You’re alone and lonely, you miss the closeness, you miss being touched and desired, and you may think a FWB (Friends with Benefits) relationship is just what you need.

But have you considered all of the consequences it brings with it?

Imagine a friend approaches you and suggests the two of you embark on a friends with benefits relationship.  If you are attracted to your friend or have wished that your friendship was something more than just a friendship, you might think you have nothing to lose.  You run through all the pros in your mind. Regular sex, intimacy, spending time with someone you like. Hmmm, those sound pretty good!  What the heck? Why not?

Setting the ground rules

One of the first things that usually happens is a discussion of the ground rules.  You may decide that while you are sleeping together you won’t sleep with anyone else.  That if either you meets someone with ‘relationship potential,’ you’re free to walk away without any hassles.  You discuss the fact that it’s not a relationship.  No romantic feelings should be involved.  It’s just about the sex.  Or is it?

Those pesky hormones

The problem is, especially it seems for women, that feelings do develop.  Biology gets involved releasing hormones, such as oxytocin, that make us form an attachment when, in reality, none exists. 

It’s almost certain to happen.  She imagines she feels more than she really does. And this, my friends, is how you end up getting hurt.

If you already have some feelings for your friend, you may go into these FWB relationships thinking that he’ll develop feelings for you. 

Guess what? It isn’t going to happen.  If he was going to develop feelings for you, he more than likely already would have. 

Men do not have the same biology issue that women have.  He is totally able to have his cake and eat it too without any pesky old feelings getting in the way.  He’ll say good bye, forget about you until next week when he gets horny again and that will be that.  He isn’t going to fall in love with you just because he starts sleeping with you.

Single white female seeking nothing

…

Related articles:

1. How Do I Tell My Best Friend I Want to Be More Than Friends? (Video)
2. Here’s How to Make the Transition from Friends to More Than Friends a Little Easier
3. 7 Ways To Tell If Your Friends Are True
4. Aaaahh! Why Does She Want to Be ‘Just Friends’? (Video)
5. Friends? Lovers? Pick One! – The One That Got Away… (Video)

But what if it starts growing into more than just sex with friends – or friends with benefits?

What if your husband or wife starts developing romantic (a.k.a. love) feelings for your playmates?

Dare we call it polyamory?
 

"Polyamory is the practice of having more than one loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved. The relationships are long-term, intimate, and usually (but not necessarily) sexual. Persons who consider themselves emotionally suited to such relationships may define themselves as polyamorous, often abbreviated to poly."
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory

"Swinging, sometimes referred to in North America as the swinging lifestyle, is non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple.  Swinging has been called wife swapping in the past, but this term is archaic and does not accurately describe the full range of sexual activities in which swingers may take part."

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swinging

And what happens when the jealousy beast rears it’s ugly head. Admittedly swingers (and certainly those into polyamory) are not nearly as apt to fits of jealousy as some monogamous couples, but it’s been known to happen…

What happens when one partner wants a polyamorous relationship and the other one doesn’t? Is it wrong to want one without the other?

No, it’s absolutely not wrong. What you want is what you want. What you feel and what you want is what’s right for you and for your life. Period.

The swinging lifestyle is typically about sex!

You get together, you play, and then you go home. That’s kind of what it’s about. But Polyamory takes it to a new level and, what I would consider, a much more enlightened level where you are actually in love relationships with multiple partners. It’s a true and total sharing of one another and not many couples (or individuals) are able to do that.

It all comes down to communication.

It’s critical to ask your partner how they feel and to share your feelings. The absolute worst thing that you can do is to hold your feelings inside – what you really want – because you’re afraid your partner may not understand. You have to talk about what you both want from the relationship and what boundaries you’re comfortable with. And in some circumstances, you may find out that you want different things. If this is the case, you’ll have to decide if you are willing to compromise or go your separate ways. 

Jealousy

The biggest reason why many people feel uncomfortable in a Swinging or Polyamorous relationship is "jealousy". It’s one of the biggest emotional issues that all couples face. And when you start bringing other people into your bedroom, you simply cannot let jealousy sneak into the picture because it will tear your relationship apart.

So you have to find ways to make each other feel really special and absolutely certain about where you stand in your own relationship before sharing intimate fun with others.

That’s the biggest thing in the end. Talk! Share your feelings!

Oh, and if you think swinging or polyamory are a rare occurrence in our society, think again!

Check out this survey that over 4,000 of our readers took – Sex Poll: Would You Consider Swinging or Polyamory? The results will certainly surprise you. 

Related articles:

1. Swinging vs Polyamory – Can You REALLY Have One Without the Other? (Video)
2. Shocking Sex Poll Results – The Surprising Verdict on Swinging and Polyamory!
3. Sex Poll: Would You Consider Swinging or Threesomes?
4. Swinger Swap Gone Wrong! Can We Recover? (Video)
5. My Best Friend’s a Swinger – Will She Burn in Hell?