Ask Dan and Jennifer » dating sites

How To Create An Online Dating Strategy That Works

Dave M. — Sat, 11 Feb 2012 17:00:09 +0000

Online dating can be fruitful if you have a plan that actually will garner you success. Here’s what you’ve been doing wrong – and how to do it RIGHT!

Create A Swipe File Of Emails To Test

I can’t stress enough how important this exercise is. First, come up with your own emails, each one different from the others. Aside from the e-mails you wrote yourself, go back to the “girl” proﬁle you set up and see what your competition is doing. When you get to the dating site, you can test every email to ﬁnd out which emails get the best response.

This way, you won’t spend too much time writing hundreds of different kinds of e-mails when you’re there. You can tweak and re-tweak the e-mails for sending to different girls, or to the same girl (using different accounts).

Soon, you will start noticing patterns; not only in the way your emails get received by the girls you send them to, but also in the personality type of girls who reply in a certain way. After this, you will know exactly how to handle an email correspondence based on your tests and personal experience with the women you met.

Why Testing Is Important

Just like when people who own a website test ad spots and promotions to see what works best, you need to test your email correspondences in the same way. Testing allows you to completely weed out what doesn’t work and keep and use what DOES work.

This is a must have plan if you really want to succeed. If you simply continue to send out emails that you don’t know are successful or not, it’s going to be hit or miss. By testing and eliminating the emails that don’t work, you’re going to be hitting a lot more often.

Choose A Dating Site That Attracts The Women You Want To Meet

Every online dating site has a certain “ambiance,” not unlike a new bar you’re visiting. Some dating sites have communities or chat rooms that give off a different vibe from the rest. What you need to remember is that not all dating sites will ﬁt your goal.

If you’re after a quick hook up and you read on the site that they’re in the business of making sure only serious-minded individuals (those who want to get hitched legally ASAP), consider yourself warned. On the other hand, if you’re looking for something deeper than a one night stand, feel out the site for a few days (or during the trial period) and observe how the women there build their proﬁles.

If you have an idea how to play the dating game on a matchmaking website, you will have a clearer vision of how you can tweak your testing plan.

So, are you ready? If you are, grab your ﬁshing rod and sign up for a dating site now!

Fatal Online Dating Mistakes That Can Cost You A Date

Romy Morgan — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 23:00:51 +0000

Online dating seems simple enough. You put a profile up, a few guys check it out and then you set up a meeting. As much as you would like to think that online dating is easy, there are several things that can turn a guy off very quickly. A lot of women do not realize that their pictures, profile text and usernames are so out of whack that no self-respecting guy would go near their profile.

If you are wondering why you haven’t received any emails over the last couple of weeks, you could be in the majority that has their profile set up incorrectly. Here are some fatal online dating mistakes that can cost you a date.

The Wrong Pictures

Sure, it’s great to have different pictures on your online dating profile that shows you have a ton of friends. The problem that most women have is that they put up pictures of them in nightclubs or pictures of them hanging all over other guys. Men are naturally jealous.

No matter how much confidence they have, there is still a tiny bit of insecurity embedded to resent a girl that has pictures of herself hanging all over guys. Replace the pictures of you with other guys so you have some that include you with family or enjoying your hobbies.

Being Generic

The profile is extremely important. Usually, women will just put up a few vague sentences and hope for the best. When you are dating online you want to give as much information as possible about your hobbies, what you’re looking for in a guy and what separates you from other girls on the site. If you look at other girl’s profiles you will see several common statements.

“I can enjoy a night on the couch watching a movie just as much as going out,” is one of the most frequently used statements online. Be specific about what you like to do in your free time. This insight will give you an edge over the competition.

The Wrong Username

Usernames are another pitfall that many women get into. The username that you choose is tricky. The username should not be anything that expresses weirdness or selfishness. Having a username like “princess102” is unacceptable.

You might think that you’re a princess, but guys are not going to be interested in a girl that thinks she is the center of the world. Most online dating websites will allow you to change your username for free, however, some will make you pay a small fee to change the username. Using variations on your name or a hobby as your username is a great way to avoid this mistake.

Relying Too Much On Pictures

Yes, most attraction begins on a physical level and there are guys out there that will simply email you because you’re hot. But you don’t want to rely on your pictures to get dates. Physical attraction is not enough to sustain a relationship. Establishing common interests and relationship needs is essential from the start.

You cannot establish this connection if you are simply relying on your pictures to get dates. If you are relying on your pictures you will probably not get the caliber of men that you really want. Guys that only look at the pictures posted by a girl are usually shallow and arrogant so keep this in mind when you’re creating your profile.

Responding To Every Single Message

Don’t respond to guys that you aren’t interested in just because they are emailing you. Online dating is not about finding the perfect guy, but it’s also not about taking sub-par dates. Just because a guy has expressed interest in you doesn’t mean that you’re obligated to go out with him. You’re not even obligated to respond to him. If you’re not interested in a guy, delete the message and forget about it. Never take a date from somebody whom you have nothing in common with.

Taking Too Long To Respond

When a guy emails you on an online dating site, you want to respond in a timely manner. If you’re interested in him then you can be sure that other girls are also interested. If he sends you a message, try to respond within 24 hours. If you do not respond quickly enough he could take it as a sign that you are not interested or that you are a flake.

The amount of time that you take in responding to a guy might indicate how you will be in a relationship. If you do not respond in a timely manner he could correlate this into how you will respond to phone calls or text messages. Make it a habit to log into your account once or twice a day to respond to emails.

Top 5 Reasons You Should Consider Online Dating

Chase Christopher — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 17:00:33 +0000

Online dating is beginning to be the biggest way of meeting single women. If you have been considering it, but just haven’t taken the plunge, it might be time to do so. It gives you a very cheap, and sometimes free, way of meeting a lot of women very quickly. Over the last couple of years, online dating has moved into the mainstream. Meeting women on the internet is no longer for social misfits and tons of “normal” people use online dating services.

1. Approach Anxiety

Online dating is the perfect solution for men who have approach anxiety. Approach anxiety can get the best of men. Walking up to a woman in a bar or nightclub can be nerve-racking. It gives men a way to avoid approach anxiety by simply sending a message through the service. It’s much easier to send a message through a service and take the rejection of never hearing from the girl than getting a fake number or being told point blank that they’re not interested. If you have approach anxiety with women, you should definitely consider online dating.

2. It’s Similar To Facebook

It’s kind of weird that we think online dating is for losers but we are addicted to Facebook. There are tons of people who have meet significant others through Facebook, so what’s the difference? On both platforms you upload pictures and basically outline your life. If you are an avid Facebook-er then why would you feel uncomfortable with online dating? Most people who have online dating profiles use their Facebook profile pictures on the dating site. Facebook also allows people to put their relationship status on the site. If you have a “Not In Relationship” status on your Facebook account then you kind of already have an online dating profile.

3. One Month Could Equal A Year

How many dates did you go on the last year? 2 or 3? By paying a small fee you could easily go on 10 dates in one month. Depending on your work schedule and how busy you are, you can arrange to go out with multiple women in the same week. This isn’t being a player; it’s just testing the waters. Sign up for a site and see how many women you can go out on a first date with in the first month. This will save you money on the next month’s subscription and will get you on the fast track of finding somebody that you really connect with.

4. Transparency

Have you ever met a girl, gone out on a few dates with her and then found out that she didn’t want the same things as you? It’s fairly safe to say that everybody has been through this. Whether you don’t want to date a smoker, want kids some day or never want to get married, online dating gives you the solution of transparency. Obviously you will need to vet the girls and get rid of any crazies, but getting a snapshot what your potential partner wants out of life can be an asset in finding somebody that you click with well. Using the filters provided by your online dating site can easily give you a list of matches in just a few seconds. This isn’t the case with dating in the real world and can save you a lot of time and money in the long run. You will no longer be spending money on women that will not work out in a long term relationship.

5. It’s Free To Try

All online dating sites allow you to sign up for free. Most online dating sites will allow you to see a small counter of how many people have looked at your profile. Sign up for different dating sites with the same kind of profile. Watch the counter to see how many women are looking at your profile. If you don’t want to spend money on multiple sites, subscribe with the site where you’re getting the most profile views. This will save you money and put you in touch with women that are interested in meeting you.

Online dating is becoming very popular with young professionals, parents and seniors. If you have been thinking about an online dating site, sign up for free and test it out. Remember that you aren’t a creep for using it and it doesn’t make you desperate. Nobody wants to spend their life alone and online dating could be the avenue that you’ve been waiting for.

A Woman’s Guide To Writing An Online Dating Profile

Romy Morgan — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 17:00:28 +0000

Online dating the perfect solution for a woman who leads a busy life or has just moved to a new area. If you’re tired of spending your evenings alone and you’re willing to take the plunge into online dating, you need a great profile. There are a lot of guys online that could be an excellent match for you. The problem is that most women do not know how to write an online dating profile that will grab the attention of a man who will treat them right. Online dating can be a lot of fun and can give you a long list of viable candidates. But you want the guys to be right for you. Here is a woman’s guide on how to write a great online dating profile.

The Site

It all begins with what site you want to use. Do you want to go with a paid site or do you want to go with a free site? Each of these has their advantages and you should consider both when dating online. If you think you can handle all of the responses, you can use both of these for finding dates. Paid sites will typically have a better clientele than free sites. A guy who is willing to pay a monthly fee to find a girl should be established. However, there are more guys on free sites. Once you have written your profile, you can just copy it for both sites. This will give you a broader base and more dates.

The Picture

Choosing a picture can seem like a big ordeal, but there are just a few things that you need to keep in mind. Your main profile picture should not be with anybody else. The last thing you want is a guy to click on your profile thinking that you are your friend. Use the site’s picture tools to crop out friends or choose a picture that doesn’t have anybody else in it. Never use a fake picture. If you’re not confident enough in yourself to put up a real online dating profile, don’t put one up at all.

Why Would He Want To Date You?

We’ve all seen the profiles that say “I like hanging out with friends, going to the beach and spending time with family.” All right! Enough already! Who doesn’t like spending time with their friends and family? What girl doesn’t like the beach? These are non-statements. It’s like saying I like blue skies and wooden wood. You want to separate yourself from the rest of the girls on the site. Be specific. Do you play tennis? Are you an avid mountain biker? These are the kinds of details that guys want to read about. This will also weed out the guys that you’re not compatible with.

Crucial Info

What would a guy know about you after the first couple of dates? Would he know that you volunteer a local animal hospital or that you spend your time mentoring kids? There is a difference in online dating and reality dating. Online dating is all about comfort. You want a guy to think that he knows about 75% of your personality, interests and other aspects of your life just from the online dating profile. The more they know about you, the more you will to talk about when out on a date. In reality dating, you want to remain mysterious. Online dating is about putting yourself out there.

Deal-Breakers

Do you want to date a guy that is a couple inches taller than you? This is fine. Most women want a guy that is taller than them so they can wear heels. However, getting too picky about your deal-breakers can be a deal-breaker in itself. Saying that you don’t want to date a smoker or somebody that has kids is a preference that you might not want to budge on. This is okay. However, you don’t want to put that you only date guys with black hair and blue eyes that are only 6’3. Even if you do only want to date those guys, don’t put it on your profile. Just screen the guys that are emailing you. If you put this on your profile, the guys may think that you’re superficial.

Online dating can be a good way to meet new guys. But if your profile stinks or comes off as pretentious, you will be sitting at home on Friday nights snuggling with your DVR instead of a great guy. Follow these guidelines and wait for the dates to roll in.

Best Online Dating Tips Of 2011

Kaylen Jackson — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 15:24:35 +0000

Online dating can be an excellent way to meet new people – so check out our best suggestions of this year and make a goal to meet someone in 2012!

Don’t forget to take a look at some of our all-time favorite online dating articles! The tips and advice here will help you pimp your profile to the max so you get maximum exposure to the people you’re interested in, as well as teach you what to say and what to do when you find someone you really like. You won’t have success in online dating without these great suggestions!

We’ve also spent this year searching for great dating resources to help you up your game and meet more people than ever before. We want you to have the confidence and the know-how to approach someone you’re interested in, ask them out, get a number, wow them with an incredible first date and sweep them off their feet! Although these resources aren’t specifically for online dating, they contain the SECRETS to dating (online or otherwise) that every man should know – that is, if he ever wants to snag a date!

Pandora’s Box (THE definitive resource on ALL things dating – after this, you’ll be able to date ANY woman you want!)
300 Creative Dates (great for when you actually take your online romance into the real world – you’ll learn unique, inexpensive dates that will totally capture a woman’s heart! NO OTHER GUY has ever taken her on dates like these before!)

Online Dating: How To Create An Effective Username

Michelle Hemingway — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 23:00:16 +0000

Online dating can be hard if you don’t know where to start. A good screen name is the first step – use these online dating tips for a great first impression.

Choosing a screen name for an online dating site should not be a decision made lightly. It is one of the key elements to site experience and interaction with other members. It is the first thing a prospective date sees and what sets one member apart from another. The ability for a screen name to stick out among a list of other screen names may be the difference between love and…nothing.

Do Some Research First

Initial research should be done by members before choosing their screen name. If they look around a site, they will see for themselves which user names they find appealing. Many sites do not allow the use of vulgar or rude names. Many blogs and articles recommend that a user not vulgarity, rudeness, depression, or self-deprecating user names. This is not good advice for everyone. If a user has these qualities, and expects their possible dates to accept them, then they should include them.

The intended audience should also be kept in mind when choosing a user name. Users are marketing themselves and should keep in mind who they will attract with their user name. Putting too much emphasis on physical qualities may attract a shallow type of person.

Make a User Name That is Easy To Read

The effort of creating a great user name should be rewarded. This will not be the case if a viewer cannot easily read it. 95% of computer users scan web pages. Those same people scan lists. The best way to make a name readable is by clearly defining each word through the use of capital letters or underscores.

Make It Easy to Pronounce

There is a direct relationship between being able to pronounce a word and being able to remember it.

Make It Short

SweetGirl is much easier to read than ThisIsTheLongestUsernameEver, even though the words are distinct in both. The first is the easiest to pick out when scanning a list and the easiest to remember.

Make It Memorable (No Numbers!)

Numbers should never, ever be used in a dating web site user name. Humans are more able to successfully remember names than numbers. They are also less likely to mix them up than the letters in a word. The opportunity for love could be missed if a prospective date mistakenly remembered SweetGirl101 instead of SweetGirl110.

Make It Descriptive

Include a hobby or interest: Common interests and hobbies are often the foundation of a relationship. If a member has a certain passion for something, it should be included in their user name. If the member really desires a prospective date to share their hobby or interest, the member should include specific, more technical elements or terms associated with that hobby or interest. A sporting fan could use vocabulary from their sport. A reader may use certain terms or characters from literature.

Use It To Describe Yourself

A member should include a descriptive word about themselves. This should be a quality that they have and they are proud of. It may be that they are romantic, humorous, honest, etc.

Make Your Gender Clear

Many chat rooms or instant message systems within dating sites do not have pictures accompanying the user names. Sexual orientation does not matter here. No matter what gender someone is attracted to, they need to know that the member is that gender. Being able to put a gender specific face or voice to written words is helpful in creating any kind of relationship.

Make It Unique

Feel free to add a twist to your screen name. This may include using an easily translated foreign word or a few symbols. Only one or two symbols should be used. They are easier to remember than numbers, but not as easy to remember as words. Create a name that leaves room for questions. Using easily translated foreign words is a good way to do this. While the meaning of the word should be obvious, a viewer may ask what language it is as an ice breaker.

A user name is a first impression. It is the first thing a viewer will see and the quality that a future partner will likely expect you to keep. Choose carefully.

Online Dating Sites – How Do They Work?

Michelle Hemingway — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 21:00:08 +0000

Online dating sites have made meeting potential mates a lot easier, but it can be difficult to learn your way around. Here’s how online dating sites REALLY work!Dating has become much easier thanks to the invention of the Internet. Before then, people were limited on where they could meet potential dates by physical means. You would have to find dates through physical interaction, such as through friends or by meeting each other at places where both of you frequent. Many people would find dates through work, school or another regular activity.

What Online Dating Sites Are For

However, when online dating sites began appearing on the Internet, things were made a lot easier for people who may not have the time or social skills to meet a potential significant other. These sites allow people to find other singles that have the same interests as them, some of whom they may have never had the chance to meet any other way. While you may think that online dating is for lonely people or computer nerds, this is a common misconception. More people every day are using the Internet to find love and this is nothing that you should be embarrassed by, as it is a logical and convenient way to find love using technological advancements.

How They Work

Online dating sites work similar to social networking sites like Facebook or MySpace, in the sense that to start using them, you must register for the site and create a profile for yourself. Most dating web sites allow you to create a profile for free, but you may be restricted on what activities you can perform with a free profile. Once you have registered, you can begin adding information to your profile, such as a description of your personality, physical characteristics, interests, hobbies and other information that a potential date will be looking for when browsing the site. Make sure that this information is as accurate as possible, as you may find that your online dates will stop responding to you if they find that you are not what you described.

Your Profile Picture

Once you have finished adding text information about yourself, you can upload a profile picture. Some sites will require you have to a picture before you can begin finding dates, but it is always a good idea to include a picture or even several pictures on your online dating profile. This way, other users know exactly what to expect from your physical characters and can make sure they are attracted to you before making the commitment for a date. This may sound shallow, but physical attraction is a key component to healthy relationship.

Browsing

After this information is complete, you can begin browsing the site for other users who meet your criteria for someone you would like to begin dating. While it is always best to look for users who are within the area where you live, you can even find potential matches that live farther away, if you do not mind the idea of having a long distance relationship with someone. Online dating sites will usually allow you to set how far away a potential date can live from where you located, showing all of the users who are within a certain radius of your zip code.

Some sites even help you out in the process of finding a date by providing a series of questions or surveys that will help gauge how compatible you are with other users on the site. If you and another user who shares the characteristics you are looking for both answer these questions in similar ways, you will be determined as compatible and recommended to each other. There are also other ways to go about doing this, depending on the site. For example, you may be asked to rate other users based on their profiles. If you rate a user highly and they rate you highly, the site will send both of you messages recommending that you contact each other.

Congrats, You’ve Found Someone!

When you find a user on an online dating site that you want to get to know, you can start sending them messages. Again, whether or not you will be able to contact a potential match on online dating sites varies from site-to-site. Some sites will allow you to communicate through the messaging or chat service on their site, but you will not have access to their contact information.

After communicating with a potential date on the site, you can then mutually decide whether or not you would like to take your friendship to the next level and meet for a real-life or “offline” date. It is always best to have your first date in a public setting, such as a restaurant, coffee shop or museum, as having a date in your home or their home could become very awkward. Once you have met in person, you can then decide whether or not to continue your dating relationship. If it doesn’t work out, you can always try contacting another user!

Online Dating: How To Choose The Right Site

Michelle Hemingway — Mon, 24 Oct 2011 23:00:42 +0000

Online dating doesn’t have to be difficult with these simple recommendations on selecting the right dating website for you! We are entering the glory days of a revolution, virtual love abounds and is just a mouse click or two away. The requirements are simple, easy. A good photograph will do and, of course, an unabashed heart that works. (Even if it is “bashed,” don’t worry. Anticipation will warm it up, and lots of blushing!)

How To Choose An Online Dating Site

How does one choose an online date site? There are really too many out there, a handsome, or rather, pretty variety primed right for every kind of yearning, lost or, just unengaged heart. What’s more, there’s a high – probably, even “huge” – success rate. This is because this “new thing,” online dating, has certainly become the acceptable thing.

It’s a way of avoiding the lonely, barely-lit confines of the corner bar stool and stepping into the light of what one may say could be immediate gratification. It’s a way of not having to close one’s eyes on the first few minutes of a blind date set up by a cousin. You can be “blind” or unseen on your computer screen for awhile as you “see” various photos of possibilities.

Whereas in the past there was auntie the matchmaker, there was some high school friend of your brother or sister, their next door cube mate at work.

Online Dating Is The New Black

But let’s face it. Online dating has become acceptable. Around the world it has become a convenient norm. It is amusing, really, quite amazing how far human relations – personal relations – have become primed and acceptable – normalized – via wireless, the Internet. All you have to do is figure out what category you want to be in, what kinds of relationships you want to attract and what kinds you want to stay away from. You decide the age, gender, race, religion and, of course, the income level. Then you click the button.

What online site should you use? That depends on whether you want to go “standard” or whether you are merely surfing and just checking out what’s out there.

Standard Dating Sites – The Ones You’ve Heard Of

The standard sites are enthusiastically advertised. You know them. You have heard about them. Any search engine will bear you the top five or ten popular online dating sites. You have seen wonderful faces of great story-telling unions. Fact is, some of these stories are true.

The standard sites have various monthly fees. But they have specials and discounts, too. If you place your name on their email lists, you will probably get a free offering on some popular holiday weekend. In general, the fees are reasonable, and it’s a good idea to try one for a month. See how it works out.

Free Dating Websites

There are a bunch of free dating sites. Place an asterisk beside the word “free” in your online search and you will come up with lots of selections. Whether you want to limit yourself to a certain location is up to you. Perhaps it is good advice to put together an alternative email from one of the popular email sites and use it to register with the dating site. This is just in case you change your mind in mid-ship and just want to make sure entirely new islands are possible.

Or if you are feeling confident and are used to social networking – you have a daily addiction to virtual socializing – then you may as well avoid the different mask layers and use whatever email and identity you have. Either way, the most important step would be to prepare the profile that will locate and attract someone you may like and want to go out with.

Your Profile Is Important – Choose A Site That Lets You Pimp It Out!

The profile is serious stuff. You will tell your habits, things you enjoy, foods you love, sport teams, if there are any. Depending on the website, your profile will be as exacting as possible or just a mere sketch. Some of the sites are based on “assured” algorithms drawn from psychological studies. They guarantee, to an extent, that you will find the most attractive “other.” It all depends on the approach you bring to this project.

The point is that you want to have fun. You want to at least meet someone whom you can talk to a bit and find out, for yourself, if compatibility is possible. This is the main attraction of the online dating site. It is convenient and you don’t have to commit. It allows you some pretty good ways of checking out new people and you decide for yourself if you want to go any further or not.

How do you choose an online dating site? Take your time. Don’t jump in. Read the site’s material. Compare it with others. Make sure, in general, it matches some of your profile. Toss a coin if you want to. Understand that it’s no big deal if you don’t commit.

Then, jump in!

Top 5 Places To Meet A Great Guy

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 23:00:57 +0000

So you’re a girl and you’re prowling the dating scene. You want to find yourself a great guy, but where do you go? How do you find him without losing your mind?

What She Said:

The Gym
A Sports Bar
The Library
A Farmer’s Market
Through Friends

The Gym

The gym is a fun place to meet men. It instantly shows that you’re both into taking care of yourselves physically – and being physically fit usually leads to a healthier frame of mind. A gym membership also gives you the opportunity to run into the guy you’re crushing on. Perhaps you’re in the same spin class or are hitting the treadmill at 6 PM everyday. It’s a great opportunity for flirting.

A Sports Bar

A bar might sound like a no go – but I find a sports bar to be a great place to gather socially. There’s a reason to be there, as well as a community spirit in watching a game. Most guys are sharing pitchers of beer instead of shots – not always the case, of course. But loosening up over a few brews is a little more civilized than tequila shooters. This is you looking for a mate – not Spring Break. Much like the gym, frequenting your local sports hangout during football season gives you reason to run into your crush again and again.

The Library

I’m a fan of a guy with smarts – thus the library is a favorite haunt when on the hunt. In this day and age of endless media, Kindle and iPads it’s nice to share camaraderie with someone who still appreciates holding literature in his hands.

A Farmer’s Market

A Farmer’s Market is usually held on the same day of the week during the season – which, once again, provides the opportunity to seek out your gentleman crush on a regular basis. Plus all that organic produce is good for you!

Through Friends

While the set up via friends can be rife with complications, it’s also been known to create love matches as well. Besides, it’s free – unlike an online dating service, which doesn’t come with friend-approved references. Ultimately, the best way to meet a great guy is to be a great gal. Be happy with who you are and the right guy will most likely gravitate towards you. Don’t be afraid to take chances in the meantime!

What He Said:

Let me start out with where NOT to find a guy: through your friends. Yes, yes, I know. Jenna recommended it, but for my money, finding a mate through a friend is like borrowing money from (or loaning money to) a family member: it always ends badly. It’s best not to add that dimension to your relationship. That being said, the top five places to meet a guy are:

The Gym
Hardware/Grocery Stores
Classes
Online Dating Sites
Sports Bars

Gyms & Sports Bars

The gym and sports bars are by their definition, sausagefests. Yes, I know women go to the gym, but they take classes more than they work out. Dress like as hot as possible in the most flattering workout clothes you can find, and your set. Sports bars are even easier. Just get yourself a jersey and the tightest jeans you can (they should make your butt look ah-mazing), grab a beer and wait. Men will be all over you.

Hardware/Grocery Stores

Home Depot and other home improvement stores are great to meet guys. You don’t see many women there, and if they are there they are with their mates. Go in and look clueless and ask a hot guy for help. The same goes for any store, really. Grocery stores, anywhere. Just ask a guy for help and you’re good.

Classes

Classes are a great place to meet guys. Figure out what kind of guy you want and figure out what he might be interested in and take a class in that and you will have an organic reason to talk to each other and you might even get put into a study group!

Online Dating Sites

Online dating sites are great! I know, I know. There are a lot of creepy guys out there, but the odds on most online dating sites work in your favor. You just put up a profile and pick and choose who you want to meet.

Trust me, if you consistently put yourself out there, you will find someone! Enjoy the process!

5 “Hacks” Online Dating Websites Are Terrified You’ll Find Out

Vin DiCarlo — Sun, 06 Mar 2011 23:00:56 +0000

Between you and me, online dating is a hoax.

No, I don’t mean you can’t meet ladies online. In fact, you can meet so many girls online, you can have a full time sex life without ever leaving your house! I mean the companies who own online dating sites have a dirty secret: They’d like you to fail over and over again. Because they want to make sure you are frustrated, so they can bill your credit card.

In this article, you’ll discover 5 “hacks” you can use to dramatically increase your success in online dating. You’ll find out how they’re trying to keep you down. And you’ll discover how to show online dating sites who’s boss:

The Perfect Profile Picture

Ever wonder what the perfect online dating profile picture is? Well, it’s not the 6-pack pic (studies show most females aren’t into guys with 6 packs, strangely enough). And it’s none of the pictures that show how rich or powerful you are. (They’re the worst kind of bragging)

INSTEAD, it’s a secret picture no sane man would ever think to use: The sleeping picture!

Here’s how you get it:

Have a friend take a picture of you while you’re sleeping
Then, add it in to your profile pictures (Not your main one, try making it picture three or four)
Watch your response to your messages shoot WAY up!

(It’s the quickest way to show your vulnerable side)

Why the online dating sites are hiding it from you:

I’ve got to give the online dating sites a break on this one – they actually have no clue. In fact, I discovered this secret a few years ago, myself. And I kept it to myself, until I decided to “retire” from online dating. So I guess technically I’ve been hiding it from you. Oops. However, those online dating sites don’t get off the hook!

They bombard you with pictures where girls fall for jacked, rich guys. In this case, they’re lying to you. Even though their research tells them the truth! (I stole the six pack study from a Match.com result)

Where To Find Smart, Sexy Chicks

Ever wonder where the ladies with brains AND beauty are hiding? Hint: You’ll never find them if you look through profiles. You’re going to get “booby blinded” and veer off course. The truth is, it’s impossible to tell whether a woman has a good personality or not when you look at her profile. Because she probably rewrote and edited it four or five times.

Turns out, most online dating sites have a section where men and ladies share their opinions about dating, sex and relationships. And these “forums” can be goldmines when you want to meet girls. In fact, just looking through posts can tell you loads about the woman who wrote them. (You may even find a woman you really like – a woman with a good head on her shoulders, and a pretty, curvy body to boot)

Why the online dating sites are hiding it from you:

In this case, it’s your own damn fault. Because survey after survey tells dating sites that forums are “nerdy,” so dating sites don’t promote them hard. Most dating sites don’t even link to their forums. You might have to dig through a few links to find these magical places.

So how can you cruise for smart, sexy chicks without looking like a nerd? It’s easy:

You find her profile on the forums
Then you send her a message “out of the blue,” like you stumbled across her profile in the search menu.
You reap the benefits of the forums without the social risk of posting on them. Genius!

(And for the record, I’m a total nerd. You can be nerdy and proud and still meet girls. You just want to keep your nerdy side in check until she’s falling for you. Then it’s cute, instead of nerdy.)

They’re Sabotaging Your First Message

A major feature on most online dating sites allows you to send a woman a “gift,” along with your message. They tell you this gift makes females respond to messages better. In fact, most sites give you a message format to follow.

They’re WRONG!

Do the exact opposite of what they recommend: Never include any “bribe” for reading your message, and keep your message short and to the point. Tell her, “Hey, I saw your profile and had to message you. Here’s why…” and then tell her what you liked about her and her profile. Finally, ask her a question so she can message you back.

Being honest like this works better than most online dating website’s template messages. (I’ll explain why in a later section)

Why the online dating website are hiding it from you:

It’s in their best interest. You see, most “gifts” cost something. Sometimes it’s a certain amount of “points” you get from being on their site. Sometimes it’s real, live cash money. Either way, these sites make money when you send gifts. Sometimes it’s your money and sometimes it’s advertising money.

Most Websites Hire Dozens Of “Fake” Women

Ever notice that six gorgeous girls with big breasts are just WAITING for you at whateversite.com? And they live right in your area, too! Lucky you, lucky you! Truth is, these ladies are called “plants.” Bigger dating sites use “Geolocation Tracking” to figure out which city you live in. Then, they’ll show you stock pictures and tell you these girls are waiting for

It’s a lie!

Instead of joining a website you haven’t seen for yourself:

Try a website like bugmenot.com
Use a trial password account
And check out the girls there, for yourself
Only join if you see girls you like.

Why the online dating sites are hiding it from you:

Cold hard cash, baby.

They assume men want to meet HOT ladies online. We don’t surf online dating sites to meet average looking girls. So, to get you to sign up, they put “plants” in their ads. Even worse – most sites employ a few hundred “plant profiles.” Fake profiles with fake pics, designed to make you message them. They think once you send your first message, you can’t quit.

So if you don’t get a message back from that SUPER hot girl, you could have sent a bad message. Or you could have sent a message to a plant.

The Male/Female Ratio Secret

Think it’s some sort of cruel prank your messages never get returned? Even by girls who are average looking at best? Well the dating sites don’t tell you: The ratio of ladies to men is something like 1 woman for every 4 men. Why is this ratio so screwed up? Because a hot woman can meet men wherever she goes.

In fact, dozens of men approach HER for dates. So you’ll see less girls online dating than men. This means every woman is getting four times as many messages as her profile “deserves.” This makes your message “just one of a hundred.” Instead of something special or unique. To make her read your message, you gotta use some hacks: Make your messages look personal, and don’t hit on her right away.

Try using the subjectline: “Hey, noticed something about u…” Then use the message you learned in hack three.

Why the dating sites are hiding it from you:

Would you sign up for an online dating website if they told you “We have four times as many men as females!” Nope. Didn’t think so. You now have the tools to make online dating much, much easier. I can hear you thinking: “If only there were a way to “hack” real life dating, as well.”

Q&A: Online Dating – Can You Fall In Love Without Meeting?

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 09 May 2010 14:00:04 +0000

There are a lot of questions when it comes to online dating, but very few answers as online dating is still new, uncharted territory for many people. Can you fall in love online, or do you need to meet them first? How can you stay safe if you do end up meeting them in person? Here’s what you need to know about love and online dating.

Question: Hi Dan & Jenn, I have an online dating question. I signed up for a dating website last week and a man, two years older than me from California e-mailed me a day later. We’ve been e-mailing each other constantly and texting/talking ever since, and he’s just told me that he wishes to be with me until he grows old- he even mentioned flying me to California whenever I wish to visit. The problem is, is it possible for a man who’s never officially met me to develop such strong feelings for me so quickly? I’m honestly really baffled by this.

–YouTube Viewer

Possible But Not Probable

While theoretically it is possible to fall in love online without having met them first, but it’s definitely not probable. There are too many unknowns when it comes to a relationship with someone online to really say for sure if you love them or if they love you. You may really like them and even have strong feelings for them (or vice versa) but is it really love? If someone tells you they love you before you even meet them, take it with a grain of salt. Often, people are unable to accurately express strong feelings for someone and may just be using the word “love” because they don’t have any other way of explaining how they feel.

In Love With The Idea Of You

When using online dating sites, there are lots of things you and your partner don’t know about each other and it’s difficult to say you love someone without knowing these things. For example, your partner may know what your favorite color is and what you like to eat for dinner, but he doesn’t know how you smell or how your hand fits in his. He’s unaware of your mannerisms, how you move and how a hug or kiss from you feels. These are all essential components of a relationship that can’t be obtained over the Internet. Generally, when someone says they love you when they haven’t met you in person it means that they are in love with the “idea” of you. Their imagination has filled in all the blank spots, and naturally they are in love with that person. But that’s not the real you! The way you kiss or hold his hand may be completely different than the way he’s imagined it.

What To Do If You Do Meet

If you do decide to meet in person, it’s important to consider online dating safety first until you’ve met a few times and have gotten to know each other. Meet him in a public place during the day for a short amount of time. A half hour coffee is probably enough to get your feet wet and allow both of you to decide if you want to meet again. At first, pay your own way so you aren’t indebted to him in any way, and make sure a trusted friend knows where you are and when you plan to be back. Take it slow and get to know them before being alone with them.

Webcam Love Affair – Will It Work?

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 12:21:27 +0000

In the digital age, internet relationships and love affairs are becoming more and more common.

Dating websites are running rampant and the invention of webcams and microphones, you can have an almost face to face conversation with someone else.

Unfortunately, many of these internet relationships don’t work out. Whether it’s a long distance relationship with a previous partner or someone you met on the internet, without physical contact, your relationship may wane.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m in a long-distance relationship with a guy I’ve never met. I’ve seen him on webcam, but that’s all. I seem to have fallen for him and I love him very much. We used to talk all the time, but lately we haven’t talked at all. The past few weeks, I’ve said only a few things to him and one of those times I was angry at someone and complaining to him. We seem to fight all the time and I don’t know what I could do to fix it. We’ve tried all sorts of things, but nothing seems to work!

Please help us! –Keely

Why Internet Relationships Don’t Cut It

Humans crave physical contact. From the time that we’re born, our bodies crave to be touched. It’s not necessarily a sexual need, it’s more of a physical need. We crave intimacy and closeness with other people, even if it’s just a hug or cuddling on the couch in front of a movie. Webcam love affairs and internet relationships are obviously lacking this very critical component.

If being apart from your partner is temporary, subsisting on webcam and phone communication is often enough to get you through until you are able to be together again. However, if your internet relationship is simply that, it can be difficult if not downright impossible to get the physical contact and intimacy you need from your partner to keep the relationship alive.

Online Introductions . . . Not Online Dating

Internet dating should be called internet introductions. It’s perfectly fine and actually quite helpful to introduce yourself to someone online through an internet dating website, because it helps you find the person that you think best fits your personality. Often, after a period of time communicating online and possibly over the phone, you can meet your partner in person and begin building a real life relationship.

Many people, however, forget to do that last part and confine the relationship to the internet only. This is a critical mistake that can cost you the relationship. An internet relationship isn’t enough to keep you and your partner satisfied, especially if it’s someone you met online.

If you really like your new partner, make an effort to meet them in person and try building a relationship with them.

Relationships are hard work.

It probably comes as no surprise that real life relationships are hard work. It takes a variety of skills such as listening skills, body language skills and interpersonal skills to make a relationship successful. If you get discouraged, it can be tempting to confine a relationship online for fear of getting rejected in real life.

This is no way to have a relationship! Take your time and have confidence in yourself to find someone that you like and that you can have a real relationship with. If you meet someone worthwhile, take the next step and meet them. If it doesn’t work out, take the time to find someone who you are more compatible with.

Dating and having real life relationships is a series of trial and error. If it doesn’t work out with someone, try dating someone else. You can also mix it up a little bit. Search online dating websites for matches while you also keep an eye out in real life for people you think you’d like to date as well. With some effort and a good attitude, you’ll find someone with whom you are compatible with and enjoy spending time and being intimate with!

Attract the Right Person to Your Online Dating Profile With a Great Headline

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 28 Feb 2007 15:54:54 +0000

It’s deceptively simple to sign up to an online dating site, but creating a profile that attracts the right kind of person to you can be a little tricky.

Does it seem like no matter what you do, the wrong people keep contacting you?

Does it really matter what you put in all of those little interest and hobby fields?

The answer is yes – sometimes.

What you say in your headline and in the details, and how you say it, can make all the difference.

The Question

Do a person’s hobbies attract a certain type of person? Do online daters even look at the hobbies and interest sections of your profile?

I have a problem with dating online. I spend a bunch of time making my profile “ME”. I let my potential daters know exactly what I am about, but I still get interested people that have nothing in common with me. I’m tired stressing that some of my hobbies are my life. They are who I am. In my case it’s playing my instruments and making records. My thoughts were that the ladies would see how much I stress those facts. I always get interest from ladies I have no interest in. This may sound crazy, but I can’t like someone that is into pop music and I like rock. How do a stress, even more, that I am my interest and I am not interested in any other type of lady?

The Answer

It can be very frustrating when the wrong people keep responding to your online profile. You can use your headline to ‘qualify’ potential matches from beginning and further narrow it down in your detailed description.

A Great Headline

A great headline should sum up who you are and what you’re looking for in one short and witty sentence.

In this example, some good headlines might be:

“Music is my life. Want to share my life?”

“Let’s make great music together”

“Wanna rock? Only serious music lovers need apply”

“Hard core rocker looking for groupie”

The Devil is in the Details

My grandmother always said that the devil is in the details and I’ve always found that to be true. The details of your online profile should really identify what you’re all about and what you’re looking for in a relationship…

If there are certain types of people that you are absolutely not interested in, say it in your profile but try to keep it positive. If you don’t like pop music, you might say something like.

“Music is my life. To me there is only one great genre of music – ROCK. If you love rock music as much as I do, let’s meet. I do apologize, but if you like POP music, I’m not going to be a good match for you. Yes, I recognize how extreme this must sound, but making great rock music truly is my life and I’m looking for someone who can appreciate this lifestyle as much as I do. Are you the groupie that I’m searching for?”

As for all of those extra check boxes for hobbies and interests… I feel that those are less important unless the website has a matching algorithm that sends you potential matches based on your specific interests and hobbies. If that’s the case, make sure you fill out all of those fields so that you’ll get the best matches.

Some People Just Won’t Get It

Unfortunately, there are some people in this world who will never read the instructions no matter how clear you make them. For those people, you’ll just have to politely excuse yourself and move on to the next profile on your list.

You don’t want to get too harsh in your profile, or you may drive away just the girl you’re looking for. Do make sure that you ask potential daters what kind of music they like and whether or not they would enjoy your lifestyle during your initial communications with them. That will at least save you a little time weeding through the one’s you’re not interested in…

Understanding the Law of Attraction

There is one other incredibly powerful tool that can help you in your search for the perfect match. It’s called the Law of Attraction. A really quick exercise that will help you find just the right person for you is to write down on a piece of paper exactly what you’re looking for in a partner. Try to focus more on how you feel when you’re with this person and less on their physical appearance. Having said that, if you love redheads, write that down too.

Imagine your perfect partner in every detail… (write it down)

Then, every night before your go to sleep, close you eyes and visualize, or imagine being with this person for at least 5 – 10 minutes. Really get into it. What are you doing together? How do you feel when you’re together? What do you hear? What do you smell?

This will get your message out to the Universe. Now it’s your job to act on any hunches, gut feelings, or intuitions that you get over the next few weeks. If you get a weird urge to stop by a store that you’ve never been in – do it. If you have a weird idea to go to a museum – do it. You never know who you might meet while following you intuition.

True love may be just around the corner…

Dating Advice for Men from PerfectMatch

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 23:32:46 +0000

Per Marc Brooks at Online Personals Watch, PerfectMatch is announcing something special for their members… to help them actually meet and keep that special person.

They’ve teamed up with BeBetterGuys to bring their male members dating advice.

Looks like PerfectMatch is balancing out their iVillage partnership with this addition.

It’s really great to see online dating sites going the extra mile and adding help and advice for singles, instead of just offering a plain ‘people shopping search engine’.

It’s a win-win for everyone: PefectMatch members, the dating site, and the advice site.

I think we’ll see more of the paid dating sites implementing features like this to really help their members be more successful. That’s the best way they have to compete with the ever growing number of free dating sites, like PlentyOfFish.com, popping up every day – better and more member focused features.

Mark Brooks – Online Personals Watch

BeBetterGuys brings its expertise in men’s fashion, grooming, dating, and etiquette directly to Perfectmatch’s four million members. The BeBetterGuys "Game Plan" provides a nuts-and-bolts how-to approach guide to help Perfectmatch’s male membership prepare for, and enjoy, a more successful in-person experience. Perfectmatch has partnerships with MSNBC, Lifetime Television, iVillage, Knight Ridder, Go.com, Warner Bros., Paramount and NBC Universal Studios. The newest book written by Dr. Pepper Schwartz, "Finding Your Perfect Match" (Penguin), appears in bookstores nationwide.

Full Article at PR Newswire.

Top 10 Online Dating Services Compared at ReviewPlace.com

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 18 Jan 2007 15:56:51 +0000

Review place is an excellent resource when you’re comparing everything from dating sites, to credit card offers, to diet programs. It is one of the best Review Sites on the web and covers many diverse categories.

For each review category, ReviewPlace offers a listing of the top-rated products according to the experts. They begin by looking for the best reviews, both on and off the Internet, and then rank them according to how well they identify the category’s best products.

There’s a lot of junk out there on the Internet. But if you know where to look, if you know how to filter out the good information from the bad, you will also find there are nuggets of priceless information you can learn from and use to be truly successful in life or with your own business.

The goal of ReviewPlace is to help you find this valuable information. Don’t waste hours doing your own Google searches. They’ve done all of the work for you.

Make sure to check out the following categories:

Dating & Personals Reviews

Marriage & Relationship Site Reviews

Online Detective Reviews

People Search Service Reviews

Psychic & Horoscope Reviews

We were lucky enough to have them review our Online Dating eBook – and they even gave us a good review .

Read the Review for "Online Dating – Finding Love Online"

Calling All Animal Lovers… Dan and Jennifer Team Up With DateMyPet.com

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 17:58:00 +0000

We’re really excited to tell you this…

We’ve just teamed up with DateMyPet.com to get the latest dating and relationship tips and advice to their members. Spreading the good word!

If you haven’t heard of DateMyPet.com yet, you’re missing out.

They’ve been featured by The Today Show, Good Morning America, MSNBC, the LA Times, the San Francisco Chronicle, and many other major traditional media outlets – and that’s just in 2006.

They’re a great example of a niche online dating site, for animal lovers like us.

In fact, DateMyPet.com was a major point of discussion in our revealing interview with Heather Vale for the soon to be released Online Dating Confessions ePackage where we reveal everything we’ve learned from our online dating business over the last three years. Stay tuned. You won’t want to miss this.

Have an awesome day!
Dan & Jennifer

P.S. If you love animals like we do, don’t forget to check out DateMyPet now.

______________________________________
Ask Dan and Jennifer
Authors, Coaches, and Online Dating Insiders
www.AskDanAndJennifer.com

Match.com Learns a Few Tricks from MySpace and Facebook…

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 08:52:00 +0000

The big online dating sites haven’t changed much over the last few years. But that’s beginning to change…

Match.com is finally taking a page from the social networking playbook and adding "communities" or interest groups, much like MySpace and Facebook have done.

Instead of just plain searching, you can now browse all kinds of communities or "interest groups", from state and major cities, to religion, politics, smoking, etc.

MySpace has done some amazing things for getting people together based on their interests – it’s great to see the online dating sites going that same direction.

If you still haven’t tried Match.com, this could be a great time to take them up on their 3-day free trial. Give it a try.

Have a great day!
Dan & Jennifer

______________________________________
Ask Dan and Jennifer
Authors, Coaches, and Online Dating Insiders
www.AskDanAndJennifer.com

Seems MySpace and Friendster Aren’t Just For Your Kids Anymore…

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 08:17:00 +0000

Ok, so we all got used to thinking about MySpace and Friendster as online hangouts for the college and younger crowd.

But something’s changed…

These amazingly popular social networking sites seem to have absorbed a large segment of the grown-up population.

According to Comscore, the nice folks who bring us website stats, the age of the average MySpace user is – get this – between 35 and 54.

“MySpace.com has the broadest appeal across age ranges, Facebook.com has created a niche among the college crowd, Friendster.com attracts a higher percentage of adults, and Xanga.com is most popular among younger teens. There is a misconception that social networking is the exclusive domain of teenagers, but this analysis confirms that the appeal of social networking sites is far broader.”

You can get down and dirty details from the ComScore press release here:
http://www.comscore.com/press/release.asp?press=1019

So, we’re not talking mostly college kids, but rather a majority of people who are over 35. Go figure.

Of course, there’s been a lot of back and forth between the "in the know" and the "wanna be in the know" people (a.k.a. "experts") on this for the last week or so.

The truth is probably somewhere in between, but the bottom line remains – MySpace isn’t just for your kids anymore.

Don’t be shy – leave a comment on this post and tell us what you think.

Have a great day!
Dan & Jennifer

______________________________________
Ask Dan and Jennifer
Authors, Coaches, and Online Dating Insiders
www.AskDanAndJennifer.com

ReviewPlace.com gives “Online Dating – Finding Love Online” 5 stars!!!

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 25 Aug 2006 11:49:00 +0000

Review Place recently awarded a five-star rating to ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online,’ an e-book that teaches the art of online dating.

‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’ literally offers the insider’s track…

The e-book’s authors, Dan and Jennifer, actually founded a successful online dating site. As a consolidation of their vast experience, ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’ helps lonely hearts find their match online. The e-book walks the reader through the ins and outs of online dating, from writing an attention-grabbing profile to crafting winning emails and responses. The reader learns how to avoid being disappointed by recognizing warning signs and weeding out scammers. ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’ even provides help for handling that first date!

"In our quest to help our members become more successful, we have personally reviewed tens of thousands of profiles," said Dan and Jennifer, authors of ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’, "Our book contains the top strategies and tactics that ensure success in online dating."

" ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’ is a valuable resource for anyone who subscribes to online dating services or frequents online communities," said Andy West, the Press Relations representative for Review Place. "With Dan and Jennifer’s extensive research on proven online dating techniques and strategies, this e-book is sure to help readers find what they are looking for. It’s no surprise our reviewers gave ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’ a top rating."

One of the leading consumer-driven online communities, Review Place provides reviews on thousands of products and services. Review Place categories include home based businesses, employment services, relationship advice and many more. The site is dedicated to saving you time and money by providing quality information on the issues that impact your life. To see the complete list of categories, visit http://www.reviewplace.com/.

To find out more about ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’ and other related services, including descriptions, testimonials, and product reviews, please visit Review Place’s Dating Tips & Advice category by copying and pasting this link into your browser: www.reviewplace.com/cat-88-OnlineDating–dating-tips-advice.html.

Online Dating Tips – I See Someone I Like – Now What?

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 20 Aug 2006 16:37:00 +0000

So, you’ve signed up to a couple of dating sites and have actually found a few people you’d like to get to know better… maybe even date. What do you do now?

Well, you can put up your profile and wait for someone to contact you, but you’ll probably get much better results if you take the initiative. When you find someone interesting and feel the urge to say “Hey”, don’t be bashful! That person may just love to hear from you. After all, they created a profile, just like you, in hopes of meeting someone. You definitely won’t know unless you contact them and find out.

Ladies, don’t be shy – men love to be pursued!

How do you initiate contact?

The most common ways to contact someone is with an email, an instant message, or a ‘wink’.

I recommend saving the instant messaging until you’ve exchanged a few emails because it gives you more time to think about what you are going to say and to get a feel for the other person. Once you get more familiar with each other, then you can start chatting.

If you don’t have a paid membership, you’ll most likely be limited to using ‘winks’ or ‘smiles’ or something similar. These are canned messages that will say something like “Nancy is interested in you” or “Joe winked at you”. Winks and smiles are a quick way to say hello but drastically limit your ability to pique someone’s interest. This puts a lot of pressure on having a terrific profile because it will have to do all of your talking for you.

Email is best in the beginning.

Emailing a potential date is a lot like flirting. The purpose of the first email is to get them to respond, to open a dialogue. You want to get their interest but leave it open ended so that they will respond back to you. Keep your emails short and charming. Another tip: don’t send a barrage of emails to one person, follow their pace and try to keep up. (If they send 4 a week, you send 4 or so a week.)

So How Do You Write That First Email?

When replying to personal ads, try to be, well, personable. Write at least a paragraph or two about yourself and what you like about them or their personal ad. Many of the principles of profile writing apply to email, such as staying positive, being honest, and paying close attention to spelling and grammar.

Meeting someone online is very exciting and can make you feel like a love struck teenager, but do your best not to sound like one. Most of us are looking for someone that is a little more mature, someone that has potential for being a lifetime partner. When you first start communicating with a person, there is nothing wrong with flirtation, being happy, and laughing, but make sure it’s not over the top. Also, don’t start by pouring out your soul, telling him or her all about your ex-spouse or ex-significant other. Avoid talking about personal things such as financial problems, health issues, or stories about your dysfunctional family. This is a huge turnoff, and an excellent way to scare someone away. Save that kind of talk for your Thursday night poker game or day at the hairdresser. If you are a single parent, a little bit of conversation about your kids is fine to break the ice and find common ground, but remember you are trying to build a romantic connection, so keep it too a minimum.

Always be honest!

If the relationship moves forward, the truth will come out eventually. It’s far better to be yourself up front rather than tell a silly lie in the beginning, only to be found out and have a potential relationship fall apart.

Keep it positive!

The last thing anyone wants is to send a message to someone and in the response, hear all about their past failed relationships, health problems, or financial woes. You can share the doom and gloom after you get to know each other a little bit. Or better yet, just put all that stuff behind you and move on. There’s no time like the present to start fresh!

Compliment something you found interesting in their profile.

This is where it’s important to read the person’s profile. It gives you things to talk about. For example, if you are a woman and you find a man interesting and he has Labrador dogs just like you, you could say something like, “Hi. My name is Mary and I noticed in your profile that you have Labs. I do too!” From there, give a brief description of your dog, mention that you would enjoy hearing back, and sign off…

Avoid overtly sexual comments.

Don’t come on too strong at first with sexual innuendos and try not to comment on the person’s photo. Find something a little more ‘deep’ to comment on, maybe something they said in their description.

Find a way to continue the communication.

The main point of the first email is to get them to notice you and to respond back to you. Don’t give up too much information, but tell them enough to get them interested. You are trying to get a conversation going, so asking questions is a good idea, as long as you don’t ask too many.

Mention things you have in common, and ask a question or two about them.

For example, when you first start messaging with someone, you could ask, “Did you do anything fun this week?” “Do you have any great plans for the weekend?” This will help you learn more about the person without seeming nosey. After you have been communicating with someone special for a while, you can use innocent questions to see if you can find an opening in time when the two of you might meet.

Try to avoid long letters with little details that might be considered boring.

Keep it to the point, but try to let your personality shine through. Then, a good rule of thumb is “compliments and questions.” An earnest compliment on the person’s accomplishments, writing style, or life goals will say a lot.

Here are a couple of good, ice-breaking starter topics:

If you live in the same area, comment on the area, or something relating to it. If you don’t live in the same area, you can ask questions about where they are.
Music and movies are also a good conversation-starter; most everyone likes some kind of music or movie.
Maybe you went to the same college or better yet, a rival school. Poking fun at rival schools is always a fun way to break the ice.

And sign your real first name…

If you work this right, the person will contact you back. Remember, even if you get a response, you’ll have to keep their interest. In the emails that follow, keep asking questions and keep complimenting (while remaining honest and positive). When you feel comfortable, you can move on to more intimate forms of communication like instant messaging, the telephone, and eventually, meeting in person.

If a day goes by and you haven’t heard from them, rather than inundate the individual’s mailbox with messages, leave one short, sweet message that provides a small hint to prompt him or her to reply.

Remember…

Don’t give out your full name, personal email address, or phone number in this initial email; wait until you’re both interested and it’s apparent that it’s going somewhere.

Frustrated with Online Dating? Nobody Checkin’ You Out?

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 18:37:00 +0000

Are you sick and tired of nobody checking out your online dating profile? Feeling like it’s all a big scam? Is the joke on you?

You’re about to find out the one single biggest things that you can do to have good-looking singles begging to meet you…

If you want to meet someone online, there’s one thing that you’ll definitely want to do – post a good, recent, smiling photo of yourself. If you can post more than one, even better!

Why upload your photo?

A Picture Is Worth 1000 Emails. Statistics have consistently shown that profiles with photos get a minimum of 10 times more looks. Many (actually most) people only search for profiles with photos. (Admit it. You do it too.) That means that if you don’t have a photo, people are not going to look at your profile. You might as well delete it, close out you account on Match.com, and head to you favorite bar.

I understand that you may be a little afraid to post your picture on the internet , but it will be very difficult to meet anyone worthwhile online without one. Think about it…. Put yourself in someone else’s place. Would you contact someone without a photo? When you search, don’t you want to see people with pictures?

The old saying that a picture is worth a 1000 words still applies. Your age, height, and hobbies may sound cool, but is that enough to pay cold hard cash to contact you?

Even if someone does contact you, the first thing they’ll want to know is what you look like . Also, many people don’t really trust the internet and may feel that you’re hiding something if you don’t post a photo – like your spouse and kids. They may assume you’re cheating on your partner or even that you’re a criminal.

Your photo makes you ‘real’. It gives you an identity.

With online dating, your photo can create a spark or chemistry that mere words cannot. Remember, most dating sites charge money to communicate with someone, so making that step to contact you or to respond to your message involves a bit of commitment, and not having a picture is just one more reason not to do it.

Just like updating your profile frequently, posting a photo will often get you placed at the top of the search results – above members without photos .

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

One reason you might not post a photo is because you think you’re ugly, or fat, or unattractive in some way. First of all, you’re probably wrong. Don’t worry about how you look. You’ll have to show yourself eventually! Even the best looking people look ugly when they don’t smile. So smile! If you’re not conventionally attractive, a confident, genuine smile can only do you good.

There are lots of techniques to make sure your photo is the best it can be.

You can crop or otherwise enhance you photo to make sure that your best side shows through. Most digital cameras come with free software that will help you do basic photo editing. Even if you use a 35mm camera and take to the store for development, most film developers offer the option of a digital CD of your pictures.

Tips for Winning Photos

Use a recent photo . Even if you looked better when you were 20 pounds lighter and five years younger, the moment your date sees you in real life, they’ll realize that you have lied to them. Yes LIED! That’s how the other person will perceive it.

Use a good camera. Even though most cell phones these days take photos, they often turn out fuzzy or dim. If you don’t have a good camera, get creative. Ask a friend to take your picture or go to photographer and have a professional photo taken (Isn’t it worth it to invest in a professional photo if it brings you your dream partner?). Head shots are best – we want to see your face. Really!

Your picture should be fun, sexy, and interesting - not a mug shot and not pornographic either (unless you on an adult site, like AdultFriendFinder, that encourages that sort of photo). Many people, however, are turned off by overly sexy photos.

DON’T post a photo of you and your ex or a photo where your ex has been cut out or colored out. This implies that you have no pictures of yourself where there isn’t some other person attached to you. It also implies that people are disposable to you – not good!

Avoid posting photos with your kids. I know they’re important to you (I love mine unconditionally), but giving them too much prominence in your profile leads others to think you’re looking for a replacement dad or mom, rather than a partner for yourself. Mention them in the profile and then send pictures if your prospect expresses interest. Having said that, if you’re looking for a replacement mom or dad – be honest about that too and save yourself the grief and heartache later on.

Need A Professional Quality Digital Photo?

Here are two websites that will take your picture for you. I was amazed by what these guys can do and highly recommend them.

LookBetterOnline – Professional Internet Dating Photographers
DatingHeadshots – Internet Dating Headshots

Online Dating Question – How Can You Spot a Fake Online Profile?

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 04 Aug 2006 10:41:00 +0000

The Question

How do you know that the profile is for real and not something made up to get you to join the online dating site? I would get lots of emails from a dating site so I would join it, and then the emails just stop. What’s up with that? - Anonymous

The Honest Answer

To avoid online dating scams, your best bet is to stick with the major online dating sites that have been around for a few years and have a large member base. They won’t admit it, but I have personally seen some of the smaller or more obscure dating sites ‘pad’ the website with fake profiles and even go so far as to send a message to their members from this ‘fake’ person in the hopes of generating more activity on the site.

The larger, more well known dating sites have no reason to do this and generally have employees whose job it is to monitor new accounts and weed out the spammers and the scammers. The larger sites also have a public image to protect, which works in your favor. If you suspect someone of being a spammer or scammer, make sure that you report them immediately to the website’s support team.

Why do the messages stop after you join?

There are all kinds of reasons that a real person may not answer your messages and many of them have nothing to do with you personally. Maybe they got really busy, left town on vacation, or decided that online dating is just not their thing. The important thing here is not to get discouraged. There are lots more fish in the sea.

I would recommend trying to send a few messages over the course of a few weeks before deciding to give up entirely. And then, if you still don’t here anything, move on.

There are situations where the person messaging you could be a scammer trying to contact you for whatever reason. Those accounts are often found and terminated quickly on the major dating sites. So by the time you respond, the account may have been deleted.

You might also get a wink from a girl who’s not actually a paying member of that site. If you join to message her she may not be able to respond unless she pays… and she may not be willing to do that. If she’s not willing to pay to talk to you, then she’s not worth your time anyway. Move on to the next cute girl on your list.

Red flags. How can you know the real people from the scammers?

“Red flags” are defined as those little things that you can look for in a person’s profile that indicate the profile may be fake. Although there is really no way to know for sure if a profile is real or fake, there are some red flags that you should watch out for.

Here are some examples of what I mean when I say “red flags”…

• The person invites you to check him or her out at a different website. This could still be a real profile, but it could also be an invitation to sign up to a porn site.

• If a woman you have never met, sends you a message that is extremely forward and flirty, she might just be a porn model or cam girl trying to lure you to her site, or a prostitute trying to get clients.

• A really great looking guy or girl (we’re talking super model quality) sends you a message even though you haven’t even uploaded a photo or filled out your profile.

• The grammar in the profile is of very poor quality and sounds foreign. There are a lot a spammers, often from Russia and Nigeria (and many other places), that specifically target dating sites and other social network sites, such as MySpace and Friendster.

• If a person requests your personal information such as phone number, address, or any other type of personal or financial information, they may just be using the dating site to collect information to use for identity theft or some other fraudulent scam.

• If for any reason, the person or the message seems ‘to good to be true’, this should urge you be careful.

I’m not saying that you should never respond to messages that meet these criteria, but if you do, proceed with caution!

You’ll be fine if you just use common sense. Remember, online or not, real world rules still apply.

Online Dating Question – I’m a Good Catch. Are all the Women in My Area Stupid?

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 29 Jul 2006 14:06:00 +0000

The Question

I need someone to help me try to stand out. There is no one around here that can help me. That or the women in my area are stupid, because I AM A CATCH! - Phil in Illinois

The Honest Answer

We’ll respond to the last part of Phil’s question first and then tell you a few quick tips to really make your online profile stand out from all the other guys on any dating site.

Part 1: “…That or the women in my area are stupid, because I AM A CATCH!”

When you’re trying to appeal to another person , i.e. to attract that really cute girl, take a look at yourself from her perspective, and figure out what would be attractive and what is important to her. Take the time to write down all of your best qualities “from her perspective”. At that point it’s about her, not about you.

Maybe you’re coming across as a little too strong (read: arrogant). Many women like subtle confidence but not arrogance. You need to be sure of yourself without offending her.

Focus on your best qualities in your headline and online profile details. Also – and this is VERY important – remember that every person is a unique individual, with distinct preferences and tastes. What is a “great catch” to one person could be a turn off to another person, and vice versa. Be careful of assuming that other people perceive things the same way you do – that’s rarely the case and will often get you into trouble, especially with women.

Part 2: “I need someone to help me try to stand out…”

Here are some simple things that you can do to REALLY stand out among all of the other men on any dating site.

Upload a Quality Photo

We will continue to hammer on this one until every guy out there gets it! Most men do not upload their photo and the fact is that profiles with photos get 10 times more looks than those without. And get this, profiles with QUALITY photos get 4 times more looks than profiles with poor photos.

The key word here is QUALITY PHOTO. That’s where most men who do upload a photo really mess up. They upload a poor grainy photo, or worse yet, they upload a photo with their ex-girlfriend scribbled out. If you don’t like your photo, have a professional one made. There are many professional photo services that do nothing but create great photos for your online dating profile. This is the single biggest thing you can do to stand out!

Write a Catchy Headline

When it comes to writing an online profile, it is easy to make the mistake of not paying enough attention to your headline. Most people will click on a profile with a catchy headline just to see what the person has to say next.

The whole purpose of your headline is to get the other person to want to know more about you. Your headline should be something special about you, but still make them curious. You’re trying to get them to want to read more of your profile, so it helps to either ask a question that the reader might think will be answered in the profile, or try and establish a sense of mystery.

Have a well -written, intriguing profile

Writing about your self in paragraph form can be a very daunting task. What do I say? Where do I begin? Why are they making me do this? First, take a deep breath and relax. Taking the time to write a good profile will attract more compatible women to your profile and save you a lot of wasted time and energy in the end. There are some basic and simple rules that can make the process much easier.

Be yourself. Honesty is the Best Policy . Even though it may be tempting to fudge a little bit on your weight, your age, or your marital status, the best way to ensure that you will find the person that you are looking for is to BE HONEST!

Write like you speak. Be yourself. Sure, you’re trying to put your best foot forward, but you’re also trying to find someone who likes you for who you really are.

Target your market. Don’t talk “leather and whips” when your looking for true romance at eHarmony and in the same respect, don’t use words like “true love” when you are looking for a one-night stand at Adult Friend Finder.

Be specific. Avoid generalities. Use concrete examples from your life. Instead of saying “I like football,” you can say “I like watching the Dallas Cowboys on Monday night at my favorite sports bar. You can see how that says so much more about you. What things are most important to you in life? Is it health, career, family, fun, learning, religion, or personal development? The things you choose to prioritize say a lot about who you are; including them in your profile will attract the right type of woman to you and lead others away.

Don’t forget to spell check . Nothing is worse than reading a profile that starts with “maybe your the one for me” or something worse. (In case you didn’t catch that it should be ” you’re” instead of “your”.) Sure, we’re not all perfect, but that squiggly red line under half of your text is there for a reason.

The Top 10 Online Dating Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 16:34:00 +0000

Here are the top ten most common mistakes you should avoid when contacting women online.

The following will be the most important online dating tips and advice you’ll read all year…

Don’t forget to watch the short 1-2 minute videos - just click the “Watch the Video” link under each heading.

Mistake #1: Sending her ‘just’ a wink

Watch the Video

Most internet dating sites let you send “winks” or “show interest” for free.

But what does this say to her about you?

When that really hot girl gets your wink, she sees a guy that’s not serious about wanting to contact her and too cheap to fork over the $20 membership fee.

What a wonderful way to start off a relationship… Not!

She also knows that a wink is an easy “cop-out”. Anyone can scroll through hundreds of online profiles and wink at everything that moves.

So, from her perspective, why should she spend time on you when there are dozens of guys taking the time to send her real messages every day?

Mistake #2: Not having a recent QUALITY photo in your profile

This one should be easy, but the fact is, most men do not upload their photo. The statistics on this one are very clear. Profiles with photos get 10 times more looks than those without; and profiles with QUALITY photos get 4 times more than profiles with poor photos.

Let me ask you… When you log on to a dating site and search, don’t you search for women with photos in their profile first?

Why would she be any different?

Many women will assume that you have something to hide if you won’t post your photo – like maybe your wife…

If you don’t like your photo, have a professional one made. There are many professional photo services that do nothing but create great photos for your online dating profile.

If you want to stand a chance against the other guys out there, upload a good quality photo.

Oh, one more extremely important note – make sure that you upload a RECENT photo. Nothing is more disappointing than to meet someone and realize that the picture they sent you was 20 years and 40 pounds ago!…

Mistake #3: Sending a message with a boring subject

Watch the Video

Fact #1: Guys outnumber girls by at least two to one on most online dating sites and that’s a conservative number.

Fact #2: Good looking girls get dozens of winks and messages in any given day.

You can have the most awesome profile and you can send her the most intriguing message, but she may never see it.

How come?

Simple… Once again, women with good online profiles get lots of winks and messages every day.

Give her a reason to open your message first! It has to stand out among all the others, or it has a high chance of getting deleted and never read.

Spend just as much time crafting an intriguing subject line as you do in writing the rest of your message.

Ask her a question or specifically reference some detail in her profile so that she will know you actually read it and are truly interested in more than just her looks.

Mistake #4: Sending her a vague, generic or otherwise lame message

Watch the Video

So you took the effort to become a paying member of a dating site, and want to make the most of your membership. But then you came up with a standard boilerplate message, and you quickly copied and pasted it to dozens of girls.

Go you! At least that’s what you think…

Ok, reality check.

Women like to feel special and important. They can smell a lame form message a mile away, and the delete button is always close at hand.

So, why not take a different approach?

Actually read her entire profile (we know it’s painful, but do it anyway!), learn everything you can about her, and then send her an insightful, personal message.

Remember, you’re messaging her and she needs to feel that she is the only girl in the entire world that you are interested in.

Keep your messages fairly short and concise. Compliment or make reference to some thing or things you found interesting in her profile.

Then, conclude each message with a “clear call to action”. Always be friendly and polite, but tell her what you would like her to do next.

Don’t leave her wondering. An example is “talk to you soon” or “drop me a line”.

Mistake #5: Taking too long to respond to her message

Watch the Video

With all the buzz around the seduction and “pick up artist” community these days, many guys are afraid of scaring women away by appearing too eager or desperate.

So they get her message and then wait… and wait… and wonder when it’s “ok” to answer her.

Let’s clear this up.

Responding promptly is not a bad thing. It will likely help you stand out from the other dozen guys that messaged her today. Like most opportunities in life, you’re far better off striking while the iron’s hot.

Get over it and message her back. In fact, do it while she’s still logged on. Forget the “head games” and be yourself. Women are attracted to confident men who are comfortable in their own skin. Be yourself and you’ll be fine! …

Mistake #6: Asking for her personal information too soon

So you messaged this really great looking girl, and she responded with a basic “Hi” message. Now what?

You want her real email address, her phone number, her work number, or better yet her address so you can go there now, right?

Stop!

Asking her for ANY personal information in your first messages is a quick way to kill the relationship before it starts.

Think of two dogs approaching each other… what do they do? They approach slowly and cautiously, and proceed to sniff each other.

Why do they do this? They’re getting to know each other.

People are the same in many respects.

Don’t scare her off. Take it slow and let her get to know you before requesting personal information.

Mistake #7: Making sexual innuendos in your first message

Yes, she’s really hot and yes her profile seems flirty and sexual…

So you think it’s OK to be overtly sexual when you try to contact her, WRONG!

Unless you’re on AdultFriendFinder.com or other adult site, sexual innuendos are unlikely to help you.

They’ll most likely torpedo any chances you might have had with her.

So don’t do it.

Mistake #8: Sending her money or a credit card number

Yes, the ever popular Nigerian (or whatever country is in on it this month) money scam.

Social networking sites, including online dating sites, are plagued by scammers.

And guys you know are falling for it every day…

Remember, the whole “if it sounds too good to be true” idea still stands!

If your online profile is really bad, and all of a sudden a girl strangely resembling a supermodel emails you and promises to make all your dreams come true, take it slow.

And DO NOT send money or other financial information to make her come to you…

Mistake #9: Checking out her “really hot” nude photos on her personal website

The ever popular “cam girl” phenomenon is surprising scores of new men on a daily basis.

So, what’s a “cam girl?”

Well, let’s say you’re searching profiles on and run across this great looking girl. She looks friendly, approachable, and is wearing a highly suggestive outfit.

To make it better, her profile has a link to her “private website” where you can “see more of her”.

What luck! So you click on that link, and to your surprise, you have to “verify your age by providing a credit card number”. Hmmm.

If you want to browse an adult site, then proceed and enjoy. But recognize this for what it is – often a teenage high school male pretending to be a really hot girl in order to make money by sending happy surfers (read: you) to a pay-per-view adult site.

Mistake #10: Not knowing what you really want

The last blunder is actually by far the most important one…

Put simply, most guys use the shotgun approach to dating and hope to hit something, anything.

Then they wonder why they’re not happy with the women they meet.

Not exactly the best approach for the most important aspect of your life, is it?

Before you join ANY online dating site, take a step back and figure out exactly what you’re looking for… what type of woman do you really want to meet today?

That way you don’t waste you time messaging a really great looking ‘single mom’ when you know full well that you don’t want children.

If you are an outdoorsman, you probably don’t want to spend time messaging a woman that tells you in her profile that she is allergic to the sun. (Yet another reason to actually read her profile.)

It will be well worth your time to understand what you’re really looking for!

Revealing New Online Dating Book…

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 28 Jun 2006 16:30:00 +0000

If you have ever thought about trying online dating or if you are using online dating but having less than amazing results, this book is for you.

Don’t spend hours of wastedtime searching all over the internet trying to find out about online dating.

We have compiled everything, and I do mean everything that you need to know to meet your perfect partner online!

"Online Dating – Finding Love Online"

5 Proven Strategies for Success
and
The Top 5 Things You Should Never
Put In Your Profile

by Jennifer Hunt and Dan Baritchi

Go here to get it today!
http://www.online-dating-tips-and-guide.com

Ask Dan and Jennifer » dating sites

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