Ask Dan and Jennifer » first date idea

First Date Dilemma

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 28 Jun 2007 00:32:41 +0000

Singles muddle through mixed messages, fuzzy intentions, and changing social mores.

Gone are the days when a man and a woman meeting over a drink knew the outing was undoubtedly a first date. With lines blurring between the platonic and the romantic, defining what constitutes a first date has become a guessing game, as maddening as catching a gnat with chopsticks.

The various intentions behind a first date, from finding a mate to bedding a casual-sex partner, has forced many singles to define exactly what it is.

Check out First Date Dilemma, a great article from Mark de la Vina of the San Jose Mercury News. Not only is Mark’s article entertaining and well written…

It also features extensive quotes from your favorite Dating & Relationship advice columnists, Dan and Jennifer. Yes, we’re biased. . Go check it out.

Leaving the Friend Zone – How to Actually Ask Her Out On a Date (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 03 Apr 2007 13:00:29 +0000

At some point you’re going to have to make your move and depart the friend zone. Now, this may not be in the first minute or two, and maybe not even the first time you talk to her. The key here again is self confidence. You’ll also need a little patience.

Take your time and feel it out first. Don’t make her choose until you know she’s comfortable enough with you to give you a chance and you’re comfortable enough to take the chance.

Watch this short video to find out how to move out of the ‘Friend Zone’ and on to the next level.

Don’t forget to go to YouTube and rate the video and subscribe to our channel.

Then, be sure to tell us your thoughts - leave a comment below.

Here Are Some Great Ways to Get ‘Lucky’ in Love on St. Patrick’s Day

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 16 Mar 2007 17:00:32 +0000

So maybe you’ve never thought of St. Patrick’s Day as a romantic holiday…

Why not try something new this year and surprise your significant other with something a little more romantic than green beer.

We say that when you’re in love, the best way to stay in love and keep the spark in your relationship is to make every day a romantic holiday. So here are some great romantic ideas for this St. Patrick’s Day.

Get ‘Lucky’ in Love on St. Patrick’s Day

By: Amy Cunningham

St. Patty’s Day is no longer just for the Irish! Take the time to add a spark of romance and let that special someone know how truly ‘lucky’ you feel to have them in your life.

This is a common suggestion, but not many couples actually take advantage of it! Pack a picnic lunch, complete with a bottle of wine. Head out to your local park, snag a shady spot under a tree and prepare yourself for an afternoon of romance. After eating, have a little St. Patty’s Day fun by searching for four-leaf clovers in the grass. While it may sound cheesy at first, you’ll really feel the romantic sparks.
A perfect gift for the perfect lass! Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day deliciously with a gift box full of St. Patrick’s Day themed berries. These berries are lusciously dipped in dark chocolate, milk chocolate, white chocolate, almonds, chocolate chips, and green tinted coconut. It’s fun and romantic!
Rent a "lucky" movie and have a romantic night at home! Lucky Seven, starring Kimberly Williams-Paisley (from The Tenth Kingdom and Father of the Bride), is a great romantic comedy for St. Patrick’s Day. Amy’s (Williams-Paisley) mother dies when she is just 7 years old and leaves her with a timeline for her life, including the fact that she will have 6 boyfriends before she meets the 7th, who is "the one". Everything in Amy’s life is perfect and she has followed the time line exactly until she meets the perfect guy. The problem is that he is guy number six. In order to keep her perfect time line in tact, Amy seeks out a temporary sixth boyfriend, the bagel guy. She is soon caught between the two men in a hilarious attempt to figure out her life and love.
It’s said that the four-leaf clover symbolizes wealth, fame, a faithful lover and good health. Pressed between two layers of glass, this genuine four-leaf clover is surrounded by a polished-aluminum frame and sturdy stand. There is no gift that is more perfect for your lucky love on St. Patrick’s Day than this framed genuine four-leaf clover.
Have your sweetie search for his/her own lucky pot o’ gold! You can fill a small pot with golden chocolate coins (found at most candy stores) and a love letter inside. You can either leave the pot o’gold out in the open for your sweetie to find or leave clues filled with romantic notions leading them to the end of their rainbow…

Related articles:

Is Shyness Keeping You From the Girl of Your Dreams?

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 16:37:10 +0000

The Question:

There is this girl at my church that I think might like me. Every time I get a chance to say something to her I don’t because I’m really shy. What can I say or do to break the ice?

The Answer:

The challenge here is that you really like her and really want her to like you. And that’s the problem. That wanting translates into fear – fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of being alone.

STOP! Let’s go through this together so you will be able to approach her with ease the next time you see her.

She’s a regular person, just like you

Don’t put her on a pedestal just because you like her. This is one of the biggest mistakes men make with women, which is why they strike out so often.

Remember, she’s a regular person, just like you. So, treat her that way. Be nice, friendly, and most of all, confident in yourself. You wouldn’t be shy talking to one of your guy friends or a girl that you have no interest in, right?

So treat her like that – just one of your friends.

Men and women aren’t nearly as different as we all like to believe. At the end of the day we’re all people with needs, feelings, hopes, dreams, etc. We all need friends, companionship, and so on.

How can you tell if she likes you?

When you talk with her, notice how you feel. Do you feel like you WANT her to like you, or do you feel that she DOES like you? Is there a strong surge of energy, a magical spark between the two of you? Down deep, you’ll know if she really likes you.

You can feel it. Trust your gut.

Warning. Many guys make a big deal about asking a girl if she likes them. Don’t ever do that. You’ll put her on the spot and she’ll have to choose without getting to know you first. It’s like deciding if you want to buy a car without ever sitting in it.

The key here is confidence and belief in you. Listen for what’s in your heart, not for what you want to be there. If you’re too nervous to even talk without stuttering, then you won’t be able to read your gut feelings. So it’s very important to get a grip on yourself and just relax.

What if she turns you down?…

Top 10 Resources for Valentine’s Day Ideas, Tips, and Advice

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 24 Jan 2007 15:04:40 +0000

Stop searching all over the internet for creative and romantic ideas this Valentine’s Day. We’ve done all the work for you and put together a complete list of resources for you. Inside you’ll find resources to help you have the most romantic and sexy Valentine’s Day ever!

After searching all over the web (so you don’t have to), here is our Top 10 List of resources for this Valentine’s Day.

Romance

Creative Valentine’s Day Ideas

Our top pick is from one of our favorite men in the romance area – Michael Webb.

"One of the least romantic days of the year is Valentine’s Day. Yes you heard me correctly. The majority of men act like robots, purchasing flowers and chocolate for their sweethearts because that is what everyone else is doing. Many people celebrate the day out of obligation rather than celebration.

Here are some ways to celebrate Valentine’s Day a bit more romantically and creatively."

Here’s our favorite book from Michael Webb – "300 Creative Dates". If you don’t have it yet, we highly recommend it!

What Women Want for Valentine’s Day

"Valentine’s Day is coming up, and even if you haven’t got a girl to buy something for it’s important that you know about the art of gift buying for women."

RomanceTips.com

The destination for romantic tips, ideas, date advice, and romantic articles.

Ten Tips for a Romantic & Memorable Valentine’s Day

"The Valentine’s Day gift you choose for your loved one and how you decide to spend the day says a lot about the quality of your relationship, so give something that has real meaning to you. Gifts from the heart don’t have to be expensive. Since the traditional gifts of flowers or chocolates don’t last forever, here are ten creative ways to express your love."

Sex and Intimacy

Red Hot Valentine’s Day Guide from iVilllage.

What do guys find sexy in a woman? 18 Body Language Clues That Say He’s Interested. Worship-Worthy Oral Sex Secrets. Why guys don’t like Valentine’s Day.

The Top 27 Valentine’s Day Tips to Make Your Man Desire You More

Great article for women…

"Valentine’s Day is just around the corner. You have been in a relationship with a man for a while, but he hasn’t been committed to you. You might wonder about him: “Is he going to commit to me on Valentine’s Day?” “Is he going to propose on Valentine’s Day?”

Valentine’s Day is actually the best day to break up with a partner if the relationship isn’t going anywhere. My 27 Valentine’s Day tips are politically incorrect, but they are always practically correct."

Top 6 Erotic Books for Valentines Day Gifts from About.com

"Some say that time is the greatest Valentine’s Day gift you can give your partner. But what if you run out of things to say? While that isn’t likely, consider offering your lover an erotic bedtime story, or an erotic poem to start off Valentine’s Day right. If time or creativity constraints prevent you from penning your own words of love or lust, consider these collections of new and classic erotic writings."

Other Valentine’s Day Resources

KnowledgeHound.com

Activities, Party Planning, Games…
Ideas for a Romantic Evening for Two

MyDearValentine.com

Valentine’s cards and ideas, dating tips and relationship advice.

Valentine’s Day Guide from LovingYou.com

Do you have another great resource to share? Leave a comment below and tell us about it.

First Date Question – How Can I Avoid the Conversation Dead Zone and Keep From Striking Out?

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 11:56:00 +0000

The Question

"I get stuck trying to start the conversation. Absolute silence drives me crazy. The ice breaker that I say usually ends up being something really stupid." – Anonymous

The Honest Answer

We’ve all been there before – that awkward silence that occurs when you’ve just met someone and have no idea what to say…

Just picture this in your mind… You’ve just met someone new and you’re a little unsure what to say to make a good first impression. Maybe you’re a little shy and a lot nervous! Maybe you’re just tired from a long day at the office. Regardless, you’re completely stuck and cannot think of a single intelligent thing to say. To make matters worse, your date isn’t saying anything either.

It’s the "FIRST DATE DEAD ZONE!" – Help! Someone say something… anything… Quick!

Is your fax machine more articulate that you?

No, your fax machine simply has an established protocol for first dates. Think back to the last time you faxed a document to someone. Your fax machine makes a connection to the other fax machine, and then you hear all kinds of gibberish before the document starts going through.

Did you ever wonder what that’s all about?

Well, the two fax machines are basically saying hello and setting the tone of the conversation, how fast they’re going to talk, what language they are going to use, and how long they’re going to chat.

It’s very similar to those first few minutes with your date.

You’re getting to know a brand new person
You’re getting used to their speech patterns and body language
You’re figuring out their sense of humor (which can in and of itself change the tone of the conversation completely)
You’re trying to determine their intentions. Are they really friendly? Can you trust them? Do the mean you any harm?
Do you really, really like them?

You simply need to implement your own personal first date protocol.

It’s important to remember that WHAT is said during those first few minutes doesn’t really matter. What is important is to establish that initial, friendly connection with the other person.

Here are some communication 101 tips for getting started on the right foot.

Be friendly and genuinely nice
Show concern for the other person’s feelings
Truly listen to them – look them in the eyes (I know that’s a tough one but you can do it.)

That’s great, but what do I say? Is there a canned ice breaker for every occasion?

Not exactly, but there’s always something you can say to alleviate the awkward silence.

These ideas should work in most first date situations.

Ask about their day… How was it?
Ask about their work… What do they do? How do they like it?
Inquire about pets and children. How many? Names? Ages?
Do they have anything that they like to do when they’re not working? Hobbies? Sports? Etc.

I know these sound rather generic, but the idea behind these simple questions is to find something that you both enjoy and feel comfortable talking about. Hopefully, you will find some things that you have in common.

However, it is important to not get too personal too fast . Show interest, and ask further probing questions, but don’t be too intrusive. You don’t want to scare the other person off.

So why do we freeze up on the first date?

In most cases, that uncomfortable silence (which can often cause panic for some), is based on fear. Yes, fear…

Fear that you’ll say something really stupid
Fear that you’ll have nothing in common
Fear that the other person won’t like you
Fear of being put on the spot to perform

How do you overcome YOUR fear?

Although there isn’t a magic formula that will save you every time, there is a solution to your problem. Take a little time before your date to come up with a few simple and general questions that you can ask or compliments that you might be able to make. Write them down on a piece of paper. Keep the piece of paper in your wallet or purse. You don’t necessarily have to look at it – just having it with you and knowing that it’s there will help you remember.

If you get really stuck, excuse yourself to the restroom and look at your cheat sheet. When you return, you will surely impress your date with your thoughtful and caring questions.

Stay tuned, more soon…

We encourage our readers to send us their most pressing online dating and relationship questions. If you haven’t told us your biggest dating question yet, you’ll want to go to AskDanAndJennifer.com and do it now before you forget.

For some fun and really unique date ideas, check out our review of Michael Webb’s excellent book 300 Creative Dates.

Revealing New Online Dating Book…

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 28 Jun 2006 16:30:00 +0000

If you have ever thought about trying online dating or if you are using online dating but having less than amazing results, this book is for you.

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Go here to get it today!
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