Ask Dan and Jennifer » flirting

How To Tell If Someone Really Likes You

Maryanne Comaroto — Wed, 16 Sep 2009 01:00:55 +0000

I call them “leakers.” What’s a leaker? Someone who flirts with you, wants you to want them, who enjoys and prefers the chase, the hunt, the rush and the kill. Sounds messy eh? Oh, yeah. It can lure even the sweetest, most naïve person to sell their precious soul for just a taste.

I can’t tell you how many times friends or clients have complained about their disenchanting, painful encounters with “leakers.” Men and women who seem so great at first, almost to good to be true and then…wham, bam, ouch, waah…

What A Leaker Takes From You

A “leaker” leaks their sexual energy-and not in a “good way”. They will lead you on, bark up your tree, pursue you like you have never been pursued, woo you up the highest mountain. They are often incapable of intimacy, married or already in one or several relationships because they need so much attention.

So let me draw another parallel … leakers are like molten chocolate. They envelop you with their smoldering languid glances, devour you with their luscious smiles, seduce you with their choreographed confidence until you beg to drown a slow death in exchange for just a sip.

It’s that irresistible something you can’t put your finger on, but you want to be near or keep coming back for more of, ’cause its feels sooooo good. At least for now. But then you’ll eventually find out: she/he’s the seductress, the hedonist, the junkie, the shadow hissing and whistling, cat-calling you like an ancient siren that renders you deaf, dumb and blind to their true intentions. Doesn’t really matter if you have low, loads or no self-esteem – the leaker’s pull is like a vortex few can withstand as our hearts ache and long for what the shadow only pretends to bring…never-ending passion.

Leakers vs. Likers

So – how to tell the leakers from the likers? Here are a few tips that will help you navigate the dangerous waters of telling the leakers from the likers.

The first time you meet a leaker he/she will make you feel like you are the most special person in the whole world, forgetting where you are, as if you are the only two people in the whole room/train/dance club/world. You might never eat or sleep again, or at least will check your email (VM, whatever) 10 times an hour to see if they called, twittered, pinged you. Like a crack addict waiting for his junk. VS The first time you meet a liker you feel curious, a subtle yet particular interest to know more; you recognize their personal boundary and respect it, feel their reciprocal awareness of you but are not overwhelmed by it. You are left with a warm feeling.
The leakers leave you feeling insecure. VS The likers leave you feeling good about yourself.
The leaker’s affection isn’t exclusive to you and you start to wonder what you are doing wrong or what is wrong with you that you can’t keep their attention. VS The liker behaves this particular way in your presence alone, cordial and social to others but qualitatively different.
The leaker moves fast. VS The liker isn’t in a hurry; they know what they want and will wait.
Leakers are exciting but get bored and indifferent easily. VS Likers are more like a slow burn, not so quick to jump, they ramp up, like the buildup and are into sustainability.
Leakers have a rep for being, well, leakers; cheaters, players, have problems with commitment, etc. VS Likers have a history of trial and error, like most, but have a track record of longevity and heart and partner(s) who’ll vouch for it.

So, whether you are a leaker trying to quit, tired of getting leaked on, or simply satisfied to finally find a name for those folks who do that thing they do-there you go. And after all these years on my own path I can safely say I keep a healthy distance from the shark tank, however fascinating they are. As the saying goes; look, don’t touch! A little goes a long way!

When Does Harmless Flirtation Become An Affair?

Sarah Elizabeth Malinak — Mon, 31 Aug 2009 22:00:56 +0000

Some would say there is no such thing as a “harmless” flirtation. I disagree. Humans flirt. It isn’t just a mating ritual; it is one of the many ways we communicate with each other, extending an invitation for various levels of closeness. When you are around babies and small children and begin cooing and talking baby talk, you’re flirting! It’s a way of letting others know you are safe and fun to be with. It is a way of getting close. However, among married or committed adults, harmless flirting can become an affair long before any physical act of passion takes place.

For simplicity’s sake, we’ll refer to married life in light of this issue. However, it is clearly true that the same advice can be applied to any committed relationship!

Flirtation vs. Affair

The shift from flirtation to affair happens before you begin doing the things in the list I have provided below. The shift happens when deep inside yourself you feel a sense of loyalty and belonging to this other person. You feel the rush of falling in love, even if you don’t call it that. A chemical reaction even happens in your body, allowing this stranger to feel like “home.” Then the following kinds of things begin to happen, sending up a red flag that you have crossed the line.

You can’t wait till the next time you text, instant message, call, or see that person.
You begin sharing things with him or her that you don’t share with your spouse.
You begin making a list of the things you look forward to sharing with your new friend.
You create experiences or conversations with this person that you are reluctant to share with your spouse.
All your spare thoughts are for and about the other person.
You dress for him or her, rather than for your spouse or even yourself.
The two of you begin sharing secrets.
You find that his or her cologne or perfume makes you feel warm and fuzzy.
You resent the time your marriage steals from your new friend.

At this stage of the game, you have an emotional affair underway. Now what? There are many things that need to happen if your first priority is to save your marriage.

An Emotional Affair

First of all, understand that this emotional affair doesn’t mean your marriage is over. Your relationship does need attention. That is obvious.

Take responsibility for what you have created. Don’t waste time playing the blame game, accusing anyone else for your lapse in judgment. Thank God for your ability to make new friends and then get busy taking your life back before it gets ruined.

Get clear about whether or not you wish to remain married. If this emotional affair is the last straw on an already burdened marriage that has been heading for divorce for some time, you need to be aware of that. However, if it was a lapse in judgment and you want to save your marriage, allow it to serve as a yellow flag that your spouse and your marriage need your attention.

If You Want To Save Your Marriage

Stop the behaviors that led you into this affair. Quit texting, instant messaging, and calling this other person. Quit sharing things with him or her that you do not want to share with your spouse. Quit having private lunches or any other private rendezvous.

You may have to tell your friend that while you appreciate the friendship, your family needs more of you and that it’s time for you to turn your attention back to your family. I don’t suggest acknowledging to your friend that the two of you are in the middle of an emotional affair. Not if you want to save your marriage.

If you want to save your marriage, your emotional state in light of your friend is actually none of his or her business. It is your business and it may be your spouse’s business, but it isn’t your friend’s business.

Treat turning your thoughts away from this friend and back to your real life and the real loves in your life like a self-growth or spiritual discipline. You don’t have to beat yourself up when you find your thoughts drifting to him or her. Simply turn your thoughts to something else, anything else that has to do with your real life. (I say real because unless this emotional affair is solid proof to you that your marriage is over, you are living a fantasy getting your emotional needs met this way).

Open Communication

Talk to your spouse. Without blame, open the door for discussions about what the two of you need to do and how you need to be in order to strengthen your relationship. The emotional affair may have been an accident, but it is also a warning that your relationship is fragile and needs nourishment. Assure your spouse that your heart, your head, and your body are in the marriage. Be prepared to have that assurance tested by your spouse and your own thoughts and feelings.

Stick to the process with a renewed commitment to increase the intimacy and friendship between you and your spouse and the lapse in judgment that led to the emotional affair could turn out to be a true gift.

What Women Want

Chick In Heels — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 01:15:43 +0000

I recently read an article about what women want, and your average woman commented on what ‘touched’ her most when it came to men. Some women wanted help around the house, some women wanted sex in a certain manner, some women wanted appreciation. It got me to thinking about what women REALLY want in a relationship. It will be interesting to see if the women out there agree with me, I tend to think more like a guy (or so I’m told lol!!).

Playful Passion

Number one for me is that I want to feel passionate with my man. I want to feel like there is always a fire burnin’ for one another. I want to keep the spice alive!! I love it when my guy and I are flirty together and keep that ‘secret connection’ in the forefront, like stealing those mini make out sessions whenever the opportunity presents itself. It’s vital to a relationship to take advantage of those times – those moments when you can still be playful together. The key however, is having the desire and mindset to be actively flirty and fun with your partner. It’s easy to let life distract you. Bills, chores, work, kids – the lazy route is to have these things interfere. The participative route (which is a whole lot more fun and rewarding) is to WANT to keep the special moments going. Women crave this kind of connection from their men. The guy who will slide up behind her while she’s working in the kitchen – even a passing ‘goose’ to say “how YOU doin??”

Foreplay First

For the women out there who want sex (and who doesn’t!?!) the consensus seems to be that they want some good quality foreplay. Guys who show they CARE about how you respond to their actions. Guys who take their time and WANT to turn their woman on (on a side note, guys should expect the same in return – a girl who merely ‘gives it up’ doesn’t cut it for a guy’s excitement level either). Some guys can get lost in the ultimate goal of ‘getting her off’ and lose sight of the passion in attaining that outcome. Sex shouldn’t be a chore between a couple in any way, both people should equally enjoy the physical involvement. Sex is the one thing that bonds you above and beyond all other relationships – make it feel that way – make it a priority. Women want to feel sexy, loved and that you care about what excites them in the bedroom.

Cunning Compliments

Along with that point is that women want to feel like their man is attracted to them. They want to feel beautiful. Most women have an inner conversation that pin points their flaws and physical insecurities. I’d be hard pressed to find a woman who doesn’t mentally criticize her cellulite or weight or breast size…you name it, we self scrutinize it! Men are not always aware of the internal self doubt that a lot of women have. We count on our men to remind us of how beautiful we are. Every woman desires to hear that. A woman wants to feel like no matter where she is, the man she is with looks at her as the most beautiful woman in the room. Men may be surprised at the realization that the odd compliment can boost us so high. I’m guilty for looking to my man for approval, always wanting to look my best for him – I’m not one to take his attraction for granted. A woman who feels good, also feels good to be around fellas!

Love and Loyalty

An important factor to a lot of women (and men) is commitment and loyalty. Anyone in a good relationship values the commitment of their partner. Feeling safe and secure in their bond and not having to question their partner’s actions. Knowing that their partner chooses to be with them and is devoted to the relationship. I believe that the commitment level that you are willing to give should be equal to that of what your partner is willing to give as well. Feeling like your man would do anything for you and has completely given of himself to you, and vice versa. A woman desires for her man to show he is proud to be with her and has no problem indicating his belief in the commitment he has to her. A woman longs to be her man’s one and only.

Ultimately both sexes want to be with a partner who ‘betters’ their life. Who is supportive through the rough times and helps to create the good times. Someone you can laugh with, someone you enjoy spending time with. The one person above all others you would choose to be around no matter what it is that you are doing. The person in your life who you want by your side. If you really think about what you want – I am certain the qualities I have mentioned here will be the ones that count the most, even above any physical or social attributes. Passion, supportiveness, devotion and commitment, the person you’d be missing if they weren’t in your life. Someone who puts your feelings above all else. Someone who makes you happy.

How Can I Tell If My Date Really Likes Me? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 12:42:25 +0000

Navigating the dating world can be difficult for both men and women. It’s hard to tell what your date’s motivations are and if they really like you or not.

Both men and women can also send mixed messages too, making it even harder for you to figure out what is going on. How can you tell if your date really likes you?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

How can I tell if she’s really into me?

–Jeff, North Carolina

Wait! Give this Video 5 Stars and Subscribe Today so you don’t miss a single video.

Dating vs. Friends

The first way to tell if your date really likes you is to look at the dating pattern. Are you going on dates with this person alone or are you going on dates with other friends as friends? If you’re going on dates with them alone, do you continue to go out on dates or call each other?

If the answer is that you are dating this person, as in going on dates alone with them and spending time with them, chances are they really do like you. Neither men nor women will continue to date someone and continue to spend time with someone if they’re not at least a little interested.

If you’re dating someone, you can assume they like you enough to give you more chances, and they probably like you a lot!

If you and your date are going out with other people, such as your friends, it can be a little more difficult to figure out if they like you or not.

Body Language

Another way to tell if your date really likes you is to pay attention to their body language. Do they move close to you when they talk to you? Do they touch your arm or your leg as they’re having a discussion with you? If your date seems really interested in you and really does like you, you’ll be able to tell by watching their body language.

Talk To Them

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The Easy Way To Get A Girlfriend

Alex Shalman — Sat, 24 Jan 2009 13:07:51 +0000

On many occasions my guy friends would come to me for advice and ask me how they could get a girlfriend. Perhaps it’s because I’ve been dating since 6th grade, or possibility because they’ve never seen me without a girlfriend.

When it comes to dating, the number one thing to do is organize our priorities. It follows that the number one question to ask ourselves is, “why do I want to be in a relationship.”

Why Do YOU Want to Be in a Relationship?

The answer to this question will be very unique and personal to you. It could be for fun, for sex, for security, for comfort or a large variety of other reasons. Whatever your reason is, it’s important for you to have a clear distinction of what you’re looking for.

My current style of dating is “dating for marriage.” This means that I’m looking for someone that I think will make an awesome wife, will fulfill my needs till death do us part, and someone that I’ll be able to give my love to fully and easily. I would define this as a passionate-friendship.

This hasn’t always been my style of dating though. My dating technique used to consist of dating anybody who was interested in me.

With that technique at the center of my game I made some very wrong choices. Choices that would ultimately leave me feeling frustration and a lack of control.

Through much trial and error, and over a decade of dating, I’ve put together the pieces of the dating puzzle.

Now it’s simple to see that being a confident dater, and getting the person that you want, is as simple as defining what it is that you are looking for.

“So You’ve Figured it Out. Good For You, But What About Me?”

I have no intention of leaving you hanging without the answer that you’re looking for. The way to figure out what you want is to sit down with yourself, and carefully do an extensive self-examination of all of your needs and wants.

The key to this is to ask yourself all the right questions in all the important categories.

These questions aren’t magic, nor are they secret, and I have full intention of freely divulging them to you, at no charge, and at your earliest convenience.

While I’m at it though, I’d like to tell you some of the other tips and tricks that I have deciphered over the years.

What Do You Really Want?

I’d like to help you understand exactly what it is that you want. Then, I will show you how to build up the confidence so that you realize you deserve to have what you want.

After that, we’ll work on approaching the person of your dreams. We’ll work on communicating powerfully, so that you can really get your point across. Then we’ll close the deal together, as you learn a couple of sure-fire tactics for closing the deal and asking them out.

The great part about what I’m going to show you is that it’s not just for getting into a relationship, or “picking up girls (or guys).”

This technique works for people that are already in a relationship, and it also works for building successful business relationships.

This is where a lot of internet markets would say, come and get it for the low low price of something-something dollars.

However, I’m not selling anything. I genuinely want you to be in an amazing relationship, much like the one I went out and got, so that you can be fulfilled.

How To Approach Groups Of Girls You Don’t Know, And Get Them To Think You’re Great!

Tiffany Taylor — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 19:08:49 +0000

If you’re wondering how to approach girls in a group and get them to think you’re wonderful, keep reading. For this example I’m going to use women at a bar. I will be going into lots of other techniques for non-bar pickups too but for now, we’ll stick with this.

(Note: In fact, I even recommend you try my top places for picking up that are not bars. They are WAAAAAAAY better than ANY bar and you’ll see a massive leap in your success rates with women.)

As you know, women don’t usually go to bars on their own. They go in groups.

Approaching Groups of Women Can Be Scary!

Approaching GROUPS of women can be extremely daunting and if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can fail BADLY with groups and like a pack of wolves they can rip you apart. I’ve seen men get cussed at, totally ignored and even drinks poured over them.

But if you do the approach RIGHT, then your success with a group of women can usually yield great results.

Whenever I suggest approaching groups of women I get LOADS of guys looking at me as though I’m from another planet. I realize that lots of guys probably don’t have the initial confidence to simply walk up to beautiful women they don’t know. Don’t worry, this can be easily solved. I’ll give you some simple tips here.

SIDE NOTE: If you have a major confidence problem then don’t worry, I have an advanced 155-page E-book called HypnoDate which almost exclusively goes into increasing your confidence with women – and it works through the power of self-reprogramming so it doesn’t matter how shy you are, this thing WILL work for you. But guess what – it’s a bonus product that comes with my book at no extra cost.

Increasing Confidence Exercise In The Mall

Step 1. Walk around the shopping mall and when you catch a woman’s eye, smile at her. More often than not, she’ll smile back. To start with you can do this just with shop employees. Even if they don’t WANT to smile, they probably will. Good practice. And you might even brighten a few women’s lives a little.

Step 2. Once you’ve gained confidence in making natural eye contact and a smile with staff, you could move onto other women in the mall. I’m not suggesting big weird freak smiles, just nice, natural friendly ones. A lot of women will smile back at you.

Step 3. Here’s where it might seem a little weird, but this really does help and practice and repetition will make this lots easier. Just say “hi” with a smile to women (and men if you like) as you walk around the mall. It will feel HORRIBLE at first if you are not confident but slowly, after an hour or two, it’ll seem easy.

How Do You Feel Now?

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3 Simple Ways To Attract More Women

Tiffany Taylor — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 23:25:54 +0000

All single men would love to attract more women, providing they’re not monks, gay or already Casanovas. I think that’s a fair statement.

So, how can a guy go about attracting more women? Here are three tips which, if followed, will definitely increase your ability to sexually attract women when you talk to them.

1. Appearances Do Matter

You’ll sometimes hear people say that as long as your personality is just right, then your looks don’t matter. These people are lying. Looks do make a difference.They either improve your overall level of attractiveness or they worsen it. Pretty simple really.

You still need a great personality to be really attractive, though (if you’re a good-looking idiot, you’ll be nowhere near as successful as a not-so-good-looking awesome guy). But, that said, making yourself look as good as possible is never a bad idea.

Forget about your physical features, because, good or bad, they aren’t going to change. Concentrate on your clothes and your hair (facial and head). You need to look trendy to your main target market (the women you’re most interested in attracting).

This might mean looking in magazines and at the mannequins in certain store windows to see what ‘works’ and what doesn’t. Don’t reject the idea of adjusting the way you dress, because first appearances are so often used as measures of the kind of guy you are.

Everyone does it. If you see a Goth, you assume certain things about them. When women see you, you want them to assume that you’re a fashionable, socially-aware guy. Show this through your clothes and your hairstyle. Develop a strong sense of identity and display it.

2. Learn the Art of Good Conversation

Good conversation with women (whom you want to attract) means four main things.

1. It is genuinely interesting and engaging

2. It is fun and addictive

3. There is no pressure

4. There is room for playfulness, teasing and flirting

Never start a conversation with a woman you want to attract on a serious note, because the first thing you talk about sets the tone for everything that comes later on. Don’t go down the obligatory routes, like, “What do you work as?” or “What kind of stuff do you like?”

You need to set the conversation off on an interesting and engaging note. Ask an unusual question which the woman will enjoy answering.

You then need to make sure you don’t fall into the ‘back-and-forth trap’, which is when you ask a question, she answers, then she asks a question and you answer, etc.

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How To Attract And Date A Woman After Meeting Her In A Nightclub Or Bar

Tiffany Taylor — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 19:15:10 +0000

It’s pretty much the classic ‘pick-up’ scenario. A guy gets talking to a girl in a nightclub or a bar and they hit it off. Their conversation is fun and flirty and at the end of it they swap phone numbers. This is what most people picture when they think of ‘picking up women’.

In reality, it is one of the most common ways for men and women to meet each other, because clubs are social venues, people are dressed their best and the drink is flowing.

Possible titles:

How To Successfully Date a Woman You Meet In a Club

Do You Know How To Successfully Attract and Date Women You Meet In a Club?

How to attract and date a woman after meeting her in a nightclub or bar (original author title)

So, if you’re a guy who goes to nightclubs and bars, you should consider the possibility of meeting and attracting a woman in one of these places as a high one.

However, it’s pretty obvious you’ll never see any success unless you make a conscious effort to approach and talk to women you’ve never met before while in one of these social environments. So, what should the process of attracting a woman go like and how can you then date the woman you’ve attracted? Let’s take a look.

1. Scoping

Before you utter your first words to a woman in a bar or nightclub, you need to scope the place out. Of course, this doesn’t mean sitting in the bushes outside the place with some binoculars. Scoping means looking around you and getting a sense of what is going on.

- How many different groups of people are there nearby that contain one or more attractive females you’d like to meet? Just a couple? Dozens?

- What does the dynamic of each of those groups seem to be like? Do they look like they’re having a good time? Are they animated or looking bored?

- Are their any guys in the groups and do those guys look like they are the boyfriends of the girls? (If so, you should obviously respect that and look elsewhere.)

You should always do some scoping before approaching to get an idea of what you’re facing. Higher energy groups will require you to exhibit higher energy levels when you enter them, for example.

Bigger groups containing lots of girls will require you to engage all or most of them when you open, otherwise one or two girls could feel like you’re distracting them from their friends. You get the idea.

2. Approaching & Opening

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The Attraction of Confidence – Why Women Are Attracted To Confident Men

Matt Savage — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:36:52 +0000

You’re standing in a bar. Across from you is a beautiful woman.

You make eye contact and smile. She smiles back and decides to come over. She gets closer and closer.

You suddenly get a tight little knot in your stomach; anxiety from not knowing what will come next. Now she is standing in front of you. Your heart is racing.

You barely manage to get out the words, "Uhhhh Hi." She says "hi" back with a look of intrigue. As she begins to speak, you begin to doubt.

You wonder what she’s thinking. How could this beautiful woman possibly be interested in me?

After a brief moment of small talk, the woman walks away. You begin to wonder, what the hell just happened?

You can’t help but feel rejected. You obsess over what could possibly be wrong with you. The next thing you know, several hours have gone by and you’re a big pile of anxiety.

What turned her off?

So what repelled this woman? It could have been any number of things. Was it your breath? Your insecure body language? Your shortened height? Your hideous disfigured face? The thing is, you will never know what drove this woman away. This is the unknown variable of attraction.

Variables of attraction

There are many variables in a person that determines whether they are attractive or not. There have been volumes written about the science of attraction. Even many of today’s top dating gurus are constantly seeking ways to decipher the process of attraction. However, with centuries of research and much discussion, there always seems to be one thing, one variable, that consistently makes a person attractive – confidence.

To be free from doubt; to have belief in yourself and your abilities. This is confidence.

Why confidence matters

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Men, Does More Muscle Really Equal More Sex?

Brad Howard — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 14:08:28 +0000

On average women find muscular men more sexually attractive.

This may seem a little obvious, but it IS scientifically proven by research. Not only that, but time and time again, social psychology research shows us that women will choose more muscular men for short term sexual partners, and have sex with them faster without a long dating period, than their non muscular counterparts.

Women will also have sex with these “types” of men without developing an emotional attraction to them first as well.

Research shows women prefer muscular men

In fact, a study published in 2007, by Frederick et al. photographed men and had random women judge the look of the muscularity and fatness of their bodies. What the researchers discovered was not only that the men who were judged to be more muscular with less body fat were deemed more attractive, but also that these same “musculed” men had more sexual partners on average than their non “musculed” rivals.

This may seem unbelievably obvious to you, but for some reason there is a notion that your “look” and the condition of your body don’t play a role in attracting women.

Despite this idea, this research is proof that the way your body looks absolutely makes a difference in the amount of sex you will have, and the amount of different, high quality women that you can have sex with.

In other words, the study shows that guys with the right ‘type’ of muscularity can have sex with more women, more often, and have more short term partners than less physically attractive men of the same age and social status (more muscle = more flings).

Point blank, if she’s looking for a hair raising blast in a sports car, and you look like a practical safe station wagon, then it doesn’t matter what you say or do, the chips may be stacked against you more than you know.

What else will you attract?

As an aside, the research by Frederick et al also shows that guys with the right muscular build ALSO have sex with more women that are currently in relationships with other men.

That’s right, according to the research, if you’ve got the right look, even married, engaged, or otherwise ‘attached’ women still want a piece of you, and many are perfectly fine with ‘cheating’ on their significant other to have a taste of what you’ve got to offer.

This effect is all dependent on having the right “ type” of muscular body. As the Frederick research also illustrated, a bodybuilder style build was not as attractive as a male body with properly proportioned muscles.

Luckily, getting the proper proportions is simply a matter of applying the number one physical attraction metric for men–The Adonis Index. With a top flight male transformation program like the Adonis Effect (which is designed to build your body into its most ideal attractive shape) while introducing a wee bit of dedication on your part in order to see astounding results.

So what are you waiting for? Lets get to the gym, and start building the body our women really want!

Getting the proper proportions is simply a matter of applying the number one physical attraction metric for men… The Adonis Index. To find out how to use the Adonis Index to generate subconscious physical attraction, visit the Adonis Effect website.

How To Be Every Woman’s ‘Type’

Brad Howard — Wed, 23 Apr 2008 14:13:07 +0000

Guys might say they have ‘types’, like blondes, or short and petite, or like women with blue eyes, or brunettes, whatever.

But I’d guess that most of you never refer to your “type” as being “excessively overweight” or “big boned with a great personality.”

Yet, this is in fact what guys settle for when they think they have no shot at something better looking.

What women really want

Likewise, 99% of all women prefer a guy with a great body – regardless of hair and eye color, or how tall or short he is. There is no such thing as an attractive women who “prefers” a guy with a big sloppy gut, or a hot woman who would really like a guy with a weak sunken chest, no muscle in his arms and skinny twigs for legs.

Rest assured these body looks are not any woman’s “type”, they are just what women settle for when they realize they can’t get their hands on a better looking guy.

Now, of course you might say that rock stars or big time Hollywood celebrities get great looking women without being in any kind of shape, and I’ll agree to an extent, but if you’ll notice most of these guys are in pretty good shape too!

The research on body shape and attraction

There is current research that shows on average:

Women with great bodies have sex with guys that have great bodies.
Women with a few extra pounds tend to end up with guys with a few extra pounds.
And women who are really big, well you can fill the blank in here.

In other words, more often than not you’re going to end up in bed with a girl who’s body is only as good as yours.

In fact, studies show that it’s rare for a guy who is completely out of shape to constantly be having sex with women that have the hottest of hot bodies.It’s much more likely that the women available to you have a body that rates about the same as yours does.

So how do I get a great body?

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How Much Of A Man Are You? Your Adonis Index Defined

Brad Howard — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 15:06:32 +0000

On your top 10 list of things that you find attractive in a woman, I’ll bet facial beauty and a nice body account for 9 of the top 10 spots…and in many cases all 10.

In fact, the vast majority of men… and that’s me included… will probably give a bit on the face if the woman has a rockin’ body.

Yet, in this same regard, how much will you compromise if the woman has the prettiest face you’ve ever seen… but she’s carrying 10, maybe 15lbs over your ideal?

Exactly.

I don’t care how pretty a woman’s face is, if it’s attached to a body more suited for a walrus, that woman is not on your radar, or any other guy that you or I know. This is the girl with the “great personality” that just so happens to be the proverbial “grenade” every night she goes out.

“Personality” never gets a woman too far if she doesn’t have the looks and the body and quite frankly, the research proves it.

So, why do you think that would be any different for guys?

There ARE differences when it comes to attraction

Well, truth be known… there ARE some differences… but they are more subtle than most guys realize.

Attracting women, and especially a hot woman with a great body requires you to know what to say, when to say it, how to move and how to act… but studies also show that being in shape helps much more than most people are giving credit for.

You can believe it or not… but the fact is… if you’re in the throws of passion with a beautiful woman and your body is built like a Greek god… she won’t be able to keep her hands off of you… period.

The truth about the way your body looks

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Learn To Approach Any Woman Without Fear Of Rejection

Joseph Matthews — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 14:13:48 +0000

Knowing how to approach women is a vital skill every man needs to know, because approaching women is the first step in creating a relationship with the girl of your dreams…

You have to know how to approach a girl in the right manner if you want to have success with your pickup.

The following are some proven tips I’d recommend you do to help you be successful in meeting women! Remember a situation where you were going to approach a girl, and before you could even get a single word out, she freaked out and simply rejected you?

Know this – getting shot down has little to do with what you were going to say or what your intentions were. It’s all about how you go about actually approaching your target. It’s important to do this right the first time, because it’s hard to recover when you make a mistake right off the bat. The key to approaching women is to approach them in a NON-THREATENING manner that does not telegraph your interest.

This is known as "coming in under the radar."

Understand: Most women have trained themselves to just REJECT men outright when they sense they are being picked up on. This is because women get hit on SO MUCH by men, they just don’t want to deal with yet another guy coming up and wasting their time.

But despite all this, the girl WILL be receptive to you if you know how to approach her in the RIGHT WAY.

So what’s the right way to approach a woman?

Act fast!

First – YOU MUST ACT FAST.

If you hesitate and let the opportunity pass you by, you’re never going to experience success. Giving yourself time to talk yourself out of approaching a girl will never get you
anywhere, so it’s important you act quickly and JUST DO IT.

Know what to say before you say it

Secondly, know what you’re going to start the conversation with BEFORE you approach the girl. This will make meeting women much easier because you don’t have to spend time
thinking of what to say before you feel comfortable walking up to meet her. When it comes to a situation like this, you should probably have a good, proven "pick up line" memorized that will help start a conversation.

But don’t confuse the term "pick up line" with sleazy saying like "Nice shoes, let’s have sex!" The goal here is to be NON-THREATENING, remember?

The best lines usually engage the girl in an innocent conversation. You can do so by asking her opinion on something and then following that up with more questions. When approaching a woman, it’s important that you approach her from an ANGLE. Most guys charge towards the girl they want to meet like they’re marching to war! Coming in at an angle is much less confrontational and will put the girl at ease on a subconscious level.

Practice, practice, practice

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7 Beliefs That Are Destroying Your Success With Women

Scott Patterson — Sat, 08 Mar 2008 19:03:08 +0000

I’m a big believer in self talk. Over the last couple of years, I’ve learned that the things we tell ourselves determine our outcomes. If you fill your mind with positive thoughts, then you’ll achieve quality results. On the other hand, when think pessimistically, you’ll end up with only negative outcomes.

There’s an expression that best sums up this outlook- “Garbage in, garbage out”

What this means is when you fill your mind with negative thoughts, you severely limit your success in life. The funny thing is we men use self-talk so much that it’s become a major part of our dating lives. We often “convince” ourselves that we’re not “worth” dating the truly desirable women.

Negative thoughts often take the form of a “Self-Limiting Belief”. The definition is simple- A self limiting belief is any sort of self-talk that limits your ability to achieve something.

It’s called “limiting”, because you literally limit your capacity to do well in life. And in the dating sense, a self-limiting belief is any thought that prevents you from succeeding with women.

In my experience, there are a number of beliefs that hold men back. In order to improve your success with women, it’s important that you identify these thoughts, then actively eliminate them.

Here are 7 of the most common self-limiting beliefs:

#1- “I want somebody to love the REAL me…”

I’m going to be honest here. Guys use this belief as an excuse to be lazy. Many secretly desire a change to their life, but don’t want to make any effort. So they think that coming up with some line about “being themselves” will somehow make them morally superior to the men who seek outside help.

The truth is, many guys require some guidance with meeting women. Don’t make an excuse about wanting a woman to love the “real you”. Instead, try to understand that life should be about constant improvement. If you want success with women, you need to get out there and find out what really attracts them.

#2- “Love will find me…Eventually”

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How to Get Over Shyness & Fear of Rejection to Get the Girl (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 14:20:33 +0000

If you’ve never had a crush on a girl or boy and have felt a little shy about asking them out – well, you’re not human.

Everyone has had their run-ins with “hard to get” guys and girls and sometimes asking them out is a heck of a lot easier said than done. If you’ve got someone special that you just can’t take your eyes off of but your lips seem glued together whenever they come around, we’ve got a few things that will make it a little less stressful for you to actually ask them out.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

There is a girl I love. But I am to shy to even talk to her and I want to ask her out but I don’t really now how.

– Georgis, Alberta

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

Don’t forget. Click here to Give this Video 5 Stars on YouTube and Subscribe to Ask Dan And Jennifer so you’ll stay up to date with our latest videos.

Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts – leave a comment below.

Recognize the Fear of Rejection and Kick It to the Curb

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5 Tips For Meeting Women That Every Man Ought To Know

Joseph Matthews — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 14:35:37 +0000

Finally! A step-by-step guide on how to meet women that makes meeting women fun and easy for any guy! I have a question…

(And you have to be honest with me here!)

Is meeting women hard for you to do? Do you feel afraid when it comes to meeting women?

And is that fear keeping you from succeeding and keeping you lonely and alone?

If so, don’t worry. I’m going to give you some incredible bits of advice you can use that will help you meet great women, and help you to take control of your love life and overcome your fear!

It’s not all about instinct

Meeting women should be a piece of cake. After all, that’s what you’re biologically programmed for, right? Nope!

Despite what you might think and what others may tell you, the fact is that us men are not born already knowing how to naturally meet and attract women. (Believe me, I wish that WAS the case, but its not, unfortunately.)

Knowing how to meet women is something you LEARN, not something you’re "born with." Just like any skill, you have to LEARN how to meet and talk to women, just like you have to learn to speak Spanish, play the guitar, and recite your A-B-C’s.

It’s a SKILL. And skills are learned, not instinctual.

No worries…help is on the way!

So if you currently don’t know how to meet women, don’t worry, there is NOTHING wrong with you! You just haven’t learned enough to make meeting women something that’s comfortable and easy yet.

Sadly, there are tons and tons of men out there who are too afraid to meet women, and because of that they stay home alone over the weekend when they should be out meeting girls.

And even worse – most of these guys will never do anything to overcome this fear.

This is due to the fact that these men don’t realize just how much their lives are controlled by this fear! And they justify this fear of going out and meeting women by thinking of all the things that could go wrong.

Some guys have such a dim view of themselves as attractive men that they think a girl they’re interested in is going to laugh at them, or dismiss them, or tell them off. Maybe she’ll throw her drink in their face, or maybe they’ll get beaten up by her boyfriend!

Never think the worst

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How To Avoid The Top 5 Mistakes Single Guys Make In Clubs

Ryan Randolph — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 15:29:57 +0000

Have you ever gone to a club, bought a bunch of overpriced drinks, then stood around only talking to your friends while thinking "Why did I come here?"

I remember a few years ago, before I learned any dating tips, I would leave bars or clubs with this frustrated feeling inside me.

I thought, "I just don’t get it, clubs are supposed to be a place to have fun and meet women. Where did I go wrong?"

I believe there are five major mistakes that guys make consistently at clubs for this to happen, I know I’ve made them. I also believe that if guys just stopped doing these five things, their success would improve automatically.

1. Only talking to people you know.

This first one is fairly obvious, yet many guys do it all the time. I remember standing there, looking around the club for beautiful women. When I’d find one, I‘d think to myself “Aha! There’s a beautiful woman” and then I would just keep talking to my friends.

If you keep talking to the same people, you’re going to get the same results. You don’t necessarily need to go talk to every beautiful woman you see, you can just start with the person standing next to you.

Just turn your body a little bit so you lean in from the side and start chatting. It doesn’t matter if it’s a couple, a group of guys, or some cute women. What does matter is that you are improving your conversational skills within the club.

If you’re not sure what to say, look around at your environment for some ideas. Is there a band or any dancers? Is anyone doing anything unusual? Just make a witty comment about the how the opposite of something is true.

For example, if a guy next to me starts taking a whole bunch of tequila shots, I could turn to him and his friends and say “I guess we all know who the designated driver is.” It’s good to say it in a slightly serious tone and without smiling, so you build a little tension.

It doesn’t matter how funny it is, it’s just a way to engage others. Do this to everyone who seems open and you will start having some fun times meeting new people.

2. Caring what others think.

So when you start talking to all different types of people in the club, you’re probably going to meet some friendly people and some not so friendly people (in my experience there are many more friendly people).

What happens if they don’t respond well to you, ignore you, or act rude?

Just move on. It’s not your job to fix other people; you don’t have control over them. The only thing you have control of is your own reaction. You can choose to care about their opinion or to not care about it.

The better you get at talking to more people, the more you will learn that it’s not about you. Some people go to the club to let go of all their frustrations from the week and combine that with alcohol and you can get all kinds of crazy emotions in the mix.

So if something isn’t working out, just realize it’s their issue and move on.

3. Ignoring the club employees.

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How To Embrace Your Inner Geek And Still Get The Girl! (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 09 Jan 2008 15:51:19 +0000

Do nice guys always finish last?

Well, that depends on the nice guy.

What if you’re a total geek, have absolutely no social skills, no self confidence, and no idea where to start with girls?

Can you still get the girl?

We think so, if you’re willing to follow a few simple guidelines…

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I am a total geek. Yes, the guy who sits in a computer store drooling, or beating a video game, or basically destroying people on the front in Dungeons and Dragons…

It’s very demoralizing to know that all your good at is blasting people online.

How can a guy like me have good confidence when I know I’m the ultimate geek?

I really need your help on this.

– Carl, Colorado

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

Don’t forget. Click here to Give this Video 5 Stars on YouTube and Subscribe to Ask Dan And Jennifer so you’ll stay up to date with our latest videos.

Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts – leave a comment below.

How To Embrace Your Inner Geek And Still Get The Girl!

Perception Is Everything

If you don’t feel confident or portray confidence, no one else is going to pay attention to you. So what you have to do is supercharge your own inner confidence.

Perception is everything. You have to work on how people perceive you, how you look and how you carry yourself.

Before anyone else can accept you, you have to accept yourself for exactly who you are today. No one else has the right to judge you or to tell you that you’re anything less than perfect.

It’s time to embrace what you call your "geekiness".

Strengthen Your Inner Confidence

The secret to being a good salesman is to believe in the product you are selling. And when you are dating, that product is you…

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5 Ways to Avoid Striking Out This Friday Night

David Wygant — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 15:28:24 +0000

Are You Tired of Striking Out Night After Night?

Most guys think that women like ‘bad’ boys so they try to portray this image and simply end up looking like a jerk. What a woman really wants is a man who will keep her interest, has great confidence, who is not afraid to stand out, and is not afraid to disagree with the status quo – A guy who is comfortable in his own skin…

Here’s a great article on approaching women from David Wygant, one of today’s most popular and successful dating coaches. David is not a ‘pick up artist’, but a real dating coach who offers good solid advice that actually works. In this article, he talks about some of the biggest mistakes that almost all men make when approaching women and how you can avoid them and actually capture her attention and create a real spark.

Most men think that they need a clever line to approach a woman, which in some cases may garner a reaction. But through all my years of coaching men and women I have found that it is not what you say that’s important, but how you approach.

Most women put more importance on visual clues to assess a man’s character. They don’t care what you say as long as you say it without hesitation and with authority. Unfortunately, most men don’t know this, so they walk over and approach a woman like a wounded animal expecting to be rejected.

When you approach like a wounded animal you will be rejected every single time no matter how clever of a line or remark you may have. Sound familiar?

With eighty percent of human interaction based on non-verbal body language, what is a man to do?

The key to impressing her right off the bat is you need to be different than all other men that are approaching her that evening in the bar or lounge. It is really competitive at night, and most women will start to lose interest in men after a few jerks have hit on them, so you need to learn to use a few of these tips to make you stand out from the crowd of drunk testosterone-laden men.

Here a few sure-fire ways to make your approach more powerful and convincing even if you are not sure what you are going to say:

1. When you see a woman that you are attracted to you need to walk right over.

Stand up straight and walk over slowly but with confidence. Make sure your chest is puffed out and your posture is looking strong and not slumped over. You need to keep eye contact as you approach so you do not spook her. You also need to walk directly over to her without any hesitation.

With practice, you will get comfortable doing this. Most men linger in the background like a scared animal for a period of time before they approach. When they finally do approach, the woman is quick to turn her back on him. The reason is he did not exude confidence.

Most women notice who is observing them. When you do not approach within seconds of spotting her you might as well go home and get your game on for another night or day.

2. When out on the town, avoid being seen with the drunken testosterone pack of males.

One of the biggest turn-offs for women is the “male pack” — you with five of your buddies high-fiving each other, drinking and checking out other women. Yes, women make note of this childlike behavior and when you approach them with your buddies waiting on the sideline they will impulsively reject you in front of the pack to avoid being scrutinized later. You need to break away from the male pack and find one other guy who is like you to go out on the town with.

Save the male bonding and excessive testosterone for a sports bar.

Turn Fantasies into Reality with Sexy Lingerie

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 28 Jul 2007 16:22:43 +0000

The female body is a thing of beauty, and nudity can be very satisfying. But full nudity is rarely involved in true seduction. The fine art of teasing with what is just out of view is always a favorite technique employed by the most sought after sexy ladies.

Lingerie and sexy costumes are proven and effective tools used in the art of seduction. And as we all know, there are hundreds of online lingerie stores that all look pretty much the same…

But, occasionally we find a website that’s worth mentioning and Vicki’s Drawers is one of those… It’s a lingerie store, but not just a lingerie store. Vicki also provides her customers with great advice and a personal shopper service.

What is a personal shopper? It’s someone who knows the trend, styles, and more importantly someone who knows what will look good on your specific body type. Your personal shopper can save you hours of time and help you avoid the frustration of picking something out, only to find out that it looked really great on the rack but not on you. Just give Vicki a call or send her an email. She’ll shop for you and send you pictures of suggestions that you may like.

Vicki tells a tale of how she played dress-up in her grandmother’s closet as a child and dreamed of the woman she would become some far-away day and have all those feminine lace-and-satin things of her very own. It was these memories that planted the seed of owning her own lingerie shop. That dream has come true, online for now, but eventually Vicki hopes to own a physical lingerie shop.

Oh, and did we mention that she operates Vicki’s Drawers with her guy.

Together we searched for the perfect items to encourage women of all body types to fantasize about just how their own lovely, womanly curves will complete them, how the fabric will feel on their skin, and how their own lovers will react at the first sight of them, returning the gaze, expectant and blushing with desire.

So what do you dream and fantasize about? Really. When no one else is around… That you’re a goddess who is worshiped and adored by your lover? Or perhaps a wicked seductress claiming any lover she desires?

Stop living your fantasies only in your head. Regardless of your fantasy, Vicki will help you select the perfect lingerie to turn your fantasy into reality.