Ask Dan and Jennifer » dating

How Women REALLY Look At Men!

Michael Webb — Wed, 25 Jan 2012 21:00:24 +0000

Seduction is actually many different aspects of a puzzle, put together. Find out the truth about how girls view guys to up your seduction game!

She Does it So Fast!

It only takes seconds for her to evaluate your potential as a lover. Women revel in the world of first impressions and assign tremendous significance to what their guts tell them. “I just know,” she says.

It’s amazing how she thinks she’s got you all figured out just by observing how you walk, kiss or hold her hand. She notices everything, by the way, like how clean or dirty your shoes are, or how totally unorganized your closet is.

Men don’t have that gift (or curse). We’re more into the ‘big picture’ kind of stuff. How big are her breasts? How big is the storage space, how big is the engine? Clean shoes are always good, but for us, it’s not a make-or-break thing. As long as they fit and function as barrier between our stinking feet and the wet pavement, it’s all good!

Our bedmates are a little bit more complicated though – they’re crazy about details! Their senses are attuned to minutiae. Looking at things in angles and magnifications that we usually don’t go for. While guys fantasize of having a larger penis, women yearn for the little things – those tiny sexual tweakings that make a big difference.

Women Notice Details – So What?

Well, it’s really not so bad -UNTIL THEY START READING INTO THOSE DETAILS – no thanks to her ultra-active brain. Women give meaning to any minor thing we do and read volumes from the mundane.

So how does this figure into the sex?

Let’s just say your life would be much easier if women don’t read so much into your actions inside the bedroom. How you caress her for example, can be interpreted in uncanny ways. Simple things like a touch can brand you as a: lover, selfish self-centered bastard, groper, touchy-feely gay man, or Don Juan.

They evaluate the way you kiss and relate it to your personality. So you can be ‘gentle and sweet,’ ‘fast and furious’ or ‘so-so’ without even knowing it. They also notice if you’re licking clockwise or counterclockwise during oral sex, or if you really don’t know what the heck you’re doing down there and are just waiting to hit pay dirt.

For guys, these details, much less their interpretations, don’t make squat of a difference. As long as we get to score on those huge breasts tonight, we’re happy.

Symbolic Sex?

But sex has a glaring symbolic meaning for women. They’ll leave lame husbands and boyfriends for others who make love much better precisely because for them, sex is not just sex. Your actions reflect how you see her as a person, how you value her feelings and treasure her satisfaction.

Remember that your actions will not be taken at face value as sex will have ramifications outside the bedroom.

If you’re terrible and inconsiderate inside the love chambers, she will respond as a nasty, overbearing diva outside – which is a reality shared by many husbands everyday. At the same time, if you give her an amazing time, positive consequences will spill out – and her nagging just might stop.

For her, sex doesn’t exist in a vacuum, so watch out. Through all the meanings women attribute to details, they are able to deduce anything and everything.

So if you want your game tighter than 90% of the men out there, better start appreciating details. Notice the way you kiss or touch. Imagine how would that feel to her. Do that and be in a position to create a lot of these different details.

Why He Didn’t Call You Back

Chase Christopher — Mon, 12 Dec 2011 17:00:13 +0000

Dating tips can help the first date go without a hitch, but what do you do if the guy you like doesn’t phone back? What’s the deal?

It’s never easy when you meet a guy that you like and he doesn’t call you back. If you’ve gone out a few times and you haven’t heard from him a couple of days, it’s especially infuriating. This is an enigma that many women find themselves in. You were laughing, there weren’t any gaps in the conversation; you even left with a kiss. So what’s his problem? Many women make the mistake of actually calling the guy. Traditionally, men are the ones that should be vying for the woman’s attention. In this modern age, many women are taking the reins and trying to at least give it a mild effort to get together. But not all of the blame can be put on him. Sometimes you have to take a look inward. Here are the most common reasons that he didn’t call you back and why you shouldn’t call him.

Control

Control is a characteristic that not all men can handle. At even the slightest hint of a control issue, most men will walk away. If you insist on a restaurant or he sees you as anything other than warm and easygoing, he probably deleted your number right after the date. Being confident in yourself and knowing what you want is great quality to have, but some men are not turned on by it. In this specific case, it’s probably best to move onto the next one. If he wants to get in touch, he’ll call you.

Being Too Nice

Did you send him a thank you text after the date? While a lot of guys would appreciate this, some guys actually don’t like it. When some men are pursuing women, they like to be the chaser. When a girl concedes to liking him, he might lose interest. This is especially true with men that are in business or make a lot of money. They love the thrill of the chase and when that is gone, they are left with nothing –so to speak. There is a difference between being grateful and them perceiving you as desperate. Keep the thank you texts to a minimum. Words work a lot better than texts anyway. Say thank you right after the meal and then once again before you leave for the night. This will stick with them without coming off as desperation.

Blowing Up The Spot

How many texts or calls have you made in the last couple of days? How many of those were reciprocated? When you send a text and he takes a couple of hours to respond, he’s most likely busy or not interested. We live in a world where our phones have the ability to get online, purchase items and make the traditional call. For most of us, our phones are our lifelines. If you send him a text and he takes more than 6 hours to respond, you might not want to call him again. Wait for him to call or text you. Alternatively, responding to a text instantly can come off as desperation. If you haven’t heard from him a couple of days, give him a call to see how he’s doing. If he doesn’t call you back or responds to a call with a text, rest assured that he’s not putting you at the top of his priorities.

The Prima Donna

Were you rude to the waitress? Did you get hammered? Nice guys are not going to call you out on your actions if they don’t know you. They will just sit there and take it until the meal is over. They will say things like “I’ll call you” or “We should do this again,” but they have no intention of calling you ever again. Think about whether there was anything that you did on the date that would have turned him off. If you were the epitome of perfection, he might just be giving you a little distance to show that he’s not completely desperate. If you were a complete terror, learn from the experience and do it differently next time.

Exceptions

There are exceptions that must be considered. A death in the family, emergency at work or a busted pipe in his home are obviously appropriate reasons that he hasn’t called you back. But one thing that you must take into account is how many times these “emergencies” are occurring. If it’s truly a one-time thing, he probably feels bad and would like to make it up to you. If it’s happening frequently, he might be seeing a couple of girls at the same time. Gauge his excuses and make your own mind up of whether or not to give him a second chance.

He Doesn’t Want To “Label” Us – What Does That Mean?

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Sun, 11 Sep 2011 23:00:21 +0000

Good relationship advice would be to go with the flow and let things develop naturally. But what do you do if your S.O. refuses to talk about it?

What does it mean when a guy says he isn’t seeing anyone else but isn’t ‘a labels guy?”

What She Said:

I’m guessing it means he wants to have his cake and eat it too. As played out as that old adage is, there’s a reason it’s still around. Without labels, your guy is freed from defining the relationship while still reaping the benefits of your company. The question you have to ask yourself is: Are you having fun and, if so, why do you care what it’s called?

One thing that’s crucial in this equation is time. How long have you been seeing each other? If you’ve only been hanging out a few weeks (or even a few months), back off from trying to define the terms. No one likes to be pushed and you’ll never see a guy run faster than if you try to pin him down. Men are attracted to women who have a sense of independence; needing to give a name to something doesn’t always reflect that trait.

On the other hand, if it’s been a prolonged amount of time and everything (other than the title) points towards the two of you being serious and exclusive, you deserve to know. You have the right to this information, both sexually and emotionally. If you’re in a committed relationship (i.e. monogamous), you can explore options other than condoms. A “title” also gives you the go ahead to release your heart and invest in your companion emotionally.

Follow your instincts. If you feel enough time has passed, broach the subject. If he’s willing to happily give you an answer, proceed. If a significant amount of time has passed and he still hems and haws, pick up a copy of He’s Just Not That Into You. You’ll figure out the rest from there!

What He Said:

Well, he could be a player who is into dating them and letting them go. Or maybe he’s not ready for a serious relationship and is trying to give you realistic expectations of where he’s at. Or maybe you seem a bit clingy or that you’re moving too fast to soon, as least as far as he’s concerned, and he might want to put the brakes on.

Then again, who the hell cares what it means. How am I supposed to know anyway? What am I? Oprah? Seriously, it doesn’t really matter what it means, because clearly you have a problem with it. It’s not sitting right with you for whatever reason. You’re clearly having a gut reaction on this one. So why aren’t you going with it? Why are you asking two people you don’t know?

Ask him straight up. Don’t let him give you anything other than a straight answer. Let him know that whatever the answer is is okay, but you do want to know where he’s at, no bullshit. And you have to mean that. He may think it’s a trick, so assure him it’s not. It may take some prying, but you will get the answer out of him. Evaluate it, and either move forward or don’t.

4 Ways To Be An Amazing Boyfriend

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 14:00:49 +0000

A relationship requires effort from both partners. She’s putting it in, but are you? Are you really such a great boyfriend, or is she just hanging on to you until someone else comes along? Here are four ways you can make your relationship incredible, so your girl will want to be with YOU and only you.

Don’t Be A Boring Boyfriend

Girls want a guy who knows how to have fun. Don’t be boring – strive to plan fun, exciting things for you and your girl to go out and do. Don’t just sit at home on the couch eating take-out and watching movies or playing video games. While staying in and eating bad Chinese food in front of a DVD marathon is really fun every once in awhile, it’s not something she wants to do all the time.

Plan ways you can show her a great time, whether it’s taking her out to a new restaurant or club you’ve never been to before, or doing something really adventurous like rock climbing or horseback riding. Making her feel great by getting out and doing things (and showing her that you’re interested in doing things with her) is one of the best ways to prove that you’re a great partner – and not boring at all. Also, learn how to carry on a great conversation and engage your partner mentally. Women are so emotion and mind oriented that if you learn how to give her mental and emotional stimulation often, she will really love spending time with you no matter what you’re doing.

Be Someone That She Can Be Proud Of

Yes, there are many girls that will fall for a bum. But most of them won’t. If they do, you can pretty much bet that before long, she’s going to get tired of you and move on to someone else. Instead of letting that happen, be someone she can really be proud of. Be someone that she can tell her friends and family about. Be a motivated, confident, ambitious and energetic guy!

Have a job or other things going on in your life that she can tell other people about, such as a killer position at a popular company in your city, or volunteering as a firefighter for the local fire department. No matter what you choose to do, make sure you’re actually doing something and not nothing, and that it’s something your girl can brag a little about!

You also want to have things of your own that you’re doing that don’t always involve her. Have fun with your guy friends! Don’t be too clingy or suffocating, because if you are, your relationship won’t last long. Have things that you love and are passionate about in your life that don’t necessarily have anything to do with your girlfriend at all. Encourage her to go out and spend time with her girl friends and you do the same!

Value Your Time Together

Too many guys out there take their partners for granted when they’re in a relationship. They may rush through the dating process to have sex, or they may just get so comfortable with their partner that they take for granted any time spent with them. Don’t be that guy! Make sure that you take the dating process step by step, and enjoy each different phase of your relationship. When you’re on a date with your partner, make sure that you are fully present and that you’re engaging your partner in conversation. You want to be paying attention to her, not the game on the TV behind the bar or the cute waitress.

Also, show your partner that you really value her by making her feel sexy. Compliment the outfit she’s wearing and tell her that she’s beautiful. Take her on dates that allow her to dress up and do her hair, so she feels sexy and beautiful when she’s around you. If you’re always hanging around the house and she never gets the chance to get out of her sweatpants or put her makeup on, she’s not going to feel good about herself at all. When you touch her, tell her how soft her skin is or how nice her curves are against you. Make her feel like a million bucks!

Develop A Close Connection With Her

Don’t wall yourself off from your partner emotionally. Women speak the language of emotion, so if you’re a robot with her, she’s not going to be interested in you for long. Let your guard down some and make yourself a little vulnerable to her. Share how you’re feeling about her and about other things, and respond to the things she’s feeling when she tells you about them.

Work on developing a close connection with your partner and when you do achieve that level of emotional intimacy in your relationship, everything is going to be better. Sex is better when you’re really close with someone, and life is better in general when you have someone you can share those intimate details with.

Is My Woman Spilling Secrets About Our Relationship?

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 23:00:45 +0000

A relationship should be a private thing between two people. Your lips are sealed, but hers never stay shut! How do you handle a woman who’s an open book when you’re super private? how do you prevent her from talking about your naughty bits and other intimate details?

What She Said:

Well, it’s pretty simple – you can “find out” by asking her directly and you can “get her to stop” by requesting her to, respectfully, cut it out.

Just Ask!

It sounds like I’m being a smart ass, but it’s actually a fairly straightforward solution. You don’t want to be in a relationship where there’s a bunch of game playing going on. The phrase “finding out” makes it sound like you’re going to be snooping around on your mate. That doesn’t sit well with me and, my guess is, it probably won’t sit right with her either.

If your partner is, in fact, talking about everything in your relationship to her girlfriends, ask her to cease and desist. Keep in mind that everyone needs an outlet outside of their partners – her pals allow her to vent safely, which actually helps keep you off the hot seat. However, while friends are very important, they shouldn’t supersede your romantic connection.

It sounds like you’re worried private things in your relationship are being discussed, and that’s left you feeling vulnerable. That’s perfectly natural – no one likes the thought of his or her privacy being compromised. While your girl might need to spend an evening dishing with the gals over martinis, it’s perfectly reasonable to put some boundaries in place. This is out of respect for you and the health of your relationship.

Keep The Sex Talk Off Limits

There are some things that are off limits – even to girlfriends. I’d never divulge my husband’s confidences for some Happy Hour chatter – well, then or any other time. The size of his penis and our sex life is for us to share – not fodder for my gals. Acknowledge to your woman that you understand a woman needs her friends, but let her know subjects that would make you uncomfortable if other people knew. If you’re in a good relationship, your partner will respect your request and all should be well.

What He Said:

Yes, you should ask her and yes, your partner shouldn’t say certain things to her girlfriends, but the real question is how will you know?

So your partner says nothing is said about your penis and how you use it, or whatever else you don’t want her friends knowing. How do you know your partner won’t tell them?

You kind of have to just trust her. If your S.O. loves you, it shouldn’t be an issue. Your partner probably won’t be saying this stuff to her friends, but if your partner is, ask her to stop. Your S.O. should respect your boundaries and needs in a relationship. (Beware the girls who say they are “an open book” that means they blab their shit to everyone).

Just make sure to say things like “this is something that stays between us” or “don’t tell your friends about this” so your S.O. can’t come back and say “you never told me not to tell” cause women are crafty like that.

Seriously though, you should know the answer to this question. If you don’t trust her by now, why are you with her?

Do Women Expect Too Much From Men?

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 23:00:33 +0000

A relationship is about give and take, but many men think that in a relationship with a woman, they’re doing nothing but giving. Is that true?

What She Said

Umm, no. Granted, I am a woman and you haven’t given us much to go on with this question. In general, society still plays a large part in defining roles of gender and, thusly, behavior. It’s up to us as individuals to unravel what that means in our lives.

What IS Expected Of Men?

I assume you’re speaking from the vantage point of what’s wanted from men and dating, given the nature of our column. I acknowledge that men have certain pressures when it comes to relationships – the biggest sticking point with many guys being the assumption of who pays on dates. We’ve covered that several times here, but I’ll say it again – it’s not how much you spend, it’s the thought that counts. Being honest while living within your means will make for a happier relationship.

Every Woman Wants Different Things From A Man

Since I don’t have much to go on, I’ll tell you what I want from a guy – the same thing I expect from myself. Honesty, respect, communication, love and companionship all rate high on my list. Money, childcare, romance, how much time spent with the in-laws and who cleans the house are common issues. Every couple has different answers as far as these expectations go, but I’d assume the happiest relationships are where the balance of the responsibilities is relatively equal.

If He Feels Overwhelmed

If a man feels that too much is expected of him, he might want to take a look at two things – himself and the relationship he’s in. Expectations are just that – it’s up to you how (or if) you decide to fulfill them. It’s your life and resentment is a terrible waste. Don’t be a victim and assume you have to live up to someone else’s vision. Make your own rules and find a partner who believes in a similar way of life. You can’t control what others want from you (much less an entire gender), but you can control how you react.

What He Said

Do girls want too much from men? Hell yes! You want us to pay, you want us to be nice, but not too nice, you want us to love you for your mind as well as your body, you want us to put the seat down, you want us to want to do the dishes. You want a bad boy, but you want him to be monogamous, you want passion, you want consistency, you want him to have six pack abs, you want him to eat healthy, but not eat like a girl, you want him to last all night and fuck like a porn star, blah, blah, blah.

Is It Too Much?

That’s a lot to live up to. It used to be that girls were the ones burdened with all the unrealistic expectations that society heaped upon them in droves. Now men are getting our fair share. When did that happen? Where’s gender inequality when you need it? Men are starting to be as insecure as the ladies, if not more so, about sex and their bodies. That’s not right! That’s your problem. Not ours! Damn feminism. Damn you Gloria Stenheim!

Wait…what was I talking about?

How To Reinvent Yourself After A Breakup – And Get Her Back

Michael Webb — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 23:00:52 +0000

Breakup schmakeup – you’re over it! Or are you? Here’s how to create a new you after a nasty breakup – and get your girlfriend back!

You’ve broken up with your ex and are either single or with someone new, but you know you jumped back into the dating pool too soon. You realize this was a rebound knee-jerk reaction and what’s worse, you can’t get your ex out of your mind. You want her back and you want her back for good! Stick around because not only will I tell you how you can get her back, but how you can improve on your own life and self-image at the same time.

Learn To Live Your Life

We all know men and women are wired differently – “Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus right?” But what if you could rewire the inner you, both physically as well as emotionally! You can and whilst you may not wake up tomorrow a totally new person both physically and emotionally (believe me it doesn’t even happen overnight on those reality television shows), the first step in creating a new you to win her back is to START living the life you want to live and being the person you and SHE wants you to be.

It can’t be that difficult or too far a reach or disconnect or else she wouldn’t have dated you in the first place right? We are all primed from early childhood, allocated labels, “athletic,” “academic,” “artistic” etc., but often these labels are self-fulfilling prophecies that create our identity as opposed to shaping our own identity.

Explore A New You

Despite the fact that your breakup with your ex might have been the catalyst for your desire to change, self-actualization, or becoming more confident is part of life’s evolution. With evolution, your needs change, you acquire wisdom and experience and now you have reached a stage where you need to try something different.

You may want to explore a new career, move to a different location, explore other activities and behaviors. In fact, this could also be the reason your relationship with your ex back-fired. Neither of you were getting what you needed. Perhaps she felt unappreciated or bored, and perhaps you found excuses to be away from home. However, the breakup between the two of you is treating the symptom, not the cause.

Take Care Of Yourself

Take the next couple of days to make a list of all the positive and negative factors in your relationship but at the same time, look after your health by eating healthy, exercising and getting enough sleep. This time apart allows you to reassess your life, and your possible life together with your ex, objectively.

By the time you meet up with your ex she will already begin to see the ‘new emerging you’; and might possibly be inspired to join you. Whatever the situation, it is important to remember that you’re not stuck with who you were in the past. We often feel like who or what we aspire to be has to “make sense.” But we’re always growing, and taking a leap into a new life is exciting and even better with your ex by your side.

It starts off as small steps and it was Confucius who said: “A journey of a thousand miles starts with the first step,” and so to create a new you and a new relationship, it’s often the little things that are the first step.

Do Opposites Really Attract?

Andrew Wang — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 23:00:45 +0000

A relationship is based on many things, including having things in common. However, can people who don’t have things in common be attracted to each other?

It’s hard to think that “opposites attract” would have become such a common saying if there weren’t some truth in it. What does it really mean, though? Can you be total opposites in every way and still make for a perfect love match? Or do some opposites work together better than others? If you find yourself attracted to someone who seems really different from you, how can you tell if it will be more than a passing fling?

What Is So Different?

The first thing to address is exactly what’s so different about you and your new love interest. Maybe you like different types of music or different movies and TV shows. Perhaps you love to read fictional novels and your new partner only reads nonfiction. Maybe he or she doesn’t enjoy reading at all. Some people would worry that, without common hobbies or interests, you will run out of things to talk about early on in your relationship.

That’s not necessarily true, however. Perhaps you’re both open-minded types who are generally curious. In that case, you might end up learning about a lot of new things through your partner, and vice versa. Your differences may end up being the very things that keep you the most interested in each other.

How Far Do Your Opposite Qualities Go?

What if your opposite qualities go beyond things like hobbies, though? What if your very personalities are what make you opposites? Sometimes that can be a good thing. If you’re a big talker and your partner is more of an observer and listener, you may find that you’re extremely well matched. If one of you is more of a control freak and the other likes to go with the flow, the Type B person may be perfectly fine with letting the Type A one make all the decisions.

In fact, that pairing would probably be far less disastrous than getting two bossy Type A folks together. Other opposite pairings probably wouldn’t fair as well. If you’re a neat freak and your new boyfriend or girlfriend is a slob, it’s highly likely you’ll be experiencing problems the minute you start living together. If you’re a goody two shoes dating a bad boy or girl, it may seem fun for now. As things get more serious further down the line, however, you may find that his or her unwillingness to shape up is incredibly unattractive.

Breaking It Down Logically

The best way to figure out if your opposite qualities can meld to form a happy relationship is to think about them logically. Try to imagine your new significant other’s traits in someone who you don’t find sexually attractive. Would you want to be that person’s friend, or would you dislike spending time with them? If the latter is true, then the only reason you’re really into Mister or Miss Opposite is that you find them physically attractive.

Aging happens, and they might not be so hot several years from now. You don’t want to stick with someone who you won’t enjoy talking to once their looks fade. If you do think that you’d still want to hang out with them, then your opposite traits and interests are working in your favor. People often wonder how a staunch Republican and a lifelong Democrat can fall in love, but it happens.

Whether they’re both impressed by their mutual passion for politics, or they both get a kick out of debating each other, there are certain kinds of people who can make their differences work for them. If you’re one of those people, you just might find that your perfect love match is your polar opposite.

How To Talk To Women Without Freezing Up

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 14:00:53 +0000

Dating can be intimidating if you don’t know how to talk to women. Many guys get nervous or frustrated when they try to talk to women, because they’re just not sure what to say, how to act or what to do. Here’s what you can to do make sure you don’t clam up and make a fool out of yourself!

Relax!

The most important thing you can do when dating and talking to women is to relax and take everything in stride. When you start getting stressed out and worried about doing well or what she’ll think of you, everything will go downhill quickly. Give off an energy of being quiet, calm and confident. Relax and be fun to be around. Laugh at things around you that are funny and stay calm. Don’t allow yourself to get too nervous or worked up over dating, because if you do, you’ve already sealed your fate and you won’t do well at all.

Avoid Trying Too Hard

A lot of guys end up trying to hard when dating. They try too hard to be funny, but end up telling really lame or offensive jokes. Or, they may try too hard to be sexy or to turn a woman on, but they end up coming across as really overbearing, sexual or creepy. The best thing you can do is to avoid trying TOO hard. You definitely want to put your best foot forward, but this is where relaxing comes into play. You want to keep from trying to hard, because you’ll probably end up turning her off, big time.

Be Yourself

A girl is going to find out who you really are anyway once you start dating her, so why not just be yourself from the very get go? Along with trying too hard, a lot of men try to be the kind of guy they think a woman wants, but it usually ends up backfiring. While you definitely want to be the best you that there is, don’t pretend to like things you don’t like, do things you don’t do or dislike things you actually really enjoy. Be confident in who you are and put yourself out there. There are definitely going to be women who will appreciate that you took the risk to be honest and true to yourself.

Things To Talk About

Most guys worry about what to say when it comes to dating. They want specific things that they can discuss during a date so they never have a lull in the conversation or those awkward silences. While following where the conversation naturally leads is the best thing you can do, here are some things you can say (and things you need to avoid) to be successful.

Do you have anything in common? This can be movies, music, hobbies or whatever. Think about the things you like and ask her if she likes any of the same things.
Don’t talk too much about yourself. This can make you seem egotistical and self absorbed – which every woman hates. Make sure you ask her questions about herself too and genuinely listen to her answers.
Don’t complain about things. While you might be getting really crappy service at the restaurant you’re at, or you spilled on yourself and your car won’t start, it’s important that you laugh things off – especially on the first date. Don’t come off too pessimistic.

Focus On Her

Do you know how many times a girl has been on a date with a guy that won’t shut up about himself? Tons. So don’t be that guy. Instead, put the focus on her. Ask her questions (that aren’t too creepy) and be interested in the answers. What does she like to do for fun? What kind of music does she like or what kind of movies does she like to watch? What is she passionate about? What drives her? What is she proud of in her life? If you ask a woman about herself and are actually interested in what she has to say (and she will sense if you’re faking it) she’ll be smitten with you from the get go.

Don’t Be Afraid To Flirt

Girls love flirting – that’s all there is too it. Flirting can be so much fun for both the guy and the girl. Tease her, compliment her, touch her lightly on the arm or leg and get close to her. Laugh at things that are funny and give her a genuine smile with some smoldering eye contact. Witty banter is priceless when it comes to talking to women, but make sure you’re not teasing her too hard. Mixing up a little teasing with genuine compliments and good, engaging conversation is an excellent formula for flirting success.

Things To Remember

While you definitely want everything to develop on its own naturally, there are some things you want to keep in mind when you’re out dating and making friends with women:

You’re not “performing.” Relax and have fun!
Avoid pick up lines. Pick up lines almost never work.
Women are attracted to men that give off a fun, confident energy. Be that guy! People will start to flock to you (girls included) if you are fun to hang out with.
Don’t be afraid of pauses in the conversation. All conversations have natural pauses, especially if you’re having dinner – you definitely need to take a few minutes here and there to eat! Let the conversation develop naturally, without worrying about awkward silences. Pauses in the conversation actually create sexual tension – which is a very good thing!

Practice Makes Perfect

Like with anything, practice makes perfect when it comes to dating and having a conversation with a woman. If you struggle with being comfortable talking to women, practice doing it even with girls you’re not interested in dating. Go up to women on a daily basis and make an effort to strike up conversations with them. It may be difficult for you to do at first, but as you continue doing it, you’re going to become more and more comfortable with the concept of just approaching women and making conversation with them. This means that when the right girl finally does come along, you’re going to be well prepared for having a fun, successful conversation with her.

Dating Advice: Who Should Make the First Move?

Andrew Wang — Wed, 27 Apr 2011 23:00:36 +0000

In today’s dating world, long gone are the days of Sadie Hawkins dances. Now it’s as common for girls to ask out guys as it is the other way around. Yet some women still prefer to be pursued, and some men still prefer to be the pursuer. When you’ve met someone new and are interested in dating them, how can you tell which of you should make the first move? Observing their general behavior during your initial encounter can be very helpful, along with assessing just how comfortable you are being the asker.

Should She Ask Him Out?

If you’re the lady in the equation, it’s important to figure out what kind of guy you’re dealing with. If he’s a confident guy and is showing obvious interest in you, there’s a good chance he’ll do the asking. Of course, his big personality may attract lots of women, so he may be used to being hotly pursued.

If he seems like the life of the party, you can actually go either way. You can rest assured that he’s accustomed to women asking him out, so he won’t be bothered by you making the move. On the other hand, playing hard to get and making him do some of the work might actually pay off more for you. Men who are used to being chased after are often more intrigued by the women that make them do the chasing.

How To Do It

If you follow the latter option, make sure to flirt it up and make your affection for him just obvious enough that he knows you’re interested.Then sit back and wait for him to come to you. If you find yourself interested in a shy type, you’re most likely going to have to ask him out. This is especially true if you’re not shy yourself, as your overt confidence may be slightly intimidating to a shy guy. If you yourself are also shy or simply don’t believe in making the first move, take heart.

The best way to ask him out without really doing so is getting a friend to intervene. Have a mutual friend let him know that you’re interested in a seemingly uncontrived way. That should be all the confidence boosting he’ll need to make a move on you.

Should He Ask Her Out?

What if you’re the guy in the scenario? Guys can always feel comfortable with making the first move. Even if the woman you ask is used to asking guys out first, she won’t be put off by you beating her to the punch. Luckily for them, men have never had to worry about the unfortunate stigma of seeming desperate if they pursue someone.

Some women still fear that stigma though, so you can make it easier on her and ask a girl out. The modern man does need to worry about becoming too complacent, though. If you’re the type of guy that gets asked out all the time, be careful not to get too comfortable with it.

If you assume that you should let the ladies do all the work, you may miss out on some great catches. There are plenty of wonderful women out there who might be a little shy, a tad old fashioned, or just prefer to feel sought after. Even if you’re a lady magnet, you should take a chance now and again and ask out a girl you’re into.

On the flip side, even if you’re an old fashioned guy and prefer to do the asking, don’t shy away from a woman who’s bold enough to ask you out. In the current dating scene, a woman can make the first move without being a generally pushy person.

Be True To Yourself

Finally, whether you’re a boy or a girl, remain true to your own style. If you really don’t feel comfortable asking someone out, then don’t. That just means that you need to be pursued by someone to be happy, so you probably won’t enjoy dating a person whom you had to make the first move with anyway. Odds are good they’ll keep expecting you to take the lead throughout the relationship, which is probably not your thing.

More importantly, so much of the early dating process is about being in the moment. Trust your gut! If you feel like doing the asking, go for it. The worst thing that can happen is that the guy or gal you ask will say no. That just means it probably wasn’t meant to be to begin with. The truth is that there are no hard and fast rules when it comes to approaching a potential date.

If you can get a feel for the person you’re interested in and go with what’s comfortable for you, you’ll make the right decision every time.

How To Approach Women – Doing It Naturally

Vin DiCarlo — Sat, 12 Mar 2011 23:00:59 +0000

When dating, approaching girls can feel awkward and staged. When someone that is simply good with women approaches a girl, they do not have a scripted line all made up for them to say to a girl. They simply see a girl they like and they go over to talk to them. It can be frustrating to watch, but in the end, it’s something that even the most awkward guys can learn.

Have No Fear

The key to this is understanding why they have no fear to start flirting with ladies. Any fear that you have of talking to girls comes from approval seeking behavior that you also must abandon. People that are simply good with dating girls never seek or care about approval.

If you are feeling nervous about talking to a girl, your focus is already out of line because your focus is on trying to gain her approval. If I ever feel slightly nervous when talking to a girl, I know it is because my focus is on the outcome, and I am pre-thinking about what she may think of me. It is at this time I remind myself “Every girl is special, and I want to show this girl what makes her special.” This re-aligns my focus and any nervousness I had goes away.

How To Really Approach Girls

Now, there are many beliefs on the proper way to approach girls when dating, whether it is going direct from the start, hiding your intentions through some pick up line, or talking about your surroundings, none of these are actually the natural way to approach ladies.

Any pretty girls you see has been chatted up by guys with bad game and have also been hit on by guys with the natural ability to talk to girls. If a girl can tell someone has that natural ability, they will open up from the start and that is why it is important to open like a true natural does. The key is opening in a way that shows you believe you have the right to be social.

Step 1: Look for eye contact, if you make eye contact with ANY girl. Time to get up and go over to her.

Step 2: While walking over, do not stare her down, but keep some form of eye contact with her while holding a slight smile. This will allow her to feel non threatened and also will make her aware of your approach. She will already begin to set in her mind that you are going to talk to her, making the whole approach less “random.

Step 3: Say “Hi.” (Now stop! Don’t keep trying to chat up. You have the right to be social, allow for her to see this and allow her to come into the conversation. Just simply say “hi” to the girl with a friendly smile. She will say “hi” back. Her attention is now on you. Many guys jump right in by stating their intentions like “Hi, I thought you were cute and I wanted to introduce myself.” However, this often creates a block in the conversation cause she only knows how to respond by saying “thanks.”

Step 4: Say “How’s it going?” (Now stop again. Your genuine curiosity here will help take over and you will be surprised of the detailed responses you can get from this simple question right off the bat. But you have to genuinely want to know how she is doing, your attitude should be like you are interested in meeting her, but am still feeling out if you want to talk to her.

Don’t be afraid to allow any silence to encourage her to talk a little more. This is how a natural talks; they are completely comfortable saying “Hey, how’s it going” to a stranger without it being weird for them. Girls immediately pick up on this as someone that is attractive and confident around girls.

Also it is very common that if the girl glanced over at you, she actually has something she has been thinking about or wanted to ask you. Often times the girl will actually spark any initial conversation after you say “Hi” just because you have taken the pressure away from the first meet.

Step 5: If conversation has not sparked immediately this is when you can insert your reasoning for going over and talking to her. I don’t really care what kind of opener you use, but using the system I just described above will make any opener you go with much smother and more successful. Personally I do not like to my waste time by chatting about nothing so I will follow up with “I know me coming over seems random, but honestly I thought you were cute and I wanted to meet you. My name is ___” Then I put my hand out for a handshake. If she shakes my hand and introduces herself, then I know I am in; she has complied with my conversation and also has a general interest in me.

This will make the rest of the interaction go much smoother. If she brushes it off by saying she is dating someone already or something, that is cool too because now I am not wasting my time chatting her up for 20 minutes then going for an awkward number close. I could have met three other great girls that were into me within that time. Naturals are very good at time management.

Also if she brushes off my response to saying she is cute, it is still no big deal. I have never gotten a negative response from that because no one ever approaches girls that way. Either way, you have made their day and they will feel good cause you extended a genuine compliment their way.

That is something you should have fun with and also further help rid any dating anxiety. If you genuinely think a girl is cute or there is something about her that catches your attention, and you tell her what that is, she will never give you a harsh or negative response because you have made her feel good. There is absolutely nothing to be anxious about if you are thinking, seeing, and approaching like a natural.

Friend Zone Damage Control

Vin DiCarlo — Wed, 09 Mar 2011 23:00:14 +0000

When dating, beware of the “Friend Zone” – we have all been in it, and it sucks. Despite all the glorious positions you can be in with a women, there is one that no man wants to be in. When placed in it by a woman, you lose all romantic interest in her eyes. You become a sexual non-entity with the arousing powers of her own brother, or a lampshade. Once you’re there, she’s not going to be interested in dating you.

As you gain more experience with women, you will find yourself in the friend zone less and less and will learn many ways to preemptively stop yourself from winding up in it. However, that is not what I am going to get into with this article. Instead I am going to share some ways that you can remove yourself once being placed in it.

Be Willing To Lose The Friendship

The first step to getting out of the friend zone is that you have to be willing to lose her completely. One thing I have learned in my years managing relationships with women is that two people who are platonic don’t sleep with each other. You will not be able to go after her if you are afraid to lose her, doing so will only plant you deeper in it. So what’s the most important step?

Make Yourself Less Available

One of the main reasons you probably got placed in the friend zone in the first place (instead of dating her) is because you made yourself overly available. You constantly made plans to hang out with her without making a move. The longer you hang out with a girl without hooking up, the higher the chance you will be placed in it. So what do you do? Get away from her. Distance yourself and for a little bit stop making an effort to hang out with her. If she is a real “friend” she should be making an effort to hang out with you. You’re soon going to realize that she probably won’t be setting up a time to hang out anytime soon.

As time goes by she will become in touch with you. If not, you can slowly re-engage but this time with a different approach. For example, do not be her therapist. Do not give her advice for how to deal with her problems. If you need listen, only do so mockingly. You are no longer a shoulder to cry on and have no need to feel sorry for her problems. She is a big girl, she will figure it out.

Keep Your Options Open

In the mean time you should be talking to or dating other girls. Not to make her jealous, but to create other opportunity for yourself. Only once you have emotionally removed yourself from the girl you are in the friend zone with, will she start chasing you. Also, this is a great time to work on staying out of it with new girls.

Time is beneficial to you here and use it to your advantage. I’m talking about going months without being in touch. It may seem harsh but if you want her that bad, this is what it takes.

After making yourself scarce to her you have opened up a window to change the frame of the relationship. Start sending her mixed signals by escalating touch and showing interest in dating her. Do not be afraid to start flirting with her. You have not talked to her for a while, you want to come back seeming like a different, more sexual person.

Change Your Goals

You want to be coming from the mindset that you want her, but it does not matter if you get her. Remember, you can’t be afraid to lose her. In fact if you are doing any of this to just try and “get her,” it is not going to work. Stop trying to get her. It may take a few months to get out of the mindset where you are trying to be the guy for her, but only then will you be able to start dating her. And at that point it is up to you to decide if you really want her.

If you honestly have a strong friendship with a girl and you really don’t want to ruin it with dating, then you need to accept you will never hook up with her. But you need to ask yourself, is your spending time with her just another hope for you to hook up out of some miracle, or is for your own enjoyment. Remember, people who are platonic don’t sleep together. But if they do, they can become friends that have sex.

How To Flirt With Women

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 16 Feb 2011 14:00:43 +0000

Flirting with women doesn’t always come naturally. For many guys, even just being around a woman will make them get nervous, clam up and stutter their words. However, the guys who seem to get all the girls have a simple secret to seducing women. You don’t have to resign yourself to being a dud in front of the girls though, because their secret can be easily learned. It’s all about relaxing, being yourself and having fun!

Don’t Take Yourself So Seriously

Dating is supposed to be fun, but many guys take themselves too seriously when they’re trying to meet and flirt with a woman. They’ll be so worried about making the wrong moves or saying something stupid to actually be themselves or get to know a girl. A lot of guys are too scared of screwing things up to actually approach a girl, let alone flirt with her. You’re definitely going to make some mistakes when it comes to hitting on the ladies and flirting with them.

You’re not going to be super smooth every time, but the point is to relax and have a good time. If you take yourself too seriously, you won’t be able to brush it off when you do make a mistake – because let’s face it – most of the mistakes guys make when talking to a woman aren’t so serious they’re going to ruin everything. What will ruin everything is your attitude. So stop being worried about flubbing up and start relaxing and learning to be comfortable in your own skin. You’ll be surprised at the difference it makes!

Make Flirting A Dance

Flirting is a lot like a dance – it’s a give and take between two people. When you flirt with a woman, you’re going to listen to her and show interest in her for a little while, and then you’re going to pull back a bit and appear interested in something else. When this happens, the woman will naturally start to show more interest in you as you pull back, and when she pulls back, you’ll then naturally feel more inclined to show even more interest in her.

This is how things escalate from meeting a woman to flirting with her and on to kissing and even more. The give and take between you and the person you’re interested in is what makes things fun and exciting for both of you because neither of you is sure exactly what will happen next! The unpredictability of flirting is why it’s so much fun!

Think Of Flirting As Having Fun

Instead of being so nervous you can’t have any fun, remember that flirting is all about having fun, even if things don’t go exactly the way you wanted them to. In fact, it could be said that if you’re having fun with someone you’re interested in romantically, you’re actually flirting!

When you make a mistake when talking to a woman, it’s important that you remember that flirting is about having fun and learn to let the little things go. Brush it off with a smile and a laugh and continue having a great time with the person you’re interested in. If you let the little things affect you, it’s going to affect your attitude and you’re definitely not going to be any fun to be around. Your date is going to care less about the fact that you spilled mustard on your shirt than she will about the fact that you laughed it off and were still a blast to be around!

When You’re In A Relationship, Don’t Forget The Flirting

One of the things that two people in relationships often forget to do as time wears on is to make sure that the flirting doesn’t stop. While flirting often comes naturally for two people who just met or are in the beginning of a relationship, it takes more work to keep flirting as you get to know someone and are with them for a significant period of time.

To make sure you continue to flirt with your partner well after you started dating them, it’s important to keep the “fun” attitude and continue to not take yourself – and your partner – so seriously. Instead of letting little things in the relationship crop up and bother you, learn to pick your battles and keep things light and fun. Stay relaxed and be yourself – because that’s who your partner wants to be with, right? Remember, she still wants you to flirt with her, tell her she’s pretty, tease her, touch her and laugh with her no matter how long you’ve been together!

The Dating Guide To Picking Up Women

Rebecca Mills, author of Celebrity Charisma — Thu, 03 Feb 2011 23:00:31 +0000

When dating, most men have got it all wrong and we will correct those dating mistakes here. I think this quote sums it up: My boyfriend used to ask his mother, ‘How can I find the right woman for me?’ and she would answer, ‘Don’t worry about finding the right woman - concentrate on becoming the right man.’” And that is exactly what you will be.

When you look good, feel great, and give off that positive vibe, women will naturally be drawn to your charm. Gone are the days of you begging her for her number or stalking her at work. Just keep these tips in mind:

No Wash-o-Phobia Guys

First off, make sure you are clean and that you smell great. You are not a college guy sharing his dorm with fraternity brothers whose noses are practically desensitized. Keep in mind that dating women requires great hygiene, especially if you want the woman to get her body near yours. A few drops of cologne would be great but please, make sure that the cologne does not bombard her nose with overpowering scent.

Queer Eye For A Straight Guy

Nope. We are not telling you to be metrosexual or anything close to that. Being metrosexual can be a little overbearing for woman, especially if man takes longer to get ready than she does. Good grooming and hygiene are essential, but don’t over do it.

Mr. Smooth

Rather than indulge in any arrogant or aggressive dating approach, take it slow and be smooth. Try to establish eye contact before the approach. Do not just barge in or the woman would think you are an arrogant thug who thinks he is God’s gift to women. Eye contact allows you to assess if the woman is interested. If she looks at you and maintains her gaze, your loins are in for some surprise. If she stares away, do not even bother. Your chances are slim and you are just about as good as Steve Buscemi trying to squeeze a date out of Charlize Theron. Dude, no freaking way.

Your Are Not Ramesses, The Great Pharaoh

Now, we assume that every girl in a bar is with another girl who happens to be lovely as well. Or maybe, there are three or four girls in the group and all of them are pretty. When you make your approach, concentrate on only one woman. You are not a pharaoh in his harem of marvellously good looking girls. Avoid flirting with too many women, or at least don’t be so obvious about it. And without any doubt, do not approach her friends if she has blown you off. Women are fiercely loyal to their friends – and you’re better off heading on to new pastures.

V is for Victory, Not Verbose

Stop pretending to be an eloquent speaker. Get rid of the cliché pick up lines that you learned in high school, a time when you were just trying to understand the female body, let alone her mind! Pick up lines are uncool and will drive your woman to the other side of the world. What matters is your sincerity to converse. Talk to her about things that she is interested in and you shall definitely stand out head and shoulders from the pack. There is nothing more important to a woman than to be listened to and appreciated.

5 Dating Mistakes That Men Make With Women

Michael Webb — Mon, 31 Jan 2011 23:00:09 +0000

Dating problems are easy to create, but great girls are hard to find. So when you do find one, don’t ruin your chances by making deadly mistakes. Remember, attractive ladies are used to dating a lot of guys, so they know what’s going on. The result? They’ll disappear before you realize you’ve done anything wrong. Here are 5 things that many guys do that blow their chances with their girlfriend, and how to avoid them.

Sharing Your Feelings With Her Too Early

When you announce that you love her, you lose the mystery, the magic and the chase. Remember that the early stages of dating should always remain casual. Only after you get to know each other really well should you pursue anything further. It’s also worth mentioning that you can’t logically convince someone to fall in love with you either. Falling in love is a process that happens outside the conscious mind remember that.

Trying To Push It Too Far Too Soon

It’s natural to wonder about your future together but remember, if you start talking about marriage after only 12 months, you could ruin your chances to take things further. Just because you like a particular girl doesn’t mean you should rush things any faster than they should naturally progress. Think about your friends and how the natural progress of friendship happens. Rarely do you meet someone and feel eager to become best buddies over night. As a general rule: slower is better.

Being Too Available

You might think “saying you’re busy” is playing a mind game or being manipulative. Well let me tell you something: everything you do is manipulation. We always act a certain way to try and achieve a certain outcome. The best way to come across naturally is to ACTUALLY BE BUSY. Get involved in life and don’t make your new girlfriend the center of your attention. This is simply a reminder to be who you were before you met the girl of your dreams and continue to be that person, rather than use trickery. Remember that your busy, interesting and fun life only has so much time for her, no matter how much you like her. And remember, ladies love a challenge and mystery, so this actually works in your favor.

Not Being Yourself And Seeking Approval

Girls love dating confident guys with a strong sense of self-worth. Unfortunately, guys often try to guess how the woman wants them to act and try to accommodate her mold, which leaves very little room for your own personality to shine. Be comfortable being you. Showing that you’re not scared to be yourself is very attractive and very refreshing for others.

Buying Gifts For Her

While buying gifts “looks” like a nice gesture, the underlying message is, “I want you to like me, so here’s this expensive thing.” Don’t do it. Gifts are for couples in long term relationships. Buying them too early can have the opposite effect to what you want.

How Guys Can Master The Art of Seduction And Attract Women

Rebecca Mills, author of Celebrity Charisma — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 23:00:59 +0000

Seduction and flirting is an art that is hard to master. In fact, you pretty much need to be a natural, right? Look at George Clooney. That oldie isn’t even trying and yet he keeps popping up in lists of the most handsome men in the world. However, just because you don’t know squat about women doesn’t mean that you can’t learn.

Surveys show that 70% of men are clueless as to what women want in a relationship or even the bedroom. Read on below and stop being a loser with the ladies. Find out how you can use seduction to snag the woman who has eluded you for so long.

Use The Indirect Seduction Approach

This means that you have to create a false sense of security. Women feel secure when men are standing or approaching them from a slight distance. If you approach them directly, or even worse invade their personal space, you are immediately creating a wall of distrust. So slow down and approach a girl like a pro; take your time and casually and naturally get closer.

This also applies to corny chat up lines. Don’t go gung-ho and in – your – face! The old approach of using pick up lines will no longer work, or else you will just look like a dorky Adam Sandler in a romantic movie. What you need to use is a third party or excuse to connect with her, and act as nonchalant and cool as you can be. Do not let the woman sense that you have a hidden agenda or she will run away. Befriend her first and then gradually become her lover.

Establish Mystery

Did you know that Brad Pitt does not talk much? That is right, talkative men are friends, not lovers. Even George Clooney smiles in a way that creates seduction and mystery. If you banter and talk a lot of nonsense, you are much more of an embarrassment and a liability. Mysterious men leave the woman something to think about, something to crave for, something to want. Maintain silence at times or gentle banter and keep your smiles to a minimum. Do not smile like you have a clothes hanger in your mouth. Keep it crisp. When you talk, hit the right notes.

Smell Like A Star

Male celebrities love to smell great – and they gave to with all that attention they get. Women love clean and well groomed men. Add a little celebrity touch by smelling nice – don’t over power her with your ‘sweat.’ You are a guy and your natural pheromones only stimulates a woman’s desire when she’s into you, but only in measured doses. Do you know what I mean?

Of course, it is needless to say that if you have a bad body odor, you need to wear deodorant. The human brain has the ability to smell pheromones. These are naturally occurring scent in humans that drive sexual nature. Use this to your advantage by positioning yourself in a manner in which the air will take your scent to her nose. Stay close to her but maintain an acceptable distance.

Create Need And Temptation

Once you have established an atmosphere of trust, stir the woman’s anxiety. Women are emotional and love to be appreciated and admired. You will praise the woman in ways she never imagined and later on, she will consistently look for your companionship because she will feel good in your company. Now don’t over do it or you will appear desperate and a bit of a creep. Keep your comments real and genuine.

Another way to execute this is to use seduction to cause them to believe that there is something missing in their lives that only you can provide. Be useful to her in some way. Perhaps you’re good at DIY, gardening, IT – or anything! Casually mention a few useful skills and she will be intrigued. Once the bate is set, lead them to water.

Establish Social Value

Men fail to attract women because they act like useless pigs. As mentioned earlier, you should not be an eager beaver. You are letting it all down if you ask her out right away. Before you even do all that, make sure that the woman sees you as someone who has a lot to offer. This may not be in the form of money but in the form of other things such as being popular and having many friends. Women are social animals by nature and they admire a well connected guy who has a network of good friends.

A few other ways to convey social value is to dress well with good fashion sense and an appreciation for quality, have strong confident body language and a relaxed manner. Women are not the only visual creatures out there, and although they may place a little more important on personality, every one of them notices a well dressed and confident man.

How To Talk To Women

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 28 Jan 2011 14:00:12 +0000

Dating and chatting with girls may seem easy for some men, but a lot of guys end up getting it wrong. You can have a seemingly good conversation with a woman that you like, but from her perspective, you were boring and did nothing but go on about yourself. This is actually a very common mistake that guys make, but it doesn’t mean that you have to keep making it. Here’s how you can have real conversations with ladies and stimulate them intellectually – which we all know is the key to getting past a woman’s defenses and showing her that you’re someone she wants to spend time with!

Don’t Talk To Her The Same Way You Would A Co-Worker

Many men make the simple yet devastating mistake of chatting with girls they’re interested in dating like they chat with their co-workers. When there’s nothing really to discuss, they fill the empty space with run of the mill conversation. For example, you may chat with your co-workers about the problems you’re having at work, the weather, what you’re going to have for lunch or any number of random but boring subjects.

You may think that this conversation fare is good for anyone – including girls you’d like to be dating – but the truth is, it’s not. Having conversations like this is actually one of the fastest ways to show a girl that you don’t have any brains and definitely wont make a girl like you! It doesn’t even make for a real conversation – in fact, most people at work drone on about boring subjects because they don’t really have anything else to go on about and they’re simply trying to fill the awkward silence with some kind of conversation.

Instead, chat with ladies you’re interested in about things that interest them, and offer insights, observations and opinions that make it a real conversation.

Chat In A Way That Assumes Familiarity

While you don’t want to chat with a girl you’re interested in like you would a co-worker, you also don’t want to chat with her like she’s a stranger either. The more you ask the same questions a stranger would ask her, the more you’re going to seem like an actual stranger to her. You definitely don’t want her to feel like she’s being interviewed for a job or playing a very boring round of twenty questions. Questions like this might be:

“What do you do for a living?”
“What do you do for fun?”
“Where do you live?”
“Where do you go to school at?”

Instead, make a point to ask any woman you’d like to be dating meaningful questions that actually make her think! You already know that the quickest way to make a woman fall in love with you is by stimulating her mind, so you want to make her feel like you’re interested in her personally and value her opinions and thoughts on different subjects. Questions like this might be:

“What would you do if….?”
“What is your opinion about….?”
“How does …. make you feel?”
“What is your favorite….?”

These types of questions actually get her thinking and stimulate her intellectually. They also show that you’re interested in her and the things that are important to her. These types of questions show her that you actually want to get to know who she is and what she’s all about rather than where she works or what kind of pets she has.

Don’t Filter Yourself

When dating, many guys make the mistake of trying too hard to give off the “right” impression or the impression that he thinks a woman wants. What happens is that they are so caught up in putting on the right kind of “show” that they actually forget to be themselves! Guys are so scared of saying the wrong thing and getting rejected that they end up holding back and don’t actually show a woman who they are and how much fun they can be.

Learning to be yourself and letting go of what you think you should be doing or saying when talking to women is a way to show strength and confidence, which is actually a huge turn on for a lot of gals. Chat with a woman as though she is a long time friend of yours and you’re not afraid of being judged by her. She’ll be so appreciative that you’re actually being yourself, unlike the hordes of other guys that put on the “show” for her. When you learn to have real conversations with girls, you’ll find that instead of looking for girls, the girls are looking for you!

Are Online Dating Sites Worthwhile?

Andrew Wang — Wed, 26 Jan 2011 23:00:53 +0000

Though online dating services once held a certain stigma, they are now commonly used by hopeful relationship seekers. If you’ve been afraid to sign up for one, fearing that you’ll only meet antisocial geeks, you may be missing out. All sorts of people are finding boyfriends, girlfriends, and even future spouses online.

The Benefits Of Online Dating

So just what can online dating sites do for you that a singles’ bar can’t? For one thing, they simultaneously broaden and narrow your search. The site could find people that you wouldn’t otherwise run into in everyday life, casting a wider net for you. Yet it can also turn your focus toward people who share your interests, helping to eliminate unlikely candidates. That saves you time and ensures that you have a lot less first date fiascoes and more fourth and fifth dates and beyond.

You also have the ability to screen potential matches more easily, since you can study the person’s profile before you decide to respond to them. Online matchmaking services can be particularly helpful if you live in a large, highly populous area. It can be hard to navigate dating in a big city. Weeding your way through crowded bars and parties at your friends’ apartments can be daunting. Going online can help steer you toward the right people who desire the same kind of relationship that you do.

That’s something you can’t always tell when you first meet a cute guy or girl at your friend’s cook out. Just because someone seems like a good match, doesn’t mean they’re looking for something as serious as you are searching for. These same sites can also be really helpful for those who live in smaller towns. If you know everyone in town, but still haven’t found the right fit, using a dating site can help you find someone in a neighboring town that you don’t normally visit.

Are There Online Dating Dangers?

Of course, there are some dangers in using online matchmaking services, and you won’t necessarily find your dream date on the first try. It’s bad enough that people can misrepresent themselves in person, but online they can be even trickier. People can lie about their ages, their interests, and even their appearance. If you sense that a person’s profile isn’t totally truthful, or if they admit at some point that they fudged a few details, it’s best to pass over them.

A relationship based on lies can’t come to any good. That’s also why you have to be true to yourself when you put together your profile. If you twist your interests or information to make yourself seem more appealing, you’re not doing anyone any favors. The wrong kind of people are going to end up matched to you, and then they’ll be let down when they find out you weren’t totally honest. If you accurately describe yourself, you’ll draw the kind of people who will truly appreciate you for you. Finding the right match is what online dating is all about. Add it into your dating mix, and you just might find your perfect partner.

7 Sketchy Places To Meet Your Next Girlfriend

Vin DiCarlo — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 23:00:23 +0000

When dating, finding new places to meet women is tough. Ever tell your friends how you met your last girlfriend? No? Neither have I. Not in too much detail, at least. Most of the time the story goes, “I met her at a bar” or “We were in the same class” or“W e work at the same office.”

But you should know, women OBSESS over these dating stories. They tell their girlfriends every little, tiny detail. And they share the story of the day you met with every single person they know. So, in this article, you’ll discover how to give her a damn INTERESTING story to tell.

PLUS – You’ll finally be able to tell YOUR friends a great dating story, with some funny details. (This story will easily get you tons of laughs)

“I Met Him While We Were Trapped 50 Feet Below Ground”

Creepy, right? Sounds like a love story straight from a horror movie. Truth is, this strange place to meet your next girlfriend was voted “The Most Romantic Place To Meet A Man” in a recent, 2010 survey done by a famous woman’s magazine.

And this place is…. the subway.

If you live in any major, metropolitan city, there are thousands of women waiting to meet and start dating you. And you see them every day, riding the subway. If you say the right things to her, it’s as if you walked straight out of her favorite romantic movie, and into her dreams.

Here are some tips:

Start with a compliment. This one works great: “I saw you and your energy seems so positive, I had to come talk to you.” (This works way better than complimenting her body or outfit)
Then ask an easy question: “Where are you headed?”
Finally, before you get off the train, tell her this: “I never meet anyone interesting on the subway. I’d love to get coffee with you, sometime.”
When she says yes, tell her you’ll call her, then get her phone number.

“I Met Him While We Were Surrounded By Dead Animals”

Another one of those horror dating stories, right? Wrong! Whether you’re a younger man who’s into cougars or you’re an older, career focused man who likes career focused women. This place is a perfect place for you to meet women.

And this is… The Grocery Store.

Specifically, the meat section. (Although the other sections will work, as well.) You shop for groceries. She shops for groceries. And between you and me, most of the time she looks sexy as hell doing it. You may as well TALK to the gorgeous women you meet at Whole Foods or Stop ‘n Shop, right? Especially if you’d like to be dating them!

Here’s how:

Walk up to her and give her a nice compliment, like before. Try: “Wow. You look like quite a cook.” (Works even better if you’re joking on her for buying microwave meals)
Start talking about things you like to cook. Move onto topics like activities you like to do. Just make small talk.
After a few minutes, tell her: “Hey, it was really great meeting you. Grocery shopping is usually such a chore. It was a pleasure to bump into you. I’d love to keep talking about X TOPIC sometime – do you drink coffee?”
If she says yes, get the number. If she says no, tell her you know this great tea place, then get the number.

It’s laid back. It’s full of romance. And it WORKS. Try it out, for yourself.

“I Met Him In The Middle Of A Pack Of Nerds And Geeks”

Before I started learning how to meet women, I spent most of my time obsessing over my job. (I worked in a physics lab, and had an B+ rating on ICCUP – a professional video game league) So you can believe me when I tell you: This super-nerdy place to meet women is a gold mine for women who are smart, intelligent, artistic and creative. It’s also an amazing place to meet cute, young college students.

How about… the library?

Surrounded by books, the library is super laid back and quiet. Women love the idea of dating someone seeing them for who they really are. And what’s more revealing than what she’s reading at the library? Nothing!

Try picking her up, like this:

Check out what she’s reading, and then ask her if she likes it.
If you’re in a quiet room, slip her a note. Ask her the same question above, but start it with one of the compliments we talked about, earlier. Try “You seem like you’ve got great taste in literature.”
That works even better if she’s reading something jokey – like a comic book or romance novel.
By now, you know the drill for getting her number. Make her feel special, then ask her if she likes coffee.

Chances are this woman is smart, educated and interesting in making something of herself. At the very least, she’s a reader. And if you’re a reader – you’re a good match.

“I Met Him 100 Feet Away From The Dungeons And Dragons Club”

Yet you’ll find all kinds of interesting women at this, particular place: From women who love to cook and clean, to women who are into economics and politics, even women obsessed with sexual improvement and tantra. Best of all, you can pick which “type” of woman you’d like to be dating as easily as walking just a few feet to your left or right.

Because it is…the bookstore.

And the book store has a whole different set of rules than the library. For one, you can talk, chat and mingle. For another, you can pick which type of woman you’d like to meet, based on what’s she’s reading or where she’s hanging out! Want a down to earth woman? Try the cooking sections. Want a sexually liberated woman? Try self-improvement.

In fact, here are three things to keep in mind, when meeting women at a book store:

Be respectful. She’s trying to read. So when you approach her, say “I don’t mean to interrupt, but…” and then go into your compliments from the library.
Don’t keep her too long. Have small, five minute conversations.
You can go on your first date, right then! Many book stores have coffee shops right in the lobby. So you can bring your new friend on a first date just a few minutes after you meet her. Ask her if she wants to grab coffee and keep talking. (And DON’T call it a first date!)

Once you’ve mastered the library and the book store, here are a few more “sketchy” places to meet your new girlfriend…

“I Met Him When He Woke Me Up From A Nap”

Sounds like you’re sitting in her bedroom, waiting for her to fall asleep, right? Wrong! Hell, you know this place like the back of your hand. (And I can GUARANTEE there’s one woman you’d like to meet here even if you’ve got a SUPER crush on some woman, right now)

What about the classroom….or your work?

Either or, it’s somewhere you spend most of your time. And the women there spend all day doing the same things, over and over, too. Not only will you know a bunch of the same people, you’ll also have at least ONE thing in common. (Which is a major turn on for most women!)

Here are the “rules” you need to know, before you start seriously dating a woman, at work (or school):

Keep it low key. Even when you’re out and out dating, keep your relationship in the down low. Let her tell people, when she’s ready. This way, you won’t screw things up, by accident.
Be subtle and gradual. This means you don’t ask her on a date, right away. Instead, invite her to grab a drink with you and a few of the guys. Then, at the end of the night, tell her you had fun talking to her and would like to grab lunch some day, while you’re working.
These small steps give you big returns because you’ll eventually get to a first date – even sex – without scaring her off along the way

“I Met Him While I Was Hot And Sweaty”

At this next place, you see athletic women where ever you look. Women wearing practically nothing, sunning themselves to get a tan. Women who are friendly, active and blessed with toned, tight, sexy bodies. That’s because you’re hanging out in…

A park!

It’s outdoors. It’s active. It’s fun for most people. And women you meet here are active, friendly and social. If you’re into working out or eating healthy, you’ll meet and possibly start dating) some amazing women here.

Take a second to break the ice and start flirting. Say, “I know this is kinda of awkward, but…” or “I know this is out of the blue, but…” and then follow it up with a compliment.
“I know this is out of the blue, but, I saw you running and I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. What’s your name?”
And as always, chat for a few minutes, then suggest grabbing some coffee. (Feel free to make a joke about not wanting to go now, because they’ll kick her out for being too sweaty)

“I Met Him While I Was Wrist Deep In Another Man’s Dough”

Yup. You read that right. In this area, there’s a good chance she’ll be buried wrist deep in another man’s dough. She’ll also be highly creative, very nurturing and one hell of a cook. (Plus, she’ll smell like warm cupcakes on a summer afternoon)

This place is… a baking or cooking class.

Oh man! If you’ve ever wanted to be SURROUNDED by women who are ALL “eyeing” you like you’re the hottest man she’s ever seen – a baking class is the place to be! You usually get to be partners with a few women who take care of themselves, are looking to improve themselves and are usually very, very sensual.

(They like to make things, smell things, and touch things. Sex with a woman who takes baking or cooking lessons is almost guaranteed to be a good time!)

So how do you find a good class to start dating women? And how would you meet women once you’re there? Here are the tips:

Try a class with cupcakes or other baked goods. Cupcakes are very “in style” right now, and will be for a few years to come – so you’ll meet hotter, “trendier” women than you would at, say, a local lasagna class.
Make sure you’re ACTIVE in making the baked goods! Take charge, give people jobs, delegate. Be the man they look to for what to do next.
Bring a girl friend. This one is the easiest – and most important – of all: Bring a girl who’s also your friend. You do this so the women will know you’re straight and they’ll fight with the other girl to date you.
(Honestly? Your girl friend gives you – a straight man – a reason to be at a cupcake class. The real reason? The women are hot and cupcakes are yummy… There’s really no mystery here)

Go alone and you’re risking an uphill battle. Not to mention, the girl friend you bring will get highly attracted to you, as well.

Sexting: How Women Think About Sex And How To Give Them What They Crave

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 14:00:09 +0000

Sexting is an extremely powerful flirting and seduction tool when you use it the right way and with the right attitude. With any girl, your attitude is either a huge turn on or turn off, and when you apply that concept to sexting, you can literally have your partner wishing she could tear your clothes off before you even walk in the door from work. Here’s how your attitude – and how sexting – can give your partner what she secretly desires!

A Woman’s Biggest Erogenous Zone Is Her Mind

Have you ever seen a really hot girl with a pretty average or below average guy and wondered how he got her on his arm? You figure it’s because he’s great in bed, but that’s rarely the case. It’s more likely because he found a way to stimulate her mind and emotions! Sure, a woman values looks in a man, but definitely not more than his smarts or his sense of humor. A woman greatly values being intellectually stimulated, even more so than having a guy that looks fabulous. If a guy can make a woman feel great mentally and emotionally, he’s a shoe in even if his physical attributes aren’t the greatest.

Women Are Attracted To Non-Creepy Dominance

Women are almost always attracted to non-creepy dominance, with “non-creepy” being the operative word. Contrary to what some men may think, it is possible for men to assert confidence and dominance without being superior, condescending or hateful. Girls are attracted to men who appear confident and in control without acting cocky or degrading towards the ladies.

For example, a great way to exert confidence and dominance on a date without being creepy is to have a “date plan” in mind, such as picking the restaurant. Tell your girl, “I’d love to take you here, they have the best ‘pasta e olio’ I’ve ever had.” However, picking the restaurant doesn’t mean being a jerk about it and insisting that you go there. If she’s not into Italian, have a back up. But more likely than not, your girl will appreciate you taking the lead and showing that you’re a strong, confident man.

You definitely want to AVOID saying, “I don’t care, whatever you want to do” when planning a date, because it shows weakness and lack of leadership qualities – and this is something most women aren’t attracted to. Get used to showing your girl what your preferences are and never apologize for what you desire!

How Does All This Apply To Sexting?

Take the strong, confident attitude that you use when you’re going on a date with your lover and apply it to sexting her. Sexting is powerful because it takes sex and puts it into a woman’s language – the language of words. Most women keep their cell phones with them at all times, so sexting will allow you to communicate with her sexually in a way that is important to her. It’s like blowing past all her defenses and stimulating her right at her very core!

In your sexy text messages, you’re going to tell her what you’re going to do to her behind closed doors (and how badly you want to do it) in a dominant, leading manner. Make sure you use descriptive, sensual language that hooks into her imagination and stimulates her mind. Use your creativity to come up with sexy situations such as oral sex or a new sex position and describe it to her over text.

You can even tell her how she’ll respond to your actions to create a titillating fantasy. Talking about foreplay with your partner throughout the day will get both you and her so turned on that it will be all you can do to keep your head straight while you finish the work day! Here are some great examples of sexting that you can use to turn her on:

“When I get home, I’m going to nibble may way down your neck and….”
“I want to lick your clitoris while I fondle your nipples….”
“I can’t wait to get home and kiss you all over your body….”
“You’ll love it when I slip my fingers inside….”

Coming up with something to say over text to get your partner turned on isn’t difficult if you use your imagination and learn to let go a little. If you’re apprehensive about what to say and when to say it, just remember that whatever you’re thinking of doing to her in your head is something you can say in a text!

Top 3 Ways to Increase Romantic Intimacy

Lee Jenkins — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 23:00:41 +0000

Romance is an essential part of every relationship. While partners are very intimate during the first few months of relationship, they tend to slowly drift apart over time. The changes are too slight to be noticeable, but soon, you will find yourself wondering why your partner does not act playful around you anymore. Moreover, she may be dodging talks about having sex and comes up with so many excuses when you make it clear that you’re in the mood.

There are several ways to improve your intimacy, so don’t make an appointment with a therapist yet. Married or not, couples need to do something about their situation first before seeking the help of a pro.

Set a Cuddle Time

You girl might feel wary about sudden shows of intimacy, especially if she’s often not in the mood to make love. She might think that you’re just feeling horny, that’s why you’re extra sweet or extra touchy. Women feel pressured to perform, especially if they notice that you just want to do it for your own release, and you don’t seem to care whether or not she gets hers. In a long-term relationship, it gets more and more difficult to set the mood for love making, especially if you and your partner have issues.

What you can do is to be content with just cuddling. Ask her to just cuddle and fall asleep like that together. Doing this a few times will increase intimacy tremendously. Soon, she will start to relax and get rid of the thought that you’re cuddling her so that you can get some that night even if she isn’t in the mood. Soon, she will start to want it whenever you’re acting romantic.

If you cannot help but feel the urge while you’re cuddling, you can wedge a small pillow between your legs so that you’re not inadvertently poking her and destroying the mood in the process.

Be Sexually Honest

Sexual honesty means telling your partner that her technique is not bringing you closer to orgasm, but gently. Instead of doing a full critique of her blowjob technique, guide her hand or give her instructions then reward her with moans.

While it is in bad form to constantly ask your partner if what you’re doing feels good, you must listen to what her body is telling you. Don’t get caught up in the act and simply assuming that everything you do feels good.

Buy Each Other Underwear

One definitive proof that you’re intimate is if you give each other underwear. Say you passed by a nice shop and saw a good bikini-style undergarment that you think she will like. Encourage her to choose an intimate apparel for you when she asks you what you want for Christmas. Besides the fact that she’s likely to wear your gift and show you, the thought that you were picturing how she would look in it while you’re in the lingerie shop is sexy.

These tips are just hints on what intimate activities you can do together to improve your relationship. Intimacy is the foundation of a long-term love affair, so make sure you have a lot of it in your relationship.

How To Make A Girl Like You

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 23 Jan 2011 14:00:10 +0000

There’s no dating formula that you can use to make a woman be interested in you. You certainly can’t force it, but does that mean you just have to go with the flow and let whatever happens happen? Not exactly. While there’s no tried and true way to make a woman want to hang out with you, you can use these great suggestions to help her realize what a fun, awesome and attractive guy you are! After you show her how great spending time with you can be, there’s no way she won’t think you’re awesome!

Don’t Force It

You can’t force someone to be attracted to you when you want to be dating them. It just doesn’t happen that way! Obligation, of course, is very unattractive. A woman will not be attracted to you if she feels obligated in any way towards you, whether it’s feeling obligated to be dating you, or to spend time with you or have sex with you. There’s a reason that they say “absence makes the heart grow fonder.” You’ve got to give someone the opportunity to want to spend time with you.

This is actually a huge reason that married couples and couples in long term relationships lose attraction between each other. They feel too much obligation to spend time together or have sex with each other, and they never give their partners the opportunity or chance to want it naturally, without forcing it.

Have Fun

The most important thing to remember when playing the dating game is to have fun. Dating is all about having fun and if you take it too seriously, you’re not going to get very far at all! When hanging out with a woman you really like, make fun your first priority. Make sure you have positive, fun experiences together. Talk to her and get to know her and what she thinks is funny, and tell great jokes that make her laugh. It also doesn’t hurt to be a little protective of her and of course, chivalrous.

Chivalry is not dead, contrary to popular belief! While women don’t necessarily “need” a strong, confident man to protect them, wanting a man like that is hardwired into a woman’s DNA. Even the most independent, self reliant woman will be instantly attracted to a man that looks and acts like a man who can take care of a woman. Even if she doesn’t actually want you to “take care” of anything, showing her that you’re the kind of man that will appeals to something deep inside her that she really never even knew was there!

Give her the emotions she deeply craves, but don’t be too predictable, otherwise she’ll take you for granted. Be a strong, confident man and watch as she gravitates towards you without thinking. This is a great way to get a girlfriend without making it look like you’re desperate or trying too hard.

Give Her Freedom

When dating, it’s important that you not be the “clingy” guy. Show her you’re not jealous, and that you value her freedom. Most women aren’t going to be interested in a guy that is clingy, asks her what she’s doing, when she’s doing it and who she’ll be with. Not valuing her freedom and her right to do what she wishes is the fastest way to end up alone! When you show her that you’re cool with her doing what she wants, you show her that you not only trust her, but that you’re secure enough in yourself that you’re not worried about what is going to happen next. This is an extremely attractive quality in a man!

If you encourage her to go have fun with her other friends, it will create an attractive energy towards you. She’ll be much more interested in you because you’re fun to be around and you’re confident enough that you’re not going to get jealous if she’s hanging out with other people. This will give her the time and opportunity to think about you while she’s away from you and allow her to want you, which is extremely important in any relationship.

If you smother her and put up a fight when she wants to go do things without you, not only are you creating an environment in which she has no room to miss you or want you, you’re also creating a hostile environment that will make her feel trapped and smothered. You’ve heard the saying, “let her go and if she comes back, she’s yours,” right? That definitely applies here!

Is It Okay To Date A Friend’s Ex?

Andrew Wang — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 23:00:04 +0000

When you’re dating and you fall for a friend’s ex-boyfriend girlfriend, trouble could be brewing. Some people believe that you should never date a friend’s past partner, but that’s not necessarily true. Yet there are certainly lots of factors to gauge before deciding to date a friend’s former flame.

So You Like Your Friend’s Ex – Now What?

If you’ve fallen for your friend’s past significant other, you need to consider a lot of things before moving forward. First and foremost, you need to be certain that your friend’s past lover is also interested in you. If you make a move to start dating them and they turn you down, you could still anger your friend. Then you come out a loser not one, but two fronts. Therefore, you really shouldn’t risk damaging your friendship unless you’re dealing with a sure thing.

How Did They Break Up?

Once you’re certain that the object of your affection shares your feelings, you need to consider your friend’s standpoint very carefully. How did his or her relationship end with said person? Did your friend do the dumping, or were they the dump-ee? Was the breakup an ugly or fairly amicable one? Has your friend ever hinted to you that he or she is still attracted to them? Have they mentioned hoping for a reconciliation with this person?

If your friend did the dumping because he or she was looking to move on, you might be okay. Likewise, you can move forward if that friend has moved on themselves and has a new boyfriend or girlfriend. If your friend was dumped and suffered a lot of pain as a result, or if he/she is still mooning after their former flame, you need to hold up. Even if he or she has found a new boyfriend or girlfriend, if their breakup with this ex was particularly messy, you should still give serious pause.

Preserving Your Friendship

The next thing to consider is the state of your friendship. Just how close of friends are you? You must acknowledge that, regardless of how the break up happened, there’s still a chance your friend could become very angry with you. They may even break off your friendship. If the thought of losing this particular friend is too much to bear, then you may have to pass on this romantic opportunity. If this friend isn’t particularly close to you, however, you may find that dating their former partner is more valuable to you than your friendship with them. Just be certain that you know where you stand and assess the risks before proceeding with dating the old lover.

Pursuing A Relationship With The Ex

Should you decide that you are going to start dating your friend’s ex, you need to be very careful about how you handle it. Don’t try to hide it from your friend—that will make things far worse. Lying about or covering it up will only give your friend more things to be mad about. Additionally, it makes you look bad to everyone involved. You’ll seem sneaky and like a backstabber. Instead, be open and up front. Pull your friend aside and let him or her know what’s going on.

Tell your friend that you hope he or she will be understanding, but that you also completely get it if he or she is angry with you. Be sensitive to his or her feelings. You may want to avoid hanging out with your friend as a couple at first. Ease your friend into the situation. If your friend really can’t deal with it, don’t force the issue. Let him or her know that you hope he/she can come around to the idea, then give your friend a lot of space. Hopefully they will eventually be able to move on, and you can all come to terms with you and the former partner dating sooner rather than later.

7 Ways To Get Laid By Being Just A Friend

Vin DiCarlo — Wed, 19 Jan 2011 23:00:03 +0000

Think you can’t seduce a woman who’s just a friend, huh? Well that must suck, especially because the movies and TV make it out to be such a big deal. They say if you’re her friend, you’ll never be anything more than friends with her. Well I’m here to tell you that’s not the case.

In fact, it’s a bold faced lie.

And in this article, you’ll discover 7 seduction tips that show how being “just a friend” can HELP you turn your friendship into a sexual relationship. (Maybe you can even date her in the long run)

Be The Nicest Man She’s Ever Met

Boy, just reading that makes you feel like you’re less “sexy,” right? Well, you should know that women love “nice guys” – they just don’t like “weak men.” What’s the difference? Well a nice guy is someone who treats a woman right. Someone who makes her feel special, sexy and important.

And a “weak man” is a man who lets other people walk all over him.

But fear not! Because there are a few, very simple, very easy ways to show her that YOU are a nice guy, not a weak man:

When she says something you don’t agree with, don’t agree with her. This doesn’t mean you have to be a prick. Be nice, just don’t be afraid to say “no” or “I don’t agree with you” every once in awhile.
Tease her, and put her down lightly. You see, nice guys are afraid of ever hurting her feelings. So afraid, they never tease her or make fun of her at all. You should feel free to make fun of her funny mistakes, the same way your friends tease you when you accidentally leave the garage door open, for example. This type of “teasing” is extremely attractive to women. (An example: Oh man, you’re terrible at that. Nope, I’m never letting you do that, ever again.)
You don’t have to return her calls if you’re busy. For example, she calls and you’re playing video games with a friend, feel free to let the call go to voicemail. Don’t be afraid to take your “alone” time, she’ll understand.

Don’t Be Afraid To Be Romantic

Romance is another trait most nice guys have. Yet you may be embarrassed by how romantic you’d like to be with women. For example, you might be thinking, “well what if she doesn’t like it? What if I’m coming on way too strong?”

And sometimes, you’d be right. Most of the time, however, women love a little romance. Even from their friends. So showing your romantic side will win you brownie points – if you follow these three rules:

RULE ONE: The romance should always be for you. Yeah, you buy her flowers to brighten her day. But why did you think about buying flowers in the frist place? Was it because you were in a romantic mood? Or because buying her flowers would make you feel good? As long as your emotional pleasure is the main CAUSE of romance, she’ll pick up on it, and appreciate the gesture. (This is what women’s intuition is for)
RULE TWO: Don’t overdo it. Little gestures are bigger than big gestures. A pair of slippers for her to wear because she’s always cold in your house is a MUCH better surprise than a candle light dinner for two (unless it’s Valentine’s Day, or a special holiday.) Keep your presents small…
RULE THREE: Curb your compliments. When you get the urge to compliment a woman, take a second and stop. Do you want to make her like you? Or do you want to make her feel good? The second is good. The first is “weak man” territory.

Make Her Feel Good

Who do you like to hang around more? A friend who makes you feel bad or a friend who makes you feel good?

Being a nice guy means wanting to make people feel good. Being a weak man means wanting to make people like you. Here’s how you can stay on the “ nice guy” side:

When you’re talking to someone, always ask yourself, “How can I make this person feel good ABOUT HIMSELF?” Most men ask “How can I make this person feel good ABOUT ME?” And it’s a losing, weak man question.
Feel free to become interested in people. You may feel like you get “too” interested in people, and you may feel like they’ll be annoyed you want to know so much about them. Such a thing has NEVER happened! People will talk about themselves for HOURS, as long as you make them feel good about themselves. So ask away.
Finally, always compliment. Never criticize. A great book for dealing with people is “How To Win Friends And Influence People” written by Dale Carnegie. His main principle: Never criticize, condemn or complain. And if you’re trying to get a girlfriend, get laid or even get a one night stand, being positive will get your farther than bitching or whining.

Give Her Respect

You respect her. This means you treat her like a lady. This means you want to take things slow, and not rush into a sexual situation she may regret later. This is fine and OK. Here’s what you NEED to remember, though:

Women are sexual. Just like men are sexual. Just like you are sexual. This doesn’t mean you’re thinking about sex 24/7 (or maybe you are) This means you like sex (and oral sex and anal sex and…you get the picture), and you want sex to be a natural part of your life. So when you respect a woman, don’t forget to respect this part of her personality, as well.
This means no judging, no calling her a slut, but it also means you can feel free to hold her hand, stroke her hair and kiss her, as long as the timing is right.

Once You Get Into Bed With Her….

Being a nice guy, you think sex with this girl is going to be important and special. Well, Skippy, that’s what she wants, too. She wants sex with you to be special and important and romantic and emotional and dirty and kinky and sweaty and FUN.

So use your desire to get sexual with her as a TOOL to treat her nicely:

Make your first time sex special. After a nice date, come back to your place and invite her up to watch a movie. From there, you can gradually make your move, so sex feels like something that “just happened” for her. This is the greatest gift you can give a woman.
Also – during sex – feel free to make her feel special. Do this by telling her how sexy she looks and how good she’s making you feel. You don’t like having sex with a silent woman, do you? You like when she tells you how good she’s feeling. Return the favor – show her how special she makes you feel.

How Being Shy Can Actually Help You

Here’s a ground-breaking thought: Women like shy guys. Women like quiet guys. Why? Because shy, quiet guys are mysteries to be solved. And women can’t get enough of a man who’s a mystery. So why aren’t women beating down your door to date you? Because women are scared of making the first move.

So the one – EXTREMELY EASY – way to use your shy side to date ANY woman is simply to make the first move. To ask her out to coffee. To touch her first. If you do this, and she knows you’re shy, she’ll know how big of a move this was, for you.

And she’ll feel special and flattered by it – exactly the way you want her feel.

Let Her Know That You Like HER…Not Some Random Girl

And this is the most important quality of all! Because you’re her friend and because you’re a nice guy, you like her for her. You don’t want just some random woman’s random sex. You want her. You want her good parts. You want her flaws. And you want her because you think SHE is special.

Don’t underestimate how powerful this urge is. Imagine someone walking up to you and saying, “I’ve traveled the world and I’ve met hundreds of thousands of people. I’ve seen the pyramids in Egypt and I’ve walked along the Great Wall of China. I’ve met every culture, every nationality and seen things I couldn’t have imagined or made up in a thousand years. But you are the most important person in the world to me, and I want to be with you.”

Makes you feel special, doesn’t it? Obviously it’s an exaggerated example, but doesn’t it match up with SO MANY of the romantic fantasies in movies and books? Luckily for you, you actually feel this way about her.

So don’t be afraid to show it. Just make sure you don’t come across like a “weak man” trying to suck up to her, for attention.

How To Get A First Date

Andrew Wang — Mon, 17 Jan 2011 23:00:47 +0000

Asking someone out on a first date can be highly nerve-wracking. In fact, fear of rejection can cause people to put off, or even give up on, asking someone out. That’s very unfortunate. Risky though it may be, asking for a first date can be highly rewarding. Though you can never be one hundred percent certain you’ll get the “yes” you’re looking for, you can up your odds. A little planning and skillful flirting can go a long way.

Reading The Body Language

So you’ve met someone that you’re interested in, and you’ve decided to ask them out. What now? Before you set a plan in motion, think over the interaction you’ve had with this person so far. You want to be sure they’ll be at least somewhat receptive to your advances. How did they act when you spoke with them in person? Were they upbeat, laughing at your jokes, and smiling a lot? What was their body language like? Did he or she lean in close when you were talking? Did they ever rest their hand on your arm or shoulder, or even give you a hug at the end of the night? All of these actions are indicators that they’re attracted to you.

If they acted in the opposite manner—closed off, somber, etc.—they probably aren’t interested. Don’t waste your time asking someone out, unless the evidence points to them liking you.

Coming Up With The Right Material For A First Date

If the person you’d like to be dating is a friend of a friend, there’s no shame in doing some reconnaissance work. Ask your friend for a little background on your new love interest. This will allow you to come up with a plan for a date that will be that much more enticing. Besides, your mutual friend may mention your interest to the guy or gal you’re pursuing, which will allow your friend to further gauge their interest in you.

If you don’t have a friend in common, try to recall anything that might have come up during your previous conversations with your intended. Did they mention a favorite band or sports team that you could get tickets to see? Maybe they brought up a movie or show they have been hoping to check out. If your date idea references something they mentioned when talking to you, that will show him or her that you’re very attentive and thoughtful.

Making The Phone Call

Now that you’ve got a date plan in mind and have decided that this individual is definitely interested in you, it’s time to call them up. Never invite someone on a date using email or a text message. In an ideal world, you’d be able to ask them in person, but if you’re not going to see each other soon, phone flirting is your best bet. Be simple and straightforward in your speech, without being forceful or over the top.

Say hello and ask how he or she has been doing, then get right to the point. Tell them how you enjoyed talking to them the last time you saw them. Then ask them if they’d be interested in going out with you to whatever event you’ve decided on. Tell them you’d really like to get to know them better in a one-on-one setting, just to make sure they don’t think you’re asking them to a group hang. Thanks to your advance planning and clear, simple wording, odds are very good you’ll get the yes you’re hoping to hear.

How To Get A Girlfriend

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 14:00:23 +0000

Dating and getting a girlfriend isn’t always the easiest thing to do – in fact, it’s downright frightening! Not only is dating scary and intimidating, you’re not always sure what you’re going to get out of the deal. Will you get a girlfriend, a one night stand or will you get rejected, yet again? Instead of worrying about how you’re going to get a date, use these three simple yet extremely effective suggestions to make sure you do get the girl!

Have Your Own Life

When dating, many guys assume that they have to put all of their time and effort into scoring a date with a girl. Instead of having a life of their own where they do things that they enjoy doing, they sit at a bar waiting for the right girl to walk in. This is not the best way to get a girlfriend! In fact, the best way to meet the right woman for you is to have your own life and do the things you like to do. Be at the places you like to be and take part in activities that make you happy.

What is so great about this is that instead of meeting a woman at a bar, you’ll meet her while doing something that is actually interesting to you and you know you’ll have at least one thing in common with them! If you are too desperate for a relationship, you put off a clingy, needy energy. Women will instantly pick up on this and they’ll actually be repelled by you – not attracted to you. If you have your own life, women will see that you are confident and able to have fun without them – and that you’re fun to be with!

Don’t Be Afraid To Make The First Move

Many guys are afraid to make the first move when playing the dating game, whether it’s flirting with a girl or kissing her. They’re afraid that a woman will reject them if they make the first move, so they play it safe and avoid doing anything at all! These guys may stand in the corner of the bar, looking around at cute women but never taking a step forward to meet them or say hello. If you are too timid when first meeting a woman, you’ll be stuck in the friend zone for sure!

Instead of hanging back and waiting for a woman to approach you, walk up to her and strike up a conversation! Introduce yourself and ask her a question about herself instead of using a lame pickup line. Don’t compliment her looks – instead, compliment her work ethic or tell her how hot it is that she’s into baseball. If she’s responding well to you and seems to be laughing and joking with you, put your hand on her knee or shoulder. Look her in the eyes and if things seem to get romantic, lean in for a kiss. Just don’t go too far before she’s really warmed up to you. Make sure that you are aware of her reactions – don’t push it if she’s not ready.

Show Your Interest Physically Instead Of Verbally

While telling a woman that you like her is one thing, actually showing her is the best way to move from dating to actually getting a girlfriend. This is where reading body language comes in. If you don’t know how to look at her body, the way she is standing and what she’s doing with her hands to tell if she likes you or not, it’s time to learn. Most women won’t flat out tell you that they like you. Instead, she might start touching you while she’s talking to you or lick their lips if she wants you to kiss her. Learn how to read body language instead of asking her if it’s okay for you to kiss her.

If you ask permission, it’s a turn off because it shows that you aren’t aware of her interest. Sure, you’re risking rejection by doing it, but keep in mind that if a girl seems to like you but doesn’t want to kiss you or go home with you, she’s not rejecting you – she’s just rejecting the next step. If you don’t make a big deal out of it, you may get another chance. Remember that the dating game is all about taking risks! Having the confidence to put yourself out there and taking the risk of being rejected by a woman is actually very sexy and attractive!

How To Approach Women Without Fear Of Rejection

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 14 Jan 2011 14:00:46 +0000

When playing the dating scene, it can be difficult and even intimidating to approach a woman to ask her out on a date. Many guys are afraid of getting rejected by the woman they ask out, so they rarely approach a woman at all. Instead of being afraid of rejection next time you want to ask a girl out, try using these tips to confidently let her know that you’re into her – and get her to go on a date with you!

Pay Attention To Your Body Language

When dating, most guys try to play it “cool” and avoid looking like they’re desperately looking to score a date. However, this often ends up backfiring in their face, because they start playing it “too cool” and the women they’re interested in have no idea that they’re actually interested! This usually happens subconsciously, because a man’s body language will give everything away if he’s not careful to pay attention to it and make sure his body language is giving the same message that he’s trying to put across. If a guy wants to score a date but is trying to play it cool, his body language may make a girl think he’s not interested in her when he really is. The wrong body language will also make a guy look arrogant, cocky and aloof, preventing any girls from coming up to him and asking him out too! When you’re dating, it’s important that you pay extra attention to your body language so you can give the right message to any lovely lady that you might be interested in.

Be Yourself And Be Honest

Instead of trying to be the guy you think will get all the girls, try being yourself when you’re dating. Be honest about who you are, what you like and don’t like and what is important to you. Stick to your guns and what you believe is right and wrong. There are lots of girls out there that you will hit it off with and will appreciate you for who you are and will appreciate the fact that you’ve been honest about it instead of lying and putting on a fake face like a lot of guys who play the dating scene. If you’re looking for sex only, be honest about it. Let girls know up front what you’re looking for. You may be afraid of doing that because you’re afraid that girls won’t want to have sex with you if you don’t pretend that you’re interested in more, but there are girls out there who are also looking for one night stands too. If you’re dating but interested in a relationship, be honest about that too.

How To Use Compliments

There’s not a woman alive who doesn’t like hearing compliments, but most guys use the wrong ones when they’re dating. Sure, it’s easy to comment a girl on the way she looks, especially if she’s a good looking woman. However, good looking women are used to hearing about how pretty or hot they are so you’re not going to score points for being original. However, if you really want to let a girl know that you’re interested in her, you want to compliment something that is more important to her than just her looks or her hot body. Compliment her about something she’s done or something that she’s achieved that she’s worked hard for. This will mean much more to her than just a canned compliment that she hears often.

Have A Goal In Mind

Most guys approach the dating scene with a goal of talking to a girl, getting her number or asking her out. While this is a good ultimate goal, you should have a smaller goal in mind when you first meet a girl. Your goal is to get her moving with you. Whether it is just a simple walk to the bar or to go get coffee down the street, your goal is to get her away from her friends and walking and talking with you. This will give her a chance to be in your space and you in hers, without the awkwardness of a face to face confrontation right away. Getting her moving is also a great first date idea too. Instead of asking her out for drinks or coffee where you’re both worried about what to say to each other, go out and do something together that you both enjoy such as bowling or taking an art or music class together!

3 Romantic Gestures That Will Earn You Big Points

Jessica Perez — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 23:00:52 +0000

In the dating world, women are more often the ones who are showered with compliments, but the thing is, men need the same level of TLC from women. Here’s a secret all women should know: a man can keep up the one-sided wooing up to a certain point, then the woman would have to pull her own weight in the romance department. If not, well, let’s just say that’s when you start complaining that the man is not paying attention to you.

Here are three of the best ways to bring the oomph back in your relationship and your sex life.

Ask About His Day

Even if you know his routine by heart, you should ask the man you’re dating how his day went. The reason for this is simple but significant: asking means you care. If you just assume that everything went well and that you have a lot more to worry about than his needs or the way he spent his day, that’s when he starts feeling like he’s a fixture.

Comments or questions that encourage him to talk about his activities that day can spark conversation. After you’ve done this a few times, he will go through the day collecting small tidbits of stories he can tell you when he comes home and you ask him how his day went.

Open The Topic On Sex

Innuendo doesn’t have to always come from him. When you casually drop hints that you miss doing it with him, he will assume that you’re in the mood. Doing this will also plant the idea of sex, so that he will think about it even when he wasn’t expecting to have sex with you that night.

Just the thought of sex gets men in the mood, especially if you haven’t been doing it lately. Being playful starts with sexual innuendos, followed by subtle touching and stares that tell him you want him.

Be Touchy-Feely On A Date

A man does not have to be the one doing the asking. Being passive about your dating life will get you nowhere, especially if you’ve been living with the same guy for a long time. Ask him to go with you to the movies, or to a concert, and be touchy-feely when you’re out together.

Public display of affection is a way to increase sexual tension. Men tend to forget to hit on you when you live together. When you’re out on a date, being touchy-feely can make him want to go home as soon as possible. If it’s not possible to go home at once, expect him to reciprocate with his own brand of affection as the sexual tension rises.

If you’re not keen on facing the prospect of a break up, small gestures like these are necessary. Pulling away is the result of not focusing on small things that matter a lot when dating. If your man is not the type to respond well to your gestures, don’t be disillusioned. As long as he feels your sincerity, he will find a way to reciprocate.

How To Know If A Girl Likes You

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 12 Jan 2011 14:00:03 +0000

When dating around and looking for the right person, it’s easy to make lots of friends and get to know lots of different people – but how do you know if a girl really likes you in a romantic way? Reading into signals and body language isn’t always easy, so here are three great ways to tell if someone you’re thinking about dating really likes you, or would rather be washing her hair on Friday night than go out on a date with you.

Frequency Of Contact

When you’re dating and trying to figure out if a girl likes you or not, one of the first things you want to look at is who is contacting who and how often. Step back and take a look at your phone and find out if you’re calling or texting her more or if she’s always calling or texting you. If you’re always making the effort to contact her and she rarely (if ever) picks up the phone and makes the effort to contact you, the affection may be a little one sided. She may not be as interested in you as you are in her. However, if she’s calling or texting you back about the same amount that you are with her, then it’s a pretty safe bet that she likes you too and there’s a definite chance for a relationship there. Keep in mind though, if she’s always the one to call you or she’s doing it way too much, she may be a little obsessed with you and that’s not a way you want to start a healthy relationship. If she’s blowing up your phone, she most certainly likes you – but perhaps a little too much.

Does She Take Your Calls?

Another way to find out if a woman you’re considering dating shares romantic feelings for you too is to look at how she responds to your calls. Does she answer the phone within the first few rings when you call no matter what she’s doing? Or does she let it roll to voicemail and get back to you later when it is more convenient for her and she’s not around other people? A girl that likes you is going to answer the phone almost every time you call (with a few exceptions like something really important that is going on at work, etc.), even if she is with her family or friends. If she really digs you, she’s not going to try to hide the fact that you’re calling while she’s spending time with the people that are really important to her in her life. She’s going to pick up the phone and say hello, even if it’s just to tell you she’s up to her ears in work or family and will get back to you later. On the other hand, if she’s often letting your calls roll to voicemail and calling or texting you back later, you can safely assume that she considers whatever she’s doing at the moment you call more important than talking to you.

Ask Her To Do A Favor For You

The litmus test to really find out if the girl you’d like to be dating shares the same feelings as you is to ask her to do a favor for you. This is a big one! Ask her to do a small favor for you (something that doesn’t cost a lot of money or doesn’t take up too much of her time or causes her to go well out of her way) while you’re at work or busy at a family function. Does she do it with no questions asked? Does she seem to be happy to get to do something for you and show you that you’re important to her? Or does she put it off or refuse to do it at all? Does she make excuses as to why she can’t do it, or even flat out tell you she’s too busy? Her willingness to do something for you is a great indication of her interest level and can tell you whether she’d like to be dating you or whether you’re more in the friend zone to her. This can also help a girl that isn’t sure whether she likes you or not realize that she does – because naturally, her brain will ask her why she just did something for you and subconsciously she will realize that it is because she cares for you. It can also help her to like you even more, as she gains satisfaction from seeing you happy with her that she’s done something to help you!

5 Signs They’re Really Interested In You

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 14:00:58 +0000

Picking up flirting signals isn’t always a piece of cake, especially if people are shy or covert about being into you. While some flirting signals are super easy to spot (say, a big kiss on the cheek or a quick smack on the rear end) others are a little harder to see on the radar. Here are some ways you can tell if a girl or guy is actually flirting with you and if they’re interested in you. If you see one or more of these telltale signals, it’s a safe bet that they’re into you. If you aren’t picking up any of them, you’re probably wasting your time.

Eye Contact

Eye contact is a biggie when it comes to flirting. If they’re not looking you in the eye, they either have severe, crippling shyness or they’re just not that interested in what they think you have to offer. However, if he or she is looking you in the eyes when you’re talking, it’s a safe bet they’re totally captivated by what you’re saying. Someone that likes you and wants to date you is going to look at you when you speak and they’ll probably still be looking at you long after you’ve stopped talking. Even someone who is a little shy will glance up a few times at your face to gaze into your eyes. There’s a reason, after all, that it is said that the “eyes are the window to the soul!”

Frequent Touching

When someone makes a point to touch you often, they’re most likely flirting with you and want you to ask them out. They might make excuses to touch you by saying that you had a piece of dirt or lint on your shirt (conveniently placed on an area of your body that he or she wants to touch) or by spilling a drink on you and helping you mop it up. How many guys have gotten to feel a girl up because they “accidentally” spilled their wine on a girl’s shirt and help soak it up with a napkin placed in just the right location? If they lay their hand on your knee during a conversation, wipe an eyelash off your cheek or brush against you when they get up to get a drink or go to the bathroom, they’re definitely interested in you.

Focused On You

If someone is super interested in you, all of their attention is going to be on you. He or she is going to be interested in what you’re saying, listening to the jokes you’re making and offering feedback and stories of their own. This is all part of the dating game and lets the person of interest know that they want to hear what you have to say and are curious about who you are as a person. However, if the person you’re talking to is sneaking looks over at the game, conversing with their friends or are occupied by their cell phones, they’re probably not into hanging out with you. If the person you are flirting with seems distracted in any way, politely end the conversation and move on to get to know someone else. You don’t have to waste your time on account of being polite and friendly.

Smiling And Laughing

A person who is flirting and having a good time is going to be smiling and laughing. They’re going to be engaged in the conversation, and may be exhibiting some of the other telltale clues that they’re into you as well. On the other hand, someone who isn’t having fun or doesn’t seem to be hitting it off with you isn’t going to put on a fake happy face – and if they do, you’ll be able to tell right away. There’s a world of difference between a cheesy fake smile and a genuine smile on the face of a gorgeous guy or gal.

If you’re just not sure that the special someone you are thinking about is thinking about you too, just muster up the guts to ask them out on a date. Sure, you might get rejected or even politely turned down, but asking someone out on a great date is the best way to know if someone likes you for sure. It doesn’t have to be something super fancy or perfect – in fact, it can be a casual lunch or coffee date. While you may think that the clues definitely point to “yes,” there’s no way to tell for certain until you get their number and ask them out!

3 Ways To Plan A Romantic Evening

Lee Jenkins — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 23:00:01 +0000

You’re planning an evening of romance for your anniversary, or if you’re still dating, maybe you’re simply looking for a way to make your girl feel glad that she found the most romantic man in the world. How do you go about thinking of a romantic evening with your girl?

Plan The Logistics Of Your Date

Even if you cannot predict the weather, or what will go on exactly during your date (you might have had a dinner date but she wants to drag you to the nearest hotel right away), you can always create an outline of events for romance. At least come up with an idea on how it will begin and end, whose place you are crashing into if you both get carried away during the date, and those small details that could make or break your night.

Schedule and logistics are particularly important if you’re reserving a table in a fancy restaurant, or if you’re going to be watching a movie. But don’t be too anal about the details, especially when your date has a habit of making you wait. Just adjust and adapt to the situation. For instance, if she’s running late, send her a message saying that maybe it’s better to order in so she wouldn’t have to rush home.

Feed Each Other Finger Food

An evening full of romance is not complete without sustenance. But dinner does not have to be a formal affair inside a restaurant with dozens of other people for there to be romance. You can have dinner at home, on the couch and without utensils. The trick is to order in or cook a finger food dish you can share with your partner. Make sure you cook the dish beforehand so that it’s ready when she arrives, or when you meet up (if you’re going for an evening time stroll).

If cooking is not your strong point, you can simply get chips that won’t get your hands too dirty, like the cheese-flavored ones. Although offering chips with your hands is romantic, wiping your fingers on wads of table napkins to get rid of the cheese is not.

Prepare For Sex

Even if you just started dating, it doesn’t hurt to hope for a little nookie after offering up the romance. This means your bedroom must be ready to accommodate you and your girl if things heat up during your date. If your date was a success, you can expect your date to be feeling more than a bit giddy with excitement and sexual tension on your way home.

Clean sheets, dirty laundry in their proper place and your room smelling great – all these things will do wonders for the sex you’re going to have that night. Stash a few condoms near the bed just in case you remove your pants before you get the condoms out of your pocket.

How To Leave A Message & Get A Return Call

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 08 Jan 2011 14:00:28 +0000

You’ve been dating and you’ve got someone’s number. Congratulations! You’re riding the high but you’ve yet to actually call them – what if you get their voicemail? Getting the answering machine make most people lock up, stutter and leave the most awkward messages. What kind of message do you need to leave to get a return call? If you’ve struck out in the past and have left voicemails that don’t get callbacks, here’s how you can leave a message and get a call back – every time!

Speak Slowly And Clearly

When leaving a voicemail, whether you’re phone dating or calling a number that you’ve scored, it’s important to speak slowly and clearly so you can be understood. When people get stuck with the answering machine instead of the person they want to be dating, they tend to get very nervous clam up. They may not speak at all for several minutes, or they may talk so fast that they’ll never be understood. Speak normally, but slowly and clearly enough that the person listening can understand each word that you’re saying. Just don’t talk too slowly, or the person that’s listening may actually think you’re “slow!”

Leave Your Phone Number

You would be surprised at how many people get nervous and forget to leave who they are or their phone number in the message. If you have to, write it down. Sure, you know your own name and phone number but it’s easy to get so nervous that you forget to say it. Also, remember to say where you met them at the beginning of the call and repeat your phone number again at the end of the call. It may unnerve you to think that they may have forgotten who you are or where they met you from, but we all get busy and things slip from time to time. If they don’t remember where they met you, you’re probably not getting a call back. If you leave a long message, the person listening to it may not have the time to rewind it and listen to the phone number again. Saying your number again at the end of the voicemail gives whoever you want to be dating the opportunity to write it down after they’ve had a chance to listen to who you are and where they know you from.

Practice What You’re Going To Say First

It’s easy to get really nervous during different steps in the dating process, especially if you’ve never talked to the object of your affection before. If you’re super nervous, practice what you’re going to say before you actually make the call. You want to sound confident and casual, not scared and stuttering! Even if you’re a pretty chill person, the pressure is totally on after the beep. Your confidence will suddenly drop and you may not remember what you were going to say! Making a few notes about what you’re going to say before you make the call and having them in front of you when you dial will make it easier for you to leave a great message.

Let Them Know You Like Them

How many times have you left a message letting someone know who you are, where you met them and what your phone number is – but have forgotten to let whoever you’re calling know that you really like them and enjoyed meeting them? Lots of people forget how important telling someone you’re into them is, which often leads to getting stuck in the friend zone instead of actually dating them. Don’t be afraid to let someone know that you like them and you’d like to meet them again or schedule a first date with them. Just be honest about how you feel!

Don’t Be Afraid To Call Back

After leaving a voicemail, give it a few days and if you don’t hear from them, call again. There’s no “phone dating rule” that says you can’t call more than once. Lots of things can happen to sabotage your message actually getting through (in its entirety) to the person you’re looking to start dating. They might not have gotten the message if their voicemail was full, or your phone – or theirs – may have cut out before they got to write down your entire number and they’re not sure how to get a hold of you. The message may have accidentally been deleted, or they simply may have listened to it, meant to call you back and just forgot. There’s no shame in calling again to see if the message actually went through. Just don’t end up on the stalker list – calling back more than a few times is a little creepy.

Dating Tips: What Are The Best Pick Up Lines?

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 14:00:58 +0000

When dating, coming up with pick up lines isn’t always an easy thing to do. It can be extremely difficult to think of something when you’re trying to approach a woman, especially if you’re very nervous or jittery. You may be tempted to use a “canned” pick up line that you read on the Internet or heard from a friend, because it’s easier than coming up with something on your own when you’ve been put on the spot. However, those puick up lines rarely work and often serve to get you rejected by the girl you’re trying to ask out. Check out these great tips on the best pick up lines and how to successfully ask a girl out.

Be In The Moment

The best pick up lines come naturally. They come from the heart and are sincere. They’re not canned statements that can be used on any girl – they’re intelligent statements about your surroundings, what is going on and who you’re with. Most women don’t respond to manufactured pick up lines when dating – and not to worry, a girl can smell a fake pick up line from across the room. Rest assured that any cheesy statements will get you rejected! Instead of using canned pick up lines when dating, be “in the moment” and talk to the girl you’re asking out about what is going on around you. Ask her a question, compliment her in a genuine and sincere way or tease her with a giant smile on your face. Avoid making a comment about her physical appearance, especially her body. Gorgeous women are told all the time that they are gorgeous – they want a guy to make an effort to get to know her and value her for her intelligence, not the way she looks.

Be Yourself

When dating, it is important (crucial, in fact) that you be yourself instead of trying to be someone else. Not only will trying to be someone you think girls will like make you feel uncomfortable and out of place, people are going to see it on you right away. If you’re not relaxed and “in your own skin,” you’re not going to look natural when you ask a girl out. You’re going to look nervous and cheesy, and it’s going to be completely obvious to the girl you’re talking to that you’re not being yourself. When talking to a woman, be honest about your hobbies, your work and your opinions about things. Don’t try to tell her what you think she wants to hear, because you’re most likely going to be wrong on that count. You should also make a point to ask her honest questions about her life, her interests and hobbies and her opinions about things. Listen to what she says and do your best to show her that you’re genuinely interested. Women want their voice to be heard and want a guy that will take and interest in what interests them!

Practice Makes Perfect

If you’re shy, dating definitely doesn’t come naturally to you. For shy guys, dating and talking to new people can be downright torturous. You can, however, learn how to get more comfortable with dating and meeting people. The best way to comfortable with meeting new people and talking to them is to get some practice at it. “Practicing” is actually a pretty simple concept, but the hard part comes when you have to actually get out of your comfort zone. Try going out and meeting people! Go to a bar, a bookstore, a fast food restaurant or the park – go anywhere where there are people and make a point to say hello to as many people as you can. Bonus points if you can actually strike up an interesting conversation with someone! When you practice meeting new people, you’ll be much more comfortable when asking a girl out. If you’re comfortable in new social situations, you’re not going to need pick up lines to meet women!

Have Confidence In Yourself

The best way to be successful in dating is to have self confidence. Being confident in yourself is something that shows through in the way you talk, the way you carry yourself and how you appear to other people. Women don’t generally gravitate towards men that are shy, that hang their head down and wait for someone to approach them. Women are attracted to men who are conversational, personable and who eminate self assurance and self confidence. Just be careful not to appear too cocky, because men who give off a “cocky vibe” will definitely not succeed in dating!

3 Surprisingly Romantic Things To Do On A Date

Lee Jenkins — Wed, 05 Jan 2011 23:00:38 +0000

Flirting and being romantic is easy, but the challenge to men all over the world is coming up with ideas that will make a date exciting. Every woman who’s worth a second look has probably been on dates before, and it’s safe to say that quite a few of them have seen it all. From movie dates to coffee dates, to simple walks around town – she has probably done most of these things with her other dates.

Even if she is not the type to have gone on various dates, you still have to be at your romantic best when you’re out with her. Creating the perfect date takes some effort, but you don’t have to aim for perfection (and do away with the pressure). You can settle for ‘extremely romantic date’ instead.

Blow Bubbles

Here’s a romantic date idea that won’t break the bank. Small bubble tubes (the kind that kids play with) are cheap, so bring a few if you’re planning on just walking around the park while talking and flirting. You can use the bubble tube when you’re sitting on a park bench or on the grass doing nothing but talk and relax.

The romantic part is using the bubbles as a tool for learning about each other. Share one story per bubble blow, or punctuate the end of a story with a stream of bubbles. In a park, during the day, bubbles float upward, which could be quite a sight if you and your woman are feeling sentimental and romantic.

Firecrackers

An alternative to blowing bubbles is lighting firecrackers. This is for those night time dates when you’re outside and you just feel like stargazing together. Small firecrackers are inexpensive, and they can be quite pretty to look at when you’re just sitting around doing nothing but sit close together.

Summertime weather is perfect for lighting small sparklers that only stay lighted for a few minutes. This activity will make any date feel like it’s the fourth of July.

Karaoke

Some guys think that singing karaoke is too passé, too corny and too common. I say they haven’t tried it one-on-one with a special lady. This is your chance to know what kind of music she likes best, and which songs mean a lot to her. Music has a way of making a woman feel deeper emotions. At the very least, you will be able to make her laugh and turn it into an opportunity for fun flirting with your singing.

Rent a karaoke box somewhere for more privacy. If you live alone or your parents are out, you can go for frisky karaoke. Making out cannot be avoided in a karaoke singing session, when she’s acting seductive while singing a love song to you. Pull your weight by singing something romantic, like ‘Michelle’ by the Beatles or some other classic love song.

3 “Cool” Ways To Stare At A Woman You Like

Vin DiCarlo — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 23:00:44 +0000

When you see a beautiful lady, your first instinct is to stop and look, right? Why not? I know it’s awkward to look at a girl for too long – but this is an incredibly effective seduction technique if done correctly.

Yeah, you don’t want to get caught staring. You don’t want to offend her. Sometimes, you even imagine she can “tell what you’re thinking” and might think you only want her for her body.

The truth is, most women can’t stand being stared at. In fact, the men who stare at them are automatically unattractive to them. However, there are a few ways you can look at a lady and get away without a scratch. In fact, you can look at any woman in these three ways and turn her ON, instead of turning her off.

You’re about to discover how to seduce her with just your eyes (you don’t even need to say a word while you’re looking.) Best of all – these seduction tips make it impossible to “get caught.”

Why Women Are Turned On By Vampires

They are masters of seduction – but why?

Have you ever owned a puppy, or knew someone who owned a puppy? Then you know how much puppies love to have their stomachs rubbed. Do you know why? Well, it’s because there are a whole bunch of nerves on a puppy’s stomach that don’t usually get touched. So a soft touch on this super sensitive part of their body makes them go wild.

How’s this relate to women? Well, the stomach is a sensitive area of YOUR body, as well. Try it out, lightly touch yourself on the stomach. You can really feel it, can’t you? Truth is, there’s another area on your body JUST as vulnerable, sensual and sensitive as your stomach. It’s your neck. The female neck is also a very SEXUAL area of her body, even more than her vagina or clitoris, because she puts perfume on it, loves getting kissed there, and makes sure it looks sexy in any dress she wears.

So what if you stared at her neck, while you two were having an intimate conversation while dating? Here’s what happens: She starts thinking about her neck. And she starts FEELING your eyes on her body. This starts to send the same emotional signals to her brain that get sent when she gets kissed on her neck.

In this respect, staring at her neck while you two are sharing an intimate moment is the same as gently kissing or nibbling on her neck and it has the same effect ON HER BODY.

So try this seduction technique. Next time there’s a two second break in your conversation, take those seconds watch the nape of her neck. She’ll get off on it. And you’ll give her an emotional experience no man she’s ever met has given her, before.

Making Eye Contact

Being able to master eye contact is absolutely critical in the art of seduction (seduction really is an art)! It builds trust, because prolonged eye contact (longer than 3 seconds) releases the bonding chemical oxytocin. And this is the same chemical released when you two are cuddling in bed after sex. It’s in much smaller quantities – of course – but it still has an amazing effect.

However, “too much” eye contact can be intimidating and down right creepy! Ever had a boss “stare you down?” It’s a miserable feeling. So what should you do with your eyes, if you’ve had “too much” eye contact? How about you turn her on?

Try this incredibly effective seduction technique next time your on a date.

Take your eyes, and lightly dart down to her lips. Just for a second. And then look at different parts of her face, like her cheeks… the corners of her eyes, her temples, and other parts of her face. Your goal is to look at any part of her face you’d like to kiss. Because, like in the example before, a strong look on a certain part of your body releases the same emotions and chemicals as a light kiss does.

So “placing” your eyes on her face like you’d place your lips will get her imagining you kissing her face. And all of the bonding emotions that releases will make your first date – or even your relationship – much, much stronger.

How To Make Awkward Pauses Sexy

What can you do when you have a few seconds without speaking when you’re dating? It’s easy – look deep into her eyes. This builds a HUGE amount of romance and sexual tension.

Most of the time, men try to “fix” an awkward pause with a joke or something to diffuse the tension. This comes across as try hard, and is never attractive to women. However, just looking into her eyes tells her you’re OK with silences. You’re OK just being yourself around her. And this is extremely attractive to women.

Imagine a girl saying, “Hey. I feel like I can be myself around you. You just make me feel comfortable.” That’s the sign you’re sending to her. And that’s the message she CRAVES when she’s dating a strong man, like you.

Dating Tips – How To Have Multiple Girlfriends And Be Honest About It

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 03 Jan 2011 14:00:56 +0000

Having multiple girlfriends is something single guys (and even men in relationships) dream about. Unfortunately for them, dating more than one girlfriend isn’t something that is achieved easily. Most guys try to lie about it, but they always get found out – leaving them alone with no one to date at all. It is possible, however, to have more than one girlfriend at a time without lying or cheating – here’s how!

Be Truthful With Each Girl

If you want to have multiple girlfriends, you’re going to have to be completely, 100% truthful with each girl that you’re seeing. Let each one know that you’re dating other people and you’re not going to be exclusive. That way, if she’s looking for an exclusive relationship, she can look for one elsewhere before you both have too much time and emotion invested into a relationship that really isn’t going to be a relationship at all. Yes, this is difficult to do because some women will look at you like you’ve grown feet on your head and others will walk right out on you. However, the right girls won’t mind that you’re looking for a casual relationship and are seeing other people. They’ll be interested in casual dating too and will truly appreciate that you were completely forthcoming about your other girlfriends from the get go.

Let Her Know That You Like Her

In addition to being open with each girlfriend that you have, another trick to seeing more than one woman is to let each girl know that you really do like her or love her. It’s ok to like or love more than one girl at a time, so don’t be afraid to tell a woman that you love her if you also have romantic feelings for someone else that you’re dating. Women by nature want to feel loved and cherished, and if you make each girlfriend feel like they are important to you and mean something to you, they’ll be more apt to stick around, even if you are romancing more than one woman.

Be Discreet About Your Dating Habits

When you have multiple girlfriends, it’s important that you keep your dating habits to yourself. Yes, you’ve been genuine with each woman that you date that you’re not in an exclusive relationship with them, but that doesn’t mean that any of the girls you’re dating want to see evidence of your relationships with other women. Don’t have pictures of you and your multiple girlfriends in your home (that is, if you bring any of your dates to your house) and don’t post pictures on social websites such as Facebook or MySpace. This will only lead to trouble and more trouble! Even if you do have multiple girlfriends, if you make each woman feel as though she is your only girl (even though they know it’s not true), you will have much more success than if you make them feel as though they’re not the only one. This truly is the key to seeing more than one woman at a time – if you can make each one feel special, loved and important, you’re in the clear.

What To Do If You Want To Become Exclusive

If you decide that you want to have an exclusive relationship with one of the women you’re dating, it’s important that you let each one of your multiple girlfriends know immediately. Don’t wait, and don’t continue dating them if you truly just want to be in a relationship with only one of them. It may be difficult to let your girlfriends know that you don’t want to see them anymore, but it will allow them to move on with their own lives and search out relationships of their own. It will also help you to be frank with the girl that you’ve chosen to be with, so you can let her know that you’ve decided you want to be with her and only her. A break up is a difficult thing and you’ll have more than one on your hands, but that’s one of the caveats of having multiple girlfriends. You may also want to give yourself some time apart from your chosen significant other – if you had any emotional attachments to the other women you were with, you’re going to have some post-break up blues for a little while. You don’t want to let your significant other see the emotions you have about breaking up with the other women because she may doubt that you made the right choice and that you want to be with her and only her.

Top 10 First Date Ideas – Where To Go & What To Do

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 01 Jan 2011 14:00:37 +0000

Coming up with original first date ideas isn’t easy. You’re looking for something that isn’t cliche, something sweet and fun with just a hint of romance and sexual tension. You want everything to be perfect! Dinner and a movie is played out, so here are some amazing and unique first date ideas that you can use to “wow” your date and get a second date before the first one is even over!

Take A Ride At The Amusement Park

Who doesn’t love the nostalgic feeling of eating cotton candy and riding the rides at an amusement park? This is an excellent opportunity for flirting like you’re both teenagers again. Bonus points if you win her a stuffed animal from one of the carnival games.

Have A Lunch Date

Dinner is cliche, but having a lunch date isn’t! It’s a casual way to get to know someone, without the pressures that an intimate, romantic dinner on a first date can bring. If there’s chemistry there, you can take a longer lunch or extend the date – but if there’s none, a quick lunch is a great excuse to keep it short and sweet.

Learning Something New Together

Taking a class with someone you’re interested in is a great first date idea. Learning something new together is a great way to bond emotionally and to discover the chemistry between you two.

The Beach Or Lake

A romantic walk on a moonlit beach is every girl’s fantasy, but make sure to keep your eyes on her and not on the other eye candy that might be strolling around on the sand. This is a great way to turn a simple date into something much, much more.

Pool, Golf, Or Game Of Your Choice

A little friendly, flirty competition may be exactly what you need to secure a second date. Don’t forget to make a wager – loser takes the winner out for dinner next time.

Wine Tasting

Going wine tasting gives you a legitimate reason to have a few drinks to help your first date nerves! It’s also a great way to experience and taste new wines and cheeses and is a great date for two people who truly enjoy wine. Bonus points for finding a special new wine that becomes “our wine.”

Take Her Bowling

Bowling is great way to check out just how competitive he is! Whether you are any good at it or not, it is a laid back activity that gives you a chance to have a laugh together and relax. It’s great for a bit of flirting and he can use his manly skills to show you just how it’s done.

Head Out For A Bike Ride

Free, fun activities are great first date ideas in the credit crunch and enjoying the outdoors is one of the best. Unlike going for a long walk, a bike ride means you don’t have the pressure of having to find constant conversation. Take a picnic and stop for some nice leisurely breaks together when you want to talk and get to know each other.

Go For Dessert

When money is tight, there should always still be room for dessert, so why not make it the highlight of the night? It is a bit more fun and quirky than going for dinner, it makes for a cheap first date, and there is less pressure to find enough conversation to fill three courses. It’s also super romantic and sexy because you can feed each other small bites of the most decadent pies and cakes!

Roller Skating Or Ice Skating

Roller skating or ice skating makes for an excellent first date, especially if one of you is better than the other at the activity. “Teach” your partner how to roller or ice skate, or let them teach you! This is a romantic way to bond and you’ll probably end up in each other’s arms (and on the ground) more than once!

Go Scuba Diving Or Snorkeling

Scuba diving or snorkeling is a completely unique first date idea. If you live nearby an ocean or beach, explore the fish, coral reefs and marine life together. You won’t have the pressure of making a ton of conversation (because you’ll be underwater most of the time), but there will be plenty of time to connect with each other before the swim and after. You’ll also get to check out each other in your bathing suits! Bring a picnic lunch or dinner just in case everything goes well – besides, you’ll both be hungry after the swim!

Best Dating Tips Of 2010

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 14:00:32 +0000

Dating is intimidating, to say the least. Learning how to date successfully takes more than just asking a girl or guy out. In fact, many men and women have given up on the “dating game” all together simply because it can be extremely difficult to snag a date – and often, the repeated rejection hurts. If you’re having trouble getting a date, it’s most likely not because you’re “undateable.” In fact, quite the opposite!

Dating doesn’t come naturally – most successful daters have been doing it for awhile and have learned from their mistakes. If you want to be good at it, you have to not only learn the correct techniques to use (what to say and when to say it), but you also have to practice! Practice, of course, makes perfect. It’s not about pick up lines or how “suave” you are or even how good looking you are.

Getting a date is much more about being real and connecting with someone with whom you have chemistry. Finding this person, however, can be the hard part. Here are our top dating tips of the past year – use them to create a new year’s dating plan!

3 Rude Things To Say To A Woman You Just Met

Vin DiCarlo — Tue, 21 Dec 2010 23:00:55 +0000

When flirting, do you have to compliment a woman you just met to succesfully get a date? Not always. Do you think jerks, bad boys or the other guys she falls for tell her how beautiful and perfect she is?

They catch her attention by saying something “out of left field.” Sometimes it’s even downright RUDE! And in this article, you’ll discover three of these “Rude” things you can say to a woman to grab her full attention.

You’ll find out how to follow them up with a compliment or just small talk to win her heart. And you’ll be able to walk right up to a beautiful woman, grab her full attention in two sentences and be just one step away from getting her phone number. (Especially if you know her already)

Here’s exactly what you gotta say:

“Whoa. You Can’t Just Do That…”

Guaranteed to stop a woman in her tracks. You’d say this to a woman you see on the street, or sit next to on the subway, or even a woman you see shopping for clothes at the mall. You can use this flirting technique on women who are working, or women you work with. Even with college students or women you see everyday. The “trick” here is to follow it up with a compliment about something she’s doing. For example:

“Whoa. You can’t just do that.” “What?” “When you walk in here smiling like that, I lose my whole train of thought”
“Whoa. You can’t just do that.” “What?” “Your smile is too pretty to walk right by me without saying hi.”
“Whoa. You can’t just do that.” “What?” “Something about your energy is messing with me. I can’t take my eyes off of you.”

You get the idea, right? Of course – you’re catching her attention with a kind of rude sentence, then flipping it around to a positive compliment. You’ll have her full attention and the SURPRISE sexual attraction she gets when she meets someone truly charming.

“I Can’t Believe You Just Did That!”

You want to use this one after she DOES something. Your goal here is to make her think, “Wait. Did I just do something embarrassing or wrong?” And it’s OK to make her think this because you’re about to make her feel good with a compliment.

Here are some examples:

“I can’t believe you just did that.” “Did what?” “The way you looked at me made my heart skip a few beats. What’s your name?”
“I can’t believe you just did that.” “Did what?” “Walked right by me without apologizing.” “For what?” “For having such a great smile, I forgot everything I was thinking about.”
“I can’t believe you just did that.” “Did what?” “The way you move has almost a hypnotizing effect. And for a split second, every single person in this room was looking at you. What’s your name?”

And this time, we added a second step to the pick up line. Sometimes, this step was to ask her for her name. (This lets you transition into small talk easier) And once, you made the tension even greater, by adding another “rude” statement in the middle.

Now you’re starting to see how powerful this type of flirting really is.

“Are You Seriously Going To Do That?”

You know the drill by now – make her freeze up, then give her a compliment. So let’s see how you’d use this “rude” statement:

“Are you seriously going to do that?” “Do what?” “Walk right by me without saying hi.” (This one should be done with a smile and a playful, flirting attitude.
“Are you seriously going to do that?” “Do what?” “Walk right by me without saying hi.” She laughs “What’s your name?”

In this example, you “evolve” one of these rude statements into a conversation.

First, it’s just the “rude” statement and a teasing compliment. (This is like flirting, or bantering with her.)

Second, you ask “What’s your name?” to add some small talk. Third, you tell her your name, and then ask her what she’s up to. This way, you get her name (she’ll tell you because you told her) and you’re on a better small talk conversation.

Dating Tips: How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 19 Dec 2010 14:00:16 +0000

When dating, it can be easy to get stuck in the “friend zone” with a girl you’re actually romantically interested in. Things are going great, but before you know it, you’re more like best friends than a couple. Here’s how you can get out of the friend zone and start dating your love interest in a romantic way – it’s all about changing the current dynamics of the relationship. Sometimes it’s a little risky, but in the end, it will pay off!

Date Other Women

Dating other women and creating a little “friendly competition” is a great way to break out of the friend zone. A woman who consideres you a really good friend may realize that she likes you as more than that once you start dating someone else. A fair number of women (in fact, a lot of them) tend to want what they “can’t” have. Before, she didn’t see a need to start dating you because you were available to her and gave her the emotional intimacy she wanted in a friendship type relationship. However, when you start dating someone else, she will miss that connection you two had and be a little jealous of the girl you’re dating, prompting her to make a move and ask you out.

Plan Something Crazy – Then Kiss Her

Take some time to plan a great date doing something amazing. Plan a trip to an amusement park, go ice skating or do something else super fun and a little crazy. Right when she’s having an awesome time and is filled with happy, positive emotions, you’re going to lean in and kiss her. Kissing her at the perfect moment is going to do one of two things. It will most likely turn into a great kiss and make her realize she has romantic feelings for you – or, she’ll simply let you know that she’s not interested in being more than friends with you. However, if you play your cards right and make your first move at the perfect time and place, she will be much more likely to accept your invitation for a romantic relationship. If you’ve been friends for a long time, you may be tempted to use this opportunity to tell her you love her. Avoid this at all costs! You don’t want to overwhelm her by confessing that you’re in love with her or have loved her for a long time. Instead, just leave it open ended. Establish that you both have romantic feelings for each other and then just continue having a great time! You can talk about being in love or being in a relationship later – much later.

Stop Confiding In Her

To get out of the friend zone, you must first figure out how you got there in the first place. The most common way that guys get stuck in a friendship type relationship rather than a romantic one is they start confiding their own problems in their love interests and offering a shoulder to cry on for her when she’s talking about her problems. This is a great way to build an intimate friendship, but women with “guy friends” like this will only ever see them as friends and not in a romantic way. What you need to do is stop confiding in her – when you go out with her, instead of having a “talk” or discussion, practice flirting and having a good time. Show her that you enjoy flirting with her and want to be romantic with her.

How To Downplay It If She’s Not Interested

If you find out she’s not interested in you that way, you may be scared that you’re going to lose the friendship. This is actually a huge reason that many guys won’t let a girl know they’re into them romantically – because they’re not only scared of rejection, but they’re also scared of losing any relationship they have with their girl at all. Whether she stays friends with you after she declines your offer for a romantic relationship isn’t up to her – it’s up to you. Just don’t let it get weird! Go back to doing the same things you were before and simply say, “You can’t blame a guy for trying.” Because you really can’t!

5 Awkward Ways To Flirt With A Woman

Vin DiCarlo — Thu, 16 Dec 2010 23:00:37 +0000

Have you ever felt “awkward” flirting with a girl you like? Maybe you felt like you said the wrong thing at the wrong time – or maybe, you couldn’t think of anything to say, at all!

Bad news is, you’ll probably be in that situation AGAIN, if it’s happened to you, once. Trust me, I’m an expert on these kind situations. Until ten years ago, every single second of my life was a strange situation. That’s why I discovered 5 things I could do to use my quirkiness when flirting with women I liked.

And in this article, you’ll discover 5 tips to flirt with a woman YOU like. You’ll discover how to turn your mind going “blank” into a real asset, and you’ll become miles more attractive to the women you like, without doing any extra work, yourself.

Let me show you exactly what I mean.

Send Her A Stuffed Animal

No, not after you’ve started dating. That’s way too smooth. Instead, you’re going to send her a stuffed animal after your very first date. Or maybe before your first date!

Here’s exactly, step by step, the tricks to making this flirt work:

Somehow talk about how she wants a puppy or kitten (Hint: Every single girl alive has some sort of desire for a puppy or a kitten, even if it’s just for the future)
Get her to name it.
Buy a stuffed puppy or kitten.
Give it a collar with X name.
Give it to her, next time you hang out.

You’ll earn MASSIVE flirting points. Here’s why it works: Not only did you remember exactly what she said (you used her name, to prove you were listening) but also, you took time out for romance.

If this doesn’t melt your woman’s heart, her heart is made of ice.

Have A Friend Tell Her You Like Her

Welcome to the fourth grade again. Please take a seat.

So you want to be a little quirky and still be good at flirting with women, huh? This is about as weird as it gets: Making your friend ask the girl you like whether she likes you or not.

The trick here is the timing. And if you get this right, you can practically guarantee she’s going to fall in love with you.

Wait until the answer is “Yes.” This usually means waiting until after you two have sex a few times.
REMEMBER: There’s no reason to stop flirting with your partner, after sex.
Have your friend ask a funny, but easy question. “My friend wants to know if you think he’s cute” comes to mind.
When he asks, be right there, standing on the other side of the room.

She’ll look at you, you’ll look back, and she’ll laugh hysterically. And you’ve successfully turned a VERY odd technique into a very successful way to flirt with a lady.

Now, you’re going to start to get a little more devious….

Make Fun Of Her

What’s the most strange way to flirt with a girl? Ruthlessly making fun of her, of course! We used to do it when we were children - in adults, it’s commonly known as “Jersey Shore Syndrome” and It’s one of the BEST things you can do to tease and flirt with a lady you just met.

Here are the three things you MUST keep in mind, to successfully make fun of someone you like:

Don’t pull your punches. Make sure you really make it silly. If she’s reading a comic book, say, “I can see you’ve got great taste in literature.”
Do it all serious. Straight face. Eye contact. Just a HINT of a smile. You really want her to buy it.
Play the waiting game. She’s gonna try to test you, by taking a few seconds to laugh, herself. Count to three in your head and then you can start to smile.

She’ll smile along with you, then laugh along with you, and most of the time, a joke like this will get you a laugh and a pat on the arm. You know what it means when she laughs AND touches you, right? It means she’s flirting with you! Mission accomplished.

Dress Up And Play Pretend Together

Imagine walking up to a woman and asking her, “Would you like to play dolls with me?” That’s the definition of a weird moment. Yet, playing pretend and acting out fantasies with a woman you’re dating is a sure-fire way to win her heart.

So what’s the difference? And how do you make role-playing an “adult” game? Here are the secrets:

Don’t ask her to play along. Just start fantasizing with her. For example, if you both see a great travel poster or advertisement, turn to her and say: “Baby, I’m so glad you’re here on vacation with me in ”
She’ll either play along, or not quite get it yet. If she doesn’t play along, just keep with it. You want to treat her like she’s missing out on an inside joke.
When she picks it up, keep on role playing together. You do this by acting like you’re somewhere else, together. So simply describe what you see, feel and feel like.

Want to know a dirty trick? A trick to make your role playing make her fall in a whole ‘nother level of love for you? Role play as if you two are “old lovers,” finally meeting after a long time apart. So pretend you were childhood sweethearts who lost each other, but finally got back together.

You can do this by simply acting “as if.” Imagine what you would do if you were on a vacation with a long lost lover of your own, then simply act it out.

Women can’t get enough of this stuff. And the men she knows don’t do it, EVER.

Let Her Win – And Embarrass Her For It!

Not only should you let her win at pool, or whatever other game you two are playing together, you should let her win – and make sure she knows it!

Because there’s nothing crazier than saying, “Yeah, you won because I let you win” unless it’s actually the truth.

Here’s how to pull this flirting move off:

Pick a game where skill – not luck – is what you need to win. Pool comes to mind, because it’s physical, you can tease her by messing with her balls, etc.
Make sure you’re better than her at the game.
Win until the very last ball. Hopefully, by now, you’ll have a few ball lead, and then…
Blow it all. Jokingly miss shots until she wins the game!

Here’s the kicker: When she wins, you don’t want to say, “I let you win.” Instead, you want to say, “Baby, you won! Look how good you did.” And laugh and flirt together over it. Because if you do this right, you’ll be laughing together from the very first second you start missing shots until she – FINALLY – wins the game.

It’s a great way to bond and a fun means of flirting. If she doesn’t play punch you after this, she doesn’t have a funny bone in her body.

Long Term Relationships: How To Keep The Romance Alive

Andrew Wang — Tue, 14 Dec 2010 23:00:50 +0000

Long term relationships are the hardest relationships in which you can help the the romance stay alive. But whether you’ve been together for one year or fifty, it’s important to make sure that there is some element of romance in your relationship. Life often intervenes in the form of work, children, and other stressors, but you can’t let that stop you from dedicating time to your significant other. You may not be able to date with the frequency of your early relationship days, but a little effort here and there can go a long way toward getting your spark back. That’s important, because boredom and disconnect can lead to arguments, and have been the end of many long term relationships.

Having Romance Takes Effort

You might not have the time to spend on your long term relationships that you once did, or perhaps you’ve just grown complacent as the years have passed on. That doesn’t mean you should just throw in the towel. Instead, make the best of what time you’ve got. It might sound cliché, but establishing a date night once every few weeks can be a big help. Once you’ve got a date and time picked out, come up with a really fun date idea. Think back to your favorite dates when you were first together. Did you have a particularly great time that night you went bowling? Was there a restaurant you used to love going to that you stopped visiting once you had kids? Recreating an old date not only shows your sweetie how thoughtful you are, but it can also put some spring back into your step. You’ll remember all of the best parts of your early days, and that will put both of you in a great mood.

Other Ways To Keep The Love Alive

Planning the occasional date isn’t the only way to help your love stay alive. Regular physical affection is important, too. Never underestimate the power of impromptu hand-holding, hugging and kissing. It may be a small gesture to momentarily rub your partner’s shoulders after they’ve had a rough day, but it shows you care. Human beings need physical contact with other human beings, and making that connection will make both of you feel happier. Plus, you never know when a shoulder massage or particularly good kiss will lead to more. Sex is a very important part of long term relationships or marriage. If you feel that you and your significant other have had less and less of it lately, take action. Even if you’re feeling a little tired, attempt to go for it anyway. Usually once things get rolling, you’ll find you’re not so tired anymore. The more often you do it, the more often you’ll want it, and vice versa. Therefore the best way to have more sex is to stop fretting about not having it, and just start doing it again. Talk to you partner, too. Mention that you’d like to start spicing things up again, but do so in a non-accusatory way. Nine times out of ten, they’ll be glad you brought it up.

Loving Gestures

Aside from showing physical affection and working dates back into your routine, there are other ways to make sure your long term relationships stay interesting. Small but thoughtful gestures show your significant other that you’re thinking of them. Bring home flowers or a bottle of good wine for no particular reason other than to show you care. If your sweetheart’s had a bad day, offer to engage in one of their favorite activities together. If that means watching their favorite terrible movie, just go with it. Demonstrating your support and love is worth two hours of viewing a bad film. That can be all it takes to remind your S.O. of why they fell for you in the first place.

Ultimately, if you’re willing to put in a little time and effort now and again, you can make things interesting for years to come in your long term relationships. Do your best to remind yourself of everything you love about your partner, then use your actions to remind them of why they love you. That’s the best way to light up the fires at the home.

The 5 Hardest Ways To Get A One Night Stand

Vin DiCarlo — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 14:00:41 +0000

Sex – sometimes you just want to have it with no strings attached. Truth is, sometimes women feel the exact same way.

In fact, there are just as many WOMEN out looking for a one night stand as MEN out looking for a one night stand. So why is it so damn tough to hook up? It’s because you’re looking in the wrong place!

So in this article, you’ll discover the 5 most popular places most men go to have a one night stand and why they’re the TOUGHEST places in the whole world to meet a girl.

Sports Bars/Watering Holes

You figure: Well, since it’s a bar, not a club, the people are more laid back and relaxed. The girls are more open to sex. And I feel comfortable here. This should be easy.

The reality: Bars are the TOUGHEST place to pick up ladies for a one night stand. Why?

Her friends are here, watching her. They’ll judge her if she goes home with a guy.
Other people see her here every week, and if she goes home with you, she’ll seem like a slut.
She probably just wants to hang out and grab a drink with a few friends, not get approached by some horny stranger.

So if you’re trying to meet women at a bar, for a one night stand, you’ve got your work cut out for you.

How can you increase your chances of having sex? Imagine you know her from high school, and approach her that way. No, don’t say it – just think it.

For example: You approach with a friendly energy, like you already know her. You jump into the conversation, instead of starting a new one. And you talk to her AND her friends, before you pull her away.

Dance Clubs

You figure: Girls say they go to clubs to “dance with their friends.” That’s got to be bullshit. The only reason a woman would get dressed up like that and get that drunk is if she wanted to meet guys.

The reality: Some girls – a lot of them – actually go to clubs to dance with their friends. I wouldn’t believe it either, if my girlfriend didn’t head out every couple of weeks to dance with her friends, then come home, alone, and still stone sober.

So what you didn’t realize is THOSE ladies don’t want to be bothered. The same way you wouldn’t want to be bothered if you were hanging out with your friends at a bar. However, there’s probably an obstacle you DIDN’T predict:

“The Club Scene” has it’s own rules and culture. If you’re not in it, you stick out like a sore thumb.
The hottest women in the clubs are ALL in “the club scene,” and know all the “club scene” people at that club. If YOU aren’t in “the scene,” she can’t go home with you. It’s MAJOR negative points to her credibility in “The Scene.”

So have you ever wondered how come the HOTTEST girls in any given club just blow guys off, left and right? It’s not necessarily because she’s a bitch. It’s because going home with someone who’s not in “the scene” would ruin her social life, for good.

How can you fix that? Become part of “the scene.” Then you can flirt with her and take her home because you’re part of the crowd. Honestly though, unless you already enjoy going out clubbing 5-7 nights a week, this “scene” probably isn’t for you.

Meeting Women Online

You figure: Lots of hot women don’t like bars and clubs, and with all the Match.com advertisements, there must be plenty of chicks online. I’ve got cool interests, this should be easy.

The reality: Ever been at a party with two guys for every girl? It’s tough as hell to meet those chicks, because everybody and their brother is fighting for their attention. In the same way YOU would get tons of attention, if you took a baking or cooking class with a bunch of women. Girls at male dominated parties all of the sudden have choice, selection and power.

Now, imagine if that party had 6 or 7 men for every single attractive woman. That’s exactly what the online dating ratio is like because commercials on TV suck in average men like you and me. But the women come at a much slower pace. And the hot ones leave, right away, when they see the creepy messages they get.

This means women who date online are:

Bombarded with messages. Want to see how many? Open a fake account using profile pictures from a hot friend of yours, or woman you know. See what messages you get from guys.
Drunk with power. Imagine if every time YOU logged into an internet dating website, there were 30 messages waiting for you.
These women are itching for a man to commit to a long, steady relationship – before – she has sex with him.

If you’re looking for a one night stand, close your computer. It won’t do you any good.

Strip Clubs

You figure: Ladies who work in strip clubs must be super sexy, and easy. They take their clothes off for money, for crying out loud!

The reality: Strippers have the most “game” out of any woman alive. Their jobs REQUIRE them to milk as much money out of you as possible. This doesn’t make them “evil” women – no, no. This makes them good at their profession.

This also means:

Any affection you get from a stripper is probably trying to get money from you. Lots of teasing, lots of flirting, and all of it leading to more expensive, private dances.
Most offers to come home with you aren’t on the “up and up” if you catch my drift.
Finally, strippers – like “club girls” – have their own sets of dating and sex rules. Many far too complicated to mention, here.

So if you want to date – or sleep with – a stripper, you’ve got your work cut out for you. A one night stand? You’re barking up one of the TOUGHEST trees out there, partner.

Giving Your Ex A Booty Call

You figure: You already had sex with your ex-girlfriend. She always said it was good. And since she’s still single, maybe she’d like to come over to bump uglies.

The reality: Your timing is probably not the best, because you’re somewhat “desperate” for sex. And she can smell that on you, coming from a mile away. So if you finally get the booty call, here’s what you can expect:

Lots of her trying to be “in the right” for your breakup.
Lots of blame games, bullshit and fighting.
Her pretending to be “disgusted” that you still want sex.

Let’s say you two DO hop in the sack. You’ll probably start to build a relationship again. Probably one that’s got SERIOUS flaws. And definitely not a one night stand.

The Easiest Place To Have A One Night Stand

It’s very simple: Anywhere you can meet a woman, during the day. Because when you meet women during the day, she’s not expecting there to be a sexual spark. When there is, she’s got less “shields” up against you. Mostly because this has never happened to her, before.

And she’ll be excited to try something new.

Date Ideas: Inexpensive Yet Impressive

Andrew Wang — Thu, 09 Dec 2010 14:00:35 +0000

It’s difficult to come up with date ideas that don’t put a hurt on your wallet, especially in today’s economy. If you’ve checked out a news website, turned on the TV, or picked up a paper, you’re probably aware that the economy isn’t doing so great at the moment. Whether you’ve lost your job or are just trying to save some extra money, you shouldn’t let your dating world crumble just to pinch a few pennies. In fact, it’s possible to woo your significant other on a budget, as long as you’re willing to get creative and plan ahead. You may even find that your date is more impressed with your clever plans than he or she would be with a pricey restaurant dinner.

Planning Ahead

You can make up for what you’re financially lacking, if you’re willing to put some thought into your dating plans. If you’re looking to get out of the house, start combing the internet for ideas. You’d be surprised at how many discounted and free events there are out there. If you live near a major city, publications like Time Out (either on the web or in magazine form) can be a great reference point. If you don’t, there are plenty of other similar publications and websites out there that can help. Your local newspaper probably has a nightlife or upcoming events section.

You can also go straight to the source. Try searching the internet for nearby places of interest to see if they have any discounts or special events listed on their websites. Taking your partner to half price night at your local museum or zoo for a first date is a lot more interesting than dinner and a movie. If you and your significant other are sports fans, look to see if there’s a minor league team near you. Tickets are often much more affordable, and you can enjoy discovering a new team together.

Search bars and venues for free or cheap music performances by local acts. You can still enjoy the feel of catching live music without paying the big bucks for tickets to a major artist’s concert. Some bars and restaurants also host free tasting nights or have special brunch, lunch or dinner deals well worth investigating. Sign up for email newsletters from all of these places, and you’ll always be in the loop on their discounts and freebies.

Head Outdoors

Heading out into the great outdoors can be another low or no cost alternative to traditional date ideas. Go for a walk in your local park or take a picnic there. Better yet, find a nearby place for a hike and make a day of it. You’ll get to enjoy nature, each other’s company, and a little exercise. If you and your date are sporty types, meet up for a game of one-on-one basketball when it’s warm out or go ice skating when it’s cold (save even more if you both own your own skates).

If you’re a pair of do-gooders, try volunteering together. A lot of parks and/or beaches need people to help with seasonal gardening and clean up. If you’re not outdoorsy, try volunteering for another cause you both believe in. Animal lovers can spend an afternoon helping out at a shelter or pet adoption fair. If you’re both bookworms, consider volunteering to read stories to kids at your local library or hospital. Doing good while flirting and chatting with your partner will let your sweetie see you in a whole new light while putting you both in a great mood.

A Date Doesn’t Have To Be Expensive To Be Fun

As you can see, there are so many options out there for fun but affordable dates. A little research can save you big bucks and win you lots of points with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Plus, if all else fails, you can always fall back on an old dating standby—dinner at your place, cooked with love by you.

4 Romantic Things To Do For Your Boyfriend

Jessica Perez — Tue, 07 Dec 2010 14:00:00 +0000

Romance becomes passé when the relationship has hit a plateau. If you’re wondering when this happens, here are some hints that the relationship is heading toward a rut:

You act like strangers around each other.
You become too lazy to have sex with your partner.
Everything your partner does seems irritating.
When you make love, your partner does the same thing, whether or not you are enjoying it.

While situations vary among couples, there are some similarities. The relationship is becoming monotonous and the spark is dying. Before your connection with your partner gets damaged any further, try the following.

Celebrate “His” Day

Once a month, you can designate a day when he can become king for 24 hours. Do it in “his-and-hers” fashion to be fair. On his special day, he can have an erotic massage, be served breakfast in bed and be the passive partner during sex. The same should apply when it’s your turn. You may want to wait until his birthday comes around before you do something special. With this gesture, you can make sure that you remind your partner that you’re a couple every once in a while.

Celebrate Your Anniversary – By The Month

This may seem corny (and often, expensive), but reminding each other how long you have been together may help you both understand that you’re in it for the long haul. Also, remembering that times when you were still dating may help improve your romance and how you treat each other. Bake a cake or bring home something special during that day. Make sure it’s something you don’t usually do. If he’s into pasta, make a full-course dinner with pasta as the main dish. If he’s into grilling, you can prepare a week in advance and plan a grill-fest on your month anniversary.

Kinky Thoughts

When you’re just lazing about on a weekend night and relaxing together, you can talk to him about your sex fantasies. Tell him what turns you on, and if he doesn’t take the hint, load the video that got you turned on so he can see for himself.

A perverted train of thought is usually associated with males, which makes it a surprising novelty when the woman starts showing signs of being kinky. But remember to act on your fantasies as soon as you mention them. Talking is the way to begin a kinky night of fantasizing with your partner. But you have to act on one of your fantasies that night, or the gesture is wasted. Simply saying “let’s try it” will get him going.

Encourage Him To Talk Dirty

Sometimes, men are hesitant to talk dirty during sex for fear of offending the woman. This hesitation is present whether or not you’re married. What you can do is to encourage him to talk sexy to you, just to push him in the right direction. After that, you can reciprocate and talk in the same manner to let him know you’re ok with dirty talk.

Dating Tips: How To Ask a Girl Out – In Person, On the Phone, Or Text

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 06 Dec 2010 14:00:19 +0000

Dating can be very frustrating for guys… Most guys are completely lost on how to ask a girl out. It can be intimidating to say the least, even if you know what you’re doing. Many guys avoid dating all together because they either don’t know what to say or they’re afraid of getting rejected. Instead of worrying about what you’re going to say or what’s going to happen, have a game plan. Here’s how – in person, on the phone or via text!

Find Out If She Actually Likes You

Many guys make this fatal dating mistake – instead of paying attention to which girls seem to like them “that way,” they simply make a move on whoever they think is the cutest or looks like they might go home with them that night. This is not the best way get a “yes” for that first date!

Instead, look for the girls that appear interested in you romantically. (These are the girls you should be dating…)

Does she smile at you a lot?
Laugh at your jokes, even when they’re not funny?
Touch you a lot on the arm or leg while you’re talking?
Brush up against you
Look at you but then look away quickly if she’s caught?
Make excuses to be around you?

Pay A Compliment

Women love compliments. They’re a great way to break the ice and get her intrigued. However, lame compliments aren’t really going to get you anywhere. If a girl is really good looking, she’s going to hear from every guy about how pretty she is or how good she looks in whatever she’s wearing. She’ll even get those corny pick-up lines that nobody supposedly uses anymore. So if you really want her attention, you’ll need to come up with something creative and different.

A creative compliment is a key component of getting that first date and one of the best dating tips you’ll here anywhere, so take head. Compliment her on something smart that she said or did, or find another way to compliment her intelligence. You can also compliment something she’s passionate about – such as animal rights – and let her know that you think it’s really cool. Just be real instead of throwing a cheap compliments.

Get To Know A Little About Her

A lot of guys critical dating strategy. If they’re not sure how to take that first step, they’ll start talking about themselves – their job, their friends, their hobbies, etc. She doesn’t want to sit there and listen to you talk only about yourself! You’ll get much farther if you talk about her and get to know a little bit about her. Find out what music she’s interested in or if she has a pet cat or dog. Find out what her hobbies are, if she enjoys watching new movies or if she’s very athletic and likes to participate in sports. This will not only help you get to know her and make her feel like you’re really interested and value what she has to say, it will also give you date ideas for the first date. If she has a dog, offer to go to the new dog park or if she enjoys sports, go hiking or bike riding. Tailoring your dating invitation to what she enjoys and likes to do is more likely to win you a “yes” than a “no.”

Offer A Casual Invitation

Some dating tips are complete bunk and others actually have some value to them. This unique dating tip has been proven to work time and again, so give it a try! Offer her a casual invitation to the movies, dinner, the dog park or wherever you want go. Arrange beforehand to get an “unexpected call” or having to go somewhere where you won’t be able to get calls or texts for awhile. Let her know that you really want to take her out, but you’ll have to get her number and call her back to arrange a time and place. This will allow her some time to think over the invitation without feeling like she’s been put on the spot.

Be A Gentleman If She Turns You Down

If she turns you down for a first date, don’t be annoying by asking again and again. That’s one trap far too many guys fall into – if she says no, she means no! Give her your number and let her know that if things change in the future to give you a call. You may end up with a really great friend in the process – and it may turn into something more later!

Marriage – I Don’t Ever Want To Get Married!!!

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 04 Dec 2010 14:00:58 +0000

Marriage is a big decision, one that involves lots of thought and preparation. Even if you love someone a great deal, you may not be ready to get married – and many couples choose to simply stay in a long term, committed relationship without ever taking that “next step” to seal the deal. If you decide that you don’t ever want to get married, your family and friends may be shocked or upset. Here’s how to let your family know that marriage isn’t for you.

Question: Hi Dan and Jennifer, please help me. I am already 18 now and I’m afraid that my parents will be bringing up the “marriage issue” in a couple years. I don’t want to get married, not EVER!!! How do I avoid coming across this conversation in my life?

–YouTube Viewer

Dealing With The Issue Beforehand

Don’t wait to let the people that are important to you in your life know that you don’t ever plan to get married. Waiting until you’re in a long term relationship with someone that they would expect you to take the next step with to let them know that marriage isn’t something you want in your life may make things awkward when you visit your family with your partner in tow. Instead, let them know as soon as you decide that getting married isn’t your cup of tea. This may be when you’re young or even after you’ve finished school and have moved on into a career, but either way, it’s important to let your family know that a wedding isn’t in your future as soon as you decide that it isn’t.

Be Honest With Your Parents

You may be worried that your parents or your family are going to be extremely upset with you or angry that you don’t want to ever be a part of a marriage. This may lead you to believe that if you simply don’t tell them about it that you’re in the clear. This couldn’t be further from the truth! Your family loves you no matter what, so just be honest with them about what you want for your life and where you see your life going in the future. Let them know that you’re totally open to falling in love and being in a committed, long term relationship, but having a “dream wedding” isn’t one of your dreams.

Reserve The Right To Change Your Mind

You absolutely have the right to change your mind at any point during your lifetime. If you decide that you don’t want to get married now, but meet the person you want to live the rest of your life with and really want to wed them, it’s totally okay to change your mind and start planning the nuptials. If you decide later on that you do want to get married, you don’t have to not get married just because you said you didn’t want to earlier in your life. When talking to your family about your feelings towards marriage, let them know that you don’t ever see yourself having a wedding at this point, but you have the right to change your mind in the future if you meet someone that you really adore and want to get hitched.

It’s Probably Not Going To Be As Bad As You Think

If you’re young now, you may think that you’ll never want to get married and marriage is for saps. You’re probably eager to announce that you’ll never be caught dead in a tux or wedding dress and couples who get married just end up getting a divorce later anyways. The truth is, the idea of marriage probably isn’t as bad as you think it is. There are a lot of stereotypes when it comes to getting married and it’s easy to have misconceptions about what being in a marriage is really like. It’s nothing at all like you see on television or the movies and being married is a wonderful and satisfying part of many people’s lives. As you get older, you may discover that the idea of marriage wasn’t as bad as you thought it was. This is especially true if you meet someone that you really do want to spend the rest of your life with. If you decide now that you don’t want to get married, that’s your prerogative. If you live your life never being part of a marriage, that’s also your prerogative. If you decide later on that you do want to get married, that too, is your prerogative. Remember that the kind of life you live is totally up to you!

Dating Tips: The Pros And Cons Of Age Differences

Andrew Wang — Fri, 03 Dec 2010 23:00:08 +0000

In a time when age differences (so-called cougars and cubs) are as common as May-December relationships, large age differences are a regular part of dating. Everyone is familiar with the concept of the older man or woman, but that doesn’t mean that stereotypes for these kinds of relationships aren’t still going strong. Not only will you have to deal with these stereotypes, but you’ll also have to address the very real problems that can occur in these relationships. As things become more serious between you and your partner, you may find that weighing the pros and cons can help you decide if your romance can go the distance despite your differing ages.

Cons Of Relationship With A Large Age Difference

Many of the problems that arise in a partnership with large age differences are direct results of the aforementioned societal stereotypes. Family members, friends and colleagues may have no problem telling you that they disapprove of your relationship. If you’re an older woman with a younger man, many people may openly criticize you on the assumption that you’re only in it for sex. Your partner could easily find himself labeled your boy-toy. If you’re a younger woman with an older man, your peers and parents may feel that he’s taking advantage of your youthful naïveté. Of course, they’ll also think he’s a totally lecherous hound who will inevitably dump you for a younger woman. Sometimes these stereotypes turn out to be true, but whether they apply or not, all the negative talk can take an emotional toll on your relationship.

Other Things To Consider

There are weightier problems to consider, too. As the younger half of the relationship, are you prepared for the strong possibility that you will outlive your partner by many years? Do you want to have children of your own, but your older partner is done with their child-rearing years? Is it incredibly awkward for either of you when you’re among your mate’s same-aged friends? Should any of these be a deal breaker, it’s best that you’re honest with your partner about your feelings. You may find that ending the relationship now saves you both from more pain in the future.

Benefits Of A Relationship With A Large Age Difference

However, there are also many benefits to being in a relationship marked by age differences. If you can get past the issues above, you could reap a lot of joy. Some people are truly old souls or young at heart, so they’re better off with an older or younger partner than someone closer to their age. As the younger half of the duo, you can learn much from the wisdom and experience of your older love. If you’re the older member of the relationship, having someone younger in your life could help keep you more active and youthful. Sometimes your biggest differences can keep your relationship that much more interesting.

In the end, no matter how large the age gap, what really matters is that you love each other. If you’re having a good time and things feel right between you, you’ll be able to weather the stereotyping and conquer your problems. After all, age is just a number.

Dating Tips For Women – How To Get A Date

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 28 Nov 2010 14:00:45 +0000

Here are 5 great dating tips for women to help you get that first date without making yourself look desperate – or like a dud!

Let’s face it – guys aren’t always so quick on the uptake when it comes to realizing that a girl likes them. If you wait around for a man to make the first move, you may be waiting quite awhile for that first date. So don’t be afraid to take the initiative, make the first move and ask him for a date.

Tip #1 – Suggest A Group Date

One of the best dating tips I can give you is to invite him out on a group date. Some guys don’t like the pressure of a one on one dating situation, and that may be why he hasn’t made the first move yet. He may be thinking he has to take you out to a movie or dinner for that first date, and he may not be ready to deal with that level of dating intimacy yet.

Group date ideas can take some of the pressure off him. Suggest a group date with you, him and some other mutual friends to do something fun like laser tag or paintball. He’ll be more inclined to accept the offer if it seems more like just a bunch of friends hanging out rather than an actual first date, but you’ll still get to spend time together, enjoy some sexy flirting, and see if there is any chemistry between the two of you.

Tip #2 – Hint At Something You Want To Do

Another great dating tip is to learn how to give him hints and gentle nudges in the direction you would like him to go.

Sometimes guys lock up and won’t ask a girl out because they’re just not sure what to suggest doing on the first date. He doesn’t know what you like or don’t like, and for all he knows, he may be inviting a vegetarian out to dinner at the best steakhouse in town. So if he’s been eyeing you all evening and hasn’t made a move yet, he may be afraid of refection if he suggests an idea that you wouldn’t like or would think is lame.

Instead of waiting for him to make the first move (because you may be waiting a long time), provide him with some date ideas by letting him know you’ve really been wanting to see a particular movie or love ice skating. This will open door for him to let you know he’d love to take you – and he won’t have to be so nervous about going somewhere with you that he’s afraid you’ll hate or getting turned down from the start because you thought his date idea was lame.

Tip #3 – Buy Him A Beer

You’ve made googly eyes at him across the bar and he hasn’t made a move yet. Maybe he’s nervous about approaching women, so instead he just doesn’t do anything. A lot of guys are so afraid of rejection that they would rather stay single than take the risk.

Here’s a great dating tip to ease his fear of rejection. Break the ice by having the bartender serve him up one of what he’s drinking – and make sure that the bartender lets him know it’s from the cute girl “over there.” This will definitely let him know that you’re interested. He’ll of course have to get up and say thank you, giving you the opportunity to chat him up and get that first date with him.

Tip #4 – Text Him

The dating world has changed with texting, chatting, and video. Maybe you’re the one whose afraid of rejection… If that’s the case here’s a dating tip for just you to help ease your fears.

If you have his number, text him an invitation to a group outing or other fun date idea. Texting is totally non-threatening and will give him time to think about the date before giving you his answer. He may be more likely to accept because he’s not put on the spot like he would be with a direct invitation in person or on the phone.

Sometimes guys lock up when they’ve been put on the spot, and you may get a rejection simply because he’s too scared to say yes – not because he’s not into you. Sending him a text will once again take the pressure off him, and he’ll be more likely to accept your dating invitation because he’s had some time to mull it over.

Tip #5 – Let Him Help You With Something

Almost all guys love helping a “damsel in distress.” It’s hard wired into their genetic code. Take advantage of this by getting his help with something. If you’re a strong, independent woman, it may ruffle your feathers a bit to want help from a man.

Think about it in the perspective of “letting” him to help you with something, such as the funny noise your car is making or the leaky pipes under your sink. Not only will he enjoy helping you, you’ll also get to spend time with each other and practice flirting with each other to see if there’s any chemistry there – without the official “first date” stamp on it.

Dating Tips: Do You Lead People On?

Andrew Wang — Sat, 27 Nov 2010 23:00:57 +0000

Within the realm of dating, it’s important to make sure that you’re sending the right signals. You don’t want to be conveying the message that you’re not interested in someone if you are, and you most certainly don’t want to convince someone that you like them if you don’t. If you’re a naturally flirty and friendly person, you may be doing just that.

Are You Leading People On?

How, then, can you tell if you lead people on? Think back over the years of your dating life and ask yourself how many times the guys or girls you were (at most) platonically interested in made a play for you. If it’s only happened once or twice, then you’re probably not to blame. Most likely the one or two people who mistakenly thought you liked them back were just blinded by their own hopefulness. If it’s happened on multiple occasions, then you probably are leading on unsuspecting people. However unintentional, you need to get a handle on what you’ve been doing to confuse these folks. It can make the difference between losing a good friend over a misunderstanding or not.

Flirting typically involves a lot of the same things that being friendly or outgoing do—talking animatedly, laughing loudly when the person you’re speaking with makes jokes, leaning in close when you talk, etc. If you’re a generally amicable person, try paying attention to your actions the next time you talk to someone you only want to befriend. If you’re touching them a lot when you talk—patting them on the back, playfully hitting them in the arm when they say something funny—that contact can be misinterpreted as flirting. There’s no reason not to act like yourself, but you may want to tone down some of these actions. Try to limit the physical contact you make with people you’re not interested in dating. While a handshake or hug is fine for when you first see them, it is best not to linger during either action.

Sending Other Mixed Signals

There are other dating mistakes that can lead people on, as well. If you spend too much one-on-one time together, most especially if it’s all initiated by you, that definitely sends mixed signals. This doesn’t mean you have to stop hanging out with your friend, but you should try to mix things up and hang with a bigger group more often. If you currently have a significant other or crush, regularly complaining to your friend about them can cause confusion. Your pal may suspect that, since things are awry, he or she has found the perfect moment to swoop in on you. Either talk up your current partner or love interest, or limit talking about them for the most part. If your friend thinks you’re happily taken or satisfied with being single, they probably won’t go after you.

All in all, if you review your dating habits, you’ll probably get to the root of the problem, whether you’re too much of a flirt or are spending way too much time with your friend. Just remember that you wouldn’t want anyone to lead you on romantically. That should be all the incentive you need to keep things honest and straightforward with any potentially confused friends and acquaintances.

Dating Tips – Is She Committed For The Long Haul?

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 26 Nov 2010 14:00:19 +0000

When dating, especially if you’ve been dating someone for awhile, it is completely natural to wonder where the relationship is headed. Are you headed for commitment or is it still just something casual and fun? Either way, it’s important to know what is going on – the trick is, however, that this is a topic that is not always easy to discuss. Here are some tips on how to talk to your partner about commitment, where your relationship stands and where they think it’s headed.

Question: My girlfriend and I have been dating for a year now. I thought we were both committed to a long term relationship but lately she has been saying things that make me think otherwise. What is the best way to approach this topic and to find out where she expects our relationship to be heading?

–YouTube Viewer

The Importance Of Communicating With Your Partner

Communication with your partner during the dating stage is essential to learning where your relationship is and where it’s going. Some people are able to “let it ride” and simply play it by ear, letting it go wherever it goes, but many others are not and need to be in the know about what is happening between them and their partners. It’s easy for two people to miscommunicate and give each other weird signals, simply because men and women have totally different ways of communicating. If your partner is giving you a weird vibe about where the relationship is going – for example, you thought she was in it for the long haul but she is starting to act more like you two are simply dating and having fun – don’t be quick to judge just based on the feelings you’re getting from her. You may be assuming the wrong thing. Instead, recognize the importance of communicating with your partner and plan a time to sit down with them and talk about what is going on in the partnership and where each of you see it going.

How To Approach The Topic The Right Way

While sitting down with your partner and talking to them about the relationship sounds absolutely frightening, it doesn’t have to be if you learn to approach the topic the right way. First of all, never say, “We have to talk.” This will shut them down faster than you ever would have imagined! Instead, bring up the topic casually while having dinner or sitting on the couch watching television or a movie. Let her know that you really enjoy spending time with her, but that you’ve been getting a weird vibe from her about the where you two stand together. Ask her if it’s true and if she’s been meaning to give those vibes, or if it’s simply a misunderstanding. You can also ask her if she sees you and her heading into long term relationship territory, but just make sure you’re not being critical at all. Ask questions, but you absolutely don’t want to place blame on your partner for anything or criticize anything they’ve said or done. Criticism isn’t necessary and the negativity will only cause you and your partner to start arguing and fighting. You especially want to avoid giving them an ultimatum – that is the fastest way to end a new relationship.

When You And Your Partner Don’t Agree

If you and your partner don’t agree on where your partnership stands and where it’s headed, it’s time to make a decision. For example, say she isn’t interested in commitment and simply wants to continue dating and having fun and you would rather see what you two have actually go somewhere. You can choose to continue dating her and enjoy spending time with her, waiting to see if she comes around and wants to take what you two have to the next level. If you choose to head down this road though, you have to understand that she may never want to take it to the next level and may even dump you if something she’s more interested in comes along. This may or may not be a risk you are willing to take. The other option you have is to break up with her and end the relationship so you can start looking for someone who isn’t afraid of commitment. Either way, when you and your partner don’t agree on where the relationship is headed, it can hurt. Decisons that you make from here on out won’t be easy, but remember what your goals are and what you’re really looking for in life and in a partnership.

Dating Tips: Will My Rebound Relationship End Badly?

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 24 Nov 2010 14:00:16 +0000

A rebound relationship is common, and it can sometimes be a fun way to get over someone you’ve broken up with. The thing about these types of relationships though is that they rarely last, simply because the person just getting out of a previous relationship is “rebounding” and not ready for commitment again. However, there are a rebound relationship or two that actually last, so if you’re really into someone who just came from a break up, you may not want to give up hope yet. Here’s how to tell if they’re still hung up on their ex – and if their relationship with you will work out for the better.

Question: Hey, I recently met this girl and we were getting pretty close but then she started talking about her ex-boyfriend who she broke up with because he moved away. She said she’s still in love with him and now I realized that I might just be filling the “gap” that he left behind. Is this kind of rebound relationship going to end badly if I pursue it?

–YouTube Viewer

Why Some Rebound Relationships Don’t Work

Some people go into a rebound relationship with the attitude of simply engaging in casual dating or sex. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, especially if both parties understand that it is more of a casual hookup. However, if one person is going into it thinking that it is going to be the start of something really special, they can get let down pretty hard when they find out the person they are really into isn’t really into them. There are some ways to tell if the rebound relationship will work out or not before you become completely invested in it, so take some time to think the situation through before you really commit to it. If they’re the ones that have done the breaking up with their past partner, they may be ready to move on and start a new commitment with you. However, if they’re the ones that were broken up with, they may still be hung up on the “one that got away.”

Is She Trying To Keep In Contact With Him?

If she says she’s still in love with her ex-boyfriend, she may still be keeping in contact with him through phone, email or chat. This can be a huge indicator of whether or not your relationship with her will work out or not, because if she’s still communicating with him, she’s still hung up on him – and keeping in touch with him will not allow her to fully move on from him and committing herself to what she has with you. Talk to her and let her know that you enjoy spending time with her and want to pursue what you have with her, but you can’t do that while she is still talking to her ex. Let her know that continuing to talk to him is just going to hurt her, because she won’t be able to move on from him and it will keep her from finding happiness elsewhere. Let her know that it makes you uncomfortable and that you’d like her to stop talking to him so you and her can focus on your relationship together. Be wary though – she may insist that it is harmless and she’s going to do it anyway. She may even do it behind your back. Decide beforehand whether this is a deal breaker or not. If she refuses to stop talking to her ex, are you willing to walk away?

Time Will Make A Difference

If you haven’t been in the rebound relationship with her for very long, all she may need is time. It takes time to get over an ex, especially if he’s the one that initiated the break up. If the break up is fresh and you’re really into this girl, take a step back and allow her some time to collect herself and get over him. She may be worth the wait, and the wait probably won’t be very long if she’s already agreed that continuing to keep in touch with him is simply keeping her from moving on. However, if you and her have been dating for awhile now, and she’s still not able to move on from what she had with him, it may be a sign that she’s not going to get over him for a long time. If this is the case, you may want to consider moving on yourself and looking for someone who respects you enough to be with you and you only mentally and emotionally.

Online Dating – How To Tell The Real Deal From A Total Fake

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 22 Nov 2010 14:00:37 +0000

Here’s the thing with online dating and chat lines – some people are honest, and really want to find their mate, while others are there only to mess with people or worse – hurt them in some way. It’s better to play it safe when dating online, but it can be difficult to know if the person you’re dating has ulterior motives or not. Here’s how you can know for certain!

Always Trust Your Dating Instincts

Your dating instincts are the most powerful tool at your disposal for spotting a bad online dating profile or to tell if someone is lying to you. You definitely don’t want to underestimate your gut feelings and do something that the little voice in the back of your head is telling you not to do. If your gut is telling you that there’s something fishy going on, don’t ignore it!

Online dating can be especially challenging because your brain fills in the things you don’t know – with how you want the other person to be. You may be tempted to ignore the alarm bells that are going off because he or she is saying everything right, but if you sense that something isn’t right, it probably isn’t. They be really sweet, caring and seem perfect, but if your instinct is telling you to run, do it. There are other sweet, awesome people that you will meet online that won’t make you feel weird.

Keep An Eye Out For Lies

When dating online, keep an eye out for inconsistencies in their stories. Liars will almost always get tripped up in their lies, especially if they lie often. It’s often hard to keep lies straight, so the man or woman you’re dating may say one thing one time and say something completely different another time without even knowing it. If he says he hates football when you first talk to him and later he says he has to get to a game (or watch a game), that’s probably just the surface of the lies he’s telling you.

Keep an eye out for conflicting information about looks, hobbies, habits, friends, etc. Also, don’t be afraid to call them out on something that you’re not sure about – remember, you don’t them anything. You barely know them! If you come across an inconsistency in something they’ve said or done, speak up. Ask them about it. If they get flustered and can’t provide a good answer for you as to why they said one thing and did another (or whatever the situation may be), then you’ve probably caught them in a lie.

If It Sounds Too Good To Be True, It Usually Is

It’s hard to keep your ground when you’re being swept off your feet, but if the relationship seems too good to be true, it often is. It’s important to try to keep a level head when dating online or over a chat line, because if it seems like you’ve suddenly met Mr. or Mrs. Right and everything in your life is falling into place, you’re probably falling too hard for something that is definitely too good to be true.

A total fraud will try their absolute best to woo you, and if you’ve been looking for love for quite some time, it can be hard to resist someone who is doing and saying all of the right things. It’s important to stay vigilant when dating though, because something that seems perfect probably isn’t. A fake is probably working very hard to get you into their good graces so they can achieve whatever their goal is – whether that’s simply yanking people around or luring them into a trap that could cause you to end up in some very dangerous situations.

Try your best to keep your cool when you’re chatting online and don’t get too wrapped up in sweet phrases or gestures. Accept the niceties gracefully, but always keep your “weirdness radar” on so you can spot red flags right away. If the guy or girl you’re dating online seems totally perfect for you, take it with a grain of salt until they prove they are the real deal. Consider taking it offline, but make sure you take some safety precautions first such as meeting in public the first several times and letting a friend know where you’re going, who you’re going to be with and when you’ll be back. Once your date proves their motives are pure, you can relax (a little!)

Q&A: Dating Tips – How Do I Know If He’s Just In It For The Sex?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 16 Nov 2010 14:00:00 +0000

Guys love sex. It’s just a fact of life. But if you’re with a guy who only seems to want to have sex or make out, you might be wondering if he’s only in the relationship for the sex. If you think he only cares about getting in between the sheets with you, there are some questions you can ask yourself to better understand the situation and his true motives. Here’s what to do if you think he’s only interested in sex, so you can figure out if that’s really what is going on or if he’s just a normal guy who can’t stop thinking about it.

Question: How do I know if a guy really loves and respects me, or if he is just into sex and making out?

–YouTube Viewer

All Guys Are Into Sex And Making Out – Don’t Hold It Against Him

If you think he’s only in the relationship for sex just because he wants to have sex or make out all the time, you could be very, very wrong. Most – if not all – guys are very into sex and making out and it’s constantly on their minds. He may really enjoy being in a relationship with you and may care a lot about you, but he may not be able to control his mind when it comes to thinking about you naked. Don’t hold it against him just because he loves sex, oral sex, kissing, making out and anything with you that involves getting to feel you up. Many girls think that if they want to find out if their guy only cares about the sex, they can withhold sex and see if he still enjoys hanging out with her. This is totally unfair to him! Don’t punish him – instead, there are some questions you can ask yourself that will give you a better handle on the situation without hurting your guy unnecessarily.

How To Tell If He’s Only In It For The Sex

If you’re really beginning to think that he only wants to be with you because he likes having sex with you, here are a few questions to ask yourself:

Do you engage in other activities with him?
How does he treat you outside the bedroom?
How does he treat you in front of friends and family?
Do you hang out together with his friends and your friends?
Is he truly interested in what you have to say or what is going on in your life?
Do you communicate outside the bedroom?
Does he call you late at night, only for booty calls?
Does he come by only for sex?

If he does ok on most of these questions, then he probably enjoys both being in a relationship with you or dating you and having sex with you. Guys that only want sex will tend not to hide it very well at all – men are definitely not masters of hiding their motives by nature. If that’s his game, he’ll basically meet up with you only for sex. He won’t try to fake it by alternating a nice date with a booty call – he’ll go straight for the booty call at 2 a.m. after he’s been partying with his friends all night. He won’t want to hang out with you in front of his friends, or hang out with yours at all. He won’t call or text you just to “chat.” He’ll almost always, if not every time, suggest sex right away. If you’re not up for hitting the sheets, he’ll make up an excuse later as to why he can’t hang out. No, Grandma really isn’t sick – he just found something better to do because you didn’t want to “do it.” If he spends time with you outside of the bedroom, hangs out with your friends and his (with you) and sometimes calls you just to say “hey,” he is probably not only in it for the sex – he’s just an ordinary guy who loves it and loves it with you!

What To Do If He Only Cares About Sex

If your guy fits the bill of someone who wants sex and only sex, stop and think about where you’re willing to go with this. Is the sex great and would you otherwise be single without any sex? Why not keep him as a booty call while you continue to date and look for the real deal? If you’re not into that, consider breaking it off with him. You don’t have to waste your time with someone who wants only sex unless that’s what you want too.

5 Tips for Sexy Flirting – That Doesn’t Go Too Far

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 08 Nov 2010 14:00:10 +0000

When scoping out the dating scene, it’s easy to spot someone you might be interested in having a conversation with and seeing if there is any chemistry. What isn’t easy is flirting with them in a sexy way without being creepy or going too far. Many men try to flirt in a sexy way and end up going way farther than is comfortable for both him and her and after that, there’s no way he’s going to get her number. Here are 5 great tips on sexy flirting that you can use and be confident that you’re not going to push the wrong buttons.

Flirting Tip #1 – Make Eye Contact

Eye contact is a very important flirting tool that definitely shouldn’t be overlooked. In fact, eye contact really is the cornerstone of good flirting techniques. You can use eye contact in a crowded room to let someone know you’re interested in them, or you can use eye contact when someone is speaking to let them know you’re truly interested in what they have to say. When making eye contact across a room to let a girl or guy know that you’re into them, simply gaze across the room at them and once you make eye contact with them, hold it for a few seconds longer than you’re comfortable with. Just don’t stare at them in a creepy way – you’ll eventually need to break the eye contact and move across the room to introduce yourself.

Flirting Tip #2 – A Genuine Smile

There’s nothing more sexy than a genuine smile! Smiling is a great way to let someone know you’re interested in them, whether it’s from across the room or while you’re having a conversation with them. Don’t fake it either – a fake smile is easy to spot a mile away. Fake smiling, or smiling too much may make you seem a little strange. Smile genuinely and they’ll know you’re having a great time. Smiling also goes well with eye contact when making the effort to flirt. People are naturally attracted to someone who will look them in the eyes and give them a great, heart warming smile. Don’t pretend to be too cool to smile, because it definitely won’t score you any phone numbers to take home.

Flirting Tip #3 – Mirroring

Pay attention to their body language and make sure you are mirroring what they’re doing without mimicking it move for move. Completely mimicking their actions will definitely make you look creepy and it won’t be long before you’re sitting at the bar by yourself because her friend had some kind of crisis. For example, if she touches your leg lightly, place your hand over hers. If she leans towards you while talking to you, lean in towards her slightly too. Body language is incredibly powerful and if you put off the wrong body language vibes, she may think that you’re not into her even if you are.

Flirting Tip#4 – Use Lingering Touches

It’s perfectly normal for people to touch each other during casual conversation. For example, a light touch on the shoulder when laughing at a joke they said or brushing against them to get by them are all perfectly normal parts of a casual conversation. However, if you’re flirting with a girl and want her to know that you’re really interested in her, use lingering touches. A lingering touch is a touch that lasts just a few seconds longer than it normally would, but not too long – you want to be sexy not creepy. Without lingering touches, she may assume you’re just “one of the girl friends” and you’ll end up getting stuck in the friend zone. It’s okay to let him or her know that you care with a light but lingering touch.

Flirting Tip #5 – Lick Your Lips

Draw attention to your sexy, sensuous lips by licking them subtly, biting the corner of your lip or touching your lips. This signals to the other person that you definitely want in on some kissing action. Don’t draw too much attention to your mouth by doing this constantly – that will just make you look weird – but sly lip licking or nibbling here and there will have a powerful impact on the person you’re interested in. You’ll also want to pay attention to whether they’re licking their lips or touching them, because this is a signal to you that they want to kiss as well. If they’re giving off the signals of wanting to be kissed, lean over and whisper something in their ear. Linger there for just a second. Chances are, they’ll turn their head slightly towards you for the “accidentally on purpose” kiss.

Dating Tips: How to Be Memorable Without Being Creepy

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 14:00:34 +0000

When playing the dating game, it’s hard to do everything just right so you score a phone number or a date the next night. Too often, many men find themselves ending up being the guy that creeped her out instead of being the guy she remembers, who made her laugh and smile.

Here’s how to avoid being the “creepy guy” and instead, how to be the memorable guy she gives her number to or calls you the next day if you gave her your number.

Dating Tip #1 – She’ll Remember How You Made Her Feel

When you meet a girl, she usually won’t remember what you looked like or what you said. She won’t remember what the two of you talked about and she won’t remember what songs were playing or even what drinks you ordered her. What she will remember, however, is how you made her feel when you were flirting with her. Did you make her feel good about herself? Did you make her feel like she was the only girl in the room and that you had eyes only for her? Of course, if you overwhelm her with unwanted attention, she’ll remember that too, but then you’ll be the creepy guy. Make her feel fabulous about herself and she’ll definitely remember you.

Dating Tip #2 - Truly Listen To What She’s Saying

All women want to be heard and want someone to listen to what they have to say. To get her to remember you, you have to be that person. When talking with a woman and listening to her, don’t just nod your head and say, “uh huh…uh huh.” She’ll catch on to that real quick and probably kick you to the curb. Instead, actively listen to her by being engaged in the conversation and not allowing any moments of awkward silence. Avoid talking about sports (since very few women enjoy talking about sports at all) and avoid talking about your job or hers. She probably doesn’t care about what happened to you at work today, and she most likely doesn’t want to talk shop when she’s not working. Talk about travel, “what-would-you-do-if” scenarios or favorite foods or hobbies. Make eye contact, but don’t stare.

Dating Tip #3 - Leave On A Good Note

Many men make the fatal dating mistake of waiting until the conversation has run out of steam before making their exit. Even if the conversation was going great at first and you and her were hitting it off really well, if you wait until you hit the conversation dead zone to leave and try to get her number, she’s not going to remember the beginning of the conversation. What she will remember is the awkward silence and then the request for her number – and she probably won’t give it out at that point. By making sure you leave the conversation on a good note, you’ll make her curious for more. Have an out pre-planned, such as getting home to walk the dog, etc. so you can have a good reason to leave before things get awkward.

Dating Tip #4 - Make Her Smile And Laugh

The best flirting move ever is to simply make her smile. Making her smile and laugh is the best thing you can do to make sure she remembers you when she goes home that night. Don’t tell lame jokes – instead, point out the humor that is present in every day life. Tell her something funny that happened to you the other day, or the hilarious thing your roommate did last night. Make sure your funny stories aren’t vulgar or involve painting you – or any other guy really – in a bad light. Seriously, this is not the time for frat boy jokes about how you got so drunk that your friends drew a penis on your face with a Sharpie. Make sure that when you’re flirting with her and telling funny stories to get her to laugh and smile that you’re also allowing her a chance to tell you funny stories that would make you laugh or smile as well.

Dating Tip #5 - Be Yourself

Above all, when you’re dating, it’s so important to be yourself and allow your true self to come through. Some people don’t have chemistry with each other and that’s okay. If you’re not clicking with her, make your exit and move on to someone else, allowing her to do the same. Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not to get her attention, get her number or to get her to remember you. If you’re not being yourself and she remembers you the next day or when you call her, it’s not really you she’s remembering is it? It’s a facade. Just be yourself!

10 Creative Ways To Say I Love You Without Saying A Word

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 14:00:38 +0000

For some people, saying the three little words “I love you” is very difficult. Others have no problem with it at all (and sometimes even say it when they don’t mean it). If you struggle to express the way you feel to your partner through words, there are lots of ways to let your partner know that they are important to you and you enjoy having them in your life without using a single word at all! Here are 10 creative ideas to let your partner know that they are a big part of your life and you love having them in it.

Write A Quick Letter Or Card

Instead of saying “I love you” to your partner, instead, write them a quick love letter or jot it down in a sweet card that you picked up from the store. It is a quick and easy way to let your partner know just how much they mean to you without saying a word.

Send A Text

In the age of technology, almost everyone has texting capabilities on their cell phones. Instead of sending her a text to please pick up milk after work, send her a text that lets her know you’ve been thinking about her all day. You can do this in a romantic way to let her know that you love her, or you can make a racy text – called sexting – to tell her what you want to do to her when you both get home after work. Texting is so easy and cheap you can do it often just to add a little bit of love to her day.

Put It On A Cookie

On your next trip to the mall, visit the cookie store and have them write “I Love You” on one of those giant chocolate chip cookies. The best part is that you two can enjoy the cookie together later that night!

Draw It On The Sidewalk With Chalk

This is a great idea if your partner is away for business often or if you get home from work several minutes before your partner does. Draw a sweet message on the driveway or sidewalk with sidewalk chalk and they’ll see it as soon as they pull in the driveway from work.

Write It On The Bathroom Mirror

Write “I love you” on the bathroom mirror with an old lipstick that you don’t use anymore, or do it in soap so that when the mirror fogs up when your partner is taking a shower, the message becomes clear. The latter is so much fun because they won’t see the message when they step in the shower, but they’ll see it when they come out!

Use An Entire Pad Of Post It Notes

You can really show your love by using an entire pad of Post-It notes to write sweet messages and stick them all over the house. You can write a different message on each note, or you can simply write “I love you” over and over on each note. Make sure you use brightly colored Post-Its for maximum impact!

Place An Ad In A Newspaper Or Magazine They Read

Surprise your partner by placing a sweet message in an ad in a newspaper or magazine that they read. Make sure it’s a magazine or newspaper that they actually read though, or else they won’t get your special message!

Draw It On Their Car Windshield

You can use a wax pen or special car window chalk (you know, the kind they use for those “Just Married” signs when people tie the knot) and write “I love you” all over your partner’s car windows. Do this either in the morning before they leave for work or drop by their place of employment while they’re inside so they don’t catch you. If you’re lucky enough, you’ll be around to see the look on their face when they discover your surprise!

Use Glow In The Dark Stars

Get some of those glow in the dark stars (usually in the kids toy section) and write a sweet message on the wall or ceiling for your partner to discover when they turn off the lights. You can also use this as a seduction tactic and suggest that you two have sex “under the stars!”

Create Your Very Own LoveBook

Create an inexpensive but romantic LoveBook that contains reasons why you love your partner and enjoy having them in your life. A LoveBook truly is a keepsake that they will have forever!

Tips On Talking To Women – Using The “Hooks & Ladders” Technique To Create Amazing Conversations

Dean Cortez — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 23:00:06 +0000

How come most guys are so nervous and uptight about approaching, flirting and talking to women — especially when she happens to be extremely hot?

Why Most Guys Have A Hard Time Talking To Women

For some guys, approaching women is difficult because of “inner game” issues. They lack confidence and paralyze themselves with limiting beliefs. When they see an extremely attractive woman, their brain comes up with reasons NOT to approach her.

Usually these “reasons” are along the lines of, “I’m just not handsome/tall/rich enough to get a girl like HER interested in me…she’s out of my league.”

But for other guys (and I myself used to fall under this category), the anxiety stems from not knowing WHAT TO TALK ABOUT with her.

If you have no conversational “game plan” — no idea what to say after you walk up and say hello — well, approaching and talking to women becomes a nerve-wracking proposition indeed.

The Mistake I Used To Make When Talking To Women

I used to be guilty of this myself when talking to women. I remember many situations where I’d approach a girl and introduce myself (usually this was at a bar, after I’d had a few drinks to loosen up), and things would go okay for a few minutes…we’d be chatting about something we had in common, or someone we both knew, and it seemed like she might be sort of into me, but then the conversation would start to run out of steam. I found myself struggling to figure out what to say next, or trying to think of some clever question to ask her. ANYTHING to fill the awkward silence.

And while I stood there racking my brain for something to say, I could feel her energy level fading. She’d look at her wristwatch, start glancing around the bar, looking for a way out. Then I’d get a polite blow-off (“It was great to meet you, but I have to find my friends…”), and that girl would walk out of my life forever.

After years of hanging out with the world’s best pickup artists and studying their tactics, I was able to come up with a technique that virtually guarantees you will never run out of conversational material.

Use This Powerful Tactic When Talking To Women

This technique is called “hooks and ladders.” Let me explain how this works, and how you can start using it in your conversations from now on.

A “hook” is anything a girl mentions that you can turn into a topic of conversation—right now, or later on.

A “ladder” is an opportunity in the conversation for you to plant a positive seed in her mind, and boost her opinion of you.

So the idea is, whenever you’re talking to women you want to look out for hooks that you can turn into ladders.

Before I give you an example, I want you to think of three topics that you’d WANT to talk to a beautiful woman about — topics that demonstrate your positive qualities, such as your talents, interests, ambitions, passions, or positive life experiences. You know that if the conversation gets onto one of these subjects, you’ll be well-equipped to talk about some cool stuff.

Three of mine are: travel, music, and writing. I know a lot about these areas, and by talking about them, I can plant seeds about my own positive qualities.

(I’m also into things like video games, horror movies, and watching Ultimate Fighting, but these aren’t topics that women are going to find particularly interesting!)

I’ll use travel as my example. I’ve been to a lot of cool places, and there are a lot of cities and countries I plan on visiting in the future.

So, I won’t ask her a standard question like “Do you like to travel?”

Instead, I’ll put a spin on it and say something like, “Lisa, you seem like someone who leads an interesting lifestyle, and I bet you’ve done some traveling. So let me ask you — if we could teleport right now to any city or country, anywhere in the world, where would you want to go?”

She answers, “Jamaica. I went there for spring break during my senior year of college and we had so much fun. The beaches were amazing and we went out to the clubs every night.”

To this, the average guy (with no game) would nod his head and say, “Wow, that’s awesome. Sounds like you had a great time.” And the conversation hits a dead end.

But because I’m listening for “hooks” when I’m talking to women, that answer just gave me a bunch of different topics that I can now talk about. Lisa has provided me with multiple “hooks” (conversational topics) that I can turn into “ladders” (ways to make me look good).

Hook #1: She went to Jamaica. When I think about Jamaica, I think of the singer Bob Marley. Everyone loves Bob Marley. I say, “I can totally picture you and me chilling on the beach in Jamaica, drinking some Red Stripe beers, listening to some Bob Marley. You must be into reggae music…” (And now we’re talking about our favorite types of music, which is a topic I like to move towards because it’s something I’m passionate and knowledgeable about).

Hook #2: She went with her friends to another country to party and have a new experience. This means she’s got a fun, adventurous side. Very cool. I can tell her about the summer I spent traveling around Asia, having all kinds of amazing experiences. I use this as a “ladder”: I tell her how important I think it is to see the world and be open to new experiences. I frame myself as the type of spontaneous, adventurous, worldly guy who can give HER exciting new experiences.

Hook #3: She went to college. I can find out where she went to school and what she studied, and then tell her a little bit about my own college experience. Was she a bookworm, or a party girl? Did her sorority have some type of crazy initiation ritual? Did her college major lead her to a career she is passionate about, or is she aiming to do something else in the future?

Other Hooks she offered within her answer: she likes nightclubs, and she loves the beach. I can talk about these topics, too, and use them to plant positive seeds.

“So you mentioned earlier how the clubs in Jamaica were awesome. Well I’m always checking out new places, and I found this bar — not too far from here — that I know you would absolutely love. But it’s a little wild – if you promise to behave yourself I might bring you there sometime.”

If I want to use the “beaches” hook, I’ve got a story ready to go: “So you love the beach? Me too. I was in Mexico recently visiting a buddy of mine – it’s a funny story, he was making tons of money working in the financial industry and one day he decided to quit his job and move down to Mexico for a year and surf every day. My friends thought he was crazy, but I think it’s awesome that he followed his passion.”

(So now we talk about the importance of following your passions, doing what you love, etc. A definite ladder.)

You get the idea. Whenever you’re talking to a girl, she’s sharing a ton of information with you “beneath the surface” that you can USE to move the conversation in new, interesting directions — and at the same time, plant seeds in her mind about your own positive qualities.

Pay attention and watch for the hooks. She’ll supply them every time she tells you something about herself. By using them and controlling the flow of the conversation, she won’t pause to think “well this guy is kinda fun to talk to, but he’s not really my type so I should go find my friends…”

Instead, she’ll be swept up in your enthusiasm and energy and go with your flow. But you don’t want to keep talking endlessly. When the time is right, you’ll need to “close” her. This could mean getting her phone number, or taking her home with you tonight.

The BEST way to successfully close a girl is to lay the right groundwork. This requires you to stay in control of the conversation and keep it fun, while planting the right seeds. At the same time, when talking to women you want to follow a four-step process that hits certain “emotional buttons” (in the right order) and moves her feelings from curiosity and interest, towards sexual attraction.

Dating Tips: You Got Her Number – Now What?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 02 Nov 2010 14:00:36 +0000

Scoring a girl’s phone number when dating can seem like a huge success – and it is. But the question is, what do you do after you get her number? The thought can definitely be nerve wracking because this is where you can really make or break the relationship. When you call her and what you say to her can make her blow you off completely or become super interested in you. So here’s the downlow on what to do after you get her number so you can get a second date – and maybe even more!

What Are You Trying To Achieve With Her?

So you’ve chatted a super cute girl up at the bar and you’ve gotten her number – score! But now you’re just not quite sure what to do with it. You’re staring at it like it’s an alien that will take over your body if you touch it the wrong way and you can’t help but look at it every five seconds for fear that it will scamper off the counter and be lost forever. Many guys are so freaked out by what to say when they call a girl for the first time after getting her phone number that they don’t end up calling her at all – or they call so many days or weeks later that she barely remembers who he was. Before you call a girl, think about what you’re trying to achieve with her. Are you looking to date her and form a solid, long term relationship? Or are you looking for more of a casual friendship or a hook up? Thinking about what you really want first can help you set the stage for what to say next.

There’s Not A Right Time, But There Is A Wrong Time

The “right time” to call a girl after you score her phone number is pretty much whenever you feel the desire to talk to her or ask her out on a date. So really, there is no “right time.” The idea of waiting a certain number of days before you call her so you don’t seem desperate is an outdated myth that will only serve to make her think you’re not interested in her at all. So don’t worry about the “right” time to call her – instead, worry about the “wrong” time to make your move. Waiting too long to call her after you’ve gotten her number may make her think you’re not interested in her, or worse, she may have forgotten who you were by the time you get around to dialing her number. She won’t remember why she gave you her number and she’ll be more reluctant to set up a date with you if she does at all.

Keep It Simple

When calling a girl you just met, it’s definitely important to keep the conversation simple. Be honest, and let her know you really enjoyed talking with her when you met. Elaborating on how awesome, wonderful, sexy and hot she is will just make you seem creepy and stalker-ish. So keep the conversation short and simply let her know that you had a great time and you’d love to do it again. Be prepared with a date idea, but make sure it’s something casual like going out for a cup of coffee or grabbing a quick lunch together. This is especially true if you had a difficult time getting her number to begin with – suggesting a long, romantic dinner at the fancy restaurant downtown really isn’t going to get you anywhere here.

Texting Can Be Your Best Friend

In the age of technology, it’s important not to overlook texting as a mode of communication. Texts are wonderful ways to connect with a woman after getting her number and it won’t put either you or her on the spot. After meeting her and scoring her phone number, send her a short and sweet text the next day letting her know you enjoyed her company – and leave it at that. Chances are, she’ll text you back and let you know that she had fun too. You can also suggest going out on a date in a text, but again, make sure it’s a simple, short date like coffee or lunch. Don’t blow up her phone with tons of texts though – if you do, you’ll seem just as creepy and weird as if you called her a hundred times. Give her time to think about it and answer your text. Remember that she did give you her number and that means she liked you enough to do so. Play it cool and you’ll definitely score the opportunity to get to know her and let her get to know you.

How To Attract Women By Using The Power Of Sexual Tension

Dean Cortez — Mon, 18 Oct 2010 23:00:02 +0000

Learning how to attract women begins with mastering sexual tension. Instead of behaving like an average guy who simply agrees with everything she says, I’m going to show you how to TEASE and TEST women so that you seem like a guy who is “hard to get.” This is the key to building sexual tension and amping up a woman’s attraction towards you — because when she senses that she can’t have you, she’s going to want you even more!

Learn This Powerful Method To Attract Women

I want to share with you my “secret tactic” to attract women and get them into bed fast…but first, I want you to imagine the following scenario.

Let’s say you’re talking to a girl and the conversation is flowing. You’ve got some things in common with her, she’s easy to talk to, and everything seems to be going pretty well.

After ten or twenty minutes (or even an hour) of friendly conversation, she tells you she needs to get going…so you take out your phone and get her phone number.

You figure this girl LIKES you. Seeing her again shouldn’t be a problem. But when you text her or call her the next day, you don’t get a response. Or if you do get a response, she can’t remember who you are at first…and when you try to ask her out on a date, she tells you she’s extremely busy this week (and next week, and the week after that…as far as going on a date with you, she’s apparently booked up for the next 40 years).

What’s up with this? How come a girl can seem “into” you during that first conversation, but she treats like you like a telemarketer when call to see her again?

It comes down to one word. You might have made her laugh…she may have found you interesting to talk to….but you failed to make her feel any ATTRACTION.

And in order for a girl to feel that deep, undeniable, gut-level attraction, she needs to feel one thing: SEXUAL TENSION.

The “Secret Weapon” To Attract Women

The words “sexual tension” might sound to you like a bad thing. But it’s not. What it really means is, she’s starting to feel attracted to you…but she’s not sure whether you feel the same way about her.

Sexual tension develops when she starts to WANT you…but she doesn’t know if she can HAVE you.

And women want what they can’t have! They love a guy who is a challenge. This is one of the big reasons why “bad boys,” who are cocky, playful, and obviously have a lot of sexual options, are able to attract women effortlessly. They’re sexually attractive to women on a gut level — even if they are the WORST kinds of guys for them to be in a relationship with!

This is why in order to attract women, you need to “shift gears” at some point during the conversation and start teasing her and framing yourself as a CHALLENGE. You can’t let the conversation stay stuck in “neutral.”

Here’s the basic formula: talk to her for a little while and get to know her, so that she feels comfortable with you, and THEN you start teasing her and acting like you’re “not sure” about her.

You make her feel that she has to EARN a spot on “your team.” And this is where the level of sexual tension goes through the roof!

Here Are Some Cocky, Playful Tactics To Help You Attract Women

Mention how you two could never date.

“You and I definitely have a lot of chemistry, but we could never be boyfriend and girlfriend. We’re way too much alike. We’d be breaking up all the time, and then having wild make-up sex and destroying all of my expensive furniture…it’s probably not a good idea.”

“It’s too bad I swore off dating girls like you…”

“You’re a nice girl—you really shouldn’t be hanging out with a guy like me. I could get you in all kinds of trouble.”

“You’re such a sweet girl…you should probably be talking to a nice boy like the one over there (point to some dorky-looking dude). I’m more like the guy your mom warned you about.”

Accuse her of hitting on you.

If it’s time to get her a drink—or she offers to buy you one—say, “Okay, one drink, but promise you won’t try to take advantage of me.”

Or, “It’s going to take more than a drink to get me into bed. I expect dinner and a movie at least.”

If she touches you, you can say “Hey, hands off the merchandise. That’ll be twenty dollars.”

When she asks you a question, say “You are totally hitting on me right now. That’s one of the questions I ask girls when I’m hitting on them. It’s okay, I just want you to know I expect you to buy me dinner and a movie before anything happens.”

Employ her/fire her.

When she mentions something that she’s good at, or an area where she is experienced, tell her you’re “hiring” her to help you with it. This frames you as the more powerful one in the conversation, and gives you a reason to “fire” her at any time (in a playful way).

“You seem like a smart girl who’s on the ball. I’m hiring you as my personal assistant.”

“So you know about all the nightclubs. I’m hiring you. From now on you’re my personal party planner whenever I have friends come to town.”

You get the idea. You can “hire” her to do anything. You can make her your personal party DJ, fashion stylist, gym trainer, or website designer. The fun part is that when she says something corny or lame, you can “fire” her:

“Oh my God, I can’t believe you just said that. That’s it—you’re fired. Tell the girl over there in the red dress she can submit her resume.”

It’s all in good fun, but you’re sending the message that you’re the one in control and calling the shots. As long as BEFORE the teasing you spent some time getting her to feel comfortable with you, and interested, these types of lines will create sexual tension and make her want to PROVE herself.

Use the point system.

“Okay, I’m going to ask you something but be careful how you answer, because this answer is worth ten points….”

(This is when you can use one of the “Hypotheticals” in my book, Mack Tactics. These are clever, provocative “hypothetical questions” you can pose to her, that will really make her think and cause her to expose deeper aspects of her personality.)

Whatever your question is, if she answers it “correctly” tell her she has earned ten points — and if she gets up to fifty points she wins a bonus (which can be a drink). This now becomes a theme that runs through the conversation. Deduct points for lame answers. Award points for good ones.

You’re building compliance and sending a message: it’s her job to impress you, not the other way around. You’re making her want to earn your approval. When you start “framing” your conversations this way, you’ll find it much easier to attract women on a sexual level instead of being the “nice guy” or the “friend” she has no interest in having sex with.

Online Social Networking Etiquette For Couples

Andrew Wang — Fri, 15 Oct 2010 23:00:40 +0000

Facebook, Myspace, and other online social networks have become an integral part of our social and dating experience in recent years. Their use is ubiquitous, particularly among twenty- and thirty-somethings, yet they’re still fairly new mediums. That being the case, it can sometimes be difficult to decide what is and isn’t appropriate to discuss and post on these sites. When you change your status to “In a Relationship,” what counts as over-sharing, and what could be detrimental to your romance’s success? You’re putting your relationship out into the public eye, so it’s absolutely necessary to think before you type.

You Can’t Take Back What Is In Print

There are two hugely important things to remember about what you post online—everyone you’ve listed as a friend can read or see it, and it’s now officially in print. That means that you can’t take it back as easily as you could if you just said something in person. If you say something embarrassing about your significant other, post a picture that they’d prefer remain private, or something else that could similarly upset them, you can take it down after the fact. However, most people you know have already seen it. That’s an argument waiting to happen, no question. It’s probably best that you check in with your girlfriend or boyfriend before posting anything that directly involves them, and if you even remotely suspect they might be upset by it, just don’t do it. Additionally, remember that certain things you post will be visible to your significant other’s online friends, which could include their family members. The fear of your girlfriend’s mom reading that you think her butt is hot should be reason enough to keep things clean.

Don’t Argue With Your Partner Online

You should also always remember that Facebook and Myspace are not appropriate forums for arguing with your significant other. Not only will you make all of your online friends feel incredibly uncomfortable (no one likes to bear witness to other people’s disagreements), but once things calm down, it will be horribly embarrassing for you and your partner. Now other people know all about the dark side of your relationship. Furthermore, there can be legal implications down the line—some divorce lawyers are actually starting to use comments and posts from social networking sites as fodder in custody battles and settlements. This is a good reminder, yet again, that once things are in print, they can come back to bite you.

Don’t Be Overly Mushy Online

So what if you don’t argue online or post unflattering pictures of your S.O.? What else is there to worry about online? Believe it or not, posting too many positive or mushy remarks can be equally un-cool. If you’re posting on your mate’s wall once a day about how much you love them, you’re opening yourself and your relationship up to judgment from your online friends. Most people aren’t going to see that and just think that you’re the most romantic couple ever. They’re going to wonder if you’re making such a big deal publicly because things aren’t going so hot behind the scenes. Additionally, there’s just an element of the annoying to this behavior. You should be telling your significant other that you love them on a daily basis in person, not online. Someone’s Facebook wall isn’t an inbox, either—if you need to ask your spouse to pick up some milk or want to tell them about your day at work, do it over the phone or in an email. In general, don’t post anything on your girlfriend or boyfriend’s wall that you wouldn’t post on a regular friend’s wall, and you’ll be just fine in love and online.

How To Tell If He – Or She – Is Interested In You

Andrew Wang — Thu, 14 Oct 2010 23:00:12 +0000

We’ve all heard the old cliché before—women are from Venus, men are from Mars. People wouldn’t say it if it weren’t at least partially true, right? Guys and girls may have a lot in common, but both genders certainly have their differences—not least of all when it comes to our dating skills and the way we communicate with each other. That being the case, how are the gents supposed to know when the ladies are into them? How can a woman be certain that the man she’s interested in is attracted to her?

Is She Into You?

Let’s start with the ladies. There are many different ways that women can indicate their interest in men. Some of their actions are thought out and intentional, some done entirely on a subconscious level. Imagine you, a guy, are at a friend’s party. You start talking with one of the girls there that you’ve not met before, and she’s flirting with you. She’s laughing at your jokes, asking you a lot of questions about yourself, maybe even making a point to touch your arm or shoulder once or twice during the conversation.

All of these are classic signs that she’s into you. Some women like to play hard to get, though, so if she walks off after several minutes of flirting, don’t automatically assume it’s over. Take note—even when she’s across the room talking to other people, does she glance over at you from time to time? Does she seem less animated when she’s talking with other guys than when she was talking to you? If so, you’re still on her mind—she’s just trying not to look too overly interested for fear you may think she’s desperate.

Some girls may also playfully tease you if they’re interested, so if she jokes about you and then leans in close to laugh, she clearly likes you. If a woman isn’t interested in you, she’ll try to be subtle about it at first. She’s not going to be mean to you, but she’ll probably do her best to keep from being alone with you. That may mean calling over a friend to join the conversation, or walking off the minute she gets a chance. If she’s taken, she’ll also make a point of bringing up her boyfriend or spouse pretty early on in the conversation. If she’s not taken, she may casually mention having feelings for some other guy (or, if he’s near, start flirting with him right in front of you).

Is He Into You?

So what if you’re the girl at the party teasing the fellow—how can you judge whether or not you’ve got him intrigued? Guys aren’t as subtle as girls can be, so that definitely helps out. If a guy is spending a lot of time talking to you, and, more importantly, actually listening to what you have to say, that’s a pretty good sign he finds you attractive. If he’s really turning on the charm (cracking jokes, flashing big grins, leaning in toward you a lot when he’s talking), then he is definitely interested in you.

But maybe the guy you’re conversing with is a tad on the shy side, so he’s not doing too much talking. As you interact with him, do you notice him increasingly coming out of his shell? Maybe at first you’re doing more of the talking, but the minute you hit on a common topic, he perks up and starts talking more in return. Any indication that he’s feeling more at ease with you than other people in the room is a good sign that he likes you. Shy (or just quiet) guys won’t open up for just anybody. Whether a guy is more bold or not, take note of how engaged he truly is in your conversation.

Men can’t hide their boredom as well as women do, and if he’s not interested, he won’t be making a lot of eye contact with you. Instead, he’ll be too busy looking around for an excuse to step away from you. Boys also tend to step up their manners a bit when they first meet a girl they’re attracted to—he’ll try to be on his best behavior to impress you. If he’s belching, making a lot of crude jokes or, worst of all, making crass remarks about other girls in the room, odds are good that he doesn’t think you’re a potential date.

How To Tell When He – Or She – Is NOT Into You

If all goes well in your first encounter, and you exchange phone numbers, know this– a lot of guys really do believe you should wait three to five days before calling a girl you’ve just met. This is a ridiculous but popular “rule,” so ladies, don’t get too offended if it takes a few days for them to reach out. If more than a week passes by though, it’s pretty safe to assume they’re not interested in you.

Men, some women will definitely call you within a day or two of the first date if they’re really interested. However, a lot of other women are still a little old-fashioned when it comes to phone etiquette, and would prefer for the guy to make the first move. So if she doesn’t call you in a few days, just call her. Don’t let it make you think she’s not attracted to you. If she screens your calls and doesn’t pick up, that is, of course, a whole other story.

There is one final telltale sign of attraction that both the guys and the gals can’t help but display. If you’re trying to figure out if he or she has the hots for you, look into his/her eyes. As mentioned in the article “How to Read His Body Language” by Amber Madison on Shine from Yahoo, when you’re attracted to someone, your pupils dilate and become larger than normal. So take a good long look into your potential paramour’s peepers, and you may just find the evidence you’re looking for!

Top 5 Dating Mistakes That Women Make With Men

Michael Webb — Wed, 13 Oct 2010 23:00:11 +0000

Great men are hard to find and even harder to keep. So when you find one, don’t ruin your chances of turning it into a great relationship by making these deadly dating mistakes. Remember, attractive men have dated a lot of women, so they know what’s going on. The result? They’ll disappear before you realize you’ve done anything wrong. Here’s how to avoid the top five dating mistakes that women make with men so you can increase your chances of keeping a keeper.

Mistake #1: Sharing Your Feelings With Him Too Early

Men love their freedom and independence - no mysteries there! So when you announce that you love him, it often sets off a trigger that you might be one of those “clingy types.” This will no doubt send him running out the door as quick as he can manage. Play it safe and remember that the early stages of dating should always remain casual.

Only after you get to know each other really well should you pursue anything further. It’s also worth mentioning that you can’t logically convince someone to fall in love with you. Falling in love is a process that happens outside the conscious mind and there’s nothing you can do to make it happen, speed it up or make it stop. It will happen when it happens. It may happen for you well before it happens for him or vice versa. It is wise to keep your feelings to yourself until you’ve been dating them for quite some time or they’ve decided to say it first.

Mistake #2: Trying To Push It Too Far Too Soon

It’s natural to wonder about the nature of your relationship. “Does he want more? Or is this just a fling?” But remember, if you start talking about marriage after only 12 months, you could ruin your chances to take things further. And if you don’t live together, cooking dinner or doing his laundry isn’t a good idea.

A nice meal once in a while is okay, but don’t make it a regular thing. Yes, it’s true, many men are scared of commitment; but just because they don’t want it now, doesn’t mean they don’t want to settle down. They just need time. Let your man take the lead when it comes to announcing the state of the relationship or addressing the marriage, moving in or long term relationship issues. If you surprise him with something he’s not ready for, it will definitely freak him out and these things can’t be taken back once you’ve let them out in the open.

Mistake #3: Being Too Available

You might think this is playing a mind game or being manipulative, but putting your best side forward is also manipulative. Why? Because it’s done to get a desirable outcome. This is simply a reminder to be who you were before you met the man and continue to be that person, rather than use trickery.

Remember that your busy, interesting and fun life only has so much time for him, no matter how much you like him. And remember, men love a challenge, so this actually works in your favor. Don’t put aside everything you did before you met him to make room for him in your life. Instead, continue on about your business just as it was before you met him. He can wait a day or two for a dinner date if you have other things to do and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Mistake #4: Not Being Yourself

Men love confident women with a strong sense of self-worth. Unfortunately, women often try to guess how the man wants them to act and try to accommodate his mold, which leaves very little room for your own personality to shine. (And yes, men do this too.) Instead of trying to be what you think he wants you to be, simply be yourself and let him fall in love with you just the way you are.

Mistake #5: Putting Too Much Stock In Outward Appearances

Believe it or not, it’s NOT make-up, dyed hair, pretty clothes or even nice shoes that attract men, not into a successful long-term relationships anyway! While “looks” is the obvious factor that seems to get an instant response from men, long-term success comes with finding a man who admires and respects you regardless of your exterior. If your man only likes you for your looks, then he doesn’t really love you. Look your best, but don’t go out of your way. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t normally do to make yourself look good. Remember, you want him to fall in love with you.

The 3 Deadly Mistakes Guys Make When They Approach Women

Dean Cortez — Mon, 11 Oct 2010 14:00:36 +0000

When you don’t know how to approach women the right way, you’re constantly missing out on opportunities. Very few guys understand how to approach women and begin conversations in a playful, interesting way that creates a compelling REASON for women to want to know them and take things further.

When you spot a hot girl, you can assume that the last 47 guys who attempted to approach her — whether it was at the bar, the supermarket, or on the street — sent all the wrong signals. They immediately made her feel uncomfortable and caused her “force field” to go on high alert. At that point, she’s going to look for a reason to end the interaction as soon as possible.

She may indulge you with a few minutes of polite conversation and then blow you off gently (“It’s been nice talking to you, but I need to go find my friend…”), or she might shoot you down immediately (“Uh, I’ve got a boyfriend”). Either way, when you approach women the wrong way, it’s very unlikely that the conversation is going to go anywhere.

Don’t Make These Mistakes When You Approach Women

Here are the three deadliest mistakes that guys make when they approach women, and some tips on how to AVOID these traps and get the results you want.

Deadly Approach Mistake #1: Asking permission to talk to her

This means you must eliminate from your vocabulary phrases such as:

“Excuse me, may I know your name?”

“Hi, do you mind if I ask you something?”

“Can I buy you a drink?”

Opening a conversation this way instantly puts you at her mercy. In her eyes, you are a random stranger and you WANT something from her. This is an uncomfortable situation for anyone to be in.

Note: Offering to buy her a drink may sound like you want to GIVE her something, but she knows what you’ll expect in return: you’ll want to monopolize her time for the next ten or twenty minutes. When you offer to buy a drink for a woman you don’t even know, you’re basically attempting to bribe her into granting you some of her time.

Would a truly confident guy approach women this way? Absolutely not. There’s a correct point in the interaction to buy a girl a drink, and a clever way of doing it and it’s certainly not in the first 30 seconds.

One of the rules of effective conversation is for you to stay in control at all times. You maintain the “power position” and dictate the flow of the conversation and the topics that are discussed (and avoided). The key is to do this subtly. You can learn how to “invisibly” guide the conversation so that you make her laugh, experience positive emotions, and share personal details (such as her passions, ambitions and talents) that she’d normally never share with a guy she only met a few minutes ago.

This is when women begin to feel attraction, and you’re on your way to success.

The first key to maintaining this sense of power and control is NOT starting the conversation in a weak, uncertain manner. Asking permission is a surefire way to blow the conversation before it even begins. Don’t do it.

Deadly Approach Mistake #2: You must assume rapport.

When two people have “rapport” it means they’re comfortable with each other and have things in common. They vibe with each other in the manner of old friends — joking around, having fun, talking about topics of common interest instead of the conversation sounding like a job interview.

When a guy with weak approach game starts conversing with a woman, the “conversation” seems stiff and formal and usually consists of questions: “So what’s your name?” “Are you from around here?” “So what do you do for work?” He could be having this same conversation with his dentist!

On the other hand, the guy who is extremely good with women always assumes rapport. He doesn’t bother with the boring “getting to know you” questions. Right from the start, he’s joking around with her, playfully teasing her, asking her questions and telling quick stories that make her smile and stimulate her imagination.

He makes her feel invested in the conversation, and she’ll want to show that she can keep up with him. Even in the first few minutes he’s showing her that he’s a fun, dynamic, interesting guy who leads an attractive lifestyle.

Deadly Approach Mistake #3: Not having a conversational game plan and a closing strategy.

Most guys put way too much emphasis on what to say first (or how to “open” her). Actually, what you follow up with is far more important — how you transition into the conversation and get it flowing.

From there, you’ll want to use techniques of mine such as Hypotheticals, Advanced Cold Reads, and Hooks & Ladders (my method for making sure the conversation NEVER runs out of steam).

After You Approach Women, What Comes Next?

In short, you’ve got to know how to keep guiding the conversation forward so that it follows a sequence of steps that push her different “emotional buttons.” For example, building comfort is a crucial early step. No woman is going to want to give you her phone number (much less sleep with you that night) if you haven’t made her feel comfortable with you. This is why learning the right comfort-building techniques is so important.

Next, once comfort has been established, you’ll want to start challenging her & teasing her (but always in a light, playful way). This is the stage where you frame yourself as a high-value man who is “hard to get.” You’re going to make her work for your attention and positive feedback, and make her want to measure up to YOUR standards. (This is the complete opposite of how most guys interact with women, as they awkwardly try to demonstrate that they’re up to HER standards.)

Then comes the Escalation stage, and finally there is The Close. Depending on the circumstances, this could mean getting her phone number (and having her WANT to see you again soon, rather than ignoring your calls), or taking her home that night. So few guys understand how to “close” successfully.

Learning how to approach women and follow these steps means the difference between chatting with girls every time you go out but never sleeping with them - or seeing them again – and having the “rock star sex life” that most men can only fantasize about, leading a lifestyle filled with fun, beautiful women.

It means that literally anytime you leave your home – whether it’s to run errands, or to hit a bar or nightclub with your friends – you’ll look for opportunities to approach women and have fun interactions, instead of this being something you shy away from, or stress out about.

Cell Phone Etiquette

Andrew Wang — Sun, 10 Oct 2010 23:00:17 +0000

Long gone are the days of sitting beside your home phone waiting anxiously for your recent date to call you. The advent of the cell phone has done much to alter the way we communicate with those around us, including our romantic partners. Where do cell phone calls and texting fit into the dating landscape? How can you take maximum advantage of them in your relationship while still following proper dating etiquette?

Can You Answer Your Cell Phone On A Date?

First and foremost, let’s touch on a topic of frequent interest and dispute—when, if ever, is it appropriate to answer your cell phone on a date? With few exceptions (you’re a doctor or have some other on-call job, you’re expecting important news about a family member’s precarious health situation, etc.), you should put your phone on silent and forget about it. Nothing says “I’m bored with you,” faster than answering your cell or responding to a text in the middle of a dinner date. That’s a surefire way to convince your date that you feel they’re not worth your time. You’re not just hurting your date’s feelings, either—you are also distracting yourself from your own enjoyment of your time together. If you must check your phone, you can always wait until your date goes to use the restroom.

Can You Text Instead Of Call?

Another popular topic of contention is texting. In what situations is texting as appropriate as calling your significant other? A good rule of thumb is to consider texting someone to be a more casual form of communication than calling someone. If you just want to send your sweetie a sentence to let them know you’re thinking of them, or if you’re simply asking them to pick up some pizza for dinner, or sexting them something you want to do later, a text is totally acceptable. Not so if you’re asking them out on a date (especially if it’s the first or second date!), arguing, or apologizing for some sort of wrong-doing. Taking the time to call your boyfriend or girlfriend in these situations shows that you truly care. Additionally, remember that there is no good way to indicate sarcasm or sincerity in a text, so calling someone can save you from some serious (and possibly anger-inducing) confusion.

How Not To Use Your Cell Phone When Dating

There are still more hazards of cell phone use when it comes to relationships. Drunk-dialing is a terrible idea and a really good way to say something you’ll regret. Breaking up with someone over the phone is cowardly, but doing it via text message is even worse. Call things off in person and rest assured that your reputation won’t take a hit after the fact. No one wants to date the girl or guy who becomes notorious for dumping their exes in text form. Yet cell phones also have their benefits. If you’re in a serious relationship and go out of town on business, a quick check-in call or text each night can be a great way to show you care. Plus, you can use these rules to stand out in a sea of ill-mannered singles that don’t know how to behave better. Good cell phone etiquette, not unlike good manners in general, can give you an extra leg up in the dating scene. Just remember, when you use what you’ve learned here to find the person worth saying it to, that first “I love you” should be spoken in person. That means not on the phone, and certainly not in a text!

Dishing The Dating Dirt

Maryanne Comaroto — Sat, 09 Oct 2010 23:00:55 +0000

Okay, so you’ve been working on getting yourself ready for your next great relationship. You’ve dealt with the demons in your past and laid them to rest, you’ve built up a strong relationship with yourself, and now all you need is someone to share your life with! Suddenly, you start feeling doubtful and vulnerable at the thought of putting yourself out there again, making yourself available for heartache and pain. But it doesn’t have to be like that, and that’s why I want to tell you about part of my tried-and-tested inner-view process. If you can learn how to navigate the sea of 1.45 million potential mates out there for you, you have a much greater chance of finding someone who might be a good match!

Key Rules For Successful Dating

Here’s something to think about: why are you single right now? It sounds like a silly question, but understanding why you want to start the process of moving toward a healthy relationship is just as important as knowing how to do it. This is certainly where we often go wrong when we meet someone we think we like.

So, the game plan, if you’re ready to get started:

Relax. This is supposed to be enjoyable, and it is!
Non-negotiables are called that for a reason – don’t compromise on the things you really want.
Don’t forget who you are and what you want, instead of spending your effort being what other people want.
You may think that The Real You is not as attractive as Seductive You, but do you want someone to get to know your seduction routine, or who you really are?

Inner-Viewing For Success

You don’t have time to get to know 1.45 million people, so how do you weed out some serious candidates? Intuition is the best way to figure out who deserves a little more of your time and who doesn’t. With 97% of our incoming information being processed pre-cognitively, you can learn pretty much everything you need to know from your gut feelings.

Remember these things about GREAT relationships:

Love is not external. You create and generate it inside yourself, and there is an endless supply. It is not something people can give or take away from you.
Intimacy is not a tool used on the first date to try to get a second date. It grows over time as two people learn to trust each other.
There is only one chance to have a first kiss with someone, and the anticipation can be just as wonderful. So don’t rush to get it out of the way. If someone is interested in a real relationship, they will wait with you until the time is right.

Questions To Ask A Potential Mate Before The Date

Here are some essential questions to ask before you give out your contact information and make the first date:

What is this person connected to? Okay, you just met, but you should be able to build at least some context around a person, even if you’ve just started getting to know them. Where did they go to college? Do they live nearby? Do you have any mutual friends? At the risk of sounding dramatic, getting basic information about a person and checking them out can be a life-or-death thing. Don’t be afraid to use Google to help you learn more about someone. Get their full name and do a little investigating.
Where do they live? Long distance relationships may sound romantic and very Hollywood, but in reality they’re extremely hard work, and usually end up either with someone relocating, or with a breakup. If you’re not up for that, then make sure this person lives in your local area before you start connecting with them.
Are they single AND available? Just because someone is paying attention to you or flirting like mad doesn’t mean they’re not married. And just because someone is not married doesn’t mean they’re ready or wanting to be in a relationship! Find out right at the beginning if someone is just playing around with you.

Asking these questions may seem corny, but it’s not difficult, and it can cut out a lot of exasperation later. If you respect yourself enough not to waste time with all the wrong people, then the right people will start respecting you in return. It’s a great way to look after both your heart and your safety.

When Does Baggage Weigh Down Your Relationship?

Andrew Wang — Sat, 02 Oct 2010 23:00:50 +0000

Baggage can be a total burden, whether you’re talking about the suitcases you take with you on vacation or the issues that you bring from your romantic past into your present relationship. Ask anyone who saw the recent movie Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (or read the graphic novels the film was based on)— if you’ve encountered relationship baggage, you can relate to the tale of Scott. He has to defeat his girlfriend’s “evil exes” before they can have a happy, successful relationship. The whole movie is an allegory for how baggage from previous relationships can cause your current love match to fall apart if left unmanaged. The key is to figure out what things are worth taking away from your past experiences, and what things are better off forgotten by all.

How To Tell Which Of Your Baggage Needs To Go

What, then, is baggage worth getting rid of? Anything that gets in the way of your ability to trust your current partner is definitely a problem. If you find yourself constantly doubting your significant other’s honesty just because you had a previous bad experience, you’re only hurting your relationship and yourself. That’s not to say that you should venture forth blindly into a new relationship. However, if you’ve been with someone for several weeks, and they’ve done nothing to warrant your suspicion, then you need to allow yourself to further trust them. People are not all the same, and getting into that mindset is a dangerous thing when it comes to relationships. Trust and communication are truly key to a relationship’s success, so any baggage that’s hindering you in those departments needs to be dealt with, pronto. Besides, you’ll enjoy every moment of your relationship so much more if you’re not constantly trying to catch your mate in a lie.

How Low-Self Esteem Will Destroy Your Relationship

Another type of baggage that can be extremely detrimental is the type that leads to low self-esteem. It may sound like corny self-help-speak, but you really can’t love someone else until you learn to love yourself. Maybe when you were younger, you had a major crush on a classmate who wouldn’t give you the time of day because you were too tall/short/skinny/fat/smart/ditzy/etc. Odds are that the object of your heartbreak was probably oblivious in general, or perhaps just really mean, and you were never as ugly or awkward as you were made to feel. Odds are also good that you’re a pretty different person now than you were then. Maturity has many benefits. If you continue to go through life doubting your appeal to others because of a past mishap, you’re hurting not just yourself, but your potential dates as well. You can’t let negative baggage convince you that you’re not worthy of someone else’s romantic affections. Start focusing on all of the things there are to like about you. Confidence is attractive—self-doubt is not. Remind yourself that all that bad stuff happened in the past and should be left there. You’re a more evolved person in the present.

Learn From Your Past Relationships

Of course, though there is much bad baggage that should be gotten rid of, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t value what we’ve learned from past relationships. If you really want to make the best of your previous experience, focus more on what those old relationships have taught you about yourself than about the other involved parties. Instead of letting a bad break at the hands of a cheater teach you that all members of the opposite sex aren’t to be trusted, take away from that experience that honesty and open communication are very important to you. Be sure to express that to your next boy- or girlfriend. Maybe your last long term relationship was filled with nasty fights because your ex preferred to spend way more of their time with their friends than with you. Instead of freaking out the first time your new significant other mentions girls’ or boys’ night, recognize that you’re someone that wants a lot of one-on-one time in your relationship. Calmly bring this up, and work with your new love to find a good friend-time and romantic-time balance. However, if your current guy or gal keeps trending toward the same bad habits as your ex AFTER these conversations, you probably should consider a breakup. Just don’t let your baggage make you jump to conclusions before you’ve had a heart-to-heart or two.

How To Create A Connection That Will Last Before Having Sex

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 23:00:02 +0000

Earlier, I looked at a recent study by the University of Iowa that found that relationships that start with a spark and not much else aren’t necessarily doomed from the get-go. However, in the study, UI sociologist Anthony Paik found that average relationship quality was higher for individuals who waited until things were serious to have sex compared to those who became sexually involved in “hookups,” “friends with benefits,” or casual dating relationships.

It just takes a bit of common sense to figure out that rushing into things sexually before knowing a few of the basics about someone probably won’t end favorably unless you’re lucky. And because basing a relationship on luck isn’t a great idea either, here are a few ways to bring up some initial compatability issues before making a physical or sexual commitment to someone.

Address These Issues With A Potential Mate Before Hopping In The Sack

Talk about money. Yes, it’s a touchy subject and I’m not suggesting you delineate how much each person makes, but finding out where financial priorities lie can be important. Talk about how money has been used in their family: worries, abandonment, shame, blame around money. Questions like this will eliminate any problems or irreconcilable differences, and is a way to see who is flexible and who is not, in reference to money and power, and struggles over money. I talk about the importance of this discussion and further techniques in my book, Financial Infidelity.

Embrace conflict. Another important tip in the compatibility of a relationship is to make sure you fight fair. Even new, exciting, young relationships have their share of conflict as you get to know eachother, and while you may not face intense, knock-down, drag-out fights early on, it is essential to walk in your partner’s shoes rather than trying to be right. Instead of shame and blame you should give three solutions, and your partner has to pick at least one. Fighting fairly creates the tension that gives you passion and makes you feel safe.

Make the first move! I suggest women should make the first move in connecting for a first date and getting past that possible lull of uncertainty. If you like him, tell him! (But, PS, texting and emailing during the day can actually deflate the spark of in-person romance!)

There’s a happy medium between putting off physical intimacy forever (unless that’s something you’ve mutually decided on) and jumping in right away. These techniques can help you get to know each other better in the interim and ensure that you’re ready for the next step, when you get to that point.

The Secret to Lasting Love – Better Than Flowers And Chocolate

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 14:00:42 +0000

After you’ve been together for a while and the initial euphoria wears off, it’s easy to keep finding faults and to focus on the problems and bumps and forget the wonderful things that made you fall in love in the first place. Here’s the best way to keep the love and romance alive in your relationship, no flowers or chocolate required!

Gratitude Journal

When things get rough in your relationship, it’s important to remember what made you first fall in love with your partner. Chances are, the reasons you love your partner are still the reasons you love your partner but day to day stresses have just gotten in the way. It’s easy to focus on little annoyances when things aren’t going your way and this can often put a lot of strain on the relationship. Instead of going over and over why you’re mad at your partner or what they’re doing that really irks you, try focusing on what you love about your partner. Start a gratitude journal. Every day, write down five things that you love about your partner, or that made you fall in love with them in the beginning. Do this for thirty days and you’ll find that all those little annoyances aren’t such a big deal anymore and its easier to remember why your partner is important to you.

Create A LoveBook

A LoveBook is a great option for putting your gratitude journal into something you can give as a great gift and keep for years to come. Sign up for a free account online and start making your LoveBook right away. Pick between a hard or soft cover and choose your cover art. Then, pick from pre-made pages of things you love about your partner or create your very own page. Each page has an illustration on it to help bring the book to life. Once you’re finished putting it all together, order your LoveBook and have it sent to your home. Now you have something to look back on when you’re feeling frustrated in your relationship or give as a perfect romantic gift for birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day or just because.

LoveBook Gift Ideas

A LoveBook is a great gift for your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend or partner. This is originally what the LoveBook was designed for, and you simply can’t get any more personal or original with your gift. Forget the bland “flowers-and-chocolate-or-dinner-reservations” gifts and get your partner something really special instead. LoveBooks also make great gifts for parents and grandparents to let them know how thankful you are and how much you appreciate them in your life. Make a LoveBook for your child on their birthday or on any day to let them know all the reasons you think they’re a stellar kid and why you’re proud of them. If you use your imagination, you can give a LoveBook to just about anyone and let them know why they’re important to you and why they’re a big part of your life! Of course, giving a LoveBook to your partner is super special, and it’s so easy you can make one every year to let them know how your love for them continues to grow and grow.

Q&A: What Is A Soulmate?

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 23:00:53 +0000

Couples in love may wonder if they’ve met their soul mate. Everything is perfect and it even seems like this person finishes your sentences for you. But how do you really know if you’re with your soul mate and what happens when the initial “love at first sight” feeling wears off and you’re experiencing day to day life with someone you have a soul level connection with?

Question: Hey Dan and Jennifer, my question for you what are both of your opinions on the concept on “soul mates,” and can you put that concept into what it’s like on a daily basis?

–YouTube Viewer

What Is A Soul Connection?

A soul connection is described differently by a lot of people. There are many different opinions on what a soul mate is and if soul mates even exist. Everyone has their own opinion on whether soul mates exist or don’t, as well as what a soul connection is like when you experience it. Some people who have never experienced a soul connection are very doubtful that soul mates are possible, while someone who has experienced that deep level of love and trust will never doubt its existence. The most common description of a soul connection between two people is when both people just “know” that they need to be in each other’s lives, be it at that moment, for that week or for life. Some people feel like it is “love at first sight,” but what each person seems to agree upon is that it is a feeling about someone that goes very deep, possibly deeper than you’ve ever felt before.

Who Can You Have A Soul Connection With?

People can have a soul connection with just about anyone. Gender, social status, money or life experiences have nothing to do with whom you have a soul connection with. You may have a soul connection with a friend or a lover, or more than one person. There isn’t just one “soul mate” for each person out there on the planet. A soul connection can be had with anyone, or more than one person at a time. One soul mate doesn’t trump another, although different types of soul connections can exist. You may have a deep connection with an old friend, but you may also have a very deep connection with your partner. Both are equally important to you and nurture your soul in different ways.

What Is Day To Day Life Like With A Soul Mate?

Even if you’re in a long term relationship with your soul mate, your relationship and day to day life may not always be smooth sailing. Day to day issues are going to get in the way, such as bills and kids, and you and your partner may not always be in agreement about everything. You and your partner may not see eye to eye on everything, but the important part about soul mates is that after the storms blow over at the end of the day, you and your partner still feel that deep love between each other and still feel like you’re playing on the same team.

Beware Of Dating Via Social Networks

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 00:00:21 +0000

A woman in the UK recently set up a Facebook page to help her facilitate sexual encounters. The page, entitled “I Need Sex” has since been shut down but before it was, the owner, Laura Michaels, said she met up with and slept with 50 men. Admitted Michaels, “I know that it was risky behavior but that was part of the thrill.”

According UK paper The Sun, Michaels admitted some people might “look down on me” for her behaviour and said some might even say that she may as well have been a prostitute because then she would at least have been paid for sleeping with so many different men, but she said: “I don’t see it like that at all. I was satisfying my own desires by setting up the group.”

Social Networking vs. Online Dating Sites

Gathering dates on social networking sites can be much riskier and more dangerous than utilizing online dating sites for a number of reasons, one of which being dating sites are set up to deal with issues of safety and privacy whereas social networks aren’t focused on that in terms of facilitating meetings and dates. Another issue is that it’s possible for people looking to date or hook up on social networking sites may more often be like Laura Michaels: seeking a thrill. Utilizing this method can be a bad way of trying to get attention.

As Michaels admitted to, this behavior is risky. People seeking it out usually have problems with intimacy and aren’t of the caliber that would create a healthy, fulfilling, safe relationship. It’s this thrill-seeking behavior that can often lead to affairs and other relationship troubles down the road.

It’s a way of over-riding true emotions by opting for a “high” instead. It could be the case that people looking for lots of casual encounters via social networking are seeking out a way to mask the fact that they don’t want to deal with their emotions or don’t know how to engage in true intimacy. It’s a way of acting out – not talking out – extreme feelings in a person’s life.

How Social Networking Can Kill Your Potential Relationships

Additionally, social networks – while they certainly have a number of good, positive aspects – have created a culture of self-indulgence where it’s easy to broadcast any and everything about yourself and find exactly what you’re looking for. This is another behavior that’s fraught with problems when it comes to the point of trying to create a committed relationship. People who have been going a mile a minute, playing fast and loose with sex, emotions and everything in between will find that they have a difficult time honing in on a relationship.

Of course, people seeking these types of thrills aren’t usually concerned with a potential relationship down the road and that’s just the problem – they’re in it for the high the feel in the moment without examining what’s making them seek that high. Just as I encourage couples suffering from this thrill-seeking behavior to communicate with each other, I would instruct single people indulging in risky behavior to communicate with themselves; dig deeper than indulging a momentary desire and learn what feeds the need to act in such a way.

Dating In The Same Industry: Is It A Relationship Dealbreaker?

Andrew Wang — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 00:00:20 +0000

Though it sounds similar, dating someone at your work can be very different from dating someone who works in the same industry. For example, politicians Bill and Hilary Clinton, writers Stephen and Tabitha King, artists Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo, or actors Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner may have never worked in the same office, co-wrote a book, shared a canvas, or acted in the same movie (respectively). However, they have traveled in the same circles, experienced the similar troubles, and strived to accomplish somewhat identical goals as the other.

Finding love within your field of work is very common since you are more likely to bump into one another and because you have a built-in shared interests (not only the career itself, but the traits that go along with it, like creativity, debate, expression, etc.). Also, knowing the complications and processes which accompany a particular position, that person is bound to be more sympathetic and able to better understand your project or plight.

Downsides To Dating In Your Industry

However, there are downsides to dating a fellow writer, lawyer, actor, or anyone else who shares your title. To start, could a conflict of interest cause a break up? If you find yourselves representing opposing clients or contesting for the same project, that competition can extend to your personal relationship. You may even be tempted use your intimate knowledge or position as a way to sabotage their chances from within (such as casually extracting private details about the project and, in turn, sharing them with your boss).

Another downside is that you are bound to know the same people, maybe even share the same friends. “Wait, this doesn’t sound like a bad thing,” you may be saying. Let me tell you, though, when it turns out your coworker is actually your boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend or your best guy-friend was once punched by him in a drunken brawl, well, you can see where interacting with the same people can be a bad thing. Industry gossip can fly faster than a Boeing, and you may find yourselves caught up in it. Yet even if there were never any drama between the various parties, it can still be frustrating to share friends.

Finally, how would your relationship endure the success of one or the failure of another partner? One person is bound to earn more, gain more recognition, or achieve a higher position than the other. Would you be able to set aside your own feelings of hurt or rejection in order to praise your partner for his good work? Moreover, would you be willing to take a professional hit, if it meant that your partner would come out on top? Unfortunately, this kind of decision does occasionally surface and, when it does, it will be up to you to decide how your relationship will fare.

From Boyfriend To Just Friends: Staying Friends With Your Ex

Andrew Wang — Thu, 12 Aug 2010 23:00:41 +0000

Well, it didn’t last. You may have found love and lost it. Or maybe you just couldn’t find any love between you and your boyfriend to begin with and now feel you are better off keeping it platonic. This always seems to be the next logical step after a breakup: Let’s stay friends.

But why do you want to stay friends? If it because you have common interests and get along like the best of friends, great! However, if it is just because the thought of him not being in your life makes your heart ache, this is the wrong reason. Think about how much worse your heart will feel when he finds someone new and expects you to like her.

In fact, if you want a list of reasons why you should not stay friends with an ex, here you go: you want to stay in his life, you want to keep tabs on him, you want to see who he is dating, you want to keep him wrapped around your finger, you want to make him jealous of your new boyfriend, you want to keep him around for the future just in case and the absolutely worst reason? Because you still love him.

Why Being Friends Might Not Work

Just let it go. You are not friends. You are a tie which is waiting to be cut.

The key to making a friendship work just like a relationship is communication. You must talk about your feelings for one another and where you stand in each others’ lives. A piece of misguided advice you may hear a lot is to not discuss new relationships with one another. However, this begs the question, why not? If you are not able to talk about your new boyfriend or to hear the details of his new girlfriend, why is it? My guess is you’re not quite over him (or vice versa). And if you are not over him, you cannot truly be friends with him yet.

Together, you should discuss what went wrong with your own relationship and why you are better suited as friends. Only after you have come to terms with these facts can you move on and allow each other to be happy with someone else.

When He Meets Someone Else

Which brings me to my final point: you must be friendly with his new girlfriend. Once she hears of your past fling, she is bound to feel awkward, jealous, or even angry with you for sticking around. Ease her worries and reassure her that you have no intentions of stealing him away. In turn, when you have a new boyfriend, he may also feel uncomfortable with your continuing friendship. Your ex should put forth effort to befriend him. Nevertheless, if after all this, your new boyfriend is still bothered by the situation, you should ask yourself: is a friendship with my ex worth a possible breakup?

Q&A: Dating Tips – How Do I Make Her Like Me Even Though I’m White

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 14:00:48 +0000

You like someone, but they don’t like you for some silly, superficial reason. What do you do? Should you try your best to get them to see past whatever it is that makes them not want to date you (because it is silly, after all) or do you simply let go and accept yourself for who you are? Here’s what to do when someone doesn’t want to date you because of something on the outside and won’t take time to get to know you on the inside.

Question: A girl says she only likes men who aren’t white. Is there a way to get her to like me even though I’m white?

–YouTube Viewer

Everyone Has Their Own Preferences

You’ve heard the saying, “to each their own.” This applies perfectly to this situation, because the truth of the matter is, everyone likes what they like. They also don’t like what they don’t like, and very rarely does that ever change. If it does, it is usually not because someone tried to “get” them to change their minds, but because the person themselves decided to try something new. If someone you like doesn’t like white people, or blondes or people that are too fat or too thin or even nerds or jocks for that matter, it may be superficial but you have to realize it’s what they like and that’s just the way it is. You like what you like (and don’t like what you don’t like) and while you may be more open minded than other people about who you want to date, you still have your preferences. Other people have theirs too, whether it seems silly to you or not and there’s just not much you can do about it.

Why “Getting” Someone To Like You Can Backfire

Trying to get someone to like you if they don’t can really end up blowing up in your face if you aren’t careful. Often, people who are trying to make someone like them end up trying too hard and end up losing themselves in the process. If someone you like doesn’t like certain things about you such as your hair or your body build, you may feel compelled to get a hair cut or color and sign up for an expensive gym membership, spending the majority of your time working out. In essence, people end up changing themselves so much in the process of trying to make someone like them that they can’t stay in touch with their true selves. And in the end, it usually doesn’t work anyway and they still don’t like you. At the end of the day, you’re disappointed with a version of yourself that you’re not familiar with. Many people in this situation have pushed away friends and family during this time as well. Of course, this is worst case scenario. Regardless of what happens, however, trying to “make” someone like you very rarely works out to that person’s advantage.

Being Confident In Who You Are

Take a break from dating and figure out who you are, what you like and what you don’t like. Figure out things you’re willing to sacrifice in a relationship and what you’re not. Learn to be confident in yourself and love yourself for who you are, just the way you are. When you start dating again, date people who are interested in the real you and will accept you as you are. There are plenty of those people out there!

Q&A: Flirting Tips – How To Deal With That Awkward Silence

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 14:00:13 +0000

It happens to everyone – you know, that awkward silence or conversation dead zone during a date where neither you nor your partner are sure what to say next. Are silences always uncomfortable, or can it be a good thing sometimes? Here’s how to enjoy the silence from time to time, but also how to plan things to ask so you and your partner can have great conversations and really get to know each other!

Question: I want to know what to say when it gets all silent when you’re talking to girl, because I really don’t know what to say next! I feel like I’ve already talked about everything. Please help, thanks!

–YouTube Viewer

Silence Isn’t Always A Bad Thing

Having a few quiet moments during a date isn’t so bad, especially if you’re having a meal together. You and your partner need time to actually eat! Society conditions us to be around noise all the time, through television, radio and the Internet. Most people’s homes nowadays aren’t quiet at all – there’s always some kind of noise or talking going on in the background. So naturally, people begin to feel comfortable around constant noise and are actually made uncomfortable by being in silence. Sometimes silence is good. However, there is a big difference between that good old fashioned “comfortable silence” and the awkward kind that can go on a bit too long. Here’s how to combat the latter.

Learn More About Her

While you may be tempted to talk on and on about yourself because you’re A) not really sure what questions to ask her and B) you’re afraid of letting the conversation die, talking only about yourself on the first date is the quickest way to throw away your chance at a second date. Take some time to plan out some different types of questions to ask your date so you can get to learn more about her. Ask her questions about her day, where she works, what she likes and what her favorite things are. Ask her what she might do in different hypothetical situations. Believe it or not, these types of questions can help you learn a lot about a person! Be prepared to answer the same questions yourself. You may find that a lot of questions open up new conversations!

Use A Cheat Sheet

If you’re talking to your partner on the phone, having a cheat sheet full of questions you want to ask is a great way to keep the conversation going. While some dead time is almost always acceptable during a face to face date, dead time on the phone usually isn’t. Need some help thinking of questions to ask your date to keep the conversation going? Use Michael Webb’s 1000 Questions For Couples. It’s a comprehensive guide absolutely chock full of tons of questions that you can ask your partner – and not just the usual ones that you hear all the time. These questions will really get the ball rolling on a date. They’re also great questions to ask even if you’ve been in a committed relationship with someone, because many of these questions you probably won’t know the answer to even if you’ve been with your partner for years!

Q&A: Dating A Younger Woman Or Man

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 05 Aug 2010 14:00:12 +0000

Age differences between a two people who are dating are becoming more and more common. As Internet dating becomes more popoular and as people become more openminded in an evolving society, age doesn’t necessarily mean a whole lot these days. However, when does age matter when dating a younger woman or a younger man? Are there ways to keep dating outside of your “age range” safe for both you and your partner?

Question: Hey Dan and Jennifer, this girl and I have been talking and she and I both really like each other, but our age difference is substantial, however, I don’t see a problem with it. She still likes me but she is nervous to be with me. What is your advice on my situation?

–YouTube Viewer

The Older You Get, The Less It Matters

When you get older, an age difference between you and your partner matters less and less. For example, if you’re 75 and your partner is just 60, it’s less of an issue than if you’re 32 and your partner is 17. If you or your partner are currently middle age, then there is even less to worry about. If you are 40 and your partner is 55, you’ll find that people are actually surprised that you’re fifteen years apart! If you’re young, however, the age difference can easily become a big deal. Even just a few years in this case can be a problem. If you’re 16 and your partner is 18 or even 19, you’ll notice that a lot of people have something to say about dating a younger woman or man.

Take It Slow

When you’re young, don’t be afraid to take it slow if you and your partner are a few or several years apart. There’s nothing wrong with taking it slow and it can pose less of an issue if you and your partner are dating without being sexually active, depending on your age. This comes into play more often if one partner is under the age of eighteen and one partner is over the age of eighteen. The younger man or woman may want to wait until they turn eighteen before the couple takes the relationship to the next level. Regardless of the age difference, however, make sure you and your partner are both ready to take that step if the time comes. If you aren’t, there’s no reason to rush it!

When It Becomes A Legal Problem

Legally, eighteen is the age in which people can give consent to have sex. If you or your partner are under the age of eighteen and one of you is over, it can become a legal issue when sex becomes involved. A vindictive parent may decide they want to press charges for “statutory rape” or “corruption of a minor” even if the “victim” is just a few weeks or even days shy of being eighteen. Parents can press charges even if the “victim” was fully consenting of the sexual act. The statute of limitations on this kind of charge is long enough that you could be in trouble well after your partner turns eighteen. If both partners are under the age of eighteen, the issue becomes less of a problem as both parties involved are considered minors. However, once one partner turns eighteen, legally you and your partner can get in more trouble than it was worth. The best thing to do in a situation like this is play it safe and wait!

Top Things Men Do To Screw Up A First Date

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 23:00:47 +0000

So guys, you got her number, you set it up, and here you both are. On the first date. Congratulations! Not! Any idiot can get a date with a woman, but what if you want to be dating her? How do you get from the first date to the second? Well, let’s start with what NOT to do. One step at a time, grasshopper.

Top Things Men Do To Screw Up A First Date – What She Said

How could a man screw up a first date? Oh, let me count the ways! John’s going to hate this, but I’m gonna say it – if a man asks a woman out on a first date and doesn’t pay, it’s a huge turnoff. Show me some effort, show me respect – and don’t show up late. Once again, I’m not saying it comes down to how much you spend – in this case it’s truly the thought that counts. That said, let me countdown the proverbial “Top Ten:”

1. See above. Have plan and have your wallet on hand. You don’t want to pay? There probably won’t be a second date. The last thing I want to hear the first time out is, “How ya doin’ for cash?” How am I doing? Fine, thanks to the $20 I have in my purse that I’m using to take a cab home.

2. Ogling other women. You want to eye that waitress’s ass? Do it on your own time. I’m not crazy enough to think you’re never going to look at another woman, but the first date isn’t the time or place.

3. Pressing for sex. If there’s a mutual attraction, it’ll happen in its own sweet time. A first date is different from a one-night stand. Know the difference.

4. Expecting your mind to be read. Did you have a great time? Call and say so! Guesswork isn’t sexy.

5. Talking about the ex. This is our time to get to know each other. Chatting about another woman isn’t high on my list. Keep the ex-girlfriend information to yourself until the relationship deepens.

6. Cell phone. Keep the cell phone in your pocket. Stopping to take a call, text or check your email? Not cool. Eyes and ears akimbo. If you’ve got a busy phone, enjoy the buzzing in your pocket and check your messages later.

7. Getting drunk – like really, really drunk. Do a few beers make you a little chatty? Great. Nothing wrong with a warm glow, as long as safe transportation is arranged. Irish Car Bombs and a Taco Bell run? No excuse for this behavior, unless your next stop is AA.

8. Referring to yourself in the third person. It’s not wrong – but it creeps me out. It makes me wonder what other personality tics you have tucked away.

9. Showing up with another person. It’s a date, not a party. Save the chaperone for the 8th grade dance.

10. Talking too much. Do you loooove the sound of your own voice above all others? Then you might as well skip the date and stay home with your mirror. Talking incessantly due to nerves is one thing. Extolling your virtues via a monologue is another.

Top Things Men Do To Screw Up A First Date – What He Said

It’s funny that Jenna said guys need to show up on time. I love showing up late for dates. I do it purposefully, because most women are always late, and I figure, I’ve got extra time, and why not make HER wait for ME? Anyhoo, here’s the list:

As a guy, you have to realize the cold hard facts. A man doesn’t choose a woman. A woman chooses a man. If you want a girl that’s a “10,” that’s fine, but why should she choose you? You have to provide her with something that no one else does. That starts with being interesting. Have opinions. Voice them, without being overbearing or close minded. Be someone she can’t figure out. Be mysterious, yet open. Chicks love that stuff.

1. Not taking the lead. It’s a man’s job to lead. Period. Most women (assuming they are feminine and not masculine in nature) want to be led. That doesn’t mean be a dick, but it does mean you are the director of the experience. As Chris Rock once said, “anything you mutter ain’t getting done.” Saying “Where do you want to go?” won’t get you anywhere. Saying “Oh my god. You totally need to try the Margaritas at [X], meet me there Sunday at 7:30” will work. If she can’t make it, she’ll let you know, but she wants a man, damn it. Be the man.

2. Being predictable. Ever wonder why women love those bad boys? It’s because they don’t know what’s coming next. They have absolutely no idea what to expect, and they love that. They need that. They crave it. It’s something primal for them, almost. Now I’m not advocating treating women like crap, but if you can offer them the best of both worlds, she’ll eat that up. Be mysterious. Tell her to pack a bag for the weekend, and refuse to tell her where she’s going. Always keep her guessing. She should never know everything about you. Always keep a little bit hidden.

3. Treating it like a job interview. I’m not saying don’t get to know her. I’m just saying I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen people out on dates, and they have all the sexual chemistry of a job interview. In Utah. I’m not saying you have to take her in the bathroom and do her, but you have to let her know you have sexual desire for her, and not be too shy about it, but not be too forceful either.

If I’m on a date with a woman and I don’t generate some sexual electricity, I will wind up in the friend zone (that is, if I am ‘lucky’).

4. Listening to her words, and not her body. Before you cut my head off, let me explain. Listen to her words yes, but pay extra attention to what she’s saying WITHOUT words. Often times her mouth will say one thing, but her body will say another. I remember going out with a woman on a first date and I thought it was going horrible. Why? Because she kept telling me how full of shit I was. Kept telling no, but her body was SCREAMING yes. Her eyes were super dilated, as if she was forcing them open to take all of me in, kept “accidentally” bumping into me, playing with her hair etc. I was shocked when I got a second date, because I was so clueless on the first.

5. Going too sexual too fast. Jenna said don’t force sex on the first date. I agree, but I don’t think there’s a set time frame for when sex is appropriate. The right time is when it feels right for her. That can be ten dates from the first time you meet, or ten minutes from the time you meet. It all boils down to how you do it, no pun intended. A one night stand is different that relationship sex. The difference can be summed up in one word: comfort. She needs a different comfort level for relationship sex. She wants you to want to want her, but for more than just booty. She needs to know that

6. Not setting up the second date. If you want a second date with this person, it should be set up long before you ask for it, midway through the first date ideally. Make plans for the second one, subtly. Start by dropping hints about amazing places to take her, restaurants that you know of (one’s that she’s never tried, of course), things like that. Relationships are all about planting seeds (not like that, you pervert). So sew them well.

Q&A: Do You Lose Your Friends When You Fall In Love?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 14:00:43 +0000

When many people fall in love, the relationships they have with other people (such as their friends) start to fade. Is this something inevitable that happens whenever people fall in love and commit themselves to a relationship with one other person, or is it something that can be avoided? Can you keep your friends after you fall in love?

Question: Do you lose your friends once you fall in love?

–YouTube Viewer

All Relationships Require Nurturing

Every single relationship requires “care” and “feeding.” Whether it’s a friendship, a committed relationship, a work relationship or other type of relationship, each one will require you to nurture it for the relationship to last. A friendship cannot last if you do not spend time with your friends or stop calling them. Each relationship requires a certain amount of give and take. If your friends are doing all of the giving and you’re not giving them anything back, your friendships are going to fizzle quickly.

Why New Relationships Cause People To Lose Friends

It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new relationship. When you’re in love with someone, you naturally want to spend all your time with them. Any free moment that you get will be spent with them, while everyone else waits on the sidelines. Of course, not everyone will wait for you to find some time in your schedule for them and will soon go about their business. Pretty soon, you won’t have anyone sitting on the sidelines waiting for you. Unfortunately, this happens all to often with new relationships. People don’t take the time out they need to for their friends, instead they spend almost all of their time with their new boyfriend or girlfriend. Eventually, they’ll notice that they really don’t have any friends left. This can even happen to the deepest, longest lasting friendships. Even if you have been friends with someone since kindergarten and you have seen each other through everything, if you don’t devote some time to your friends, you stand a very good chance of losing them.

Find Time For Your Friends

While you may be tempted to spend the majority of your time with your boyfriend or girlfriend because everything is so new and feels so wonderful, it’s important that you make time for your friends too. Schedule a regular “girls” or “guys” night out once a week or every couple of weeks. Take some time to connect with your friends, talking about what is going on in your life and asking them about theirs. You may also be tempted to talk your friends’ ears off about how great your new boyfriend or girlfriend is, but make sure you listen to them talk about their lives too. You may devote plenty of time to your friends, but if all they’re doing is listening to you go on about your life, they’re going to start coming up with excuses as to why they can’t do girls’ night this week. Ideally, your friendships should stay the same no matter what type of relationships you’re going through. Whether you’re in a relationship, out of a relationship or playing the field, your friendships should be the rock you can rely on throughout everything.

Dating A Stripper – The Pros, The Woes, And The Hos

Andrew Wang — Wed, 21 Jul 2010 23:00:49 +0000

It would be both unfair and inaccurate to say that one can’t have a successful relationship with a stripper. To start, no two strippers are alike: they have different upbringings, different philosophies and ideals, different motives, and even different entrance songs. However, there are relationship problems which are specific to people working in this industry. These are not meant to dissuade you from dating Ms. Right-Up-On-Stage, but rather, to help you decide if you will be compatible.

Why Is She Stripping?

The first thing you must consider is her reason for stripping. This can be a telling factor in whether you may want to stay with her or not. If, for example, she is just working her way through college (as the tired cliche goes), then it may be possible to temporarily set aside any misgivings you may have. Yet if she strips because it gives her power or makes her feel desirable, be prepared for a low self-esteem and a whole lot of baggage.

What are her future plans for stripping? Is it a gig or is it a career? While you may not begrudge her for doing what she has to do for a couple months, will you be as accepting after several years? Think of if/when you decide to have children. There is no maternity leave for strippers, no Bring Your Child to Work Day. Moreover, in the event that she is laid off or fired, many strippers find it difficult to transition into a regular job not only because of the drastic difference in compensation, but also, commonly, because of their lack of job skills. Knowing how to hang upside down on a pole will not fix a jammed printer or create a spreadsheet.

Is There Intimacy Between You And Her?

Then there is the joke about how the sex life of both gynecologists and strippers dwindle because they don’t like bringing their work home. Yet there is a bit of truth to it. When a stripper spends every night forcing intimacy with strangers, it can become difficult to not force it at home, as well. Also, after feeling objectified by lusty men night after night, she may less than stoked to find an amorous boyfriend waiting at home.

What about the pros, you ask. There may be some benefits to dating a stripper. To start, she has to at least be somewhat attractive, right? Probably has a nice body and decent sense of rhythm. If she goes into the industry with a rational mind, she will have entertaining stories to tell. And frankly, let’s face it: you get to have what hundreds of guys want.

Are There Really Pros To Dating A Stripper?

But what about the other kind of pros? I’m talking about the professionals, the strippers who take their craft to the next step as a way to rake in even more money. This stereotype holds more than just a nugget of truth: there are many strippers who have sex or perform other physical acts with clients. Unfortunately, this is a large part (albeit unofficial) part of the lifestyle. Not every stripper will succumb to this impromptu pay-raise; but let’s face it, she will be exposed to it.

What a bummer, I know. It doesn’t sound nearly as sexy or glamorous as it did in your head when you and your buddies saw her dancing last Friday. Nevertheless, if you feel none of this is a dealbreaker, give it a try. Don’t let this dressing down steer you away from what could be true love.

Q&A: How Do I Ask My Girlfriend For Naked Pictures?

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 14:00:45 +0000

If you’d rather look at a naked picture of your girlfriend rather than look at porn, you’re not alone. But how can you get her to take a naked picture and most of all, how can you get her to give it to you? Can you just ask her for a naked picture of herself, or is there more to it than that? Here’s what you need to know before asking your lady love for a photo of her lady parts.

Question: Can you tell me how can I ask my girlfriend for a naked picture? We have been together almost a year but I’ve never seen her naked! So how can I ask her for naked picture? Is there any special way I should ask her?

–YouTube Viewer

Have You Been Intimate Together Yet?

If you and your girlfriend haven’t had sex together yet, it’s understandable why you would want to see a naked picture of her. You’ve probably fantasized about what she would look like naked, and depending on how long you have been dating, you might be tired of waiting! However, there are many reasons why you shouldn’t ask your girlfriend for a naked picture of herself, especially if you haven’t been intimate with her yet!

When Asking For A Naked Picture Can Get Creepy

If you and your girlfriend haven’t had sex with each other yet, asking for a naked picture of her can be downright creepy and somewhat stalker-ish! For people to be comfortable enough with each other to pass naked pictures of each other back and forth, they usually have to had sex first. That doesn’t mean hurry up and have sex with your girlfriend just so you can get a naked picture of her though! Enjoy your relationship now, and intimacy will happen in its own time. There are many ways that having her take a picture of herself in the nude with her bare breasts can backfire, especially if you and her are under the age of eighteen. If you and her (or just her) are under the age of eighteen, having her take a nude photo is actually illegal and could get you in a lot of trouble. Plus, naked pictures always seem to get into the hands of people who shouldn’t have them, no matter how hard you try to keep them to yourself. Her parents may find them on her phone, or someone could put them up on the Internet without her or your knowledge! It’s better to steer clear of the potential mess that naked pictures can make entirely.

When To Ask

If you and your girlfriend are over the age of eighteen and have been intimate together for quite some time or are even possibly living together, she may be comfortable enough to provide you with a naked picture of yourself for your viewing pleasure. If this is the case, suggest a sexy photo shoot with your partner. Try clothes on at first and see what happens. Don’t push your girlfriend into doing anything she’s uncomfortable with, no matter how silly you may think it is that she doesn’t want to take a picture of herself nude. If she’s uncomfortable with it, drop it.

Q&A: Magic Eight Ball – Will I Have A Girlfriend In College?

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 14:00:05 +0000

Going off to college is a huge step. You’re worried about lots of things, like your classes, your grades and definitely your dating life! College is a great place to meet people, make new friends and build solid relationships. Will you have a girlfriend or boyfriend in college? Here’s how to find out!

Question: My question is plain and simple so hopefully you will answer. I haven’t had a girlfriend in 8 months. I am currently in high school going off to college. Is there potential I will have a girlfriend in college?

–YouTube Viewer

It Depends On You!

No Magic 8 Ball can truly tell you whether you’ll have a girlfriend in college or not. If you want to have a girlfriend when you go off to college, it’s up to you to make it happen! If you’re hanging out alone in your dorm room playing video games when you’re not in class, you’re not going to meet people. There are thousands of great people at every college or university, and most of them are from out of town and have left their friends and families at home. They’re looking to meet people and develop friendships and relationships too! It’s up to you to put yourself out there so people can meet you and get to know you.

How To Meet Girls In College

When you’re not studying, make an effort to go to some of the on campus activities. Most colleges and universities offer a variety of activities such as volleyball, fooseball tournaments, pool and more. These activites are a great way to meet new people! Pick up the campus newsletter to find out when things are happening and get your studying done so you can plan to go to the activities. Colleges also post things on billboards around campus, so take a few minutes while you’re waiting for the shuttle to check out the flyers. You can also hang out at an on campus coffee shop, study hall or even the student union. Keep an open mind and a friendly, positive attitude and don’t be afraid to approach someone to say hello! If someone approaches you, be warm and receptive rather than shy. Going to college and being around so many new faces is scary but it can also be fun!

Don’t Get Discouraged

Even if you don’t meet someone right away, don’t stress out. If you continue to put yourself out there, you’ll eventually meet someone that wants to date you and vice versa. Start by making friendships and spending time with new friends. Meet them to eat at the dining hall or meet for a study group on the weekend. Friendships open doors to meeting new people as well, because you’ll get to know the friends of friends and so on. Eventually you’ll hit it off with a girl and start a fun, exciting new relationship that might turn into something that lasts! Remember that dating in college is all about having fun and learning new things. If it doesn’t work out with one girl, it doesn’t mean you’ll never find anyone. This is the time to pick yourself back up and get back in the game! When you present your best self, people will want to get to know you.

Q&A: Can A Relationship That Starts As An Affair Really Last?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 14:00:43 +0000

People start relationships in a variety of different ways. You might meet someone at a coffee shop, a bowling alley, a bar or through a friend. Or you may have had an affair with them while you were in another relationship. Can a relationship that was once an affair really succeed or is this relationship doomed to end?

Question: What’s the chances a relationship can work when both sides lied and had affairs on their spouses? Do they normally last?

–YouTube Viewer

Statistically Speaking

Statistically, a relationship that starts out as an affair generally won’t work out. In fact, second marriages statistically have a higher failure rate than first marriages, and third marriages and so on have an even higher failure rate than that. But these are just statistics. It doesn’t mean that your particular relationship won’t work out or is doomed to fail. A relationship is made up of many, many more things than how you met. Many relationships have difficult beginnings that both partners are able to move past to create a healthy, happy relationship.

That said, two people must truly trust each other and be honest with each other if their relationship is going to last. Typically these are issues that people have with each other when the relationship starts out as an affair. You and your partner may both feel that the other is going to cheat again, since they cheated on their previous partners. While this doesn’t mean it will happen, you and your partner need to sit down and talk with each other and make a committment to be completely honest with each other and trust each other.

Repeating The Same Patterns

The biggest reason that relationships don’t work out is not because of how you met or even what went on at the beginning of the relationship. Many people carry with them the same habits and issues that made their previous relationships fail. Instead of solving the deeper issues that are at the core of the relationship problems, they assume that it is their partner’s fault and move on to find someone else without those “faults.” In reality, they are simply taking the same problems with them into a new relationship. They will repeat the same patterns over and over until they truly realize what is at the heart of the matter.

Resolve Your Own Inner Issues

For any relationship to succeed, whether it started out as an affair or not, you must solve your own inner issues before you are able to fully commit to a happy, healthy and trusting relationship. Take some time to think about what might have caused your earlier relationships to go awry, and think about how you might have contributed to those issues. Think about what your previous partners have said about you, and if there is a trend there. Are they all saying the same thing? Could there possibly be some truth to the matter? It’s not easy taking such a deep look within yourself at all your flaws and failures, but for any relationship to succeed, you need to resolve your own inner issues. Work towards bettering yourself and bettering your relationship by eliminating your contributions to problems in this relationship and past relationships.

Staying Single vs. Starting A Family: Which Is Better?

Andrew Wang — Sat, 03 Jul 2010 23:00:19 +0000

Get a job, get married, have a kid. That’s the natural progression of life…or is it? Many don’t see it that way. The best outcome of the feminist movement was that it empowered women to stay single or have a family as they saw fit. Yet even today, women are pressured to fit into the typical mold of becoming a wife and mother. While that may be the path for some women, to others, children are a threat to their desired lifestyle. So what is the better choice for you?

Staying Single

You enjoy your freedom to take a spontaneous road trip, to stay out late drinking with your friends, to move as you please, to advance your career, and most importantly, to not have to take care of anyone besides yourself. Those are all very legitimate reasons to stay kid-less and carefree. Even if you find the right person to spend your life with, you do not have to settle down and have kids. It is possible to have a fulfilling, loving relationship without ever worrying about convertible cribs and college funds.

The beauty about waiting to have kids is that you can always change your mind (because you can’t un-birth a child, if afterward you decide you aren’t ready for the responsibility). Enjoy the ability to take your time on making big decisions. Yet if you never decide to have a child, you are no worse for the wear.

Starting a Family

There are as many misconceptions about having kids as there are about not having kids. It is true that it becomes harder to travel once you have children. However, it is possible. Just like it is possible to maintain your maintain your personality and hobbies and dreams. Upon giving birth, you do not automatically become a militant mommy: the kind of mother who gives up everything that made her who she was in the pre-baby years, who becomes obsessed with preschools and pull-ups.

Because more and more people are waiting until their mid- to late-30′s to start a family, they are able to establish their careers and get some of their wilder urges out of the way long before the stroller-days arrive. Yet, even then, parents may find themselves limited by what they are able to do. The cancellation of a babysitter can throw your plans for a loop, regardless of its importance. Also, while many employers try to be family-friendly, having to take time off for doctor’s appointments and classroom parties (not to mention, limited time to travel for work) can inhibit your climb up the corporate ladder.

However, having children can be very fulfilling and rewarding. Many parents don’t have regrets at all about having children, and the joys that come with parenting can outweigh giving up being single for the forseeable future.

In conclusion, you may be thinking, this wasn’t helpful at all. You didn’t say which is the best option for me. Well, of course I didn’t. Choosing whether or not to have children is not something the Internet can help you with, silly. Rather, the purpose of this article is to show you that there are benefits and drawbacks to either lifestyle. In the end, all that matters is how you feel about your life, what you want to accomplish, and what your vision for the future looks like.

Q&A: How To Ask A Good Friend To Go On A Date

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 29 Jun 2010 14:00:50 +0000

Often, friends end up falling for other friends and want to move from a friendship to a romantic relationship. If you want ask out one of your good friends but don’t want to end up ruining the friendship, you’re not alone. Here’s how to tell if she likes you too and what you can do to get out of the friend zone.

Question: How do you know if a girl likes you and if she does, how can you ask her out? I have a very close friend I would like to date, but I do not want to lose her as a friend. The reasons why I think she likes me is because she has told me how ugly she thinks she is and how she will never find love. We are very close and I do not want to lose her as friend. Please help!

–YouTube Viewer

Let Her Know How You Feel

Honesty is the best way to go on this one. Pretending that you don’t like her as more than a friend or saying that you just want to stay friends because you think that’s what she wants or you’re afraid of ruining the friendship isn’t going to do either of you any good at all. Tell your friend how you feel about her and be completely honest. Let her know why you like her and why you want to be more than friends. Don’t ask for a response right away, because putting her on the spot to accept your romantic invitation may lead to a “no” because she just needs time to absorb the information. Just let her know that you’re telling her how you feel and you simply wanted her to be aware of it. Let her take it from there if she wants to. If she doesn’t make a move, you can continue being friends.

How To Interpret Her Body Language

You may be wondering if your friend has been showing you romantic affection for awhile and you haven’t been picking it up. If a girl likes you, she’s going to give you a lot of body language that shows that she’s sweet on you. She may touch you often, face you when you speak or constantly laugh at your jokes. She may want to be close to you all the time or may want to hang out all the time. Pay close attention to your friend’s body language, because often you will be able to tell if a girl likes you simply because of the way she acts towards you.

Show Her Affection

If you like your friend romantically, it’s important that you show her affection as well as telling her the truth about how you feel. Show her with your body language that you like her. Hug her, be close to her and compliment her. Compliments always go a long way for a woman! Laugh at her jokes and be there for her. If you’re good to her, sooner or later she will see that you’re a great choice for her. But she’ll never choose you if she doesn’t know how you feel about her!

How To Tell Her You Love Her – 5 Romantic Ideas

Lee Jenkins — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 23:00:15 +0000

Getting the attention of a beautiful girl is easy, but maintaining that level of attention is difficult. If you think you’ve “got her” when she agrees to date you, think again. A woman’s mind can change rather quickly if the man she’s with is not emotionally available. If you want to enjoy a lasting relationship with a woman, you need to get her to think of you in a more romantic way.

Whatever you do, you shouldn’t be complacent when it comes to dating. Most men realize this and they do what they can to be more romantic, but unfortunately, the women won’t recognize their efforts. It’s not always because the men are doing it wrong. It may be because the woman expects something more.

Your mission is to make her think of you as the most romantic guy ever, and here are 5 ways to do that.

Do Her Chores

Making life easy for your girl is one sign that you love her, and she will feel this too. Once a week, make it a point to give your girl a day off by taking charge of chores while she does her nails or while she visits a salon for a makeover.

Flowers

You often hear that girls think it’s sweet when men give them flowers for birthdays and valentines, right? You know what’s sweeter? It’s giving flowers when there’s no special occasion to celebrate. On any ordinary day, give her a few stalks of her favorite flowers. Women are conditioned to like this gesture from their childhood, so you can’t go wrong with this one.

Dinner

Even the modern woman feels all warm and fuzzy when a man pays for her meal. It’s just an instinct that all women share. Take your girl out, go to her favorite restaurant and snack together on her favorite dishes whenever you can.

Travel Together

Whether it’s just the next state or a neighboring country, make sure you spend some time with your girl travelling to another place for a change of scene. Being stuck in one place can be uncomfortable, not to mention boring. Make sure you ask your girl where she wants to go, and which activities she wants to try in another place before making your plans.

Sex

Love making is the ultimate way to express your feelings to her. Set it up nicely with a good bubble bath, scented candles and aromatic oils. When she’s relaxed, you can proceed with erotic massage. Be patient and make her feel that it’s her night and you’re her sex slave for the night.

Go for kinky sex! If your girl is usually submissive during sex, turn the tables on her and let her dominate you for one night. However, be sure to give her guidance and instructions (like what the leather whip is for), or offer suggestions on how to role play as a dominatrix.

Q&A: Help! I Keep Getting Stuck In The Friend Zone

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 26 Jun 2010 14:00:07 +0000

Getting stuck in the friend zone is no fun, especially if you really want more than just a friendship with someone. But are you really looking for a serious relationship, or is it a case of like attracting like? Here’s how to find out if you’re ready for a relationship or you really are getting stuck in the friend zone!

Question: This is my first question to you guys, and i just got wind saying that you guys know your stuff when it comes to relationships. I got out of a 5 year relationship with my fiance, and its been 3 months. I’m talking to women, and it seems like all women want now is casual sex, no commitment. I feel like I keep getting stuck in the “friend zone” and that’s all women look at me as. Any advice?

–YouTube Viewer

Are You Really Ready For Committment?

It’s a common belief that “like attracts like” and those looking for serious relationships will actually be attracted to each other. If you’ve just gotten out of a long, committed relationship, you may subconciously just be looking for friendships right now and not know it. If you’re only attracting women who simply want to be friends and have casual sex with no strings attached, take a moment to think about if that’s really what you want too. It’s okay if you’re not ready for a serious relationship and having fun with friends is a great way to get yourself back in the dating game. Sit down and really consider what you want at this time. Are you really looking for another committed relationship or are you attracting the kind of people you subconciously want to date right now?

Don’t Rush It

There’s no rush when it comes to dating after ending a serious relationship with someone. Even if you were the one who ended the relationship, the body, mind and soul still needs to grieve for the loss and take time to adjust to a new lifestyle. Things are very different for you now, and it’s important to give yourself time to absorb it. That doesn’t mean isolate yourself, but you may want to be careful about jumping right into another committed relationship. Give yourself time to think about the relationship, but also allow yourself to think about what you want now before you take the next step.

Attracting The Kind Of Partner You Want

When you’re really ready for a committed relationship, trust that you’ll start attracting people who feel the same way you do and are also looking for a committed relationship. Focus more on having fun now, and let whatever happens happen. Time has a funny way of healing old wounds and paving the way for new and better things in your life if you let it. Constantly trying to attract a partner who wants a serious relationship when you don’t – even subconciously – will only put more stress on you and make you feel like you’re not “dateable” material. Don’t worry about it! Just have fun and build new friendships and nurture old ones. Take this opportunity to make your life what you want it to be right now and in time, the right person will come.

Start Dating Your Way Into A Great Relationship

Maryanne Comaroto — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 23:00:12 +0000

Because of who I am, people ask me for dating advice frequently. I certainly have some favorite tips I like to hand out to those in need. So whether you’ve come back to the dating world after a breakup or divorce, or just after an extended break from romance, try these tips to get you on the right path to finding and maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Declutter Yourself

To learn what you DO want, define what you DON’T want. Everyone has some things that are non-negotiable – some people won’t tolerate smoking, others won’t tolerate gambling, and so forth. To learn how to make an effective list of deal-breakers, get a copy of Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers.
Prepare yourself for your new relationship everyday by doing little things to de-clutter your soul. It’s time to start letting go of all those old love letters and photos that only remind you of heartbreak. Start looking toward your future and be ready for love!
Desperation doesn’t look good on anyone. No matter how desperate you may feel inside, rushing into things at the first sign of chemistry is not likely to end well. Remember the last time you were head-over-heels about someone and did a bunch of stupid things you now wish you hadn’t? This time around you have an opportunity to do things differently: think it through. Something SEEMING perfect is a lot different from it actually BEING perfect.

Attract The Right Kind Of People

Starting off with “sexy” may seem like a smart move, but is that really how you want people to value you?
You are a human being, not a product in a display window. Don’t go out there trying to sell who you are.
Relax and know that there is enough love out there for all of us, plenty to go around and around. So smile! You don’t have to compete with anyone to come out a winner in this game. There’s plenty of love out there that everyone can win.
Put off that urge to merge until you’ve found out some vital things – what are this person’s relationship goals? Where do they see you fitting into that framework? Jumping into bed is not going to create a foundation if one wasn’t there to begin with.
You want to aim for a balance in the flow between give and take. You bring certain things to the party to offer; what does the other person bring? Knowing this right from the beginning can help you avoid a situation where you’re doing all the giving all the time, and they’re doing all the taking.
Aim to be with someone who likes the kind of person you really are. I used to think I would attract a greater number of people by trying to be what I thought people wanted, but the key to finding someone who fit me well was to embrace my true self, and let that shine through to attract the right person!

Be Your Best Self

Notice how you act and how you feel when you’re around the person you like. Do they bring out your best qualities, or do they bring out some strange things you don’t even recognize as being you? There are some subtle differences between excitement and fear. There’s a difference between feeling energized, invigorated and refreshed, as opposed to anxious, unsure, and insecure.
Safety and integrity are important – don’t compromise on your core values! Use your common sense and take care.

But the best thing I could ever say to you, the advice that will see you through every trial and tribulation, is the one you can start putting into practice today: Great relationships begin within!

All Friends With No Benefits

Maryanne Comaroto — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 23:00:41 +0000

Spring has come around yet again, and you know what that means – less clothing, more flirting, and more fun!

Here are some tips to keep your fun from turning into disaster: First, remember to pay attention now or pay later. Keep your wits about you. Second, be honest with yourself whether the fun you’re having is worth the consequences, whatever they might be. Third, remember to use a condom! In the meantime, here are the answers to a couple of your questions.

I met this girl at school and ended up falling for her. However, at the time she had a boyfriend who was moving to France. I saw her a couple of times before they officially broke up and then asked her out on a date. She said yes, then flaked on me twice (both times legitimate-ish reasons such as her grandparents’ anniversary do and something else).

We eventually went out a couple of times and texted each other a bit, then suddenly after our second date when I kissed her goodnight on the cheek she didn’t text me for over a week and just ignored my email (I tried to contact her three times). Then she started to talk again and we have seen each other about every two weeks since. I have kissed her on the cheek a couple of times and once on the lips, but that’s it.

When we are out we have such a good time and get along great, and although there is not much physical contact she flirts back. She has since then invited me to go on holiday with her and her family. I’m just not sure where I stand. Are we going out? Her old bf is in a relationship but she isn’t going out with anyone else and never talks about other guys with me. On Valentine’s Day I gave her a card and chocolates, and she gave me the same. She lets me pay for coffees and other things like that. But my question is: Who am I to her, a friend or a boyfriend?

—James, UK

Ah, James, it’s so cute to hear about people giving each other cards and chocolates on Valentine’s day… if those people are kids! You’re an adult now, so it’s time to start using your words to say what you mean, and to find out where you stand. All you have to do is ask her what she wants, and be straightforward about what you want. She’ll appreciate you not playing games, and in the process you’ll learn whether there’s any mileage in pursuing her or not. But here’s a tip: if you’re not getting any clear signs from her, chances are it’s because she’s not that into you, so prepare yourself.

Every time I meet someone and we wind up liking each other, it always turns out she just wants me as a friend. Even though they all tell me they would date me. Is there any way I can stop winding up the “best friend?”

—Nick, US

There are so many benefits to having a girlfriend, including all the public displays of affection, hugging, kissing, and the wonderful feeling of having someone you’re exclusive with. To get that, you need to look at what you’ve done so far, and compare it to what you should be doing if you want to get that extra step further. Knowing what to do differently can be tricky with women, mostly because our concern for our own safety over the past two millennia has prevented us from having the liberty to come out and say exactly what we want.

Ensuring success in dating is not that different from ensuring success in any other area. You have to define what you want, make a clear plan for getting it, and execute your plan. Remember that what you want is a dating relationship with one girl who meets your criteria – not friendships with a lot of different girls. So find a girl that you’re interested in dating, and ask her on an actual DATE. Girls are keenly aware of the the difference between a date and just hanging out, so if you use that specific word, she won’t be in any doubt as to your intentions. After a few dates, she should have given you a real kiss, or at the very least some very clear signs as to whether or not she’s into being more than friends. 

Unique Date Ideas

Andrew Wang — Wed, 16 Jun 2010 23:00:18 +0000

Going out on dates with your partner is important to keeping your relationship interesting and fresh. However, you can only do dinner and a movie—or watching television at home—so many times before you start asking yourself if there’s something (or someone!) better out there for you. Nevertheless, with an open mind and a little advance planning, there are plenty of unique ways to spend quality-time with your significant other.

Go People-Watching

Grab a mug of coffee or a bag of trail-mix and head to a busy public place, like a park or sidewalk bench. Set up somewhere comfortable and just watch passersby for a while. You’ll get a chance to notice things about the world around you which often go unnoticed. Plus, you will have your partner there to talk about the situations you observe or people who catch your eye. You can dream aloud about how you want to be like the old couple, still holding hands after being married for fifty years. You can exchange knowing glances about the downright absurd fashion statements the teenagers are sporting. You can even share a comfortable silence together.

Take A Class Together

Whether it’s painting pottery, learning a new language, or gun-range shooting, find something that you both want to learn more about and sign up. Having someone with you while you learn new things can make the situation less intimidating and sometimes even more fun. A date idea, such as taking a class together, gives you a look into how your partner’s wheels turn when they’re faced with a challenge. Also, you can learn a lot about a person when he or she is out of their comfort zone.

Spend The Night At Home

Spend the night at home, or a night in a hotel if that’s more up your alley. Turn off the phone, the television, the computers…and climb into bed. Arm yourself with a sexy nightie, toys, videos, plenty of water, and some snacks to feed to one another. Take turns giving and receiving massages, have a tickle fight, act out a scene from one of your videos, or tell naughty bedtime stories. Sex is the best part of a date anyway! Why not cut out the middlemen otherwise known as Chili’s and the latest “rom-com”?

Go Old-School

Head to a rink and pull on some roller-skates. Find a diner and split a chocolate shake. Drive up to “the Point,” the beach—wherever the local make-out spot is—and make out. (Leave your clothes on, though. An indecent exposure ticket kind of kills the mood.)

Take A Drive Or Bus Ride

No destination, no expectations. Set out in one direction and see where you end up. You can play slug-bug, try to spot out-of-state license plates, or find a new restaurant. When you start an adventure without knowing how it will end, you never know what you’ll discover.

It could be anything, really. Look at the date as time to have fun and get to know your partner, even if you think you know them well enough already. Some of the greatest memories in a couple’s shared life are made at the most unexpected times.

Phone Sex – Tips For Talking Dirty

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 14:00:57 +0000

Talking dirty is an art form, one that can seem quite intimidating to master. Contrary to popular belief though, learning to talk dirty isn’t at all difficult. You just have to learn to let yourself go! Here are some excellent tips on how to talk dirty with your partner whether you’re having phone sex or whether you’re in the bedroom!

Set The Right Environment

Getting comfortable and setting the right environment will help you feel sexy and relaxed, therefore you’re going to sound sexy on the phone. Find a spot in your home that is quiet and where you won’t be disturbed, such as your bedroom or a guest room or sitting room. Wait until the kids go to bed, or you’re done watching your favorite television show so you can be totally present in the conversation. Don’t try to have phone sex in the kitchen, the garage or the bathroom (of course, unless you’re taking a hot, steamy bath) because when your partner asks you where you are or what you’re doing, saying, “in the kitchen” is definitely not a turn on. Wear some comfortable clothes, or try wearing some sexy clothes and describing to him what you’re wearing. Light some candles or burn incense, and make sure the television is turned off. You want to be relaxed and able to focus on what you’re saying.

Don’t Be Afraid To Take The Lead

Men love it when women take the lead in sex, and phone sex and talking dirty is no different. While some men do enjoy hearing themselves talk dirty, he’s going to like it even more when you’re the one doing it too. He wants to hear what you like, what you fantasize about and what turns you on – in intimate detail. He will like talking about what turns him on too, but he’ll get bored quickly if he’s the only one doing the talking. Take turns describing what you’re wearing to each other and what you’d like to be doing to each other if you were together. Don’t be afraid to get totally absorbed in the conversation and let your true sexy self come out.

If You’re Feeling Shy

Many people, both men and women, are very shy when it comes to talking dirty, whether it’s on the phone or in person. If you’re feeling nervous about it, there are many ways you can try to overcome your shyness. First of all, make sure you’re using grown up words. You may not want to use some of the “hardcore” words that many people associate with talking dirty, but using anatomically correct words such as “penis” is much better than using other words such as “wee wee” or other pet names. If you find that you can’t come up with anything on your own, ask him to describe what he wants you to do to him. Take notes if you need to, and then simply repeat back to him what he said in first person. If your partner is the one that is shy, let him hear what you’d like to do and have him repeat it back to you! This is a super easy and fun way to break the ice and start talking dirty!

Phone Flirting Tips

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 14:00:16 +0000

Whether you’re in a long distance relationship or dating on the phone, you’re going to find yourself having a conversation with your partner on the phone at one point or another. While “phone dates” may not seem as important as face to face dates, how you carry on the conversation with your partner makes an impact. Here are some tips on how to get it right and make a great impression.

Tone Of Voice

Your tone of voice and how you speak makes an impact on the overall conversation, in addition to what you say. Don’t use the same tone of voice you would use if you were on the phone with your mother, your kids or even your boss. Use a completely different tone of voice, similar to what you would use if you were on an actual face to face date with this person. Lower your voice and speak softer and more slowly. Remember, even though you are on the phone, it is a date! Relax, picture your partner in your head and let your tone of voice become what it would be if you were talking to them in person.

Body Language

Believe it or not, your body language will make a huge difference in how you sound on the phone to your partner. You may be trying to sound sexy and sultry, but if you’re busy doing the dishes, doing the laundry or even occupied with the computer or television, it’s going to come through in your voice. When flirting on the phone, you don’t want to sound busy, stressed, tired or preoccupied. Stop what you’re doing and sit back and relax. Lie on the bed or the couch and let your body language mimic the tone of voice that you’re using. If it helps, put on some comfortable or even sexy clothing and light some candles to help set the mood and get you in the right frame of mind.

Be Present In The Conversation

One of the worst things you can do on a phone date is to be listening to someone and start checking off your to do list in your head, or allowing your mind to wander in other ways. Your partner deserves better than accurately timed “uh-huh’s” and “yeahs.” Be present in the conversation. Shut off the television, go to a quiet place and focus yourself on the conversation at hand. Listen to them, ask intelligent questions and provide intelligent answers to the questions they ask you. You can even take notes at this point if you want. For example, if your partner mentions something they like or don’t like, make a note of it so you can remember later.

Let The Real You Shine Through

Don’t try to be fake when flirting with your partner, because sooner or later you’re going to get busted and they’re going to see right through it. Part of the beauty of flirting on the phone is that you can let the real you shine through. Don’t try to pretend to be someone you’re not because you think they’ll like you better that way. Just be yourself! Be honest and kind, and stay true to who you really are. Your partner will appreciate that they are getting to know the real you instead of the person you’re trying to be.

Rich Man, Poor Woman: Dating Outside Of Your Economic Class

Andrew Wang — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 23:00:17 +0000

Money isn’t everything. Money is no object. Money is the root of all evils. Money can’t buy you happiness. There sure are a lot of idioms and quotes about the worthlessness or evils of money. While it has an extremely important function in our society, it’s widely accepted that it has no place in a relationship. Yet it can have a way of sneaking up in a relationship and forcing its presence to be known anyways. The most common way it does this is by forcing the couple to acknowledge their differences where finances are concerned.

Will Financial Differences Tear You Apart?

A difference in economic class has a way of putting strife into an otherwise happy relationship, of even possibly splitting people apart. Simple situations like treating your partner to a fancy dinner (or worse, expecting when the check comes that they will pay half of a dinner they cannot afford) can make that person feel insecure. Maybe it’s your anniversary and your partner lavishes you with jewelry, while all you could afford for him was a card and a tie. Maybe you are planning a wedding or a vacation. You, with your enviable savings account, want a lavish wedding or two-week-long luxury cruise, while he, with only pocket lint in his account, simply cannot afford it.

These situations can inadvertently give you the upper hand in the relationship if you are the wealthier, or make you feel insignificant and unworthy if you are the poorer. It can add tension and resentment to even the most loving of pairs. One source of tension can come from you feeling like a gold-digger (someone who is with a man or woman just for the money), if your partner is always doting on you. If you are the richer of the two, you may subconsciously wonder if he or she isn’t with you simply because of your wealth.

How To Prevent Money From Destroying Your Relationship

Nevertheless, it depends on the personality of the people involved and of how they handle this situation. Maybe they have reached an understanding, in which one person doesn’t mind being doted upon. In that case, these extravagances can seem surreal and exciting, an experience he or she might not have otherwise had if not for the partner.

One unexpected benefit might be the differing viewpoints each person can provide to the other, having been raised in or living in vastly different social scenes. Maybe the more financially secure partner has insight into taxes, IRAs, or investment skills, which could be helpful to the other. Or maybe the partner who grew up poor can provide a dose of humility if the other starts throwing around their money a little too casually.

The best way to keep money from ruining your relationship is to always communicate, no matter how uncomfortable the conversation may be. Discuss each of your ideas for gift-giving, for paying bills, for treating one another to dinner. With time and understanding, you may find a middle class, I mean, middle ground is possible.

How to Chat Safely Both Online And Off

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 14:00:12 +0000

Protecting your identity may seem like common sense, but when we start flirting, chatting, and enjoying ourselves a little too much, we can sometimes forget that there are predators (sexual, identity theft, etc) both online and off. Here are some key things to remember next time you start feeling a little too comfy with the person on the other end of the line – whom you’ve never actually met.

Trust Your Instincts

Your instincts are one of the best ways to tell if someone is for real or not. Your body has ways of letting you know that something isn’t right, and if you start getting that feeling, it’s best to trust your gut. You may know exactly why you’re not feeling comfortable with someone when dating online, but then again, you may not. Someone may seem on the level at first and even second glance, and everything might seem to check out. Logically, there might not be any reason for you to be suspicious. You may only have a “feeling” that something isn’t quite right, but just because you don’t know “for sure” doesn’t mean you need to ignore it. If you feel like something is up, it likely is. Trust yourself. Don’t allow yourself to be uncomfortable with someone simply because you aren’t sure why. In many instances, it’s better to follow your gut.

Guard Your Privacy

It never hurts to be extra cautious and extra safe. Until you really, really get to know this person both online and off, it’s important that you guard all aspects of your privacy. Do any and all talking through a safe source, such as an anonymous phone chatline or an anonymous online dating website. Never give out your email address, your real name, your telephone number, your address or where you work. Instead of worrying about what is safe to share and what isn’t, keep it simple and don’t share anything until you’ve really gotten to know someone and are able to trust them.

Know When To Get Out Of A Freaky Situation

If you suspect you might be talking to someone who isn’t on the level, or have even met them in person, don’t be afraid to get yourself out of a bad situation A.S.A.P. You don’t owe anyone anything and your safety and well being is your top priority when dating and chatting online and over the phone. While there are some very good liars out there, many of them will give you several clues that will let you know that something just isn’t right. For example, be on the watch for angry outbursts and manipulative language or behavior. Do not tolerate disrespectful comments or any type of derogatory behavior towards you. Watch out for inconsistent information such as birthdays, horoscope signs, age, hobbies, likes and dislikes, etc. Many people who lie will tell you one thing at one time and something completely different another time because they’ve completely forgotten what they’ve lied about in the first place. Also, another telltale sign that something is amiss is evasiveness. Someone who is honest and straightforward won’t have any problems answering reasonable questions, but someone who has something to hide will often skirt the questions or provide evasive, vague answers. If you feel that you’re in a situation that is not 100% honest, it’s time to cut all ties and move on.

May-To-December Romances: Can They Last Over Time?

Andrew Wang — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 23:40:56 +0000

Lolita. Harold and Maude. American Pie. Marked age differences in a romance are nothing new to the world of literature and film. However, are they really conducive to modern-day relationships? Can two people of differing generations find a connection that transcends the decades?

Younger Man + Older Woman Or Older Man + Younger Woman?

The first aspect to consider is the genders as they relate to the ages. Would an older man/younger woman combination be more likely to succeed than an older woman/younger man relationship? Not necessarily, but it is more acceptable by society’s standards. Nowadays, a young woman on the arm of her older partner would not cause one to even bat an eyelash. The stigma of an older woman courting a young man is slowly dissipating, but the situation is still likely to draw jokes about her being a “cougar.” Because of that stigma, it is often harder to be taken seriously as a legitimate couple.

Spring-Time Perks

One of the best ways to succeed in a May-to-December romance is to find a way of bridging the gap. For instance, if you are a young woman (or man) with no interest in the wild dating scene, you may be looking for someone to settle down with right away. Meanwhile, an older man (or woman) has focused on his/her career for most of their adult life, and now they are ready to start a family. These people are able to meet halfway to fulfill their common goals or desires.

Cold Weather Drawbacks

The relationships that seem doomed to fail are the ones in which the couple does not have a connection deeper than appearances, money, or other superficial perks. For example, an older man may proudly find himself the target of his friends’ jealousy when he starts dating a hot 18-year-old. However, the disappointments quickly pile up when he realizes what may accompany this particular age: no previous adult relationships, insecurity, partying lifestyle, and little “real world” experience. Also, you may enjoy the vigor of your younger lover. Yet, what happens if you are ready to have a baby or to move to the countryside, but your energetic partner isn’t ready to settle down?

And Over Time?

Moreover, generations have widely varying ideals, values, and goals from the next. One woman, whose parents are 20 years apart in age, shared her experiences. While the age difference didn’t matter when they were in their 30s and 50s, respectively, it certainly made an impact when they hit their 60s and 80s. When she was younger, the mother hadn’t minded her husband’s old-fashioned views about “a woman’s duties,” such as rearing the kids, cooking, and cleaning. Yet as an aging woman, she no longer had the energy to do all the housework. Also, as he grew older, he became less interested in such activities as traveling—even though she was still into traveling the world.

“While a big age difference is irrelevant for a time,” she concluded, “it’s almost guaranteed to cause problems if you’re still together when the older person is actually old. They have a good relationship despite their differences, though. They knew what they were getting into and decided they loved each other enough that they’d deal with it.”

Dating In The Bread-Line: How To Deal With Your Partner Being Unemployed

Andrew Wang — Mon, 24 May 2010 23:55:07 +0000

Newsflash, everybody: we are living in a rough economic time. No, seriously, we are. Previously coveted gadgets are now considered frivolous. Businesses are dropping faster than the nation’s morale. Millions of Americans have been laid off at least once over the last few years. Because of this, the idea of your significant other suddenly being rendered unemployed and dating during a recession is not all that far-fetched. “Got it,” you think, “but how do I deal with it?”

Should You Fork Over The Dough For Your Date?

First, how long have you been together? If it hasn’t been very long at all, stepping up to support him or her could set a bad precedent for the future of this relationship. However, if you are already living together and have committed a major portion of your lives to each other, this should be a no-brainer. Try doing a few things to recession proof your relationship before the going gets too tough.

Second, how long will he or she be able to get by? Is there an emergency savings account that can be accessed? Do you have money you would be willing to loan? Did the employer give them a severance package? These situations may make the transition easier for the both of you. This is a time when couples must work together to find a solution.

If there is no backup plan, get one…fast. Now is not the not the time for your partner to host X-Box tournaments to all the unemployed people on the block. They should be sending out resumes left and right, stapling them to lampposts, if necessary (no, not really). You can help by writing up the resume if you are skilled with business writing. If you aren’t, offer to help by looking it over a couple times. Meanwhile, your partner should look into the possibility of getting a part-time job to sustain them until a full-time job comes along.

Supporting Your Partner During The Rough Patches

The best thing you can do for your partner is to be supportive and avoid financial infidelity. This is a very difficult time, one in which a person feels lowly and burdensome. Reassure them that they’ll find something. When they start to feel down on themselves, help with the online search or tweak their resume to fit each job. Having a support system will keep him or her motivated. Work with them on interview skills. Offer to introduce them to people in your network, people who could possibly help them secure a position. Try not to make money an issue or talk about money much if you can during this time. It’s stressful for all, but making them feel worse about it will not help matters.

Finally, while you love and adore this person, keep a wary eye open. Don’t let them fall into the habit of depending on you, of letting you do all the work. You don’t want to constantly hassle them about job-hunting or networking. However, if you never see them making progress toward finding a job and the high score in PacMan keeps growing with each passing day, they may be taking advantage of you and your good nature.

Q&A: Dating A Younger Man – Is It OK?

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 23 May 2010 18:31:21 +0000

A lot of peole have questions about age differences when dating. Is it ok to date a younger man or a younger woman? It depends. Sometimes age differences are a big deal and sometimes they’re not. Here’s how to know if the age difference between you and your beau is a big deal, and what you should do if it is.

Question: I’m 17 and have recently developed a crush on someone younger than me. He’s about 15. It sounds really bad when I think about it but he doesn’t look 14 or 15 at all. It’s not a serious crush but I like him enough to want to talk to him. He seems to act like he likes me, but I don’t really know if he does. Is it okay to date him even if he’s that young?

–YouTube Viewer

When Age Doesn’t Matter

When you and your partner are older, a large gap in age generally doesn’t matter. If you’re 65 and he’s 75, it’s not as big a deal than if you have a 10 year age gap with your partner when you’re younger. Smaller age gaps matter even less as you and your partner grow older. Age gaps when you are younger, however, matter a great deal not only because of legal issues but also because you and your partner are very different emotionally and mentally. Even a two year age difference in your teens can make a big difference in emotional maturity between you and your partner.

When Age Does Matter

Age differences matter a lot when you and your partner are young. For example, if your partner is 15 and you are 20 or even 25, age gaps are a big issue. Even small age gaps, such as your partner being 15 and you being 17 can be a problem. First, think about the legal issues that come up when you date a younger person, especially if you’re bordering on 17 or 18. The laws differ from state to state, but dating a younger person could get you slapped with a statutory rape charge even if you and your partner are only a year or two apart.

Dating Without Sex

If you really want to date someone younger than you, or if you’re the younger of the couple, you can still date – without sex. To avoid getting into trouble, simply focus on getting to know your partner. Go on group dates to the bowling alley or to the movies, or go out to dinner together. Talk about your favorite things, things that mean a lot to you and encourage your partner to do the same. Really get to know each other to find out if you really want to take this relationship to the next level when you and your partner are old enough to legally be intimate with each other. Remember that there are more ways to be close to someone than through sex. Hold hands, hug and cuddle with each other without having sex. Nowadays, even sexting and sending naked pictures of yourself to your partner’s phone can get you into trouble if your partner is under 18, so be extremely careful. Practice patience until legally, you’re both ready.

Q&A: How To Cope With A Long Distance Relationship

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 22 May 2010 18:19:43 +0000

Long distance relationships are on of the hardest things to handle when you find someone you’re really into. If they’re moving away or you are, or if they’re in the military, facing being away from your partner for an extended period of time is nerve wracking. How can you make the most of your long distance relationship?

Question: Dan and Jen, I really need your help! I’ve found the most amazing guy, and we are currently in a serious relationship. The problem is that he’s in the Navy, and will be shipped out in only a month and a half! He keeps assuring me that he’ll never let me go, but it frightens me we might ‘slip apart’. Do you know how I can cope with him leaving?

–YouTube Viewer

Stay In Contact Any Way You Can

In this day in age, it’s easier than ever to keep in contact with someone over long distances. Cell phones with text, picture and video capabilities will help you feel connected to your partner when you’re away from him physically. Send him a picture of you at the movies that says “wish you were here” or “thinking of you.” Videotape important moments and send them to him. You can also use video chat and instant messaging on your computer to have longer conversations that can even seem like you’re together in the same room. You can also use cell phones, text and video chat to keep each other as sexually satisfied as possible with racy emails or dirty sexts.

Communicate With Each Other

Being completely open and honest with each other at all times during the long distance relationship is absolutely essential to keeping the relationship stable. Often, keeping things from your partner or even telling little white lies can snowball and create a big rift between you and your partner. Tell your partner how you’re feeling and encourage him to do the same. Talk about how you’re going to handle it when the need for physical contact arises and you two aren’t together. Talk about how you can make the situation temporary and make plans in the long term to eventually be together in the same place.

See Him As Often As Possible

One of the biggest reasons that a long distance relationship don’t work out is that it can be difficult for one or both partners to make plans to see each other in person very often. Take some time to try to work out how often you and your partner can feasibly travel to see each other and try to make plans to do so as much as you can. Physical contact – with or without sex – is an important part of keeping the flame alive in your relationship. If you and your partner don’t make the effort to see each other over several months, it makes it easier for you and your partner to start drifting apart. With time, effort and honest communication, you and your partner can make the long distance relationship work until you can have a real relationship with each other.

How To Date A Single Parent

Andrew Wang — Tue, 11 May 2010 22:00:49 +0000

You are jogging in the park one sunny morning, when you find yourself keeping time with a beautiful woman. She smiles, you smile, and eventually, when you slow down, you ask her out on a date. “Sure,” she says, “but can I bring my kid along?” Eek! Don’t worry. This is not typical of single parents, although that seems to be a big fear in the minds of kid-less folks. Here’s what it’s like to really date a single parent.

Finding The Time

Regardless of whether or not you like kids, you may find yourself in a situation where you are drawn to single mom. Depending on your depth of emotion for this person, you may decide it is worth the extra time and effort. The first hurdle you’ll encounter is her abundant lack of time. As a single parent (presumably working), she is always on the go. Doing the job of two parents means doing double-duty. In order to go on dates, you need to be prepared to book pretty far in advance. Not only that, but dates may be cancelled at the last minute due to flaky babysitters or sick kids. You will have to be patient and understanding, two things that can be very hard to remember by the third rain check.

One of the most important things to remember in dating a single parent is to let them run the show where their child is concerned. Rushing them along before they’re ready for the next step will not make your relationship progress faster. It’ll make it die harder.

Getting Accustomed To The Child

The child presents a multitude of new issues in himself. For one thing, he may have lingering issues about his father (whether he’s absent or in the child’s life still) and who the heck is this new guy? Another situation is that the child can feel jealous of his mother’s attention (once completely wrapped around his finger) now being somewhat focused on a stranger. This all depends on the child’s personality. He may love or hate you, want to be around you all the time, or want his mother all to himself.

Many single parents are extremely protective and may choose to not introduce you to the child until you are both serious about this relationship. This will help you to determine if both of you are ready to take the next step.

Dating Another Single Parent

When you are a single father, dating another single parent can be great – or it can be the Apocolypse. When you think about how hard it is to date a woman when there is a child involved, think of how much harder it would be with two or more children involved. All of a sudden, he’s worried about her kids liking him while she’s worried about his children. To make it even more complicated, the kids may not like the other kids. It certainly adds a very complex level, yet if you can make it work, it can be turned into a unique, but loving family unit.

Q&A: Relationship Trouble – Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 11 May 2010 14:00:53 +0000

Relationship problems can come in a variety of forms, and they differ greatly from relationship to relationship. Some relationship troubles can be worked out, but other, more serious issues can pave the way to a breakup. How do you know if your relationship problems can be fixed or if you just need to walk away?

Question: Hi Dan and Jenn. I need help with my relationship. I have a big problem with my boyfriend. We’ve been together over a year now and the problem we have is getting worse. I’ve told him how I feel and how much what he does hurts me and makes me feel insignificant, and when he says he’ll stop it, he does it again and again. The three main problems are:
1. He doesn’t talk or text for long periods of time because he’s too busy playing computer games.
2. He regularly shouts over top of me or interrupts me when I’m speaking, whether it’s a serious situation or not. I can be crying my eyes out talking to him and he will still do it.
3. Finally, he sometimes shouts at me, and not just raising his voice, he really shouts loudly, my parents worry about it and ask if I’m okay, and it honestly does frighten me sometimes.

–YouTube Viewer

He Won’t Change

If you’ve talked to your partner about the behavior that bothers you, especially if you’ve mentioned it more than once and communicated to him clearly how you feel, and he refuses to change, it’s time to consider the fact that he probably won’t ever change. You can’t force someone to change their behavior, you can only talk to them about how it affects you and hope that they see how much better the relationship can be if they change their ways. If he won’t change, the only thing you can do is change yourself. You can change how you react to his behavior, but stop and think before you do. Do you want to be ignoring his behavior forever?

Respect Yourself

An abusive relationship isn’t always one where one partner physically hits another. A lot of abuse is verbal and emotional. If you stay in an abusive relationship – no matter what kind of abuse you’re living with – you’re doing yourself a disservice and disrespecting yourself. Many times, if your partner can’t or won’t change his ways, you’ve got to take a stand for yourself. If he won’t respect you, you have to respect you – or who will? Don’t rely on other people to treat you with respect. Treat yourself with respect and don’t stand for any kind of abuse, be it physical, sexual or verbal and emotional.

You Deserve A Happy Relationship

No matter what you think or what your partner may tell you, you absolutely deserve a relationship that makes you happy. If you aren’t happy with who you’re with now, it’s time to find someone you are happy with. Life is too short and your time is too precious to spend it being unhappy with someone who refuses to respect you and be respectful to you. While no man can “make” you happy, you don’t have to be miserable with someone who treats you poorly. If your current relationship isn’t giving you what you want, it’s time to walk away. Take some time and think about what you do want in a relationship and start looking for that.

Q&A: Online Dating – Can You Fall In Love Without Meeting?

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 09 May 2010 14:00:04 +0000

There are a lot of questions when it comes to online dating, but very few answers as online dating is still new, uncharted territory for many people. Can you fall in love online, or do you need to meet them first? How can you stay safe if you do end up meeting them in person? Here’s what you need to know about love and online dating.

Question: Hi Dan & Jenn, I have an online dating question. I signed up for a dating website last week and a man, two years older than me from California e-mailed me a day later. We’ve been e-mailing each other constantly and texting/talking ever since, and he’s just told me that he wishes to be with me until he grows old- he even mentioned flying me to California whenever I wish to visit. The problem is, is it possible for a man who’s never officially met me to develop such strong feelings for me so quickly? I’m honestly really baffled by this.

–YouTube Viewer

Possible But Not Probable

While theoretically it is possible to fall in love online without having met them first, but it’s definitely not probable. There are too many unknowns when it comes to a relationship with someone online to really say for sure if you love them or if they love you. You may really like them and even have strong feelings for them (or vice versa) but is it really love? If someone tells you they love you before you even meet them, take it with a grain of salt. Often, people are unable to accurately express strong feelings for someone and may just be using the word “love” because they don’t have any other way of explaining how they feel.

In Love With The Idea Of You

When using online dating sites, there are lots of things you and your partner don’t know about each other and it’s difficult to say you love someone without knowing these things. For example, your partner may know what your favorite color is and what you like to eat for dinner, but he doesn’t know how you smell or how your hand fits in his. He’s unaware of your mannerisms, how you move and how a hug or kiss from you feels. These are all essential components of a relationship that can’t be obtained over the Internet. Generally, when someone says they love you when they haven’t met you in person it means that they are in love with the “idea” of you. Their imagination has filled in all the blank spots, and naturally they are in love with that person. But that’s not the real you! The way you kiss or hold his hand may be completely different than the way he’s imagined it.

What To Do If You Do Meet

If you do decide to meet in person, it’s important to consider online dating safety first until you’ve met a few times and have gotten to know each other. Meet him in a public place during the day for a short amount of time. A half hour coffee is probably enough to get your feet wet and allow both of you to decide if you want to meet again. At first, pay your own way so you aren’t indebted to him in any way, and make sure a trusted friend knows where you are and when you plan to be back. Take it slow and get to know them before being alone with them.

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