Nobody likes to be lead on. Usually the man is the one that will lead a girl on, however, this can happen the other way around. Leading a fella on can hurt him and his ego. When a man is lead to believe that the relationship is something that he didn’t expect, he can get angry and you might never hear from him again. If you have been seeing a fella and you’re not too sure if you’re leading him on, there are a few ways that you figure it out. Here are some signs that you’re leading him on.

You Need Something

Some girls are experts in the damsel in distress role. The thing about this is that men love to swoop in and save a girl from any situation. If you need something, it’s okay to call a friend, but helping out a girl makes a man feel like a man. Make sure that he knows you just need help and that you aren’t interested in him.

He’s A Fallback

Some men have instant chemistry with you while others take time to warm up. If you find yourself calling him when you have nothing to do, he might see it as a sign that you’re interested. If you find yourself using him a fallback, you might want to cut it out. Men tend to make excuses for girls that call them every once in a while. They might think that you’re busy and this is the first chance that you’ve had to call them.

You Haven’t Talked About The Relationship

Relationships can rely on signals to progress. However, signals can be very confusing. If you haven’t talked about your relationship, you might be leading him on. When you talk about the relationship, you give it definition. Defining the relationship lays all of your cards out on the table and leaves no room for confusion.

Your Friends Tell You You’re Leading Him On

Sometimes it takes an outside viewpoint and some good dating advice to let you know what you’re doing. If your friends are telling you you’re leading him on, they probably have good reason. Whether it be that they detect something that you don’t or they have inside knowledge that the fella likes you, listen to your friends. In this case, it’s best to have the talk with him and let him know that you’re not interested.

You Pull Away When Things Get Real

Do you make excuses for why you can’t have dinner with him or go out on a real date? If so, you might be leading him on. When a fella offers to take you out to dinner or to a show, more than likely it’s not a friendly invite. He’s interested and he wants you to go with him. If you make up fake excuses on why can’t go with him, you’re obviously not interested. Tell him that you’re not interested to diffuse the situation.

You Only Call Him For Sex

This can actually be an extension of #5. If you’re sleeping with him and he asks you to spend more time with him out of the bedroom, you are definitely leading him on. Sex to a man is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. If the sex is good, he’s probably wondering how he can make the relationship official. Explain to him that you are not looking for anything serious and he might actually be more receptive to a friends with benefits situation.

You’re Too Flirtatious

Flirting is one thing, but if you’re flirting too much, you might be sending the wrong signals. It’s best to keep the flirting to a minimum. Touching a guy’s shoulder or telling him how attractive he is can lead him on quickly. Make sure that you’re not make flirtatious gestures when are around him. He might get the wrong idea and this could cause a rift between the two you.

Leading a guy on can be damaging to any relationship. If you are friends with a fella or you’re sleeping with him, it’s best to make sure that he’s knows what the relationship actually is. When a man likes you, he will bend over backward to do what is needed to make you his girlfriend. Because of this power that women have over men, they tend to take it too far without even realizing it. Take a careful inventory of how you interact with your male friends and listen to the people around you if they say that you could be leading him on.

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Whether you’re both experienced pet owners, or this is the first time either of you have ever had an animal, getting one together is a big decision. Co-owning an animal with your S.O. should never be treated as a whim. This is a long term commitment that will require both of you to put in time and effort every single day.

Make Sure Your Relationship Is Stable First

It will also require a monetary commitment from both of you. That’s why it’s important to be certain that you’re both in your relationship for the long run before you get an animal together. Sure a dog or a cat isn’t a baby, but it is a living creature that will be dependent upon both of you. That means you both need to be on the same page before you head off to your local animal shelter or breeder.

If you are married or have been living together for several years, you can feel more comfortable about taking this step. Not only are you in a serious relationship that will likely last for many more years to come, but you’ve also been together long enough to know whether or not your S.O. is responsible. This means you won’t have to worry about how much more difficult it will be to end your relationship with a shared animal in the mix.

It also means that you’ll know they will be more likely to hold up their end of the animal-related duties or not. If you’ve only been together for a little while and aren’t really sure if this person is the one for you, hold off on getting one together. Having to fight over who gets the animal when you’ve broken up will just make things that much worse, and shared custody will be a pain for all involved—especially for the dog or cat.

Have A Talk On What You Want

Once you’ve decided that your’re in a serious, long-term relationship, sit down and talk to your S.O. about what you’re looking for in a pet. If neither of you has ever owned an animal before, you might want to do some research online or check out books about animal ownership. This will help you get an idea of the level of commitment each kind of animal requires.

For instance, dogs require a little more work than cats do. You have to walk them regularly, and potty training a puppy is more difficult than showing a kitten where its litter box is. If you both work long hours and neither of you can get home to walk a dog at lunch time, a cat might be a better fit for you. If you work far away from your home or apartment, but your S.O. works ten minutes away and always gets a lunch break, you probably could have a dog. Just make sure that your mate is okay with always being the one who has to handle midday walks.

Divide The Responsibilities

Speaking of midday walks and other responsibilities, you and your mate need to figure out a way to divvy up the work and cost associated with having an animal. The time to do so is prior to picking up your new four-legged family member. If you can’t decide who will be responsible for feeding times, vet trips, etc. without an argument, at least one of you isn’t ready yet.
You may also find that your S.O. is trying to pawn more of the work off onto you, which could indicate that he or she doesn’t really have their heart in it. It’s also really important to discuss the costs involved.

Things To Plan

Buying from a breeder will be more expensive than adopting from a shelter, but either way there will be costs involved. Then you’ll have to pay for things like food, toys, collars and leashes, cat litter or dog baggies, and veterinarian appointments. If you don’t have a joint bank account, you need to plan in advance how you’ll divide up the payments.

The last thing you want is to take your sick dog to the vet and discover that you owe hundreds of dollars because your S.O. can’t—or won’t—pay for their half. You may want to open a joint bank account dedicated specifically to those costs, even if all of your other accounts are separate.

Once you’ve talked everything through, make sure that you go together to pick out your animal. Springing a surprise puppy or kitten on your mate might seem romantic, but it’s really not a good idea. It’s important to make sure that you both meet any possible future pets before you decide on one. You’re caring for it together, so you should make sure you both feel good about the animal you end up with.

That may also mean making compromises. You might want a big dog to go running with while your S.O. might want a small lap dog. Try to find something in between that will be athletic enough to play, but small enough to hang out in your house. Once everyone’s had their say and compromises have been reached, you’ll be much more likely to get one that you’re both absolutely wild about.

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I have a question about dealing with rumors: I met a girl through mutual friends and we instantly hit it off. We’ve been hanging out a lot and now our mutual friends are starting to thing her and I are secretly dating. The problem is, both of us ONLY want to be friends and now these rumors are starting to impact our friendship. We’ve confronted our friends, but they’re not buying it. Any suggestions?

–YouTube Viewer

People Love Good Gossip

People really enjoy a good rumor – to the point where some people may make them up just for their own entertainment. This usually causes drama, which most people enjoy watching – but of course, they don’t want to be involved. Consider the possibility that someone started the gossip intentionally to create drama. Also consider the possibility that it was simply your friends misinterpreting what is really going on in the situation.

Even if someone didn’t start the gossip about you and your friend supposedly dating on purpose, it can still affect you deeply. It can affect your relationships with others, including keeping people who might want to date you from actually asking you out because they heard you were dating someone else. It can also impact the friendship you have with this special person. You may be tempted to end the friendship just to get others to stop thinking you’re dating.

How Rumors Get Spread

Gossip is easy to spread, but difficult to get rid of. If your friend tells you something and you repeat that to someone else, you’ve participated in gossip right there. Because what will happen, is you will get the story twisted just a little bit. Even if you didn’t mean to, you’re going to leave the person you told with a slightly different impression of what your friend actually told you. Once that person tells someone and they tell someone and so on and so on, the idea of what happened is not even close to what actually happened.

Did Your Friends Pick Up On Your Chemistry?

Your friends may have not intended to start gossip at all – in fact, they may have simply noticed that you and your special friend have great chemistry together. Maybe they saw you flirting with each other or just having a great time hanging out together and saw it for what it really was – two great friends with the possibility of something more. Just because you weren’t dating this person at the time the gossip got started, doesn’t mean that there isn’t something there between you two that could evolve into something more. Consider the possibility that your friends picked up on a connection between you two that you have been in the dark about.

Jealousy Can Fuel Gossip

Jealousy is a huge instigator of gossip. People who are feeling jealous may start hearsay just to get under your skin. Perhaps your friends or their friends are jealous because you both have been neglecting your individual friends to hang out together. Another possibility is that a particular friend started the rumor because they wanted to date you – and are upset that you’re spending so much time with this new friend than them. The same applies to your new friend – perhaps one of their friends wanted to date them and are jealous of how much time they’re spending with you.

Let Go Of The Hearsay

Hearsay is just that – hearsay. There’s no reason to hold on to the gossip, because it’s not doing you any good. In fact, it’s probably doing more harm to obsess over what is being said about you and your new friend than it would be to let it go. So just let it go. Learn to disregard what people way about you and your new friendship with this person and just live your live the way you want to. Do what makes you happy and let people say whatever they’re going to say. Remember the saying, “This too shall pass.” The rumors about you dating your new friend will go away eventually and you’ll be left with a great friendship afterwards.

Decide Not To Let It Affect You

The only way that gossip like that will affect you and your new friendship is if you let it. If you let what the other people are saying affect you, it could possibly destroy the relationship. Communicate with your friend and decide together that you’re not going to let the rumors affect what you have together. Also, if you believe your friends are the start of the gossip, have the confidence to let them know that you don’t appreciate them. Let them know the truth and ask them to stop spreading rumors about you. If you’ve asked them once, ask them again. If they’re really your friends, they’ll respect you and stop talking about you behind your back.

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In order to have massively successful interactions with women, your focus must be in the right place.

Dominance Is A Factor

Dominance is one of the key factors in attracting women and dominance consists of the alignment between your inner thoughts and actions. However you may be wondering how one gets to the point where their external actions are matching their internal thoughts. The way to do this is easy, and simply consists of making a slight shift in thinking when you are talking to a woman.

Many guys have the problem of running out of things to say when talking to a girl (or using pick up lines), this is because they are simply focusing on their next actions without having their mind in the right place. You need to ask yourself this same question in regards to your interactions with women. This is quite possibly the most important dating advice you’ll ever get – where we focus our attention is simply a habit and to be good with women, you need to break and establish the right habits.

If I were to simplify every interaction to its purest form it would consist of the moments you are interacting with the woman, followed by the moments she spends interacting with you and your response to that. Each person generally switches off talking; however what they are talking about is generally irrelevant. What matters is where your awareness is during the interaction.

What You Should Be Concentrating On

So lets start with where your concentration should be when you are talking and flirting with a woman:

• If your concentration is on what she thinks of you while you are talking, you failed
• If your concentration is on trying to say something that you think she will like, you failed
• If your concentration is on the next step you can take to escalate to a relationship with her, you failed

However, if your focus is on being genuinely curious in finding more about this girl, you have started to think like someone that is naturally good with women.

Digging A Little Deeper

When talking to a woman, your focus should be coming from a place of “Expressive Curiosity,” meaning you understand what it is you are looking for in a girl, and you are genuinely interested in finding out if this girl meets the standards you have set for yourself. It is called “expressive” curiosity because when your focus comes from a place of genuine curiosity, your actions, touch, body language and facial features express that curiosity in a subtle but natural way that further captivates the woman.

Many people think just asking a series of qualifying questions is a form of expressive curiosity but this is bad dating advice and it is not always the case. Once again, it all depends on your focus. Many times, when people go about asking a girl about what their hobbies are, or what makes them interesting, it comes from a place of zero dominance because they are simply asking to keep conversation going or create the illusion of expressive curiosity.

You don’t even have to ask direct questions to find if the woman meets your standards. By being genuinely curious about the woman, you can find out all you need to know about her just by asking about her weekend. By knowing what you want, your curiosity will steer the conversation into qualifying her like a natural.

How To Show A Girl That You’re Genuinely Curious

Here is an example of great dating advice (In this example I am genuinely curious if I can go out on a date and have fun with this girl, making sure she is not a buzz kill):

Me: “What did you do this weekend?”

Her: “Me and my friends went to bar for my friends birthday.”

Me: “Oh really, what bar? I’ve been looking for a new place to go.” (Genuinely curious, seeing if this woman can offer some value to me)

Her: “It’s a place called Amsterdam Lounge, on Pleasant Street.”

Me: “Oh yeah, I think I’ve heard of that, did you have fun?” (Notice my curiosity is on her, I am asking if SHE had fun. Not if the bar was fun)

Her: “Yeah we had a blast! We ended up getting free drinks on the house cause it was my friend’s birthday.” (At this point I can tell she is fun, however if you want, this is when it would be appropriate to ask a qualifying question because now it is coming from a place of genuine curiosity)

Me: “Sounds pretty crazy, so did you end up being the girl taking care of everyone, or was it the other way around?”

Her: “It was definitely the other way around, someone had to keep up with the birthday girl so she did not feel alone!” (Although this may seem like a simple response, it is absolutely perfect, by being genuinely curious in the girl I’ve learned that she can party, likes to have a good time, and could even go on to assume she is the party starter if she kept up with the birthday woman in regards to having drinks that night).

So once you get into to the habit of putting your awareness into a place of expressive curiosity, there is one other habit you must instill to achieve perfect dominance. This habit fulfills where your mind is at during the response part of your interaction. In other words, this dating advice means you need to be concentrating on when she is talking, and when you are responding to what she says.

Forming The Right Responses

So where should your concentration be when listening and responding to a woman?

• If she is talking and your concentration is on her looks (or having sex with her), you failed
• If she is talking and your concentration is on what to say next, you failed
• If she is talking or you are responding and your concentration is on what she is thinking of you, you failed.

However, if your awareness is on appreciating her for sharing something about herself, and being genuinely excited to be flirting with her, then you are truly thinking like someone that is naturally good with women.

When a woman responds to the questions you asked from a place of genuine curiosity, your response to her answers needs to come from a place of “Appreciation.” In other words, she has done or shown something about herself that you find attractive, you need to show your appreciation to show that this girl is actually getting your attention in a good way.

Do not feel like you have to force anything or be over the top with praise and compliments, you are simply showing your excitement over the fact that there is actually something interesting you find about this girl. This focus allows for you to start creating a real deep connection with the woman while also letting her learn about yourself.

To continue off the previous dating advice example, the last thing she said was:

Her: “It was defiantly the other way around, someone had to keep up with the birthday girl so she did not feel alone!”

Me: “That’s what’s up! I could tell you know how to party.” *High Five* (Now this high five comes from me being genuinely excited that she is a fun woman. I am not doing it as an excuse to touch her, it is simply my actions lining up with my mode of thinking) “I’m the same way, you can’t let your buddy be the only hammered person at a party, sometimes you just got to show that support and keep up with them. It’s common courtesy.” (Now I have used that same appreciation focus to let her know that I like that quality because I am similar)

Her: I couldn’t agree more! (She has now complied to the fact that we are similar. Just because of my approach, our seemingly meaningless conversation has created a strong connection)

To summarize, this dating advice is crucial to your success! When you are talking to a woman, you need to come from a place of genuine, expressive curiosity, and when listening to her, you need to appreciate what she is saying. This will skyrocket your results when dating women.

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Ever notice how some people are just always getting with attractive girls? Sometimes they are not even attractive men, but seem to leave the club with the hottest girl there. This has nothing to do with tricks or techniques when meeting women, but comes from the proper mindsets that they have developed.

Having The Proper Mindset

Someone that is naturally good with women does not have a set of pick up lines that they use and generally have no scripted game plan of any sorts when it comes to meeting women, yet it is their beliefs and mindsets that guide their actions in a naturally attractive way. The alignment of ones actions and mindset are what makes up dominance and is the first step to bringing out your inherited natural.

Before you can be in tune with others, you must be in tune with yourself. Now, I do not mean that is some preachy confidence developing way, I mean it as in order to bring women into your life; you need to know what you want from them.

This kind of guy knows what kind of girl he is attracted to. There can be many things that can draw your attraction to a girl, whether it is natural good looks, style, demeanor, personality, or a combination of them all, a guy that is good with women has his preference and you should too.

Avoid “Rating” Women

Another great piece of dating advice is to avoid “rating” women. A man that is awesome with girls does not rate them on a scale of 1 to 10 – this kind of scale is made up by people that do not have the ability to be good with ladies and it becomes a tool to create excuses about why they did not talk to a particular girl.

A man that IS great with girls only has two numbers, a “One” and a “Zero.” One meaning, you would “do” her, and zero meaning you wouldn’t. Now you need to understand, wanting to “do” a girl is not an objectification and should not be viewed as one. It comes from our inherited desire to want to reproduce, and denying that urge is the most “unnatural” thing you can do. The difference lies in how a smooth guy views having sex with a girl and is what makes them successful over the average sleaze ball in a club.

Being A Dominant, Confident Man

Wanting to have sex with a girl comes from a place of DOMINANCE when your desire for sex comes from something about her that triggers that urge. For example, I am very into music production and if I met a girl that displayed a unique or solid understanding of music, my sexual attraction to her would be ignited because of something about her that I find particularly sexy.

My sexual attraction does not come from a place of simply just wanting to have sex with her to have another notch in the belt. That difference in thinking is what makes a natural stand out and allows for sexual attraction to be reciprocated by the girl.

You may see many guys that have no shame in talking to every girl that walks by, however their dating success rate is low because they have not set standards for themselves. They are simply willing to settle on whatever is willing to settle with them. This behavior is very unattractive to any girl and only attracts girls with low self-esteem and other problematic issues.

More often than not, it just leads to a two-minute conversation followed by a harsh blow out. A girl shutting down a guy like this is no surprise though. How can a girl be expected to respect a guy that no standards or idea what he wants? It is essentially like he has no respect for himself. Very unattractive.

Understanding Your Desire For A Woman

The key to understanding this is by going out and taking note of what is it about certain women that draw your attention. To you, what makes some girls stand out over the others, start to find what it is that these women share in common to help you better understand your own desire.

That way, next time you see a girl that gets your attention, your desire for her is understood and gives you all the reason in the world to talk to her. Once you begin to understand the only reason you need to talk to a girl is because of your attraction to her, your approach and actions will come from a place of genuine dominance.

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As you gain more experience with women, you will find yourself in the friend zone less and less and will learn many ways to preemptively stop yourself from winding up in it. However, that is not what I am going to get into with this article. Instead I am going to share some ways that you can remove yourself once being placed in it.

Be Willing To Lose The Friendship

The first step to getting out of the friend zone is that you have to be willing to lose her completely. One thing I have learned in my years managing relationships with women is that two people who are platonic don’t sleep with each other. You will not be able to go after her if you are afraid to lose her, doing so will only plant you deeper in it. So what’s the most important step?

Make Yourself Less Available

One of the main reasons you probably got placed in the friend zone in the first place (instead of dating her) is because you made yourself overly available. You constantly made plans to hang out with her without making a move. The longer you hang out with a girl without hooking up, the higher the chance you will be placed in it. So what do you do? Get away from her. Distance yourself and for a little bit stop making an effort to hang out with her. If she is a real “friend” she should be making an effort to hang out with you. You’re soon going to realize that she probably won’t be setting up a time to hang out anytime soon.

As time goes by she will become in touch with you. If not, you can slowly re-engage but this time with a different approach. For example, do not be her therapist. Do not give her advice for how to deal with her problems. If you need listen, only do so mockingly. You are no longer a shoulder to cry on and have no need to feel sorry for her problems. She is a big girl, she will figure it out.

Keep Your Options Open

In the mean time you should be talking to or dating other girls. Not to make her jealous, but to create other opportunity for yourself. Only once you have emotionally removed yourself from the girl you are in the friend zone with, will she start chasing you. Also, this is a great time to work on staying out of it with new girls.

Time is beneficial to you here and use it to your advantage. I’m talking about going months without being in touch. It may seem harsh but if you want her that bad, this is what it takes.

After making yourself scarce to her you have opened up a window to change the frame of the relationship. Start sending her mixed signals by escalating touch and showing interest in dating her. Do not be afraid to start flirting with her. You have not talked to her for a while, you want to come back seeming like a different, more sexual person.

Change Your Goals

You want to be coming from the mindset that you want her, but it does not matter if you get her. Remember, you can’t be afraid to lose her. In fact if you are doing any of this to just try and “get her,” it is not going to work. Stop trying to get her. It may take a few months to get out of the mindset where you are trying to be the guy for her, but only then will you be able to start dating her. And at that point it is up to you to decide if you really want her.

If you honestly have a strong friendship with a girl and you really don’t want to ruin it with dating, then you need to accept you will never hook up with her. But you need to ask yourself, is your spending time with her just another hope for you to hook up out of some miracle, or is for your own enjoyment. Remember, people who are platonic don’t sleep together. But if they do, they can become friends that have sex.

More On Getting Out Of The Friend Zone:

• You have to be willing to say no to her.
• You can ask her advice about a girl you are seeing, but more importantly talk about the sexual aspect of it. Make her see you as a someone who enjoys sex.

If you are someone that finds yourself getting into the friend zone, say things along these lines when just getting to know a girl:

• “I speak my mind and it can sometimes get me in trouble, but that’s just who I am.”
• “Don’t play games cause you won’t be able to keep up with me; honesty is what I am attracted to.

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In addition to the pressure you feel from within yourself, you may also be feeling pressure from your new love interest, along with the pressures of societal norms. So how can you tell when to make that next move? A little introspection, a discussion or two with your partner, and the ability to go with your gut can all help.

When Is The Right Time To Have Sex?

There is a lot of conventional wisdom out there about when to have sex. Some people think you should hold off until marriage, and others think you should just hold off until the third date. Tempting as it can be to take an established rule as your own, the truth is that you’ll only really be happy if you go for it when you feel that you’re ready.

That means that you need to do some serious thinking. Review your past sexual experiences. Do you feel that you’ve jumped into having sex too quickly before, to the detriment of your past relationships? Or has your experience shown you that there’s no need to put things off? Of course, if you have no past experience because this is your first time ever, you’ll have to turn to other methods of determining your readiness.

Deciding What Is Right For YOU

Whether you’re experienced or not, you’re going to want to further check in with yourself. As far as introspection goes, you should do a little pros and cons analysis. What are all of the good things that you’ll get from sleeping together at this particular point in time, and what are the possible negative consequences? If the negatives outweigh the positives, you should probably hold off a bit longer.

You also need to acknowledge that, once you’ve finally had sex, it may not be as spectacular as you’d hoped it would be. If it goes poorly, that could be the end of things. If you’re not ready to run that risk, you may not be ready for sex with this person, either. Some people are into casual sex, and others feel they need to be in love before they can engage in it.

It’s important for you to truthfully acknowledge which side of the line you fall on. Trying to go against your true feelings is a mistake, particularly if you’re someone that needs to be in love. You may feel regret after the fact, which will sully the experience for you.

How Does Your Partner Feel About When To Have Sex?

Once you’ve established how you feel about it and decide that you’re ready, you need to have that conversation with your S.O. Tell them you’re hoping to take things to the next level, but want to know how they feel about it. Plus, as non-romantic as it may be, you should discuss birth control and STD prevention with them.

If one of you isn’t prepared to take the appropriate measures, that person also isn’t ready to be having sex. Once the two of you are on common ground, let things happen as they may. When the mood is right, you’ll both know it. Don’t let yourself worry about what anyone other than you and your partner think, whether you sleep together on your first date or your wedding night. Clear up all of your worries in advance, and you’ll have that much more energy to focus on enjoying your first time.

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No, I don’t mean you can’t meet ladies online. In fact, you can meet so many girls online, you can have a full time sex life without ever leaving your house! I mean the companies who own online dating sites have a dirty secret: They’d like you to fail over and over again. Because they want to make sure you are frustrated, so they can bill your credit card.

In this article, you’ll discover 5 “hacks” you can use to dramatically increase your success in online dating. You’ll find out how they’re trying to keep you down. And you’ll discover how to show online dating sites who’s boss:

The Perfect Profile Picture

Ever wonder what the perfect online dating profile picture is? Well, it’s not the 6-pack pic (studies show most females aren’t into guys with 6 packs, strangely enough). And it’s none of the pictures that show how rich or powerful you are. (They’re the worst kind of bragging)

INSTEAD, it’s a secret picture no sane man would ever think to use: The sleeping picture!

Here’s how you get it:

• Have a friend take a picture of you while you’re sleeping
• Then, add it in to your profile pictures (Not your main one, try making it picture three or four)
• Watch your response to your messages shoot WAY up!

(It’s the quickest way to show your vulnerable side)

Why the online dating sites are hiding it from you:

I’ve got to give the online dating sites a break on this one – they actually have no clue. In fact, I discovered this secret a few years ago, myself. And I kept it to myself, until I decided to “retire” from online dating. So I guess technically I’ve been hiding it from you. Oops. However, those online dating sites don’t get off the hook!

They bombard you with pictures where girls fall for jacked, rich guys. In this case, they’re lying to you. Even though their research tells them the truth! (I stole the six pack study from a Match.com result)

Where To Find Smart, Sexy Chicks

Ever wonder where the ladies with brains AND beauty are hiding? Hint: You’ll never find them if you look through profiles. You’re going to get “booby blinded” and veer off course. The truth is, it’s impossible to tell whether a woman has a good personality or not when you look at her profile. Because she probably rewrote and edited it four or five times.

Turns out, most online dating sites have a section where men and ladies share their opinions about dating, sex and relationships. And these “forums” can be goldmines when you want to meet girls. In fact, just looking through posts can tell you loads about the woman who wrote them. (You may even find a woman you really like – a woman with a good head on her shoulders, and a pretty, curvy body to boot)

Why the online dating sites are hiding it from you:

In this case, it’s your own damn fault. Because survey after survey tells dating sites that forums are “nerdy,” so dating sites don’t promote them hard. Most dating sites don’t even link to their forums. You might have to dig through a few links to find these magical places.

So how can you cruise for smart, sexy chicks without looking like a nerd? It’s easy:

• You find her profile on the forums
• Then you send her a message “out of the blue,” like you stumbled across her profile in the search menu.
• You reap the benefits of the forums without the social risk of posting on them. Genius!

(And for the record, I’m a total nerd. You can be nerdy and proud and still meet girls. You just want to keep your nerdy side in check until she’s falling for you. Then it’s cute, instead of nerdy.)

They’re Sabotaging Your First Message

A major feature on most online dating sites allows you to send a woman a “gift,” along with your message. They tell you this gift makes females respond to messages better. In fact, most sites give you a message format to follow.

They’re WRONG!

Do the exact opposite of what they recommend: Never include any “bribe” for reading your message, and keep your message short and to the point. Tell her, “Hey, I saw your profile and had to message you. Here’s why…” and then tell her what you liked about her and her profile. Finally, ask her a question so she can message you back.

Being honest like this works better than most online dating website’s template messages. (I’ll explain why in a later section)

Why the online dating website are hiding it from you:

It’s in their best interest. You see, most “gifts” cost something. Sometimes it’s a certain amount of “points” you get from being on their site. Sometimes it’s real, live cash money. Either way, these sites make money when you send gifts. Sometimes it’s your money and sometimes it’s advertising money.

Most Websites Hire Dozens Of “Fake” Women

Ever notice that six gorgeous girls with big breasts are just WAITING for you at whateversite.com? And they live right in your area, too! Lucky you, lucky you! Truth is, these ladies are called “plants.” Bigger dating sites use “Geolocation Tracking” to figure out which city you live in. Then, they’ll show you stock pictures and tell you these girls are waiting for

It’s a lie!

Instead of joining a website you haven’t seen for yourself:

• Try a website like bugmenot.com
• Use a trial password account
• And check out the girls  there, for yourself
• Only join if you see girls you like.

Why the online dating sites are hiding it from you:

Cold hard cash, baby.

They assume men want to meet HOT ladies online. We don’t surf online dating sites to meet average looking girls. So, to get you to sign up, they put “plants” in their ads. Even worse – most sites employ a few hundred “plant profiles.” Fake profiles with fake pics, designed to make you message them. They think once you send your first message, you can’t quit.

So if you don’t get a message back from that SUPER hot girl, you could have sent a bad message. Or you could have sent a message to a plant.

The Male/Female Ratio Secret

Think it’s some sort of cruel prank your messages never get returned? Even by girls who are average looking at best? Well the dating sites don’t tell you: The ratio of ladies to men is something like 1 woman for every 4 men. Why is this ratio so screwed up? Because a hot woman can meet men wherever she goes.

In fact, dozens of men approach HER for dates. So you’ll see less girls online dating than men. This means every woman is getting four times as many messages as her profile “deserves.” This makes your message “just one of a hundred.” Instead of something special or unique. To make her read your message, you gotta use some hacks: Make your messages look personal, and don’t hit on her right away.

Try using the subjectline: “Hey, noticed something about u…” Then use the message you learned in hack three.

Why the dating sites are hiding it from you:

Would you sign up for an online dating website if they told you “We have four times as many men as females!” Nope. Didn’t think so. You now have the tools to make online dating much, much easier. I can hear you thinking: “If only there were a way to “hack” real life dating, as well.”

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Don’t Take Yourself So Seriously

Dating is supposed to be fun, but many guys take themselves too seriously when they’re trying to meet and flirt with a woman. They’ll be so worried about making the wrong moves or saying something stupid to actually be themselves or get to know a girl. A lot of guys are too scared of screwing things up to actually approach a girl, let alone flirt with her. You’re definitely going to make some mistakes when it comes to hitting on the ladies and flirting with them.

You’re not going to be super smooth every time, but the point is to relax and have a good time. If you take yourself too seriously, you won’t be able to brush it off when you do make a mistake – because let’s face it – most of the mistakes guys make when talking to a woman aren’t so serious they’re going to ruin everything. What will ruin everything is your attitude. So stop being worried about flubbing up and start relaxing and learning to be comfortable in your own skin. You’ll be surprised at the difference it makes!

Make Flirting A Dance

Flirting is a lot like a dance – it’s a give and take between two people. When you flirt with a woman, you’re going to listen to her and show interest in her for a little while, and then you’re going to pull back a bit and appear interested in something else. When this happens, the woman will naturally start to show more interest in you as you pull back, and when she pulls back, you’ll then naturally feel more inclined to show even more interest in her.

This is how things escalate from meeting a woman to flirting with her and on to kissing and even more. The give and take between you and the person you’re interested in is what makes things fun and exciting for both of you because neither of you is sure exactly what will happen next! The unpredictability of flirting is why it’s so much fun!

Think Of Flirting As Having Fun

Instead of being so nervous you can’t have any fun, remember that flirting is all about having fun, even if things don’t go exactly the way you wanted them to. In fact, it could be said that if you’re having fun with someone you’re interested in romantically, you’re actually flirting!

When you make a mistake when talking to a woman, it’s important that you remember that flirting is about having fun and learn to let the little things go. Brush it off with a smile and a laugh and continue having a great time with the person you’re interested in. If you let the little things affect you, it’s going to affect your attitude and you’re definitely not going to be any fun to be around. Your date is going to care less about the fact that you spilled mustard on your shirt than she will about the fact that you laughed it off and were still a blast to be around!

When You’re In A Relationship, Don’t Forget The Flirting

One of the things that two people in relationships often forget to do as time wears on is to make sure that the flirting doesn’t stop. While flirting often comes naturally for two people who just met or are in the beginning of a relationship, it takes more work to keep flirting as you get to know someone and are with them for a significant period of time.

To make sure you continue to flirt with your partner well after you started dating them, it’s important to keep the “fun” attitude and continue to not take yourself – and your partner – so seriously. Instead of letting little things in the relationship crop up and bother you, learn to pick your battles and keep things light and fun. Stay relaxed and be yourself – because that’s who your partner wants to be with, right? Remember, she still wants you to flirt with her, tell her she’s pretty, tease her, touch her and laugh with her no matter how long you’ve been together!

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When you look good, feel great, and give off that positive vibe, women will naturally be drawn to your charm. Gone are the days of you begging her for her number or stalking her at work. Just keep these tips in mind:

No Wash-o-Phobia Guys

First off, make sure you are clean and that you smell great. You are not a college guy sharing his dorm with fraternity brothers whose noses are practically desensitized. Keep in mind that dating women requires great hygiene, especially if you want the woman to get her body near yours. A few drops of cologne would be great but please, make sure that the cologne does not bombard her nose with overpowering scent.

Queer Eye For A Straight Guy

Nope. We are not telling you to be metrosexual or anything close to that. Being metrosexual can be a little overbearing for woman, especially if man takes longer to get ready than she does. Good grooming and hygiene are essential, but don’t over do it.

Mr. Smooth

Rather than indulge in any arrogant or aggressive dating approach, take it slow and be smooth. Try to establish eye contact before the approach. Do not just barge in or the woman would think you are an arrogant thug who thinks he is God’s gift to women. Eye contact allows you to assess if the woman is interested. If she looks at you and maintains her gaze, your loins are in for some surprise. If she stares away, do not even bother. Your chances are slim and you are just about as good as Steve Buscemi trying to squeeze a date out of Charlize Theron. Dude, no freaking way.

Your Are Not Ramesses, The Great Pharaoh

Now, we assume that every girl in a bar is with another girl who happens to be lovely as well. Or maybe, there are three or four girls in the group and all of them are pretty. When you make your approach, concentrate on only one woman. You are not a pharaoh in his harem of marvellously good looking girls. Avoid flirting with too many women, or at least don’t be so obvious about it. And without any doubt, do not approach her friends if she has blown you off. Women are fiercely loyal to their friends – and you’re better off heading on to new pastures.

V is for Victory, Not Verbose

Stop pretending to be an eloquent speaker. Get rid of the cliché pick up lines that you learned in high school, a time when you were just trying to understand the female body, let alone her mind! Pick up lines are uncool and will drive your woman to the other side of the world. What matters is your sincerity to converse. Talk to her about things that she is interested in and you shall definitely stand out head and shoulders from the pack. There is nothing more important to a woman than to be listened to and appreciated.

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Take One Step At A Time

Most women like to take things slow when getting to know a guy, so if you want to use seduction to get a girl, make an effort to take baby steps. Don’t lean in for the first kiss if you haven’t even held her hand yet, or don’t pressure her to have sex with you if you haven’t kissed her. Start with small things such as touching her knee or rubbing her shoulders and slowly work your way up to the bigger things like kissing, paying attention to her reactions each step of the way. Her reactions to your actions are what will give you clues on when to move forward and try something else. They will also show you when you’re not hitting the right mark and when you need to try a different seduction tactic.

Build Anticipation

Think of seduction as a dance where things move back and forth between you and the girl you’re interested. Seduction is not a “charge” where you brush by her to cop a feel right away or start suggesting sex within just a few minutes of meeting a girl. Build up the sexual tension by doing things like leaning towards them for a kiss and then moving back or pretending to be slightly distracted by something. Women love anticipation, especially when the end result is just as rewarding as the parts leading up to it. Many guys make the mistake of rushing things and don’t put in the effort to create that “dance” of seduction by building up and releasing tension. When done well, building up your partner’s anticipation will help heat things up between the two of you.

Move Smoothly And Slowly

When using seduction to woo a woman and get her interested in you, it’s essential that you take your time. A lot of guys get nervous and rush through the movements, skipping over creating the necessary foundation for a woman to be attracted to a man. If you make a lot of surprising, jarring moves, you’re going to make your date nervous too. Don’t do anything completely unexpected or shocking, because you’ll end up causing her to feel uncomfortable and awkward – which definitely won’t get you anywhere.

Seduction involves lots of slow, well planned moves that appear smooth and create an aura of comfort and predictability. With the right techniques, you and your partner will slowly but steadily move through the different stages of seduction and dating.

Reading Her Body Language

A girl isn’t always going to tell you when your seduction tactics are working and when they’re not. Since you’re not a mind reader, it’s important to read a woman’s body language. While she may not put her feelings into words, she’ll definitely show you what’s going on in her mind through her body language. If she seems responsive to your actions, such as touching you a lot, laughing at your jokes and making lots of eye contact with you, it’s a pretty safe bet that she’s as into you as you are her. The closer she gets to you, the more you know you’re ready to move on to the next step in the game of seduction.

If she seems to be giving you the cold shoulder, it’s likely that’s exactly what she’s trying to do. A girl that isn’t interested in you isn’t going to be laughing at your jokes or making excuses to be physically close to you. She may even be crossing her arms or looking directly away from you.

The most important thing to remember when it comes to seduction is to have fun, relax and be yourself. Seducing a woman doesn’t involve pretending to be someone you’re not, because that will almost always backfire. Even if it doesn’t, you’re building a girl’s attraction to you on a foundation of dishonesty. Women will always appreciate a guy that is relaxed and is comfortable enough in his own skin to be himself. Go with the flow and keep it lighthearted!

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Dating problems are easy to create, but great girls are hard to find. So when you do find one, don’t ruin your chances by making deadly mistakes. Remember, attractive ladies are used to dating a lot of guys, so they know what’s going on. The result? They’ll disappear before you realize you’ve done anything wrong. Here are 5 things that many guys do that blow their chances with their girlfriend, and how to avoid them.

Sharing Your Feelings With Her Too Early

When you announce that you love her, you lose the mystery, the magic and the chase. Remember that the early stages of dating should always remain casual. Only after you get to know each other really well should you pursue anything further. It’s also worth mentioning that you can’t logically convince someone to fall in love with you either. Falling in love is a process that happens outside the conscious mind ­ remember that.

Trying To Push It Too Far Too Soon

It’s natural to wonder about your future together but remember, if you start talking about marriage after only 12 months, you could ruin your chances to take things further. Just because you like a particular girl doesn’t mean you should rush things any faster than they should naturally progress. Think about your friends and how the natural progress of friendship happens. Rarely do you meet someone and feel eager to become best buddies over night. As a general rule: slower is better.

Being Too Available

You might think “saying you’re busy” is playing a mind game or being manipulative. Well let me tell you something: everything you do is manipulation. We always act a certain way to try and achieve a certain outcome. The best way to come across naturally is to ACTUALLY BE BUSY. Get involved in life and don’t make your new girlfriend the center of your attention. This is simply a reminder to be who you were before you met the girl of your dreams and continue to be that person, rather than use trickery. Remember that your busy, interesting and fun life only has so much time for her, no matter how much you like her. And remember, ladies love a challenge and mystery, so this actually works in your favor.

Not Being Yourself And Seeking Approval

Girls love dating confident guys with a strong sense of self-worth. Unfortunately, guys often try to guess how the woman wants them to act and try to accommodate her mold, which leaves very little room for your own personality to shine. Be comfortable being you. Showing that you’re not scared to be yourself is very attractive and very refreshing for others.

Buying Gifts For Her

While buying gifts “looks” like a nice gesture, the underlying message is, “I want you to like me, so here’s this expensive thing.” Don’t do it. Gifts are for couples in long term relationships. Buying them too early can have the opposite effect to what you want.

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Don’t Talk To Her The Same Way You Would A Co-Worker

Many men make the simple yet devastating mistake of chatting with girls they’re interested in dating like they chat with their co-workers. When there’s nothing really to discuss, they fill the empty space with run of the mill conversation. For example, you may chat with your co-workers about the problems you’re having at work, the weather, what you’re going to have for lunch or any number of random but boring subjects.

You may think that this conversation fare is good for anyone – including girls you’d like to be dating – but the truth is, it’s not. Having conversations like this is actually one of the fastest ways to show a girl that you don’t have any brains and definitely wont make a girl like you! It doesn’t even make for a real conversation – in fact, most people at work drone on about boring subjects because they don’t really have anything else to go on about and they’re simply trying to fill the awkward silence with some kind of conversation.

Instead, chat with ladies you’re interested in about things that interest them, and offer insights, observations and opinions that make it a real conversation.

Chat In A Way That Assumes Familiarity

While you don’t want to chat with a girl you’re interested in like you would a co-worker, you also don’t want to chat with her like she’s a stranger either. The more you ask the same questions a stranger would ask her, the more you’re going to seem like an actual stranger to her. You definitely don’t want her to feel like she’s being interviewed for a job or playing a very boring round of twenty questions. Questions like this might be:

• “What do you do for a living?”
• “What do you do for fun?”
• “Where do you live?”
• “Where do you go to school at?”

Instead, make a point to ask any woman you’d like to be dating meaningful questions that actually make her think! You already know that the quickest way to make a woman fall in love with you is by stimulating her mind, so you want to make her feel like you’re interested in her personally and value her opinions and thoughts on different subjects. Questions like this might be:

• “What would you do if….?”
• “What is your opinion about….?”
• “How does …. make you feel?”
• “What is your favorite….?”

These types of questions actually get her thinking and stimulate her intellectually. They also show that you’re interested in her and the things that are important to her. These types of questions show her that you actually want to get to know who she is and what she’s all about rather than where she works or what kind of pets she has.

Don’t Filter Yourself

When dating, many guys make the mistake of trying too hard to give off the “right” impression or the impression that he thinks a woman wants. What happens is that they are so caught up in putting on the right kind of “show” that they actually forget to be themselves! Guys are so scared of saying the wrong thing and getting rejected that they end up holding back and don’t actually show a woman who they are and how much fun they can be.

Learning to be yourself and letting go of what you think you should be doing or saying when talking to women is a way to show strength and confidence, which is actually a huge turn on for a lot of gals. Chat with a woman as though she is a long time friend of yours and you’re not afraid of being judged by her. She’ll be so appreciative that you’re actually being yourself, unlike the hordes of other guys that put on the “show” for her. When you learn to have real conversations with girls, you’ll find that instead of looking for girls, the girls are looking for you!

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The Benefits Of Online Dating

So just what can online dating sites do for you that a singles’ bar can’t? For one thing, they simultaneously broaden and narrow your search. The site could find people that you wouldn’t otherwise run into in everyday life, casting a wider net for you. Yet it can also turn your focus toward people who share your interests, helping to eliminate unlikely candidates. That saves you time and ensures that you have a lot less first date fiascoes and more fourth and fifth dates and beyond.

You also have the ability to screen potential matches more easily, since you can study the person’s profile before you decide to respond to them. Online matchmaking services can be particularly helpful if you live in a large, highly populous area. It can be hard to navigate dating in a big city. Weeding your way through crowded bars and parties at your friends’ apartments can be daunting. Going online can help steer you toward the right people who desire the same kind of relationship that you do.

That’s something you can’t always tell when you first meet a cute guy or girl at your friend’s cook out. Just because someone seems like a good match, doesn’t mean they’re looking for something as serious as you are searching for. These same sites can also be really helpful for those who live in smaller towns. If you know everyone in town, but still haven’t found the right fit, using a dating site can help you find someone in a neighboring town that you don’t normally visit.

Are There Online Dating Dangers?

Of course, there are some dangers in using online matchmaking services, and you won’t necessarily find your dream date on the first try. It’s bad enough that people can misrepresent themselves in person, but online they can be even trickier. People can lie about their ages, their interests, and even their appearance. If you sense that a person’s profile isn’t totally truthful, or if they admit at some point that they fudged a few details, it’s best to pass over them.

A relationship based on lies can’t come to any good. That’s also why you have to be true to yourself when you put together your profile. If you twist your interests or information to make yourself seem more appealing, you’re not doing anyone any favors. The wrong kind of people are going to end up matched to you, and then they’ll be let down when they find out you weren’t totally honest. If you accurately describe yourself, you’ll draw the kind of people who will truly appreciate you for you. Finding the right match is what online dating is all about. Add it into your dating mix, and you just might find your perfect partner.

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5. Revealing New Online Dating Book…

But you should know, women OBSESS over these dating stories. They tell their girlfriends every little, tiny detail. And they share the story of the day you met with every single person they know. So, in this article, you’ll discover how to give her a damn INTERESTING story to tell.

PLUS – You’ll finally be able to tell YOUR friends a great dating story, with some funny details. (This story will easily get you tons of laughs)

“I Met Him While We Were Trapped 50 Feet Below Ground”

Creepy, right? Sounds like a love story straight from a horror movie. Truth is, this strange place to meet your next girlfriend was voted “The Most Romantic Place To Meet A Man” in a recent, 2010 survey done by a famous woman’s magazine.

And this place is…. the subway.

If you live in any major, metropolitan city, there are thousands of women waiting to meet and start dating you. And you see them every day, riding the subway. If you say the right things to her, it’s as if you walked straight out of her favorite romantic movie, and into her dreams.

Here are some tips:

• Start with a compliment. This one works great: “I saw you and your energy seems so positive, I had to come talk to you.” (This works way better than complimenting her body or outfit)
• Then ask an easy question: “Where are you headed?”
• Finally, before you get off the train, tell her this: “I never meet anyone interesting on the subway. I’d love to get coffee with you, sometime.”
• When she says yes, tell her you’ll call her, then get her phone number.

“I Met Him While We Were Surrounded By Dead Animals”

Another one of those horror dating stories, right? Wrong! Whether you’re a younger man who’s into cougars or you’re an older, career focused man who likes career focused women. This place is a perfect place for you to meet women.

And this is… The Grocery Store.

Specifically, the meat section. (Although the other sections will work, as well.) You shop for groceries. She shops for groceries. And between you and me, most of the time she looks sexy as hell doing it. You may as well TALK to the gorgeous women you meet at Whole Foods or Stop ‘n Shop, right? Especially if you’d like to be dating them!

Here’s how:

• Walk up to her and give her a nice compliment, like before. Try: “Wow. You look like quite a cook.” (Works even better if you’re joking on her for buying microwave meals)
• Start talking about things you like to cook. Move onto topics like activities you like to do. Just make small talk.
• After a few minutes, tell her: “Hey, it was really great meeting you. Grocery shopping is usually such a chore. It was a pleasure to bump into you. I’d love to keep talking about X TOPIC sometime – do you drink coffee?”
• If she says yes, get the number. If she says no, tell her you know this great tea place, then get the number.

It’s laid back. It’s full of romance. And it WORKS. Try it out, for yourself.

“I Met Him In The Middle Of A Pack Of Nerds And Geeks”

Before I started learning how to meet women, I spent most of my time obsessing over my job. (I worked in a physics lab, and had an B+ rating on ICCUP – a professional video game league) So you can believe me when I tell you: This super-nerdy place to meet women is a gold mine for women who are smart, intelligent, artistic and creative. It’s also an amazing place to meet cute, young college students.

How about… the library?

Surrounded by books, the library is super laid back and quiet. Women love the idea of dating someone seeing them for who they really are. And what’s more revealing than what she’s reading at the library? Nothing!

Try picking her up, like this:

• Check out what she’s reading, and then ask her if she likes it.
• If you’re in a quiet room, slip her a note. Ask her the same question above, but start it with one of the compliments we talked about, earlier. Try “You seem like you’ve got great taste in literature.”
• That works even better if she’s reading something jokey – like a comic book or romance novel.
• By now, you know the drill for getting her number. Make her feel special, then ask her if she likes coffee.

Chances are this woman is smart, educated and interesting in making something of herself. At the very least, she’s a reader. And if you’re a reader – you’re a good match.

“I Met Him 100 Feet Away From The Dungeons And Dragons Club”

Yet you’ll find all kinds of interesting women at this, particular place: From women who love to cook and clean, to women who are into economics and politics, even women obsessed with sexual improvement and tantra. Best of all, you can pick which “type” of woman you’d like to be dating as easily as walking just a few feet to your left or right.

Because it is…the bookstore.

And the book store has a whole different set of rules than the library. For one, you can talk, chat and mingle. For another, you can pick which type of woman you’d like to meet, based on what’s she’s reading or where she’s hanging out! Want a down to earth woman? Try the cooking sections. Want a sexually liberated woman? Try self-improvement.

In fact, here are three things to keep in mind, when meeting women at a book store:

• Be respectful. She’s trying to read. So when you approach her, say “I don’t mean to interrupt, but…” and then go into your compliments from the library.
• Don’t keep her too long. Have small, five minute conversations.
• You can go on your first date, right then! Many book stores have coffee shops right in the lobby. So you can bring your new friend on a first date just a few minutes after you meet her. Ask her if she wants to grab coffee and keep talking. (And DON’T call it a first date!)

Once you’ve mastered the library and the book store, here are a few more “sketchy” places to meet your new girlfriend…

“I Met Him When He Woke Me Up From A Nap”

Sounds like you’re sitting in her bedroom, waiting for her to fall asleep, right? Wrong! Hell, you know this place like the back of your hand. (And I can GUARANTEE there’s one woman you’d like to meet here even if you’ve got a SUPER crush on some woman, right now)

What about the classroom….or your work?

Either or, it’s somewhere you spend most of your time. And the women there spend all day doing the same things, over and over, too. Not only will you know a bunch of the same people, you’ll also have at least ONE thing in common. (Which is a major turn on for most women!)

Here are the “rules” you need to know, before you start seriously dating a woman, at work (or school):

• Keep it low key. Even when you’re out and out dating, keep your relationship in the down low. Let her tell people, when she’s ready. This way, you won’t screw things up, by accident.
• Be subtle and gradual. This means you don’t ask her on a date, right away. Instead, invite her to grab a drink with you and a few of the guys. Then, at the end of the night, tell her you had fun talking to her and would like to grab lunch some day, while you’re working.
• These small steps give you big returns because you’ll eventually get to a first date – even sex – without scaring her off along the way

“I Met Him While I Was Hot And Sweaty”

At this next place, you see athletic women where ever you look. Women wearing practically nothing, sunning themselves to get a tan. Women who are friendly, active and blessed with toned, tight, sexy bodies. That’s because you’re hanging out in…

A park!

It’s outdoors. It’s active. It’s fun for most people. And women you meet here are active, friendly and social. If you’re into working out or eating healthy, you’ll meet and possibly start dating) some amazing women here.

• Take a second to break the ice and start flirting. Say, “I know this is kinda of awkward, but…” or “I know this is out of the blue, but…” and then follow it up with a compliment.
• “I know this is out of the blue, but, I saw you running and I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. What’s your name?”
• And as always, chat for a few minutes, then suggest grabbing some coffee. (Feel free to make a joke about not wanting to go now, because they’ll kick her out for being too sweaty)

“I Met Him While I Was Wrist Deep In Another Man’s Dough”

Yup. You read that right. In this area, there’s a good chance she’ll be buried wrist deep in another man’s dough. She’ll also be highly creative, very nurturing and one hell of a cook. (Plus, she’ll smell like warm cupcakes on a summer afternoon)

This place is… a baking or cooking class.

Oh man! If you’ve ever wanted to be SURROUNDED by women who are ALL “eyeing” you like you’re the hottest man she’s ever seen – a baking class is the place to be! You usually get to be partners with a few women who take care of themselves, are looking to improve themselves and are usually very, very sensual.

(They like to make things, smell things, and touch things. Sex with a woman who takes baking or cooking lessons is almost guaranteed to be a good time!)

So how do you find a good class to start dating women? And how would you meet women once you’re there? Here are the tips:

• Try a class with cupcakes or other baked goods. Cupcakes are very “in style” right now, and will be for a few years to come – so you’ll meet hotter, “trendier” women than you would at, say, a local lasagna class.
• Make sure you’re ACTIVE in making the baked goods! Take charge, give people jobs, delegate. Be the man they look to for what to do next.
• Bring a girl friend. This one is the easiest – and most important – of all: Bring a girl who’s also your friend. You do this so the women will know you’re straight and they’ll fight with the other girl to date you.
• (Honestly? Your girl friend gives you – a straight man – a reason to be at a cupcake class. The real reason? The women are hot and cupcakes are yummy… There’s really no mystery here)

Go alone and you’re risking an uphill battle. Not to mention, the girl friend you bring will get highly attracted to you, as well.

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A Woman’s Biggest Erogenous Zone Is Her Mind

Have you ever seen a really hot girl with a pretty average or below average guy and wondered how he got her on his arm? You figure it’s because he’s great in bed, but that’s rarely the case. It’s more likely because he found a way to stimulate her mind and emotions! Sure, a woman values looks in a man, but definitely not more than his smarts or his sense of humor. A woman greatly values being intellectually stimulated, even more so than having a guy that looks fabulous. If a guy can make a woman feel great mentally and emotionally, he’s a shoe in even if his physical attributes aren’t the greatest.

Women Are Attracted To Non-Creepy Dominance

Women are almost always attracted to non-creepy dominance, with “non-creepy” being the operative word. Contrary to what some men may think, it is possible for men to assert confidence and dominance without being superior, condescending or hateful. Girls are attracted to men who appear confident and in control without acting cocky or degrading towards the ladies.

For example, a great way to exert confidence and dominance on a date without being creepy is to have a “date plan” in mind, such as picking the restaurant. Tell your girl, “I’d love to take you here, they have the best ‘pasta e olio’ I’ve ever had.” However, picking the restaurant doesn’t mean being a jerk about it and insisting that you go there. If she’s not into Italian, have a back up. But more likely than not, your girl will appreciate you taking the lead and showing that you’re a strong, confident man.

You definitely want to AVOID saying, “I don’t care, whatever you want to do” when planning a date, because it shows weakness and lack of leadership qualities – and this is something most women aren’t attracted to. Get used to showing your girl what your preferences are and never apologize for what you desire!

How Does All This Apply To Sexting?

Take the strong, confident attitude that you use when you’re going on a date with your lover and apply it to sexting her. Sexting is powerful because it takes sex and puts it into a woman’s language – the language of words. Most women keep their cell phones with them at all times, so sexting will allow you to communicate with her sexually in a way that is important to her. It’s like blowing past all her defenses and stimulating her right at her very core!

In your sexy text messages, you’re going to tell her what you’re going to do to her behind closed doors (and how badly you want to do it) in a dominant, leading manner. Make sure you use descriptive, sensual language that hooks into her imagination and stimulates her mind. Use your creativity to come up with sexy situations such as oral sex or a new sex position and describe it to her over text.

You can even tell her how she’ll respond to your actions to create a titillating fantasy. Talking about foreplay with your partner throughout the day will get both you and her so turned on that it will be all you can do to keep your head straight while you finish the work day! Here are some great examples of sexting that you can use to turn her on:

• “When I get home, I’m going to nibble may way down your neck and….”
• “I want to lick your clitoris while I fondle your nipples….”
• “I can’t wait to get home and kiss you all over your body….”
• “You’ll love it when I slip my fingers inside….”

Coming up with something to say over text to get your partner turned on isn’t difficult if you use your imagination and learn to let go a little. If you’re apprehensive about what to say and when to say it, just remember that whatever you’re thinking of doing to her in your head is something you can say in a text!

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There are several ways to improve your intimacy, so don’t make an appointment with a therapist yet. Married or not, couples need to do something about their situation first before seeking the help of a pro.

Set a Cuddle Time

You girl might feel wary about sudden shows of intimacy, especially if she’s often not in the mood to make love. She might think that you’re just feeling horny, that’s why you’re extra sweet or extra touchy. Women feel pressured to perform, especially if they notice that you just want to do it for your own release, and you don’t seem to care whether or not she gets hers. In a long-term relationship, it gets more and more difficult to set the mood for love making, especially if you and your partner have issues.

What you can do is to be content with just cuddling. Ask her to just cuddle and fall asleep like that together. Doing this a few times will increase intimacy tremendously. Soon, she will start to relax and get rid of the thought that you’re cuddling her so that you can get some that night even if she isn’t in the mood. Soon, she will start to want it whenever you’re acting romantic.

If you cannot help but feel the urge while you’re cuddling, you can wedge a small pillow between your legs so that you’re not inadvertently poking her and destroying the mood in the process.

Be Sexually Honest

Sexual honesty means telling your partner that her technique is not bringing you closer to orgasm, but gently. Instead of doing a full critique of her blowjob technique, guide her hand or give her instructions then reward her with moans.

While it is in bad form to constantly ask your partner if what you’re doing feels good, you must listen to what her body is telling you. Don’t get caught up in the act and simply assuming that everything you do feels good.

Buy Each Other Underwear

One definitive proof that you’re intimate is if you give each other underwear. Say you passed by a nice shop and saw a good bikini-style undergarment that you think she will like. Encourage her to choose an intimate apparel for you when she asks you what you want for Christmas. Besides the fact that she’s likely to wear your gift and show you, the thought that you were picturing how she would look in it while you’re in the lingerie shop is sexy.

These tips are just hints on what intimate activities you can do together to improve your relationship. Intimacy is the foundation of a long-term love affair, so make sure you have a lot of it in your relationship.

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Don’t Force It

You can’t force someone to be attracted to you when you want to be dating them. It just doesn’t happen that way! Obligation, of course, is very unattractive. A woman will not be attracted to you if she feels obligated in any way towards you, whether it’s feeling obligated to be dating you, or to spend time with you or have sex with you. There’s a reason that they say “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” You’ve got to give someone the opportunity to want to spend time with you.

This is actually a huge reason that married couples and couples in long term relationships lose attraction between each other. They feel too much obligation to spend time together or have sex with each other, and they never give their partners the opportunity or chance to want it naturally, without forcing it.

Have Fun

The most important thing to remember when playing the dating game is to have fun. Dating is all about having fun and if you take it too seriously, you’re not going to get very far at all! When hanging out with a woman you really like, make fun your first priority. Make sure you have positive, fun experiences together. Talk to her and get to know her and what she thinks is funny, and tell great jokes that make her laugh. It also doesn’t hurt to be a little protective of her and of course, chivalrous.

Chivalry is not dead, contrary to popular belief! While women don’t necessarily “need” a strong, confident man to protect them, wanting a man like that is hardwired into a woman’s DNA. Even the most independent, self reliant woman will be instantly attracted to a man that looks and acts like a man who can take care of a woman. Even if she doesn’t actually want you to “take care” of anything, showing her that you’re the kind of man that will appeals to something deep inside her that she really never even knew was there!

Give her the emotions she deeply craves, but don’t be too predictable, otherwise she’ll take you for granted. Be a strong, confident man and watch as she gravitates towards you without thinking. This is a great way to get a girlfriend without making it look like you’re desperate or trying too hard.

Give Her Freedom

When dating, it’s important that you not be the “clingy” guy. Show her you’re not jealous, and that you value her freedom. Most women aren’t going to be interested in a guy that is clingy, asks her what she’s doing, when she’s doing it and who she’ll be with. Not valuing her freedom and her right to do what she wishes is the fastest way to end up alone! When you show her that you’re cool with her doing what she wants, you show her that you not only trust her, but that you’re secure enough in yourself that you’re not worried about what is going to happen next. This is an extremely attractive quality in a man!

If you encourage her to go have fun with her other friends, it will create an attractive energy towards you. She’ll be much more interested in you because you’re fun to be around and you’re confident enough that you’re not going to get jealous if she’s hanging out with other people. This will give her the time and opportunity to think about you while she’s away from you and allow her to want you, which is extremely important in any relationship.

If you smother her and put up a fight when she wants to go do things without you, not only are you creating an environment in which she has no room to miss you or want you, you’re also creating a hostile environment that will make her feel trapped and smothered. You’ve heard the saying, “let her go and if she comes back, she’s yours,” right? That definitely applies here!

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So You Like Your Friend’s Ex – Now What?

If you’ve fallen for your friend’s past significant other, you need to consider a lot of things before moving forward. First and foremost, you need to be certain that your friend’s past lover is also interested in you. If you make a move to start dating them and they turn you down, you could still anger your friend. Then you come out a loser not one, but two fronts. Therefore, you really shouldn’t risk damaging your friendship unless you’re dealing with a sure thing.

How Did They Break Up?

Once you’re certain that the object of your affection shares your feelings, you need to consider your friend’s standpoint very carefully. How did his or her relationship end with said person? Did your friend do the dumping, or were they the dump-ee? Was the breakup an ugly or fairly amicable one? Has your friend ever hinted to you that he or she is still attracted to them? Have they mentioned hoping for a reconciliation with this person?

If your friend did the dumping because he or she was looking to move on, you might be okay. Likewise, you can move forward if that friend has moved on themselves and has a new boyfriend or girlfriend. If your friend was dumped and suffered a lot of pain as a result, or if he/she is still mooning after their former flame, you need to hold up. Even if he or she has found a new boyfriend or girlfriend, if their breakup with this ex was particularly messy, you should still give serious pause.

Preserving Your Friendship

The next thing to consider is the state of your friendship. Just how close of friends are you? You must acknowledge that, regardless of how the break up happened, there’s still a chance your friend could become very angry with you. They may even break off your friendship. If the thought of losing this particular friend is too much to bear, then you may have to pass on this romantic opportunity. If this friend isn’t particularly close to you, however, you may find that dating their former partner is more valuable to you than your friendship with them. Just be certain that you know where you stand and assess the risks before proceeding with dating the old lover.

Pursuing A Relationship With The Ex

Should you decide that you are going to start dating your friend’s ex, you need to be very careful about how you handle it. Don’t try to hide it from your friend—that will make things far worse. Lying about or covering it up will only give your friend more things to be mad about. Additionally, it makes you look bad to everyone involved. You’ll seem sneaky and like a backstabber. Instead, be open and up front. Pull your friend aside and let him or her know what’s going on.

Tell your friend that you hope he or she will be understanding, but that you also completely get it if he or she is angry with you. Be sensitive to his or her feelings. You may want to avoid hanging out with your friend as a couple at first. Ease your friend into the situation. If your friend really can’t deal with it, don’t force the issue. Let him or her know that you hope he/she can come around to the idea, then give your friend a lot of space. Hopefully they will eventually be able to move on, and you can all come to terms with you and the former partner dating sooner rather than later.

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Reading The Body Language

So you’ve met someone that you’re interested in, and you’ve decided to ask them out. What now? Before you set a plan in motion, think over the interaction you’ve had with this person so far. You want to be sure they’ll be at least somewhat receptive to your advances. How did they act when you spoke with them in person? Were they upbeat, laughing at your jokes, and smiling a lot? What was their body language like? Did he or she lean in close when you were talking? Did they ever rest their hand on your arm or shoulder, or even give you a hug at the end of the night? All of these actions are indicators that they’re attracted to you.

If they acted in the opposite manner—closed off, somber, etc.—they probably aren’t interested. Don’t waste your time asking someone out, unless the evidence points to them liking you.

Coming Up With The Right Material For A First Date

If the person you’d like to be dating is a friend of a friend, there’s no shame in doing some reconnaissance work. Ask your friend for a little background on your new love interest. This will allow you to come up with a plan for a date that will be that much more enticing. Besides, your mutual friend may mention your interest to the guy or gal you’re pursuing, which will allow your friend to further gauge their interest in you.

If you don’t have a friend in common, try to recall anything that might have come up during your previous conversations with your intended. Did they mention a favorite band or sports team that you could get tickets to see? Maybe they brought up a movie or show they have been hoping to check out. If your date idea references something they mentioned when talking to you, that will show him or her that you’re very attentive and thoughtful.

Making The Phone Call

Now that you’ve got a date plan in mind and have decided that this individual is definitely interested in you, it’s time to call them up. Never invite someone on a date using email or a text message. In an ideal world, you’d be able to ask them in person, but if you’re not going to see each other soon, phone flirting is your best bet. Be simple and straightforward in your speech, without being forceful or over the top.

Say hello and ask how he or she has been doing, then get right to the point. Tell them how you enjoyed talking to them the last time you saw them. Then ask them if they’d be interested in going out with you to whatever event you’ve decided on. Tell them you’d really like to get to know them better in a one-on-one setting, just to make sure they don’t think you’re asking them to a group hang. Thanks to your advance planning and clear, simple wording, odds are very good you’ll get the yes you’re hoping to hear.

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Have Your Own Life

When dating, many guys assume that they have to put all of their time and effort into scoring a date with a girl. Instead of having a life of their own where they do things that they enjoy doing, they sit at a bar waiting for the right girl to walk in. This is not the best way to get a girlfriend! In fact, the best way to meet the right woman for you is to have your own life and do the things you like to do. Be at the places you like to be and take part in activities that make you happy.

What is so great about this is that instead of meeting a woman at a bar, you’ll meet her while doing something that is actually interesting to you and you know you’ll have at least one thing in common with them! If you are too desperate for a relationship, you put off a clingy, needy energy. Women will instantly pick up on this and they’ll actually be repelled by you – not attracted to you. If you have your own life, women will see that you are confident and able to have fun without them – and that you’re fun to be with!

Don’t Be Afraid To Make The First Move

Many guys are afraid to make the first move when playing the dating game, whether it’s flirting with a girl or kissing her. They’re afraid that a woman will reject them if they make the first move, so they play it safe and avoid doing anything at all! These guys may stand in the corner of the bar, looking around at cute women but never taking a step forward to meet them or say hello. If you are too timid when first meeting a woman, you’ll be stuck in the friend zone for sure!

Instead of hanging back and waiting for a woman to approach you, walk up to her and strike up a conversation! Introduce yourself and ask her a question about herself instead of using a lame pickup line. Don’t compliment her looks – instead, compliment her work ethic or tell her how hot it is that she’s into baseball. If she’s responding well to you and seems to be laughing and joking with you, put your hand on her knee or shoulder. Look her in the eyes and if things seem to get romantic, lean in for a kiss. Just don’t go too far before she’s really warmed up to you. Make sure that you are aware of her reactions – don’t push it if she’s not ready.

Show Your Interest Physically Instead Of Verbally

While telling a woman that you like her is one thing, actually showing her is the best way to move from dating to actually getting a girlfriend. This is where reading body language comes in. If you don’t know how to look at her body, the way she is standing and what she’s doing with her hands to tell if she likes you or not, it’s time to learn. Most women won’t flat out tell you that they like you. Instead, she might start touching you while she’s talking to you or lick their lips if she wants you to kiss her. Learn how to read body language instead of asking her if it’s okay for you to kiss her.

If you ask permission, it’s a turn off because it shows that you aren’t aware of her interest. Sure, you’re risking rejection by doing it, but keep in mind that if a girl seems to like you but doesn’t want to kiss you or go home with you, she’s not rejecting you – she’s just rejecting the next step. If you don’t make a big deal out of it, you may get another chance. Remember that the dating game is all about taking risks! Having the confidence to put yourself out there and taking the risk of being rejected by a woman is actually very sexy and attractive!

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Pay Attention To Your Body Language

When dating, most guys try to play it “cool” and avoid looking like they’re desperately looking to score a date. However, this often ends up backfiring in their face, because they start playing it “too cool” and the women they’re interested in have no idea that they’re actually interested! This usually happens subconsciously, because a man’s body language will give everything away if he’s not careful to pay attention to it and make sure his body language is giving the same message that he’s trying to put across. If a guy wants to score a date but is trying to play it cool, his body language may make a girl think he’s not interested in her when he really is. The wrong body language will also make a guy look arrogant, cocky and aloof, preventing any girls from coming up to him and asking him out too! When you’re dating, it’s important that you pay extra attention to your body language so you can give the right message to any lovely lady that you might be interested in.

Be Yourself And Be Honest

Instead of trying to be the guy you think will get all the girls, try being yourself when you’re dating. Be honest about who you are, what you like and don’t like and what is important to you. Stick to your guns and what you believe is right and wrong. There are lots of girls out there that you will hit it off with and will appreciate you for who you are and will appreciate the fact that you’ve been honest about it instead of lying and putting on a fake face like a lot of guys who play the dating scene. If you’re looking for sex only, be honest about it. Let girls know up front what you’re looking for. You may be afraid of doing that because you’re afraid that girls won’t want to have sex with you if you don’t pretend that you’re interested in more, but there are girls out there who are also looking for one night stands too. If you’re dating but interested in a relationship, be honest about that too.

How To Use Compliments

There’s not a woman alive who doesn’t like hearing compliments, but most guys use the wrong ones when they’re dating. Sure, it’s easy to comment a girl on the way she looks, especially if she’s a good looking woman. However, good looking women are used to hearing about how pretty or hot they are so you’re not going to score points for being original. However, if you really want to let a girl know that you’re interested in her, you want to compliment something that is more important to her than just her looks or her hot body. Compliment her about something she’s done or something that she’s achieved that she’s worked hard for. This will mean much more to her than just a canned compliment that she hears often.

Have A Goal In Mind

Most guys approach the dating scene with a goal of talking to a girl, getting her number or asking her out. While this is a good ultimate goal, you should have a smaller goal in mind when you first meet a girl. Your goal is to get her moving with you. Whether it is just a simple walk to the bar or to go get coffee down the street, your goal is to get her away from her friends and walking and talking with you. This will give her a chance to be in your space and you in hers, without the awkwardness of a face to face confrontation right away. Getting her moving is also a great first date idea too. Instead of asking her out for drinks or coffee where you’re both worried about what to say to each other, go out and do something together that you both enjoy such as bowling or taking an art or music class together!

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Here are three of the best ways to bring the oomph back in your relationship and your sex life.

Ask About His Day

Even if you know his routine by heart, you should ask the man you’re dating how his day went. The reason for this is simple but significant: asking means you care. If you just assume that everything went well and that you have a lot more to worry about than his needs or the way he spent his day, that’s when he starts feeling like he’s a fixture.

Comments or questions that encourage him to talk about his activities that day can spark conversation. After you’ve done this a few times, he will go through the day collecting small tidbits of stories he can tell you when he comes home and you ask him how his day went.

Open The Topic On Sex

Innuendo doesn’t have to always come from him. When you casually drop hints that you miss doing it with him, he will assume that you’re in the mood. Doing this will also plant the idea of sex, so that he will think about it even when he wasn’t expecting to have sex with you that night.

Just the thought of sex gets men in the mood, especially if you haven’t been doing it lately. Being playful starts with sexual innuendos, followed by subtle touching and stares that tell him you want him.

Be Touchy-Feely On A Date

A man does not have to be the one doing the asking. Being passive about your dating life will get you nowhere, especially if you’ve been living with the same guy for a long time. Ask him to go with you to the movies, or to a concert, and be touchy-feely when you’re out together.

Public display of affection is a way to increase sexual tension. Men tend to forget to hit on you when you live together. When you’re out on a date, being touchy-feely can make him want to go home as soon as possible. If it’s not possible to go home at once, expect him to reciprocate with his own brand of affection as the sexual tension rises.

If you’re not keen on facing the prospect of a break up, small gestures like these are necessary. Pulling away is the result of not focusing on small things that matter a lot when dating. If your man is not the type to respond well to your gestures, don’t be disillusioned. As long as he feels your sincerity, he will find a way to reciprocate.

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Frequency Of Contact

When you’re dating and trying to figure out if a girl likes you or not, one of the first things you want to look at is who is contacting who and how often. Step back and take a look at your phone and find out if you’re calling or texting her more or if she’s always calling or texting you. If you’re always making the effort to contact her and she rarely (if ever) picks up the phone and makes the effort to contact you, the affection may be a little one sided. She may not be as interested in you as you are in her. However, if she’s calling or texting you back about the same amount that you are with her, then it’s a pretty safe bet that she likes you too and there’s a definite chance for a relationship there. Keep in mind though, if she’s always the one to call you or she’s doing it way too much, she may be a little obsessed with you and that’s not a way you want to start a healthy relationship. If she’s blowing up your phone, she most certainly likes you – but perhaps a little too much.

Does She Take Your Calls?

Another way to find out if a woman you’re considering dating shares romantic feelings for you too is to look at how she responds to your calls. Does she answer the phone within the first few rings when you call no matter what she’s doing? Or does she let it roll to voicemail and get back to you later when it is more convenient for her and she’s not around other people? A girl that likes you is going to answer the phone almost every time you call (with a few exceptions like something really important that is going on at work, etc.), even if she is with her family or friends. If she really digs you, she’s not going to try to hide the fact that you’re calling while she’s spending time with the people that are really important to her in her life. She’s going to pick up the phone and say hello, even if it’s just to tell you she’s up to her ears in work or family and will get back to you later. On the other hand, if she’s often letting your calls roll to voicemail and calling or texting you back later, you can safely assume that she considers whatever she’s doing at the moment you call more important than talking to you.

Ask Her To Do A Favor For You

The litmus test to really find out if the girl you’d like to be dating shares the same feelings as you is to ask her to do a favor for you. This is a big one! Ask her to do a small favor for you (something that doesn’t cost a lot of money or doesn’t take up too much of her time or causes her to go well out of her way) while you’re at work or busy at a family function. Does she do it with no questions asked? Does she seem to be happy to get to do something for you and show you that you’re important to her? Or does she put it off or refuse to do it at all? Does she make excuses as to why she can’t do it, or even flat out tell you she’s too busy? Her willingness to do something for you is a great indication of her interest level and can tell you whether she’d like to be dating you or whether you’re more in the friend zone to her. This can also help a girl that isn’t sure whether she likes you or not realize that she does – because naturally, her brain will ask her why she just did something for you and subconsciously she will realize that it is because she cares for you. It can also help her to like you even more, as she gains satisfaction from seeing you happy with her that she’s done something to help you!

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Eye Contact

Eye contact is a biggie when it comes to flirting. If they’re not looking you in the eye, they either have severe, crippling shyness or they’re just not that interested in what they think you have to offer. However, if he or she is looking you in the eyes when you’re talking, it’s a safe bet they’re totally captivated by what you’re saying. Someone that likes you and wants to date you is going to look at you when you speak and they’ll probably still be looking at you long after you’ve stopped talking. Even someone who is a little shy will glance up a few times at your face to gaze into your eyes. There’s a reason, after all, that it is said that the “eyes are the window to the soul!”

Frequent Touching

When someone makes a point to touch you often, they’re most likely flirting with you and want you to ask them out. They might make excuses to touch you by saying that you had a piece of dirt or lint on your shirt (conveniently placed on an area of your body that he or she wants to touch) or by spilling a drink on you and helping you mop it up. How many guys have gotten to feel a girl up because they “accidentally” spilled their wine on a girl’s shirt and help soak it up with a napkin placed in just the right location? If they lay their hand on your knee during a conversation, wipe an eyelash off your cheek or brush against you when they get up to get a drink or go to the bathroom, they’re definitely interested in you.

Focused On You

If someone is super interested in you, all of their attention is going to be on you. He or she is going to be interested in what you’re saying, listening to the jokes you’re making and offering feedback and stories of their own. This is all part of the dating game and lets the person of interest know that they want to hear what you have to say and are curious about who you are as a person. However, if the person you’re talking to is sneaking looks over at the game, conversing with their friends or are occupied by their cell phones, they’re probably not into hanging out with you. If the person you are flirting with seems distracted in any way, politely end the conversation and move on to get to know someone else. You don’t have to waste your time on account of being polite and friendly.

Smiling And Laughing

A person who is flirting and having a good time is going to be smiling and laughing. They’re going to be engaged in the conversation, and may be exhibiting some of the other telltale clues that they’re into you as well. On the other hand, someone who isn’t having fun or doesn’t seem to be hitting it off with you isn’t going to put on a fake happy face – and if they do, you’ll be able to tell right away. There’s a world of difference between a cheesy fake smile and a genuine smile on the face of a gorgeous guy or gal.

If you’re just not sure that the special someone you are thinking about is thinking about you too, just muster up the guts to ask them out on a date. Sure, you might get rejected or even politely turned down, but asking someone out on a great date is the best way to know if someone likes you for sure. It doesn’t have to be something super fancy or perfect – in fact, it can be a casual lunch or coffee date. While you may think that the clues definitely point to “yes,” there’s no way to tell for certain until you get their number and ask them out!

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Speak Slowly And Clearly

When leaving a voicemail, whether you’re phone dating or calling a number that you’ve scored, it’s important to speak slowly and clearly so you can be understood. When people get stuck with the answering machine instead of the person they want to be dating, they tend to get very nervous clam up. They may not speak at all for several minutes, or they may talk so fast that they’ll never be understood. Speak normally, but slowly and clearly enough that the person listening can understand each word that you’re saying. Just don’t talk too slowly, or the person that’s listening may actually think you’re “slow!”

Leave Your Phone Number

You would be surprised at how many people get nervous and forget to leave who they are or their phone number in the message. If you have to, write it down. Sure, you know your own name and phone number but it’s easy to get so nervous that you forget to say it. Also, remember to say where you met them at the beginning of the call and repeat your phone number again at the end of the call. It may unnerve you to think that they may have forgotten who you are or where they met you from, but we all get busy and things slip from time to time. If they don’t remember where they met you, you’re probably not getting a call back. If you leave a long message, the person listening to it may not have the time to rewind it and listen to the phone number again. Saying your number again at the end of the voicemail gives whoever you want to be dating the opportunity to write it down after they’ve had a chance to listen to who you are and where they know you from.

Practice What You’re Going To Say First

Don’t Be Afraid To Call Back

After leaving a voicemail, give it a few days and if you don’t hear from them, call again. There’s no “phone dating rule” that says you can’t call more than once. Lots of things can happen to sabotage your message actually getting through (in its entirety) to the person you’re looking to start dating. They might not have gotten the message if their voicemail was full, or your phone – or theirs – may have cut out before they got to write down your entire number and they’re not sure how to get a hold of you. The message may have accidentally been deleted, or they simply may have listened to it, meant to call you back and just forgot. There’s no shame in calling again to see if the message actually went through. Just don’t end up on the stalker list – calling back more than a few times is a little creepy.

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Be In The Moment

The best pick up lines come naturally. They come from the heart and are sincere. They’re not canned statements that can be used on any girl – they’re intelligent statements about your surroundings, what is going on and who you’re with. Most women don’t respond to manufactured pick up lines when dating – and not to worry, a girl can smell a fake pick up line from across the room. Rest assured that any cheesy statements will get you rejected! Instead of using canned pick up lines when dating, be “in the moment” and talk to the girl you’re asking out about what is going on around you. Ask her a question, compliment her in a genuine and sincere way or tease her with a giant smile on your face. Avoid making a comment about her physical appearance, especially her body. Gorgeous women are told all the time that they are gorgeous – they want a guy to make an effort to get to know her and value her for her intelligence, not the way she looks.

Be Yourself

When dating, it is important (crucial, in fact) that you be yourself instead of trying to be someone else. Not only will trying to be someone you think girls will like make you feel uncomfortable and out of place, people are going to see it on you right away. If you’re not relaxed and “in your own skin,” you’re not going to look natural when you ask a girl out. You’re going to look nervous and cheesy, and it’s going to be completely obvious to the girl you’re talking to that you’re not being yourself. When talking to a woman, be honest about your hobbies, your work and your opinions about things. Don’t try to tell her what you think she wants to hear, because you’re most likely going to be wrong on that count. You should also make a point to ask her honest questions about her life, her interests and hobbies and her opinions about things. Listen to what she says and do your best to show her that you’re genuinely interested. Women want their voice to be heard and want a guy that will take and interest in what interests them!

Practice Makes Perfect

If you’re shy, dating definitely doesn’t come naturally to you. For shy guys, dating and talking to new people can be downright torturous. You can, however, learn how to get more comfortable with dating and meeting people. The best way to comfortable with meeting new people and talking to them is to get some practice at it. “Practicing” is actually a pretty simple concept, but the hard part comes when you have to actually get out of your comfort zone. Try going out and meeting people! Go to a bar, a bookstore, a fast food restaurant or the park – go anywhere where there are people and make a point to say hello to as many people as you can. Bonus points if you can actually strike up an interesting conversation with someone! When you practice meeting new people, you’ll be much more comfortable when asking a girl out. If you’re comfortable in new social situations, you’re not going to need pick up lines to meet women!

Have Confidence In Yourself

The best way to be successful in dating is to have self confidence. Being confident in yourself is something that shows through in the way you talk, the way you carry yourself and how you appear to other people. Women don’t generally gravitate towards men that are shy, that hang their head down and wait for someone to approach them. Women are attracted to men who are conversational, personable and who eminate self assurance and self confidence. Just be careful not to appear too cocky, because men who give off a “cocky vibe” will definitely not succeed in dating!

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Even if she is not the type to have gone on various dates, you still have to be at your romantic best when you’re out with her. Creating the perfect date takes some effort, but you don’t have to aim for perfection (and do away with the pressure). You can settle for ‘extremely romantic date’ instead.

Blow Bubbles

Here’s a romantic date idea that won’t break the bank. Small bubble tubes (the kind that kids play with) are cheap, so bring a few if you’re planning on just walking around the park while talking and flirting. You can use the bubble tube when you’re sitting on a park bench or on the grass doing nothing but talk and relax.

The romantic part is using the bubbles as a tool for learning about each other. Share one story per bubble blow, or punctuate the end of a story with a stream of bubbles. In a park, during the day, bubbles float upward, which could be quite a sight if you and your woman are feeling sentimental and romantic.

Firecrackers

An alternative to blowing bubbles is lighting firecrackers. This is for those night time dates when you’re outside and you just feel like stargazing together. Small firecrackers are inexpensive, and they can be quite pretty to look at when you’re just sitting around doing nothing but sit close together.

Summertime weather is perfect for lighting small sparklers that only stay lighted for a few minutes. This activity will make any date feel like it’s the fourth of July.

Karaoke

Some guys think that singing karaoke is too passé, too corny and too common. I say they haven’t tried it one-on-one with a special lady. This is your chance to know what kind of music she likes best, and which songs mean a lot to her. Music has a way of making a woman feel deeper emotions. At the very least, you will be able to make her laugh and turn it into an opportunity for fun flirting with your singing.

Rent a karaoke box somewhere for more privacy. If you live alone or your parents are out, you can go for frisky karaoke. Making out cannot be avoided in a karaoke singing session, when she’s acting seductive while singing a love song to you. Pull your weight by singing something romantic, like ‘Michelle’ by the Beatles or some other classic love song.

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Yeah, you don’t want to get caught staring. You don’t want to offend her. Sometimes, you even imagine she can “tell what you’re thinking” and might think you only want her for her body.

The truth is, most women can’t stand being stared at. In fact, the men who stare at them are automatically unattractive to them. However, there are a few ways you can look at a lady and get away without a scratch. In fact, you can look at any woman in these three ways and turn her ON, instead of turning her off.

You’re about to discover how to seduce her with just your eyes (you don’t even need to say a word while you’re looking.) Best of all – these seduction tips make it impossible to “get caught.”

Why Women Are Turned On By Vampires

They are masters of seduction – but why?

Have you ever owned a puppy, or knew someone who owned a puppy? Then you know how much puppies love to have their stomachs rubbed. Do you know why? Well, it’s because there are a whole bunch of nerves on a puppy’s stomach that don’t usually get touched. So a soft touch on this super sensitive part of their body makes them go wild.

How’s this relate to women? Well, the stomach is a sensitive area of YOUR body, as well. Try it out, lightly touch yourself on the stomach. You can really feel it, can’t you? Truth is, there’s another area on your body JUST as vulnerable, sensual and sensitive as your stomach. It’s your neck. The female neck is also a very SEXUAL area of her body, even more than her vagina or clitoris, because she puts perfume on it, loves getting kissed there, and makes sure it looks sexy in any dress she wears.

So what if you stared at her neck, while you two were having an intimate conversation while dating? Here’s what happens: She starts thinking about her neck. And she starts FEELING your eyes on her body. This starts to send the same emotional signals to her brain that get sent when she gets kissed on her neck.

In this respect, staring at her neck while you two are sharing an intimate moment is the same as gently kissing or nibbling on her neck and it has the same effect ON HER BODY.

So try this seduction technique. Next time there’s a two second break in your conversation, take those seconds watch the nape of her neck. She’ll get off on it. And you’ll give her an emotional experience no man she’s ever met has given her, before.

Making Eye Contact

Being able to master eye contact is absolutely critical in the art of seduction (seduction really is an art)! It builds trust, because prolonged eye contact (longer than 3 seconds) releases the bonding chemical oxytocin. And this is the same chemical released when you two are cuddling in bed after sex. It’s in much smaller quantities – of course – but it still has an amazing effect.

However, “too much” eye contact can be intimidating and down right creepy! Ever had a boss “stare you down?” It’s a miserable feeling. So what should you do with your eyes, if you’ve had “too much” eye contact? How about you turn her on?

Try this incredibly effective seduction technique next time your on a date.

Take your eyes, and lightly dart down to her lips. Just for a second. And then look at different parts of her face, like her cheeks… the corners of her eyes, her temples, and other parts of her face. Your goal is to look at any part of her face you’d like to kiss. Because, like in the example before, a strong look on a certain part of your body releases the same emotions and chemicals as a light kiss does.

So “placing” your eyes on her face like you’d place your lips will get her imagining you kissing her face. And all of the bonding emotions that releases will make your first date – or even your relationship – much, much stronger.

How To Make Awkward Pauses Sexy

What can you do when you have a few seconds without speaking when you’re dating? It’s easy – look deep into her eyes. This builds a HUGE amount of romance and sexual tension.

Most of the time, men try to “fix” an awkward pause with a joke or something to diffuse the tension. This comes across as try hard, and is never attractive to women. However, just looking into her eyes tells her you’re OK with silences. You’re OK just being yourself around her. And this is extremely attractive to women.

Imagine a girl saying, “Hey. I feel like I can be myself around you. You just make me feel comfortable.” That’s the sign you’re sending to her. And that’s the message she CRAVES when she’s dating a strong man, like you.

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Be Truthful With Each Girl

If you want to have multiple girlfriends, you’re going to have to be completely, 100% truthful with each girl that you’re seeing. Let each one know that you’re dating other people and you’re not going to be exclusive. That way, if she’s looking for an exclusive relationship, she can look for one elsewhere before you both have too much time and emotion invested into a relationship that really isn’t going to be a relationship at all. Yes, this is difficult to do because some women will look at you like you’ve grown feet on your head and others will walk right out on you. However, the right girls won’t mind that you’re looking for a casual relationship and are seeing other people. They’ll be interested in casual dating too and will truly appreciate that you were completely forthcoming about your other girlfriends from the get go.

Let Her Know That You Like Her

In addition to being open with each girlfriend that you have, another trick to seeing  more than one woman is to let each girl know that you really do like her or love her. It’s ok to like or love more than one girl at a time, so don’t be afraid to tell a woman that you love her if you also have romantic feelings for someone else that you’re dating. Women by nature want to feel loved and cherished, and if you make each girlfriend feel like they are important to you and mean something to you, they’ll be more apt to stick around, even if you are romancing more than one woman.

Be Discreet About Your Dating Habits

When you have multiple girlfriends, it’s important that you keep your dating habits to yourself. Yes, you’ve been genuine with each woman that you date that you’re not in an exclusive relationship with them, but that doesn’t mean that any of the girls you’re dating want to see evidence of your relationships with other women. Don’t have pictures of you and your multiple girlfriends in your home (that is, if you bring any of your dates to your house) and don’t post pictures on social websites such as Facebook or MySpace. This will only lead to trouble and more trouble! Even if you do have multiple girlfriends, if you make each woman feel as though she is your only girl (even though they know it’s not true), you will have much more success than if you make them feel as though they’re not the only one. This truly is the key to seeing more than one woman at a time – if you can make each one feel special, loved and important, you’re in the clear.

What To Do If You Want To Become Exclusive

If you decide that you want to have an exclusive relationship with one of the women you’re dating, it’s important that you let each one of your multiple girlfriends know immediately. Don’t wait, and don’t continue dating them if you truly just want to be in a relationship with only one of them. It may be difficult to let your girlfriends know that you don’t want to see them anymore, but it will allow them to move on with their own lives and search out relationships of their own. It will also help you to be frank with the girl that you’ve chosen to be with, so you can let her know that you’ve decided you want to be with her and only her. A break up is a difficult thing and you’ll have more than one on your hands, but that’s one of the caveats of having multiple girlfriends. You may also want to give yourself some time apart from your chosen significant other – if you had any emotional attachments to the other women you were with, you’re going to have some post-break up blues for a little while. You don’t want to let your significant other see the emotions you have about breaking up with the other women because she may doubt that you made the right choice and that you want to be with her and only her.

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Take A Ride At The Amusement Park

Who doesn’t love the nostalgic feeling of eating cotton candy and riding the rides at an amusement park? This is an excellent opportunity for flirting like you’re both teenagers again. Bonus points if you win her a stuffed animal from one of the carnival games.

Have A Lunch Date

Dinner is cliche, but having a lunch date isn’t! It’s a casual way to get to know someone, without the pressures that an intimate, romantic dinner on a first date can bring. If there’s chemistry there, you can take a longer lunch or extend the date – but if there’s none, a quick lunch is a great excuse to keep it short and sweet.

Learning Something New Together

Taking a class with someone you’re interested in is a great first date idea. Learning something new together is a great way to bond emotionally and to discover the chemistry between you two.

The Beach Or Lake

A romantic walk on a moonlit beach is every girl’s fantasy, but make sure to keep your eyes on her and not on the other eye candy that might be strolling around on the sand. This is a great way to turn a simple date into something much, much more.

Pool, Golf, Or Game Of Your Choice

A little friendly, flirty competition may be exactly what you need to secure a second date. Don’t forget to make a wager – loser takes the winner out for dinner next time.

Wine Tasting

Going wine tasting gives you a legitimate reason to have a few drinks to help your first date nerves! It’s also a great way to experience and taste new wines and cheeses and is a great date for two people who truly enjoy wine. Bonus points for finding a special new wine that becomes “our wine.”

Take Her Bowling

Bowling is great way to check out just how competitive he is! Whether you are any good at it or not, it is a laid back activity that gives you a chance to have a laugh together and relax. It’s great for a bit of flirting and he can use his manly skills to show you just how it’s done.

Head Out For A Bike Ride

Free, fun activities are great first date ideas in the credit crunch and enjoying the outdoors is one of the best. Unlike going for a long walk, a bike ride means you don’t have the pressure of having to find constant conversation. Take a picnic and stop for some nice leisurely breaks together when you want to talk and get to know each other.

Go For Dessert

When money is tight, there should always still be room for dessert, so why not make it the highlight of the night? It is a bit more fun and quirky than going for dinner, it makes for a cheap first date, and there is less pressure to find enough conversation to fill three courses. It’s also super romantic and sexy because you can feed each other small bites of the most decadent pies and cakes!

Roller Skating Or Ice Skating

Roller skating or ice skating makes for an excellent first date, especially if one of you is better than the other at the activity. “Teach” your partner how to roller or ice skate, or let them teach you! This is a romantic way to bond and you’ll probably end up in each other’s arms (and on the ground) more than once!

Go Scuba Diving Or Snorkeling

Scuba diving or snorkeling is a completely unique first date idea. If you live nearby an ocean or beach, explore the fish, coral reefs and marine life together. You won’t have the pressure of making a ton of conversation (because you’ll be underwater most of the time), but there will be plenty of time to connect with each other before the swim and after. You’ll also get to check out each other in your bathing suits! Bring a picnic lunch or dinner just in case everything goes well – besides, you’ll both be hungry after the swim!

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Dating doesn’t come naturally – most successful daters have been doing it for awhile and have learned from their mistakes. If you want to be good at it, you have to not only learn the correct techniques to use (what to say and when to say it), but you also have to practice! Practice, of course, makes perfect. It’s not about pick up lines or how “suave” you are or even how good looking you are.

Getting a date is much more about being real and connecting with someone with whom you have chemistry. Finding this person, however, can be the hard part. Here are our top dating tips of the past year – use them to create a new year’s dating plan!

• Dating Tips For Women – How To Get A Date (Video)
• Online Dating – How To Tell The Real Deal From A Total Fake
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• Dating Tips: How To Be Memorable Without Being Creepy (Video)
• How To Tell If He – Or She – Is Interested In You
• Top Things Women Do To Screw Up A First Date
• Q&A: Flirting Tips – How To Deal With That Awkward Silence (Video)
• Top Things Men Do To Screw Up A First Date
• Q&A: How To Ask A Good Friend To Go On A Date (Video)
• Q&A: Dating A Younger Man – Is It OK? (Video)
• Q&A: Blind Date Tips (Video)

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They catch her attention by saying something “out of left field.” Sometimes it’s even downright RUDE! And in this article, you’ll discover three of these “Rude” things you can say to a woman to grab her full attention.

You’ll find out how to follow them up with a compliment or just small talk to win her heart. And you’ll be able to walk right up to a beautiful woman, grab her full attention in two sentences and be just one step away from getting her phone number. (Especially if you know her already)

Here’s exactly what you gotta say:

“Whoa. You Can’t Just Do That…”

Guaranteed to stop a woman in her tracks. You’d say this to a woman you see on the street, or sit next to on the subway, or even a woman you see shopping for clothes at the mall. You can use this flirting technique on women who are working, or women you work with. Even with college students or women you see everyday. The “trick” here is to follow it up with a compliment about something she’s doing. For example:

• “Whoa. You can’t just do that.” “What?” “When you walk in here smiling like that, I lose my whole train of thought”
• “Whoa. You can’t just do that.” “What?” “Your smile is too pretty to walk right by me without saying hi.”
• “Whoa. You can’t just do that.” “What?” “Something about your energy is messing with me. I can’t take my eyes off of you.”

You get the idea, right? Of course – you’re catching her attention with a kind of rude sentence, then flipping it around to a positive compliment. You’ll have her full attention and the SURPRISE sexual attraction she gets when she meets someone truly charming.

“I Can’t Believe You Just Did That!”

You want to use this one after she DOES something. Your goal here is to make her think, “Wait. Did I just do something embarrassing or wrong?” And it’s OK to make her think this because you’re about to make her feel good with a compliment.

Here are some examples:

• “I can’t believe you just did that.” “Did what?” “The way you looked at me made my heart skip a few beats. What’s your name?”
• “I can’t believe you just did that.” “Did what?” “Walked right by me without apologizing.” “For what?” “For having such a great smile, I forgot everything I was thinking about.”
• “I can’t believe you just did that.” “Did what?” “The way you move has almost a hypnotizing effect. And for a split second, every single person in this room was looking at you. What’s your name?”

And this time, we added a second step to the pick up line. Sometimes, this step was to ask her for her name. (This lets you transition into small talk easier) And once, you made the tension even greater, by adding another “rude” statement in the middle.

Now you’re starting to see how powerful this type of flirting really is.

“Are You Seriously Going To Do That?”

You know the drill by now – make her freeze up, then give her a compliment. So let’s see how you’d use this “rude” statement:

• “Are you seriously going to do that?” “Do what?” “Walk right by me without saying hi.” (This one should be done with a smile and a playful, flirting attitude.
• “Are you seriously going to do that?” “Do what?” “Walk right by me without saying hi.” She laughs “What’s your name?”

In this example, you “evolve” one of these rude statements into a conversation.

First, it’s just the “rude” statement and a teasing compliment. (This is like flirting, or bantering with her.)

Second, you ask “What’s your name?” to add some small talk. Third, you tell her your name, and then ask her what she’s up to. This way, you get her name (she’ll tell you because you told her) and you’re on a better small talk conversation.

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Date Other Women

Dating other women and creating a little “friendly competition” is a great way to break out of the friend zone. A woman who consideres you a really good friend may realize that she likes you as more than that once you start dating someone else. A fair number of women (in fact, a lot of them) tend to want what they “can’t” have. Before, she didn’t see a need to start dating you because you were available to her and gave her the emotional intimacy she wanted in a friendship type relationship. However, when you start dating someone else, she will miss that connection you two had and be a little jealous of the girl you’re dating, prompting her to make a move and ask you out.

Plan Something Crazy – Then Kiss Her

Take some time to plan a great date doing something amazing. Plan a trip to an amusement park, go ice skating or do something else super fun and a little crazy. Right when she’s having an awesome time and is filled with happy, positive emotions, you’re going to lean in and kiss her. Kissing her at the perfect moment is going to do one of two things. It will most likely turn into a great kiss and make her realize she has romantic feelings for you – or, she’ll simply let you know that she’s not interested in being more than friends with you. However, if you play your cards right and make your first move at the perfect time and place, she will be much more likely to accept your invitation for a romantic relationship. If you’ve been friends for a long time, you may be tempted to use this opportunity to tell her you love her. Avoid this at all costs! You don’t want to overwhelm her by confessing that you’re in love with her or have loved her for a long time. Instead, just leave it open ended. Establish that you both have romantic feelings for each other and then just continue having a great time! You can talk about being in love or being in a relationship later – much later.

Stop Confiding In Her

To get out of the friend zone, you must first figure out how you got there in the first place. The most common way that guys get stuck in a friendship type relationship rather than a romantic one is they start confiding their own problems in their love interests and offering a shoulder to cry on for her when she’s talking about her problems. This is a great way to build an intimate friendship, but women with “guy friends” like this will only ever see them as friends and not in a romantic way. What you need to do is stop confiding in her – when you go out with her, instead of having a “talk” or discussion, practice flirting and having a good time. Show her that you enjoy flirting with her and want to be romantic with her.

How To Downplay It If She’s Not Interested

If you find out she’s not interested in you that way, you may be scared that you’re going to lose the friendship. This is actually a huge reason that many guys won’t let a girl know they’re into them romantically – because they’re not only scared of rejection, but they’re also scared of losing any relationship they have with their girl at all. Whether she stays friends with you after she declines your offer for a romantic relationship isn’t up to her – it’s up to you. Just don’t let it get weird! Go back to doing the same things you were before and simply say, “You can’t blame a guy for trying.” Because you really can’t!

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The real question is, how would you make it happen? How can you get a woman to invite you in after your very first date? The answer is so simple, it’s obvious: Go on a great first date.

In this article, you’ll discover five great first dates you can take any beautiful woman on so you can get laid. They’re proven winners for me and thousands of other men from around the world. And they’re fun first dates she’s NEVER been on, ever before. So you’ll “wow” her, no problem.

Check Out Her Toy Collection

Girls are silly, emotional creatures. And these silly, playful emotions are what makes her so fun when having sex. So go on a first date that gets her juices flowing. And make her laugh and smile more than any other man she knows.

Taking her to Toys R Us – or any toy store – for a first date lets you both play with stuff, hands on. So you’re sharing an activity (something most women complain men don’t do ENOUGH.) Plus, she’ll let her guard down around you. And you’ll be able to start flirting with her on a deeper, more sexual level.

Here are some great, fun activities you two can do, together, on your Toys R Us date:

• Build your fantasy castle with Legos (some Toys R Us have block pits, others don’t. If  the local store in your town doesn’t, do it in her mind – ask her what her ideal Lego castle palace would look like)
• Ask her what her favorite childhood toy was, and why (you can always buy it for her later on in your relationship – earning you HUGE brownie points)
• Throw the bouncy balls back and forth (you can even carry one with you, to bonk her with, when she’s not looking)
• Generally – if it makes her laugh and smile, you’re doing something right. And it’s impossible to go wrong, when you’re surrounded by toys.

How To Use Whipped Cream On A First Date

Take your date to a cooking or baking class, where you two can make something together. Then, once you’ve finished making the food, eat it together. If  she is creative and/or has tons of other guys chasing her, you’ll stand out head and shoulders above the rest. Not to mention, you’ll start to build “long term potential” so you’ll have less “resistance” when you two start to get intimate, later on in the night.

Where can you find these great cooking dates? Try sites like www.Groupon.com. They’ll hook you up with great deals and huge discounts.

Here are a few tips to make your cooking and dinner date even more fun:

• Have a dessert date, instead of a dinner one (the food is lighter, so she won’t feel full and unsexy later, when she goes to take off her clothes)
• Not to mention chocolate is a gigantic aphrodisiac (guaranteeing your woman is “in the mood” once the sun sets)
• Paint her with food – whipped cream, chocolate sauce or tomato sauce on her nose. (Teasing like this gives you “bad boy” sex appeal without being a jerk – keep it off her clothes, though)
• Compliment her on how well she’s doing. Giving her approval now will make her feel special and loved, making her willing to give compliments, praise and sex, to you.

If You’re Going To Do Dinner, Do This Instead

Take your date to a restaurant with a “theme.” This includes places like Ninja restaurant, the Rainforest Cafe and THOUSANDS of other, smaller bars and cafes. You’re looking for a place with a warm, friendly atmosphere. In a big city, look for places the “locals” hang out. Ideally, places with lots of character.

Piano bars are great for this. As are some diners, some cafes and any SPECIALTY coffee shop or bar. In smaller towns, this is a much harder option to find, however, you two can make a trip to the big city, together, and treat this dinner like a mini vacation. (Save traveling together for a second or third date, though)

Once you’re at a nice local place that’s “off the beaten path,” here’s how to make the most of your first date:

• When you order, ask the server what he or she recommends. Go with one of the answers, no matter what it is. (This shows you’re open to new experiences and adventures – very attractive to women. Also, you’re able to lead others and make quick decisions. Little things like this COUNT)
• Order her something you think she’ll like, for dessert. (Women like a man who leads, so here’s exactly what you should say, “My friend came here and said X DESSERT was great. You’ve got to try it, so I’ll order us one.” Say this right before your waiter comes over, then give him or her your order)
• After dinner, include an activity that lets you two just sit around and talk. Sitting in a park, watching the stars and finding some place to just people watch are all great ideas. (You want to let her settle and digest, plus special “mood” and “bonding” chemicals come out right after dinner, when you sit down and relax)

Shop For Cars, Clothes & Houses

Window shopping is the be-all, end-all way to impress a woman you just met. It’s the ultimate fantasy: You take a woman to the most expensive stores you can find, or on a walk around one of the really fancy neighborhoods. And you ask her what she’d like to own. You make her imagine owning it. Then you both feel like you’ve just lived “the good life” together, making her emotional bond to you super strong.

Here are the keys to some bad ass window shopping dates:

• Start the date like this, “I like to walk around and look at all the high quality stuff wealthy people can buy. It motivates me to make something of myself and keep on going, even when the times get tough.” (You’re showing her your motivation and your passion for life. This is a MASSIVE turn on, for her)
• Go for the big, BIG ticket items – Window shopping clothes and jewelry is cool, but if she’s into cars, go check out Ferraris and Aston Martins, instead. (And if she’s a clothes girl, find the nicest places in town. Bigger prices mean bigger fantasies)
• Have fun! Relax! And remember to ask: “Which one of these do you like best?” Followed by: “Why?”

Get Messy Together

This first date idea isn’t for the faint of heart. Or for the timid. Or for most women.

But if she is an adventurous, tough girl on your hands, try inviting her to a paintball match. (You’ll want to run it by her, beforehand) The adrenaline, the teamwork and the physical movement together will a) make her have tons of fun and b) get her emotions and hormones charged up for sex, later.

Plus – It’s impossible not to be flirty with someone when they just shot a paintball at your face.

Here are the key tips to great paintball dating:

• Go for two or three games – no more, no less. You want one game on her team, one game on the other. And you want it to end before either of you get bored. Short and sweet is best of all.
• When you are on her team, stay close and protect her. When you’re on the other, make sure to target her out. This way, you’re protecting her and pushing her buttons – both highly emotionally intense for a woman.
• Again, always have fun! (So for this date, you’ll want to run it by her in advance. For most others, you can surprise her with it)

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Bad news is, you’ll probably be in that situation AGAIN, if it’s happened to you, once. Trust me, I’m an expert on these kind situations. Until ten years ago, every single second of my life was a strange situation. That’s why I discovered 5 things I could do to use my quirkiness when flirting with women I liked.

And in this article, you’ll discover 5  tips to flirt with a woman YOU like. You’ll discover how to turn your mind going “blank” into a real asset, and you’ll become miles more attractive to the women you like, without doing any extra work, yourself.

Let me show you exactly what I mean.

Send Her A Stuffed Animal

No, not after you’ve started dating. That’s way too smooth. Instead, you’re going to send her a stuffed animal after your very first date. Or maybe before your first date!

Here’s exactly, step by step, the tricks to making this flirt work:

1. Somehow talk about how she wants a puppy or kitten (Hint: Every single girl alive has some sort of desire for a puppy or a kitten, even if it’s just for the future)
2. Get her to name it.
3. Buy a stuffed puppy or kitten.
4. Give it a collar with X name.
5. Give it to her, next time you hang out.

You’ll earn MASSIVE flirting points. Here’s why it works: Not only did you remember exactly what she said (you used her name, to prove you were listening) but also, you took time out for romance.

If this doesn’t melt your woman’s heart, her heart is made of ice.

Have A Friend Tell Her You Like Her

Welcome to the fourth grade again. Please take a seat.

So you want to be a little quirky and still be good at flirting with women, huh? This is about as weird as it gets: Making your friend ask the girl you like whether she likes you or not.

The trick here is the timing. And if you get this right, you can practically guarantee she’s going to fall in love with you.

1. Wait until the answer is “Yes.” This usually means waiting until after you two have sex a few times.
2. REMEMBER: There’s no reason to stop flirting with your partner, after sex.
3. Have your friend ask a funny, but easy question. “My friend wants to know if you think he’s cute” comes to mind.
4. When he asks, be right there, standing on the other side of the room.

She’ll look at you, you’ll look back, and she’ll laugh hysterically. And you’ve successfully turned a VERY odd technique into a very successful way to flirt with a lady.

Now, you’re going to start to get a little more devious….

Make Fun Of Her

What’s the most strange way to flirt with a girl? Ruthlessly making fun of her, of course! We used to do it when we were children - in adults, it’s commonly known as “Jersey Shore Syndrome” and It’s one of the BEST things you can do to tease and flirt with a lady you just met.

Here are the three things you MUST keep in mind, to successfully make fun of someone you like:

1. Don’t pull your punches. Make sure you really make it silly. If she’s reading a comic book, say, “I can see you’ve got great taste in literature.”
2. Do it all serious. Straight face. Eye contact. Just a HINT of a smile. You really want her to buy it.
3. Play the waiting game. She’s gonna try to test you, by taking a few seconds to laugh, herself. Count to three in your head and then you can start to smile.

She’ll smile along with you, then laugh along with you, and most of the time, a joke like this will get you a laugh and a pat on the arm. You know what it means when she laughs AND touches you, right? It means she’s flirting with you! Mission accomplished.

Dress Up And Play Pretend Together

Imagine walking up to a woman and asking her, “Would you like to play dolls with me?” That’s the definition of a weird moment. Yet, playing pretend and acting out fantasies with a woman you’re dating is a sure-fire way to win her heart.

So what’s the difference? And how do you make role-playing an “adult” game? Here are the secrets:

1. Don’t ask her to play along. Just start fantasizing with her. For example, if you both see a great travel poster or advertisement, turn to her and say: “Baby, I’m so glad you’re here on vacation with me in ”
2. She’ll either play along, or not quite get it yet. If she doesn’t play along, just keep with it. You want to treat her like she’s missing out on an inside joke.
3. When she picks it up, keep on role playing together. You do this by acting like you’re somewhere else, together. So simply describe what you see, feel and feel like.

Want to know a dirty trick? A trick to make your role playing make her fall in a whole ‘nother level of love for you? Role play as if you two are “old lovers,” finally meeting after a long time apart. So pretend you were childhood sweethearts who lost each other, but finally got back together.

You can do this by simply acting “as if.” Imagine what you would do if you were on a vacation with a long lost lover of your own, then simply act it out.

Women can’t get enough of this stuff. And the men she knows don’t do it, EVER.

Let Her Win – And Embarrass Her For It!

Not only should you let her win at pool, or whatever other game you two are playing together, you should let her win – and make sure she knows it!

Because there’s nothing crazier than saying, “Yeah, you won because I let you win” unless it’s actually the truth.

Here’s how to pull this flirting move off:

1. Pick a game where skill – not luck – is what you need to win. Pool comes to mind, because it’s physical, you can tease her by messing with her balls, etc.
2. Make sure you’re better than her at the game.
3. Win until the very last ball. Hopefully, by now, you’ll have a few ball lead, and then…
4. Blow it all. Jokingly miss shots until she wins the game!

Here’s the kicker: When she wins, you don’t want to say, “I let you win.” Instead, you want to say, “Baby, you won! Look how good you did.” And laugh and flirt together over it. Because if you do this right, you’ll be laughing together from the very first second you start missing shots until she – FINALLY – wins the game.

It’s a great way to bond and a fun means of flirting. If she doesn’t play punch you after this, she doesn’t have a funny bone in her body.

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Kissing Mistakes Almost Every Guy Makes

There are two types of kisses that will send a lady running for the hills. Many guys get so nervous and worked up when flirting with a woman that they talk almost non-stop and rush into a kiss before she even has a chance to figure out what is going on. This can make her recoil quickly, which is definitely not the desired reaction to a first kiss. Men will also try their hardest to put a “romantic movie finish” on the end of a date, which may not feel like the right thing to do at the time. He’ll go in for the “movie star” style kiss, which often ends up being awkward or jerky because it’s not the right thing for that particular moment.

Set The Mood

The environment and the mood surrounding a kiss is an essential part in making the atmosphere “feel right” for what is about to happen. Make sure you and your girl are both comfortable and relaxed. You should be sitting close together, perhaps with your hand on her leg or touching each other in some way. Jumping in and kissing her after sitting across the room for ten minutes is just going to be awkward – especially if it’s the first time with a new date! Choose an intimate, romantic spot and spend some time just talking to each other, flirting and building that emotional intimacy. A great first kiss is something that happens naturally, because it’s the “natural” next step to take with each other in that moment. A bad kiss is one that is forced and uncomfortable or awkward and jerky.

Is She Ready To Be Kissed?

Part of making sure you’re kissing your woman at the right time is reading and interpreting her body language. Believe it or not, she’s using her body language to let you know that she’s wanting you to make the next move – you just have to pick up on it. Here are some things she’ll do if she’s showing you she wants you to move on in for a soft peck – or more.

• Is she leaning towards you or getting closer to you?
• Is she making an effort to touch you in some way?
• Does she seem to really want to be in your space?
• When you touch her, does she pull away or lean in for more?
• Is she watching your mouth or watching your lips move when you speak?
• Is she licking her lips?
• Is she flirting back?

Use Your Own Body Language

Practice flirting with your date and get her primed for a kiss by using your own body language to signal to her what you want to happen next. Here are some great ways you can signal to your lady that you want to move on to the next step and start kissing or making out with her.

• Lick your lips or watch her lips as she speaks
• Switch from looking her in the eyes to watching her mouth
• Lean in close to gauge her reaction to your flirting
• Touch her in some way, by leaning up against her or laying your hand on her leg as you talk to each other

Making The Move

If she seems like she’s wanting to be kissed, don’t hesitate to make the first move. Don’t wait – if your gut is telling you that now is the right time, it’s important that you take advantage of it. A common way that guys turn a perfect moment into an awkward one is waiting too long after the time is “right” to make a move and flirting with her when she’s really ready for you to put your mouth on hers. If she’s showing you that she’s wanting to kiss, but it doesn’t seem like she wants to rush into it, don’t be afraid to take it slow and make baby steps. You don’t have to go into a full on make out session right away – a soft peck or sweet kiss is just fine for the first time. Use your instinct to judge what feels right and when.

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Safety First!

When it comes to dating, it’s easy to let your hormones and emotions get in the way of making rational decisions. However, it’s important to remember that you really don’t know someone until you’ve had the first date and have hung out with them a few times. You may think you know them from the conversations that you’ve had through the online dating website, but your imagination will never fail to fill in the gaps and convince you that you know someone when you really don’t. Always keep safety in mind during online dating and hooking up with someone for the first time.

1. Meet In A Public Place. Always make your first date with someone you’ve met on the Internet in a public place during the day, where there are lots of other people around. This ensures that if your date was planning something sly, they definitely won’t try to pull it off in a public place during the day. If you meet someone online and they only want to meet up with you at night or in a place where not a lot of people go, you know what to do – kick them to the curb and look for someone else a little less shady.

2. Plan For A 30 Minute First Date. When making plans for your first time with someone in person, make it a short introduction at first to meet them and get acquainted with them. This isn’t where you’re going to really get to know them or learn all of their deep, dark secrets. You can still have a great relationship later on with someone, even if you didn’t spend hours talking to them on a magical first date. Set a time up to meet your date right before you have “something else you need to get to” and leave it at that. If the first date went poorly and you didn’t connect well with them, you’ll be glad you gave yourself the out ahead of time. If you do end up connecting with them, schedule another time to hook up when you have more time.

3. Tell A Friend. When going on a date for the first time with someone that you met through online dating, make sure you let a trusted friend know what is going on. Always tell your friend where you’re going, who you’ll be with, how long you’ll be gone and how to reach you while you’re there. If you turn up MIA, your friend will be able to contact the authorities right away before something really bad happens. While abductions and date rape during first dates are somewhat uncommon, don’t ever assume that it’s not going to happen to you. By taking a few simple precautions, you can be sure you won’t end up one of the statistics.

4. Check In With Your Friend. After your first date is over, make sure you check in with your friend. Let them know you’re safe and sound so they won’t worry about you – or worse, contact the authorities when it is completely uneccessary. Always take these two steps the first few times you go somewhere with someone that you met online dating.

5. Never Meet Alone. It may seem harmless, but you never want to meet someone for the first date at their home, a hotel or motel room or anywhere at night. This can be very dangerous! Again, if someone only wants to meet you at these places, they’ve probably got something up their sleeve.

When To Practice Online Dating Safety Tips

It may be difficult, but you always want to take these precautions for the first three or four dates, or longer if you’re not completely comfortable with someone yet. You’ll generally get an idea of whether someone is “for real” or not over the first few dates. If they’re making stuff up or being shady, it’s not going to take you very long to figure it out and move on to someone who isn’t wasting your time. Don’t ever go on a first date with someone you met online without taking a few safety precautions because you think nothing bad will happen to you. If something bad goes down, you’ll really wish you had. The best way to have fun is to stay safe!

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In fact, there are just as many WOMEN out looking for a one night stand as MEN out looking for a one night stand. So why is it so damn tough to hook up? It’s because you’re looking in the wrong place!

So in this article, you’ll discover the 5 most popular places most men go to have a one night stand and why they’re the TOUGHEST places in the whole world to meet a girl.

Sports Bars/Watering Holes

You figure: Well, since it’s a bar, not a club, the people are more laid back and relaxed. The girls are more open to sex. And I feel comfortable here. This should be easy.

The reality: Bars are the TOUGHEST place to pick up ladies for a one night stand. Why?

• Her friends are here, watching her. They’ll judge her if she goes home with a guy.
• Other people see her here every week, and if she goes home with you, she’ll seem like a slut.
• She probably just wants to hang out and grab a drink with a few friends, not get approached by some horny stranger.

So if you’re trying to meet women at a bar, for a one night stand, you’ve got your work cut out for you.

How can you increase your chances of having sex? Imagine you know her from high school, and approach her that way. No, don’t say it – just think it.

For example: You approach with a friendly energy, like you already know her. You jump into the conversation, instead of starting a new one. And you talk to her AND her friends, before you pull her away.

Dance Clubs

You figure: Girls say they go to clubs to “dance with their friends.” That’s got to be bullshit. The only reason a woman would get dressed up like that and get that drunk is if she wanted to meet guys.

The reality: Some girls – a lot of them – actually go to clubs to dance with their friends. I wouldn’t believe it either, if my girlfriend didn’t head out every couple of weeks to dance with her friends, then come home, alone, and still stone sober.

So what you didn’t realize is THOSE ladies don’t want to be bothered. The same way you wouldn’t want to be bothered if you were hanging out with your friends at a bar. However, there’s probably an obstacle you DIDN’T predict:

• “The Club Scene” has it’s own rules and culture. If you’re not in it, you stick out like a sore thumb.
• The hottest women in the clubs are ALL in “the club scene,” and know all the “club scene” people at that club. If YOU aren’t in “the scene,” she can’t go home with you. It’s MAJOR negative points to her credibility in “The Scene.”

So have you ever wondered how come the HOTTEST girls in any given club just blow guys off, left and right? It’s not necessarily because she’s a bitch. It’s because going home with someone who’s not in “the scene” would ruin her social life, for good.

How can you fix that? Become part of “the scene.” Then you can flirt with her and take her home because you’re part of the crowd. Honestly though, unless you already enjoy going out clubbing 5-7 nights a week, this “scene” probably isn’t for you.

Meeting Women Online

You figure: Lots of hot women don’t like bars and clubs, and with all the Match.com advertisements, there must be plenty of chicks online. I’ve got cool interests, this should be easy.

The reality: Ever been at a party with two guys for every girl? It’s tough as hell to meet those chicks, because everybody and their brother is fighting for their attention. In the same way YOU would get tons of attention, if you took a baking or cooking class with a bunch of women. Girls at male dominated parties all of the sudden have choice, selection and power.

Now, imagine if that party had 6 or 7 men for every single attractive woman. That’s exactly what the online dating ratio is like because commercials on TV suck in average men like you and me. But the women come at a much slower pace. And the hot ones leave, right away, when they see the creepy messages they get.

This means women who date online are:

• Bombarded with messages. Want to see how many? Open a fake account using profile pictures from a hot friend of yours, or woman you know. See what messages you get from guys.
• Drunk with power. Imagine if every time YOU logged into an internet dating website, there were 30 messages waiting for you.
• These women are itching for a man to commit to a long, steady relationship – before – she has sex with him.

If you’re looking for a one night stand, close your computer. It won’t do you any good.

Strip Clubs

You figure: Ladies who work in strip clubs must be super sexy, and easy. They take their clothes off for money, for crying out loud!

The reality: Strippers have the most “game” out of any woman alive. Their jobs REQUIRE them to milk as much money out of you as possible. This doesn’t make them “evil” women – no, no. This makes them good at their profession.

This also means:

• Any affection you get from a stripper is probably trying to get money from you. Lots of teasing, lots of flirting, and all of it leading to more expensive, private dances.
• Most offers to come home with you aren’t on the “up and up” if you catch my drift.
• Finally, strippers – like “club girls” – have their own sets of dating and sex rules. Many far too complicated to mention, here.

So if you want to date – or sleep with – a stripper, you’ve got your work cut out for you. A one night stand? You’re barking up one of the TOUGHEST trees out there, partner.

Giving Your Ex A Booty Call

You figure: You already had sex with your ex-girlfriend. She always said it was good. And since she’s still single, maybe she’d like to come over to bump uglies.

The reality: Your timing is probably not the best, because you’re somewhat “desperate” for sex. And she can smell that on you, coming from a mile away. So if you finally get the booty call, here’s what you can expect:

• Lots of her trying to be “in the right” for your breakup.
• Lots of blame games, bullshit and fighting.
• Her pretending to be “disgusted” that you still want sex.

Let’s say you two DO hop in the sack. You’ll probably start to build a relationship again. Probably one that’s got SERIOUS flaws. And definitely not a one night stand.

The Easiest Place To Have A One Night Stand

It’s very simple: Anywhere you can meet a woman, during the day. Because when you meet women during the day, she’s not expecting there to be a sexual spark. When there is, she’s got less “shields” up against you. Mostly because this has never happened to her, before.

And she’ll be excited to try something new.

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Planning Ahead

You can make up for what you’re financially lacking, if you’re willing to put some thought into your dating plans. If you’re looking to get out of the house, start combing the internet for ideas. You’d be surprised at how many discounted and free events there are out there. If you live near a major city, publications like Time Out (either on the web or in magazine form) can be a great reference point. If you don’t, there are plenty of other similar publications and websites out there that can help. Your local newspaper probably has a nightlife or upcoming events section.

You can also go straight to the source. Try searching the internet for nearby places of interest to see if they have any discounts or special events listed on their websites. Taking your partner to half price night at your local museum or zoo for a first date is a lot more interesting than dinner and a movie. If you and your significant other are sports fans, look to see if there’s a minor league team near you. Tickets are often much more affordable, and you can enjoy discovering a new team together.

Search bars and venues for free or cheap music performances by local acts. You can still enjoy the feel of catching live music without paying the big bucks for tickets to a major artist’s concert. Some bars and restaurants also host free tasting nights or have special brunch, lunch or dinner deals well worth investigating. Sign up for email newsletters from all of these places, and you’ll always be in the loop on their discounts and freebies.

Head Outdoors

Heading out into the great outdoors can be another low or no cost alternative to traditional date ideas. Go for a walk in your local park or take a picnic there. Better yet, find a nearby place for a hike and make a day of it. You’ll get to enjoy nature, each other’s company, and a little exercise. If you and your date are sporty types, meet up for a game of one-on-one basketball when it’s warm out or go ice skating when it’s cold (save even more if you both own your own skates).

If you’re a pair of do-gooders, try volunteering together. A lot of parks and/or beaches need people to help with seasonal gardening and clean up. If you’re not outdoorsy, try volunteering for another cause you both believe in. Animal lovers can spend an afternoon helping out at a shelter or pet adoption fair. If you’re both bookworms, consider volunteering to read stories to kids at your local library or hospital. Doing good while flirting and chatting with your partner will let your sweetie see you in a whole new light while putting you both in a great mood.

A Date Doesn’t Have To Be Expensive To Be Fun

As you can see, there are so many options out there for fun but affordable dates. A little research can save you big bucks and win you lots of points with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Plus, if all else fails, you can always fall back on an old dating standby—dinner at your place, cooked with love by you.

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• You act like strangers around each other.
• You become too lazy to have sex with your partner.
• Everything your partner does seems irritating.
• When you make love, your partner does the same thing, whether or not you are enjoying it.

While situations vary among couples, there are some similarities. The relationship is becoming monotonous and the spark is dying. Before your connection with your partner gets damaged any further, try the following.

Celebrate “His” Day

Once a month, you can designate a day when he can become king for 24 hours. Do it in “his-and-hers” fashion to be fair. On his special day, he can have an erotic massage, be served breakfast in bed and be the passive partner during sex. The same should apply when it’s your turn. You may want to wait until his birthday comes around before you do something special. With this gesture, you can make sure that you remind your partner that you’re a couple every once in a while.

Celebrate Your Anniversary – By The Month

This may seem corny (and often, expensive), but reminding each other how long you have been together may help you both understand that you’re in it for the long haul. Also, remembering that times when you were still dating may help improve your romance and how you treat each other. Bake a cake or bring home something special during that day. Make sure it’s something you don’t usually do. If he’s into pasta, make a full-course dinner with pasta as the main dish. If he’s into grilling, you can prepare a week in advance and plan a grill-fest on your month anniversary.

Kinky Thoughts

When you’re just lazing about on a weekend night and relaxing together, you can talk to him about your sex fantasies. Tell him what turns you on, and if he doesn’t take the hint, load the video that got you turned on so he can see for himself.

A perverted train of thought is usually associated with males, which makes it a surprising novelty when the woman starts showing signs of being kinky. But remember to act on your fantasies as soon as you mention them. Talking is the way to begin a kinky night of fantasizing with your partner. But you have to act on one of your fantasies that night, or the gesture is wasted. Simply saying “let’s try it” will get him going.

Encourage Him To Talk Dirty

Sometimes, men are hesitant to talk dirty during sex for fear of offending the woman. This hesitation is present whether or not you’re married. What you can do is to encourage him to talk sexy to you, just to push him in the right direction. After that, you can reciprocate and talk in the same manner to let him know you’re ok with dirty talk.

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Find Out If She Actually Likes You

Many guys make this fatal dating mistake – instead of paying attention to which girls seem to like them “that way,” they simply make a move on whoever they think is the cutest or looks like they might go home with them that night. This is not the best way get a “yes” for that first date!

Instead, look for the girls that appear interested in you romantically. (These are the girls you should be dating…)

• Does she smile at you a lot?
• Laugh at your jokes, even when they’re not funny?
• Touch you a lot on the arm or leg while you’re talking?
• Brush up against you
• Look at you but then look away quickly if she’s caught?
• Make excuses to be around you?

Pay  A Compliment

Women love compliments. They’re a great way to break the ice and get her intrigued. However, lame compliments aren’t really going to get you anywhere. If a girl is really good looking, she’s going to hear from every guy about how pretty she is or how good she looks in whatever she’s wearing. She’ll even get those corny pick-up lines that nobody supposedly uses anymore. So if you really want her attention, you’ll need to come up with something creative and different.

A creative compliment is a key component of getting that first date and one of the best dating tips you’ll here anywhere, so take head. Compliment her on something smart that she said or did, or find another way to compliment her intelligence. You can also compliment  something she’s passionate about – such as animal rights – and let her know that you think it’s really cool. Just be real instead of throwing a cheap compliments.

Get To Know A Little About Her

A lot of guys critical dating strategy. If they’re not sure how to take that first step, they’ll start talking about themselves – their job, their friends, their hobbies, etc. She doesn’t want to sit there and listen to you talk only about yourself! You’ll get much farther  if you talk about her and get to know a little bit about her. Find out what music she’s interested in or if she has a pet cat or dog. Find out what her hobbies are, if she enjoys watching new movies or if she’s very athletic and likes to participate in sports. This will not only help you get to know her and make her feel like you’re really interested and value what she has to say, it will also give you date ideas for the first date. If she has a dog, offer to go to the new dog park or if she enjoys sports, go hiking or bike riding. Tailoring your dating invitation to what she enjoys and likes to do is more likely to win you a “yes” than a “no.”

Offer A Casual Invitation

Some dating tips are complete bunk and others actually have some value to them. This unique dating tip has been proven to work time and again, so give it a try! Offer her a casual invitation to the movies, dinner, the dog park or wherever you want go. Arrange beforehand to get an “unexpected call” or having to go somewhere where you won’t be able to get calls or texts for awhile. Let her know that you really want to take her out, but you’ll have to get her number and call her back to arrange a time and place. This will allow her some time to think over the invitation without feeling like she’s been put on the spot.

Be A Gentleman If She Turns You Down

If she turns you down for a first date, don’t be annoying by asking again and again. That’s one trap far too many guys fall into – if she says no, she means no!  Give her your number and let her know that if things change in the future to give you a call. You may end up with a really great friend in the process – and it may turn into something more later!

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Cons Of Relationship With A Large Age Difference

Many of the problems that arise in a partnership with large age differences are direct results of the aforementioned societal stereotypes. Family members, friends and colleagues may have no problem telling you that they disapprove of your relationship. If you’re an older woman with a younger man, many people may openly criticize you on the assumption that you’re only in it for sex. Your partner could easily find himself labeled your boy-toy. If you’re a younger woman with an older man, your peers and parents may feel that he’s taking advantage of your youthful naïveté. Of course, they’ll also think he’s a totally lecherous hound who will inevitably dump you for a younger woman. Sometimes these stereotypes turn out to be true, but whether they apply or not, all the negative talk can take an emotional toll on your relationship.

Other Things To Consider

There are weightier problems to consider, too. As the younger half of the relationship, are you prepared for the strong possibility that you will outlive your partner by many years? Do you want to have children of your own, but your older partner is done with their child-rearing years? Is it incredibly awkward for either of you when you’re among your mate’s same-aged friends? Should any of these be a deal breaker, it’s best that you’re honest with your partner about your feelings. You may find that ending the relationship now saves you both from more pain in the future.

Benefits Of A Relationship With A Large Age Difference

However, there are also many benefits to being in a relationship marked by age differences. If you can get past the issues above, you could reap a lot of joy. Some people are truly old souls or young at heart, so they’re better off with an older or younger partner than someone closer to their age. As the younger half of the duo, you can learn much from the wisdom and experience of your older love. If you’re the older member of the relationship, having someone younger in your life could help keep you more active and youthful. Sometimes your biggest differences can keep your relationship that much more interesting.

In the end, no matter how large the age gap, what really matters is that you love each other. If you’re having a good time and things feel right between you, you’ll be able to weather the stereotyping and conquer your problems. After all, age is just a number.

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5. Best Dating Tips Of 2010

Let’s face it – guys aren’t always so quick on the uptake when it comes to realizing that a girl likes them. If you wait around for a man to make the first move, you may be waiting quite awhile for that first date. So don’t be afraid to take the initiative, make the first move and ask him for a date.

Tip #1 – Suggest A Group Date

One of the best dating tips I can give you is to invite him out on a group date. Some guys don’t like the pressure of a one on one dating situation, and that may be why he hasn’t made the first move yet. He may be thinking he has to take you out to a movie or dinner for that first date, and he may not be ready to deal with that level of dating intimacy yet.

Group date ideas can take some of the pressure off him. Suggest a group date with you, him and some other mutual friends to do something fun like laser tag or paintball. He’ll be more inclined to accept the offer if it seems more like just a bunch of friends hanging out rather than an actual first date, but you’ll still get to spend time together, enjoy some sexy flirting,  and see if there is any chemistry between the two of you.

Tip #2 – Hint At Something You Want To Do

Another great dating tip is to learn how to give him hints and gentle nudges in the direction you would like him to go.

Sometimes guys lock up and won’t ask a girl out because they’re just not sure what to suggest doing on the first date. He doesn’t know what you like or don’t like, and for all he knows, he may be inviting a vegetarian out to dinner at the best steakhouse in town. So if he’s been eyeing you all evening and hasn’t made a move yet, he may be afraid of refection if he suggests an idea that you wouldn’t like or would think is lame.

Instead of waiting for him to make the first move (because you may be waiting a long time), provide him with some date ideas by letting him know you’ve really been wanting to see a particular movie or love ice skating. This will open door for him to let you know he’d love to take you – and he won’t have to be so nervous about going somewhere with you that he’s afraid you’ll hate or getting turned down from the start because you thought his date idea was lame.

Tip #3 – Buy Him A Beer

You’ve made googly eyes at him across the bar and he hasn’t made a move yet. Maybe he’s nervous about approaching women, so instead he just doesn’t do anything. A lot of guys are so afraid of rejection that they would rather stay single than take the risk.

Here’s a great dating tip to ease his fear of rejection. Break the ice by having the bartender serve him up one of what he’s drinking – and make sure that the bartender lets him know it’s from the cute girl “over there.” This will definitely let him know that you’re interested. He’ll of course have to get up and say thank you, giving you the opportunity to chat him up and get that first date with him.

Tip #4 – Text Him

The dating world has changed with texting, chatting, and video. Maybe you’re the one whose afraid of rejection… If that’s the case here’s a dating tip for just you to help ease your fears.

If you have his number, text him an invitation to a group outing or other fun date idea. Texting is totally non-threatening and will give him time to think about the date before giving you his answer. He may be more likely to accept because he’s  not put on the spot like he would be with a direct invitation in person or on the phone.

Sometimes guys lock up when they’ve been put on the spot, and you may get a rejection simply because he’s too scared to say yes – not because he’s not into you. Sending him a text will once again take the pressure off him, and he’ll be more likely to accept your dating invitation because he’s had some time to mull it over.

Tip #5 – Let Him Help You With Something

Almost all guys love helping a “damsel in distress.” It’s hard wired into their genetic code. Take advantage of this by getting his help with something. If you’re a strong, independent woman, it may ruffle your feathers a bit to want help from a man.

Think about it in the perspective of “letting” him to help you with something,  such as the funny noise your car is making or the leaky pipes under your sink. Not only will he enjoy helping you, you’ll also get to spend time with each other and practice flirting with each other to see if there’s any chemistry there – without the official “first date” stamp on it.

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Are You Leading People On?

How, then, can you tell if you lead people on? Think back over the years of your dating life and ask yourself how many times the guys or girls you were (at most) platonically interested in made a play for you. If it’s only happened once or twice, then you’re probably not to blame. Most likely the one or two people who mistakenly thought you liked them back were just blinded by their own hopefulness. If it’s happened on multiple occasions, then you probably are leading on unsuspecting people. However unintentional, you need to get a handle on what you’ve been doing to confuse these folks. It can make the difference between losing a good friend over a misunderstanding or not.

Flirting typically involves a lot of the same things that being friendly or outgoing do—talking animatedly, laughing loudly when the person you’re speaking with makes jokes, leaning in close when you talk, etc. If you’re a generally amicable person, try paying attention to your actions the next time you talk to someone you only want to befriend. If you’re touching them a lot when you talk—patting them on the back, playfully hitting them in the arm when they say something funny—that contact can be misinterpreted as flirting. There’s no reason not to act like yourself, but you may want to tone down some of these actions. Try to limit the physical contact you make with people you’re not interested in dating. While a handshake or hug is fine for when you first see them, it is best not to linger during either action.

Sending Other Mixed Signals

There are other dating mistakes that can lead people on, as well. If you spend too much one-on-one time together, most especially if it’s all initiated by you, that definitely sends mixed signals. This doesn’t mean you have to stop hanging out with your friend, but you should try to mix things up and hang with a bigger group more often. If you currently have a significant other or crush, regularly complaining to your friend about them can cause confusion. Your pal may suspect that, since things are awry, he or she has found the perfect moment to swoop in on you. Either talk up your current partner or love interest, or limit talking about them for the most part. If your friend thinks you’re happily taken or satisfied with being single, they probably won’t go after you.

All in all, if you review your dating habits, you’ll probably get to the root of the problem, whether you’re too much of a flirt or are spending way too much time with your friend. Just remember that you wouldn’t want anyone to lead you on romantically. That should be all the incentive you need to keep things honest and straightforward with any potentially confused friends and acquaintances.

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Question: My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year now. I thought we were both committed to a long term relationship but lately she has been saying things that make me think otherwise. What is the best way to approach this topic and to find out where she expects our relationship to be heading?

–YouTube Viewer

The Importance Of Communicating With Your Partner

Communication with your partner during the dating stage is essential to learning where your relationship is and where it’s going. Some people are able to “let it ride” and simply play it by ear, letting it go wherever it goes, but many others are not and need to be in the know about what is happening between them and their partners. It’s easy for two people to miscommunicate and give each other weird signals, simply because men and women have totally different ways of communicating. If your partner is giving you a weird vibe about where the relationship is going – for example, you thought she was in it for the long haul but she is starting to act more like you two are simply dating and having fun – don’t be quick to judge just based on the feelings you’re getting from her. You may be assuming the wrong thing. Instead, recognize the importance of communicating with your partner and plan a time to sit down with them and talk about what is going on in the partnership and where each of you see it going.

How To Approach The Topic The Right Way

While sitting down with your partner and talking to them about the relationship sounds absolutely frightening, it doesn’t have to be if you learn to approach the topic the right way. First of all, never say, “We have to talk.” This will shut them down faster than you ever would have imagined! Instead, bring up the topic casually while having dinner or sitting on the couch watching television or a movie. Let her know that you really enjoy spending time with her, but that you’ve been getting a weird vibe from her about the where you two stand together. Ask her if it’s true and if she’s been meaning to give those vibes, or if it’s simply a misunderstanding. You can also ask her if she sees you and her heading into long term relationship territory, but just make sure you’re not being critical at all. Ask questions, but you absolutely don’t want to place blame on your partner for anything or criticize anything they’ve said or done. Criticism isn’t necessary and the negativity will only cause you and your partner to start arguing and fighting. You especially want to avoid giving them an ultimatum – that is the fastest way to end a new relationship.

When You And Your Partner Don’t Agree

If you and your partner don’t agree on where your partnership stands and where it’s headed, it’s time to make a decision. For example, say she isn’t interested in commitment and simply wants to continue dating and having fun and you would rather see what you two have actually go somewhere. You can choose to continue dating her and enjoy spending time with her, waiting to see if she comes around and wants to take what you two have to the next level. If you choose to head down this road though, you have to understand that she may never want to take it to the next level and may even dump you if something she’s more interested in comes along. This may or may not be a risk you are willing to take. The other option you have is to break up with her and end the relationship so you can start looking for someone who isn’t afraid of commitment. Either way, when you and your partner don’t agree on where the relationship is headed, it can hurt. Decisons that you make from here on out won’t be easy, but remember what your goals are and what you’re really looking for in life and in a partnership.

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Question:  Hey, I recently met this girl and we were getting pretty close but then she started talking about her ex-boyfriend who she broke up with because he moved away. She said she’s still in love with him and now I realized that I might just be filling the “gap” that he left behind. Is this kind of rebound relationship going to end badly if I pursue it?

–YouTube Viewer

Why Some Rebound Relationships Don’t Work

Some people go into a rebound relationship with the attitude of simply engaging in casual dating or sex. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, especially if both parties understand that it is more of a casual hookup. However, if one person is going into it thinking that it is going to be the start of something really special, they can get let down pretty hard when they find out the person they are really into isn’t really into them. There are some ways to tell if the rebound relationship will work out or not before you become completely invested in it, so take some time to think the situation through before you really commit to it. If they’re the ones that have done the breaking up with their past partner, they may be ready to move on and start a new commitment with you. However, if they’re the ones that were broken up with, they may still be hung up on the “one that got away.”

Is She Trying To Keep In Contact With Him?

If she says she’s still in love with her ex-boyfriend, she may still be keeping in contact with him through phone, email or chat. This can be a huge indicator of whether or not your relationship with her will work out or not, because if she’s still communicating with him, she’s still hung up on him – and keeping in touch with him will not allow her to fully move on from him and committing herself to what she has with you. Talk to her and let her know that you enjoy spending time with her and want to pursue what you have with her, but you can’t do that while she is still talking to her ex. Let her know that continuing to talk to him is just going to hurt her, because she won’t be able to move on from him and it will keep her from finding happiness elsewhere. Let her know that it makes you uncomfortable and that you’d like her to stop talking to him so you and her can focus on your relationship together. Be wary though – she may insist that it is harmless and she’s going to do it anyway. She may even do it behind your back. Decide beforehand whether this is a deal breaker or not. If she refuses to stop talking to her ex, are you willing to walk away?

Time Will Make A Difference

If you haven’t been in the rebound relationship with her for very long, all she may need is time. It takes time to get over an ex, especially if he’s the one that initiated the break up. If the break up is fresh and you’re really into this girl, take a step back and allow her some time to collect herself and get over him. She may be worth the wait, and the wait probably won’t be very long if she’s already agreed that continuing to keep in touch with him is simply keeping her from moving on. However, if you and her have been dating for awhile now, and she’s still not able to move on from what she had with him, it may be a sign that she’s not going to get over him for a long time. If this is the case, you may want to consider moving on yourself and looking for someone who respects you enough to be  with you and you only mentally and emotionally.

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Always Trust Your Dating Instincts

Your dating instincts are the most powerful tool at your disposal for spotting a bad online dating profile or to tell if someone is lying to you. You definitely don’t want to underestimate your gut feelings and do something that the little voice in the back of your head is telling you not to do. If your gut is telling you that there’s something fishy going on, don’t ignore it!

Online dating can be especially challenging because your brain fills in the things you don’t know – with how you want the other person to be. You may be tempted to ignore the alarm bells that are going off because he or she is saying everything right, but if you sense that something isn’t right, it probably isn’t. They be really sweet, caring and seem perfect, but if your instinct is telling you to run, do it. There are other sweet, awesome people that you will meet online that won’t make you feel weird.

Keep An Eye Out For Lies

When dating online, keep an eye out for inconsistencies in their stories. Liars will almost always get tripped up in their lies, especially if they lie often. It’s often hard to keep lies straight, so the man or woman you’re dating may say one thing one time and say something completely different another time without even knowing it. If he says he hates football when you first talk to him and later he says he has to get to a game (or watch a game), that’s probably just the surface of the lies he’s telling you.

Keep an eye out for conflicting information about looks, hobbies, habits, friends, etc. Also, don’t be afraid to call them out on something that you’re not sure about – remember, you don’t them anything. You barely know them! If you come across an inconsistency in something they’ve said or done, speak up. Ask them about it. If they get flustered and can’t provide a good answer for you as to why they said one thing and did another (or whatever the situation may be), then you’ve probably caught them in a lie.

If It Sounds Too Good To Be True, It Usually Is

It’s hard to keep your ground when you’re being swept off your feet, but if the relationship seems too good to be true, it often is. It’s important to try to keep a level head when dating online or over a chat line, because if it seems like you’ve suddenly met Mr. or Mrs. Right and everything in your life is falling into place, you’re probably falling too hard for something that is definitely too good to be true.

A total fraud will try their absolute best to woo you, and if you’ve been looking for love for quite some time, it can be hard to resist someone who is doing and saying all of the right things. It’s important to stay vigilant when dating though, because something that seems perfect probably isn’t. A fake is probably working very hard to get you into their good graces so they can achieve whatever their goal is – whether that’s simply yanking people around or luring them into a trap that could cause you to end up in some very dangerous situations.

Try your best to keep your cool when you’re chatting online and don’t get too wrapped up in sweet phrases or gestures. Accept the niceties gracefully, but always keep your “weirdness radar” on so you can spot red flags right away. If the guy or girl you’re dating online seems totally perfect for you, take it with a grain of salt until they prove they are the real deal. Consider taking it offline, but make sure you take some safety precautions first such as meeting in public the first several times and letting a friend know where you’re going, who you’re going to be with and when you’ll be back. Once your date proves their motives are pure, you can relax (a little!)

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Question: How do I know if a guy really loves and respects me, or if he is just into sex and making out?

–YouTube Viewer

All Guys Are Into Sex And Making Out – Don’t Hold It Against Him

If you think he’s only in the relationship for sex just because he wants to have sex or make out all the time, you could be very, very wrong. Most – if not all – guys are very into sex and making out and it’s constantly on their minds. He may really enjoy being in a relationship with you and may care a lot about you, but he may not be able to control his mind when it comes to thinking about you naked. Don’t hold it against him just because he loves sex, oral sex, kissing, making out and anything with you that involves getting to feel you up. Many girls think that if they want to find out if their guy only cares about the sex, they can withhold sex and see if he still enjoys hanging out with her. This is totally unfair to him! Don’t punish him – instead, there are some questions you can ask yourself that will give you a better handle on the situation without hurting your guy unnecessarily.

How To Tell If He’s Only In It For The Sex

If you’re really beginning to think that he only wants to be with you because he likes having sex with you, here are a few questions to ask yourself:

• Do you engage in other activities with him?
• How does he treat you outside the bedroom?
• How does he treat you in front of friends and family?
• Do you hang out together with his friends and your friends?
• Is he truly interested in what you have to say or what is going on in your life?
• Do you communicate outside the bedroom?
• Does he call you late at night, only for booty calls?
• Does he come by only for sex?

If he does ok on most of these questions, then he probably enjoys both being in a relationship with you or dating you and having sex with you. Guys that only want sex will tend not to hide it very well at all – men are definitely not masters of hiding their motives by nature. If that’s his game, he’ll basically meet up with you only for sex. He won’t try to fake it by alternating a nice date with a booty call – he’ll go straight for the booty call at 2 a.m. after he’s been partying with his friends all night. He won’t want to hang out with you in front of his friends, or hang out with yours at all. He won’t call or text you just to “chat.” He’ll almost always, if not every time, suggest sex right away. If you’re not up for hitting the sheets, he’ll make up an excuse later as to why he can’t hang out. No, Grandma really isn’t sick – he just found something better to do because you didn’t want to “do it.” If he spends time with you outside of the bedroom, hangs out with your friends and his (with you) and sometimes calls you just to say “hey,” he is probably not only in it for the sex – he’s just an ordinary guy who loves it and loves it with you!

What To Do If He Only Cares About Sex

If your guy fits the bill of someone who wants sex and only sex, stop and think about where you’re willing to go with this. Is the sex great and would you otherwise be single without any sex? Why not keep him as a booty call while you continue to date and look for the real deal? If you’re not into that, consider breaking it off with him. You don’t have to waste your time with someone who wants only sex unless that’s what you want too.

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Flirting Tip #1 – Make Eye Contact

Eye contact is a very important flirting tool that definitely shouldn’t be overlooked. In fact, eye contact really is the cornerstone of good flirting techniques. You can use eye contact in a crowded room to let someone know you’re interested in them, or you can use eye contact when someone is speaking to let them know you’re truly interested in what they have to say. When making eye contact across a room to let a girl or guy know that you’re into them, simply gaze across the room at them and once you make eye contact with them, hold it for a few seconds longer than you’re comfortable with. Just don’t stare at them in a creepy way – you’ll eventually need to break the eye contact and move across the room to introduce yourself.

Flirting Tip #2 – A Genuine Smile

There’s nothing more sexy than a genuine smile! Smiling is a great way to let someone know you’re interested in them, whether it’s from across the room or while you’re having a conversation with them. Don’t fake it either – a fake smile is easy to spot a mile away. Fake smiling, or smiling too much may make you seem a little strange. Smile genuinely and they’ll know you’re having a great time. Smiling also goes well with eye contact when making the effort to flirt. People are naturally attracted to someone who will look them in the eyes and give them a great, heart warming smile. Don’t pretend to be too cool to smile, because it definitely won’t score you any phone numbers to take home.

Flirting Tip #3 – Mirroring

Pay attention to their body language and make sure you are mirroring what they’re doing without mimicking it move for move. Completely mimicking their actions will definitely make you look creepy and it won’t be long before you’re sitting at the bar by yourself because her friend had some kind of crisis. For example, if she touches your leg lightly, place your hand over hers. If she leans towards you while talking to you, lean in towards her slightly too. Body language is incredibly powerful and if you put off the wrong body language vibes, she may think that you’re not into her even if you are.

Flirting Tip#4 – Use Lingering Touches

It’s perfectly normal for people to touch each other during casual conversation. For example, a light touch on the shoulder when laughing at a joke they said or brushing against them to get by them are all perfectly normal parts of a casual conversation. However, if you’re flirting with a girl and want her to know that you’re really interested in her, use lingering touches. A lingering touch is a touch that lasts just a few seconds longer than it normally would, but not too long – you want to be sexy not creepy. Without lingering touches, she may assume you’re just “one of the girl friends” and you’ll end up getting stuck in the friend zone. It’s okay to let him or her know that you care with a light but lingering touch.

Flirting Tip #5 – Lick Your Lips

Draw attention to your sexy, sensuous lips by licking them subtly, biting the corner of your lip or touching your lips. This signals to the other person that you definitely want in on some kissing action. Don’t draw too much attention to your mouth by doing this constantly – that will just make you look weird – but sly lip licking or nibbling here and there will have a powerful impact on the person you’re interested in. You’ll also want to pay attention to whether they’re licking their lips or touching them, because this is a signal to you that they want to kiss as well. If they’re giving off the signals of wanting to be kissed, lean over and whisper something in their ear. Linger there for just a second. Chances are, they’ll turn their head slightly towards you for the “accidentally on purpose” kiss.

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Here’s how to avoid being the “creepy guy” and instead, how to be the memorable guy she gives her number to or calls you the next day if you gave her your number.

Dating Tip #1 – She’ll Remember How You Made Her Feel

When you meet a girl, she usually won’t remember what you looked like or what you said. She won’t remember what the two of you talked about and she won’t remember what songs were playing or even what drinks you ordered her. What she will remember, however, is how you made her feel when you were flirting with her. Did you make her feel good about herself? Did you make her feel like she was the only girl in the room and that you had eyes only for her? Of course, if you overwhelm her with unwanted attention, she’ll remember that too, but then you’ll be the creepy guy. Make her feel fabulous about herself and she’ll definitely remember you.

Dating Tip #2 - Truly Listen To What She’s Saying

All women want to be heard and want someone to listen to what they have to say. To get her to remember you, you have to be that person. When talking with a woman and listening to her, don’t just nod your head and say, “uh huh…uh huh.” She’ll catch on to that real quick and probably kick you to the curb. Instead, actively listen to her by being engaged in the conversation and not allowing any moments of awkward silence. Avoid talking about sports (since very few women enjoy talking about sports at all) and avoid talking about your job or hers. She probably doesn’t care about what happened to you at work today, and she most likely doesn’t want to talk shop when she’s not working. Talk about travel, “what-would-you-do-if” scenarios or favorite foods or hobbies. Make eye contact, but don’t stare.

Dating Tip #3 - Leave On A Good Note

Many men make the fatal dating mistake of waiting until the conversation has run out of steam before making their exit. Even if the conversation was going great at first and you and her were hitting it off really well, if you wait until you hit the conversation dead zone to leave and try to get her number, she’s not going to remember the beginning of the conversation. What she will remember is the awkward silence and then the request for her number – and she probably won’t give it out at that point. By making sure you leave the conversation on a good note, you’ll make her curious for more. Have an out pre-planned, such as getting home to walk the dog, etc. so you can have a good reason to leave before things get awkward.

Dating Tip #4 - Make Her Smile And Laugh

The best flirting move ever is to simply make her smile. Making her smile and laugh is the best thing you can do to make sure she remembers you when she goes home that night. Don’t tell lame jokes – instead, point out the humor that is present in every day life. Tell her something funny that happened to you the other day, or the hilarious thing your roommate did last night. Make sure your funny stories aren’t vulgar or involve painting you – or any other guy really – in a bad light. Seriously, this is not the time for frat boy jokes about how you got so drunk that your friends drew a penis on your face with a Sharpie. Make sure that when you’re flirting with her and telling funny stories to get her to laugh and smile that you’re also allowing her a chance to tell you funny stories that would make you laugh or smile as well.

Dating Tip #5 - Be Yourself

Above all, when you’re dating, it’s so important to be yourself and allow your true self to come through. Some people don’t have chemistry with each other and that’s okay. If you’re not clicking with her, make your exit and move on to someone else, allowing her to do the same. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not to get her attention, get her number or to get her to remember you. If you’re not being yourself and she remembers you the next day or when you call her, it’s not really you she’s remembering is it? It’s a facade. Just be yourself!

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Why Most Guys Have A Hard Time Talking To Women

For some guys, approaching women is difficult because of “inner game” issues. They lack confidence and paralyze themselves with limiting beliefs. When they see an extremely attractive woman, their brain comes up with reasons NOT to approach her.

Usually these “reasons” are along the lines of, “I’m just not handsome/tall/rich enough to get a girl like HER interested in me…she’s out of my league.”

But for other guys (and I myself used to fall under this category), the anxiety stems from not knowing WHAT TO TALK ABOUT with her.

If you have no conversational “game plan” — no idea what to say after you walk up and say hello — well, approaching and talking to women becomes a nerve-wracking proposition indeed.

The Mistake I Used To Make When Talking To Women

I used to be guilty of this myself when talking to women. I remember many situations where I’d approach a girl and introduce myself (usually this was at a bar, after I’d had a few drinks to loosen up), and things would go okay for a few minutes…we’d be chatting about something we had in common, or someone we both knew, and it seemed like she might be sort of into me, but then the conversation would start to run out of steam. I found myself struggling to figure out what to say next, or trying to think of some clever question to ask her. ANYTHING to fill the awkward silence.

And while I stood there racking my brain for something to say, I could feel her energy level fading. She’d look at her wristwatch, start glancing around the bar, looking for a way out. Then I’d get a polite blow-off (“It was great to meet you, but I have to find my friends…”), and that girl would walk out of my life forever.

After years of hanging out with the world’s best pickup artists and studying their tactics, I was able to come up with a technique that virtually guarantees you will never run out of conversational material.

Use This Powerful Tactic When Talking To Women

This technique is called “hooks and ladders.” Let me explain how this works, and how you can start using it in your conversations from now on.

A “hook” is anything a girl mentions that you can turn into a topic of conversation—right now, or later on.

A “ladder” is an opportunity in the conversation for you to plant a positive seed in her mind, and boost her opinion of you.

So the idea is, whenever you’re talking to women you want to look out for hooks that you can turn into ladders.

Before I give you an example, I want you to think of three topics that you’d WANT to talk to a beautiful woman about — topics that demonstrate your positive qualities, such as your talents, interests, ambitions, passions, or positive life experiences. You know that if the conversation gets onto one of these subjects, you’ll be well-equipped to talk about some cool stuff.

Three of mine are: travel, music, and writing. I know a lot about these areas, and by talking about them, I can plant seeds about my own positive qualities.

(I’m also into things like video games, horror movies, and watching Ultimate Fighting, but these aren’t topics that women are going to find particularly interesting!)

I’ll use travel as my example. I’ve been to a lot of cool places, and there are a lot of cities and countries I plan on visiting in the future.

So, I won’t ask her a standard question like “Do you like to travel?”

Instead, I’ll put a spin on it and say something like, “Lisa, you seem like someone who leads an interesting lifestyle, and I bet you’ve done some traveling. So let me ask you — if we could teleport right now to any city or country, anywhere in the world, where would you want to go?”

She answers, “Jamaica. I went there for spring break during my senior year of college and we had so much fun. The beaches were amazing and we went out to the clubs every night.”

To this, the average guy (with no game) would nod his head and say, “Wow, that’s awesome. Sounds like you had a great time.” And the conversation hits a dead end.

But because I’m listening for “hooks” when I’m talking to women, that answer just gave me a bunch of different topics that I can now talk about. Lisa has provided me with multiple “hooks” (conversational topics) that I can turn into “ladders” (ways to make me look good).

Hook #1: She went to Jamaica. When I think about Jamaica, I think of the singer Bob Marley. Everyone loves Bob Marley. I say, “I can totally picture you and me chilling on the beach in Jamaica, drinking some Red Stripe beers, listening to some Bob Marley. You must be into reggae music…” (And now we’re talking about our favorite types of music, which is a topic I like to move towards because it’s something I’m passionate and knowledgeable about).

Hook #2: She went with her friends to another country to party and have a new experience. This means she’s got a fun, adventurous side. Very cool. I can tell her about the summer I spent traveling around Asia, having all kinds of amazing experiences. I use this as a “ladder”: I tell her how important I think it is to see the world and be open to new experiences. I frame myself as the type of spontaneous, adventurous, worldly guy who can give HER exciting new experiences.

Hook #3: She went to college. I can find out where she went to school and what she studied, and then tell her a little bit about my own college experience. Was she a bookworm, or a party girl? Did her sorority have some type of crazy initiation ritual? Did her college major lead her to a career she is passionate about, or is she aiming to do something else in the future?

Other Hooks she offered within her answer: she likes nightclubs, and she loves the beach. I can talk about these topics, too, and use them to plant positive seeds.

“So you mentioned earlier how the clubs in Jamaica were awesome. Well I’m always checking out new places, and I found this bar — not too far from here — that I know you would absolutely love. But it’s a little wild – if you promise to behave yourself I might bring you there sometime.”

If I want to use the “beaches” hook, I’ve got a story ready to go: “So you love the beach? Me too. I was in Mexico recently visiting a buddy of mine – it’s a funny story, he was making tons of money working in the financial industry and one day he decided to quit his job and move down to Mexico for a year and surf every day. My friends thought he was crazy, but I think it’s awesome that he followed his passion.”

(So now we talk about the importance of following your passions, doing what you love, etc. A definite ladder.)

You get the idea. Whenever you’re talking to a girl, she’s sharing a ton of information with you “beneath the surface” that you can USE to move the conversation in new, interesting directions — and at the same time, plant seeds in her mind about your own positive qualities.

Pay attention and watch for the hooks. She’ll supply them every time she tells you something about herself. By using them and controlling the flow of the conversation, she won’t pause to think “well this guy is kinda fun to talk to, but he’s not really my type so I should go find my friends…”

Instead, she’ll be swept up in your enthusiasm and energy and go with your flow. But you don’t want to keep talking endlessly. When the time is right, you’ll need to “close” her. This could mean getting her phone number, or taking her home with you tonight.

The BEST way to successfully close a girl is to lay the right groundwork. This requires you to stay in control of the conversation and keep it fun, while planting the right seeds. At the same time, when talking to women you want to follow a four-step process that hits certain “emotional buttons” (in the right order) and moves her feelings from curiosity and interest, towards sexual attraction.

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What Are You Trying To Achieve With Her?

So you’ve chatted a super cute girl up at the bar and you’ve gotten her number – score! But now you’re just not quite sure what to do with it. You’re staring at it like it’s an alien that will take over your body if you touch it the wrong way and you can’t help but look at it every five seconds for fear that it will scamper off the counter and be lost forever. Many guys are so freaked out by what to say when they call a girl for the first time after getting her phone number that they don’t end up calling her at all – or they call so many days or weeks later that she barely remembers who he was. Before you call a girl, think about what you’re trying to achieve with her. Are you looking to date her and form a solid, long term relationship? Or are you looking for more of a casual friendship or a hook up? Thinking about what you really want first can help you set the stage for what to say next.

There’s Not A Right Time, But There Is A Wrong Time

The “right time” to call a girl after you score her phone number is pretty much whenever you feel the desire to talk to her or ask her out on a date. So really, there is no “right time.” The idea of waiting a certain number of days before you call her so you don’t seem desperate is an outdated myth that will only serve to make her think you’re not interested in her at all. So don’t worry about the “right” time to call her – instead, worry about the “wrong” time to make your move. Waiting too long to call her after you’ve gotten her number may make her think you’re not interested in her, or worse, she may have forgotten who you were by the time you get around to dialing her number. She won’t remember why she gave you her number and she’ll be more reluctant to set up a date with you if she does at all.

Keep It Simple

When calling a girl you just met, it’s definitely important to keep the conversation simple. Be honest, and let her know you really enjoyed talking with her when you met. Elaborating on how awesome, wonderful, sexy and hot she is will just make you seem creepy and stalker-ish. So keep the conversation short and simply let her know that you had a great time and you’d love to do it again. Be prepared with a date idea, but make sure it’s something casual like going out for a cup of coffee or grabbing a quick lunch together. This is especially true if you had a difficult time getting her number to begin with – suggesting a long, romantic dinner at the fancy restaurant downtown really isn’t going to get you anywhere here.

Texting Can Be Your Best Friend

In the age of technology, it’s important not to overlook texting as a mode of communication. Texts are wonderful ways to connect with a woman after getting her number and it won’t put either you or her on the spot. After meeting her and scoring her phone number, send her a short and sweet text the next day letting her know you enjoyed her company – and leave it at that. Chances are, she’ll text you back and let you know that she had fun too. You can also suggest going out on a date in a text, but again, make sure it’s a simple, short date like coffee or lunch. Don’t blow up her phone with tons of texts though – if you do, you’ll seem just as creepy and weird as if you called her a hundred times. Give her time to think about it and answer your text. Remember that she did give you her number and that means she liked you enough to do so. Play it cool and you’ll definitely score the opportunity to get to know her and let her get to know you.

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Learn This Powerful Method To Attract Women

I want to share with you my “secret tactic” to attract women and get them into bed fast…but first, I want you to imagine the following scenario.

Let’s say you’re talking to a girl and the conversation is flowing. You’ve got some things in common with her, she’s easy to talk to, and everything seems to be going pretty well.

After ten or twenty minutes (or even an hour) of friendly conversation, she tells you she needs to get going…so you take out your phone and get her phone number.

You figure this girl LIKES you. Seeing her again shouldn’t be a problem. But when you text her or call her the next day, you don’t get a response. Or if you do get a response, she can’t remember who you are at first…and when you try to ask her out on a date, she tells you she’s extremely busy this week (and next week, and the week after that…as far as going on a date with you, she’s apparently booked up for the next 40 years).

What’s up with this? How come a girl can seem “into” you during that first conversation, but she treats like you like a telemarketer when call to see her again?

It comes down to one word. You might have made her laugh…she may have found you interesting to talk to….but you failed to make her feel any ATTRACTION.

And in order for a girl to feel that deep, undeniable, gut-level attraction, she needs to feel one thing: SEXUAL TENSION.

The “Secret Weapon” To Attract Women

The words “sexual tension” might sound to you like a bad thing. But it’s not. What it really means is, she’s starting to feel attracted to you…but she’s not sure whether you feel the same way about her.

Sexual tension develops when she starts to WANT you…but she doesn’t know if she can HAVE you.

And women want what they can’t have! They love a guy who is a challenge. This is one of the big reasons why “bad boys,” who are cocky, playful, and obviously have a lot of sexual options, are able to attract women effortlessly. They’re sexually attractive to women on a gut level — even if they are the WORST kinds of guys for them to be in a relationship with!

This is why in order to attract women, you need to “shift gears” at some point during the conversation and start teasing her and framing yourself as a CHALLENGE. You can’t let the conversation stay stuck in “neutral.”

Here’s the basic formula: talk to her for a little while and get to know her, so that she feels comfortable with you, and THEN you start teasing her and acting like you’re “not sure” about her.

You make her feel that she has to EARN a spot on “your team.” And this is where the level of sexual tension goes through the roof!

Here Are Some Cocky, Playful Tactics To Help You Attract Women

Mention how you two could never date.

“You and I definitely have a lot of chemistry, but we could never be boyfriend and girlfriend. We’re way too much alike. We’d be breaking up all the time, and then having wild make-up sex and destroying all of my expensive furniture…it’s probably not a good idea.”

“It’s too bad I swore off dating girls like you…”

“You’re a nice girl—you really shouldn’t be hanging out with a guy like me. I could get you in all kinds of trouble.”

“You’re such a sweet girl…you should probably be talking to a nice boy like the one over there (point to some dorky-looking dude). I’m more like the guy your mom warned you about.”

Accuse her of hitting on you.

If it’s time to get her a drink—or she offers to buy you one—say, “Okay, one drink, but promise you won’t try to take advantage of me.”

Or, “It’s going to take more than a drink to get me into bed. I expect dinner and a movie at least.”

If she touches you, you can say “Hey, hands off the merchandise. That’ll be twenty dollars.”

When she asks you a question, say “You are totally hitting on me right now. That’s one of the questions I ask girls when I’m hitting on them. It’s okay, I just want you to know I expect you to buy me dinner and a movie before anything happens.”

Employ her/fire her.

When she mentions something that she’s good at, or an area where she is experienced, tell her you’re “hiring” her to help you with it. This frames you as the more powerful one in the conversation, and gives you a reason to “fire” her at any time (in a playful way).

“You seem like a smart girl who’s on the ball. I’m hiring you as my personal assistant.”

“So you know about all the nightclubs. I’m hiring you. From now on you’re my personal party planner whenever I have friends come to town.”

You get the idea. You can “hire” her to do anything. You can make her your personal party DJ, fashion stylist, gym trainer, or website designer. The fun part is that when she says something corny or lame, you can “fire” her:

“Oh my God, I can’t believe you just said that. That’s it—you’re fired. Tell the girl over there in the red dress she can submit her resume.”

It’s all in good fun, but you’re sending the message that you’re the one in control and calling the shots. As long as BEFORE the teasing you spent some time getting her to feel comfortable with you, and interested, these types of lines will create sexual tension and make her want to PROVE herself.

Use the point system.

“Okay, I’m going to ask you something but be careful how you answer, because this answer is worth ten points….”

(This is when you can use one of the “Hypotheticals” in my book, Mack Tactics. These are clever, provocative “hypothetical questions” you can pose to her, that will really make her think and cause her to expose deeper aspects of her personality.)

Whatever your question is, if she answers it “correctly” tell her she has earned ten points — and if she gets up to fifty points she wins a bonus (which can be a drink). This now becomes a theme that runs through the conversation. Deduct points for lame answers. Award points for good ones.

You’re building compliance and sending a message: it’s her job to impress you, not the other way around. You’re making her want to earn your approval. When you start “framing” your conversations this way, you’ll find it much easier to attract women on a sexual level instead of being the “nice guy” or the “friend” she has no interest in having sex with.

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You Can’t Take Back What Is In Print

There are two hugely important things to remember about what you post online—everyone you’ve listed as a friend can read or see it, and it’s now officially in print. That means that you can’t take it back as easily as you could if you just said something in person. If you say something embarrassing about your significant other, post a picture that they’d prefer remain private, or something else that could similarly upset them, you can take it down after the fact. However, most people you know have already seen it. That’s an argument waiting to happen, no question. It’s probably best that you check in with your girlfriend or boyfriend before posting anything that directly involves them, and if you even remotely suspect they might be upset by it, just don’t do it. Additionally, remember that certain things you post will be visible to your significant other’s online friends, which could include their family members. The fear of your girlfriend’s mom reading that you think her butt is hot should be reason enough to keep things clean.

Don’t Argue With Your Partner Online

You should also always remember that Facebook and Myspace are not appropriate forums for arguing with your significant other. Not only will you make all of your online friends feel incredibly uncomfortable (no one likes to bear witness to other people’s disagreements), but once things calm down, it will be horribly embarrassing for you and your partner. Now other people know all about the dark side of your relationship. Furthermore, there can be legal implications down the line—some divorce lawyers are actually starting to use comments and posts from social networking sites as fodder in custody battles and settlements. This is a good reminder, yet again, that once things are in print, they can come back to bite you.

Don’t Be Overly Mushy Online

So what if you don’t argue online or post unflattering pictures of your S.O.? What else is there to worry about online? Believe it or not, posting too many positive or mushy remarks can be equally un-cool. If you’re posting on your mate’s wall once a day about how much you love them, you’re opening yourself and your relationship up to judgment from your online friends. Most people aren’t going to see that and just think that you’re the most romantic couple ever. They’re going to wonder if you’re making such a big deal publicly because things aren’t going so hot behind the scenes. Additionally, there’s just an element of the annoying to this behavior. You should be telling your significant other that you love them on a daily basis in person, not online. Someone’s Facebook wall isn’t an inbox, either—if you need to ask your spouse to pick up some milk or want to tell them about your day at work, do it over the phone or in an email. In general, don’t post anything on your girlfriend or boyfriend’s wall that you wouldn’t post on a regular friend’s wall, and you’ll be just fine in love and online.

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Is She Into You?

Let’s start with the ladies. There are many different ways that women can indicate their interest in men. Some of their actions are thought out and intentional, some done entirely on a subconscious level. Imagine you, a guy, are at a friend’s party. You start talking with one of the girls there that you’ve not met before, and she’s flirting with you. She’s laughing at your jokes, asking you a lot of questions about yourself, maybe even making a point to touch your arm or shoulder once or twice during the conversation.

All of these are classic signs that she’s into you. Some women like to play hard to get, though, so if she walks off after several minutes of flirting, don’t automatically assume it’s over. Take note—even when she’s across the room talking to other people, does she glance over at you from time to time? Does she seem less animated when she’s talking with other guys than when she was talking to you? If so, you’re still on her mind—she’s just trying not to look too overly interested for fear you may think she’s desperate.

Some girls may also playfully tease you if they’re interested, so if she jokes about you and then leans in close to laugh, she clearly likes you. If a woman isn’t interested in you, she’ll try to be subtle about it at first. She’s not going to be mean to you, but she’ll probably do her best to keep from being alone with you. That may mean calling over a friend to join the conversation, or walking off the minute she gets a chance. If she’s taken, she’ll also make a point of bringing up her boyfriend or spouse pretty early on in the conversation. If she’s not taken, she may casually mention having feelings for some other guy (or, if he’s near, start flirting with him right in front of you).

Is He Into You?

So what if you’re the girl at the party teasing the fellow—how can you judge whether or not you’ve got him intrigued? Guys aren’t as subtle as girls can be, so that definitely helps out. If a guy is spending a lot of time talking to you, and, more importantly, actually listening to what you have to say, that’s a pretty good sign he finds you attractive. If he’s really turning on the charm (cracking jokes, flashing big grins, leaning in toward you a lot when he’s talking), then he is definitely interested in you.

But maybe the guy you’re conversing with is a tad on the shy side, so he’s not doing too much talking. As you interact with him, do you notice him increasingly coming out of his shell? Maybe at first you’re doing more of the talking, but the minute you hit on a common topic, he perks up and starts talking more in return. Any indication that he’s feeling more at ease with you than other people in the room is a good sign that he likes you. Shy (or just quiet) guys won’t open up for just anybody. Whether a guy is more bold or not, take note of how engaged he truly is in your conversation.

Men can’t hide their boredom as well as women do, and if he’s not interested, he won’t be making a lot of eye contact with you. Instead, he’ll be too busy looking around for an excuse to step away from you. Boys also tend to step up their manners a bit when they first meet a girl they’re attracted to—he’ll try to be on his best behavior to impress you. If he’s belching, making a lot of crude jokes or, worst of all, making crass remarks about other girls in the room, odds are good that he doesn’t think you’re a potential date.

How To Tell When He – Or She – Is NOT Into You

If all goes well in your first encounter, and you exchange phone numbers, know this– a lot of guys really do believe you should wait three to five days before calling a girl you’ve just met. This is a ridiculous but popular “rule,” so ladies, don’t get too offended if it takes a few days for them to reach out. If more than a week passes by though, it’s pretty safe to assume they’re not interested in you.

Men, some women will definitely call you within a day or two of the first date if they’re really interested. However, a lot of other women are still a little old-fashioned when it comes to phone etiquette, and would prefer for the guy to make the first move. So if she doesn’t call you in a few days, just call her. Don’t let it make you think she’s not attracted to you. If she screens your calls and doesn’t pick up, that is, of course, a whole other story.

There is one final telltale sign of attraction that both the guys and the gals can’t help but display. If you’re trying to figure out if he or she has the hots for you, look into his/her eyes. As mentioned in the article “How to Read His Body Language” by Amber Madison on Shine from Yahoo, when you’re attracted to someone, your pupils dilate and become larger than normal. So take a good long look into your potential paramour’s peepers, and you may just find the evidence you’re looking for!

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Mistake #1: Sharing Your Feelings With Him Too Early

Men love their freedom and independence ­- no mysteries there! So when you announce that you love him, it often sets off a trigger that you might be one of those “clingy types.” This will no doubt send him running out the door as quick as he can manage. Play it safe and remember that the early stages of dating should always remain casual.

Only after you get to know each other really well should you pursue anything further. It’s also worth mentioning that you can’t logically convince someone to fall in love with you. Falling in love is a process that happens outside the conscious mind ­and there’s nothing you can do to make it happen, speed it up or make it stop. It will happen when it happens. It may happen for you well before it happens for him or vice versa. It is wise to keep your feelings to yourself until you’ve been dating them for quite some time or they’ve decided to say it first.

Mistake #2: Trying To Push It Too Far Too Soon

It’s natural to wonder about the nature of your relationship. “Does he want more? Or is this just a fling?” But remember, if you start talking about marriage after only 12 months, you could ruin your chances to take things further. And if you don’t live together, cooking dinner or doing his laundry isn’t a good idea.

A nice meal once in a while is okay, but don’t make it a regular thing. Yes, it’s true, many men are scared of commitment; but just because they don’t want it now, doesn’t mean they don’t want to settle down. They just need time. Let your man take the lead when it comes to announcing the state of the relationship or addressing the marriage, moving in or long term relationship issues. If you surprise him with something he’s not ready for, it will definitely freak him out and these things can’t be taken back once you’ve let them out in the open.

Mistake #3: Being Too Available

You might think this is playing a mind game or being manipulative, but putting your best side forward is also manipulative. Why? Because it’s done to get a desirable outcome. This is simply a reminder to be who you were before you met the man and continue to be that person, rather than use trickery.

Remember that your busy, interesting and fun life only has so much time for him, no matter how much you like him. And remember, men love a challenge, so this actually works in your favor. Don’t put aside everything you did before you met him to make room for him in your life. Instead, continue on about your business just as it was before you met him. He can wait a day or two for a dinner date if you have other things to do and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Mistake #4: Not Being Yourself

Men love confident women with a strong sense of self-worth. Unfortunately, women often try to guess how the man wants them to act and try to accommodate his mold, which leaves very little room for your own personality to shine. (And yes, men do this too.) Instead of trying to be what you think he wants you to be, simply be yourself and let him fall in love with you just the way you are.

Mistake #5: Putting Too Much Stock In Outward Appearances

Believe it or not, it’s NOT make-up, dyed hair, pretty clothes or even nice shoes that attract men, not into a successful long-term relationships anyway! While “looks” is the obvious factor that seems to get an instant response from men, long-term success comes with finding a man who admires and respects you regardless of your exterior. If your man only likes you for your looks, then he doesn’t really love you. Look your best, but don’t go out of your way. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t normally do to make yourself look good. Remember, you want him to fall in love with you.

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When you spot a hot girl, you can assume that the last 47 guys who attempted to approach her — whether it was at the bar, the supermarket, or on the street — sent all the wrong signals. They immediately made her feel uncomfortable and caused her “force field” to go on high alert. At that point, she’s going to look for a reason to end the interaction as soon as possible.

She may indulge you with a few minutes of polite conversation and then blow you off gently (“It’s been nice talking to you, but I need to go find my friend…”), or she might shoot you down immediately (“Uh, I’ve got a boyfriend”). Either way, when you approach women the wrong way, it’s very unlikely that the conversation is going to go anywhere.

Don’t Make These Mistakes When You Approach Women

Here are the three deadliest mistakes that guys make when they approach women, and some tips on how to AVOID these traps and get the results you want.

Deadly Approach Mistake #1: Asking permission to talk to her

This means you must eliminate from your vocabulary phrases such as:

“Excuse me, may I know your name?”

“Hi, do you mind if I ask you something?”

“Can I buy you a drink?”

Opening a conversation this way instantly puts you at her mercy. In her eyes, you are a random stranger and you WANT something from her. This is an uncomfortable situation for anyone to be in.

Note: Offering to buy her a drink may sound like you want to GIVE her something, but she knows what you’ll expect in return: you’ll want to monopolize her time for the next ten or twenty minutes. When you offer to buy a drink for a woman you don’t even know, you’re basically attempting to bribe her into granting you some of her time.

Would a truly confident guy approach women this way? Absolutely not. There’s a correct point in the interaction to buy a girl a drink, and a clever way of doing it and it’s certainly not in the first 30 seconds.

One of the rules of effective conversation is for you to stay in control at all times. You maintain the “power position” and dictate the flow of the conversation and the topics that are discussed (and avoided). The key is to do this subtly. You can learn how to “invisibly” guide the conversation so that you make her laugh, experience positive emotions, and share personal details (such as her passions, ambitions and talents) that she’d normally never share with a guy she only met a few minutes ago.

This is when women begin to feel attraction, and you’re on your way to success.

The first key to maintaining this sense of power and control is NOT starting the conversation in a weak, uncertain manner. Asking permission is a surefire way to blow the conversation before it even begins. Don’t do it.

Deadly Approach Mistake #2: You must assume rapport.

When two people have “rapport” it means they’re comfortable with each other and have things in common. They vibe with each other in the manner of old friends — joking around, having fun, talking about topics of common interest instead of the conversation sounding like a job interview.

When a guy with weak approach game starts conversing with a woman, the “conversation” seems stiff and formal and usually consists of questions: “So what’s your name?” “Are you from around here?” “So what do you do for work?” He could be having this same conversation with his dentist!

On the other hand, the guy who is extremely good with women always assumes rapport. He doesn’t bother with the boring “getting to know you” questions. Right from the start, he’s joking around with her, playfully teasing her, asking her questions and telling quick stories that make her smile and stimulate her imagination.

He makes her feel invested in the conversation, and she’ll want to show that she can keep up with him. Even in the first few minutes he’s showing her that he’s a fun, dynamic, interesting guy who leads an attractive lifestyle.

Deadly Approach Mistake #3: Not having a conversational game plan and a closing strategy.

Most guys put way too much emphasis on what to say first (or how to “open” her). Actually, what you follow up with is far more important — how you transition into the conversation and get it flowing.

From there, you’ll want to use techniques of mine such as Hypotheticals, Advanced Cold Reads, and Hooks & Ladders (my method for making sure the conversation NEVER runs out of steam).

After You Approach Women, What Comes Next?

In short, you’ve got to know how to keep guiding the conversation forward so that it follows a sequence of steps that push her different “emotional buttons.” For example, building comfort is a crucial early step. No woman is going to want to give you her phone number (much less sleep with you that night) if you haven’t made her feel comfortable with you. This is why learning the right comfort-building techniques is so important.

Next, once comfort has been established, you’ll want to start challenging her & teasing her (but always in a light, playful way). This is the stage where you frame yourself as a high-value man who is “hard to get.” You’re going to make her work for your attention and positive feedback, and make her want to measure up to YOUR standards. (This is the complete opposite of how most guys interact with women, as they awkwardly try to demonstrate that they’re up to HER standards.)

Then comes the Escalation stage, and finally there is The Close. Depending on the circumstances, this could mean getting her phone number (and having her WANT to see you again soon, rather than ignoring your calls), or taking her home that night. So few guys understand how to “close” successfully.

Learning how to approach women and follow these steps means the difference between chatting with girls every time you go out but never sleeping with them - or seeing them again – and having the “rock star sex life” that most men can only fantasize about, leading a lifestyle filled with fun, beautiful women.

It means that literally anytime you leave your home – whether it’s to run errands, or to hit a bar or nightclub with your friends – you’ll look for opportunities to approach women and have fun interactions, instead of this being something you shy away from, or stress out about.

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Can You Answer Your Cell Phone On A Date?

First and foremost, let’s touch on a topic of frequent interest and dispute—when, if ever, is it appropriate to answer your cell phone on a date? With few exceptions (you’re a doctor or have some other on-call job, you’re expecting important news about a family member’s precarious health situation, etc.), you should put your phone on silent and forget about it. Nothing says “I’m bored with you,” faster than answering your cell or responding to a text in the middle of a dinner date. That’s a surefire way to convince your date that you feel they’re not worth your time. You’re not just hurting your date’s feelings, either—you are also distracting yourself from your own enjoyment of your time together. If you must check your phone, you can always wait until your date goes to use the restroom.

Can You Text Instead Of Call?

Another popular topic of contention is texting. In what situations is texting as appropriate as calling your significant other? A good rule of thumb is to consider texting someone to be a more casual form of communication than calling someone. If you just want to send your sweetie a sentence to let them know you’re thinking of them, or if you’re simply asking them to pick up some pizza for dinner, or sexting them something you want to do later, a text is totally acceptable. Not so if you’re asking them out on a date (especially if it’s the first or second date!), arguing, or apologizing for some sort of wrong-doing. Taking the time to call your boyfriend or girlfriend in these situations shows that you truly care. Additionally, remember that there is no good way to indicate sarcasm or sincerity in a text, so calling someone can save you from some serious (and possibly anger-inducing) confusion.

How Not To Use Your Cell Phone When Dating

There are still more hazards of cell phone use when it comes to relationships. Drunk-dialing is a terrible idea and a really good way to say something you’ll regret. Breaking up with someone over the phone is cowardly, but doing it via text message is even worse. Call things off in person and rest assured that your reputation won’t take a hit after the fact. No one wants to date the girl or guy who becomes notorious for dumping their exes in text form. Yet cell phones also have their benefits. If you’re in a serious relationship and go out of town on business, a quick check-in call or text each night can be a great way to show you care. Plus, you can use these rules to stand out in a sea of ill-mannered singles that don’t know how to behave better. Good cell phone etiquette, not unlike good manners in general, can give you an extra leg up in the dating scene. Just remember, when you use what you’ve learned here to find the person worth saying it to, that first “I love you” should be spoken in person. That means not on the phone, and certainly not in a text!

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Key Rules For Successful Dating

Here’s something to think about: why are you single right now? It sounds like a silly question, but understanding why you want to start the process of moving toward a healthy relationship is just as important as knowing how to do it. This is certainly where we often go wrong when we meet someone we think we like.

So, the game plan, if you’re ready to get started:

1. Relax. This is supposed to be enjoyable, and it is!
2. Non-negotiables are called that for a reason – don’t compromise on the things you really want.
3. Don’t forget who you are and what you want, instead of spending your effort being what other people want.
4. You may think that The Real You is not as attractive as Seductive You, but do you want someone to get to know your seduction routine, or who you really are?

Inner-Viewing For Success

You don’t have time to get to know 1.45 million people, so how do you weed out some serious candidates? Intuition is the best way to figure out who deserves a little more of your time and who doesn’t. With 97% of our incoming information being processed pre-cognitively, you can learn pretty much everything you need to know from your gut feelings.

Remember these things about GREAT relationships:

• Love is not external. You create and generate it inside yourself, and there is an endless supply. It is not something people can give or take away from you.
• Intimacy is not a tool used on the first date to try to get a second date. It grows over time as two people learn to trust each other.
• There is only one chance to have a first kiss with someone, and the anticipation can be just as wonderful. So don’t rush to get it out of the way. If someone is interested in a real relationship, they will wait with you until the time is right.

Questions To Ask A Potential Mate Before The Date

Here are some essential questions to ask before you give out your contact information and make the first date:

1. What is this person connected to? Okay, you just met, but you should be able to build at least some context around a person, even if you’ve just started getting to know them. Where did they go to college? Do they live nearby? Do you have any mutual friends? At the risk of sounding dramatic, getting basic information about a person and checking them out can be a life-or-death thing. Don’t be afraid to use Google to help you learn more about someone. Get their full name and do a little investigating.
2. Where do they live? Long distance relationships may sound romantic and very Hollywood, but in reality they’re extremely hard work, and usually end up either with someone relocating, or with a breakup. If you’re not up for that, then make sure this person lives in your local area before you start connecting with them.
3. Are they single AND available? Just because someone is paying attention to you or flirting like mad doesn’t mean they’re not married. And just because someone is not married doesn’t mean they’re ready or wanting to be in a relationship! Find out right at the beginning if someone is just playing around with you.

Asking these questions may seem corny, but it’s not difficult, and it can cut out a lot of exasperation later. If you respect yourself enough not to waste time with all the wrong people, then the right people will start respecting you in return. It’s a great way to look after both your heart and your safety.

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In fact, no, they are not shallow. Reality is, it’s the surest sign that they are miserable without you. How’s that? Well, you see, they are so hurt and lonely without you they run out to try to heal their wounds by finding someone to fill the hole in their heart since you left. Hey, they will do that before the end of the marriage if you have left energetically from the marriage. (Trust me, this is not justification, only an explanation.)

Beginning To Date Again

Those of us who cannot face jumping back in so quickly are left with the question of how in the heck do we start the process of dating again when we feel so broken and distrustful. Dating was so easy in high school. We were young and had a pool of people to choose from every day. They were all around us in our classes, and only a few already committed to someone. That’s not so true today.

From the time we are in our late 20’s to our golden years it seems the majority of the good ones are already taken. And, where the heck are the good ones that are left. It’s not like you are going to see them in study hall. Dating at work is difficult if not impossible for most of us, so where and how do we meet a potential date anyway?

And more importantly, how do you know when you are ready to dive back into the dating pool? Here are some questions to ask yourself:

• Can you have a conversation with someone without mentioning your ex even once?
• Have you gone through a period of mourning the loss of the marriage?
• Have you worked through your anger?
• Can you honestly say that the dissolution of the marriage was as much your fault as theirs?
• Can you picture yourself being with someone else?
• Can you picture yourself touching someone else?
• Can you picture yourself kissing someone else?
• Do you have a good grasp on what happened between you that didn’t work?
• How about what did work?
• Can you view your marriage and divorce as a “course correction” and not a dismal failure?
• Do you have a clear idea of how you were responsible for what occurred?
• Have you grown enough since your divorce that you can be the kind of partner that you want your partner to be?
• Have you faced your own intimacy fears and blocks?
• When you imagine dating someone have you already planned out your entire life with them? (If so, this is not a good sign)
• Have you forgiven your ex?
• Have you forgiven yourself?

When we have been betrayed, let down, disappointed, abandoned or even abused in our past relationships some of those questions can be really tough. But if you fail to work them through, you are setting yourself up to fail again and, no, you are not ready to date.

The Importance Of Self Growth

Most of us need to go through some kind of counseling or self-growth before we are ready to date again. Dating before you are ready can make dating excruciating for both people (not to mention the friends listening to our saga).

The most important questions are 11, 15 and 16. if you can answer those affirmatively then you might be ready to date, but only if you have fully grieved your marriage.

Grieving is a process that takes time, and a willingness to feel the hard stuff. And of course, like all grieving, it happens in stages and is never quite over. I remember being so glad to be out of the marriage, yet feeling a wave of grief when my ex re-married within two years of our divorce. I was confused at first, because I was clear I didn’t want to be married to him. But the truth is, seeing him marry reminded me of all the hopes and dreams I had of our marriage in the beginning. I had to grieve the loss of those hopes.

Give yourself time to heal, and to face your own part in what occurred between you and you will be ready to date again. For some of us it’s a matter of months, for others it may take years. Don’t let anyone rush you into it either. Friends feeling our pain may want us to get back on the horse again. But you are the only one who knows when you are ready. That said; don’t let fear keep you from riding the horse again. If you have worked through all the questions above, you should get back in the saddle regardless of how scared you are. You deserve to have the love you are capable of giving.

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It just takes a bit of common sense to figure out that rushing into things sexually before knowing a few of the basics about someone probably won’t end favorably unless you’re lucky. And because basing a relationship on luck isn’t a great idea either, here are a few ways to bring up some initial compatability issues before making a physical or sexual commitment to someone.

Address These Issues With A Potential Mate Before Hopping In The Sack

Talk about money. Yes, it’s a touchy subject and I’m not suggesting you delineate how much each person makes, but finding out where financial priorities lie can be important. Talk about how money has been used in their family: worries, abandonment, shame, blame around money. Questions like this will eliminate any problems or irreconcilable differences, and is a way to see who is flexible and who is not, in reference to money and power, and struggles over money. I talk about the importance of this discussion and further techniques in my book, Financial Infidelity.

Embrace conflict. Another important tip in the compatibility of a relationship is to make sure you fight fair. Even new, exciting, young relationships have their share of conflict as you get to know eachother, and while you may not face intense, knock-down, drag-out fights early on, it is essential to walk in your partner’s shoes rather than trying to be right. Instead of shame and blame you should give three solutions, and your partner has to pick at least one. Fighting fairly creates the tension that gives you passion and makes you feel safe.

Make the first move! I suggest women should make the first move in connecting for a first date and getting past that possible lull of uncertainty. If you like him, tell him! (But, PS, texting and emailing during the day can actually deflate the spark of in-person romance!)

There’s a happy medium between putting off physical intimacy forever (unless that’s something you’ve mutually decided on) and jumping in right away. These techniques can help you get to know each other better in the interim and ensure that you’re ready for the next step, when you get to that point.

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Does The Internet = A Greater Chance At Finding Love?

A new study shows that adults who have Internet access at home are much more likely to be in romantic relationships than adults without Internet access. And it’s not just because people spending lots of time on the internet are meeting their significant others there, although that factors in. In addition to finding that people are more likely to be in romantic relationships if they have Internet access in their homes the study revealed that the Internet is the one place that gaining importance as a place where couples meet. This study, called “Meeting Online: The Rise of the Internet as a Social Intermediary” proves that Internet access has an important role to play in helping Americans find mates.

“With the meteoric rise of the Internet as a way couples have met in the past few years, and the concomitant recent decline in the central role of friends, it is possible that in the next several years the Internet could eclipse friends as the most influential way Americans meet their romantic partners, displacing friends out of the top position for the first time since the early 1940s,” said Michael J. Rosenfeld, an associate professor of sociology at Stanford University and the lead author of the study.

How To Keep It In Check

This should come as no surprise, as most of us have a desire for connection with someone else – as well as a readily-available internet connection! But online dating can be played out in a negative way if we’re not careful, through what I call the bio-chemical craving for connection. I discuss this more in my book, Make up Don’t Breakup – which encourages a healthy view interaction within our selves and with our partners. It can become a particular factor in people who are used to constant stimulation and change – much like what we see on the internet!

This craving starts when stress causes thrill-seeking behavior. This behavior can be in the form of financial or sexual conquests and infidelities. You’re looking for ways to self-medicate and to help calm stress levels down.

So no matter where you meet your significant other – online, in person, through friends, wherever – keep in mind that all the search for constant stimulation is great in our culture and can cause stress and thrill-seeking behavior. Of course, this craving can be harnessed for good as well as evil! Instead of allowing the desire for companionship and intimacy take you to thrill-seeking behavior that results in a “high” and then a crash, turn the desire into a search for healthy relationships.

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According UK paper The Sun, Michaels admitted some people might “look down on me” for her behaviour and said some might even say that she may as well have been a prostitute because then she would at least have been paid for sleeping with so many different men, but she said: “I don’t see it like that at all. I was satisfying my own desires by setting up the group.”

Social Networking vs. Online Dating Sites

Gathering dates on social networking sites can be much riskier and more dangerous than utilizing online dating sites for a number of reasons, one of which being dating sites are set up to deal with issues of safety and privacy whereas social networks aren’t focused on that in terms of facilitating meetings and dates. Another issue is that it’s possible for people looking to date or hook up on social networking sites may more often be like Laura Michaels: seeking a thrill. Utilizing this method can be a bad way of trying to get attention.

As Michaels admitted to, this behavior is risky. People seeking it out usually have problems with intimacy and aren’t of the caliber that would create a healthy, fulfilling, safe relationship. It’s this thrill-seeking behavior that can often lead to affairs and other relationship troubles down the road.

It’s a way of over-riding true emotions by opting for a “high” instead. It could be the case that people looking for lots of casual encounters via social networking are seeking out a way to mask the fact that they don’t want to deal with their emotions or don’t know how to engage in true intimacy. It’s a way of acting out – not talking out – extreme feelings in a person’s life.

How Social Networking Can Kill Your Potential Relationships

Additionally, social networks – while they certainly have a number of good, positive aspects – have created a culture of self-indulgence where it’s easy to broadcast any and everything about yourself and find exactly what you’re looking for. This is another behavior that’s fraught with problems when it comes to the point of trying to create a committed relationship. People who have been going a mile a minute, playing fast and loose with sex, emotions and everything in between will find that they have a difficult time honing in on a relationship.

Of course, people seeking these types of thrills aren’t usually concerned with a potential relationship down the road and that’s just the problem – they’re in it for the high the feel in the moment without examining what’s making them seek that high. Just as I encourage couples suffering from this thrill-seeking behavior to communicate with each other, I would instruct single people indulging in risky behavior to communicate with themselves; dig deeper than indulging a momentary desire and learn what feeds the need to act in such a way.

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Finding love within your field of work is very common since you are more likely to bump into one another and because you have a built-in shared interests (not only the career itself, but the traits that go along with it, like creativity, debate, expression, etc.). Also, knowing the complications and processes which accompany a particular position, that person is bound to be more sympathetic and able to better understand your project or plight.

Downsides To Dating In Your Industry

However, there are downsides to dating a fellow writer, lawyer, actor, or anyone else who shares your title. To start, could a conflict of interest cause a break up? If you find yourselves representing opposing clients or contesting for the same project, that competition can extend to your personal relationship. You may even be tempted use your intimate knowledge or position as a way to sabotage their chances from within (such as casually extracting private details about the project and, in turn, sharing them with your boss).

Another downside is that you are bound to know the same people, maybe even share the same friends. “Wait, this doesn’t sound like a bad thing,” you may be saying. Let me tell you, though, when it turns out your coworker is actually your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend or your best guy-friend was once punched by him in a drunken brawl, well, you can see where interacting with the same people can be a bad thing. Industry gossip can fly faster than a Boeing, and you may find yourselves caught up in it. Yet even if there were never any drama between the various parties, it can still be frustrating to share friends.

Finally, how would your relationship endure the success of one or the failure of another partner? One person is bound to earn more, gain more recognition, or achieve a higher position than the other. Would you be able to set aside your own feelings of hurt or rejection in order to praise your partner for his good work? Moreover, would you be willing to take a professional hit, if it meant that your partner would come out on top? Unfortunately, this kind of decision does occasionally surface and, when it does, it will be up to you to decide how your relationship will fare.

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But why do you want to stay friends? If it because you have common interests and get along like the best of friends, great! However, if it is just because the thought of him not being in your life makes your heart ache, this is the wrong reason. Think about how much worse your heart will feel when he finds someone new and expects you to like her.

In fact, if you want a list of reasons why you should not stay friends with an ex, here you go: you want to stay in his life, you want to keep tabs on him, you want to see who he is dating, you want to keep him wrapped around your finger, you want to make him jealous of your new boyfriend, you want to keep him around for the future  just in case and the absolutely worst reason? Because you still love him.

Why Being Friends Might Not Work

Just let it go. You are not friends.  You are a tie which is waiting to be cut.

The key to making a friendship work just like a relationship is communication. You must talk about your feelings for one another and where you stand in each others’ lives. A piece of misguided advice you may hear a lot is to not discuss new relationships with one another. However, this begs the question, why not? If you are not able to talk about your new boyfriend or to hear the details of his new girlfriend, why is it? My guess is you’re not quite over him (or vice versa). And if you are not over him, you cannot truly be friends with him yet.

Together, you should discuss what went wrong with your own relationship and why you are better suited as friends. Only after you have come to terms with these facts can you move on and allow each other to be happy with someone else.

When He Meets Someone Else

Which brings me to my final point: you must be friendly with his new girlfriend. Once she hears of your past fling, she is bound to feel awkward, jealous, or even angry with you for sticking around. Ease her worries and reassure her that you have no intentions of stealing him away. In turn, when you have a new boyfriend, he may also feel uncomfortable with your continuing friendship. Your ex should put forth effort to befriend him. Nevertheless, if after all this, your new boyfriend is still bothered by the situation, you should ask yourself: is a friendship with my ex worth a possible breakup?

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Question: A girl says she only likes men who aren’t white. Is there a way to get her to like me even though I’m white?

–YouTube Viewer

Everyone Has Their Own Preferences

You’ve heard the saying, “to each their own.” This applies perfectly to this situation, because the truth of the matter is, everyone likes what they like. They also don’t like what they don’t like, and very rarely does that ever change. If it does, it is usually not because someone tried to “get” them to change their minds, but because the person themselves decided to try something new. If someone you like doesn’t like white people, or blondes or people that are too fat or too thin or even nerds or jocks for that matter, it may be superficial but you have to realize it’s what they like and that’s just the way it is. You like what you like (and don’t like what you don’t like) and while you may be more open minded than other people about who you want to date, you still have your preferences. Other people have theirs too, whether it seems silly to you or not and there’s just not much you can do about it.

Why “Getting” Someone To Like You Can Backfire

Trying to get someone to like you if they don’t can really end up blowing up in your face if you aren’t careful. Often, people who are trying to  make someone like them end up trying too hard and end up losing themselves in the process. If someone you like doesn’t like certain things about you such as your hair or your body build, you may feel compelled to get a hair cut or color and sign up for an expensive gym membership, spending the majority of your time working out. In essence, people end up changing themselves so much in the process of trying to make someone like them that they can’t stay in touch with their true selves. And in the end, it usually doesn’t work anyway and they still don’t like you. At the end of the day, you’re disappointed with a version of yourself that you’re not familiar with. Many people in this situation have pushed away friends and family during this time as well. Of course, this is worst case scenario. Regardless of what happens, however, trying to “make” someone like you very rarely works out to that person’s advantage.

Being Confident In Who You Are

Take a break from dating and figure out who you are, what you like and what you don’t like. Figure out things you’re willing to sacrifice in a relationship and what you’re not. Learn to be confident in yourself and love yourself for who you are, just the way you are. When you start dating again, date people who are interested in the real you and will accept you as you are. There are plenty of those people out there!

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She said:

Being Clingy

Acting clingy is a HUGE no-no, whether it’s the first date or the hundredth. Embrace your confidence, not your fear.

Being On Your Cell Phone

Same cell phone etiquette goes here. Calling your best friend in the middle of a date won’t get you support – it will likely get you in trouble after your date overhears every word.

Not Keeping Cash On Hand

Despite my previous advice, do have some cash in your wallet. It’ll save an awkward situation if the “who’s paying” agreement hasn’t been sussed out in advance. You know what they say about assuming.

Being Fake

Don’t put on the “I’m perfect” act. We all know you’re human. The guy you’re seeing should be falling for you, not a facsimile of whom you think he wants to see.

Talking Too Much

There’s plenty of time to get to know each other, if all goes well. It’s really difficult to bounce back from verbal diarrhea, as the unpleasant name implies.

Flirting With Another Guy

Flirting with another guy while you’re out on a date is not cool – even if said date isn’t going well. It’s not in good form, period. You’ll come across as rude, a game-player, or both.

Acting Like You’re In A Relationship With Your Date

Don’t act like you’re already in a relationship. Slow your roll, honey! You don’t need to play games, but don’t go picking out China patterns either.

Being Late

If you’re meeting at an agreed-upon location, don’t be late. You’re playing into a stereotype, as well as wasting someone’s time.

Being Rude

Smiles, everyone! Whether it’s a match made in heaven, or less chemistry than a turkey in a freezer, manners still count. If your companion for the evening isn’t your dream guy, you can still be graceful about it.

Lying

Lying about your age or your career? Don’t. Save the padding for resumes and bras. If you get serious about each other, your guy will find out – and he may question what else you aren’t telling the truth about. Who wants to be branded a liar?

He said:

Forcing It

You know what you want. A boyfriend/husband/knight in shining armor/whatever. You tell your perspective partner this. A lot. He’s going to get turned off fast. Let him know where you’re at, but don’t beat him over the head with it. Don’t think you’re his girlfriend until he says so. Period.

Seeming Interested When You Know You’re Not

If you’re into him, great. If not, don’t waste his (or your) time. Go into the date with a time constraint. No first date should last longer than thirty minutes. You’ll know in the first thirty seconds if you like him or not. If you want to stay past the allotted time frame, great! Then do so, but put one in place prior to showing up, show you both can eject if it’s not happening.

False Advertising

If you’re a small chested girl, show it. If you’re a large chested girl, show it. There’s nothing wrong with either, but I should know which I’m dealing with before I get the shirt off. This goes to all aspects of who you are. If you want someone who will love you for whom you are, you’d better start of by showing him who that is and seeing if he’s interested. If he’s not, move on.

Looking For A Road Map

If you ever find yourself wondering “where is this relationship going?” that’s a bad sign. The truth? You know where it’s going, you’re just not happy with it. Love isn’t something you question. It’s something you know. Asking for a sign is in fact a sign. Not a good one.

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Question: I want to know what to say when it gets all silent when you’re talking to girl, because I really don’t know what to say next! I feel like I’ve already talked about everything. Please help, thanks!

–YouTube Viewer

Silence Isn’t Always A Bad Thing

Having a few quiet moments during a date isn’t so bad, especially if you’re having a meal together. You and your partner need time to actually eat! Society conditions us to be around noise all the time, through television, radio and the Internet. Most people’s homes nowadays aren’t quiet at all – there’s always some kind of noise or talking going on in the background. So naturally, people begin to feel comfortable around constant noise and are actually made uncomfortable by being in silence. Sometimes silence is good. However, there is a big difference between that good old fashioned “comfortable silence” and the awkward kind that can go on a bit too long. Here’s how to combat the latter.

Learn More About Her

While you may be tempted to talk on and on about yourself because you’re A) not really sure what questions to ask her and B) you’re afraid of letting the conversation die, talking only about yourself on the first date is the quickest way to throw away your chance at a second date. Take some time to plan  out some different types of questions to ask your date so you can get to learn more about her. Ask her questions about her day, where she works, what she likes and what her favorite things are. Ask her what she might do in different hypothetical situations. Believe it or not, these types of questions can help you learn a lot about a person! Be prepared to answer the same questions yourself. You may find that a lot of questions open up new conversations!

Use A Cheat Sheet

 If you’re talking to your partner on the phone, having a cheat sheet full of questions you want to ask is a great way to keep the conversation going. While some dead time is almost always acceptable during a face to face date, dead time on the phone usually isn’t. Need some help thinking of questions to ask your date to keep the conversation going? Use Michael Webb’s 1000 Questions For Couples. It’s a comprehensive guide absolutely chock full of tons of questions that you can ask your partner – and not just the usual ones that you hear all the time. These questions will really get the ball rolling on a date. They’re also great questions to ask even if you’ve been in a committed relationship with someone, because many of these questions you probably won’t know the answer to even if you’ve been with your partner for years!

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Question: Hey Dan and Jennifer, this girl and I have been talking and she and I both really like each other, but our age difference is substantial, however, I don’t see a problem with it. She still likes me but she is nervous to be with me. What is your advice on my situation?

–YouTube Viewer

The Older You Get, The Less It Matters

When you get older, an age difference between you and your partner matters less and less. For example, if you’re 75 and your partner is just 60, it’s less of an issue than if you’re 32 and your partner is 17. If you or your partner are currently middle age, then there is even less to worry about. If you are 40 and your partner is 55, you’ll find that people are actually surprised that you’re fifteen years apart! If you’re young, however, the age difference can easily become a big deal. Even just a few years in this case can be a problem. If you’re 16 and your partner is 18 or even 19, you’ll notice that a lot of people have something to say about dating a younger woman or man.

Take It Slow

When you’re young, don’t be afraid to take it slow if you and your partner are a few or several years apart. There’s nothing wrong with taking it slow and it can pose less of an issue if you and your partner are dating without being sexually active, depending on your age. This comes into play more often if one partner is under the age of eighteen and one partner is over the age of eighteen. The younger man or woman may want to wait until they turn eighteen before the couple takes the relationship to the next level. Regardless of the age difference, however, make sure you and your partner are both ready to take that step if the time comes. If you aren’t, there’s no reason to rush it!

When It Becomes A Legal Problem

Legally, eighteen is the age in which people can give consent to have sex. If you or your partner are under the age of eighteen and one of you is over, it can become a legal issue when sex becomes involved. A vindictive parent may decide they want to press charges for “statutory rape” or “corruption of a minor” even if the “victim” is just a few weeks or even days shy of being eighteen. Parents can press charges even if the “victim” was fully consenting of the sexual act. The statute of limitations on this kind of charge is long enough that you could be in trouble well after your partner turns eighteen. If both partners are under the age of eighteen, the issue becomes less of a problem as both parties involved are considered minors. However, once one partner turns eighteen, legally you and your partner can get in more trouble than it was worth. The best thing to do in a situation like this is play it safe and wait!

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Top Things Men Do To Screw Up A First Date – What She Said

How could a man screw up a first date? Oh, let me count the ways! John’s going to hate this, but I’m gonna say it – if a man asks a woman out on a first date and doesn’t pay, it’s a huge turnoff. Show me some effort, show me respect – and don’t show up late. Once again, I’m not saying it comes down to how much you spend – in this case it’s truly the thought that counts. That said, let me countdown the proverbial “Top Ten:”

1. See above. Have plan and have your wallet on hand. You don’t want to pay? There probably won’t be a second date. The last thing I want to hear the first time out is, “How ya doin’ for cash?” How am I doing? Fine, thanks to the $20 I have in my purse that I’m using to take a cab home.

2. Ogling other women. You want to eye that waitress’s ass? Do it on your own time. I’m not crazy enough to think you’re never going to look at another woman, but the first date isn’t the time or place.

3. Pressing for sex. If there’s a mutual attraction, it’ll happen in its own sweet time. A first date is different from a one-night stand. Know the difference.

4. Expecting your mind to be read. Did you have a great time? Call and say so! Guesswork isn’t sexy.

5. Talking about the ex. This is our time to get to know each other. Chatting about another woman isn’t high on my list. Keep the ex-girlfriend information to yourself until the relationship deepens.

6. Cell phone. Keep the cell phone in your pocket. Stopping to take a call, text or check your email? Not cool. Eyes and ears akimbo. If you’ve got a busy phone, enjoy the buzzing in your pocket and check your messages later.

7. Getting drunk – like really, really drunk. Do a few beers make you a little chatty? Great. Nothing wrong with a warm glow, as long as safe transportation is arranged. Irish Car Bombs and a Taco Bell run? No excuse for this behavior, unless your next stop is AA.

8. Referring to yourself in the third person. It’s not wrong – but it creeps me out. It makes me wonder what other personality tics you have tucked away.

9. Showing up with another person. It’s a date, not a party. Save the chaperone for the 8th grade dance.

10. Talking too much. Do you loooove the sound of your own voice above all others? Then you might as well skip the date and stay home with your mirror. Talking incessantly due to nerves is one thing. Extolling your virtues via a monologue is another.

Top Things Men Do To Screw Up A First Date – What He Said

It’s funny that Jenna said guys need to show up on time. I love showing up late for dates. I do it purposefully, because most women are always late, and I figure, I’ve got extra time, and why not make HER wait for ME? Anyhoo, here’s the list:

As a guy, you have to realize the cold hard facts. A man doesn’t choose a woman. A woman chooses a man. If you want a girl that’s a “10,” that’s fine, but why should she choose you? You have to provide her with something that no one else does. That starts with being interesting. Have opinions. Voice them, without being overbearing or close minded. Be someone she can’t figure out. Be mysterious, yet open. Chicks love that stuff.

1. Not taking the lead. It’s a man’s job to lead. Period. Most women (assuming they are feminine and not masculine in nature) want to be led. That doesn’t mean be a dick, but it does mean you are the director of the experience. As Chris Rock once said, “anything you mutter ain’t getting done.” Saying “Where do you want to go?” won’t get you anywhere. Saying “Oh my god. You totally need to try the Margaritas at [X], meet me there Sunday at 7:30” will work. If she can’t make it, she’ll let you know, but she wants a man, damn it. Be the man.

2. Being predictable. Ever wonder why women love those bad boys? It’s because they don’t know what’s coming next. They have absolutely no idea what to expect, and they love that. They need that. They crave it. It’s something primal for them, almost. Now I’m not advocating treating women like crap, but if you can offer them the best of both worlds, she’ll eat that up. Be mysterious. Tell her to pack a bag for the weekend, and refuse to tell her where she’s going. Always keep her guessing. She should never know everything about you. Always keep a little bit hidden.

3. Treating it like a job interview. I’m not saying don’t get to know her. I’m just saying I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people out on dates, and they have all the sexual chemistry of a job interview. In Utah. I’m not saying you have to take her in the bathroom and do her, but you have to let her know you have sexual desire for her, and not be too shy about it, but not be too forceful either.

If I’m on a date with a woman and I don’t generate some sexual electricity, I will wind up in the friend zone (that is, if I am ‘lucky’).

4. Listening to her words, and not her body. Before you cut my head off, let me explain. Listen to her words yes, but pay extra attention to what she’s saying WITHOUT words. Often times her mouth will say one thing, but her body will say another. I remember going out with a woman on a first date and I thought it was going horrible. Why? Because she kept telling me how full of shit I was. Kept telling no, but her body was SCREAMING yes. Her eyes were super dilated, as if she was forcing them open to take all of me in, kept “accidentally” bumping into me, playing with her hair etc. I was shocked when I got a second date, because I was so clueless on the first.

5. Going too sexual too fast. Jenna said don’t force sex on the first date. I agree, but I don’t think there’s a set time frame for when sex is appropriate. The right time is when it feels right for her. That can be ten dates from the first time you meet, or ten minutes from the time you meet. It all boils down to how you do it, no pun intended. A one night stand is different that relationship sex. The difference can be summed up in one word: comfort. She needs a different comfort level for relationship sex. She wants you to want to want her, but for more than just booty. She needs to know that

6. Not setting up the second date. If you want a second date with this person, it should be set up long before you ask for it, midway through the first date ideally. Make plans for the second one, subtly. Start by dropping hints about amazing places to take her, restaurants that you know of (one’s that she’s never tried, of course), things like that. Relationships are all about planting seeds (not like that, you pervert). So sew them well.

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Question: Do you lose your friends once you fall in love?

–YouTube Viewer

All Relationships Require Nurturing

Every single relationship requires “care” and “feeding.” Whether it’s a friendship, a committed relationship, a work relationship or other type of relationship, each one will require you to nurture it for the relationship to last. A friendship cannot last if you do not spend time with your friends or stop calling them. Each relationship requires a certain amount of give and take. If your friends are doing all of the giving and you’re not giving them anything back, your friendships are going to fizzle quickly.

Why New Relationships Cause People To Lose Friends

It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new relationship. When you’re in love with someone, you naturally want to spend all your time with them. Any free moment that you get will be spent with them, while everyone else waits on the sidelines. Of course, not everyone will wait for you to find some time in your schedule for them and will soon go about their business. Pretty soon, you won’t have anyone sitting on the sidelines waiting for you. Unfortunately, this happens all to often with new relationships. People don’t take the time out they need to for their friends, instead they spend almost all of their time with their new boyfriend or girlfriend. Eventually, they’ll notice that they really don’t have any friends left. This can even happen to the deepest, longest lasting friendships. Even if you have been friends with someone since kindergarten and you have seen each other through everything, if you don’t devote some time to your friends, you stand a very good chance of losing them.

Find Time For Your Friends

While you may be tempted to spend the majority of your time with your boyfriend or girlfriend because everything is so new and feels so wonderful, it’s important that you make time for your friends too. Schedule a regular “girls” or “guys” night out once a week or every couple of weeks. Take some time to connect with your friends, talking about what is going on in your life and asking them about theirs. You may also be tempted to talk your friends’ ears off about how great your new boyfriend or girlfriend is, but make sure you listen to them talk about their lives too. You may devote plenty of time to your friends, but if all they’re doing is listening to you go on about your life, they’re going to start coming up with excuses as to why they can’t do girls’ night this week. Ideally, your friendships should stay the same no matter what type of relationships you’re going through. Whether you’re in a relationship, out of a relationship or playing the field, your friendships should be the rock you can rely on throughout everything.

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Why Is She Stripping?

The first thing you must consider is her reason for stripping. This can be a telling factor in whether you may want to stay with her or not. If, for example, she is just working her way through college (as the tired cliche goes), then it may be possible to temporarily set aside any misgivings you may have. Yet if she strips because it gives her power or makes her feel desirable, be prepared for a low self-esteem and a whole lot of baggage.

What are her future plans for stripping? Is it a gig or is it a career? While you may not begrudge her for doing what she has to do for a couple months, will you be as accepting after several years? Think of if/when you decide to have children. There is no maternity leave for strippers, no Bring Your Child to Work Day. Moreover, in the event that she is laid off or fired, many strippers find it difficult to transition into a regular job not only because of the drastic difference in compensation, but also, commonly, because of their lack of job skills. Knowing how to hang upside down on a pole will not fix a jammed printer or create a spreadsheet.

Is There Intimacy Between You And Her?

Then there is the joke about how the sex life of both gynecologists and strippers dwindle because they don’t like bringing their work home. Yet there is a bit of truth to it. When a stripper spends every night forcing intimacy with strangers, it can become difficult to not force it at home, as well. Also, after feeling objectified by lusty men night after night, she may less than stoked to find an amorous boyfriend waiting at home.

What about the pros, you ask. There may be some benefits to dating a stripper. To start, she has to at least be somewhat attractive, right? Probably has a nice body and decent sense of rhythm. If she goes into the industry with a rational mind, she will have entertaining stories to tell. And frankly, let’s face it: you get to have what hundreds of guys want.

Are There Really Pros To Dating A Stripper?

But what about the other kind of pros? I’m talking about the professionals, the strippers who take their craft to the next step as a way to rake in even more money. This stereotype holds more than just a nugget of truth: there are many strippers who have sex or perform other physical acts with clients. Unfortunately, this is a large part (albeit unofficial) part of the lifestyle. Not every stripper will succumb to this impromptu pay-raise; but let’s face it, she will be exposed to it.

What a bummer, I know. It doesn’t sound nearly as sexy or glamorous as it did in your head when you and your buddies saw her dancing last Friday. Nevertheless, if you feel none of this is a dealbreaker, give it a try. Don’t let this dressing down steer you away from what could be true love.

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Be Truthful In Your Profile

If you hiking makes you wheeze and you would rather watch a Lifetime movie than a documentary, say so. Don’t write what you think others will like. (Similarly, if not superficially, don’t post pictures which are, um, dishonest.) Wake up! As soon as you meet, that person will see the real you anyways (unless this is some wacky sitcom in which you hire an actor to play you on the date, because you accidentally bleached your hair the night before). When you finally meet, this person may not feel you are his or her type (it stings, I know, but that’s life) after all; not to mention, your date might be peeved that you lied.

Resist The Urge To Be Snarky Or Apathetic

“Internet dating is so lame.” “I’m only doing this to shut your friends up.” Don’t worry. I get it and so does everyone else who reads your profile: you are embarrassed. You are ashamed that you are shopping online for a boyfriend like you shop for shoes. You worry that people will see you as one of the aforementioned cases of why can’t she get a date in the real world? Get over it. Millions of people date online, whether out of convenience, in an effort to save money, or as a way to connect with someone prior to physically meeting. Coming across as judgmental or bored on your profile will not wow anybody.

Be Selective With Whom You Meet

Don’t devalue your time or yourself by talking to people with whom you’re not stoked about or interested in. Rather than feeling obligated to talk to or meet with someone out of worry of seeming cold, politely decline. Otherwise, you will be wasting your time and theirs if you don’t see a relationship coming out of it. Similarly, don’t feel pressured into continuing contact with pushy people. There seem to be a lot of them online.

Don’t Wait For Others To Contact You

Take the initiative and send them a note. If they are not interested, they will likely either ignore your message or gently turn you down (sometimes you will encounter jerks, but why let the bad manners of others bother you?). No harm, no foul. Try again.

Give It Some Time

You won’t meet Prince Charming right away. Hell, you may not even meet Prince Um-Okay for a while. Nevertheless, if you are serious about finding a relationship, you shouldn’t give up after the first bad date. Along those lines, if you start chatting with someone you like, don’t rush into the first meeting. Keep up the conversation. Getting to know a person is the best way of ensuring the first date will go well, since you will have weeded out any incompatible people long before you ever meet up.

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Question: My question is plain and simple so hopefully you will answer. I haven’t had a girlfriend in 8 months. I am currently in high school going off to college. Is there potential I will have a girlfriend in college?

–YouTube Viewer

It Depends On You!

No Magic 8 Ball can truly tell you whether you’ll have a girlfriend in college or not. If you want to have a girlfriend when you go off to college, it’s up to you to make it happen! If you’re hanging out alone in your dorm room playing video games when you’re not in class, you’re not going to meet people. There are thousands of great people at every college or university, and most of them are from out of town and have left their friends and families at home. They’re looking to meet people and develop friendships and relationships too! It’s up to you to put yourself out there so people can meet you and get to know you.

How To Meet Girls In College

When you’re not studying, make an effort to go to some of the on campus activities. Most colleges and universities offer a variety of activities such as volleyball, fooseball tournaments, pool and more. These activites are a great way to meet new people! Pick up the campus newsletter to find out when things are happening and get your studying done so you can plan to go to the activities. Colleges also post things on billboards around campus, so take a few minutes while you’re waiting for the shuttle to check out the flyers. You can also hang out at an on campus coffee shop, study hall or even the student union. Keep an open mind and a friendly, positive attitude and don’t be afraid to approach someone to say hello! If someone approaches you, be warm and receptive rather than shy. Going to college and being around so many new faces is scary but it can also be fun!

Don’t Get Discouraged

Even if you don’t meet someone right away, don’t stress out. If you continue to put yourself out there, you’ll eventually meet someone that wants to date you and vice versa. Start by making friendships and spending time with new friends. Meet them to eat at the dining hall or meet for a study group on the weekend. Friendships open doors to meeting new people as well, because you’ll get to know the friends of friends and so on. Eventually you’ll hit it off with a girl and start a fun, exciting new relationship that might turn into something that lasts! Remember that dating in college is all about having fun and learning new things. If it doesn’t work out with one girl, it doesn’t mean you’ll never find anyone. This is the time to pick yourself back up and get back in the game! When you present your best self, people will want to get to know you.

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Question: How do you know if a girl likes you and if she does, how can you ask her out? I have a very close friend I would like to date, but I do not want to lose her as a friend. The reasons why I think she likes me is because she has told me how ugly she thinks she is and how she will never find love. We are very close and I do not want to lose her as friend. Please help!

–YouTube Viewer

Let Her Know How You Feel

Honesty is the best way to go on this one. Pretending that you don’t like her as more than a friend or saying that you just want to stay friends because you think that’s what she wants or you’re afraid of ruining the friendship isn’t going to do either of you any good at all. Tell your friend how you feel about her and be completely honest. Let her know why you like her and why you want to be more than friends. Don’t ask for a response right away, because putting her on the spot to accept your romantic invitation may lead to a “no” because she just needs time to absorb the information. Just let her know that you’re telling her how you feel and you simply wanted her to be aware of it. Let her take it from there if she wants to. If she doesn’t make a move, you can continue being friends.

How To Interpret Her Body Language

You may be wondering if your friend has been showing you romantic affection for awhile and you haven’t been picking it up. If a girl likes you, she’s going to give you a lot of body language that shows that she’s sweet on you. She may touch you often, face you when you speak or constantly laugh at your jokes. She may want to be close to you all the time or may want to hang out all the time. Pay close attention to your friend’s body language, because often you will be able to tell if a girl likes you simply because of the way she acts towards you.

Show Her Affection

If you like your friend romantically, it’s important that you show her affection as well as telling her the truth about how you feel. Show her with your body language that you like her. Hug her, be close to her and compliment her. Compliments always go a long way for a woman! Laugh at her jokes and be there for her. If you’re good to her, sooner or later she will see that you’re a great choice for her. But she’ll never choose you if she doesn’t know how you feel about her!

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Whatever you do, you shouldn’t be complacent when it comes to dating. Most men realize this and they do what they can to be more romantic, but unfortunately, the women won’t recognize their efforts. It’s not always because the men are doing it wrong. It may be because the woman expects something more.

Your mission is to make her think of you as the most romantic guy ever, and here are 5 ways to do that.

Do Her Chores

Making life easy for your girl is one sign that you love her, and she will feel this too. Once a week, make it a point to give your girl a day off by taking charge of chores while she does her nails or while she visits a salon for a makeover.

Flowers

You often hear that girls think it’s sweet when men give them flowers for birthdays and valentines, right? You know what’s sweeter? It’s giving flowers when there’s no special occasion to celebrate. On any ordinary day, give her a few stalks of her favorite flowers. Women are conditioned to like this gesture from their childhood, so you can’t go wrong with this one.

Dinner

Even the modern woman feels all warm and fuzzy when a man pays for her meal. It’s just an instinct that all women share. Take your girl out, go to her favorite restaurant and snack together on her favorite dishes whenever you can.

Travel Together

Whether it’s just the next state or a neighboring country, make sure you spend some time with your girl travelling to another place for a change of scene. Being stuck in one place can be uncomfortable, not to mention boring. Make sure you ask your girl where she wants to go, and which activities she wants to try in another place before making your plans.

Sex

Love making is the ultimate way to express your feelings to her. Set it up nicely with a good bubble bath, scented candles and aromatic oils. When she’s relaxed, you can proceed with erotic massage. Be patient and make her feel that it’s her night and you’re her sex slave for the night.

Go for kinky sex! If your girl is usually submissive during sex, turn the tables on her and let her dominate you for one night. However, be sure to give her guidance and instructions (like what the leather whip is for), or offer suggestions on how to role play as a dominatrix.

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Declutter Yourself

• To learn what you DO want, define what you DON’T want. Everyone has some things that are non-negotiable – some people won’t tolerate smoking, others won’t tolerate gambling, and so forth. To learn how to make an effective list of deal-breakers, get a copy of Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers.
• Prepare yourself for your new relationship everyday by doing little things to de-clutter your soul. It’s time to start letting go of all those old love letters and photos that only remind you of heartbreak. Start looking toward your future and be ready for love!
• Desperation doesn’t look good on anyone. No matter how desperate you may feel inside, rushing into things at the first sign of chemistry is not likely to end well. Remember the last time you were head-over-heels about someone and did a bunch of stupid things you now wish you hadn’t? This time around you have an opportunity to do things differently: think it through. Something SEEMING perfect is a lot different from it actually BEING perfect.

Attract The Right Kind Of People

• Starting off with “sexy” may seem like a smart move, but is that really how you want people to value you?
• You are a human being, not a product in a display window. Don’t go out there trying to sell who you are.
• Relax and know that there is enough love out there for all of us, plenty to go around and around. So smile! You don’t have to compete with anyone to come out a winner in this game. There’s plenty of love out there that everyone can win.
• Put off that urge to merge until you’ve found out some vital things – what are this person’s relationship goals? Where do they see you fitting into that framework? Jumping into bed is not going to create a foundation if one wasn’t there to begin with.
• You want to aim for a balance in the flow between give and take. You bring certain things to the party to offer; what does the other person bring? Knowing this right from the beginning can help you avoid a situation where you’re doing all the giving all the time, and they’re doing all the taking.
• Aim to be with someone who likes the kind of person you really are. I used to think I would attract a greater number of people by trying to be what I thought people wanted, but the key to finding someone who fit me well was to embrace my true self, and let that shine through to attract the right person!

Be Your Best Self

• Notice how you act and how you feel when you’re around the person you like. Do they bring out your best qualities, or do they bring out some strange things you don’t even recognize as being you? There are some subtle differences between excitement and fear. There’s a difference between feeling energized, invigorated and refreshed, as opposed to anxious, unsure, and insecure.
• Safety and integrity are important – don’t compromise on your core values! Use your common sense and take care.

But the best thing I could ever say to you, the advice that will see you through every trial and tribulation, is the one you can start putting into practice today: Great relationships begin within!

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Here are some tips to keep your fun from turning into disaster: First, remember to pay attention now or pay later. Keep your wits about you. Second, be honest with yourself whether the fun you’re having is worth the consequences, whatever they might be. Third, remember to use a condom! In the meantime, here are the answers to a couple of your questions.

I met this girl at school and ended up falling for her. However, at the time she had a boyfriend who was moving to France. I saw her a couple of times before they officially broke up and then asked her out on a date. She said yes, then flaked on me twice (both times legitimate-ish reasons such as her grandparents’ anniversary do and something else).

We eventually went out a couple of times and texted each other a bit, then suddenly after our second date when I kissed her goodnight on the cheek she didn’t text me for over a week and just ignored my email (I tried to contact her three times). Then she started to talk again and we have seen each other about every two weeks since. I have kissed her on the cheek a couple of times and once on the lips, but that’s it.

When we are out we have such a good time and get along great, and although there is not much physical contact she flirts back. She has since then invited me to go on holiday with her and her family. I’m just not sure where I stand. Are we going out? Her old bf is in a relationship but she isn’t going out with anyone else and never talks about other guys with me. On Valentine’s Day I gave her a card and chocolates, and she gave me the same. She lets me pay for coffees and other things like that. But my question is: Who am I to her, a friend or a boyfriend?

—James, UK

Ah, James, it’s so cute to hear about people giving each other cards and chocolates on Valentine’s day… if those people are kids! You’re an adult now, so it’s time to start using your words to say what you mean, and to find out where you stand. All you have to do is ask her what she wants, and be straightforward about what you want. She’ll appreciate you not playing games, and in the process you’ll learn whether there’s any mileage in pursuing her or not. But here’s a tip: if you’re not getting any clear signs from her, chances are it’s because she’s not that into you, so prepare yourself.

Every time I meet someone and we wind up liking each other, it always turns out she just wants me as a friend. Even though they all tell me they would date me. Is there any way I can stop winding up the “best friend?”

—Nick, US

There are so many benefits to having a girlfriend, including all the public displays of affection, hugging, kissing, and the wonderful feeling of having someone you’re exclusive with. To get that, you need to look at what you’ve done so far, and compare it to what you should be doing if you want to get that extra step further. Knowing what to do differently can be tricky with women, mostly because our concern for our own safety over the past two millennia has prevented us from having the liberty to come out and say exactly what we want.

Ensuring success in dating is not that different from ensuring success in any other area. You have to define what you want, make a clear plan for getting it, and execute your plan. Remember that what you want is a dating relationship with one girl who meets your criteria – not friendships with a lot of different girls. So find a girl that you’re interested in dating, and ask her on an actual DATE. Girls are keenly aware of the the difference between a date and just hanging out, so if you use that specific word, she won’t be in any doubt as to your intentions. After a few dates, she should have given you a real kiss, or at the very least some very clear signs as to whether or not she’s into being more than friends.


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Go People-Watching

Grab a mug of coffee or a bag of trail-mix and head to a busy public place, like a park or sidewalk bench. Set up somewhere comfortable and just watch passersby for a while. You’ll get a chance to notice things about the world around you which often go unnoticed. Plus, you will have your partner there to talk about the situations you observe or people who catch your eye. You can dream aloud about how you want to be like the old couple, still holding hands after being married for fifty years. You can exchange knowing glances about the downright absurd fashion statements the teenagers are sporting. You can even share a comfortable silence together.

Take A Class Together

Whether it’s painting pottery, learning a new language, or gun-range shooting, find something that you both want to learn more about and sign up. Having someone with you while you learn new things can make the situation less intimidating and sometimes even more fun. A date idea, such as taking a class together, gives you a look into how your partner’s wheels turn when they’re faced with a challenge. Also, you can learn a lot about a person when he or she is out of their comfort zone.

Spend The Night At Home

Spend the night at home, or a night in a hotel if that’s more up your alley. Turn off the phone, the television, the computers…and climb into bed. Arm yourself with a sexy nightie, toys, videos, plenty of water, and some snacks to feed to one another. Take turns giving and receiving massages, have a tickle fight, act out a scene from one of your videos, or tell naughty bedtime stories. Sex is the best part of a date anyway! Why not cut out the middlemen otherwise known as Chili’s and the latest “rom-com”?

Go Old-School

Head to a rink and pull on some roller-skates. Find a diner and split a chocolate shake. Drive up to “the Point,” the beach—wherever the local make-out spot is—and make out. (Leave your clothes on, though. An indecent exposure ticket kind of kills the mood.)

Take A Drive Or Bus Ride

No destination, no expectations. Set out in one direction and see where you end up. You can play slug-bug, try to spot out-of-state license plates, or find a new restaurant. When you start an adventure without knowing how it will end, you never know what you’ll discover.

It could be anything, really. Look at the date as time to have fun and get to know your partner, even if you think you know them well enough already. Some of the greatest memories in a couple’s shared life are made at the most unexpected times.

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Will Financial Differences Tear You Apart?

A difference in economic class has a way of putting strife into an otherwise happy relationship, of even possibly splitting people apart. Simple situations like treating your partner to a fancy dinner (or worse, expecting when the check comes that they will pay half of a dinner they cannot afford) can make that person feel insecure. Maybe it’s your anniversary and your partner lavishes you with jewelry, while all you could afford for him was a card and a tie. Maybe you are planning a wedding or a vacation. You, with your enviable savings account, want a lavish wedding or two-week-long luxury cruise, while he, with only pocket lint in his account, simply cannot afford it.

These situations can inadvertently give you the upper hand in the relationship if you are the wealthier, or make you feel insignificant and unworthy if you are the poorer. It can add tension and resentment to even the most loving of pairs. One source of tension can come from you feeling like a gold-digger (someone who is with a man or woman just for the money), if your partner is always doting on you. If you are the richer of the two, you may subconsciously wonder if he or she isn’t with you simply because of your wealth.

How To Prevent Money From Destroying Your Relationship

Nevertheless, it depends on the personality of the people involved and of how they handle this situation. Maybe they have reached an understanding, in which one person doesn’t mind being doted upon. In that case, these extravagances can seem surreal and exciting, an experience he or she might not have otherwise had if not for the partner.

One unexpected benefit might be the differing viewpoints each person can provide to the other, having been raised in or living in vastly different social scenes. Maybe the more financially secure partner has insight into taxes, IRAs, or investment skills, which could be helpful to the other. Or maybe the partner who grew up poor can provide a dose of humility if the other starts throwing around their money a little too casually.

The best way to keep money from ruining your relationship is to always communicate, no matter how uncomfortable the conversation may be. Discuss each of your ideas for gift-giving, for paying bills, for treating one another to dinner. With time and understanding, you may find a middle class, I mean, middle ground is possible.

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Should You Fork Over The Dough For Your Date?

First, how long have you been together? If it hasn’t been very long at all, stepping up to support him or her could set a bad precedent for the future of this relationship. However, if you are already living together and have committed a major portion of your lives to each other, this should be a no-brainer. Try doing a few things to recession proof your relationship before the going gets too tough.

Second, how long will he or she be able to get by? Is there an emergency savings account that can be accessed? Do you have money you would be willing to loan? Did the employer give them a severance package? These situations may make the transition easier for the both of you. This is a time when couples must work together to find a solution.

If there is no backup plan, get one…fast. Now is not the not the time for your partner to host X-Box tournaments to all the unemployed people on the block. They should be sending out resumes left and right, stapling them to lampposts, if necessary (no, not really). You can help by writing up the resume if you are skilled with business writing. If you aren’t, offer to help by looking it over a couple times. Meanwhile, your partner should look into the possibility of getting a part-time job to sustain them until a full-time job comes along.

Supporting Your Partner During The Rough Patches

The best thing you can do for your partner is to be supportive and avoid financial infidelity. This is a very difficult time, one in which a person feels lowly and burdensome. Reassure them that they’ll find something. When they start to feel down on themselves, help with the online search or tweak their resume to fit each job. Having a support system will keep him or her motivated. Work with them on interview skills. Offer to introduce them to people in your network, people who could possibly help them secure a position. Try not to make money an issue or talk about money much if you can during this time. It’s stressful for all, but making them feel worse about it will not help matters.

Finally, while you love and adore this person, keep a wary eye open. Don’t let them fall into the habit of depending on you, of letting you do all the work. You don’t want to constantly hassle them about job-hunting or networking. However, if you never see them making progress toward finding a job and the high score in PacMan keeps growing with each passing day, they may be taking advantage of you and your good nature.

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Question: I’m 17 and have recently developed a crush on someone younger than me. He’s about 15. It sounds really bad when I think about it but he doesn’t look 14 or 15 at all. It’s not a serious crush but I like him enough to want to talk to him. He seems to act like he likes me, but I don’t really know if he does. Is it okay to date him even if he’s that young?

–YouTube Viewer

When Age Doesn’t Matter

When you and your partner are older, a large gap in age generally doesn’t matter. If you’re 65 and he’s 75, it’s not as big a deal than if you have a 10 year age gap with your partner when you’re younger. Smaller age gaps matter even less as you and your partner grow older. Age gaps when you are younger, however, matter a great deal not only because of legal issues but also because you and your partner are very different emotionally and mentally. Even a two year age difference in your teens can make a big difference in emotional maturity between you and your partner.

When Age Does Matter

Age differences matter a lot when you and your partner are young. For example, if your partner is 15 and you are 20 or even 25, age gaps are a big issue. Even small age gaps, such as your partner being 15 and you being 17 can be a problem. First, think about the legal issues that come up when you date a younger person, especially if you’re bordering on 17 or 18. The laws differ from state to state, but dating a younger person could get you slapped with a statutory rape charge even if you and your partner are only a year or two apart.

Dating Without Sex

If you really want to date someone younger than you, or if you’re the younger of the couple, you can still date – without sex. To avoid getting into trouble, simply focus on getting to know your partner. Go on group dates to the bowling alley or to the movies, or go out to dinner together. Talk about your favorite things, things that mean a lot to you and encourage your partner to do the same. Really get to know each other to find out if you really want to take this relationship to the next level when you and your partner are old enough to legally be intimate with each other. Remember that there are more ways to be close to someone than through sex. Hold hands, hug and cuddle with each other without having sex. Nowadays, even sexting and sending naked pictures of yourself to your partner’s phone can get you into trouble if your partner is under 18, so be extremely careful. Practice patience until legally, you’re both ready.

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Finding The Time

Regardless of whether or not you like kids, you may find yourself in a situation where you are drawn to single mom. Depending on your depth of emotion for this person, you may decide it is worth the extra time and effort. The first hurdle you’ll encounter is her abundant lack of time. As a single parent (presumably working), she is always on the go. Doing the job of two parents means doing double-duty. In order to go on dates, you need to be prepared to book pretty far in advance. Not only that, but dates may be cancelled at the last minute due to flaky babysitters or sick kids. You will have to be patient and understanding, two things that can be very hard to remember by the third rain check.

One of the most important things to remember in dating a single parent is to let them run the show where their child is concerned. Rushing them along before they’re ready for the next step will not make your relationship progress faster. It’ll make it die harder.

Getting Accustomed To The Child

The child presents a multitude of new issues in himself. For one thing, he may have lingering issues about his father (whether he’s absent or in the child’s life still) and who the heck is this new guy? Another situation is that the child can feel jealous of his mother’s attention (once completely wrapped around his finger) now being somewhat focused on a stranger. This all depends on the child’s personality. He may love or hate you, want to be around you all the time, or want his mother all to himself.

Many single parents are extremely protective and may choose to not introduce you to the child until you are both serious about this relationship. This will help you to determine if both of you are ready to take the next step.

Dating Another Single Parent

When you are a single father, dating another single parent can be great – or it can be the Apocolypse. When you think about how hard it is to date a woman when there is a child involved, think of how much harder it would be with two or more children involved. All of a sudden, he’s worried about her kids liking him while she’s worried about his children. To make it even more complicated, the kids may not like the other kids. It certainly adds a very complex level, yet if you can make it work, it can be turned into a unique, but loving family unit.

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Question: I am going on a blind date and from what I know she is incredibly beautiful. I am not the best looking guy around, but I know she is almost a perfect match for me interest wise. But girls are shallow now-a-days and never look past the skin. I think if all goes right, it could be great. What do I do to get her to want to get to know me?

–YouTube Viewer

Not All People Are Shallow

While a lot of people may appear shallow at first glance, or even may seem shallow when you first start getting to know them, they might not be shallow at all. Not everyone is shallow and while feeling attracted to someone is important on a first date, many people do look past the surface and try to get to know someone for who they are on the inside. Some people really are shallow though, and it wil be impossible to know whether your date is judging you based on what you look like or if she’s actually paying attention to you. As important as it is for two people not to judge each other on looks alone, it’s just as important not to assume your date is shallow from the get go. Give her the benefit of a doubt.

Be Yourself

The best way to show your blind date who you really are inside is to be yourself. Making a good first impression is important, but don’t do it in a way that goes against who you really are. Keep an open mind and stay relaxed, remembering to just let her get to know you without having to pretend to be someone or something you’re not. If you end up going on more than one date with this person or develop a relationship with them, eventually the truth will come out. It makes no sense to try to fake it, because when she does get to know the real you, she will be upset for you having pretended from the get go.

Don’t Force It

While you may feel like you and your date have everything in common and more and will hit it off really great, sometimes that just doesn’t happen and there’s nothing you can do about it. Go with the flow and let whatever happens happen. Just focus on having a good time and being yourself, without trying to force the date to become something. If you and your blind date don’t hit it off, don’t stress and don’t automatically attribute it to your looks. Some people click and some people don’t. There are plenty of people out there that you will click with, so it’s important to keep a good attitude about it and keep dating!

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Question: I have a very simple question and I wasn’t sure if you had already made a video about it. How do you tell someone you love them if you’ve never said it seriously before? I’m in my first relationship (I’m 19) and I’ve been dating my boyfriend for four months and I have never felt this way before. I do think I love him but I don’t know how to tell him. Do I love him or do I just think I do?

–YouTube Viewer

Sharing Your Feelings

If you have special feelings for your partner – whether it’s love or something else – it can be a relief to share your feelings with your partner out loud. It’s also nice to know that someone else has special feelings for you, even if you haven’t spoken about your feelings first. It can be scary to put your feelings out in the open like that though, without assurance that your partner feels the same way. But take the chance. You’re only letting your partner know how you feel. Don’t make a big production out of it. It’s as simple as that.

Does He Have To Say It Back?

Part of the awkwardness of saying I love you to someone is when they feel the pressure to say it back when they haven’t even explored their feelings about you yet. Let them know that just because you’ve shared your feelings with them, it doesn’t mean they have to say “I love you” back or share their feelings at all. Let them know you’re just putting it out there in the open. Most guys hear a woman say “I love you” and think that now they have to be in a committed relationship and they’re chained down. Let him know that’s not the case. You’re not definining the relationship or discussing “where you stand.” You’re just letting him know you have special feelings for him.

Show Him You Love Him

One of the best ways to let your partner know that you love them is to show them in addition to telling them. Or you can show them instead of telling them, if you’re really nervous that telling him that you love him out loud will make things too awkward. But remember that actions do speak louder than words in most cases, so you can really make a statement if you just do little things that let him know you care. Pick up his favorite snack at the store next time you’re shopping or remember what he says about something he’s very passionate about, even if it completely disinterests you. Make an effort to let him know you’re really into him with your actions and he’ll definitely get it.

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Question: What is flirting? I really don’t know what that is.

–YouTube Viewer

What Is Flirting?

The definition of flirting is “playful behavior intended to arouse sexual interest.” Flirting moves, however, aren’t necessarily limited to arousing sexual interest though – flirting is definitely a simple way to let someone know you like them and have more than friendly feelings for them. Flirting usually includes lots of eye contact and smiling, and can even include some non-sexual touching. For example, if a girl laughs loudly at your jokes, looks at you often, smiles a lot and brushes up against you or touches your leg or arm when she’s talking to you, chances are she’s flirting with you. A guy that is flirting with a girl may lean in towards her when he’s talking or brush her hair out of her eyes. The best way to identify flirting is by paying attention to their body language.

When Should You Flirt?

Flirting is appropriate any time, especially on a date or if you’re around someone you like a lot and want to be more than friends with. You can start slow so you don’t come on too strong, and work your way up from eye contact and smiling to brushing her hair back to look at hear earrings or laying your hand over hers when talking to her. If you’re shy about flirting, go out and practice flirting with a few girls at a club so you can get the hang of it. Things you don’t want to do when flirting is turn away from her, cross your arms or keep a straight face. Don’t openly flirt with someone who is with someone else, because you can definitely earn some bad blood that way.

It’s Important To Have Fun

The most important thing to remember about flirting is that it’s all about having fun. Don’t take flirting too seriously and wonder if you’re doing it wrong or getting it right. Just relax and go with the flow! Pay attention to your date’s body language and feed off of it too – you can flirt on your own or follow their lead and mimic what they’re doing. Above all though, it’s important that you stay relaxed and open to having a great time. If something awkward happens, just laugh it off! If you have trouble flirting or are shy, go somewhere you are comfortable whether it’s a club or a more intimate, one on one setting such as a coffeeshop or bowling alley. Have a few drinks if you need to loosen up, but don’t get too inebriated. If you’re unsure of how your flirting is being received, feel free to back off a bit until you’re more comfortable. Remember to be yourself – flirting isn’t an act. Your date will appreciate someone real and genuine as opposed to someone putting on.

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Question: Hey Dan and Jenn, last night my best friend of 8 years just admitted to wanting to be “more than just friends” with me however, we are both guys so I’m not really interested. He’s asked me to do stuff with him but I can’t seem to give him a straight no, I guess I just don’t want to hurt his feelings. Is there anyway I can permanently turn him down whilst keeping the friendship we had? Any help will be great, thanks.

–YouTube Viewer

Being Afraid Of Hurting Their Feelings

If your friend likes you and wants to be more than friends and have a romantic relationship with you, it can make the friendship very awkward if you want to stay just friends. You may be afraid to hurt them because they’re you’re friend, so you may have avoided telling them the truth about how you really feel. You may be afraid that they’ll think you don’t want to be friends at all, or they may be so hurt or embarassed that they just can’t bear to be friends with you anymore. Either way, if you haven’t told your friend the truth, you’re probably afraid that it hurt them and that it will end the friendship.

Be Honest

Regardless of how afraid you are to tell your friend the truth about not returning their romantic feelings, it’s important that you be honest with them and honest with yourself. Leading them on, even by not saying anything at all, will make it worse when you do finally tell them that you don’t like them that way or when they figure it out on their own. The best thing to do in this situation is to be completely honest, without being critical, and just let them know in a nice way that you don’t want to be romantic with them. Be sure to let them know that you really do value the friendship and want to continue to be friends, but that moving beyond that just isn’t something you are interested in.

If It Affects The Friendship 

No matter how hard you try not to hurt your friend’s feelings, you might end up doing just that. Hopefully if you’ve been honest with them and weren’t critical, they’ll understand and still want to continue the friendship. But no matter how nice or understanding you are about it, you do run the slight chance that they won’t want to stay friends with you. This is usually on account of embarassment on their part, especially if they really thought you felt romantic about them. If this happens, there’s nothing you can do about it, except let your friend know that you really don’t want to see the friendship end. Even if they choose to end the friendship, it’s important that you were honest about your feelings and didn’t lead them on. They’ll appreciate that in the long run.

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And as you stay with someone longer and longer, their financial obligations seem to become as much your issue as theirs. You pay off your lover’s credit card so that they can relax and be happy. You help them with their rent, or child support payments, or even paying their taxes. And yet, so very few of us invest time in the one place that would probably help us salvage our souls – the therapist’s office!

Find Out Who Your Partner Really Is

Believe it or not, most relationships hit their high point after only six weeks. Once you’ve played your hand, slowly laying down your cards via texting, sex chat, perhaps even some real contact, and lots of insecurity, this person will eventually learn that you are only human, not the fantasy being they had imagined you to be, and the downward spiral begins. That is, if you don’t find out who they really are first and make the first move toward the door.

I was thinking that what would be ideal is if we formed our fantasies (and thus our search for reality) not based on bank balances or dress sizes, but on who people really are on the inside. That in itself may seem like a fantasy, but this is the millennium where things are really starting to turn around for us. More and more people are waking up and becoming self-aware, letting that higher consciousness override the biological drive to go all the way with the first mate that seems halfway reasonable. Our advantage over primates is that we have this inner ability to examine and contemplate our actions, to think about consequences before heading down the road that leads to disaster, and to have the freedom to choose not to take that road.

Stop Playing The Blame Game

This means we have the opportunity to turn humanity into something more evolved. Life is a gift, but it’s also a responsibility. For the first time, I’m really starting to be able to imagine a world in which we embrace this personal responsibility and let go of our blame game. We can choose to do the things that serve us well, and more importantly, choose not to do the things that damage us and damage others. We can stop looking outward for the answers, and turn within to find the contentment and bliss we are looking for. Gone will be the days when penises were said to rule men, and women were said to be slaves to PMS. We will no longer blame Mother Nature for our indiscretions – we will follow in the footsteps of those who dedicated their lives to following their true selves!

Love Doesn’t Cost A Thing

So, what does any of this have to do with the rituals of dating like a rich person? When you finally see the answer, you’ll wonder how you never noticed it before, even though it’s always been there before your eyes. The secret to dating and mating like you’re rich is to accept the truth that you are a unique expression of the divine, and you are the most valuable possession you will ever have. Your true affection is neither bought nor sold with money or desperate acts. You do not have anything to prove in order to deserve love, or to give love. The only person you need to love is yourself, and then send yourself out there to collide with the person who is the right match for your gift of love! And best of all, this happy ending comes at no cost to you whatsoever. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Great relationships begin within! If you want a guide on how to start this wonderful, loving relationship with yourself, and how to start down the road to ultimate awareness and higher consciousness, get a copy of Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers today!

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You see, mama’s boys are not that way because their mothers smothered them. Men grow up to be mama’s boys because they missed out on an invitation from their fathers to enter the father’s sphere of influence in their teenage years. Now, having missed that invitation, the relationship with the mother is quite complex. Some do make mom the most important woman in their lives. Others grew up power struggling with their moms, turning into macho men and even bullies as a result of their confusion over their role in their mother’s and their father’s lives. How a man relates to both parents directly affects his relationship with his woman.

Another type of mama’s boy looks like the perfect man who is capable of being there for his wife and children. Except that he tends to smother his wife and kids! Even another type comes across as an insecure teenager, even when he’s in his forties or fifties, needing his woman to reaffirm his masculinity at every turn.

So, how do you handle an adult mama’s boy, no matter which type you are in a relationship with? Here are nine action steps that can make a difference.

9 Steps For Dealing With An Adult Mama’s Boy

1. Refrain from acting like his mother. This means treating him like a grown man who can take care of the details of his life without you intruding there. This is probably the most important piece of advice. It is also the one you can do the most with because it has to do with controlling your own behavior in order to create positive change outside yourself.

2. Stay out of the middle between him and either parent. Mama’s boys attract women who are willing to go to bat for them, let him handle those relationships.

3. Call forth his masculine greatness. When he takes action meant to provide for you, protect you, impress you, or turn you on – acknowledge it glowingly!

4. Don’t nag. Learn how to express your needs and desires as you would with a peer. Nagging demeans both the giver and receiver. And it aggravates the mama’s boy quality that aggravates you!

5. Recognize that you are part of the problem. He was attracted to you in the first place because of your “mothering” energy. Even if you think you are the opposite of his mother, does he hope you will “mother” him the way she never could?

6. Expect him to be your equal, your lover, your man. The expectation will determine your own behavior as well as call forth the best in him.

7. If he speaks to you in a needy tone, respond as if he didn’t. Don’t feed the little boy energy. Don’t respond in a tone that corrects his neediness. Simply respond neutrally or with a positive tone that ignores his implied need.

8. Remember that there are times when each of you needs to be able to be the weaker one in the relationship, depending on the other to be the strong shoulder. This isn’t about the mama’s boy struggle, it’s about depending on each other.

9. Remember, too, that for adults, sex is play. It’s where we get to revisit the childhood joy of just full out enjoying ourselves. As long as it isn’t a turn off, let each other’s inner child come out to play some when it comes to sex.

Understanding Mama’s Boys

Sitting down a mama’s boy to have a discussion about his personality and how it doesn’t work for you is the most ineffective way of handling the situation. It puts you in the role of mama to his little boy who just can’t get it quite right.

As a mama’s boy, his patterns of behavior and speech are not only deeply ingrained, he got stuck there as a kid because he loved his parents and tried to be who they needed him to be. No one realized they were messing with his future romantic happiness. He doesn’t need to be treated like a victim! He needs to be treated like a man.

I said the most important piece of advice was to refrain from acting like his mother. The second most important piece of advice is that you are a part of the problem. He was attracted to you for a reason. The loving and nurturing energy you carry is delightful for everyone, dangerous for the two of you. However, this is good news because you can do something about it without overtly trying to control or dominate him.

Pay attention to the variety of ways you pour mothering energy over him and determine which expressions of that are healthy and which get you into trouble. Then stop the ones that get you into trouble! For instance, if around the house he has a habit of calling out to you when he wants you; with you leaving whatever it is you’re doing to go to him to find out what he wants, stop it! Little boys can’t be bothered to get up and go find mom, they call her to them. A pleasant, “I can’t hear you!” hollered back at him will result in his getting up to find you.

Or if he wants you to get him a beer, try a pleasant, “I’m not coming that way anytime soon.” The assumption you make is that he is a grown man who can take care of himself. It reduces the power struggles that aggravate the mama’s boy stuff and makes your life together sweeter.

I’ve seen too much advice out there telling you to dump him. These guys are too large in number and their hearts are too big to give up on. Give these nine actions steps a chance – you’re both worth it!

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However, this sense of freedom is a bit of a Catch-22. No one is around to keep you on your toes. Yet these behaviors can stop possible mates from wanting to be around, keeping you on your toes. It is up to you to spot and fix these relationship-sabotaging behaviors.

Wild Child

No one expects (or wants!) you to be subdued on a Friday night at the bar. You can let loose and have fun. However, know the social limits. Every guy wants to be with that girl who will crack a joke, do a funny dance, and laugh too much. However, it is the rare man who wants to bring the drunk girl—the one flashing her bra and starting fights—home to meet his family. A woman will not look at the man groping the butts of random women and think, “I’m going to marry that guy someday.”

Pigpen

Your home is your own private area; but if you are not careful, it will ensure you never have to share it with anyone else. Say you’re on a date. You find yourself rounding the bases at light speed and you bring the date back home with you. If he or she walks in and sees piles of garbage on the coffee table or cockroaches eating the leftover food on your counter, it will be very difficult to feel passionate. Not only could it ruin your night…it could ruin your chances of this date becoming something more permanent.

Furthermore, your personal hygiene will be a big roadblock if it is not up to par. It’s easy to fall back on certain things, if you don’t have that somebody around to impress. Maybe you don’t shower as often as you could. Or maybe you only shave your legs in the summer (sound familiar?). Or maybe you don’t iron your wrinkly clothes. However, if you act as if you don’t love yourself, as if you’re not proud of your appearance, potential mates will notice.

Busy Bee

One of the best pieces of advice for people looking for love is to get involved and be busy. Being out and about, working on your hobbies is a great way to meet like-minded people. However, have you become so accustomed to filling your schedule that you are unable to free up time if necessary? If a person asks you out, but you must repeatedly reschedule or “take a rain check,” he or she will not wait around forever. Learn the art of downtime.

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You Go Out With Her More

It only makes sense that she will want to go out and have fun, maybe meet new men (especially if she was dumped and feeling particularly vulnerable). It only makes more sense that she will want you to come with her. She needs a wingman to help her, to cheer her up, to just be around her. However, this can be detrimental to your own relationship since you will be spending less time with your boyfriend, and more time in the company of different men, which can lead to problems. We all know relationships are fabulous. But sometimes single-hood seems more fun when you have been with the same person for a long time. To watch your friend flirt (and be flirted) with good-looking or charming strangers, you may start to wonder if you shouldn’t also be single again.

She Wants You To Be Single

You know what makes being single much better? When your friend is single too. Living it up at the bar and sharing sexy stories about strangers is only fun if you have someone by your side. However, if you cannot relate with or participate in her single life, it stops being quite so exciting for her. She may subconsciously (or maybe not…) start saying things or putting ideas into your head to make you second-guess your relationship. It is understandable that the newly single friend doesn’t want your boyfriend hanging around. Firstly, he may remind her of the relationship she just left (or of relationships altogether). Secondly, his presence may prevent other men from approaching her. Thirdly, she may just want some girl-time. However, this unintentional ultimatum, once again, may take more time away from your boyfriend, which can potentially hurt your relationship.

You Start Analyzing Your Own Relationship Problems

You may not think things are so bad with your own relationship until your friend talks about how similar issues ruined hers. Maybe she grew tired of her boyfriend working too much or maybe she just decided she could find someone better. Having those relationship problems highlighted may make you think, “Wait, I think my boyfriend works too much, also!” or “Maybe I can do better too…” The best thing you can do for your relationship during this time is to stay positive. Think about the things you appreciate or enjoy about your boyfriend. Focus on the reasons you like being in a relationship. Also, talk with your boyfriend about what went wrong with your friend’s relationship. Together, brainstorm ways to ensure this won’t happen to you two, as well.

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Question: I know this girl who I really like and I think she likes me too. She gives me these signs like laughing at everything I say, complementing me on my clothes, and smiling charmingly at me – but she only does it with me. Here’s the problem – she has a boyfriend and he treats her like shit. She’s like a pet to him, but I’m not the kind of guy who steals a girlfriend. I really like this girl though. What do I do?

–YouTube Viewer

Make Sure You’re Reading The Signals Correctly

One of the biggest misunderstandings between men and women is interpreting flirting and friendliness the wrong way. If you like someone, you may be all too eager to assume their polite smiles and friendly conversation means that they like you as more than friends. If someone who is already in a relationship is giving you these signals, make sure you’re interpreting them correctly before you make any kind of move. Make sure you’re not stuck in the “friend zone” and she’s not just using you to vent about her current relationship.

Relationships Aren’t Ownership

When we’re involved with someone, whether we’re dating or married, we tend to put these labels on our significant others as though we “own” them. Human beings can’t be “owned” by anyone though – we are free to spend our time with who we choose. If someone is in a relationship but wants to hang out with someone else and have a good time, they are perfectly within their right to do so. You are also free to spend time with them as well, regardless of their current relationship attachments. Although we are free to spend time with who we want at our own discretion, there can be consequences to those actions. Their partner may choose to end the relationship if they’re uncomfortable with the situation and they are, of course, free to do so as well. But remember that no one can “own” or “control” anyone else and force them not to spend time with someone or to stay in a relationship.

Follow Your Heart

When it comes to dating and relationships, it’s important that you follow your heart and you allow the person you’re interested in to do so as well. All may end well with a new, happier relationship but there is also the possibility that the other person’s heart leads them to stay in their current relationship for one reason or another. The most important thing here is to be true to yourself, and communicate your feelings honestly with the other person without being critical of them or their current relationship. What happens after that is anyone’s guess, but being true to yourself is an incredible feeling regardless of what happens later.

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Question: My buddy and I were talking the other day and came up with this random subject – why is it that all the jerks get the good looking girls, and the nice guys get left out? Personally, I was raised to be nice and a gentleman. I’m only a jerk to those who act like a jerk to me. I just want to know why the hell do the jerks get all the girls and the nice guys don’t?

–YouTube Viewer

Women Want A Confident Guy

Confident guys – often mistaken for jerks – usually get the girl. Why? Because he asks her out and he’s comfortable being around her. He doesn’t exude a meek or timid attitude. Instead, he is comfortable in his own skin and knows who he is – and comes off that way to women. “Nice guys” sometimes are too afraid or shy to ask a girl out or even go up to a girl and talk to her. This is not the type of guy that gets a girl! A woman will look right past this type of guy and go for the confident guy instead, regardless of how polite and gentlemanly the nice guy is.

Women Want A Strong Guy

When a woman goes on a date with a man, she doesn’t want to be asked, “Where would you like to go? What would you like to do? Is this okay with you?” They want a man who will say, “We’re going to go to dinner here and then I’m taking you to go see a movie.” They want a man who can make confident decisions on his own without her input, but in a nice way. This is where being a nice guy can come in handy – she doesn’t want a rude man who is going to boss her around! She wants someone who is polite and treats her well, but is strong enough to take the reins in the relationship when needed. Women who go out with a pushover will push him over and tire of him quickly.

Jerks Don’t Keep A Girl

It may seem that jerks get all the girls and lots of them, but there’s a different story that goes on behind the scenes. While a “jerk” might get a girl to go out with him because he appears strong and confident, it is very unlikely that he is going to keep her. She will realize soon enough that she isn’t being treated well and move on to a different relationship. The way to get a girl is to be a strong, confident man that is comfortable asking a woman out and being assertive in the relationship, but the way to keep her is to be a gentleman and treat her like the lady she is.

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Question: A few weeks ago, me and a good friend of mine setup to have a date. I have some affection towards her and I thought she felt the same way. Two days before our date, I confessed my love to her. On the day of the date, I called her up to see if she still wants to go; she didn’t pick up. Then the next day I called her to see if she still wants to go out today and she said “I don’t think that is a good idea.” So I get the idea and drop it. We still talk once in a while now, but not as much and intimate as before. But then last week, I asked her out to dinner and she came. I’m confused, what should I do?

–YouTube Viewer

Labeling The Relationship

Often, people who are dating are too quick to put a label on the “relationship” they have, and want to know where they stand when it comes to being with someone. This goes for both guys and girls though – it’s a common belief that women do this more than men, but it’s actually about equal between the sexes. Unfortunately, when one person in the relationship is pressing to define it, the other person gets scared and starts moving away emotionally. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t want to spend time with you or don’t like you, but it may mean that they just want to go slowly and let the relationship go where it needs to on its own.

Backtracking

If you’ve confessed your love to someone and they start giving you the slip, you may think you’ll never repair the damage that was done. That could be true, but not always. The thing to do now is to back off and let them take the lead. Don’t start calling all the time or continue to try to get them to go out with you. They may like you, but they may just need some time to air out. Take a few steps back and let them call you. Be polite and friendly when you see them, but let them make the moves. If you do want to ask them out, suggest going to a casual lunch or bowling. Whatever you do, make sure they don’t feel pressured in any way and they just might come around.

Letting A Relationship Develop On Its Own

When you start dating, it can be tempting to move along quite quickly, especially if you feel like you’re ready to settle down. Instead, try letting the relationship develop on its own. Don’t ask your partner where you stand or try to define the relationship, because often, it’s always changing. Just focus on enjoying being with the person you’re with and let the relationship move along at its own pace. Getting to stop and enjoy all stages of a budding relationship is like stopping and smelling the flowers - totally worth it.

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Question: Hi, I really like this girl and she likes me. The only problem is her parents won’t let her date or hang out with guys. It’s a secret between the two of us that we like each other so hanging in a group might not work. Any ideas?

–YouTube Viewer

Keeping It A Secret

Many teens are tempted to keep their romance with someone else a secret. They don’t want parents to find out they’re dating, so they hide the fact that they like each other from everyone. Keeping your romance a secret from everyone is a great way to make sure you really don’t get to spend very much time with the person that you like. Many parents allow teens to hang out together in a group, and that would allow you to spend more time with your partner instead of trying – usually unsuccessfully – to get some alone time. If your romance is a secret from your parents as well as your friends, consider letting your friends know so you can all hang out together as a group. Chances are, they’ll even let you sneak in a few minutes of quiet time with your partner here and there.

Don’t Get Stressed About Time

Teens whose parents don’t approve of dating can get easily frustrated at the amount of time that they get to spend with their partners. There’s really no reason to get stressed about it though, because dating in your teens is supposed to be fun, not super serious! A big reason for teenage breakups is the arguments that are caused by not getting enough time to spend with each other – not necessarily the lack of time itself. Relax and learn to enjoy the time you do get to spend with the person you like, instead of constantly stressing about how you’re not getting enough. You’ll find that instead of arguing with each other about how to get more time together, you’re actually spending time together and enjoying each other’s company – which of course, makes it all worthwhile!

You’ll Get More Time In The Future

As a relationship builds and you grow older, you and your partner are going to get more privileges. You may even get some dating privileges too! The best way to get dating privileges though is to keep your grades up, keep your room clean and pick up after yourself and generally prove to your parents that you are a responsible individual. They may not concede in a week, but if over time you prove to them that you are responsible enough to handle dating – and that it won’t interfere with school, sports or other extra-curricular activities – they might be willing to give you a little bit of leeway in that area. The same goes for your partner.

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Question: I have been out of a relationship now for 3-4 months and am over my ex – but I somehow I feel I owe something to her and should build a friendship again. I still feel awkward talking to her even though it’s small talk – any tips?

–YouTube Viewer

It’s Always Awkward

If you’ve just broken up with someone or have just been broken up with, the period directly following the breakup is always awkward. If you’re feeling as though things are strained between you and your ex and it just doesn’t feel right, join the club! Most people feel strange after a breakup, especially if they’re often around their ex. For example, if you and your ex work together or share many of the same friends, coming into constant contact with each other after the breakup can be just plain weird. It’s totally normal to feel awkward after a breakup and it can take some time for you and your partner to reach a totally platonic state.

You Don’t Owe Your Ex Anything

Many people leave a relationship feeling like they owe their ex something, especially if they’re the ones that did the breaking up. Even people who leave a relationship in the best possible way can feel bad about hurting the other person. Here’s the thing – you don’t owe your ex anything. Each person reserves the right to end a relationship if they feel it’s not working out in their best interests. It’s kind of like at will employment. Either party can terminate the relationship at any time for any reason of their choosing. Your ex may be hurt after the breakup, and things may be awkward, but don’t hold it against yourself. Staying with a person that you’re not happy with just because you don’t want to hurt them never works out. You deserve to be happy, so learn to let it go.

Time Heals Most Wounds

Even though the relationship with your ex is awkward now, time heals just about anything. You may feel pressured to have small talk with your ex now, or to try to force a friendship but it may be that you and your ex just aren’t ready for that yet. After a break up, most people need some time to think and process what happened in the relationship. If a friendship just isn’t there for you and your ex yet, time may be what you need to get there. Give yourself – and your ex – some time and space to sort out what happened. If you or your ex are very emotional after the break up – for example, if you two were in a long term relationship – you will each need some time to sort through how you feel about the break up. Just relax and let time do its thing.

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Question: I need help because I like this girl, so I asked my friends how to approach her about going out and they told me to just go up to her and be nice. I did exactly that but I think I must have been too nice and friendly because now she thinks I’m gay. How do I prove that I’m not to her and show her how I feel?

–YouTube Viewer

How She’s Using The Term “Gay”

While most people are beginning to realize that using the word “gay” as slander – like using the word “retarded” as slander – is just not appropriate, some people still loosely use the term “gay” in conversation and it has nothing to do with sexuality. Many people still use the word “gay” like they might use the word “lame” or “uncool,” in regular conversation. If your crush said that she thinks you’re gay, can you be sure that she meant homosexual? She may not have. Consider the possibility that she’s just not into you and used the term “gay” as slander.

Making A Choice

In this situation, you have a decision to make. You can either ask her out or let it go. If you let it go, you’ll never know what she really meant. But by letting it go, you can avoid any further hurt feelings. You can also choose to simply ask her out. It’s entirely possible that she’ll say no – whether she truly believes you’re homosexual or just thinks you’re lame – but you’ll never know for sure unless you ask her out. She may really believe that you are gay, and may be pleasantly surprised to find out that you aren’t. However, if she turns you down for whatever reason, it’s ok. Continue dating and move on to the next girl that catches your eye and do your best to make a good impression on her. Regardless of the possible outcome and how much each one may intimidate you, it’s important not to sit on making a decision and never choose to either ask her out or let it go. Waiting too long to make a decision because you’re too scared to choose isn’t going to get you anywhere!

Making The Best Impression

When you want to make the best impression on a girl, it’s important to be yourself and let your true personality shine through. Not everyone may like it, and some people might think you’re gay, straight, bisexual or make some other assumption about you, you will feel much better in the long run if you’ve stayed true to yourself. You’ll also end up finding a partner who is into the real y0u, and not somebody you’re pretending to be!

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Question: I went on a date this guy who has been flirting with me for about a month and a half. He put his arm around me, we held hands, and we were cheek to cheek. I really like him, and I thought the date went well. But I guess he didn’t because he’s only talked to me a couple times since then, but not like he used to. Why is he doing this? What do I do?

–YouTube Viewer

Was There Chemistry On His Part?

Sometimes during a first date, one person feels lots of chemistry but the other may not. Even if you and your date end up holding hands, hugging or even kissing good night, this doesn’t mean that the chemistry is there for him. Often, physical things such as hand holding happen on a date just because it seems natural to do – it’s not a good indicator of whether both parties are really into each other or not. If your date isn’t calling you back or avoiding you all together, he may not just have had that chemistry with you and that’s ok. Sometimes it’s just not there.

He Wants To Avoid The Situation

It may be hard for a guy or girl to admit that although the first date seemed to go really well, that they just didn’t click with you. Often, they’ll just try to avoid the situation all together such as avoiding calling or talking to you. This can be incredibly frustrating though, and leave you wondering just what exactly you did wrong to deserve being given the cold shoulder. Don’t take it personally! It’s unlikely that you actually did something wrong during the date or upset them in some way – it’s more probable that your date is avoiding you because they’re afraid to tell you that the chemistry just wasn’t there.

If You Want To Know, Ask

If you want to know if you really did do something during the first date that pushed them away, or if you want to know if it just didn’t click for them, just ask! It may seem intimidating, but it doesn’t have to be. There’s nothing wrong with casually asking what happened. Tell your date that you just don’t want it to be weird and it would be better if it were out in the open. If they didn’t have that chemistry with you, that’s fine. You can be friends if they want, or nothing at all. But there is nothing wrong with simply asking them what is going on because you deserve to know! It doesn’t have to be complicated if you don’t make it complicated.

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Question: My best friend’s girlfriend has feelings for me, and my best friend knows it but he still loves her anyway. I fear that her liking me is destroying their relationship because they are fighting all the time. I don’t want them to break up because of me, because they make the perfect couple. I need your help – what should I do?

–YouTube Viewer

What Can You Do?

Unfortunately, there is not a single thing you can do about how someone feels about you. You can’t change or stop their feelings, so if she likes you and has feelings for you, there’s nothing you can do to change that. So ask yourself these questions – Are you egging it on? Are you flirting with her and leading her to believe there is something going on between you? Or are you simply just aware that she has feelings for you? Everyone enjoys flirting, and it can be fun when someone likes you, even if you don’t plan on taking it any further than flirting. But in this instance, flirting back with her can be detrimental, no matter if you want to start a relationship with her or not.

It’s Time For A Sit Down

Everyone in this situation needs to have a sit down, heart to heart talk. Everything needs to get out in the open, because feelings that are closeted can only make a situation worse. Sit down with your friends at home, in a comfortable and familiar environment that is not in public. Don’t have this conversation over dinner in a public place! Have a few drinks to relax if you will, but anyone that has too many at this point is simply a ticking time bomb. Let everyone have a chance to speak here, because everyone is involved. Listen to your friend and his girlfriend, and keep an open mind.

Two Choices To Make

If you return your best friend’s girlfriends feelings, it makes the situation a bit more complicated. Both you her have a choice to make in this situation. Each of you must choose the relationship you value the most, and begin to pursue only that relationship. If you value the relationship with your best friend more than you wish to pursue a relationship with his girl, it’s important that you keep her out of your life as much as possible. If you want to try your hand at having a relationship with the girl, it’s time to say goodbye to your best friend. Unfortunately, in this situation, you can’t have your cake and eat it too. There’s no way you can pursue a relationship with her, nor can she pursue a relationship with you, without losing your best friend. Take some time to think about what really matters to you here and what you feel is the most important, because you might need to make a sacrifice that will change your life.

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