Communicate With Your Partner

This may single-handedly be THE biggest reason for communication! We all know that men ejaculate when they experience an orgasm and if they experience an orgasm during fellatio, then it is likely that the ejaculate will end up in your mouth. Depending on your preferences, this may or may not be a turn on for you, you may be indifferent to it, or the very idea may repulse you and send you running for the porcelain throne.

Swallowing

The easiest way to dispose of semen during oral sex is to swallow it. But if the idea just doesn’t do anything for you (or if it makes your stomach turn) read on for some different ways to handle his semen – and still make it sexy.

Spitting In A Towel

So you’re okay with it in your mouth, but actually getting it down? Not happening. Keep a towel nearby and when he’s done, discreetly spit his semen in it. You can also keep a glass of water or another drink nearby to swish out your mouth. This also works well if he likes to kiss you afterwards but doesn’t like the taste of his own spunk.

Finish Him Off With A Handjob Instead

This technique may sound less passionate or devoting than swallowing your partner’s ejaculate, but it doesn’t have to be. Enthusiasm makes all the difference in the world and as long as you continue to let him know that you are enjoying his orgasm (even though his orgasm is being finished with a hand instead of a mouth) and he may very well be so wrapped up in the pleasure that he doesn’t notice the difference.

Sound making or some dirty talk is of utmost importance here! You don’t have to get loud or wild but making some noises lets him know that you are getting off on him getting off and that will definitely enhance his orgasm! Verbally telling him how much it turns you on to see him cum might be just what he needs to hear to get him to finish strong as you watch.

Bad First Experiences With Oral Sex

A large number of women have had “BAD” first experiences with the first blowjob they ever gave, because they were either young and didn’t know what to expect, or some guy decided to not tell them when they were going to orgasm and they found themselves unexpectedly with a surprise mouth full of semen and that unpleasant first experience left them unwilling to ever try again.

Again, this is why communication and assurance are key factors to getting over an objectionable first experience and not letting it keep you from a very special and wonderful experience with your trusted partner.

Let Him Go “In” You

Guess where “else” is outside of your mouth?” You guessed it! Your warm, wet and waiting vagina. You can give your man the most wonderful blowjob (up to the climactic eruption) and when he says “NOW,” quickly remove your mouth and stick his penis deep into you, while letting your vagina provide that last few pumps to finish him off and capture every drop of his semen.

In the end, it really doesn’t matter where the semen goes during oral sex as long as both partners communicate before the fellatio session and are in agreement and as long as both partners stick to that agreement!

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Don’t Be A Bore In Bed

Most men seem to think that there is a method to sex – it’s called the Foreplay-Penetration-Ejaculation (FPE) Sequence. There are two major things wrong with this misconception: 1) It’s boring, and 2) It’s all about your pleasure. I will elaborate by addressing the issues one at a time.

Why It’s Lame

The bore factor of FPE may be obvious to some, but let me explain further as to why. Let’s say you really like a certain kind of bratwurst, so you have two a day for dinner. After a while, it no longer becomes a special treat. It still tastes delicious, but it ceases to be interesting. You may end up losing your taste for it all together.

She will react the same way to boring sex. Maybe you go down on her every day, fulfilling the foreplay obligation of the FPE sequence. How long until you’re down there for hours, tongue exhausted, while she’s filing her nails? The best lover is the one who understands variety. I’m not talking about whips and chains and three-ways, just a willingness to vary the process from time to time.

Communication Is Key!

Couples are sometimes embarrassed to talk openly about sex and what happens in the bedroom, but for different reasons. Women are generally socialized to not criticize. Men will take suggestions as a blow to their egos. However, direction is not criticism. You are not a mind reader, nor should she expect you to be. Encourage open dialogue, even in the middle of the act. If she is telling you, “to the left, to the left,” this is not criticism of your technique; she’s just helping you figure out what feels good to her. Now onto the next problem.

It Shouldn’t Be All About YOU

I have some bad news. Your partner does not think that your penis is God’s gift to the world. She is not in bed with you so she can look at your penis, stroke your penis, or smother your penis with undying adoration. You’re the only one in the room who is that blatantly fond of your member. She is in bed with you because of you. She likes you enough to allow you to enter her body. Don’t give her a reason to reconsider.

How SHE Gets Pleasure

The semantics of FPE explains the issue. She neither penetrates you (unless you’re into that kind of thing) nor does she ejaculate (well, some women do). The part that is most pleasurable to her is relegated to the opening third of the act. There is no law that says sex has to happen in that exact sequence, nor is it necessary to see sex as merely penetration.

The act of being intimate is sex to her. Touching, kissing, sucking, and caressing are all part of it. Readjust your thinking for her sake, and don’t make your member the primary factor in the situation. Remember, there are two people in that bed, and only one penis.

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Is There Such A Thing As A Dry Orgasm?

It is commonly thought that men will ejaculate every time they have an orgasm, but scientific studies and reports from men across the globe have proven otherwise. It is possible for a man to have an orgasm apart from ejaculation – meaning, that although a man has experienced a climax, no fluid is expelled from the penis during the orgasm.

This is especially true if a man is able to have multiple orgasms. Since it takes about fifteen to twenty minutes for a man to produce more ejaculatory fluid, if he has another orgasm within this time frame, it will most likely be “dry” or without semen.

What Is Retrograde Ejaculation?

A “dry” orgasm can mean that a man simply has not produced ejaculate during that particular climax, but it can also mean that a man did produce ejaculatory fluid during the orgasm and that it just didn’t end up coming out of the penis.

So where did it go?

With retrograde ejaculation, the semen is expelled from the testicles, but does not travel through the urethra and out the penis. Instead, the fluid goes up and into the bladder. For men who experience this problem, it’s not always consistent, so it’s a little harder to figure out what exactly is going on. For example, a man who experiences multiple orgasms and has a “dry” orgasm, he probably isn’t experiencing retrograde ejaculation. It is possible for no ejaculatory fluid to be released at all during climax. However, a man that is simply having normal sex and sometimes ejaculates and sometimes doesn’t probably is.

A urinalysis test is needed to confirm the presence of semen inside the bladder to determine whether or not a man is experiencing actual retrograde ejaculation.

What Causes Retrograde Ejaculation?

A common cause of this condition is when teenagers – hoping not to make a mess and get caught masturbating – pinch the tip of the penis and close off the urethra during orgasm. Also, some types of medications can cause retrograde ejaculation, including anti-depressant and anti-psychotic medications. Health conditions can also cause this condition, and rarely, an obstruction in the ejaculatory duct can prevent ejaculatory fluid from being released.

Although it isn’t technically harmful to pinch the tip of the penis right before ejaculation to prevent semen from being expelled, it can be uncomfortable and you may end up having a much less satisfying orgasm than if you had simply let it go. If you’re worried about making a mess, masturbate in the shower (it goes right down the drain) or use toilet paper or facial tissue to catch your semen when you ejaculate.

Is Retrograde Ejaculation Harmful?

When a man experiences retrograde ejaculation, it’s not going to harm his body at all. There is no damage done to the ejaculatory duct, the penis, the testicles or the bladder when this occurs. It’s not a dangerous condition to have, however, that doesn’t mean that men shouldn’t be concerned about it:

• Many men who experience this condition report that orgasms are much less pleasurable when the semen is redirected to the bladder instead of being expelled from the penis. Sex is supposed to be pleasurable – and you want to make it as good as you can!
• Men with retrograde ejaculation may become infertile – but whether that’s due to the fact that the semen simply doesn’t come out (after all, the sperm have to come out of the penis and travel up the vagina to fertilize an egg) or that the process of redirection into the bladder makes a man infertile over time is unknown.

What Should You Do If You Have Dry Orgasms?

If you experience a dry orgasm outside of having multiple orgasms, whether it happens seldom or frequently, seek the advice of your doctor. If you’re not comfortable enough with your current doctor to talk about this, find a new one! Your doctor is best equipped to deal with this sort of condition, and he or she has the tests available at hand to confirm whether you’re really experiencing retrograde ejaculation or not.

Once you get a confirmation on whether you have the condition or not, you can begin talking to your doctor about real options that are available to you.

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Two Phases Of Orgasm Men Have That Women Don’t

A man has two additional phases to his orgasm that women do not: the Point of No Return (PNR) and the Refractory Period. The PNR, as you can guess, is when you have reached the point where you don’t even need to be touched in order to ejaculate.

Your body goes into the Refractory Period after you have climaxed, and you’re “coming down,” in a sense. You feel calm, warm, and tired. There will be absolutely no service in that area until your penis has had a rest. Let’s explore these phases more closely, and see how they make your sex different from hers.

The PNR is both a blessing and a curse. It happens when the semen has entered the shaft, and there is no stopping the load from blowing. Your grandmother could walk into the room, and you’d still be able to cum. Women do not experience this. Her body will not continue to through the orgasm unless stimulated. The minute you stop touching her, she will stop cumming.

She could be in the middle of a body searing orgasm, and if you pull away, that will be the end of it. Some men think this is a cute way to tease their woman, but these men are total idiots. If she is screaming, “I’m cumming! I’m cumming!” then you had better continue to do exactly what you are doing until she’s done, or she just might not let you have a second chance.

Hers Are More Intense

She may not be able to get through a climax with no stimulation, but her orgasms tend to be quite a bit more intense than yours. Typically, you bust out that squishy “O” Face for about two seconds, and then it’s nap time. Her orgasms can last exponentially longer than that given the proper stimulation. You will hear her scream, see her body writhe, and she will be in a totally different world. Guess what, she can do it again.

She Can Go Again And Again

The best part about sex for a woman is she doesn’t have the Refractory Period. When she climaxes, her body doesn’t go into hibernation mode the way yours does. Therefore, if you quit on her after just one sweet burst, you’re not living up to your full potential as a lover.

Now don’t just get her off and then mindlessly keep rubbing the same spot hoping it’ll happen again. Pull back a bit. If you wait a minute, and then go back to touching her, she’ll cum again. Plus, each proceeding orgasm tends to build in intensity. If you get her to the point where she’s going, “Stop, I can’t cum anymore, it’s too intense, “ she may just fall in love with you.

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Give Your Immune System A Boost

Believe it or not, sex can actually improve the quality of your immune system! Studies show that regular, satisfying nookie can actually increase the effectiveness of your natural immune system by increasing the amount of immunoglobulin-A in the body. Immunogloblulin-A is the first antibody to react when the body has been invaded by a cold or flu virus, so more of this in the body is a good thing, especially during cold and flu season! What a great excuse to stay home in bed on a cold winter day, cuddling and making love with your partner!

Lower The Risk Of Death

Sure, sex is great and all, but did you know it can actually lower a man’s risk for death? The same goes for masturbation, because studies show that men between the ages of 45 and 59 who had an orgasm twice or more in a week’s time actually lowered their risk for death by as much as fifty percent!

Decrease The Risk Of Prostate Cancer

If you’re a man between the ages of twenty and fifty and ejaculate frequently, you’re actually decrease your risk of developing prostate cancer in the future! In this case, the more you ejaculate, the more you’re lowering your risk! Do you need a better excuse to ask your partner for more sex? The studies showed that men decreased their risk of developing prostate cancer by as much as 33%!

Make Your Period More Regular – And Stop Aging In Its Tracks

Women who are more sexually active – getting busy approximately a few times a week – tend to have menstrual cycles that are more regular than women who don’t have sex as often. This same study also produced findings that women who got it on at least weekly – without ever missing a week – aged more slowly than women who didn’t do it as much.

Ease Post Menopausal Symptoms

After menopause, the vagina can become dry and uncomfortable, and women can experience hot flashes as well as other symptoms when their bodies stop producing estrogen and other hormones necessary for reproduction. If a woman who has reached menopause has sex frequently – and at this age, “frequent” is considered about three or more times per month – her vagina tended to dry out less and produce more lubrication. She is also less likely to experience hot flashes. This is because sex increases the amount of estrogen in a woman’s body, which is the very thing women start to lack when they go through menopause.

Increase Your Threshold For Pain

Believe it or not, stimulation of a woman’s g-spot will actually help increase her threshold for pain. This is because pleasurable stimulation (with or without an orgasm) produces endorphins in the body – which are as effective as morphine at blocking pain. A woman can nearly double her pain threshold with regular sex!

Burn Calories And Boost Your Mood

Of course, it can help burn calories and boost your mood, for two reasons. First, your body burns calories during sexual activity because you’re working your body and sweating, but the activity will also boost your metabolism throughout the day (especially if you have morning sex), allowing your body to burn more calories during the day than it would have if you hadn’t had sex. A great orgasm will also boost your mood, as will the sheer act of being physical and feeling intimate with your partner.

Prevent Build Up Of Toxic Substances In The Body

If you’re a man who smokes cigarettes, drinks alcohol excessively or participates in illicit drug use, you might be surprised to find that certain substances – including cancer causing carcinogens – can build up in the ejaculatory fluid. Without regular sex or masturbation to expel the ejaculate, the body can simply harbor these chemicals and they will continue to build up until there finally is a release. Keep carcinogens and other unwanted chemicals from building up in your ejaculatory fluid by getting busy with your lover or masturbating until you reach climax regularly.

Decrease Headaches And Arthritic Pain

Studies also show that great sex reduces the intensity and frequency of headaches in both males and females, as well as the frequency and intensity of arthritic pain. This can be contributed to the release of endorphins through the body during sexual pleasure, especially during orgasm. If you have headaches often, or experience body aches and pains caused by arthritis, try increasing the amount you have sex with your partner or the amount you masturbate alone.

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#1: An Exciting Prelude To Begin Sexual Exploration

Make the foreplay hot and steamy for your partner. Start out with small bites on the earlobes and along the contours of the neck, followed by smooth and tender sucking on both nipples. Use light touches along the torso with your fingertips. Do these until you come into contact with the inner thighs. Let your lover be the one to guide you once she is prepared to take the exploration to a new level.

#2: Licking Is More Than Just The Movement Of Your Tongue

Start off by sliding your tongue along the vulva to the clitoris and along the borders of your lover’s vagina. The upward and downward motion of your tongue should be done repeatedly and unhurriedly. Use the broad part of your tongue for best results.

#3: Light Touches Along The Mounds Of The Most Private Areas

Allow the tip of your tongue to travel along the labia minora. To make this more pleasurable for a woman, let your tongue slide along this minute mound along with with some momentary sucking.

#4: Next Stop Is The Clitoris

Tenderly suck on your girl’s clitoris. You can move your tongue in various directions. Make your hands busy at the same time. Gently caress both breasts and have the tips of your fingers make light touches on the nipples and on more sensitive spots.

#5: Roll That Tongue!

Curl your tongue into a tube-like shape and insert it into the vagina as gently as you can. This step may be a little tricky especially for first-timers, but with enough practice, you can make your partner go wild.

#6: The Power Of Your Fingers

Insert two fingers into the vagina with your palm facing upward. Find the G-spot – a mound of flesh inside the vagina, about one to two inches in size. Lightly touch and add pressure on the G-spot using your fingertips. You will feel this flesh swelling up and become more rigid as you continue to stimulate it.

#7: The Most Awaited Moment – A Squirting Orgasm!

At this point, she will most likely reach the peak of sexual excitement and be able to experience the “gush” of female ejaculation. However, before she ejaculates, she may have a tingling urge to urinate. Assure your girl that it perfectly safe to let go. Act natural and make your partner feel that you are totally at ease, because this way, the sexual encounter becomes a lot more special. And with this, she will surely ask for more!

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Question: Can ejaculation cause blindness? This is something that I heard from various sources (people I know and people I talked to on the Internet) but I don’t know if there has actually been proven cases about this. Is it true or is this something that people made up?

–YouTube Viewer

Ejaculation Does Not Cause Blindness

Ejaculation – during sex or masturbation - never has and never will cause a man to go blind. This is what is known as a sex myth, and there are many of them. Other sex myths about masturbation and ejaculation are that it will cause a man to grow hairy palms. Going blind or growing hair on your palms is not something that will happen from simply ejaculating during sex or masturbation. There are no special or “rare” cases of this happening - it won’t happen, ever. It never did. If these sex myths were true, just about every guy in the world would be blind or have hair on his palms.

Where These Myths Come From

Generally, sex myths like this come from the last hundred years or so, when many religious and philisophical organizations decided it was bad or morally wrong to masturbate and shouldn’t be done. Rumors were spread that bad things would happen if you masturbated or ejaculated, such as going blind or growing hair on your palms. People who went blind were often looked down upon, almost as though they were proof that this affliction existed. Young boys and men were afraid to masturbate or ejaculate, because they were afraid horrible things would happen to them. Rumors and sex myths such as these were a form of control, a way for religious and philisophical organizations to force people to do what they believed was right.

What To Do When Someone Tells You A Sex Myth

If someone you know, or someone on the Internet tells you something you know is false, just dismiss it. Although the vast majority of civilization has realized that masturbation and ejaculation won’t in fact cause blindness or hair to grow on the palms, some people are still suggesting this is true to try to continue to force people to adhere to their own belief system. There is absolutely nothing wrong with masturbation and ejaculation – in fact, it’s a normal and healthy way to discover and enjoy your sexuality. A man’s body was designed to ejaculate, as a form of sexual release and to help make babies. Sometimes, if a man does not ejaculate after sexual tension has built up, this can cause some discomfort or pain. Masturbation is an excellent way to relieve sexual tension without the consequences that sex can bring, such as sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy.

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Question: Hello, I am 32 and been with my girlfriend for 9 years. In the past, we have had oral sex a lot and in the past 4 years it has went downhill at 65 mph. She would rather stroke it off or just have sex. She on the other hand loves receiving oral sex. How can I get her to give me oral and finish the job? She doesn’t like the taste, and the thought of it makes her sick. I crave it very badly!

–YouTube Viewer

Improving The Taste Of Your Semen

The biggest complaint that women have about giving oral sex is that they don’t like the taste of semen. Some men’s semen is bitter, or too salty, and just doesn’t taste good going down. If your partner has no problem with the temperature or texture of semen – only the taste of it – there are some ways you can improve the taste of your ejaculate. Start by eliminating toxins such as alcohol and cigarettes if you smoke, and add lots of vegetables and fruits to your diet. Pineapple juice or fresh pineapple is a great way to quickly make your semen taste sweeter. You can try to compromise with your partner and let her know that you’re doing things to improve the taste of your ejaculate and ask her if she’ll try again.

Don’t Pressure Her

Many women don’t like the temperature or texture of semen, and no amount of fresh pineapple will change that. If your partner really doesn’t like the idea of you finishing in her mouth and swallowing your ejaculate, don’t pressure her. There are just some things that many women won’t do, and swallowing is one of them. Don’t make a big deal out of it, because you may end up getting cut off from getting a blowjob all together, if that hasn’t already happened. If your partner has made it clear that letting you finish in her mouth is just something she’s not willing to do, pressing the issue could do damage to your relationship both sexually and emotionally. It’s important that on this issue, you respect her wishes if you can’t reach a compromise with her.

Trying Different Things

There are many different things you and your partner can do in the bedroom to satisfy each other sexually. If you are uncomfortable doing something or your partner is, make an effort to find something else that you both like to do and can agree on. Try incorporating role play, light bondage or sex toys into the bedroom to heat things up, or take a break from sex all together for awhile - called ”sex detox” – to help restart your engines. Don’t give up on finding new ways to please your partner and receive pleasure yourself , because there is always something new to try!

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What Is Semen Made Of?

Even though there are millions of sperm in a tablespoon of semen, sperm only comprises about 1% of ejaculate overall. Semen is mostly made up of proteins, water, salts, sugars and cholesterol. These are all things that allow sperm to travel and stay healthy. Since most of the sugars, proteins and salts in the rest of our bodies comes from what we eat, it makes sense that what you eat plays a big part in how your semen looks, tastes and feels. You can improve the taste, color and texture of your semen by changing your diet.

Avoiding Toxins

Toxins such as alcohol, caffeine and nicotine can all flavor your semen in negative ways. The body rids toxins in any way that it can, through urine, sweat and even ejaculation. Medications and other drugs, such as marijuana, can also flavor your semen and make it saltier or cause it to have a bitter aftertaste. Ridding your body of these toxins is the first step in sweeter, better tasting sperm.

Eating Right

Eating a good amount of fiber, protein and vegetables is a great way to start improving the taste of your semen. The best way to actually flavor your semen is with fresh fruits, especially pineapple. Any fruit will help your sperm become sweeter, including apples, cherries, pears, grapes and more. Even fresh fruit juices will help and can often be more convenient than eating whole fruits. Avoid eating vegetables that cause gas, such as cabbage, broccoli and cauliflower as this will cause your semen to taste more bitter. Vegetables such as celery and wheatgrass can improve the taste of your semen, as well as herbs such as cinnamon. Also, remember to drink plenty of water to keep your body flushed out and hydrated. Eat as healthy and natural as you can, because even the preservatives in products like chips, candy and frozen foods can make semen taste bitter.

Exercise

Exercise is an important part of sexual health, and your overall health and fitness also plays a part in how your sperm tastes. Make sure to get enough exercise in addition to a healthy diet. Frequent sex or masturbation can also help keep your semen in good condition, as new sperm and semen are being made on a regular basis. If you take one or more steps to help improve the taste and quality of your semen, your partner may be more willing to try swallowing after going down on you and may be more comfortable with the taste of your sperm. Try eating well and exercising for a week or two before asking your partner to swallow after a blowjob again – give your body enough time to flush out the toxins and absorb the nutrients you’re putting into it.

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Sexual Stimulation on a Scale of 1 to 10

You imagine a scale of stimulation from 1 to 10. 1 means you aren’t stimulated at all. It’s how you are before you even start to have sex. 3 means you’re starting to become physically stimulated. In other words, you can definitely feel it, but it’s not enough to make you come too early. 6 is where you really start to feel stimulated.

If you carried on with this level of stimulation, you’d rise to the next number on the scale: 7. 7 is where you’re very sexually stimulated. When you go above a 7 on the stimulation scale, you get close to the point of no return which is a 9.

The Point of No Return – You Will Orgasm

Passing the point of no return means you’re definitely going to ejaculate, no matter what you do. The edging technique involves masturbating until you get to a 7 on the scale, then backing off and slowing down until you’re back down to a 4 or 5, then speeding up until you’re about a 7 or 8 once more.

Using this method, you can learn to control your stimulation levels and thereby extend how long you’re able to have sex without coming. Once you’ve used edging alone for a while, though, you should take it to the next level: edging with your partner. Here’s how to do that.

How to Use Edging During Sex With Your Partner To Prevent Ejaculation

Begin sex with your partner. You should have already discussed that you’re going to try edging during this sexual encounter and she should be happy and enthusiastic about the idea. After foreplay, enter you partner in the position you know creates the smallest amount of sexual stimulation for you.

Now slowly build your way up to 7 on the stimulation scale. Be careful! It’s easy to jump right past 7 and pass the point of no return when using the edging technique in ‘live’ conditions. Once you’re at or just beyond 7, and therefore fairly close to coming, slow down or withdraw from your partner, wait a moment, then build it back up once more.

Keep going just as you do it when performing edging by yourself. After a while, you can switch to your next least intense sexual position and start the edging process once more. Of course, your partner doesn’t have to just lie there and let you beaver away throughout all of this.

The Perks for Her- Extended SEx

You can still kiss her, talk to her, tease her, etc. In other words, done right, this technique is awesome for your partner, even though it’s serving a productive purpose for you. Keep going through sexual positions, edging throughout each one. If you come after a while, don’t worry about it. You’ve made good progress. Next time, you’ll be able to go even further.

You won’t believe how effective this technique is when used in conjunction with deep breathing exercises. After just three or four sexual encounters, during which you’ve used this technique, you’ll notice that you can last two or even three times as long as you used to, before you used this method of edging.

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This is a spongy area two inches or more inside the yoni (vagina)  depending on the size of the yoni and the location of the clitoris. It is actually South Pole of the clitoris.

The First Documentation of Female Ejaculation

Female ejaculation was documented in ancient China and India where the Goddess-spot massage was a common Tantric-sex technique. Tantric texts call the liquid produced amrita, or “sweet nectar.” It is a protein-based fluid, found to be chemically different from urine. It is believed to have great healing properties.

This knowledge is slowly coming to the awareness of non-Tantric people like Dr. Mitchell Levine, a gynecologist/obstetrician at the Women Care clinic, in Arlington, who declares that women do ejaculate. He believes that the hush-hush aura around the subject does not help women or men. He believes that is should become common knowledge.

Medicine Ignores Women’s Sexuality

Sexuality, and especially women’s sexuality, does not receive much attention in medical school. In fact, one female gynecologist approached for this story declined comment, admitting not to know enough about the subject.

Our in so many other ways advanced western culture is badly informed about human sensuality. Medical encyclopedias still do not mention female ejaculation. There is some information, however, on The Complete Guide to Women’s Health.

Don’t Make Something Out of Nothing

The quantity of amrita is not indicative of how much the woman enjoys her release. Therefore, please men don’t make it an issue. Some woman I’ve been working with say they experience intense pleasurable feeling of release and often ejaculate three to nine times or more during one session of sex, each ejaculatory orgasm giving them more pleasure than the previous one.

However, the experience of female ejaculation varies from woman to woman. Some dribble a small amount of fluid; others soak the sheets.

Some women get concerned that they’re urinating, and they need to be reassured that this is not the case. It is amrita they secrete, not urine. In fact amrita does not smell or taste like urine.

The G-Spot Itself

The G-spot itself has been a subject of controversy since its “discovery” in 1944 by gynecologist Ernst Grafenberg. The “G” in the gspot stands for Granfenberg. In the ’60s, sexologists Masters and Johnson announced that female orgasms occurred primarily through stimulation of the clitoris, not the vagina, where the Gspot is found.

The G Spot (Holt, Rinehart, and Winston), a 1982 book by Beverly Whipple, Alice Ladas, and John Perry, refuted this claim and provides ample evidence that the g spot exists. My colleague, Dr. Gary Schubach, wrote a very enlightening thesis on the g spot. You can find it at http://www.doctorg.com.

Some feminists fear that widespread knowledge about female ejaculation will burden women with one more “trick” they must master in bed to feel fully orgasmic. While this is a true concern, I think that withholding knowledge is not the right approach. Educating women about their birthright to full enjoyment of their bodies is a positive approach.

Tantric approaches do not put any pressure on performance neither for males nor for females. In Tantra what is most important is the deep heart to heart connection and caring between the lovers while they experience the pleasure in lovemaking. The goal is connection and deepening intimacy, not performance.

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Making Lovemaking a Real Love Making Experience

Admittedly, ejaculatory orgasms produce intense pleasure, but without the slow build up of conscious touch, it is more like a sneeze in the groin, just a release of tension, than a deeply satisfying experience that “makes love grow” (love making).

Unfortunately for many people, sex encounters become more mutual masturbation than real love building experiences.

Tantra invites us to take time to thoroughly touch each other to increase arousal across the entire body. Our skin is our biggest organ and needs caring love and attention. But the Tantric touch, the conscious touch, goes deeper than the skin.

Using Conscious Touch

“Conscious touch” means that you are not thinking of something else. Your attention is fully on your lover, how they breathe and how they take in your touch. Your conscious touch stirs up energy, opening up both the heart and the flow of sexual energy in the form of weak electronic waves that continue to build up until they become larger waves that encompass the entire body.

Sometimes we touch how we want to be touched instead of tuning in to see how our lover likes it. If you notice your lover caught up in their own thoughts, notice how you are touching them. Ask if they would like a softer or stronger, slower or faster touch. This will get their attention back, and you will get a chance to give them the touch they desire.

Touch is both sensuous and healing. The most obvious emissaries of love are our arms, and the focal points from which love flows are the palms. When we touch our loved ones, we help them heal from any pain or disappointment they experience during the day, and they feel that life is worth living just to be touched by you.

Connecting Your Intention With Your Breath

When you connect your intention to your breath, you will feel their muscles sucking in that attention, all the way down to the bones. Yes, bones need love and attention, too, and your intention connected with your breath is powerful enough to penetrate deeply.

Tantric people know that touching a lover does not have to end in ejaculation. Some women cringe when their men start touching them because they know it will end up in intercourse and they might not be in the mood.

I invite men to set up a “just touching time” with your beloved. Then, even when she gets excited you keep your agreement of “just touching” during that time. Doing this often, you build up trust in your word, and she will be touched with joy anytime you do so.

And I promise you that both of you will have an incredibly great time touching and making love.  

To learn more about Carla Tara, visit www.1Tantra.com.

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While you might already know that these are old wives tales, it still might leave you with the question, “is masturbation right?” Whether it’s ‘right’ or not is something you need to decide for yourself, but masturbation isn’t unhealthy by any means.

Where did the taboo come from?

In many cultures, the taboo on masturbation stems from religion. When some religions came about, they considered that “wasting the seed” was a sin and therefore men shouldn’t masturbate.

The only approved sexual stimulation was sexual intercourse in order to procreate. At that point in the world, there were very few people and more people were needed to make tribes and different religious sects stronger and more profitable.

Masturbation was considered ‘wrong’ because instead of making a new person for the religion or tribe, you were . . . well, ‘wasting’ the seed.

Unfortunately, this taboo has been carried across decades and while there is no longer the issue of not having enough people around, in those religions and cultures masturbation is still looked down upon and considered a sin.

How do I know if it’s wrong for me?

While statistics show that the majority of men (and many women) masturbate, some people still feel that it’s wrong. Really think about your morals and your beliefs and whether masturbation makes you feel bad or not. If you find yourself feeling guilty afterwards, then by all means feel free to curtail your masturbation until it suits you.

Chances are though, you’re in the majority of people who enjoy masturbation and feel that there’s nothing wrong with it. Don’t let anyone try to impose their belief system on you. If you enjoy masturbation and feel that there’s nothing wrong with it, enjoy!

Will it hurt me?

Masturbation isn’t going to cause you anything but soreness and that’s only if you end up masturbating too much. You might get a little raw and if you do, you can stop masturbating for awhile and it will go away.  Masturbating using lotions or lubricants can keep you from experiencing any rawness or dryness of the skin in that area.

Masturbation won’t cause headaches, blindness or even hairy palms and you won’t run out of sperm either. Your body will simply produce more. Masturbation can even be considered healthy, as it can add stimulation to both men’s and women’s sex lives.

When can I masturbate?

There’s the key – finding the appropriate time for masturbation. If your partner dislikes your masturbation habits, make sure to do it away from them or when they’re not home. Don’t masturbate out in public and certainly don’t do it with someone who is not a consenting adult. Masturbation is mostly done alone in the privacy of your own home.

While some cultures and religions still feel that masturbation is wrong, many more are beginning to accept it as health studies show that it’s a completely safe and even healthy activity. Whatever you choose to do, make sure it’s what makes you comfortable.

If you enjoy masturbation like most people, just find an appropriate time and place to enjoy yourself. You can even masturbate with your partner to enhance your sex life!

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Many men also love finishing in a woman’s mouth during a blow job.

It can make them feel powerful or good about themselves and for some men, it just feels better physically to orgasm in a woman’s mouth than finishing another way.

Unfortunately, not all women relish the idea of having a man orgasm in her mouth.

There can be many different reasons why, but if you’re a man who enjoys finishing in a woman’s mouth, it can be disheartening when she doesn’t want to.  What can you do?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

When my wife gives me a blow job, she can’t quite let me finish in her mouth. Is there any advice you can give her?

- Pete, Alberta

It’s a texture thing

Some women don’t like the texture or consistency of ejaculate.  There’s no need to get into details here, but ejaculate in a woman’s mouth may make her gag simply because of the consistency and texture.  If this is her primary reason for not wanting you to finish in her mouth, there’s not too much you can do about it.  Can you finish elsewhere?

It’s a taste thing

Many women dislike the taste of ejaculate.  That’s not bad news because the taste of your ejaculate can differ depending on what you eat.  Garlic and onions may make your ejaculate taste bitter while strawberries and sweet fruits will make your ejaculate taste sweeter.

If this is your partner’s issue, you can change your diet to make your ejaculate easier to swallow.  Just remember to get feedback from your partner about what foods work well and what doesn’t.

It’s a gag reflex thing

Many women have big gag reflexes. It can’t be helped!  While she may be able to tolerate deep throating and blow jobs in general, ejaculate in her mouth might send her over the edge.  This is also something that you can’t really do anything about, so if this is the case, you should discuss with your partner some other ways to finish you while still making it feel good.

It’s a mental thing

Having a man ejaculate in her mouth is a very personal and even submissive thing for a woman.  If your partner was abused in any way, sexually or physically, she may have some serious issues with letting go and letting you finish in her mouth.

If your partner has emotional reasons for not wanting to let you orgasm in her mouth, have her talk to a therapist and work out some of her inner issues.  If she does let you finish in her mouth, it’s important to be supportive and positive, and show her that you truly do care and you’re not just using her.

There are many great ways for a man to have an orgasm with a woman after a blow job, without having to finish in her mouth.  Get creative and find different ways that she can please you without having to swallow ejaculate.

If the idea of ejaculating in her mouth really turns you on but she simply can’t come to terms with it, try flavored condoms or regular condoms that are made for this specific purpose.  The feeling might decrease a little bit, but you’ll get to finish in her mouth and she won’t have to swallow it so everyone wins!

Most of all, it’s important to talk with your partner about these issues and find common ground so you can both get pleasure from oral sex.

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