Ask Dan and Jennifer » family

The Best Years are Yet to Be, if You Allow It…

Elaine Williams — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 13:47:01 +0000

Recently I was asked to describe the best years of my life. When I was younger, I remember summers going on seemingly forever. What wonderful times, playing tag or touch football until dark with the neighborhood kids, staying out until you had to come inside to take a bath and jump into bed. Endless, wonderfully carefree summer days.

Marriage and Babies

Marriage and the subsequent birth of my three boys followed. Each of their births is etched indelibly upon my memory. My oldest arrived two weeks early, dark haired and perfect, a little miniature human being. Always active and a handful, but a wonderful, compassionate person who turned 24 this year.

My middle son arrived screaming, as if he could hardly wait to enter the world. He was the head banger. If he fell, he always managed to hit his head. Following his speedy arrival, he’s been laid back ever since and has a wonderful, dry sense of humor. That was a memorable 22 years ago.

My youngest son was a real surprise when I discovered myself pregnant at 35. We were whisked into the delivery room with only twenty minutes to spare. He arrived screaming, eager to see what was going on. I’ll never forget the moment my husband looked at me and said, “You make beautiful babies.” That beautiful baby is now 16.

The best years and memories are scattered so delightfully throughout my life, and most center around family. At times the images arrive in vivid, fresh detail, as if I’m looking at a photo album.

The Unthinkable

When my husband died, there was a long time I didn’t think I’d ever be able to say “the best years of my life” again. I felt stuck, emotions running from lonely and confused to isolated. I tried to understand, but many days I felt as if I was drifting with no purpose or passion.

In a gradual process, the darkness lifted. Five years later, I realize there are many days that I will be able to look back and say, “These are some of the best years of my life.” I have become so much more empowered from the experiences I’ve been given, managing to take something good out of each “sad” experience.

I now find it exciting, knowing there is so much before me, and some of the best years of my life are yet to come.

What Should I Do if My Family Doesn’t Approve of My Lover? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 12:09:28 +0000

If you find yourself in a situation where one or more family members don’t approve of your relationship with your partner, you’re not alone.

Often, family members won’t like a partner because they don’t think they’re good enough for you, or for other reasons.

It can be difficult trying to please everyone you care about, including your family and your partner. Does family come first?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My cousin and I have been closer than close for 2 years – Never letting anything get in the way. We are always there for each other. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for 4 months and she has been recently single for 2 months. I’m in a good relationship and everything is going great. We even started having sex. My cousin is totally against it and now wants me to end my relationship with him. What should I do? He’s the only guy that I have been active with and I love him… but I also believe that family comes first. How could I get my cousin to see that were no different and that she shouldn’t try to intervene in my sex life?

–YouTube Viewer

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Making Your Own Choices

If you’re a legal adult, you can make your own choices about who you want to date and when. Perhaps you don’t want to date anyone or perhaps you want to date someone your family doesn’t approve of. Either way, it’s your choice. It’s no one else’s!

However, that doesn’t make it any less difficult of a situation to deal with if your family is consistently hassling you over who you’re dating. It can be hard to have a positive, successful relationship with someone if your family always has something negative to say about your partner, but it can also be hurtful to be in disagreement with your family over who you’re dating. What do you do? Who do you choose?

You Shouldn’t Have To Choose

You shouldn’t have to choose between your family and who you want to date. Your family should love and accept you no matter what. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen…

Why Won’t He Tell His Family About Our Relationship? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 02:27:24 +0000

Friends and family can often be very unsupportive of your new relationships.

You know the drill… your mom keeps finding faults with your new girlfriend, your friends don’t think she’s "not right for you", and so on. Or your dad just thinks "that new boy just isn’t the one", and makes sure to remind you of that 3 times a day.

So if you’re in love and want the relationship to blossom, you’ll have to decide what side to take – and who can make those decisions in your love life.

Some people ignore this "well intentioned" advice and make their own decisions on life and love, while others just give in and walk away from their newfound love.

And then there are those who decide to live a double life with their newfound love, and hide this relationship from their family and friends. For whatever reasons, they decide the secrets and lies are worth it.

But is this really better than facing your family and friends and making the hard decision? Where do you draw that line?

You decide. Be sure to read the question, then watch the video and leave your thoughts below.

Here’s the full story…

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I am 71 years old and I have been seeing this guy who is 80 off and on for 3 years

He lives one hour from me and I met him on line

The question I have is that after that long and being intimate he still keeps me a secret from his family

He says he is divorced for 5 years but I asked him once does your daughter and son know about me he said no

They couldn’t face the fact because of the divorce – she is 27 and son is 28 he has no phone and I have never been to his home he has been to mine many times and has met my whole family

Whenever I bring up the subject about his home or anything he evades the question he said he loves me deeply but if I mention I don’t like all these secrets he thinks I have found a young stud and that makes no room for him and if I even think I should look somewhere else I feel guilty.

Please tell me where you think I stand because I am thinking of joining a singles club in town. It isn’t that I want to be with him 24/7 it is the mystery behind all this.

I have the computer for communications unless he calls me from a card phone which I can’t call back on. Thank you for your time.

-Rose

Watch this short video for the answer…

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