnet

Body Language Makes Up The Majority Of Our Communication

Believe it or not, words do not make up the majority of our communication with other people – body language does. Even when you’re talking about something to someone, if your body language is coming off as something different, the person you’re talking to is going to pay much more attention to that than the words coming out of your mouth.

When talking to women, it’s not about the pick up line or what you say, because you communicate so much more non-verbally. To successfully attract women, you want to be able to understand how people read body language and you want to make sure you’re able to use it to your advantage to convey the right message to women you’re attracted to.

Posture Is Key

Your posture is the first thing any girl is going to notice about you. Are you slumped over, looking like you’re not interested in talking to anyone and you’re hiding in your own little world, or are you standing tall, looking confident and conversing with the people around you? If you have poor posture, the first thing you want to do is consciously work on standing taller, with your shoulders back and your head up. You want to have an air of confidence about you that is immediately noticeable just by the way you carry yourself.

One good way to improve your posture is to work out regularly and strengthen your core muscles. If your core muscles are weak, they’re not going to be able to hold you up very well and you’ll be more tempted to slump over. If you work out regularly, you’re going to stand taller, walk straighter and appear more confident overall.

Make Eye Contact

Lots of guys don’t make eye contact with girls when they’re flirting simply because they’re nervous. Being nervous when talking to girls is normal, but you really want to make eye contact. There’s a reason people say that the “eyes are windows to the soul” because you can communicate so much with someone non-verbally just by looking into their eyes for a few seconds. Practice making eye contact with other people when speaking, at work or with your friends. Get comfortable looking people in the eyes in general. Then, when you meet that girl you’re really interested in, you can make eye contact with her comfortably.

Be Upbeat And Positive

Having an upbeat and positive attitude is key to attracting girls. If you’re stiff, aren’t talking to people or are being a downer, no girl is going to want to talk to you or flirt with you. However, if you’re happy, having a great conversation with those around you and look like you’re positive and confident, you’re going to draw people into your world. Girls naturally gravitate towards happy and optimistic guys, so you definitely want to be that guy.

Be An Alpha Male

Having strength and confidence usually means being an alpha male – the guy who stands out from the pack, so to speak. Being an alpha male doesn’t mean that you’re aggressive and treat women badly, it simply means being strong and confident enough to stand out from the rest of the guys around you. Ladies automatically look for the alpha male in a group of guys – so be that guy!

Portray yourself as being self-assured and having a high self esteem. Don’t be cocky, but you also don’t want to look like you’re nervous, weak or wimpy. Girls aren’t going to be attracted to you if you look like you’re a wimp who doesn’t know how to talk to a girl. An alpha male is strong, confident and sure of himself and his ability to converse with girls. He’s not afraid of making a mistake, because if he does, he’ll laugh it off. He shows confident body language and looks approachable.

Practice!

Practice putting yourself out there and practice being an alpha male. Gradually build your self confidence over time and people will begin to see that change in you and begin to perceive you as the person you’re trying to be – a better, stronger, more confident you!

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Have Fun And Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

The ultimate key to flirting is to remember to relax, have fun and to not take yourself too seriously. If you’re stressed out and worried about flubbing your ” pick up lines,” you are going to flub up your lines. If you relax, take a deep breath and focus on just creating a great conversation with a girl without “lines,” you might actually have a shot.

Also, you want to adjust your tone of voice and your laughter to appear more fun and approachable. Don’t speak in a monotone voice – instead, be optimistic and let it show through in the way you speak. Also get more comfortable with laughing on demand. It may seem awkward at first when you’re still learning how to be in social situations, but it will eventually become second nature. The thing is, as you relax and learn to have fun naturally in dating situations, these things will come to you with less and less effort.

Remember to keep open body language so you look and feel approachable to women. Your body language speaks volumes about you before you even open your mouth to say a word. If you’re standing over in the corner with your arms crossed, not a single girl is going to approach you to ask if you want to dance, what your name is or anything else. Make sure your body language says that you want to be approached!

Add Gentle Touching

Gentle touching is a great way to take flirting to the next level if the girl you’re talking to is receptive to it, and if you do it right. This is not manhandling – you don’t want to grab her roughly or take her by surprise with your touch in any way. Lightly touching her arm at the right time will send shivers down her spine, and brushing her hair out of her face while she’s laughing will get her making deep eye contact with you.

Think of flirting as a game of tennis – you hit the ball, and then it’s in their court. It’s time for them to hit the ball back. This is how that fun, witty banter escalates, and you definitely want to get that witty banter going. A little teasing, a smile and some light touching gets her interested and gets you in her personal space, which is where you want to be. If she’s comfortable with you in her space, you can take flirting even further.

Get A Phone Number

You often don’t have a lot of time to ask a girl out – you might only have a lull in between songs when the band is taking a break, or her girlfriends may pull her away to dance or go do something else. If you want her phone number, you’re going to have to ask for it and soon. So as soon as you feel that chemistry building, ask for the number! Ask if you can text her (girls are more willing to give their numbers out if they think you’re going to text them before calling) or at the very least, see if you can look her up on Facebook. When that chemistry starts building, you want to lock in that phone number or a way to contact her before you lose your chance.

How To Start The Conversation

Starting a conversation with a girl can be intimidating – it takes a lot of confidence and self esteem to approach someone and start talking to them, especially if you don’t know them very well or at all. Here are some things you can say to get that conversation started:

“Wow! You are so confident! Where does that come from?”

“You seem so passionate! What is it that motivates you?”

You can also introduce yourself and ask her name, but don’t get stuck on it. A lot of girls are very leery about giving their names out up front and honestly, the name doesn’t even really matter unless you’ve got that connection going. Wait until you hit it off to ask her who she is.

Remember That Less Is More

Jumping right into flirting may not be your best bet. Girls are receptive to different things at different times. Depending on how she feels or what is going on around her, she may not be receptive to strong flirting right away. Judging a situation and whether a girl will be receptive to your approach or not will come with time and practice – you may not be able to tell very well when you first start playing the dating game, but as you do it more and more often, you’ll get a knack for feeling it out.

While it’s fun to take risks and play the dating game, you also want to take your time with it. Don’t rush through it. Enjoy the flirting phase and enjoy feeling the chemistry build. If you rush through the process, you may get to kiss her or even more, but you can’t ever go back to that fun flirting phase where everything feels new. So take your time with it, relax and have fun!

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Don’t Be A Boring Boyfriend

Girls want a guy who knows how to have fun. Don’t be boring – strive to plan fun, exciting things for you and your girl to go out and do. Don’t just sit at home on the couch eating take-out and watching movies or playing video games. While staying in and eating bad Chinese food in front of a DVD marathon is really fun every once in awhile, it’s not something she wants to do all the time.

Plan ways you can show her a great time, whether it’s taking her out to a new restaurant or club you’ve never been to before, or doing something really adventurous like rock climbing or horseback riding. Making her feel great by getting out and doing things (and showing her that you’re interested in doing things with her) is one of the best ways to prove that you’re a great partner – and not boring at all. Also, learn how to carry on a great conversation and engage your partner mentally. Women are so emotion and mind oriented that if you learn how to give her mental and emotional stimulation often, she will really love spending time with you no matter what you’re doing.

Be Someone That She Can Be Proud Of

Yes, there are many girls that will fall for a bum. But most of them won’t. If they do, you can pretty much bet that before long, she’s going to get tired of you and move on to someone else. Instead of letting that happen, be someone she can really be proud of. Be someone that she can tell her friends and family about. Be a motivated, confident, ambitious and energetic guy!

Have a job or other things going on in your life that she can tell other people about, such as a killer position at a popular company in your city, or volunteering as a firefighter for the local fire department. No matter what you choose to do, make sure you’re actually doing something and not nothing, and that it’s something your girl can brag a little about!

You also want to have things of your own that you’re doing that don’t always involve her. Have fun with your guy friends! Don’t be too clingy or suffocating, because if you are, your relationship won’t last long. Have things that you love and are passionate about in your life that don’t necessarily have anything to do with your girlfriend at all. Encourage her to go out and spend time with her girl friends and you do the same!

Value Your Time Together

Too many guys out there take their partners for granted when they’re in a relationship. They may rush through the dating process to have sex, or they may just get so comfortable with their partner that they take for granted any time spent with them. Don’t be that guy! Make sure that you take the dating process step by step, and enjoy each different phase of your relationship. When you’re on a date with your partner, make sure that you are fully present and that you’re engaging your partner in conversation. You want to be paying attention to her, not the game on the TV behind the bar or the cute waitress.

Also, show your partner that you really value her by making her feel sexy. Compliment the outfit she’s wearing and tell her that she’s beautiful. Take her on dates that allow her to dress up and do her hair, so she feels sexy and beautiful when she’s around you. If you’re always hanging around the house and she never gets the chance to get out of her sweatpants or put her makeup on, she’s not going to feel good about herself at all. When you touch her, tell her how soft her skin is or how nice her curves are against you. Make her feel like a million bucks!

Develop A Close Connection With Her

Don’t wall yourself off from your partner emotionally. Women speak the language of emotion, so if you’re a robot with her, she’s not going to be interested in you for long. Let your guard down some and make yourself a little vulnerable to her. Share how you’re feeling about her and about other things, and respond to the things she’s feeling when she tells you about them.

Work on developing a close connection with your partner and when you do achieve that level of emotional intimacy in your relationship, everything is going to be better. Sex is better when you’re really close with someone, and life is better in general when you have someone you can share those intimate details with.

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Psychological Excitement – Not Just Physical Excitement

A woman is multi-sensory during sex – she doesn’t just want to feel what you’re doing, she wants to think about it, hear it, see it, and imagine what you’re going to do next. A woman uses her brain during sex more than anything else, so if you neglect to stimulate her mind and her imagination when you’re getting it on, you’re not going to get very far.

While girls do appreciate good technique, you can’t skate by on technique alone. If you’re totally “blah” in bed and don’t get her mind, soul, body, emotions and imagination going when you’re getting busy, it’s not going to matter if you can touch her clitoris exactly the right way. She’s not going to be able to reach orgasm if her mind isn’t adequately stimulated.

What Energies A Woman Wants To Feel

Because a woman’s emotions are so deeply involved in sex, it’s important to have the right energy when you slip between the sheets. If you have a weak energy about you – as though you’re going to ask permission to do what you want to her – she’s not going to get turned on at all. These are some things that girls really want to feel when bumping uglies:

Dominance

A woman wants to feel as though she’s with a man who is dominant. She wants to feel like he will take control of the situation if need be, and that he has the confidence to give her pleasure. Having dominance doesn’t necessarily refer to domination like in BDSM, but rather, just a man having a dominant energy and attitude about him. Make her feel like you’re the alpha male!

Variety

Girls also don’t want to do the same thing over and over when they have sex. They want variety, just like anyone else does. You may know just the right techniques but if you do them again and again, they’re going to get old after awhile. Take the time to research new techniques and try them out.

Don’t assume that because you’re good at sex and can give a girl an orgasm that you’re beyond having to hit the books to learn something new – that’s every man’s downfall. Read up on new ways to pleasure your partner and see what works and what doesn’t! She’ll love that you’re adventurous enough to bring something new to the table!

Emotion

Girls are emotional creatures – emotions govern their lives, from what they do to what they wear, what they eat and where they go. It makes sense that emotions govern a woman’s pleasure during sex as well. A woman doesn’t want to get it on with a robot – if you’re incapable of showing emotion when getting busy, your partner will get bored pretty quickly.

Instead, allow the emotions you’re feeling come through. If something feels great, don’t be afraid to say something or even just moan. Don’t be too quiet! Also, dirty talk is a great way to engage her brain during sex. It lets her know that you’re really enjoying what’s happening while also turning her on even more.

After Sex Play

You’ve heard the joke about how all men do after sex is roll over and go to sleep – unfortunately, many men actually do this! They may get up and get a drink or have a smoke afterwards, but when it’s over for a guy, it’s over. However, it’s completely different for a woman. A woman is emotionally geared up after sex – she feels intimate with you and emotionally connected to you. She may want to cuddle or talk, but she probably won’t roll over and go to sleep.

If you emotionally unplug from your partner after orgasm and go do something else, she’s going to feel disconnected from you. Even if she had an orgasm (or two or three), if she doesn’t get that emotional follow up after sex, it’s not going to end well for her. It may even discount the whole experience!

Take some time when you’re done knocking boots to stay connected with her emotionally. Lay by her side and listen to her breathe. Touch her softly and cuddle with her. Even if you can only stay awake for just a few minutes, if you’re cuddling and bonding with your partner, it will make all the difference in the world. It will also increase your chances of getting busy – and not masturbating alone – next time!

They Want Orgasms!

Girls want orgasms during sex. While it is possible for a woman to enjoy it without reaching climax, it’s just a lot better for both you and your partner if you can help her reach her peak. If a girl never has an orgasm, she’s going to feel like having sex with you is a “job” and there’s really no point in doing it at all. That’s when a guy will notice his sex life start to wane – she’s not going to get busy with you if she can’t reach orgasm.

Practice your technique and communicate with your partner about what feels good and what doesn’t. Let her know that you genuinely want to please her and need some feedback on what she likes and what she doesn’t. If your partner is having problems with reaching orgasm and it’s not happening very often or at all regardless of what you do, visit a doctor and rule out any medical issues. Explore ways to make sure your partner is enjoying sex as much as you are.

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I’m a guy trying online dating. It’s not working for me. What can I do to pimp my profile?

What She Said:

I’m a throwback to the olden (golden) days when I saw a guy in a club, batted my eyelashes and waited him for to come over and chat me up. And now I’m a married lady who doesn’t need that, so I’m relatively unfamiliar with the online dating world. But, that’s me and this is about you!

How to pimp your online dating profile? Think like the gender you’re trying to attract. For example: if you want to attract girls, you might want to put things in your profile that appeal to them. This doesn’t mean resorting to schmaltzy “I like puppies and long walks on the beach.” It does mean truthfully highlighting qualities you think a date might enjoy. Are you a foodie? Mention your love of fine dining and a few of your favorite restaurants. Are you game to watch a romantic comedy or two? Throw out your favorite titles – don’t be afraid!

Humor is also a great approach. Showing a sense of fun means you’re at ease with yourself and that you’re open and relaxed. Dating can be stressful enough – no need to take it (or yourself) too seriously!

What sets you apart? Your unique interests will not only stand out, they might also help you nab the perfect date. The key is to be honest. I know honesty and the Internet don’t necessarily go hand in hand – but this is your life. Assuming you’re truly looking for a date and not a booty call, telling the truth will help steer someone your direction who has the potential to be your perfect match.

What He Said

It comes down to this: if you want a 10, why should she choose you? She’s got tons of options. She’s obviously not into the bar thing, because if she was, she wouldn’t be online. You’re selling a product, and that product is you. But if you look at effective marketing campaigns, they don’t sell a product, they sell a feeling. How is this product going to make me feel if I buy it? That’s essentially what your ad should convey. You shouldn’t lie. You shouldn’t embellish. You shouldn’t be yourself. You should be your best, most confident self.

Be who you are and be proud and let them get an accurate picture of who and what you are. Be funny, be fun. You can’t really make anyone choose you. But you can make an incredibly compelling offer that anyone in their right mind would be unable to refuse.

How will you know if you’ve done that? Well, if you get emails and dates, etc. If you email a bunch of women and your emails get crickets in response, then you need to do something different. Continue to experiment until you have found the desired result. And be patient. That might take a while. And don’t take anything personally. It’s not like they’re rejecting you, they’re rejecting a representation of you. And if that representation isn’t working, just change it and continue to tweak until it does.

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There’s No Magic Formula

When it comes to dating or getting a girl to fall in love with you, there’s no magic formula that will garner you success every time. You’re going to strike out some of the time, and you’re probably not going to meet the girl you’re going to marry right away. However, there are some things you can do to tip the scales in your favor!

Be The Best “You” That You Can Possibly Be

Many guys focus too much on “getting the right girl” or even just getting a girl to give out a phone number that they forget that girls are actually looking at what they’re bringing to the table. You may have the smoothest pick up lines, but if it’s all a front and you’re faking it, you’re not going to get very far at all. You have to be real and genuine, and have enough confidence to know that you’re a catch.

If you’re not a catch, work on improving yourself. Look at what you’re bringing to the table and see if it needs improvement. Do you have a crappy job that you hate or no job at all? Try to find a job that utilizes your skills and that you love. Go back to school if you need to.

Look at your physical health as well. Are you healthy? Do you need to lose weight or tone up? Would you feel better if you did? What about your mental health? Are you in a positive place in your life? Do what you can to make your body and mind healthy – not only will you look better to women, you’ll feel better too and that will come off in your attitude and demeanor.

Instead of trying to convince a girl to go out with you when dating, approach it a little differently. Be the best possible “you” that you can be, whether it’s finding a new job that makes you happy, taking up hobbies that relieve stress or losing weight and getting fit, moving towards the positive in life will put you in the perfect place to meet the right woman.

Never Give Up Your Values

Too many guys try to be the person they think a girl wants – and they change it up depending on what type of girl they’re dating. These guys almost never get women! First of all, a girl can’t tell who a man really is and what he stands for if he’s always changing it – because let’s face it, if a man is always changing his values, attitude and standards, it’s not likely he even knows who he is and what he stands for.
Develop your own morals and values, and stick to them throughout your dating experiences. You will attract women who are compatible with the real you, instead of women who you have to “make” yourself be compatible with. Learn to love yourself for who you really are, and let that confidence in yourself show through.

Don’t Play Games With Women

Have enough respect for a woman – and yourself – to be real with her. Be yourself. Take the risk and put yourself out there – because ultimately, that’s what you want. You want to meet a woman who is your true match and who you are compatible with. If you’re not putting the real you out there and are playing games, you’re either going to meet someone you’re really not compatible with or you’re going to meet a woman who is playing games with you.

Have A Magnetic, Positive Energy

Girls are attracted to men who are positive, magnetic, confident and fun to be around. Guys who are down in the dumps all the time aren’t going to get very many girls. Make sure that when you meet a girl, you’re putting off the right vibe. Be positive, tell funny jokes and listen to what she has to say. Get her laughing and make sure you yourself are laughing. Women will flock to you if you put off that magnetic energy.

Treat A Woman Well

While some girls like the the “bad boy type” type, that usually never lasts very long. If you want to snag the girl of your dreams, you need to learn to treat women well. Treat all women with respect – if you’re with her, support her and encourage her to do the things she loves to do and is passionate about. Don’t criticize women or cut them down. Make her feel great about herself and she’ll fall for you!

Compliment her and build up her self-esteem. Don’t assume that because you told her she’s beautiful one time that she knows you think she’s beautiful and you never have to say it again. If you’re thinking it, say it! Compliment her skills and things that she’s accomplished. Be proud of her.

Make Her Feel Like The Only Girl In The World For You!

All women want to feel loved and feel special to their partners. They also want to feel like they’re the only girl who can ever make you feel the way she makes you feel. So make sure she believes it! Make her feel like she’s the only one for you and you’ll have her falling head over heels.

Learn To Be A More Charismatic Person

Technique is important – and technique is learned, it’s not something that comes naturally. Take some time to learn how to be a more magnetic, charismatic person. Get out there and practice meeting women. Consider working with a dating coach. You’re not going to be completely comfortable introducing yourself and talking to women the first few times you do it, but the more you practice, the better you’ll get.

Even getting out there and just developing friendships with other people will help a man get comfortable talking to women – often, men who are uncomfortable talking to women are actually uncomfortable talking to people in general.

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Things To Consider Before The Kiss

Many guys fail to plan for a kiss, either because they know they’re too nervous to initiate the kiss, or they just don’t think the girl will want to kiss them. Either way, these guys end up getting stuck right before the kiss worrying about their breath because they just ate hot wings and didn’t bring mints, or because their lips are chapped and aren’t soft enough for a good kiss. Don’t be one of those guys – make sure you are prepared for a kiss before you actually get one by assuming you will get one!

Good Dental Hygiene

This one may seem like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised at just how many guys think they can get away without brushing their teeth, using floss and mouthwash or not using gum or mints after they’ve eaten something pungent like onions or garlic. Making sure that your mouth is fresh and clean at all times is the first thing you should do to prepare for kiss. Heck, bring a toothbrush with you if you have to!

Smell Good

Women are attracted to scent. Make sure you carry mints or breath freshener with you, and also wear deodorant that works. Make sure you also chose a cologne that isn’t too overpowering but that also compliments your natural pheromones. If you need help with that, get a friend that is a girl to go cologne shopping with you!

Have A Confident, Masculine Energy About You

Women are attracted to confidence as well. If you act like a wimpy guy who needs her “permission” before going any farther, she’s not going to look twice at you. Convey an energy of confidence and masculinity. Don’t ask if you can buy her a drink – wait until she’s nearly finished with hers and order another for her.

Get In Her Space

A girl probably isn’t going to go out of her way to kiss you. So get in her space – make sure she knows you’re there. Make eye contact with her and touch her lightly on the arm. Flirt with her and get her laughing and interested in what you’re saying. Make sure you ignite that emotional spark she needs to want to get closer to you.

Try scooting your chair a little closer to her or brushing past her on your way to the bar or restroom. See how she reacts to you getting in her space. If she seems to welcome it, that’s your cue to take it a little farther.

Be A Little Touchy-Feely

No, you don’t need to feel your date up. But you do want to get a little closer to her and start touching her when she seems like she’s ready for it. Touch her hair or stroke her cheek gently. Place your hand on her thigh as she’s speaking to you or telling you a joke or story. Hold hands with her – women love hand holding!

Get her to notice your mouth and start thinking about kissing you by licking your lips. Don’t bite your lips if you’re a guy – that’s generally going to make you look a little foolish! Girls can get away with it, but guys? No way. Drink your drink slowly, or through a straw. Whatever you can do to get your date to start noticing your mouth is a great way to get her started thinking about kissing you.

Don’t Be Afraid To Make The First Move

This goes back to having that strong, confident, masculine energy about you. Don’t appear too weak or wimpy by not being able or willing to make the first move. Whether you actually make the first move or not is irrelevant – she will sense that you’re into her and will make a move on her as soon as you get a clear window. She may very well beat you to it!

Go In Strong And Smooth

If you do end up making the first move, don’t sweat it. Be confident about it. Go in smoothly, and don’t make any sudden moves. You don’t want to bump heads or end up kissing her nose, do you? Find out if she wants to take it to the next level by leaning in part of the way and putting yourself in her space, and waiting for her to meet you halfway. Does she lean in for the kiss too, or does she pull away?

If It Doesn’t Happen The Right Way

Sometimes, a first kiss doesn’t go down the way you wanted it to, no matter how much you prepared and planned for it. If this happens to you, relax! Take a few steps back. Keep flirting with her and having fun together, and don’t let the moment get too awkward. It just may not have been the right time or place, or she just might not have felt like it!

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Every Woman Is Different

There are tons of different turn-ons and turn offs when it comes to women. Each woman has her own set of things that turn her on, like foreplay or oral sex, and things that turn her off. These things will differ from woman to woman. However, there are some things that men do when getting it on that most women don’t like. When you’re with a girl for a period of time, you’re going to learn her specific likes and dislikes. However, you can be pretty sure that every woman isn’t going to like these three things:

Being Excessively Polite In Bed

Weak, wimpy guys do not turn women on. In fact, quite the opposite! So if you’re excessively polite in the sack, saying things like “Please can I do this,” or “What do you think about this” is going to turn her off completely. Instead, focus on being confident and assertive during sex. Girls prefer a strong, confident guy who knows what he wants to a guy who is constantly worried about what he’s doing or if he’s doing it wrong.

Examples Of What Not To Do

• Asking permission for everything in bed.
• Never showing any dominant, masculine energy.
• Apologizing for anything while getting busy.

Just because you’re being strong and masculine doesn’t mean you need to treat a woman badly. You can still be dominant and assertive while still being loving and caring towards her. Being a jerk towards her doesn’t make you confident – it just makes you a jerk. Show girls your confidence by knowing what you want and knowing how to give a woman an orgasm.

Lack Of Emotion During Sex

Very few sex advice manuals out there talk about how to be emotional while knocking boots. They’re mostly technique driven, teaching you how to touch a woman’s clitoris or finger her g-spot. However, technique is only going to get you so far. Women are emotional creatures, and experience emotion deeply when getting busy. It’s just part of their nature. Failing to show emotion and acting like a robot while getting it on isn’t going to win you any points, even if you can touch her exactly the way the sex advice book you read told you to.

Don’t be afraid to show your emotional side when making love. Let pleasure, pain or ecstasy overcome you and let it out. Let it show on your face and in your voice. Let yourself be consumed by the moment instead of being focused on every technique you learned. A woman wants to experience that with you, and she wants to know that she’s doing a good job pleasing you.

Ways To Show Emotion

• Make noises while making love.
• Talk romantically to her or use dirty talk if she’s into it.
• Show emotional vulnerability inside and outside the bedroom.

Going Straight For The Gold

Another big faux pas when getting it on – and perhaps the biggest complaint among women – is when a guy goes straight for the gold. He comes in, does his thing, has an orgasm and rolls over and goes to sleep. Chances are, you’re not going to get laid by this woman again. She will think you don’t care about her and only cared about yourself and your pleasure.

Instead, focus on her pleasure first. Give her oral sex before you even have intercourse with her. Read sex advice manuals and learn new techniques to bring her pleasure. Combine new techniques with being confident and emotional, and you’ll have her completely wrapped up in you. She’ll want to get busy with you all the time!

When you find new ways to turn her on and pleasure her, you’re both going to get more nookie in the end. Experimenting with new ways to have fun and mix it up is going to keep her interested in having sex with you. If you use the same techniques over and over, she’s going to get bored and want to find something – or someone – else to do. Always be learning new techniques to keep things fresh and exciting.

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Give Her Space

For a girl to actually want to go after you, she has to actually have room to go after you. If smothering her with attention and asking her out on dates all the time, she’s going to get sick of you being in her space and she’s going to start running. A girl who feels smothered or trapped isn’t going to want to go after you at all – she’ll be wanting to get away from you at every possible turn. At first, this is just because she needs to “breathe” – it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t like you anymore. However, if you continue to smother her and stay in her space without giving her a chance to recoup, she’s going to try to get away – and stay away.

Let her develop her own life. In fact, encourage it! Make sure she spends time with her friends and you spend time with yours. Have a life outside of your friendship or relationship and make sure she does too. By giving her space, you’re ensuring that she has time to think about you and miss you – after which, she’ll start to go after you!

Let The Attraction Unfold Naturally

This is perhaps one of the most important parts of dating and getting a woman to want to go after you instead of the other way around. Far too many guys “try” too hard to win a woman’s attention and affection, which really has the opposite effect. She’s not going to be very attracted when you’re constantly in her space.

Attraction doesn’t often happen instantly – it’s something that needs to grow over time. When a man tries too hard, he stifles that natural process. The woman he’s interested in is so busy trying to get away that there’s no time for that attraction and sexual tension to develop. Enjoy being together, but don’t start out with high expectations of where the friendship is going to go or if you’re going to get into a monogamous, serious relationship any time soon. Instead, learn to enjoy the moments you have together and let nature take it’s course!

Dating Isn’t The Same As It Used To Be

Women aren’t sitting around anymore waiting for a guy to ask them out. In fact, it’s quite a bit different from the “days of old.” Women hold a lot of power in the dating scene and they’re often the ones who call the shots. The ratio of available guys to women are a bit skewed these days – about 5% of the single male population are the ones getting all the girls, and the other 95% is wondering what happened!

How To Be In The 5%

Look around and take note of all the guys out there that are getting women. What are they doing? How do they dress? How do they act? What are they saying? Chances are, they’re not offering up some cheesy pick up lines. What you’ll notice is that these guys appear strong, confident and independent to the women around them.

They have a life of their own, they have passions and they carry themselves with an aura of confidence and high self esteem. Does that mean you have to be cocky to get women to want to go out with you? Not hardly. But if you’re a wimp who is always asking “permission” for things or apologizing for things, you’re not going to get very far at all.

Learn to be that strong, confident guy. Learn to like yourself for who you are and be yourself when you go into the dating scene. You have something of value to offer – now you just have to believe it.

Develop A Magnetic Personality

For women to approach you, you’ve got to put yourself out there. Be someone who is magnetic, flirtatious, charming and really fun to be around. Have that core inner strength and happiness that radiates outward to other people. This is probably the number one piece of dating advice – if you don’t do anything else, do this. Having a personality that people want to be around is the first step to attracting friends and getting women to go after you – instead of you always having to ask them out!

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Let Her Know That You Exist

If you really like a woman, nothing is going to happen – ever – if she doesn’t know that you even exist. Bite the bullet, go up to the girl you like and introduce yourself! She’s never going to know who you are if you don’t introduce yourself, and of course, if she doesn’t know who you are, how can you date her?

Get To Know The Woman You Like

Most guys (and gals) that like someone end up fantasizing about who this woman is, what they like and what they don’t like. In reality, however, there’s no way to actually know what this woman is like without really getting to know them. So after you introduce yourself to the girl you like, take the time to get to know her. Talk to her, find out what her interests and disinterests are, as well as what passions drive her.

This will do one of two things – you’ll either get to know her and figure out that you don’t like who she really is and that you’d rather not start dating her, or you’ll like her even more than you already did. Just don’t assume that because you like this woman that you know everything there is to know about them – because your imagination is actually what fills in a lot of the blanks. You may think that you know something about a person, when in all actuality, your imagination came up with that particular characteristic.

How To Get The Woman You Like To Want To Start Dating YOU

To attract women, whether you like them or not, you have to be the kind of guy that attracts women. Be a strong, confident guy who has passions and a drive in life. Learn to love yourself and be happy about where your life is going, so you can then radiate that happiness and confidence outward to other people. THIS is what women are attracted to! They’re not interested in weak, wimpy guys that are desperate to get a girl. In fact, quite the opposite. They want to be dating a guy who is confident in himself, and is happy and fun to be around.

• Be positive, optimistic and enthusiastic
• Enjoy social situations and meeting new people
• Be a part of the “fun” crowd
• Have goals in life
• Know where you are and where you want to be in life
• Be fun to hang out with
• Know how to have a great conversation

Access The Emotions That Make Her Addicted To Being Around You

A woman will remember you depending on the way you make her feel. If you don’t make her feel good, all the dating tips in the world aren’t going to help you. She’s either not going to remember you at all or you’ll leave her with a bad memory – which is the exact opposite of what you want to do! Instead, focus on making her feel great when she’s around you.

• Have a good time with her
• Make her feel incredibly sexy and beautiful
• Do interesting, fun, exciting and memorable things together
• Show that you’re interested in who she is
• Pay attention and listen to her

Never Change Who You Are For A Girl

Remember to never change who you are for a girl. Learn to love yourself for who you are and allow that to shine through – never change yourself to act the way a particular girl wants you to act or look the way a girl wants you to look. Changing who you are to impress someone else is going to do nothing but make you look lame – and the woman you may actually want to be with might see this and count you out because you’re too wishy washy and don’t have that self-confidence.

If the girl you’re interested in isn’t responding well to your dating efforts, let it go. It may not be a good fit, and if you keep trying to make it work with someone it’s obviously not going to work with, you’re going to be making yourself unavailable for the right woman that might come along. If you have that self confidence, you’re going to be able to let it go and move on to another girl who will appreciate you for who you are.

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You’ve broken up with your ex and are either single or with someone new, but you know you jumped back into the dating pool too soon. You realize this was a rebound knee-jerk reaction and what’s worse, you can’t get your ex out of your mind. You want her back and you want her back for good! Stick around because not only will I tell you how you can get her back, but how you can improve on your own life and self-image at the same time.

Learn To Live Your Life

We all know men and women are wired differently – “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus right?” But what if you could rewire the inner you, both physically as well as emotionally! You can and whilst you may not wake up tomorrow a totally new person both physically and emotionally (believe me it doesn’t even happen overnight on those reality television shows), the first step in creating a new you to win her back is to START living the life you want to live and being the person you and SHE wants you to be.

It can’t be that difficult or too far a reach or disconnect or else she wouldn’t have dated you in the first place right? We are all primed from early childhood, allocated labels, “athletic,” “academic,” “artistic” etc., but often these labels are self-fulfilling prophecies that create our identity as opposed to shaping our own identity.

Explore A New You

Despite the fact that your breakup with your ex might have been the catalyst for your desire to change, self-actualization, or becoming more confident is part of life’s evolution. With evolution, your needs change, you acquire wisdom and experience and now you have reached a stage where you need to try something different.

You may want to explore a new career, move to a different location, explore other activities and behaviors. In fact, this could also be the reason your relationship with your ex back-fired. Neither of you were getting what you needed. Perhaps she felt unappreciated or bored, and perhaps you found excuses to be away from home. However, the breakup between the two of you is treating the symptom, not the cause.

Take Care Of Yourself

Take the next couple of days to make a list of all the positive and negative factors in your relationship but at the same time, look after your health by eating healthy, exercising and getting enough sleep. This time apart allows you to reassess your life, and your possible life together with your ex, objectively.

By the time you meet up with your ex she will already begin to see the ‘new emerging you’; and might possibly be inspired to join you. Whatever the situation, it is important to remember that you’re not stuck with who you were in the past. We often feel like who or what we aspire to be has to “make sense.” But we’re always growing, and taking a leap into a new life is exciting and even better with your ex by your side.

It starts off as small steps and it was Confucius who said: “A journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step,” and so to create a new you and a new relationship, it’s often the little things that are the first step.

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Sweet guys are great, but men that are too sweet don’t attract many women because of their decided lack of backbone. Fortunately, there’s a compromise – you CAN be a “nice” guy, but you can also be strong and assertive – which is totally attractive to women. Here’s how to be the kind of man she REALLY wants.

Do Girls Really Like Bad Boys?

It’s a common belief that girls like bad boys – but is it true? Not exactly. Girls like the idea of a bad boy, but they really like the nice guys better. Women like the idea that a man can be strong, confident and a little naughty, but they don’t like being treated badly like so many “bad” boys do. Most women like nice guys better – as long as they’re not too nice.

Nice Doesn’t Have To Equal Wimpy And Submissive

Women want a strong, confident man. That’s why they often gravitate to the “bad boys.” Initially, a woman can be smitten with the confident persona that a guy like this puts on, but for long term relationships it almost never works out. Women want to be treated well and a lot of these type of guys tend to be more aggressive and demeaning towards women. Not at first, of course, because in any dating situation, a man is going to put is best foot forward to try to seduce a woman. However, as time goes on, he starts becoming more comfortable with her and may end up treating her less like his girlfriend and more like an object.

So being a “bad boy” isn’t going to get you very far with women – but being “nice” doesn’t mean that you have to be wimpy and submissive. In fact, women really don’t like wimpy or submissive guys. You can be nice, courteous and respectful towards a girl without giving up your confidence. In fact, being respectful and kind while still being strong and confident is what is most attractive to women!

Don’t Get Caught Being “Too” Sweet

Part of being this kind of man is listening to a girl, being there for her, complimenting her, etc. But you don’t want to get caught being too sweet, because this can have the opposite effect. If you’re really going overboard, you’re going to give off that “wimpy” vibe, which is exactly what you DON’T want to do.

If you’re being too sweet, you’re going to end up getting stuck in the friend zone – where she talks to you about all her problems because you’re such a great listener like her girlfriends! You don’t want to get in this mess either. You want to be a strong, confident sweet guy that makes her feel great – not like she’s sitting down for a gab-fest with one of her best friends.

Know How To Be Firm And Assertive When The Situation Calls For It

Part of the difference between wimps and men who are sweet but also strong and confident is that strong, confident men know exactly how to be firm and assertive when the situation calls for it. Wimpy guys are sweet and sensitive ALL the time, and this isn’t going to get you anywhere with a woman. A woman wants a guy who can man up if need be.

Don’t be too needy, too clingy or wishy-washy in your decisions. When dating, be assertive enough to choose the restaurant you’re going to take her to, but nice enough to open the door and pull out the chair for her. Don’t order FOR her, but ask her what she’d like and then tell the wait staff. There are lots of ways to show a woman that you’re confident enough to run the show, but also that you’re going to treat her the way she deserves to be treated.

You WILL Get Rejected At Some Point

Not every woman is going to say “yes” when you ask her out, even when you have the right persona. This is something you’re going to have to come to terms with – because even if you think you’re saying and doing everything perfectly, not every woman is going to respond to what you’ve got to offer. However, realizing that this is just part of it is what is going to get you past it. When you are confident enough to get rejected without taking it too personally, you’ll start getting rejected less and less.

Be Genuine

While learning how to be a sweet guy is great for getting the ladies, make sure you’re actually being genuine about it and that this is who you really want to be. If you’re faking it to manipulate a girl into feeling a certain way by pretending you’re someone you’re not, any relationship you get into isn’t going to last long before the girl figures out what is really going on.

Don’t be ashamed of who you are and don’t be too nervous to show the REAL you to a woman. If you don’t, she will eventually get to know the real you and realize that it’s not who you were at the beginning. Love yourself for who you are and use that to be authentic with a woman. Being authentic is what will help you find women that you’re actually compatible with!

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Women Love Romance

Almost every woman loves romance – they love to be sweet talked and told how beautiful they are or how much they mean to a guy. This is another one of those big “men are different than women” things – men don’t put as much stock into words themselves as women do. Words mean a lot to women and with the right words, you can have direct entry into a woman’s heart. If you say the right things, you’ll make a woman melt almost immediately!

Compliments To Use

When you compliment a woman, what you say goes directly into her brain and into her heart. She’ll remember what you said for weeks, months or even years and if it’s something really special, she’ll never forget it. Here are some great compliments to use when you want to make a woman swoon:

• Start any sentence with “I love it when you….” Fill in the blank with something she does that you think is cute or that makes your life easier. This can be really effective if you know she goes out of her way to do something for you. Telling her you love this shows her that a) you noticed that she did it and b) that you appreciate it. That kind of compliment is golden!
• “You make me….” Use this one to tell her about something she does to make your life better in some way. Women love to fix their guys – so tell her something that she’s done for you that makes things easier or better for you.
• Compliment her in ways that make her feel like she’s the only woman in the world. Make her feel like she’s truly unique, special and there’s no one else in the world like her. Tell her why she’s perfect for you and how she’s absolutely irreplaceable.

Old Favorites

There are some sayings that have been around for awhile that still work – in fact, these phrases are probably what you’d consider to be a “hammer” in your compliment tool belt. Nothing new or fancy, but these phrases definitely do the trick.

• Saying “I love you” is always in style. Of course, you want to make sure that you’re in that stage of your relationship before you bust out the L-word. If you just met that day, this probably isn’t appropriate to use.
• Tell her that she’s beautiful. Use the word “beautiful” – you may think that “hot” equates to the same thing, but for a woman, it doesn’t. If you tell her that she’s “hot,” she’ll think you regard her as more of an object than a person. Tell her how breathtaking she looks instead.

Being Genuine Is Everything

Don’t just say empty words when you give a woman a compliment. She will see right through it before you even finish getting the sentence out of your mouth. Make sure that you mean what you say! Because women speak in the language of emotions, it’s important to attach your emotions to everything you say. Yes, you’re making yourself a little more vulnerable this way, but it’s exactly what is going to make the difference to your woman.

Pick up lines aren’t what you want to use to give your partner or a woman you like a genuine compliment. What you say needs to come directly from your heart – not memorized beforehand. When talking to a woman, don’t over-exaggerate. Be honest and put the real you out there.

Have A Positive Focus

When wooing a woman with romance, you want to make sure that what you’re saying has a positive focus. Stay focused on talking about the things you like about your woman, not the things that you don’t like.  A great way to be positive is to be kind and appreciative of the thinks you like about your partner about of the things she does for you to make your life better.

Actions do speak louder than words, so you also want to make sure that you’re doing kind things in addition to saying nice and sweet things to your woman. If you’re saying one thing but doing another, you’re only going to confuse or upset her. Here’s how to really show a woman that she’s important to you:

• Spend time with her. If you’re on the phone, get off and talk to her instead.
• Make eye contact with her. Show her you care about her through your eyes.
• Show her that you’re grateful for her being in your life.
• Show her that she’s important to you and you’re happy she’s there with you.

If you compliment a woman and show her that you really care, you’ll make her melt in no time!

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Most Guys Suffer From Dating Anxiety

If you get apprehensive when you start talking to a girl, you’re not alone. The far majority of guys get a little freaked out when they approach women and they often stutter, fidget or choke on their words. They seem really awkward – even when they’re smooth when they’re around their friends. Even though most guys have trouble with getting flustered and flubbing up when they approach women, you don’t have to!

Understanding Basic Social Anxiety

A lot of people who have apprehension when “dating” may actually just be apprehensive socially. If you find yourself getting flustered most of the time when you’re in a new situation with new people, it may not necessarily be that you are apprehensive about women at all – you may actually have social anxiety. Signs of apprehension in all social situations might be:

• Freezing up in social situations that do or do not include women
• Difficulty talking to new people in general
• Being limited in your ability to express yourself

Being apprehensive in new social situations isn’t uncommon, but it can definitely wreak havoc not only on your love life, but your life in general. Things that should be simple, such as striking up a conversation with a girl or asking a girl out can seem impossible. Other ways it can affect your life might be:

• Problems talking with new people in general, regardless of their gender
• Trouble making friends with new people
• Can lead to sadness, depression and reduced satisfaction with life in general

Relax!

The first thing you need to do when you struggle with getting flustered in new social situations is to make an effort to consciously relax. Any time you start to feel apprehensive, take a few minutes to calm down and breathe in and out slowly. Remember that it’s going to be okay!

You can also practice yoga or meditation in your spare time to learn great relaxation techniques that you can use any time. Yoga and meditation help you learn how to calm down overall, but they also teach techniques that you can use in the heat of the moment to collect yourself and decrease your stress right away.

Practice Makes Perfect

A lot of guys struggle with approaching new people and starting a conversation, simply because they’ve not done it a lot and don’t have any confidence in themselves to do it. It’s normal to be apprehensive about doing something that you’ve never done before or don’t do often – so get out there and practice talking to people! The more you talk to people – both men and women – the less apprehensive you will be about striking up a conversation out of the blue with a new person.

If you focus on meeting new people and putting yourself in new social situations, you’re going to be uncomfortable at first, but you’re going to get used to it and soon it will be like second nature to you. There’s a reason all those “suave” guys are so suave – they go up to women and talk to them all the time!

Getting Help For Serious Anxiety

While most people are at least a little apprehensive in new situations, there are some people who struggle with anxiety all the time. The symptoms of clinical anxiety are similar to general apprehension in new social situations, but can be more persistent or severe. If you struggle with nervousness often, you may want to seek the advice of your doctor or another medical professional. They can help you:

• Find a counselor or someone to talk to about your feelings
• Recommend medication for some people
• Suggest other treatments that may help you lead a more normal, happy life

It’s All About Having Fun

Remember that dating is all about putting yourself out there and having fun. Yes, you risk getting rejected and the more women you approach, the more you might get rejected. However, think of it this way – learn to appreciate any successes you have, no matter how small they are. If you ask out twenty girls and only one of them says yes, don’t think of it as getting nineteen refusals. You have a date soon! Forget all the “no’s” and go get ready for a really great first date.

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Saying Something Is Better Than Saying Nothing At All

You may have the perfect pick up line in your head, but if you never actually start a conversation with a woman, your pick up lines are going to get you nowhere fast. Even if you flub your “lines” or don’t end up saying the right thing, opening your mouth and putting yourself out there will get you farther with a woman than standing silently on the sidelines.

Find out if you and the girl you’re interested in have something in common. It’s easier to strike up a conversation with someone if you both have something in common – so ask a woman what she likes and find out if you have any similar interests. As you begin talking about things that you like, don’t like and enjoy doing, you’ll start getting to know each other – which opens the door to the next step.

Always Stay True To Yourself

Many guys are tempted to try to be the guy they “think” a woman wants when they start flirting. However, this can end up backfiring on you fast because it won’t take long for a woman to realize that you’re being wishy washy about your interests and you’re not really being yourself.

Learn to like yourself for who you are and learn to be confident in your own skin. Take that confidence with you when you introduce yourself to a woman, and don’t be afraid to put the real you out there. Don’t fake your interests because you think she’ll like you better that way. Be like a rock in what you like and what you don’t like – because let’s face it – if she doesn’t like you for who you really are, do you really want to be with her anyways?

Have Fun With Her

Women remember how they feel during an encounter with a guy much more than they remember what was said or what actually happened. Any time you’re with a girl, make her feel amazing! Make her laugh, pay compliments and make her feel like she’s the only woman in the room.

If you get to go on a date with a woman, make sure you have lots of fun things planned in advance. Don’t just take a woman to dinner and a movie – that’s okay, but it’s not going to evoke any new emotions and make you stand apart from every other guy that’s ever taken her out to dinner and a movie. Instead, take your woman on adventurous dates such as hiking or bike riding. Make sure she feels excited when she’s with you and that things are unpredictable and fun!

As you get to know a girl, start encouraging her to reach the goals she has in life. Be there for your woman and be supportive of what she wants to do and where she wants to go in life. Show a woman that what is important to her is important to you too.

Have No Fear

When dating, you really have to be willing to take a risk and put yourself out there. You’ll find that the more willing you are to take risks and approach women and start conversations with them, the more women will actually be interested in you. Guys who are scared or fake it don’t end up with many women – or any at all!

Quit waiting for the right time to go up to a woman, or the right situation to come out of your shell. You’re never going to find the perfect “time” or the perfect “situation” to ask a girl out. If you’re waiting for everything to be perfect, that time will never come. Instead, just go for it! Go up to a woman and start talking. You may not get a good response every single time you do, but you’re never going to get anywhere at all if you don’t actually start doing it!

Be strong, confident and put the real you out there. When you take a risk and make yourself vulnerable by being yourself, women will notice. Don’t be afraid to go up to them and start a conversation – when take that first step, you’ll find that it’s easy to get a girl to become infatuated with you!

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Whether you’re meeting your boyfriend/girlfriend’s parents for the first time, or going to your tenth holiday dinner at your in-laws’ place, interacting with your significant other’s family can be one of the most complex parts of your relationship. If you’re willing to be patient and make compromises, you’ll have an easier time with your new relatives-by-proxy.

Spending Time With In-Laws Can Be Stressful

There are two little words that can strike massive fear in the hearts of many men and women: in-laws. Spending time with your significant other’s family can be one of the most strange and stressful parts of your relationship. Unless your partner is a recent orphan, however, you’re not going to get out of family time. The best you can do is learn how to cope with them – while still being yourself and being confident.

If it’s the first time you’re meeting your significant other’s family members, there are a few ways to better prepare yourself. First of all, talk to your partner about his or her relatives – this is probably the best where your best relationship advice comes from because a little research about who these people really are can go a long way. You shouldn’t put up a front, but it is good to adjust yourself slightly to their expectations.

If they’re not big drinkers, don’t show up with a bottle of wine. If they traditionally dress up for dinner, trade in your jeans for a dress or slacks. Think of it like visiting a foreign country; you don’t want to look like a tourist, so you take a few tiny steps to fit in with the locals. This will also endear you to your mate, because he or she will be flattered that you care about impressing the parents.

Will You Fit In With Their Family?

What if, once you’ve met them, you find you don’t fit in at all? If you’re married, engaged, or moving in together, you won’t be able to avoid the in-laws forever. That means you need to strategize appropriately. Try to plan family gatherings that have set end times, so your visits won’t be painfully long. Look for the one or two things you do have in common and focus on them.

If you and your in-laws both love old movies, host a classic movie night at your place. They’ll feel welcomed and loved, and you won’t have to talk to them much during the movie. Have excuses at the ready to cut awkward drop-in visits short or omit awkward silences without being impolite. For instance, if your mother-in-law drops by on a Sunday afternoon and just won’t leave, tell her you hate to end your visit, but you have to run errands before dinner time.

Then plan for one of those aforementioned movie nights so she knows you’re not adverse to spending time with her. When it comes to the holidays, make sure that you and your partner set ground rules early on in your relationship. Every three years is a good rule—one year with your family, the next with your significant other’s family, and the third year to yourselves. That makes both sets of in-laws feel like they’re being treated fairly.

What To Do If It Gets Awkward

Of course, sometimes relations with your partner’s family go beyond awkward unpleasantness and become strained. Maybe you hate being around your spouse’s parents because they have strong political beliefs that oppose yours, or maybe the situation is worse.

If Aunt Jean is a bigot and insults you to your face because you’re not the same race as she is, then you don’t have to put up with that. You can and should cross her off the family game night invite list. If you find that you’re the lone Democrat in a sea of diehard Republicans, avoid the topic of politics like the plague. If it still gets brought up, you can either sit back and quietly observe or suggest a subject change.

In the end, in-laws are a fact of life in long term relationships. You don’t have to enjoy every moment of it, but you can improve upon your time with them. Above all, remember that these folks are your significant other’s family. Like them or not, your mate loves them. You owe it to her or him to make lemonade from these familial lemons. Besides, don’t forget—he or she has to deal with your family, too!

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Pay Attention To What Your Body Language Says To Girls

When a girl approaches you or you approach her, she’s going to size you up in about five seconds. She’s going to make a judgement about you based on several things, including the way you look, the way you dress and even how you smell. Your body language plays an important part in attracting women, because this is what will make you seem approachable to her or not. Subconsciously, she’s reading your body language to know if it’s okay to go up and talk to you or not.

Make sure that your body language communicates that you’re a strong, confident man, who is also friendly and fun to hang out with. When you’re flirting with a woman, you want to make a lot of strong, masculine gestures and also make sure that you’re not stooping over – if you have poor posture, you’re not going to look confident at all. Make sure your facial expressions convey a happy, confident and fun to be around personality – if you’re scowling the whole time, no girl is going to want to approach you or carry on a conversation with you.

Have Friends That Are Also Confident And Fun To Be Around

Who your friends are and who is in your social circle really says a lot about you, especially to a woman. When choosing friends, know that your friends really show who you are, so you want to make sure that you and your friends have similar ideals. If you’re hanging around a bunch of bullies or jerks, girls are going to think that you’re a bully or a jerk, even if you’re not. Your friends should be just as nice and friendly to others as you are.

Learn To Love Yourself

Women want to be dating confident men – they don’t want to be dating a wuss. So you want to project an air of self confidence and to do that, you must truly learn to love yourself for who you really are. Know that each person is special and unique (including you) and each person has something they can offer other people that no one else can. Each person is an individual and no two people are exactly alike. Learn to love yourself and be confident in what YOU can offer, because it’s special!

How To Break The Ice

You’ve got the first five seconds down, but now you actually have to talk to her! What do you talk to her about? How can you break the ice without choking up?

Start flirting with her. Engage her in conversation. Start by asking her questions. Don’t just ask questions like, “What do you think about the crazy weather we’ve been having lately?” That’s lame. Ask her intellectual questions about her, things around you or things that matter to her. For example, ask her what she is passionate about. No, not what her hobbies are or what sports she plays. Ask her questions that really make her think, like, “What is it that makes you want to wake up every morning?”

Talk About Your Passions

While you definitely want to break the ice by asking her about her passions first, there’s probably going to be an opening at some point for you to talk about what drives you. Be honest with her and let her know what you truly love and what really makes you tick. Hopefully, you and her share some of the same passions or at least ones that are similar so you can start building some common ground, which is essential when you start dating someone.

However, you’re never going to know if you and a girl would really hit it off unless you’re completely honest about your passions and what you love, even though it makes you more vulnerable to rejection. When it comes to dating, women know that a man is risking rejection each time he is flirting with a girl or asks a woman out. You can really make a difference by revealing yourself to a girl, instead of trying to be the guy you think she wants.

Stay Positive

Girls always remember how they feel when they meet a guy. She may not remember exactly what he looks like or exactly what he said, but if he made her feel great, she’s going to remember him and either be waiting for his call or be dialing his digits herself. If a guy makes her feel amazing, she’s definitely going to want to be dating him.

If you make women feel great when they’re around you, they’re going to remember you and want to hang out with you even more. If you’re a downer while they’re around, or if you’re pessimistic or constantly complaining about things, a woman is going to want to run for the hills at the first chance she gets. Even if you’re nervous, focus on flirting with her and making her laugh. Smile, relax and remember to have fun. Show her a good time and make her feel like she’s the only girl in the room. If you do, it’s pretty much guaranteed that you’ll score a date with her.

You’ve Got To Do More Than Talk

While you may be able to talk a good game, that’s not the only thing you have to do if you want to keep women you want to be dating coming back to you for more. Use body language and gestures to show a woman that you’re really interested in her. For example, you can look in her eyes just a few seconds longer than is comfortable and touch her arm while she’s talking to you or you’re talking to her.

If things are going really well between you and a girl, don’t be afraid to take it a step further. If you and her seem to be really hitting it off, don’t be afraid to take a risk and go in for a kiss. Even if you get rejected 10 times out of 11, all that really mattered was that you got 1 “Yes!”

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Relax!

The most important thing you can do when dating and talking to women is to relax and take everything in stride. When you start getting stressed out and worried about doing well or what she’ll think of you, everything will go downhill quickly. Give off an energy of being quiet, calm and confident. Relax and be fun to be around. Laugh at things around you that are funny and stay calm. Don’t allow yourself to get too nervous or worked up over dating, because if you do, you’ve already sealed your fate and you won’t do well at all.

Avoid Trying Too Hard

A lot of guys end up trying to hard when dating. They try too hard to be funny, but end up telling really lame or offensive jokes. Or, they may try too hard to be sexy or to turn a woman on, but they end up coming across as really overbearing, sexual or creepy. The best thing you can do is to avoid trying TOO hard. You definitely want to put your best foot forward, but this is where relaxing comes into play. You want to keep from trying to hard, because you’ll probably end up turning her off, big time.

Be Yourself

A girl is going to find out who you really are anyway once you start dating her, so why not just be yourself from the very get go? Along with trying too hard, a lot of men try to be the kind of guy they think a woman wants, but it usually ends up backfiring. While you definitely want to be the best you that there is, don’t pretend to like things you don’t like, do things you don’t do or dislike things you actually really enjoy. Be confident in who you are and put yourself out there. There are definitely going to be women who will appreciate that you took the risk to be honest and true to yourself.

Things To Talk About

Most guys worry about what to say when it comes to dating. They want specific things that they can discuss during a date so they never have a lull in the conversation or those awkward silences. While following where the conversation naturally leads is the best thing you can do, here are some things you can say (and things you need to avoid) to be successful.

• Do you have anything in common? This can be movies, music, hobbies or whatever. Think about the things you like and ask her if she likes any of the same things.
• Don’t talk too much about yourself. This can make you seem egotistical and self absorbed – which every woman hates. Make sure you ask her questions about herself too and genuinely listen to her answers.
• Don’t complain about things. While you might be getting really crappy service at the restaurant you’re at, or you spilled on yourself and your car won’t start, it’s important that you laugh things off – especially on the first date. Don’t come off too pessimistic.

Focus On Her

Do you know how many times a girl has been on a date with a guy that won’t shut up about himself? Tons. So don’t be that guy. Instead, put the focus on her. Ask her questions (that aren’t too creepy) and be interested in the answers. What does she like to do for fun? What kind of music does she like or what kind of movies does she like to watch? What is she passionate about? What drives her? What is she proud of in her life? If you ask a woman about herself and are actually interested in what she has to say (and she will sense if you’re faking it) she’ll be smitten with you from the get go.

Don’t Be Afraid To Flirt

Girls love flirting – that’s all there is too it. Flirting can be so much fun for both the guy and the girl. Tease her, compliment her, touch her lightly on the arm or leg and get close to her. Laugh at things that are funny and give her a genuine smile with some smoldering eye contact. Witty banter is priceless when it comes to talking to women, but make sure you’re not teasing her too hard. Mixing up a little teasing with genuine compliments and good, engaging conversation is an excellent formula for flirting success.

Things To Remember

While you definitely want everything to develop on its own naturally, there are some things you want to keep in mind when you’re out dating and making friends with women:

• You’re not “performing.” Relax and have fun!
• Avoid pick up lines. Pick up lines almost never work.
• Women are attracted to men that give off a fun, confident energy. Be that guy! People will start to flock to you (girls included) if you are fun to hang out with.
• Don’t be afraid of pauses in the conversation. All conversations have natural pauses, especially if you’re having dinner – you definitely need to take a few minutes here and there to eat! Let the conversation develop naturally, without worrying about awkward silences. Pauses in the conversation actually create sexual tension – which is a very good thing!

Practice Makes Perfect

Like with anything, practice makes perfect when it comes to dating and having a conversation with a woman. If you struggle with being comfortable talking to women, practice doing it even with girls you’re not interested in dating. Go up to women on a daily basis and make an effort to strike up conversations with them. It may be difficult for you to do at first, but as you continue doing it, you’re going to become more and more comfortable with the concept of just approaching women and making conversation with them. This means that when the right girl finally does come along, you’re going to be well prepared for having a fun, successful conversation with her.

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So maybe you are out running an every day errand, maybe you are getting some drinks at a bar or club, either way, all you know is that you are going a long with your business and like a fly to a neon light, you see some girl that completely captures your attention. All you want is to be able to go up and talk to her, flirt with her, sweep her off her feet, and walk out with her.

However for some, this task simply remains an idea while they sit idly and watch the girl they admire walk away, many times to never be seen again. Well if one can apply the simple concepts presented in this article, difficulty making an introduction will become a thing of the past.

She Probably Won’t Introduce Herself To You

First thing you need to understand is that the girl will almost never make an introduction on you, per say. What I mean is that it is extremely rare that any girl will go out of her way, go up to you, and initiate the conversation, I don’t care how good looking you are, it almost never happens so get that idea out of your head and never wait around for it. Girls do however go out of their way to make themselves readily available for your introduction.

This is because it is your job, as the man, to go up, pick the girl you want, and initiate the conversation. It is your right as a man; never forget this. There is nothing socially wrong with it, if anything it is expected of you.

So the key to a successful first introduction is identifying what kind of girls want to be approached. Often times, it goes wrong for a guy it is because they are waiting around too long, missing opportunities the girl presents, or simply introduce yourself girls that are not currently open to flirting. So the step is identifying the two major things that a girl will do to open herself to your introduction.

How She Will Open Herself Up To You

Eye Contact

This is by far the most important window that a girl can present to you for you to open. Think about what its like when you walk through a busy street. As you walk on your way, there are naturally people that just catch your eye, sometimes it is a pretty girl, other times it is just someone in your vicinity, point is subconsciously your mind works to make yourself aware of your surroundings. We do this by making brief eye contact with the people around us and girls do the same exact thing.

If you are out and about and you happen to notice a girl look in your direction and you make eye contact with her, even for just a brief second, consider that your push in the butt to go up and talk to her. Because she has recognized you in her surroundings/subconscious, she will not be startled and taken aback by your introduction, in fact about 80% of the time girls make eye contact with a guy is because they found something about them attractive in one way. Think of it like an 80% chance that the dating will go well.

Proximity

Meaning that the girl is in your vicinity. Think of it like this, you are at bar or club and you see a girl you like within her group of friends. Her actions may show that she is in fact very open to being approached, regardless if they are on purpose or subconscious. If you notice the girl standing within a 10 foot radius of yourself for more than 3 mins, she has processed you in her surroundings and will be much more susceptible to an introduction. If you notice her walking by you on more than one occasion, you sure as hell better make an introduction. And lastly if you are noticing her facing you within her group or wherever she may be, she is opening herself to be approached by you.

Combining eye contact and proximity will make the dating go smoothly, especially if you can combine it with this very simple formula for introducing yourself to a girl you find attractive.

Now what I am about to share may sound like a pick up line to some but it should not be viewed like that. It should be viewed as a natural response to a women you find attractive. Although sometimes there are opportunities where something clever and situational can be made into an introduction, it is much simpler to have a natural response to women you find attractive so you don’t over think anything.

Foolproof Introduction To An Attractive Girl

Walk over. Stop. Make eye contact and say:

“Hey I know this seems random but I think you are really cute and I wanted to come over and introduce myself, my name is ______”

Then stick your hand out for a handshake.

This direct introduction works because it allows her to see your intentions from the start, showing you have a general interest in her, if she engages in the conversation, then she is accepting your interest and you already know from the start it is on. Also by putting your hand out and introducing yourself, it allows for her to accept your introduction and be open to a conversation cause you are just being friendly. It is a natural response to shake hands and introduce yourself to someone you just met so by encouraging her to do so after your introduction.

By saying “I know this seems random” in the beginning, you are also addressing the only real objection a girl has to a stranger approaching them, having it be random, so by saying it you take that fear away. Also if you had got eye contact with her or it had her in your proximity, your introduction will be anything but random.

If you can make this style of introduction your go to move when you have nothing clever to say or are otherwise at a loss for words, you will find that even the most attractive girls open up because you are showing social awareness and genuine interest.

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I have a question about dealing with rumors: I met a girl through mutual friends and we instantly hit it off. We’ve been hanging out a lot and now our mutual friends are starting to thing her and I are secretly dating. The problem is, both of us ONLY want to be friends and now these rumors are starting to impact our friendship. We’ve confronted our friends, but they’re not buying it. Any suggestions?

–YouTube Viewer

People Love Good Gossip

People really enjoy a good rumor – to the point where some people may make them up just for their own entertainment. This usually causes drama, which most people enjoy watching – but of course, they don’t want to be involved. Consider the possibility that someone started the gossip intentionally to create drama. Also consider the possibility that it was simply your friends misinterpreting what is really going on in the situation.

Even if someone didn’t start the gossip about you and your friend supposedly dating on purpose, it can still affect you deeply. It can affect your relationships with others, including keeping people who might want to date you from actually asking you out because they heard you were dating someone else. It can also impact the friendship you have with this special person. You may be tempted to end the friendship just to get others to stop thinking you’re dating.

How Rumors Get Spread

Gossip is easy to spread, but difficult to get rid of. If your friend tells you something and you repeat that to someone else, you’ve participated in gossip right there. Because what will happen, is you will get the story twisted just a little bit. Even if you didn’t mean to, you’re going to leave the person you told with a slightly different impression of what your friend actually told you. Once that person tells someone and they tell someone and so on and so on, the idea of what happened is not even close to what actually happened.

Did Your Friends Pick Up On Your Chemistry?

Your friends may have not intended to start gossip at all – in fact, they may have simply noticed that you and your special friend have great chemistry together. Maybe they saw you flirting with each other or just having a great time hanging out together and saw it for what it really was – two great friends with the possibility of something more. Just because you weren’t dating this person at the time the gossip got started, doesn’t mean that there isn’t something there between you two that could evolve into something more. Consider the possibility that your friends picked up on a connection between you two that you have been in the dark about.

Jealousy Can Fuel Gossip

Jealousy is a huge instigator of gossip. People who are feeling jealous may start hearsay just to get under your skin. Perhaps your friends or their friends are jealous because you both have been neglecting your individual friends to hang out together. Another possibility is that a particular friend started the rumor because they wanted to date you – and are upset that you’re spending so much time with this new friend than them. The same applies to your new friend – perhaps one of their friends wanted to date them and are jealous of how much time they’re spending with you.

Let Go Of The Hearsay

Hearsay is just that – hearsay. There’s no reason to hold on to the gossip, because it’s not doing you any good. In fact, it’s probably doing more harm to obsess over what is being said about you and your new friend than it would be to let it go. So just let it go. Learn to disregard what people way about you and your new friendship with this person and just live your live the way you want to. Do what makes you happy and let people say whatever they’re going to say. Remember the saying, “This too shall pass.” The rumors about you dating your new friend will go away eventually and you’ll be left with a great friendship afterwards.

Decide Not To Let It Affect You

The only way that gossip like that will affect you and your new friendship is if you let it. If you let what the other people are saying affect you, it could possibly destroy the relationship. Communicate with your friend and decide together that you’re not going to let the rumors affect what you have together. Also, if you believe your friends are the start of the gossip, have the confidence to let them know that you don’t appreciate them. Let them know the truth and ask them to stop spreading rumors about you. If you’ve asked them once, ask them again. If they’re really your friends, they’ll respect you and stop talking about you behind your back.

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A Serious Plan Of Action

If you are not using objectives to attain what you desire in life (such as being great at dating), you are probably seeing very little success. People seem to think that fixing a problem is the way to bring success into their life. It is like people have tunnel vision just to find the things that are holding them back, or even more so, identifying problems as the things that are holding you back.

Here is the fact of the matter, no one is plagued with the tragedy that is perfection. In fact if someone was perfect, they would be terrible with girls simply because they would not be able to relate to anyone they meet, especially when they meet women. Being able to relate is a huge factor in attracting girls so by trying to solve all your problems, you are making your ability to be good with ladies even harder.

The true way to succeed in dating through actions while learning to work with your problems. I don’t even want to go as far to call our flaws “problems” because they ultimately work in your favor if you are taking action and moving forward with your life. And that is what this article aims for you to do.

Step 1: Identify The Ultimate Objective

If you are reading this, I know why you are here, your ambition is to be successful with women, have options in your life when it comes to choosing girls you want to be with and developing the social skills to start dating successfully. All this falls under “Being Great with Girls” and that is your Ultimate Goal. What you define as being great with ladies will be determined in the next step.

Step 2: Create Objectives That Will Make You Better At Dating

As I’m sure you have heard being good with ladies is both an external and internal pathway of development. Your actions and thoughts must be aligned in the right way to attract the girls you want and your dating objectives should reflect this. Create 5 for your inner self-improvement, and 5 for your outer self.

What I mean is there are ambitions that will directly affect your inner thoughts/mindsets/beliefs and there are ones that will affect your appearance and social skills. Here are some examples but all the ambitions you write should be reflective of what you ultimately want to accomplish, being good with ladies.

Example:

Inner Objectives:

1. Rid myself of the fear to talk to an attractive girls I don’t know.

2. Identify and embraces my passion

3. Become more confident in my self-image

Outer Objectives

1. Be able to bring girls home the night I meet them

2. Not have conversations die when I am talking to ladies

3. Develop a better fashion sense.

You should ultimately create 10 dating objectives for yourself, if you are having trouble thinking of some I have provided a few ideas above but this is your own journey of self discovery and it is important some of them are that of your own.

Step 3: Prioritizing

It is important to reflect and find what ambitions are the most important to you in accomplishing – such as dating – while at the same time creating order to which ones you need to stay on top of. The great thing about this type of training is that if you constantly keep them in mind (I recommend printing a sheet of them and carrying it with you) you will see opportunities for you to take action and attain them.

Step 4: Create A Plan Of Action

I want you to sit down and reflect on each dating objective. Under each, list actual things you can start doing to make these things happen. You are essentially taking your aspirations and breaking them into the things you need to start doing to make them start manifesting. You are creating a plan of action and this is the most important step. This type of training works on success, finding things you can do to bring yourself to the next step.

Your focus will begin to shift away from your problems as you constantly find ways to continue to move forward in your life. As you accomplish each objective, you notice the next one becoming easier and easier because all these aspirations are reflective of each other. This is one of the few things where things get easier every step of the way. The hardest part is only in the beginning and by having a plan of action; the first step is not even that hard. Also the objectives you prioritized the highest should have the most plans of action because it is the area that needs the most work.

Remember a plan of action for each of your aspirations is something that you can physically do to bring yourself to the next level. Each plan for action should push you a bit further. Even if it seems impossible at the time, the impossible becomes possible if you keep working at it.

Example:

Inner Objective:

1. Rid myself of my fear to talk to women I don’t know

Plan of Action:

a. Start small talk with 10 strangers in a day while out and about

b. Start small talk with 5 girls you find attractive while out and about

c. Approach 3 girls you are attracted to by stating your attraction for them. “I think you are really cute”

d. Approach 5 girls in a row and have each one lead to a solid conversation.

Inner Objective:

2. Become more confident in myself image

Plan Of Action:

a. Loose 10 pounds

b. Put on 5 pounds in muscle mass

c. Find a hairdresser that will cut and style my hair. (No more barbers! Find a hot hairdresser that cares about you looking good)

d. Have a girl compliment me on my looks while out and about

Outer Objective:

1. Be able to bring girls home the night I meet them

Plan Of Action:

a. Find and become a regular at a place near my house to take girls on dates

b. Think of non sex reasons for girls to come over

c. Get a car

d. Find social venues near by your place to meet girls.

Outer Objective:

2. Not have conversations die when I am talking to girls

Plan Of Action:

a. Hold a conversation for 3 minutes with a girl

b. Hold a conversation for 10 minutes with a girl

c. Hold a conversation with a large group of ladies for 10 minutes

d. Go an entire conversation without asking about mundane things like names, jobs, and college majors

Outer Objective:

3. Develop a better fashion sense.

Plan Of Action:

a. Subscribe to a magazine like GQ

b. Set a day aside to spend a decent amount on a new wardrobe

c. Cultivate a female friendship where she can help you find what looks good on you

d. Make sure you get a new wardrobe at least every season as they come along

Step 5: TAKE ACTION!

This step is by far the most important. Now that you have a plan to take action go and do so. Organize your list and create an action plan for each and every one. The more plans of action you have the better. Now print out a list of them that you can carry on you and make an effort to accomplish at least one a week.

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Women Definitely Want To Be Approached

When they’re dating (not in a relationship), girls are constantly giving signs for people to come up and talk to them. Sometimes it is a blatant sign directed towards one guy, or it can just be the way she is carrying herself to hope that any guy comes up to spark a conversation. For the most part, I feel 80% of men miss out on these signs or misread them.

Just accept by rule of thumb that a girl will not go out of her way and directly spark a conversation up with you, however she will throw up all kinds of signs for you to come over and talk to her. As someone that is naturally good at dating women, it is your job to be able to read these signs and immediately act upon them.

Before we get into specific signs that girls give, I want to introduce you to the most powerful weapon in any naturals’ arsenal. It is by far the best tool we have for creating a fast and strong connection with the opposite sex. It is in effect before you even say your first words, all the way to the moment she is back in your bedroom. This tool is non-other than eye contact.

Using Your Eyes The Right Way

To master this dating tool you must know how to use your eyes in the right way. If you are like I used to be, you probably never really thought about the eye contact you were making. However, once I started incorporating it properly, I don’t know how I ever did without it.

I first noticed its power as I was walking through a mall. When you are walking in any busy area, there are constantly people you just happen to notice. Many people walk by without catching your eye, while others just seem to draw your attention. Sometimes it is just your mind creating awareness of the space around you, and other time it is something like a pretty girl walking by that catches your attention, either way your focus is always shifting from person to person.

It goes the same way with girls, as they are walking down the street they are constantly looking at people, sometimes you may see them walk right by you without them noticing you, and other times you will catch them make brief eye contact with you. This is your moment to go up to her and start flirting. If a girl walking by has made some form of eye contact with you, it is either her creating awareness of her surroundings, or there is something about you that caught her attention. Either way you have just entered her conscious awareness, making any approach you make with less likely to catch her off guard and will lead to a smoother interaction.

Being Aware Of The People Around You

Try to take note of all the people walking by that you make eye contact with, and then start to get into the habit of approaching these people, you will notice a much warmer response because just from her noticing you for a brief second, you have become less of a stranger in her mind. There is a slight level of familiarity that will help you get your foot in the door with every interaction.

There are more blatant signs that girls give in a variety of situations that are even more powerful than just the passing glance. If you go out to a bar, club, or any place of social nature, you are bound to run into three types of girls giving off very unique signs for you to talk to them. Learn to recognize these types of girls and always approach them.

Signs She Wants To Talk To You

The Gazing Girl

This is the most common sign/type of girl you will see. It is similar to the passing glance we were talking about but is a little more direct. Say you are sitting with your friends at one end of the bar and you notice a girl at another end look over at you and your friends. She is not going to do anything overly seductive; she is just going to make a brief second of eye contact with you then break it.

Now girls already think this a big sign for a guy to approach them but they do not realize how subtle and easy to dismiss it is. So they will follow up once more with a look over. If you have not already gotten and up and are on your way to approach, then consider this second glance a flashing neon light saying GO TALK TO HER. Girls think this sign is obvious and get frustrated that guys miss it. She will not keep going out of her way to make eye contact with you. In almost all cases she will only make it twice (if that) then move on.

The Wandering Girl

Another form of body language girls will use to show they want to be approached is by creating proximity to you. They will either leave to go the bathroom or get a drink, and in turn walk past you, or they will choose to form their group somewhere within a 15 to 20 foot proximity of yourself.

Consider all girls within 20 feet of you as a girl that wants to be approached by you. The closer she is, the more she wants to be approached. If she is this close to you, she is aware of your existence in one form of another so even if she was not intentionally making herself closer to you, she is comfortable with you being in her near proximity. This in turn will result in a more successful and warmer response to any approach you make.

The Dancing Girl

This girl is easy to spot, she will be hanging out with her group of friends, not really paying attention and simply dancing or bobbing her head to the song that is being played. Simply go up and approach and before the conversation can really even spark say how you like this song and tell her to “come dance.” Very assertive and easy.

After the song is over you can suggest walking off the dance floor and talking to her. Chat her up and ask her out on a date. Also look for this sign when you are talking up any girl at a bar or club, if you are having a good conversation and she starts to seem into the song, it is her sign that she wants to dance with you and is often a great way to begin any form of escalation towards sex.

The key to this dating advice is being more aware of your surroundings and to pay attention to the people looking at you/near you. You will begin to notice countless opportunities for you to approach and they all start with a simple subtle glance. Don’t miss them!

Final note on eye contact: When conversing with a girl, make an effort to hold eye contact just a few seconds longer than you normally would. Girls naturally hold eye contact about two seconds longer than guys feel comfortable doing so and if you have eye contact and your focus in the right place, the girl will start to feel an immediate strong bond with you.

It is also a great tool for creating sexual tension and sometimes eye contact can fill any void in conversation. If the girl likes you, she will make an effort to hold eye contact with you, allow her to and be comfortable with it.

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In order to have massively successful interactions with women, your focus must be in the right place.

Dominance Is A Factor

Dominance is one of the key factors in attracting women and dominance consists of the alignment between your inner thoughts and actions. However you may be wondering how one gets to the point where their external actions are matching their internal thoughts. The way to do this is easy, and simply consists of making a slight shift in thinking when you are talking to a woman.

Many guys have the problem of running out of things to say when talking to a girl (or using pick up lines), this is because they are simply focusing on their next actions without having their mind in the right place. You need to ask yourself this same question in regards to your interactions with women. This is quite possibly the most important dating advice you’ll ever get – where we focus our attention is simply a habit and to be good with women, you need to break and establish the right habits.

If I were to simplify every interaction to its purest form it would consist of the moments you are interacting with the woman, followed by the moments she spends interacting with you and your response to that. Each person generally switches off talking; however what they are talking about is generally irrelevant. What matters is where your awareness is during the interaction.

What You Should Be Concentrating On

So lets start with where your concentration should be when you are talking and flirting with a woman:

• If your concentration is on what she thinks of you while you are talking, you failed
• If your concentration is on trying to say something that you think she will like, you failed
• If your concentration is on the next step you can take to escalate to a relationship with her, you failed

However, if your focus is on being genuinely curious in finding more about this girl, you have started to think like someone that is naturally good with women.

Digging A Little Deeper

When talking to a woman, your focus should be coming from a place of “Expressive Curiosity,” meaning you understand what it is you are looking for in a girl, and you are genuinely interested in finding out if this girl meets the standards you have set for yourself. It is called “expressive” curiosity because when your focus comes from a place of genuine curiosity, your actions, touch, body language and facial features express that curiosity in a subtle but natural way that further captivates the woman.

Many people think just asking a series of qualifying questions is a form of expressive curiosity but this is bad dating advice and it is not always the case. Once again, it all depends on your focus. Many times, when people go about asking a girl about what their hobbies are, or what makes them interesting, it comes from a place of zero dominance because they are simply asking to keep conversation going or create the illusion of expressive curiosity.

You don’t even have to ask direct questions to find if the woman meets your standards. By being genuinely curious about the woman, you can find out all you need to know about her just by asking about her weekend. By knowing what you want, your curiosity will steer the conversation into qualifying her like a natural.

How To Show A Girl That You’re Genuinely Curious

Here is an example of great dating advice (In this example I am genuinely curious if I can go out on a date and have fun with this girl, making sure she is not a buzz kill):

Me: “What did you do this weekend?”

Her: “Me and my friends went to bar for my friends birthday.”

Me: “Oh really, what bar? I’ve been looking for a new place to go.” (Genuinely curious, seeing if this woman can offer some value to me)

Her: “It’s a place called Amsterdam Lounge, on Pleasant Street.”

Me: “Oh yeah, I think I’ve heard of that, did you have fun?” (Notice my curiosity is on her, I am asking if SHE had fun. Not if the bar was fun)

Her: “Yeah we had a blast! We ended up getting free drinks on the house cause it was my friend’s birthday.” (At this point I can tell she is fun, however if you want, this is when it would be appropriate to ask a qualifying question because now it is coming from a place of genuine curiosity)

Me: “Sounds pretty crazy, so did you end up being the girl taking care of everyone, or was it the other way around?”

Her: “It was definitely the other way around, someone had to keep up with the birthday girl so she did not feel alone!” (Although this may seem like a simple response, it is absolutely perfect, by being genuinely curious in the girl I’ve learned that she can party, likes to have a good time, and could even go on to assume she is the party starter if she kept up with the birthday woman in regards to having drinks that night).

So once you get into to the habit of putting your awareness into a place of expressive curiosity, there is one other habit you must instill to achieve perfect dominance. This habit fulfills where your mind is at during the response part of your interaction. In other words, this dating advice means you need to be concentrating on when she is talking, and when you are responding to what she says.

Forming The Right Responses

So where should your concentration be when listening and responding to a woman?

• If she is talking and your concentration is on her looks (or having sex with her), you failed
• If she is talking and your concentration is on what to say next, you failed
• If she is talking or you are responding and your concentration is on what she is thinking of you, you failed.

However, if your awareness is on appreciating her for sharing something about herself, and being genuinely excited to be flirting with her, then you are truly thinking like someone that is naturally good with women.

When a woman responds to the questions you asked from a place of genuine curiosity, your response to her answers needs to come from a place of “Appreciation.” In other words, she has done or shown something about herself that you find attractive, you need to show your appreciation to show that this girl is actually getting your attention in a good way.

Do not feel like you have to force anything or be over the top with praise and compliments, you are simply showing your excitement over the fact that there is actually something interesting you find about this girl. This focus allows for you to start creating a real deep connection with the woman while also letting her learn about yourself.

To continue off the previous dating advice example, the last thing she said was:

Her: “It was defiantly the other way around, someone had to keep up with the birthday girl so she did not feel alone!”

Me: “That’s what’s up! I could tell you know how to party.” *High Five* (Now this high five comes from me being genuinely excited that she is a fun woman. I am not doing it as an excuse to touch her, it is simply my actions lining up with my mode of thinking) “I’m the same way, you can’t let your buddy be the only hammered person at a party, sometimes you just got to show that support and keep up with them. It’s common courtesy.” (Now I have used that same appreciation focus to let her know that I like that quality because I am similar)

Her: I couldn’t agree more! (She has now complied to the fact that we are similar. Just because of my approach, our seemingly meaningless conversation has created a strong connection)

To summarize, this dating advice is crucial to your success! When you are talking to a woman, you need to come from a place of genuine, expressive curiosity, and when listening to her, you need to appreciate what she is saying. This will skyrocket your results when dating women.

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Many people think that in order to meet a woman, you need to go to a bar or club. This is simply not the case when it comes to meeting and dating quality women. There is a hesitation many people face when it comes to talking to an attractive girl during day-to-day activities. If you feel this way, you are really limiting yourself to the women you could meet in your life.

Meeting a women in the day time is an interesting concept because it takes the element of “pick up,” that one generally associates with a bar or club, and applies it to stores and street venues. What is partiality intriguing though, is if you asked any girl how they envision meeting their dream guy, it never seems to take place in a nighttime venue. Girls will always go on describe a random occurrence at a coffee shop or mall, where the man of their dream just falls into their life and a connection is made.

The Hollywood Effect

Thanks to the picture that books, movies, and television has created, women have the fantasy that they will meet a man for them while going about their day-to-day activities. This perhaps explains why a woman will always put more work into her appearance before going out on a series of errands. If a woman expects to be out and about for than more than an hour, then you can bet they dress to impress (or at least shower and apply make up, unlike what can be said about some of our male counterparts).

It can easily be assumed that women want to be approached during the daytime thanks to the fantasies that they have imagined. This is why it is not uncommon to see a girl doing schoolwork by herself at a Starbucks, or hanging around longer than needed in a Café. She probably did not need to leave her apartment to get work done, yet she got herself put together to be presentable during the day time before going out.

If a women puts all that effort into their presentation before going out, it seems safe to assume that they are indeed meeting men they are interested in during the daytime. Or at least for mindset purposes, assume this is true and your actions will reflect it. Yet it still seems that women flock to bars and clubs as a means of meeting men, now why do you think that is?

Approaching Women During The Day

Let me ask you a question, how many times a day do you think a beautiful women gets approached by a man that attempt to spark a conversation with her?

3 times?

5 times?

Or even a better question, how many times a week do you think she gets approached?

5 times?

10 times?

After interviewing some of the most beautiful women I have met in cities like New York City and Miami as well as asking my close attractive female friends that go out on a day to day basis (for example they always does their school work at Starbucks) I found that they all gave me the same number when it came to approaches from men during the daytime.

Each of these women are NEVER approached by men during the day time! It’s that simple. When I asked if there was ever a time a guy came up and tried to start a conversation with them they all drew a blank. Sure they would get the occasional once over from guys walking by, or maybe a rude sex remark yelled from a distance. But when it came to them doing their day-to-day activities, not so much as a simple “Hey, what’s up?” has ever been extended their way.

Taking The “Daytime” Dating Approach

We have to face the fact men are simply not approaching women during the daytime, yet women prepare themselves for the off chance that it may happen. It is even fair to say that women are more ready and susceptible to a man’s approach than they are at a bar or club. All their guards are down and there is that subtle fantasy that one day a man will genuinely spark a conversation with her and they will have a real connection.

So if you are not already approaching and chatting up women during your day to day activities, just think that myself, and all the single ladies in the world are encouraging you to take advantage of this untapped resource when it comes to meeting and dating women.

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Ever notice how some people are just always getting with attractive girls? Sometimes they are not even attractive men, but seem to leave the club with the hottest girl there. This has nothing to do with tricks or techniques when meeting women, but comes from the proper mindsets that they have developed.

Having The Proper Mindset

Someone that is naturally good with women does not have a set of pick up lines that they use and generally have no scripted game plan of any sorts when it comes to meeting women, yet it is their beliefs and mindsets that guide their actions in a naturally attractive way. The alignment of ones actions and mindset are what makes up dominance and is the first step to bringing out your inherited natural.

Before you can be in tune with others, you must be in tune with yourself. Now, I do not mean that is some preachy confidence developing way, I mean it as in order to bring women into your life; you need to know what you want from them.

This kind of guy knows what kind of girl he is attracted to. There can be many things that can draw your attraction to a girl, whether it is natural good looks, style, demeanor, personality, or a combination of them all, a guy that is good with women has his preference and you should too.

Avoid “Rating” Women

Another great piece of dating advice is to avoid “rating” women. A man that is awesome with girls does not rate them on a scale of 1 to 10 – this kind of scale is made up by people that do not have the ability to be good with ladies and it becomes a tool to create excuses about why they did not talk to a particular girl.

A man that IS great with girls only has two numbers, a “One” and a “Zero.” One meaning, you would “do” her, and zero meaning you wouldn’t. Now you need to understand, wanting to “do” a girl is not an objectification and should not be viewed as one. It comes from our inherited desire to want to reproduce, and denying that urge is the most “unnatural” thing you can do. The difference lies in how a smooth guy views having sex with a girl and is what makes them successful over the average sleaze ball in a club.

Being A Dominant, Confident Man

Wanting to have sex with a girl comes from a place of DOMINANCE when your desire for sex comes from something about her that triggers that urge. For example, I am very into music production and if I met a girl that displayed a unique or solid understanding of music, my sexual attraction to her would be ignited because of something about her that I find particularly sexy.

My sexual attraction does not come from a place of simply just wanting to have sex with her to have another notch in the belt. That difference in thinking is what makes a natural stand out and allows for sexual attraction to be reciprocated by the girl.

You may see many guys that have no shame in talking to every girl that walks by, however their dating success rate is low because they have not set standards for themselves. They are simply willing to settle on whatever is willing to settle with them. This behavior is very unattractive to any girl and only attracts girls with low self-esteem and other problematic issues.

More often than not, it just leads to a two-minute conversation followed by a harsh blow out. A girl shutting down a guy like this is no surprise though. How can a girl be expected to respect a guy that no standards or idea what he wants? It is essentially like he has no respect for himself. Very unattractive.

Understanding Your Desire For A Woman

The key to understanding this is by going out and taking note of what is it about certain women that draw your attention. To you, what makes some girls stand out over the others, start to find what it is that these women share in common to help you better understand your own desire.

That way, next time you see a girl that gets your attention, your desire for her is understood and gives you all the reason in the world to talk to her. Once you begin to understand the only reason you need to talk to a girl is because of your attraction to her, your approach and actions will come from a place of genuine dominance.

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When dating, approaching girls can feel awkward and staged. When someone that is simply good with women approaches a girl, they do not have a scripted line all made up for them to say to a girl. They simply see a girl they like and they go over to talk to them. It can be frustrating to watch, but in the end, it’s something that even the most awkward guys can learn.

Have No Fear

The key to this is understanding why they have no fear to start flirting with ladies. Any fear that you have of talking to girls comes from approval seeking behavior that you also must abandon. People that are simply good with dating girls never seek or care about approval.

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Question: My buddy and I were talking the other day and came up with this random subject – why is it that all the jerks get the good looking girls, and the nice guys get left out? Personally, I was raised to be nice and a gentleman. I’m only a jerk to those who act like a jerk to me. I just want to know why the hell do the jerks get all the girls and the nice guys don’t?

–YouTube Viewer

Women Want A Confident Guy

Confident guys – often mistaken for jerks – usually get the girl. Why? Because he asks her out and he’s comfortable being around her. He doesn’t exude a meek or timid attitude. Instead, he is comfortable in his own skin and knows who he is – and comes off that way to women. “Nice guys” sometimes are too afraid or shy to ask a girl out or even go up to a girl and talk to her. This is not the type of guy that gets a girl! A woman will look right past this type of guy and go for the confident guy instead, regardless of how polite and gentlemanly the nice guy is.

Women Want A Strong Guy

When a woman goes on a date with a man, she doesn’t want to be asked, “Where would you like to go? What would you like to do? Is this okay with you?” They want a man who will say, “We’re going to go to dinner here and then I’m taking you to go see a movie.” They want a man who can make confident decisions on his own without her input, but in a nice way. This is where being a nice guy can come in handy – she doesn’t want a rude man who is going to boss her around! She wants someone who is polite and treats her well, but is strong enough to take the reins in the relationship when needed. Women who go out with a pushover will push him over and tire of him quickly.

Jerks Don’t Keep A Girl

It may seem that jerks get all the girls and lots of them, but there’s a different story that goes on behind the scenes. While a “jerk” might get a girl to go out with him because he appears strong and confident, it is very unlikely that he is going to keep her. She will realize soon enough that she isn’t being treated well and move on to a different relationship. The way to get a girl is to be a strong, confident man that is comfortable asking a woman out and being assertive in the relationship, but the way to keep her is to be a gentleman and treat her like the lady she is.

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“Confidence is the sexiest thing a woman can have. It’s much sexier than any body part.” – Aimee Mullins

I remember as a teenager, being so self-absorbed, hoping my Prince Charming would come along and rescue me from my life as I knew it! One day I read an article in a woman’s magazine about my very predicament. This article informed me that there was no way Prince Charming was going to come rescue me. He wasn’t going to do it because sad, pouting women are not appealing to any Prince Charming.

You Won’t Catch A Prince By Being A Sad, Pouting Princess

This was before the self-help field and resources burst upon the scene. Within a handful of years, the same article would have communicated that any man who did rescue a sad, pouting woman likely had issues of his own. The pair would create a dysfunctional union sure to self-destruct in time.

All I know is that article was one of the things I’ve read in my life that turned my life around. I wish I’d kept it so I could thank the author. I must have instinctively understood what she meant and got busy becoming a funny and flirtatious young woman, allowing my sense of humor and easy laughter to dominate my interactions with people. It didn’t make me any less serious. When I hurt, I allowed myself to process what hurt. When I was angry, I dealt with it. I simply quit taking myself so seriously that I was getting in my own way of having a fun and rewarding youth.

I have kept that advice close to my heart, allowing it to inform my life ever since. From having sweet boyfriends in high school and college to attracting my husband to making friends and getting along well with acquaintances and strangers, generally content and happy people attract good stuff from other people.

Confidence Can Help You Avoid Bad Relationships

In my early thirties, I did get into a rut with a destructive relationship that eventually found me in a low grade depression for a number of years. During that time, the happy version of me was more of a comfortable mask as the relationship tore at my self-esteem, wearing down my confidence.

Towards the end of that phase of my life, I realized something that turned my life around once again. Perhaps because the relationship wasn’t serving me, I found myself studying and admiring other men. With those who were in relationships, I’d study and admire their women as well. Whether it was a Hollywood couple or the couple next door, I think I was looking for answers to my problems in the success other seemed to find.

My observations taught me something precious that goes along with the “Prince Charming likes a happy, confidant woman” thing. I learned that confidence is sexy. I mean it is the sexiest attribute a person can own! Confidence can turn less than attractive looks and turn them into glorious imperfections that you can’t wait to get close to!

Confidence Is A Turn On

Think about it. Patricia Arquette has those adorable crooked teeth. When is her smile the most appealing? Whenever she radiates confidence. Consider Hollywood’s leading men. Any number of them you would not find nearly as handsome without their delicious confidence in tact. Will Smith has funny ears. Who cares? His confidence is so attractive! Christian Bale is a perfect example. He’s played roles where he was insecure, even a little psychotic as well as roles where he exuded confidence. As Batman he is drop dead sexy. It goes far beyond the body building. It’s the confidence. In the roles where he is convincingly insecure, he doesn’t look like someone you want to get close to.

Personally, the chemistry between my husband, Joseph, and me when one or both of us is feeling especially confident; even if we come off a little cocky, is palatably richer. Because the chemistry is good, period; the fact that I can tell that confidence still makes a difference is convincing enough to me that I’m on to something here.

Besides, remember I told you about that destructive relationship where I wound up in a low grade depression? When I began practicing confidence, both the depression and the relationship unraveled, freeing me to have a new life where I got to attract Joseph. I highly recommend confidence as an aphrodisiac and general life enhancer!

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Social Influences

Believe it or not, society dictates how we feel about ourselves. Should it be that way? No. Is it that way? Unfortunately, yes. The images in the media, in magazines and in commercials teach us what “sexy” and “beautiful” are and if we don’t look, act or talk in the way that the media depicts as “sexy” and “beautiful,” then we aren’t either. Unfortunately, society’s ideas about what sexy and beautiful are happen to be incredibly narrow. And even more unfortunately, we use this as a standard against which to judge ourselves.

Acceptance From Others

In addition to using society’s ideas of what sexy and beautiful are to measure ourselves, we also wait for someone else to accept us (usually our partners) before we accept and love ourselves. This is incredibly backwards, because often in a relationship, you must love and accept yourself before someone else can fully love and accept you and you can fully love and accept someone else. Looking at yourself through society’s eyes and through your partner’s eyes won’t get you far – instead, you need to look at yourself with your own eyes and find the love and beauty within.

Being Sexually Confident

If you’ve taken a step to love and accept yourself before expecting anyone else to love and accept you, congratulations. But it’s likely that other people in your life are still looking for your acceptance of them before they start loving and accepting themselves. Are you giving your partner the love and acceptance they want and need? If not, start! Talk to your partner about where you’re at in the relationship, and what you need to be in the relationship. Have open and honest communication with your partner of where you stand, so you can be loved and accepted for who you are.

It takes a lot to shed the human need to be validated by society, but it’s something each and every one of us must do in order to start seeing ourselves in a realistic light. Society’s ideas about what is beautiful and sexy are skewed, and we need to learn to see ourselves as sexy and beautiful for who we are – because sexy is who you are. Make that scary jump right now and decide that you’re not going to be worried about whether society says you’re too fat or too thin, not pretty enough or not sexy enough. Accept yourself for who you are and learn to be sexy in your own skin. Love and accept yourself before expecting anyone else to love and accept you, and you’ll feel, look and be sexually confident.

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But you were scared to death to ask him or her for a date, and so you never did. Do you still wonder at times how your life might have been different if you had only had the courage to ask?

Are You In a Negative Dating Pattern?

If you’re starting to fall into a pattern of dating girls (or guys) who won’t reject you, just because they won’t reject you, and not because you like them, you’re cheating yourself and them as well. You’re kidding yourself if that person doesn’t know whether you are dating him/her because of a mutual attraction, or because you just want a date. This isn’t fair to you or them.

Aren’t you tired of feeling that way? Wouldn’t you like to go out with someone you really like and just have a good time without being afraid of messing it up?

People who are ready to improve their self-confidence levels can have this success without spending their entire lives wishing they had asked Mr. or Miss Right for a date. They become confident, and they know that they have what it takes to succeed in the dating world. Would you like to know what it takes to succeed?

Believe in Yourself

Self-confidence is being able to believe in yourself and your individual strengths and talents. This is part of positive self-image, and is important for success. If you don’t understand how to gain self-confidence, you won’t be successful in your relationships, or your life in general. This problem will prevent you from taking control of past problems and building your future.

Self-confident people have faith in themselves and can accomplish their goals. They focus on achievement, know how to learn from past mistakes, and can use those mistakes to their advantage. They know that a weakness doesn’t make them a failure. Instead, they understand how to find the cause of their problems and avoid allowing themselves to fall into the same traps over and over.

Causes of Lack of Confidence

Many things cause a lack of self-confidence. Often, people become paralyzed by fear, hypnotizing themselves into a pattern of failures and fear of failures that lead to a lack of self-confidence. This hypnotic pattern may be the result of a rejection or feared rejection in a dating relationship.

People try all kinds of methods to boost self-confidence. They pay professional counselors huge hourly fees to sit and tell them how to become more self-confident. Some counselors use behavioral therapy to help people boost self-confidence.

They teach their clients to boost self-confidence by setting goals. For example, they may learn how to shake hands firmly with another person.

Why It Doesn’t Always Work

Usually, a person’s success in these types of therapies is measured by the completion of a series of tasks that start with simple ones, and then proceed to more difficult tasks.

This may help people to learn behaviors linked with self-confidence, but does not change people’s self-concepts or help them fix the underlying problem that caused the negative self-image.

Positive self-talk is another method of boosting self-confidence. Psychology classes teach about self-fulfilling prophecies. People are most likely to accomplish only what they think they can accomplish.

Therefore, if people only see themselves as failures or low achievers, this is what they will become. However, if people see themselves as high achievers who can succeed, they will achieve this goal too!

How Hypnosis Can Help You Gain Confidence

Hypnosis also helps people in building self-confidence. Through the same type of self-hypnosis with which people learn to fail, they can learn to become successful. They learn positive words and ideas that allow them to feel more self-confident and accept strong behavioral suggestions.

Traditional hypnotherapy (direct post-hypnotic suggestions) is very effective unless you are the type of person who prefers logic or critical thinking. If you are, traditional hypnosis will likely not be very successful for you.

A Better Hypnosis Alternative

Ericksonian Hypnotherapy is better suited to people with an analytical personality. The suggestions are buried or hidden within conversation or metaphors, so it is very difficult to throw up conscious blocks to the suggestions.

A newer, alternative treatment that can be used to encourage self-confidence is Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). This original therapy can even use thoughts that cause low self-esteem to trigger thoughts that will create self-confidence!

NLP can help people to relate the feelings from past memories of achievement to the here and now. By using a method called anchoring, people can be helped to find past memories of positive self-confidence, and anchor those moments to the present.

When that person needs a boost, he or she simply triggers that anchor to draw upon strengths formed through past experiences to be successful in the present.

NLP is uniquely easy and yet powerfully effective. People don’t have to remember the pain of past problems or schedule long counseling appointments to regain their self-confidence.

NLP alone works for almost everyone who approaches it properly. Most clients who have tried NLP gain self-confidence very soon after starting the therapy.

A negative self-concept can prevent people from becoming successful and keep them from making their dreams come true. Many treatments are available to help people improve their self-confidence.

My experience indicates that the most successful intervention is Neuro-Linguistic Programming, which helps a person to use the same thought processes that are creating a problem, to eliminate it.

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I realize that expressing my discomfort over the fact that these days both sexes expect that she will call him for that first date is a favorite drum I beat.

Time and couples have proven that when a woman allows a man to pursue her, if a relationship ensues, the relationship has a better chance of survival.

That means letting him call her first.  It means letting him speak first with his voice, though she may speak first with her eyes and body language, giving him encouragement to pursue her.

Calling a Man in a Way That Allows Him to Maintain His Masculine Energy

Given that women call men for dates and that men expect them to, here’s how to do it in such a way that he gets to maintain his sexy position holding the masculine energy and she gets to maintain her sexy position holding the feminine energy!

In the movie, “Happy Go Lucky,” Poppy is a thirty-year-old single female, living in London.  With her carefree attitude, it is no surprise that she is a successful grade school teacher.  The fact that she is single doesn’t bother her a bit.  In fact, the romantic relationship she begins doesn’t occur until the very end of the film.

She has a problem with one of her students becoming violent.  A social worker named Tim gets involved.  He turns out to be compassionate and effective.  A handsome man, he and Poppy spark to each other instantly.

After their session with the student, Poppy walks Tim to the door where they have a flirtatious conversation and reveal their interest in each other.  Tim asks Poppy if she would like to go out sometime.  She giggles a flirtatious and humorous affirmation.  He invites her to give him a call and gives her his phone number.

As Poppy’s life is full, she has plans for the weekend and doesn’t get around to calling him until Sunday.  They flirt on the phone until she finally asks, “So, you fancy going out with me sometime?”  They then arrange for the following Friday.  The way the date is depicted on the screen is delightful in its charm.

Later, at his apartment, they make love.  At the foot of his bed, Tim encircles Poppy’s waist with his hands and kisses her repeatedly while she stands in a pose of surrender with her arms akimbo.  When she finally takes his head in her hands and caresses him, her touch is visibly warm and inviting.

The Depth of Their Intimacy

It is riveting as this carefree woman, easily taken for being silly, shows up as an excellent lover.  Their intimacy the next morning as they putter around his apartment reveals the same tender depth.

He takes her home later in the morning because she has an appointment to keep.  She winds up having a stressful day and doesn’t talk to him until the afternoon of the following day.  Their conversation is flirtatious and fun as they revel in the possibility that they are falling in love.

How She Maintained Her Femininity While Allowing Him to Maintain His Masculinity

How did Poppy maintain her femininity, making space for Tim to maintain his masculinity; thereby, creating an energetic field where he would continue to pursue her?

First, Poppy isn’t needy, clingy, or suffocating.  Her life is full.  It isn’t empty because she doesn’t have a man.  When this man comes along, even as she is receptive to his interest and advances, she remains independent and confident.  That is such a turn on!

Confidence is Key

By waiting to call him for that first date, she further communicated her confidence.  She also spoke to him in a language he understood.  When a man is interested in a woman, he may take his time calling her, especially if his life is full.

When a man takes a woman out on a first date, he can take up to three weeks to call her back!  It can take a man that long to realize he misses her and wants to be with her again.  In the meantime, his life is full of work and other obligations.  For her to take a day or two before calling him back feels natural to him.

When they scheduled the date for five days later, she communicated her confidence once again.  Women who feel needful for a man in their life are quick to arrange for a date as soon as possible, preferably the very same day the call is made.  Such quick scheduling communicates a woman’s neediness, serving as a yellow caution flag.

Again, after their first date, twenty-four hours transpire before she hears from Tim.  She had a harrowing experience the day before, yet did not call him to share it with him.  Instead, she processed the experience with her flat mate and best friend, Zoe.

This is a significant part of the recipe for a confident and sexy woman!  Her life is full because not only does she have satisfying work, but also she has close women friends with whom she can talk and listen and they can process their feelings and lives together!

She doesn’t need her romantic relationship to meet all her emotional needs.  If she isn’t currently in a relationship, such independence and confidence make a woman very attractive.  If she is currently in a relationship, it contributes to the health of the relationship and the happiness of the individuals in it!

A man getting to be the man and a woman getting to be the woman within their romantic relationship is delicious.  I am thrilled to discover that a man can give a woman his number, expecting her to call first, while they both maintain their same gender energy.  It bodes well for the day they fall in love!

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Persuasion is everywhere, used by all of us, all the time.

Somewhere it’s especially noticeable (and vital, if you want to be successful) is in the game of attraction and seduction. For a man to pick-up a girl, that is: find, approach, talk to her and arrange to take it further, he MUST understand and be able to use persuasive psychology.

And it’s that fact many men are surprised by when they hear it–that being successful with women isn’t a God given talent or a roll of the dice; it’s a skill like anything else. Today you’re going to learn a little about that skill.

We’re going to look at a special persuasive psychological technique that, when used, massively increases your chances with the ladies. It’s called ‘The Add-On Principle’.

How The Add-On Principle Works

Picture the scene: You’ve got talking to a girl and been chatting for a little while. You can tell she’s enjoying the conversation and think that she’s quite attracted to you, too. You decide you’d like to make something happen with this girl and see her again real soon but you aren’t sure of the best way to go about making that a reality.

You don’t want to ruin the positive dynamic that you’ve worked so hard to create and you definitely don’t want to scare her off or get rejected. So, what can you do? Well, first of all, what do most guys do when they’re in this situation? I’ll tell you, they take one of three routes:

Route #1: CLICHÉD NUMBER REQUEST

The first route has been taken so many millions of times in the past that it’s nowadays almost an act of parody. It’s asking the girl for her number. Taking this route is, 9 times out of 10, a Plan B at best.

When you ask a girl for her number you not only give her control of the situation (which means she can very easily say no or slip you a phoney number), you also highlight that moment of the conversation as what it really is: an attempt at picking her up. When she realizes this, she’s turned off.

No girl likes the idea of being picked-up because it seems sleazy and dangerous. For a girl to allow herself to be picked up, it must feel natural and unforced.

Route #2: GOING FOR IT

This route’s most often taken at night, in bars, clubs and parties.  Namely because the availability of alcohol makes this option seem a good idea.

‘Going for it’ means a guy will try to kiss the girl or cop a feel a little while after talking to her. Perhaps he’ll do it while they dance or as the venue is closing and they’re leaving. Again, it’s a bad idea because it makes the girl feel used and not in control.

Route #3: BOTTLING IT

This option, quite simply, involves choking at the last second, being unable to go through with a  ‘closer.’ The conversation’s gone great but the guy just doesn’t feel confident enough to propose meeting up again or something along those lines. As you can imagine, taking this route is a bad idea in regards to being successful with women.

So What Do You Do To Actually Get The Girl?

The three routes above are bad, so what route can you take? Well, it goes without saying that you HAVE to run the risk of using a ‘closer’ if you want to see the girl again.

Therefore, your goal is to make your offer, in whatever form it might take, seem like a natural, obvious, fun option for the girl to take. To achieve this, you should justify what you’re suggesting with a REASON you should both do it.

For example: “Let’s swap numbers so we can talk about that book we both like.” Or, “We should get a coffee or hot chocolate some time, because I know a great little place that’s just opened and think you’d really like it.”

When you follow up an offer (such as swapping numbers or going for a coffee) with a reason for doing it (to talk about something or because you know a nice little new place) you make the offer seem ATTRACTIVE and a NATURAL thing for the girl to say yes to. This is the essence of ‘The Add-On Principle’.

When you employ it, try to always use the words “So” and “Because.” Our minds, when we hear these words, associate them with good reasons, they back things up for us in our heads.

You can use this principle any time you want a suggestion you’ve made to a girl to be accepted and agreed to. For example: “Shall we go over and look at the jukebox, so we can put on some tunes we both like?”

You’re taking away any hard work the girl needs to do in deciding whether or not she wants to go ahead with what you’re suggesting, simply because you’ve already given her a valid, natural-sounding reason to say “YES!”

Try it…you’ll be amazed at the results.

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It usually goes something like this: you’re in a group, talking to a couple of girls. You’re with a friend or two, perhaps having drinks in a bar or at a party. You’ve got your eye on one girl in the group in particular and want to make something happen, make a bit of a connection.

Thing is, she’s proving the hardest to connect to. Sure, she smiles and talks to you nicely and politely, but she’s not returning your flirtatious gestures and comments much, if at all. It’s like she’s playing hard to get or something, whereas her female friends seem to be much more playful and flirty.

How To Know If She’s Really Interested In You?

This doesn’t happen because you aren’t her type or just because sometimes these things happen (or don’t). There’s a different, special reason the girl you’re interested in doesn’t appear to be interested in you and it’s got a lot to do with psychology and social standing.

You see, when you show you’re interested in a good-looking girl who’s with her friends, you inadvertently bump up her ego and feeling of self-worth.

She knows you’ve chosen and are most interested in her and likes this feeling of elevated importance. However, she also knows that if she reacts by becoming really flirty and obviously attracted to YOU, she’ll lose the higher social value she has over her friends (probably the reason you targeted her in the first place), so she therefore maintains her unattainable, “I’m a bit too good for you” status.

Use Reverse Psychology to Turn Things Around

However, you can blow this problem out of the water by using DEFLECTION THEORY. You turn the situation on its head and reverse the psychology of your target female by deflecting your attention AWAY from her and ONTO one or more of her friends.

When you show her friends (who have lower social value/worth than your target female) more attention and affection, you challenge her ego. So, in an effort to regain her superiority in the hierarchy of her circle of friends, the girl you’re really interested in will subconsciously invest much MORE interest in you by flirting and being playful.

As so many women do, she gives into wanting what she feels she cannot have and, of course, you’ll be happy to have her. She is, after all, the hottest of the group and the one you wanted in the first place.

How To Deflect Your Attention Onto One Of Her Friends

Here’s how to deflect your attention onto one of her friends to make her (the girl you want) feel as if her ego has been challenged and thus make her feel an instant and undeniable desire to get your attention and “win” you back.

Use Strong Eye Contact When Talking to All of the Girls

However, when you’re talking to your target female, occasionally glance away and towards one of the other girls (who will probably be talking amongst themselves or to your friend/friends if you’re with any) and give a slight smile before looking back at your target.

This jackhammers a sense of competition into the subconscious mind of the girl you’re really interested in and immediately makes her want to fight for your attention.

Casually Make Physical Contact With Her Friends More Than Her

For example, touch them on the side of their arm to get their attention or when laughing and joking.

Face Her Friends More Than Her

When sitting down or standing around talking as a group, face slightly more (as in, the direction of your body/torso) in the direction of one of her friends more than her.

Using deflection theory to challenge a girl you’re interested in’s ego and therefore make her want you more is just one psychological technique you can use to boost your pick-up game. Combine it with others and you maximize your success with the opposite sex in ways most men have and never will experience. You can be the guy that gets the girl!

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(Note: In fact, I even recommend you try my top places for picking up that are not bars. They are WAAAAAAAY better than ANY bar and you’ll see a massive leap in your success rates with women.)

As you know, women don’t usually go to bars on their own. They go in groups.

Approaching Groups of Women Can Be Scary!

Approaching GROUPS of women can be extremely daunting and if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can fail BADLY with groups and like a pack of wolves they can rip you apart. I’ve seen men get cussed at, totally ignored and even drinks poured over them.

But if you do the approach RIGHT, then your success with a group of women can usually yield great results.

Whenever I suggest approaching groups of women I get LOADS of guys looking at me as though I’m from another planet. I realize that lots of guys probably don’t have the initial confidence to simply walk up to beautiful women they don’t know. Don’t worry, this can be easily solved. I’ll give you some simple tips here.

SIDE NOTE: If you have a major confidence problem then don’t worry, I have an advanced 155-page E-book called HypnoDate which almost exclusively goes into increasing your confidence with women – and it works through the power of self-reprogramming so it doesn’t matter how shy you are, this thing WILL work for you. But guess what – it’s a bonus product that comes with my book at no extra cost.

Increasing Confidence Exercise In The Mall

Step 1. Walk around the shopping mall and when you catch a woman’s eye, smile at her. More often than not, she’ll smile back. To start with you can do this just with shop employees. Even if they don’t WANT to smile, they probably will. Good practice. And you might even brighten a few women’s lives a little.

Step 2. Once you’ve gained confidence in making natural eye contact and a smile with staff, you could move onto other women in the mall. I’m not suggesting big weird freak smiles, just nice, natural friendly ones. A lot of women will smile back at you.

Step 3. Here’s where it might seem a little weird, but this really does help and practice and repetition will make this lots easier. Just say “hi” with a smile to women (and men if you like) as you walk around the mall. It will feel HORRIBLE at first if you are not confident but slowly, after an hour or two, it’ll seem easy.

How Do You Feel Now?

After you’ve smiled and said hi to 20 or 30 women, you should start to feel good (as long as you don’t quit on your first negative response. This will happen and will happen when you’re approaching women to pick them up. You HAVE to learn to step out of your comfort zone if you want to be successful with women).

One of my male friends did the “smile at girls in the mall” technique and he actually ended up meeting the girl of his dreams and is still with her 3 years later. How’s that for effective!

Other Confidence Building Techniques

There are loads of other techniques you can do to build your confidence, most not quite as scary as the mall one. I go into others within my book…

Right, let’s assume you now have the confidence or at least the guts to approach women you don’t know in a bar (Again, I don’t just go into bar pickups in my book, in fact, I think the best places to pick up women are NOT in a bar. I think it’s everyday places where you’re not competing with other single guys).

Firstly, let’s suppose two girls are sat together at a bar. One is the ‘ugly’ one and one is the hot one (the one you like the looks of and would like to get to know more).

You see the girls. Go up to them and talk to them NOW! Don’t waste time. Within 3 seconds of seeing them, approach them. Some people call this the 3 second rule and I must say it really does seem to work.

If you see her and like her, it’s best not to think too much about the approach, or you’re more likely to work yourself into such a state that your approach will be ineffective or you’ll just pussy out altogether!

(Don’t worry I’ll tell you WHAT to say when you get there in a future lesson). So within 3 seconds, go TALK to her!

ALWAYS, ALWAYS approach a woman from the side or an angle from the front. !!! NEVER from behind – IMPORTANT!!!

If you go up to the group at the bar and approach from behind you will INSTANTLY invoke a negative response, and they will be put on the defensive – for obvious reasons. ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS go in from the side.

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But how about the more obvious but actually less frequently discussed topic of verbal communication: how what we say and how we say it impacts on our lives and goals? That’s the subject we’re going to look at today.

Except we’re going to a get a little more specific and delve into how a guy can make easy, fun conversation with a woman, that helps lead to attraction and sexual chemistry between the two of you.

Let’s first get a grasp on a few pieces of background information. First off, how do most men make conversation with a  woman they’re attracted to? What do they do right, wrong or completely miss out from their talks with the opposite sex?

The best way to answer these questions is simply to identify the mistakes the majority of men out there make; things every guy, for whatever reason, chooses to do when talking to a girl, that hinder, rather than help, his chances of hooking up with her.

Mistake #1: ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS.

Lots of men worry that when they start talking to a girl, she won’t say much back. This outcome, standing there, suffering an awkward, embarrassing silence, is so much of a concern that they ask the girl question after question to avoid it.

The reason they bombard her with questions is because they think that the best way of getting and keeping the girl talking is by giving her more and more opportunities to say something, no matter what the topic happens to be.

Unfortunately, doing this sends out a very negative message. It actually shows that you’re nervous and would prefer her to do most of the talking, which often turns the woman off completely.

Mistake #2: NEVER SHUTTING UP.

This is the opposite scenario to the one above, but happens for the same reason. Some men, scared that the girl they’re talking to will up and leave any second, choose to talk endlessly in an effort to keep their attention. Again, this is immediately obvious as a sign of social inexperience and nervousness.

Mistake #3: BORING HER TO DEATH.

It’s not easy talking to a girl who’s beautiful, sexy and usually practically unattainable. So when a guy gets chatting to a girl he really likes, who’s hot and confident, he doesn’t want to mess it up.  After all, it might not happen again for ages!

So, in an attempt to limit the chance of saying something that might ruin the interaction and thus his chances with her, he subconsciously restricts the topics of conversation he brings up.

He talks about work, the weather, sports, current affairs, perhaps bombards her with a few questions on those subjects…and generally doesn’t push the boat out much.

Okay, so they’re 3 of the worst mistakes a guy can make when talking to a girl he likes. So let’s flip the coin and look at what he SHOULD be doing.

Objective #1: PROGRESSIVE QUESTIONING.

Choose what questions you ask the girl wisely. You don’t want to throw too many her way too quickly.

If you do, you give her too much control over the conversation and don’t provide her with a challenge. So, use progressive questioning. Ask her questions that she MUST give a detailed response to.

Avoid Yes/No questions and instead quiz her on things that require emotion-packed responses.

“Do you come her often?” is a terrible question. “What do you think this place could do to make it feel more lively and fun?” is much better, as it not only requires a more detailed reply than a simple “Yes” or “No,” it also probes the girl on what makes her feel good.

Objective #2: Don’t be afraid to let short pauses punctuate your conversation with a girl.

Many men panic when they hear a silence and jump in with another question or statement to fill it. Don’t make the same mistake. A confident, dominant guy, the kind of man women love, isn’t afraid of little pauses, because they’re natural and harmless. He simply, waits a second or two, sips his drink, smiles and goes with the flow.

Objective #3: It’s okay to use common topics of conversation when you first get talking to a girl.

But move away from the mundane stuff as quickly as you can and instead choose to tell engaging stories. Describe a great holiday you had, an amazing concert you recently went to…make it positive and interesting and you engage the girl’s emotions and make her want to tell YOU about her own good times. When this happens, instant rapport and sexual chemistry is born.

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So, how can a guy go about attracting more women? Here are three tips which, if followed, will definitely increase your ability to sexually attract women when you talk to them.

1. Appearances Do Matter

You’ll sometimes hear people say that as long as your personality is just right, then your looks don’t matter. These people are lying. Looks do make a difference.They either improve your overall level of attractiveness or they worsen it. Pretty simple really.

You still need a great personality to be really attractive, though (if you’re a good-looking idiot, you’ll be nowhere near as successful as a not-so-good-looking awesome guy). But, that said, making yourself look as good as possible is never a bad idea.

Forget about your physical features, because, good or bad, they aren’t going to change. Concentrate on your clothes and your hair (facial and head). You need to look trendy to your main target market (the women you’re most interested in attracting).

This might mean looking in magazines and at the mannequins in certain store windows to see what ‘works’ and what doesn’t. Don’t reject the idea of adjusting the way you dress, because first appearances are so often used as measures of the kind of guy you are.

Everyone does it. If you see a Goth, you assume certain things about them. When women see you, you want them to assume that you’re a fashionable, socially-aware guy. Show this through your clothes and your hairstyle. Develop a strong sense of identity and display it.

2. Learn the Art of Good Conversation

Good conversation with women (whom you want to attract) means four main things.

1. It is genuinely interesting and engaging

2. It is fun and addictive

3. There is no pressure

4. There is room for playfulness, teasing and flirting

Never start a conversation with a woman you want to attract on a serious note, because the first thing you talk about sets the tone for everything that comes later on. Don’t go down the obligatory routes, like, “What do you work as?” or “What kind of stuff do you like?”

You need to set the conversation off on an interesting and engaging note. Ask an unusual question which the woman will enjoy answering.

You then need to make sure you don’t fall into the ‘back-and-forth trap’, which is when you ask a question, she answers, then she asks a question and you answer, etc.

Worse yet, you don’t want to fall into the trap of you asking a stream of questions and her giving short answers. To avoid both of these problems, you should make sure you describe things in detail, in an interesting way. It’s good to tell a short story which is really interesting and funny, because it encourages the woman to do the same.

Many men avoid saying too much because they don’t want to take up too much time in the conversation, in case the woman gets bored. They don’t realize that by having the confidence to talk and describe interesting things, then hand the speaker role back to the woman, a man demonstrates social skill and, as a result, becomes more attractive to the woman.

3. Create Opportunities to Succeed

Without the chance to put the things you’ve so far learned into practice, you have no hope of attracting more women than you currently do. It’s like learning to strike a golf ball perfectly but never playing against someone in a real game.

So, you need to start going out regularly. You don’t need to spend a lot of money. Just pick a local nightclub, or some other highly populated social venue, and make it your second home. Force yourself to approach groups of people containing attractive women and start conversations with them.

You’ll soon see what works and what doesn’t and you’ll learn at lightning speed. Bear the rules of good conversation in mind when talking to the women and, as long as you look pretty trendy and can engage and flirt with those women, you’ll attract them.

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After all, how are men supposed to know what each girl’s looking for without asking?

If you DID ask, you know your chances would be small, after all, no girl wants a guy approaching her with needy questions. She wants a confident man who somehow seems to know what she’s after and can give it to her.

So how do you do it?

How do you become the man that effortlessly exudes confidence, dominance and presence, without turning into an arrogant poser or desperate wannabe?

Exude Confidence

The answer lies in psychology. It’s at the heart of all persuasive social situations, and absolutely central to the success of any guy’s attempts at attracting and seducing women. Quite simply, by learning the CORRECT psychological rules, principles and tactics, any guy can play and WIN at the game of seduction.

For example, let’s look at one such psychological technique, that used correctly boosts any guy’s chance of getting a girl’s number or hooking up with her at a later date by at  least 50%, each and every time he uses it. It’s called option limitation and works on the following principle of human nature.

It’s All About the Number of Choices

When someone’s presented with only a single choice, often their natural reaction will be to rebel against it and go their own way. However, when given 2 or 3 options, the opposite occurs: they feel their intellectual freedom has been respected and they make their choice from the variety of options they’ve been presented with.

You can use this universal psychological principle when picking-up or seducing a woman by carefully constructing how you pose important questions or phrases while talking to her.

For example, most men think saying: “Can I have your number?” is an okay way to finish a conversation that’s gone well with a girl. But a much more powerful and effective way of saying the same thing would be to use option limitation.

A Better Close

Something like: “It’s been nice to meet you. Shall we swap numbers or maybe grab a bite to eat and a drink tomorrow?” What you’re doing is presenting the girl with a choice between good and better. Whichever she says yes to, you win.

Don’t Let Her Create Her Own Alternative

If you only give her one option, as in the first example, she’s likely to create her own alternative, which means there’s a chance she won’t say yes to the option you gave her. When she subconsciously recognizes that she’s been given a choice between multiple outcomes, she feels her intellectual freedom has been respected and she chooses one of them.

So, always use option limitation to give the impression there’s a variety of options available to the girl, even though each one is fine as far as you’re concerned. And to strengthen the effect of option limitation, always try to separate the choices you give the girl with the word “or.”  When people hear “or” they automatically recognize that they need to make a choice, and therefore do just that.

Option limitation is just one example of how, whether they know it or not, men who are successful with women CREATE that success for themselves – not through luck or good fortune.

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This commonly felt sense of importance regarding the need to be consistent within ourselves can be exploited when attempting to seduce a woman. One seduction technique that makes use of this concept is called ‘The Power of Yes’.

The Power of Yes

Here’s a common scenario most men have experienced at some point or another in their lives. You find yourself talking to a girl, maybe you approached her and consciously started a conversion, or perhaps the chat began unplanned, naturally. Either way, you’re enjoying each other’s company.

After a while, it dawns on you that you and the girl you’re talking to are going to have to go your separate ways pretty soon, which poses a slight dilemma: how can you make it so this isn’t the first and last time you two are together and instead arrange for it to progress into something further? The obvious route to take is to perform a ‘closer’.

A closer is when you make a conscious effort to get a girl’s number, swap both your numbers, arrange to meet up again soon, or otherwise cross that social “getting to know you” line. Thing is, you don’t want your closer to crash and burn, you want the girl to happily agree to whatever it is you suggest.

How Can You Ensure You Close?

So how can help ensure that happens? You use psychology, specifically, ‘The Power of Yes’ technique. The technique involves getting the girl you’re interacting with to give several positive ‘yes’ responses to your questions in quick succession.

Doing so helps develop an internal sense of positivity in the female that carries over in her mind to when you perform the actual closer and tips the balance in the direction of agreement to your request or suggestion.

Be Subtle and Casual

You can do this by using subtle and casual responses after she says things, like: “Really?” and “Do you?” Match your response to what she’s just said and ensure it takes the form of a question that you’re sure will prompt a ‘yes’ response from her. Getting between 3 and 6 of these positive responses is usually enough to allow the principle to work.

Avoid Negative Responses

At the same time, avoid asking questions or saying things near the end of your conversation, just before you’re about to close, that could possibly evoke negative reactions or “no” responses from the female.

The reason this technique works so well is because of the natural human phenomenon mentioned at the start of this article; people feel it’s important to be consistent and congruent in the things they say and the situation they’re in.

After responding to you positively half a dozen times, a natural inclination is created in the female’s mind for saying ‘yes.’ She’s gotten used to it. When you finally suggest going for a bite to eat tomorrow or visiting that museum together you told her about, the most natural and consistent response in her mind is a responding “Yes!”…it just feels right.

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What does this mean to you?

It is MORE important to pay careful attention to HOW you say things, and HOW you stand and HOW you act than it is to WHAT you say (at least initially).

You see, you could have the BEST game in the world and be able to really get any woman to like you loads, for example online, but if you used those same successful techniques in the real world and lacked obvious confidence, lacked eye contact etc. You would simply CRASH and BURN!

Honestly, body language is SOOOO important in attracting women. Later in the course we’ll go into how you can use the female’s body language to READ her mind and know what she’s thinking. This article is about YOUR body language.

Ok… So, I’ll cover the basics as the advanced stuff is beyond the scope of this article.

Body language basics:

1. Smile

You have to make the female feel at ease and comfortable that you are a friendly and fun guy and you are not a psycho as quick as possible. Especially when talking to her for the first time. You also need to let her know that you are confident and comfortable around women.

A big and genuine smile is the best way to do this. It works. In fact, if you ever get an Ice Queen that you can tell is about to give you the “dead eye”, give her a big smile. Practice smiling at random people. You’ll be surprised by how many people smile back and at how many doors open to you. Smiling WORKS. Just don’t make it a cheesy, fake smile

2. Eye contact

As you know there’s nothing worse than staring at a woman’s chest or even looking. It makes you just like all the other guys who drool over her. If anything you should use all your skill to NOT look at her chest – she’ll wonder why her womanly powers don’t work with you and she’ll seek your attention and subconsciously TRY to get you to look!

When talking to her, try to maintain eye contact. Not too much because it can be intimidating, but if you aim to have eye contact with her around 70% of the time you are talking, this should be comfortable for most women. Don’t stare like a crazy man, just be natural but if you naturally look away or are slightly shy when it comes to eye contact, make a conscious effort to have a little more.

Eye contact can make serious connections within people. They say the eyes are a window to the soul and I think there may be some truth to that. There are even speed dating type events being run that involve just staring into each others eyes – and from what I hear, they are pretty successful.

Maintain eye contact. Not too much, about 70% of conversation time. Be natural.

3. Upright posture

Guys can get away with a bit of a hunch, but women really do prefer men with straight, upright postures. Look at all the big film actors like Pitt, Cruise etc. They all have good posture. It says to a woman you are confident, healthy, and strong (at least in mind).

It’s just generally more attractive and says lots about who you are. Plus it’s good for your back and will help strengthen your back muscles making it easier to maintain.

Get into the HABIT of having an upright posture.

4. Gesticulate with open palms

You will not hear this tip anywhere else (or if you do, it was almost certainly copied from this course).

I’ve gone into in depth studies of body language and this one is a good one to use in MANY circumstances. I’ve adapted it here after solid testing to picking up women, however, some people suggest that when combined with a few other verbal and non-verbal techniques it can even give you a 50/50 chance of getting out of speeding fines!

Anyway, basically, when you are talking to a woman and trying to make a point (that puts you in a positive light) or defend yourself (for example, a girl suggests you might be a player) you talk and using your hands you have open palms facing upwards. Keep your arms in front of your body with your palms facing the sky and smile as you talk.

It works VERY well on a subconscious level to suggest you are being honest and telling the truth. And if you want a woman to begin to trust you, making her think you are being straight with her, is important.

This open palm gesticulation MUST be combined with a smile to work effectively.

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For most men, approaching women is a tough task with very little room for mistakes or mess-ups. That is one of the reasons they fear the approach so much, because they do not want to fail.

So, what are the other reasons men hate approaching and talking to women and, more importantly, how can a guy successfully approach a woman and start talking to her without any fear of rejection or gut-wrenching feelings of nervousness?

Reasons Men Fear Approaching Women

1. They are scared of being rejected by the woman
2. They feel inadequate. They’re too fat, too thin, too short, too pale, too something.
3. They feel they lack the social skills needed to succeed. They don’t know what they’d talk about, how to make jokes, etc.
4. They are scared of looking like a desperate guy who is hitting on women
5. They are worried that other men will see what they are doing and socially punish them as a result

Fear of Rejection

So, first things first, why do men fear being rejected by women? If they don’t know the women they’re approaching, why should their opinions matter? Well, we all know that just because we don’t know somebody doesn’t mean we don’t care about what they think of us.

But the real reason men fear rejection is because the fear of rejection has been evolutionarily programmed into their brains. Like all other fears, it acts as a security device, which tries to prevent us from coming to any harm.

Hundreds of thousands of years ago, our ancestors lived in much smaller communities. Messing up with a woman in such a small tribe could easily destroy your chances of having kids. It’s really no wonder men still experience that pang of anxiety just before they walk up to an attractive woman with the intention, or hope, of talking to her.

Then come feelings of inadequacy. You could say that it’s because of feelings of inadequacy that men fear rejection. One leads to the other. Every man and woman has their own unique collection of personal inadequacies.

Regardless of what yours are, you’ll know what it feels like to think that they’re way too bad for any woman to look past them. Clearly this makes meeting a new woman very difficult.

Feelings of Inadequacy

The next reason on the above list follows on from the last two. First a man feels inadequate for some reason, then he fears being rejected and then, as a result of that, he avoids approaching new women and talking to them as much as possible.

This, of course, does nothing for his ability to successfully talk to, flirt with, and attract women. He avoids doing it and so avoids getting good at it.

The last two reasons are pretty self-explanatory. Because the guy feels inadequate and therefore inept at talking to women, he worries women will instantly identify him as a needy loser who wants to hit on and score with them. Clearly this is something he does not want to be seen as.

So! The big question is how can a guy approach women without feeling inadequate, without fearing rejection and without looking like a needy loser? Here are the general guidelines…

Tackle Sources of Innate Anxiety

This means identifying the things you truly don’t like about yourself and putting them into context. What are the things you are most scared of women identifying in you? Do you hate the idea of women looking at your big belly? Your small hands? Your sweaty brow?

Once you have identified your main ‘weaknesses’, you need to consider how much they matter to women. How will your weaknesses disadvantage the woman you want to talk to? A big belly won’t. Small hands won’t. A sweaty brow won’t. She’ll notice it, but it won’t change her psychology or physiology.

By getting rid of the sources of your innate anxiety, you free yourself up and allow yourself to be socially impressive and therefore sexually attractive.

Learn the Rules of Public Social Life

The reason it is scary to approach women in bars and on the street is because you don’t know them, and if you don’t know them, why else would you want to talk to them except because you want something from them? This is a big part of why men fear looking like a needy sleaze.

What you need to do is accept the fact that approaching strangers and talking to them isn’t the norm, then you need to bypass the obstacles which make it difficult.

Learn to ‘Open’ and Practice a Lot

‘Opening’ means starting a conversation with the woman you’ve just approached. It is an art form, but it nevertheless follows a strict set of social rules. You need to avoid looking overly keen from the outset, so try to start the conversation as if you’re walking by, then stopping because something has just popped into your head.

Talk almost a little bit over your shoulder to the woman when you speak your first words. Don’t put pressure on her by walking right up and standing in front of her. Also, make sure your opening line is strong. Don’t signal extreme sexual interest by complimenting her or flirting with her straight away. Don’t say “You’ve got really nice eyes, did you know that?”

Instead, ask something unusual, interesting and perhaps a little funny, like, “Hey, I’ve been having a discussion with a few friends. As a woman, do you think it’s okay for a girl to be stronger than her boyfriend?” She’ll almost certainly say it’s fine. Then you can say, “So you wouldn’t mind carrying him across the threshold on your wedding night?” And the conversation has begun…

So, identify your vulnerabilities and try to put them in context, then learn and think about the rules of social life, especially regarding talking to strangers, then learn a few openers and practice them a LOT. That is how you make approaching women anywhere easy.

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Take, for example, visualization techniques.

Visualization techniques are most commonly associated with people who are striving to achieve success in areas of physical excellence: athletes, body builders, endurance specialists, explorers and martial artists all employ the power of visualization to help them achieve their goals. But what is it exactly?

A common misconception is that visualization is the act of imagining something to help yourself achieve an end goal. This explanation, although not a million miles away from the truth, doesn’t accurately represent the true concept of visualization. Visualization involves truly envisioning two things in your head, with as much clarity and detail as possible. First is the act itself.

For example, leaping from the starting blocks at the crack of the gun, your muscles tightening, your body springing into action, each stride long and powerful driving you forward with super speed and swiftness. Second is the outcome: such as the winning of the race.

You picture yourself being the first to cross that white line, decelerating to the sound of a roaring crowd. Flash bulbs explode and while your chest heaves for air, you smile in the comfort of knowing you succeeded and came first. 

The result of visualizing both of these concepts is a powerful one. Your mind and body become more prepared and more capable because you’ve already practiced and gone through the motions of what is to come. Your attitude is more positive and productive and you gain the edge you need to truly succeed.

Visualization can be used in a variety of fields to help you succeed, even in attracting and seducing women. The same principle above applies, you must truly act out in your mind both  the act of meeting a girl and the outcome of whatever it is you’re looking for (be it sex, a relationship, or whatever.) Here’s a few pointers to help you do this:

1. Visualize Every Detail

Make a real effort to visualize each and every detail of what you want to happen during the act of meeting and talking to a woman. See yourself smiling and saying hi to a girl in a bookstore and her replying with a shy smile and glint in her eye.

Picture laughing and joking and being flirtatious. Even envisage small details, like you both taking a sip of your drink at the same time. Each and every visualized moment prepares your conscious and subliminal mind for actual real-life encounters. The more you visualize and the greater detail in which you do it, the more capable and prepared you become.

2. See The Ending Too

Once you’ve visualized the act of meeting and conversing with a girl, foresee leaving the bookstore or bar and going back to your/her place. Whatever outcome is preferable to you, picture it. See the colors, hear the sounds, feel the textures and smell the aromas.

3. Use Visualization Everywhere

Use visualization when you’re at home AND when you’re out looking for girls that catch your attention. Doing both ensures your mind is programmed in the most prepared, positive state possible: nerves disappear and confidence grows.

For more great visualization and confidence techniques, check out HypnoDate – a revolutionary manual that teaches men how to use special hypnotic principles to become masters of attraction and seduction, without the need for good looks, money or a flashy car. Check it out now at the HypnoDate website.

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Being unsure about something doesn’t mean you can’t do it, it just means that you don’t feel comfortable or calm about the idea of doing it. And, of course, when self-doubt creeps into your head, it’s bound to have a debilitating effect on your behavior.

Nowhere is this fact more evident than in the dating game. When a man doesn’t feel completely confident while talking to a woman, his chances of attracting her are drastically reduced, because his ability to appear attractive has been diminished.

The answer to this dilemma, predictably enough, is increasing the man’s confidence when talking to women by decreasing his feelings of self-doubt, anxiousness and nervousness. Let’s now look at how this can be done.

The process of increasing your confidence, and therefore your attractiveness, when talking to attractive women, can be broken down into four main steps.

Step #1: Understanding Women

This step could take a lifetime, but it really doesn’t have to if you take a simple, straight-forward approach to completing it.

First you need to avoid falling into the trap of thinking that women are like a different species to men, with completely different ideas, beliefs, needs and modes of behavior.

It’s true that women look for different things than men when dating, but their desires aren’t so different that they should be considered mysterious or unintelligible to men. They want to be made to feel:

- Good about themselves

- Happy

- Sexually attractive

- Valued

- Respected

- Admired

Men want to be made to feel these things too by the women they date. The difference is what it takes to make men and women feel these things. There are different routes towards the same goals, depending on whether the person in question is male or female.

So, to increase your confidence with women, you need to remember that although they are different to men, they still want the same fundamental things from men that men want from women. They just want them in slightly different quantities and, to get them, a slightly different route needs to be followed.

DO NOT let people tell you that women are mysterious. They are not. You just need to know what they want and how to give it to them. The same goes for men, from a female perspective.

Step #2: Become Skilled at Having Good Conversations

Before you even consider talking to a woman and attracting her, you need to become good at talking period. You need to become a skilled conversationalist, in other words. You need to be the guy that people talk to and, after the conversation, think, “That was awesome. I really had a good time talking to him.”

You achieve this by learning to develop the most important skill a good conversationalist can possess: emotion management. It’s all about how you make the person you’re talking to feel. What they think about you is governed by how you make them feel about themselves. But we’re not talking about giving them a motivational speech.

What you need to get good at is having a relaxed conversation in which the person you’re talking to respects you (because they see you as being of high social value, confident, etc.). Then you need to engage them, by hearing what they are saying, replying thoughtfully to it and offering your own input in the right way.

And then, most importantly, you need to inject energy and emotion into the interaction by laughing, smiling and generally expressing the right emotions at the right times.

So, make a conscious effort to become good at talking to people. Your conversations should be fun, interesting and addictive. You want people to really enjoy talking to you, then and only then can you expect attractive women to enjoy a conversation with you.

Step #3: Start Making Approaches

This is the hardest step so far, because it involves doing the thing you’re probably the most afraid of. But it needs to be done.

Start making a few approaches a week. You don’t need to start in a nightclub. You can begin anywhere. Your goal is to strike up a conversation with a woman and get it to the ‘hook’ point. The hook point is the moment in the conversation at which you can see and feel that the woman is engaged and dedicated to talking to you.

She would much rather be talking to you than not talking to you, basically. You need to go beyond polite, day-to-day conversation, into a verbal interaction which is genuinely based on getting to know each other.

Don’t expect too much of yourself early on. A one minute, boring conversation with a woman is a good a place to start as any. You’ll quickly learn what makes conversations go stale. It’s usually when you’ve asked about three questions and she’s answered them all.

Step #4: Tighten Your Skills and Begin Flirting

Once you have become better at talking to women in a general sense and can hook a woman in conversation quite frequently, then you can start to concentrate on your flirting. Flirting should be approached cautiously at first.

You don’t want to give away too much too soon. You should drop one teasing comment into the conversation and then gauge the woman’s reaction. If she responds by teasing you back, then you have a green light that she is attracted to you, which means you can gradually start flirting a little more.

You keep your teasing and flirty banter in line with the signals of interest the woman is giving you (her body language, the things she says, the way she touches you, etc.). If she isn’t giving you signals, then you need to liven up the conversation and get her attracted to you more, through your demonstrations of social skill and high social value.

These four steps, when combined, allow you to become habitualised to the process of talking to women. Your levels of anxiousness and self-doubt will lower and your feelings of confidence will therefore increase.

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Everyone is trying to diet so that they can be slim, sexy, desirable, and find love. In their search for love, singles often post profiles on Internet dating sites. As part of their profile, they routinely post 10+ year old pictures of when they were much thinner. And it is also common for them to miss-state their weight by 30 or more pounds.

But none of this is much help at convincing someone to instantly fall in love with them. That’s because when they eventually meet for dinner, a drink, or a cup of coffee, the truth is revealed.

Being Overweight is a Behavior?

Being on a diet is neither a pleasant nor natural way of life. Even though scientists tell us that all of the popular diets work and will make you lose weight, no one seems to be able to stick to them, for many complex psychological reasons. What many people don’t understand is that our unconscious mind compels us into behaviors that will benefit and protect us. And being overweight can be one of those behaviors.

When I tell that to clients, most of them respond with a look of “you ain’t playing with a full deck, you must be crazy, not me!” on their faces. Then they try to lecture me that I must be wrong, because being overweight is not a behavior; it is just the result or outcome of overeating.

Unfortunately they are wrong. Often being overweight is the result of emotional eating. Emotional eating takes place when a person is motivated to make him or herself fat, because by being fat they will protect themselves in some way.

How Eating Becomes Emotional

For example, if a person got their heart broken in a relationship, their unconscious might motivate them into a behavior that would prevent them from getting their heart broken again. In this example they are motivated to get fat to keep them out of another relationship, because that will eliminate the possibility of another broken heart.

The reverse can also be true. Someone involved in an unhappy marriage might unconsciously motivate himself or herself to become fat to keep them in the marriage for the sake of the children, or because they are afraid of being alone. As a matter of fact, there are as many different possible benefits that one can obtain from being fat as there are overweight people.

What Else Affects It?

There are also two other unconscious programs that cause the average person’s appetite and cravings for food and an urges to eat to get out of control:

A.  When you pair eating with any other behavior, the two behaviors become associated together at the unconscious level of mind. Thereafter, other behavior will trigger cravings for food and a compulsion to eat.  This is called a conditioned response. For example, if you eat when you watch TV, you will automatically feel an urge to eat each time you sit down to watch TV.

B.  When you feel tense, you feel compelled to put something into your mouth for relaxation and pleasure. This is the result of programming that you received as an infant. When you got cranky, your mom put a bottle in your mouth. You got distracted, relaxed, and probably fell asleep. Now when you get cranky (anxious or tense), you feel compelled to put something into your mouth for relaxation and pleasure.

So, How to Fix It?

Okay, okay, some of this psychobabble sounds pretty complicated, so what can you do to fix this situation? We discussed emotional eating, which makes the person overweight. And the “behavior” of being overweight then provides some sort of emotional protection.

Being a hypnotherapist and Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) practitioner, I use a technique called an NLP Six-Step Reframe. The reframe actually negotiates with the unconscious mind and gets it to assume the responsibility for making the client automatically substitute some other more acceptable behavior in place of being overweight. Since the new behavior will provide the same emotional protection (get the same outcome), the client loses the compulsion to eat to become overweight for emotional protection.

Hypnotherapy is a great tool for extinguishing the unconscious associations that cause the conditioned response type of cravings described in paragraph “A” above. And since the very essence of hypnosis is relaxation, hypnosis provides a powerful tool for triggering an overall feeling of peace and well-being, which eliminates the tension that causes the compulsion to put something into the mouth for relaxation and pleasure.

Self-hypnosis for weight loss can be a very effective method. I can only uncover the tip of the iceberg in this short article.

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In reality, it is one of the most common ways for men and women to meet each other, because clubs are social venues, people are dressed their best and the drink is flowing.

Possible titles:

How To Successfully Date a Woman You Meet In a Club

Do You Know How To Successfully Attract and Date Women You Meet In a Club?

How to attract and date a woman after meeting her in a nightclub or bar (original author title)

So, if you’re a guy who goes to nightclubs and bars, you should consider the possibility of meeting and attracting a woman in one of these places as a high one.

However, it’s pretty obvious you’ll never see any success unless you make a conscious effort to approach and talk to women you’ve never met before while in one of these social environments. So, what should the process of attracting a woman go like and how can you then date the woman you’ve attracted? Let’s take a look.

1. Scoping

Before you utter your first words to a woman in a bar or nightclub, you need to scope the place out. Of course, this doesn’t mean sitting in the bushes outside the place with some binoculars. Scoping means looking around you and getting a sense of what is going on.

- How many different groups of people are there nearby that contain one or more attractive females you’d like to meet? Just a couple? Dozens?

- What does the dynamic of each of those groups seem to be like? Do they look like they’re having a good time? Are they animated or looking bored?

- Are their any guys in the groups and do those guys look like they are the boyfriends of the girls? (If so, you should obviously respect that and look elsewhere.)

You should always do some scoping before approaching to get an idea of what you’re facing. Higher energy groups will require you to exhibit higher energy levels when you enter them, for example.

Bigger groups containing lots of girls will require you to engage all or most of them when you open, otherwise one or two girls could feel like you’re distracting them from their friends. You get the idea.

2. Approaching & Opening

This step is a tough one for most men, perhaps the toughest. It takes real balls to go up to a group of people and insert yourself into it uninvited. But that is what you must do. If you approach it (them) in the right way, it’ll go well.

You can’t hang around when approaching a group; you need to just head straight in there and use your opener. If they see you lurking nearby, clearly contemplating the idea of talking to them, they’ll see you as a threat or a distraction. Your chances of opening successfully will be shot.

Don’t run at them and barge your way in though. Just walk by, stop, turn to them (but don’t face them straight on, make it like you’re half about to keep on walking) and use your opener. Wait for a silence (or the best time to start talking), but don’t stand there waiting for 5 minutes for the perfect opportunity. As soon as one or two of them turn to look at you, start speaking…”Do you think it’s cool for a guy to carry an umbrella?”

Smile. Let them respond. The more positively they respond, the more you should turn to face them. Walk a little closer and create a bit of controversy to keep them hooked. “No way! I didn’t expect you to say that. [Turning to your target]You …maybe.”

When you see that they’re partially hooked (they’re smiling, facing you, talking in a lively way) you need to integrate yourself into the group more. Ask them to introduce you to their friends, etc. Go from there.

3. Conversation & Flirting

From this point onwards you need to gradually flirt with one or more of the girls and keep your flirting in proportion to the positive signals they are giving you which suggest they are attracted to you. If you flirt too much too soon, they will be put off. If you fail to flirt enough, things will go cold. Be economical. Drop in just a few really good examples of teasing as opposed to lots of weaker ones more often.

4. Closing

Closing means one of the following:

- Kissing the girl

- Getting her number

- Giving her your number

- Swapping numbers with her

The worst on that list is giving her your number but not getting hers. Avoid that. You should aim to swap numbers. Try to do this a long while before you go your separate ways. Don’t leave it until you’re just about to leave the nightclub and return to your respective homes, because it’s more likely to feel weird that way. Keep it casual.

Right after you both crack up laughing at something (a really high energy, positive moment), say, “You’re great. We should swap numbers.” Say that as you take out your phone, as if it’s a done deal…and she’ll happily comply.

5. Arrange Your Second Interaction

Forget all that nonsense about waiting 72 hours or 48 hours or two weeks or whatever it is before calling or texting the girl you’ve attracted and swapped numbers with. You’re in control. You’re a high value male, remember. Send her a text the next day which references something stupid or funny you did or said together when you first met.

This will give her the same positive emotional response when reading the text that she had that night. Enter into a short exchange of fun/teasing texts. After a while, text “You’re being very rude. When you are going to invite me for a candlelit dinner by the riverside?” It’s a playful joke, but it gets the message across in the right way.

As you can see, meeting, attracting and beginning to date a woman can be approached in a systematic way, but it’s very important that you remember what makes dating GOOD. You need to be genuine, with good intentions. Don’t be someone else; be the best version of yourself.

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You’re sweating.  Your throat is tightening.  Your heart beats faster and faster.  You pick up the phone and begin dialing.  This is it.  It’s make or break time.

You finger grazes over the last number on the dial pad and suddenly, in a fit of nervousness, you hang up.  A wave of guilt rushes through your head.  You begin to rationalize your cowardice.

"Tomorrow…yea, I’ll wait to call tomorrow.  She’s probably busy and it’s too soon to call anyways," you say to yourself.

Ten days later…

You are walking out the door and happen to glance at a small scrap of paper sitting on the top of your burrow.  It’s sitting there collecting dust.

"I should have called her sooner," you think, "She probably won’t even remember who I am.  Well, it’s too late now."

You let out a heavy sigh, pick up the scrap of paper and toss it in the trash can.

Procrastinating in your dating life?

Has this situation ever happened to you?  Have you ever been in a moment where you procrastinated in your dating life?  Have you ever lost the person of your dreams because you were too nervous to make a move?  Unfortunately, this hesitation is all too common, particularly for those of us that are still new to the dating scene.

Despite what Hollywood has taught us, there is never going to be that perfect magical moment.  You will never have that special love scene, where you swoop into each others arms and ride off into the sunset.  Life isn’t like that and you shouldn’t wait for it.

Less than perfect dating experiences

The truth is that your dating experiences will be less than perfect.  It’ll be scary.  It’ll be clumsy.  And it’ll be awkward.  That’s the way it is and you can’t think that you can avoid these things.  Better yet, you should learn to embrace them.  Rather than running away, work with what you have in the moment.

So how do you avoid the hesitation and take matters into your own hands?  Easy. You just keep pushing through the fear barrier and use whatever is at your disposal.

If all you have is a squeaky voice and a stomach full of butterflies, then go with it.  Even if it means failure.  Because if you don’t at least try, you’ll never know what would’ve happened.

You are not James Bond, with all kinds of fancy gadgets and perfect timing at your disposal.  No, you are MacGyver.  All you have is this little crappy Swiss Army knife and a roll of Duct tape.  The clock is ticking and you either use the materials you have with you or you fail.  That’s just the way it is, accept it and live it.

"Hi, this is MacGyver. We all know how these things work, so when you hear the beep, go for it." – MacGyver’s answering machine  

To learn more about Matt Savage, visit www.TheModernSavage.com.

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You’ve just gotten your new woman into bed, the lights are out (thank GOD!), and you’ve been pleasuring her to no end… touching… teasing… kissing… the place is ON FIRE.

You gently slide between her legs.

She gaps… and pulls you in closer… with her hands rubbing up and down your body… over your arms… over your back… and all of the sudden… out of nowhere… you UNCOMFORTABLY think to yourself:

“Oh shit, she just felt my fat roll”

or

“Oh shit, she thinks my arms are too skinny, I think she felt bone”

And at that single moment, a PRIMAL fear comes over you… “What if she… STOPS?!?”

Guys really don’t think they need to work out

I have to confess, in reality, no guy ever REALLY thinks that they need to work out, exercise, or get in better shape until a woman sees them naked. Sure, it seems like its a good idea… you know, for better health and all.

But you take a guy that’s standing naked for the FIRST time in front of a woman that he’s had his eye on… that he NEVER THOUGHT that he could land… and the phrase “sense of urgency” starts to take on new meaning.

When it hits

Do you think that this might play a little havoc on your inner game? You betcha it does.I’ve talked to your women.

What women say

And here’s what they’ve said.

Number 1: Most men that are ashamed of their bodies tend to be more TIMID in bed. They tend to lay on top of women, instead of pulling back… letting her see ALL OF YOU… including the “action” of your pecker moving in and out.

Number 2: Every man that they’ve been with that gets in better shape becomes a MUCH better lover overall. The “man” and his “skills” are the same… but her perception changes… as well as…

Number 3: Men that are in shape can DO MORE for LONGER than their out of shape counterparts. Lifting, moving, throwing, thrusting, etc… you get the drift.

Think about this for a second. Ask yourself this question. Is my woman thinking about ME when she masturbates? (she’s likely not)

And if she is…

HOW would those thoughts change if I was now built like a Greek God?

Food for thought…

Getting the proper proportions is simply a matter of applying the number one physical attraction metric for men… The Adonis Index.  To find out how to use the Adonis Index to generate subconscious physical attraction, visit the Adonis Effect website.

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You make eye contact and smile. She smiles back and decides to come over.  She gets closer and closer.

You suddenly get a tight little knot in your stomach; anxiety from not knowing what will come next.  Now she is standing in front of you.  Your heart is racing.

You barely manage to get out the words, “Uhhhh Hi.”  She says “hi” back with a look of intrigue. As she begins to speak, you begin to doubt.

You wonder what she’s thinking.  How could this beautiful woman possibly be interested in me?

After a brief moment of small talk, the woman walks away.  You begin to wonder, what the hell just happened?

You can’t help but feel rejected.  You obsess over what could possibly be wrong with you.  The next thing you know, several hours have gone by and you’re a big pile of anxiety.

What turned her off?

So what repelled this woman?  It could have been any number of things.  Was it your breath? Your insecure body language?  Your shortened height? Your hideous disfigured face?  The thing is, you will never know what drove this woman away.  This is the unknown variable of attraction.

Variables of attraction

There are many variables in a person that determines whether they are attractive or not.  There have been volumes written about the science of attraction.  Even many of today’s top dating gurus are constantly seeking ways to decipher the process of attraction.  However, with centuries of research and much discussion, there always seems to be one thing, one variable, that consistently makes a person attractive – confidence.

To be free from doubt; to have belief in yourself and your abilities. This is confidence.

Why confidence matters

You can have any number of physical flaws but if there is one thing you must have, it is confidence.  People call it by different names but it all stems from the same meaning.  For example, pick up artists call it “inner game”.  Self help guru’s call it the “Law of Attraction.” Athletes call it “the zone.”  It’s all the same; to truly believe in yourself and your abilities.

If you ask any woman what she looks for in a man, you’ll almost always get “confidence” as one of the answers.  It’s something that we all know  yet few of us utilize.  Why can’t everyone simply be confident and attract the person of their dreams?  Because confidence isn’t something you get over night.  It’s something that needs to be built over time.

How do I achieve confidence?

We generally achieve confidence in ourselves when we experience success.  You start with a small success, move on to achieving a bigger success and so on.  It’s a snowball effect.  You can’t start off by making a super giant snowball from the start because you will probably fail.  If you start with a little snowball and continue rolling it, you can turn something that was little into something big.  Little successes lead to big successes.  Each success gives you more and more confidence.

This is true in attraction.  If you’ve never approached a woman before, then you probably won’t have the confidence to take home a perfect ten the first night you go out.  You shoot for a small success first, persistently trying until you achieve it, then you move on to the next step in the process.  Start with approaching, then building rapport, then seducing.  Once you have had success with all of these, then you will have confidence, and this will cause attraction.

Persistence leads to success.  Success leads to confidence.  Confidence leads to attraction.

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Have no fear!  All you need to do is follow a few simple methods to help you get the woman of your dreams!

Do you want to go out and pick up a woman tonight, but have no clue where to start?

Most of your friends probably don’t know how to pick up women. Your dad probably doesn’t know (and lord knows your mom couldn’t tell you)!

Even the dating “experts” that you see in the media wouldn’t be able to give you the proper tactics on how to pick up women, because if they did -they’d never be able to appear on TV again! (Let’s face it, the mainstream media is extremely feminist and looks down upon anything that could help guys get laid!).

Bottom line: Picking up women is not a politically-correct topic!

You want some practical advice that can really work, that you can start to use right away. Fortunately, you found this article. So let’s get started!

What You DON’T Need

First off – here’s what you DON’T need to pick up women.

You DON’T need to be “male model” good looking.

This is the biggest mistake men make.  You have to realize that close to 85% of women care more about how a man makes them FEEL, rather than how he actually LOOKS. So if you don’t think you’re a very attractive guy, don’t worry! There’s still hope for you.

Next, you DON’T have to drive a fancy car, or spend a lot of money! Quite a few of the best Pickup Artists I’ve ever known spend $30 or less when they go out on dates, and more than one of them doesn’t even own a car!  (And the ones that do don’t drive anything special!)

You’ll find that women can be very forgiving when it comes to how much money you make or spend on them, if they LIKE you! And part of picking up women is to get the girl to like you, right?

Finally, you DON’T have to be famous, be a certain type of ethnicity or nationality, or anything else you can think of. The secret is to have a great personality – this will make any other obstacle you think you have to getting a girl to like you obsolete!  If you know the proper way to interact with women, nothing else matters.

Skyrocket to Success

Unless you’re already on the verge of becoming a master pick up artist, you’re probably not going to have phenomenal success right away using these tips and tactics. But if you apply these and other tactics over a period of time and learn from your experiences, you’ll find your success with women will skyrocket! In order to learn the quickest, you’ll want to go out as often as you can – particularly when you’re first starting.

You don’t have to go to nightclubs or other high-pressure environments to meet women, but they are great “practice grounds” because there are SO MANY women there to meet and talk to. Despite where you choose to go, you need to set aside some time every day to go out and pick up women – you’ll get better the more times you do it! When you’re first starting, you might not have a whole lot of success with the ladies.  But over time, as your experience builds, your confidence will grow.  Every success and failure you have is a learning experience meant to make you better at picking up women.

And Remember…

Remember: The more experience you have, the easier it’ll be.

The most important thing to remember about going out to pick up women is to gain experience! When you do go out to gain this valuable experience with the ladies, try and look as good as you possibly can! (Notice here that I’m not saying you have to be “good looking.”  I’m saying you need to “look good.”  There is a big difference between the two.  You don’t have any say about what you look like, but you DO have a say in your appearance – your hairstyle, the clothes you wear, what cologne you put on, etc.)

Look the Part

Dress for success: Wear clothing that fits you, that’s color-coordinated and looks good on you. If you have fashion-conscious friends who can help you pick out a wardrobe (particularly if they’re women), now’s the time to recruit them. It’s true that you don’t need fancy threads to meet girls, but why not make it easier by wearing nice clothes, why wouldn’t you do it? Besides, looking good will also make you feel more confident!

Be on the lookout for opportunities to do pickup. You can find attractive women just about anywhere. And if you notice that she’s given you the eye, it would almost be a sin not to start talking to her!

The Steps

Finally, every good pick-up follows a structure. Its a series of steps you can actually REPEAT time and time again and get similar results. Here’s the structure:

1. Find the girl.
2. Meet her.
3. Talk and Gain Rapport.
4. Build Attraction.

These four simple steps is all you need!  You’ll find that if you can just meet the women you want and gain rapport with them, you’ll easily be able to build attraction with them too.

To find out more, sign up for Joseph Matthew’s free Meet Women Secrets newsletter for all the most recent tips and methods for meeting and seducing women.

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Well, that depends on the nice guy.

What if you’re a total geek, have absolutely no social skills, no self confidence, and no idea where to start with girls?

Can you still get the girl?

We think so, if you’re willing to follow a few simple guidelines…

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I am a total geek. Yes, the guy who sits in a computer store drooling, or beating a video game, or basically destroying people on the front in Dungeons and Dragons…

It’s very demoralizing to know that all your good at is blasting people online.

How can a guy like me have good confidence when I know I’m the ultimate geek? I really need your help on this.

– Carl, Colorado

How To Embrace Your Inner Geek And Still Get The Girl!

Perception Is Everything

If you don’t feel confident or portray confidence, no one else is going to pay attention to you. So what you have to do is supercharge your own inner confidence.

Perception is everything. You have to work on how people perceive you, how you look and how you carry yourself.

Before anyone else can accept you, you have to accept yourself for exactly who you are today. No one else has the right to judge you or to tell you that you’re anything less than perfect.

It’s time to embrace what you call your “geekiness”.

Strengthen Your Inner Confidence

The secret to being a good salesman is to believe in the product you are selling. And when you are dating, that product is you…

And when you are dating, that product is you.

You say that you’re a geek, but the way you say it makes it sound like a bad thing.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being a geek!

When I think of a geek, I think of someone who’s highly intelligent but generally lacks confidence in their own social skills. You should consider yourself lucky, because you’re either born with intelligence or you’re not. Social skills, on the other hand, can be learned.

The moment you start to truly accept yourself for who you actually are on the inside, others will too. You need to focus on your strengths and accept yourself for who you are. If you try to be someone else you’ll just come across as fake.

Another important point here is that as soon as you stop caring about what other people think and recognize that you are perfect just the way you are, that’s exactly when other people will start to see the real you, rather than just your lack of confidence.

Looks Do Matter

I’m not talking about physical looks and bodily build.  I’m talking about paying attention to the way you dress and basic grooming skills. You can be the best looking guy in the world, you can be the smartest guy in the world, but if you look funny and smell funny, forget it! No girl will want to be around you.

So pay attention to how you look and smell.

Dress nice. When you dress nice you feel better, stronger, and more confident. If you’re running around in a t-shirt and sweats and haven’t taken a shower, you feel funky. Right?

Take a shower, shave your face, and put on clean clothes before you leave the house.  And actually leave the house for at least an hour a day. Don’t underestimate the power of fresh air.

The question then becomes, do you really know how to dress nice?

If not, consider hiring a professional for one or two sessions to help you look and feel like you think you should. This is a topic that guys often feel weird about and think that only gay guys get help with their wardrobes…

Get over it, and hire a professional!

Beware Of Your Friends

Here’s a big warning: beware of your friends!

If you’ve ever wanted to change anything about your lifestyle – how you walk, talk, dress, or do anything else – then you already know that the biggest obstacle you’ll ever face, and I mean the absolute biggest obstacle, are your friends.

Your closest friends are the ones that you can count on to keep you exactly where you are, to keep you in place. They will do anything to keep you from growing or changing. It’s not because they don’t like you. It’s because they’re afraid that you’ll grow up and leave them behind.

So you have to ask yourself this question…

Do you want listen to your friends and stay exactly where you are – without a girlfriend? Or do you want to “sell out” and get the girl?

We say “Sell Out”. It’s well worth it!

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“Modern Men”, Dan, Ben, and Stu have become Australia’s Top Dating Coaches.

Fate brought them together through life experience and circumstance, and now they are helping thousands of men learn how to easily attract women without using any tacky ‘seduction tricks’ or false behavior.

They believe that women are attracted to certain things about men other than looks. These certain traits and behaviors can be developed by any man. It doesn’t matter what you look like, what race you’re from, or how little experience you’ve had with women.

Why?

Because women are naturally wired to be attracted to men who have the following qualities:

Confidence: This includes your social confidence, your confidence around her, confidence about yourself in general. However, if you can’t approach a woman because you fear rejection, or don’t feel very confident, then it will be almost impossible for you to attract women and get a girlfriend.

Social skills: Your ability to get along with others and get somewhere in life. Just imagine a beautiful, single woman looking for a boyfriend to get into a relationship with. One night, she gets approached by a guy who sucks at making conversation and isn’t very socially confident. What does that communicate to a woman? Can you say ‘loser’?

Masculinity: Whether or not you can be an alpha male who is not afraid of the world…or her! For example: Are you sometimes overly-polite and cautious around people, so as not to offend? Do you sometimes hesitate about making a move, because you’re unsure about yourself and what you want?

Sexually aware: Your ability to flirt with a woman and make her feel the emotions of sexual attraction. A woman craves to be with a guy who can make her feel the emotion of sexual attraction. If you don’t know how to do that, you’ll be dumped in no time!

We couldn’t agree more! Learning to attract women, and keep them coming back for more, is about so much more than the quick fixes that are offered by some of the internet pick up artists. You need real confidence that comes from within.

At the TheModernMan.com you’ll discover:

• How to build and maintain true confidence.
• How to approach women and start conversations.
• The ins and outs of starting & continuing fun & interesting conversations.
• How to attract women.
• How to flirt and use flirting body language.
• How to be an alpha male.
• The art of social vibing.
• The fail-safe, 4-step process of meeting women and moving things forward towards a successful dating relationship.
• And much more!

They offer two main products, in addition to a personal coaching program, to help you on your journey to becoming a confident and attractive man.

1.  “Build Your Confidence, Naturally Attract Women & Start Dating Now!: Become a Man Who Naturally Attracts Women” – e-Book.

2. “Modern Man Lifestyle Course: How to meet and attract women in real-life situations” – This is a 2 to 4 day seminar.

They also offer several free articles with Advanced Dating Advice.

Here are our some of our favorites.

• How to Attract Women
• Confidence With Women
• Best Pick Up Lines – Just For Laughs!
• Flirting Body Language

* This review is sponsored by SponsoredReviews, but all opinions are our own. *

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Confidence has little to nothing to do with looks. Confidence comes from the inside. Our readers are always making comments like, “You say to have confidence, but that’s not so easy for me. How exactly do I get this confidence that you speak of?”

Once you know the secret, you’ll wonder why you didn’t figure it out on your own…

Our definition of confidence is simply “not caring what others think about you”. Only YOU can determine what’s right for you – your looks, your style, your personality… When you stop letting other people judge you by their personal standards, you will have true internal confidence.

Here’s a great article on improving your sexual confidence from one of our favorite guys in the Dating Coaching and Seduction arena, David DeAngelo.

Top 10: Ways To Boost Sexual Confidence

Most guys lack confidence in their ability to physically turn on a woman and “rock her world” when it comes time to hit the sheets. A woman knows right away if she’s dealing with one of these “boy-men” and runs for the hills as soon as she realizes it. If you want to make sure she sees you as a Sexually Confident kind of guy — the kind of guy who can ignite throbbing sexual passions deep inside her — you need to become a master at giving women an incredible sexual experience. Here are 10 powerful tips to get you started.

Number 10 – Uncover the source of Sexual Confidence

Sexual Confidence comes as a result of knowing how to give a woman mind-blowing pleasure. It’s the confidence that the woman you’re with will have a once-in-a-lifetime experience with you. It’s knowing all the steps — from the first eye contact all the way to the “end game” — and knowing how to build ANTICIPATION at every step along the way. Start by practicing my “two steps forward, one step back” technique by escalating things, then backing off, then escalating further, then backing off again. The anticipation and arousal this creates will drive her INSANE. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Number 9 – Get out of the manipulation mindset

Guys are always curious about how to “trick” a girl into bed — what the magic words are, etc. I personally know a few guys who do this… and I can tell you it does NOT lead to fulfillment. Avoid this whole “manipulation mindset,” and stop trying to figure out what the magic bullets are to get a woman to do what you want in a dishonest way. It’s much better to work on becoming an interesting guy who knows what to do to build attraction in a natural, non-manipulative way. If what you’re doing feels wrong or unethical, stop it. There are better ways to get what you want.

Number 8 – Stop idealizing beautiful women

Most guys get fooled into believing that just because a woman is unusually attractive, she’s also usually honest and would never consider taking from you, cheating on you or lying to you. The reality is that people are never 100% “good” or 100% “bad.” There are situations where ANY person would lie, cheat, steal, or be disloyal. When you accept the reality that people are people, a beautiful woman is still human, and that the woman you feel strongly for is just as likely to be dishonest or disloyal as any other, you’ll take her off that pedestal you put her on. And that’s an important step toward achieving Sexual Confidence.

How important are looks when it comes to being confident in bed?…

Number 7 – Looks don’t matter when it comes to Sexual Confidence

Nothing about how you look, how old you are, how tall you are, how much you weigh, how much money you make, or whether or not you’re her type has ANYTHING to do with how you can make a woman feel once you’re in bed with her. A key to remember is that AFTER a woman has experienced a mind-blowing intimate experience with you, that experience alone will render all of that other stuff irrelevant. It just won’t matter. Picture yourself in this future ahead of time and it’ll help make it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Number 6 – Delay your gratification

Delaying gratification becomes more profound the more you think about it — and when it comes to sex, it’s absolutely critical. It not only allows you to build the sexual tension and make her want you more and more, but the teasing and anticipation act as amplifiers to HER arousal. Bottom line: You are more likely to turn her on — and more likely to take things to a physical level — if you’re cool and calm. Lose your need for instant results, and you’ll drive her CRAZY.

Number 5 – Act like sex is normal

A lot of guys get nervous when it comes time to have sex; they think they need to start acting differently when it’s time to “do the deed.” But sex is normal, so keep acting normal as things heat up. Don’t make a big deal out of it; keep having fun; keep teasing; keep acting light. Smoothly, confidently, comfortably progress from one step to the next, all the while enjoying yourself and acting like all is normal — because it is.

Number 4 – Put sex into perspective

Instead of positioning sex as the ultimate goal and the center of your purpose, move it so it’s simply one of your many goals. Make it a natural outcome if you like a woman and if you choose to spend the time and effort to get to that point. Take the “pinnacle value” out of sex, put it in perspective, and your relaxed attitude will make you much more likely to get it.

Number 3 – Tame the fear of rejection

As you progress from one step to the next with a woman — from a casual date to touching, kissing and beyond — the stakes get bigger and bigger. Men typically feel more apprehensive as they progress from one step to the next, and feel less confident moving to the next step as things get more intense. The fear is not of being rejected or stopped, but of losing all the ground that has been gained, and going back to ZERO. Fortunately, the more involved you get, the more likely it is you’ll succeed. The next step involves less risk, and it makes the sexual act more likely. Remember this.

Number 2 – Interpret her actions

If she stops you, it usually doesn’t mean that she wants you to stop FOREVER; it means that you didn’t get her turned on enough. Interpret it as “I’m not ready yet,” rather than “Go away, I don’t like you anymore.” Stop, lean back, talk casually for a while and just relax. Then get her even MORE turned on than before. Feel free to make her ASK you for sex… or even beg. “Please” is a great word — teach her to use it, and she’ll LOVE you for it.

Number 1 – Get in touch with the animal inside

A woman wants a man who’s in touch with his inner ANIMAL. If he’s overly logical, overly analytical, overly controlled, overly educated, it shows a woman that he cannot let the animal out. At an instinctive level, a woman knows that this means she won’t be able to FEEL anything strong toward him, and she knows he won’t be able to arouse any sexual feelings inside of her. Study, get to know, make friends with, and DEVELOP the animal inside you. Educating yourself in this area is one of the most important things you can do to take your Sexual Confidence to the next level.

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