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How To Pick Up A Beautiful Woman: Eradicating Self-Limiting Beliefs

W. Wilcox — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 14:38:39 +0000

What dictates how successful a person can become in any given field? Is it chance, fortune, good luck? No.

Take an athlete for example, regardless of their chosen discipline, they must WORK at becoming the best. Even if they got lucky with their genes, have a good build or quick reactions, it is absolutely vital they learn, understand and PRACTICE whatever sport it is they want to master.

If they don’t, they will never be number one, or even anywhere close. The very same principle applies to attracting and seducing women, quite simply, the looks or assets you were or weren’t blessed with naturally mean nothing if you cannot master the psychological side of the game.

It’s NOT About Looks

For example, there’s a guy who looks like Brad Pitt’s better looking long-lost brother, his body, hair and dress-sense are all flawless. But, when he opens his mouth…nothing.

His attitude, personality and character fall completely flat and instantly put off every woman in the room. He’s gone from being a mysterious, handsome stranger, to an unexciting and tedious guy, who’s good for nothing except looking at and admiring, which gets very boring, very fast.

Now, the reverse. There’s a guy who doesn’t immediately stand out of the crowd because of what he looks or dresses like or because of the car he’s just rolled up in. Women are fairly neutral towards him, they neither feel attracted to him or turned off. Then, he talks and it’s like a fire has been lit, he’s fun, charming and great to be around. In short, massively attractive.

Being the Better Guy

If you want to be that first guy, I don’t know what to suggest, except perhaps painful, expensive surgery. But if you’d rather resemble the second man (as any sane guy would), you need to do something a little different. You need to eradicate self-limiting beliefs.

Self-limiting beliefs are the internal thoughts and feelings that hold you back and restrict your ability to succeed. They’re irrational and counter-productive thoughts that everyone has, but very few people try to get rid of, which is why so few men are truly successful with women. Here are a couple of examples of self-limiting beliefs:

1. “Nah, she’s too good-looking. She wouldn’t be interested in a guy like me.”

2. “Women can sense inexperience and won’t give a guy the time of day if they think he’s not sophisticated or experienced.”

3. “Girls only want sex with strings attached and would never consider sleeping with me unless I have money or a powerful job.”

4. “That girl’s way too popular. Just look at the guys who are already all over her. She’s rejecting them so would definitely say no to me.”

The Truth About Self-Limiting Beliefs

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She Gave Me Her Number… Should I Ask Her Out On A Date? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 06 Sep 2008 13:07:35 +0000

Making a move on someone you’ve known awhile can be frustrating. Where do you start? How do you know when the right time is? What do you say?

The question of whether to ask them out is a huge one. Should you or shouldn’t you?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hi, I have liked this girl for about a year. Last Friday I told her how I felt and she didn’t say ‘no’; Here’s what she said "David I think of you as a brother, but I don’t see why we can’t get to know each other better, and I’m not trying to raise your hopes and I can’t promise you anything", and then she gave me her phone number. Should I leave it as it is for a while, or should I make a move?

–David, CA

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Is the Door Open or Closed?

Take a look at the situation from an outsider’s perspective. Look at your crush’s body language and their mannerisms toward you. Are they flirty? Do they seem to show interest in you? Have they given you their number? If you’re noticing these types of behaviors, your door is most likely open to make a move.

If their body language or mannerisms towards you are cold, or unresponsive to you, you’re probably facing a closed door. Before you ask your crush out, take some time to really feel out the situation and use your intuition and perception to judge as best you can how receptive your crush is to you. If the door seems open, go for it!

Getting The Date

If you’re lucky enough to snag a date with your crush, congratulations! Now it’s time to show your crush how much you’re into them. Don’t try to be buddies with them, because they might end up thinking of you as just a "buddy." Don’t be standoff-ish either, because you might get the cold shoulder in return.

Let your crush know you’re happy to be on a date with them and be casually romantic. Let them know using your language and body language that you’re not trying to be buddies or anything else but romantically involved with your crush. If you try too hard to be friends with your crush, you might end up getting yourself stuck in the "friend zone." This is never a fun place to be when you like someone!

If you snag a date with your crush, it’s important to let them know right off the start that you enjoy spending time with them romantically and that you’re even sexually interested in them. Take it easy and don’t put pressure on them, and you’ll find that the relationship develops romantically over time.

Don’t Pass Up The Opportunity

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I’m In Love With My Best Friend. How Do I Tell Her? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 13:16:46 +0000

If you find yourself in love with your best friend, take heart. You’re not the only one! It can be intimidating, however, to think of ways to tell your best friend how you feel without risking losing your best friend.

You might be tempted to feel the situation out with your friend’s friends, or you might prefer the idea to keeping quiet. How do you approach your best friend if you have feelings for them?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I really like this girl, I think I love her… But she’s one of my best friends and I don’t want to tell her about my feelings because I’m afraid that I will lose my friend. I told her friend about my feelings and I think she told her. Since then she’s gone all weird with me and doesn’t go out with me anymore. She always says that she’s busy or something. What should I do? Please help.

–Fizwan, England

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The Friend’s Friends

Bouncing the idea of hooking up with your best friend off their friends’ might sound appealing. You get an opinion that is as close as possible to your best friend’s opinion without actually being their opinion. Sure, it sounds great but in reality, this plan tends to backfire the most. What usually happens is the friend never keeps it quiet and approaches your best friend with the info.

While that’s scary enough, the friend usually puts whatever spin on it they like, based on how they feel about you. If that friend dislikes you or thinks you aren’t a good match for her friend, your best friend might hear a convoluted story. It’s not always this way, but if you tell your best friend’s friend your feelings, you can pretty much guarantee that your best friend will hear about it too.

Keeping Quiet

Risking losing your best friend over your feelings might sound like it’s too much to handle and it might be tempting to just stay quiet rather than risk the end of the friendship. Sure, if you stay quiet, you won’t risk losing your best friend over your feelings. But you might also be living an unfulfilled life.

What if you grow out of the friendship and end up going separate ways anyway, but you never got to tell your best friend how you felt? Think long and hard about whether you truly want to stay quiet. Make sure it’s a decision you really want to make.

Telling Your Best Friend

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How To Ask A Shy Girl Out On A Date… (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 15:44:30 +0000

Nothing can be more intimidating than asking out a girl you’ve had a crush on or have known since forever. The thought of telling this amazing woman that you really like her and having her snub you sends shivers down the spine, especially if she’s shy.

It doesn’t matter how popular or confident you are, when it comes to that special girl it’s hard to find the right words. You don’t want to put her off, but what is the right thing to do?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m a good looking, popular guy and have no trouble asking girls out – except for this one girl I’ve had a crush on since the eight grade… I walk away from a conversation with her thinking "What the heck did I just say" – I sound like a dumb jock! My Question: How do you ask out a shy girl, that you are desperately head over heals in love with? Ask her friends? Just walk up to her?

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There is no right way

The honest answer is there is no right thing to do. No one knows what another person will say or do. What you can’t do though, is simply let your fear hold you back from taking the leap of faith and opening yourself up to her. Sure, she might say no, which is her discretion. It’s pretty much guaranteed though, that if you just stand back and do nothing you will regret it for the rest of your life.

To start, you shouldn’t just go up and lay it on her that you’ve been in love with her forever and you desperately want to be with her. That is a bit much to lay on someone and might even scare her a little bit. The most important thing is to just be honest with her. Start small, like asking her out on a date not as friends but as a couple. Try flirting more and don’t hide away from her by pretending you don’t like her.

You have to let her know you like her or you’ll be forever stuck in the friend zone, the terrible place where relationships never grow and nothing ever changes. You should have the courage to tell her directly because it’s going to mean a whole lot more if it comes straight from you.

You can make it happen

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