Ask Dan and Jennifer » cumming

Why Can’t I Let Go and Have An Orgasm With My Partner? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 13:06:05 +0000

Having an orgasm doesn’t mean losing all control – it just means letting go.

Still, some women find themselves incapable of having an orgasm or stopping one that is on the way – often because of emotional baggage that keeps them from releasing their inhibitions.

Therapy can help women work through their issues and build enough self confidence to start enjoying themselves sexually with a partner they trust.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hey there, I have a question that I’m embarrassed asking. I have had a series of bad boyfriends, hurtful, hateful relationships. The times I had sex with them I never got any pleasure and I have never had an orgasm. I have read that you lost control during orgasm. I do not wish to.

I have a new boyfriend He is so sweet and caring, and he cares about making me happy and giving me pleasure. But I cannot bring myself to let him make me cum. I always stop him the minute it starts to feel good. I know he is hurt. What can I do to make myself orgasm? How do I stop myself from stopping? What does it feel like? I’m a little confused.

-Sarah, Canterbury, New Zealand

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Why Can’t I Let Go and Have An Orgasm With My Partner?

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Frustrated Girl – Why Can’t I Have An Orgasm With My Partner? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 28 Mar 2008 17:17:58 +0000

So you’re not able to orgasm with your partner – you’re not alone. That said, it can be more than frustrating and enough to make you swear off sexual activity all together.

Some women are unable to have an orgasm at all, but the vast majority are women that can have an orgasm – by themselves. What can you do if you’re only able to reach the big “O” when you’re flying solo?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’ve only been able to orgasm through masturbation while I visualize my private fantasies and feel comfortably alone. My boyfriend and I have been trying to get me to orgasm with oral sex or anything without sex.

Do you have any advice on how to relax and orgasm in the presence of my boyfriend? Or with my boyfriend doing it to me without having sex?

–Carmen,Arizona

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

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Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts – leave a comment below.

Realize there’s an emotional factor

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Is Your Woman Faking Her Orgasms?

Lee Jenkins, author Female Orgasm Black Book — Thu, 27 Mar 2008 21:09:19 +0000

Ever seen a porno film? Of course you have! And did you really think that all those ‘climaxes’ were for REAL? Of course not. Many of them were for REEL.

So how can YOU tell the difference if your woman starts to fake her orgasms with you too?

How to Spot a Fake Orgasm

Many men don’t want to admit it, but just because she ’screams’ doesn’t mean she’s reached her sexual climax. According to studies, 70% to 75% of women don’t reach an orgasm during sexual intercourse. This means if you’re woman has been shouting, kicking and screaming all the time, there’s a 70% to 75% chance she’ been faking an orgasm with you!

Here are some tips to tell if she is ‘faking it’.

She’s too loud

Is she too ‘loud’? Thanks to adult or x-rated movies, we now have this image that if a woman is ‘cumming’ she should be shouting from the top of her lungs (can’t contain the sexual pleasure you know).

Again, this is really just all for ’show’. Most women who DO experience orgasms say that they are actually not noisy at all. They would rather ‘feel’ the intenseness of cumming rather than to drown it with their own loud voices.

Body language

How is her body reacting? Your woman may be shouting till your neighbors hear her, but is her body displaying the same intense emotions? Her body is not THAT different from yours when YOU reach your climax. As such, her body should also be ‘contracting’ like yours.

For instance, her anus and vagina should be clenching or contracting when she reaches an orgasm. If you’re having sexual intercourse and she’s indicating that she’s cumming, check if you feel a certain ‘tightness’ around your penis.

Why? Because during a real orgasm, a woman’s vagina should be clenching strongly at around 1 contraction every 0.8 seconds. And ‘faking’ this pace is quite difficult to master.

Also, check her skin, is she flushed from all that release of sexual tension? If not, she may be faking it.

How about her eyes? Are her pupils a bit dilated and have that certain glassy sheen? If not and her face registers a ‘blank’, then she’ probably just faked an orgasm.

Do I really want to know?

You may be wondering why you would want to know if she’s faking her orgasms anyway, right? Well, let’s put it this way. Would YOU be interested in sex if you never reached an orgasm? Probably not! What does that spell for your relationship in the future?

So knowing if she’s faking it will enable you to take the necessary steps to make making love better for her. And as you know a sexually satisfied woman, can be verrrrry grateful in bed.

It’s a win-win situation!

Take just a minute to check out ‘The Female Orgasm Black Book’: “How To Give Her Mind Numbing, Leg Shaking Orgasms”