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Q&A: Help! I Like This Girl But She Has A Boyfriend (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 14:00:13 +0000

When you like someone and they’re already involved with someone else, your first instinct may be to simply let it go. But what if they’re giving you signals that they like you too, and you really would like to date them? Can you “steal” them away from their current relationship or should you still let it be and move on?

Question: I know this girl who I really like and I think she likes me too. She gives me these signs like laughing at everything I say, complementing me on my clothes, and smiling charmingly at me – but she only does it with me. Here’s the problem – she has a boyfriend and he treats her like shit. She’s like a pet to him, but I’m not the kind of guy who steals a girlfriend. I really like this girl though. What do I do?

–YouTube Viewer

Click here to view the embedded video.

Make Sure You’re Reading The Signals Correctly

One of the biggest misunderstandings between men and women is interpreting flirting and friendliness the wrong way. If you like someone, you may be all too eager to assume their polite smiles and friendly conversation means that they like you as more than friends. If someone who is already in a relationship is giving you these signals, make sure you’re interpreting them correctly before you make any kind of move. Make sure you’re not stuck in the “friend zone” and she’s not just using you to vent about her current relationship.

Relationships Aren’t Ownership

When we’re involved with someone, whether we’re dating or married, we tend to put these labels on our significant others as though we “own” them. Human beings can’t be “owned” by anyone though – we are free to spend our time with who we choose. If someone is in a relationship but wants to hang out with someone else and have a good time, they are perfectly within their right to do so. You are also free to spend time with them as well, regardless of their current relationship attachments. Although we are free to spend time with who we want at our own discretion, there can be consequences to those actions. Their partner may choose to end the relationship if they’re uncomfortable with the situation and they are, of course, free to do so as well. But remember that no one can “own” or “control” anyone else and force them not to spend time with someone or to stay in a relationship.

Follow Your Heart

When it comes to dating and relationships, it’s important that you follow your heart and you allow the person you’re interested in to do so as well. All may end well with a new, happier relationship but there is also the possibility that the other person’s heart leads them to stay in their current relationship for one reason or another. The most important thing here is to be true to yourself, and communicate your feelings honestly with the other person without being critical of them or their current relationship. What happens after that is anyone’s guess, but being true to yourself is an incredible feeling regardless of what happens later.

Q&A: I’ve Confessed My Love – Now What? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 14:00:39 +0000

You’ve confessed your love to a girl, and now she’s run for the hills. What do you do? Did you come on too strongly, or is she giving you mixed signals? Dating comes with lots of questions and very few answers, but here’s what you can do when a girl you like starts giving you the slip.

Question: A few weeks ago, me and a good friend of mine setup to have a date. I have some affection towards her and I thought she felt the same way. Two days before our date, I confessed my love to her. On the day of the date, I called her up to see if she still wants to go; she didn’t pick up. Then the next day I called her to see if she still wants to go out today and she said “I don’t think that is a good idea.” So I get the idea and drop it. We still talk once in a while now, but not as much and intimate as before. But then last week, I asked her out to dinner and she came. I’m confused, what should I do?

–YouTube Viewer

Click here to view the embedded video.

Labeling The Relationship

Often, people who are dating are too quick to put a label on the “relationship” they have, and want to know where they stand when it comes to being with someone. This goes for both guys and girls though – it’s a common belief that women do this more than men, but it’s actually about equal between the sexes. Unfortunately, when one person in the relationship is pressing to define it, the other person gets scared and starts moving away emotionally. It doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t want to spend time with you or don’t like you, but it may mean that they just want to go slowly and let the relationship go where it needs to on its own.

Backtracking

If you’ve confessed your love to someone and they start giving you the slip, you may think you’ll never repair the damage that was done. That could be true, but not always. The thing to do now is to back off and let them take the lead. Don’t start calling all the time or continue to try to get them to go out with you. They may like you, but they may just need some time to air out. Take a few steps back and let them call you. Be polite and friendly when you see them, but let them make the moves. If you do want to ask them out, suggest going to a casual lunch or bowling. Whatever you do, make sure they don’t feel pressured in any way and they just might come around.

Letting A Relationship Develop On Its Own

When you start dating, it can be tempting to move along quite quickly, especially if you feel like you’re ready to settle down. Instead, try letting the relationship develop on its own. Don’t ask your partner where you stand or try to define the relationship, because often, it’s always changing. Just focus on enjoying being with the person you’re with and let the relationship move along at its own pace. Getting to stop and enjoy all stages of a budding relationship is like stopping and smelling the flowers - totally worth it.

Q&A: I Like This Girl But She Can’t Date – Ideas? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 15:51:32 +0000

Dating, especially when you’re young and a teenager, can be frustrating and intimidating. With parental rules and restrictions, it can be hard to find someone you like, let alone try to get to spend time with them and get to know them. What can you do when your parents don’t let you date?

Question: Hi, I really like this girl and she likes me. The only problem is her parents won’t let her date or hang out with guys. It’s a secret between the two of us that we like each other so hanging in a group might not work. Any ideas?

–YouTube Viewer

Click here to view the embedded video.

Keeping It A Secret

Many teens are tempted to keep their romance with someone else a secret. They don’t want parents to find out they’re dating, so they hide the fact that they like each other from everyone. Keeping your romance a secret from everyone is a great way to make sure you really don’t get to spend very much time with the person that you like. Many parents allow teens to hang out together in a group, and that would allow you to spend more time with your partner instead of trying – usually unsuccessfully – to get some alone time. If your romance is a secret from your parents as well as your friends, consider letting your friends know so you can all hang out together as a group. Chances are, they’ll even let you sneak in a few minutes of quiet time with your partner here and there.

Don’t Get Stressed About Time

Teens whose parents don’t approve of dating can get easily frustrated at the amount of time that they get to spend with their partners. There’s really no reason to get stressed about it though, because dating in your teens is supposed to be fun, not super serious! A big reason for teenage breakups is the arguments that are caused by not getting enough time to spend with each other – not necessarily the lack of time itself. Relax and learn to enjoy the time you do get to spend with the person you like, instead of constantly stressing about how you’re not getting enough. You’ll find that instead of arguing with each other about how to get more time together, you’re actually spending time together and enjoying each other’s company – which of course, makes it all worthwhile!

You’ll Get More Time In The Future

As a relationship builds and you grow older, you and your partner are going to get more privileges. You may even get some dating privileges too! The best way to get dating privileges though is to keep your grades up, keep your room clean and pick up after yourself and generally prove to your parents that you are a responsible individual. They may not concede in a week, but if over time you prove to them that you are responsible enough to handle dating – and that it won’t interfere with school, sports or other extra-curricular activities – they might be willing to give you a little bit of leeway in that area. The same goes for your partner.

Q&A: I’m Still Friends With My Ex But It’s Awkward (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 21:00:21 +0000

Breaking up is hard – but dealing with your ex afterwards can be even more difficult. During the awkward time after a breakup, it’s hard to tell if you should try to stay friends with your ex or cut off all communication completely. Here’s how to handle the situation if you want to try to stay friends with your ex.

Question: I have been out of a relationship now for 3-4 months and am over my ex – but I somehow I feel I owe something to her and should build a friendship again. I still feel awkward talking to her even though it’s small talk – any tips?

–YouTube Viewer

Click here to view the embedded video.

It’s Always Awkward

If you’ve just broken up with someone or have just been broken up with, the period directly following the breakup is always awkward. If you’re feeling as though things are strained between you and your ex and it just doesn’t feel right, join the club! Most people feel strange after a breakup, especially if they’re often around their ex. For example, if you and your ex work together or share many of the same friends, coming into constant contact with each other after the breakup can be just plain weird. It’s totally normal to feel awkward after a breakup and it can take some time for you and your partner to reach a totally platonic state.

You Don’t Owe Your Ex Anything

Many people leave a relationship feeling like they owe their ex something, especially if they’re the ones that did the breaking up. Even people who leave a relationship in the best possible way can feel bad about hurting the other person. Here’s the thing – you don’t owe your ex anything. Each person reserves the right to end a relationship if they feel it’s not working out in their best interests. It’s kind of like at will employment. Either party can terminate the relationship at any time for any reason of their choosing. Your ex may be hurt after the breakup, and things may be awkward, but don’t hold it against yourself. Staying with a person that you’re not happy with just because you don’t want to hurt them never works out. You deserve to be happy, so learn to let it go.

Time Heals Most Wounds

Even though the relationship with your ex is awkward now, time heals just about anything. You may feel pressured to have small talk with your ex now, or to try to force a friendship but it may be that you and your ex just aren’t ready for that yet. After a break up, most people need some time to think and process what happened in the relationship. If a friendship just isn’t there for you and your ex yet, time may be what you need to get there. Give yourself – and your ex – some time and space to sort out what happened. If you or your ex are very emotional after the break up – for example, if you two were in a long term relationship – you will each need some time to sort through how you feel about the break up. Just relax and let time do its thing.

Is Phone Dating Better Than Online Dating Or Facebook? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 21:00:51 +0000

Finding a date these days isn’t as easy as walking into a bar or cafe and checking someone out – in fact, it’s easier and you can do it from your own home! Many dating outlets exist today, including online dating, Facebook and phone dating. What is the best way to find a date – online or on the phone?

Click here to view the embedded video.

The Benefits Of Phone Dating

There are many benefits of phone dating, some of them similar to online or Facebook dating. With phone dating, you can meet people and talk to them in real time, without ever leaving the comfort of your own home. It’s a great way for people who are shy or people who don’t like traditional dating to meet and get to know other people. With phone dating, you don’t have a long profile to fill out or questions to answer about yourself like you do with online dating. You don’t even have to upload a photo, so you can get to know others without them judging you first based on how you look. Also, phone dating is great for people who aren’t computer savvy or who simply don’t want to be on the computer.

Protecting Your Privacy

Phone dating is a great way to protect your privacy and identity while getting to know potential dates. Phone dating services such as Livelinks connects you to other people through their phone system, so your phone number stays completely anonymous. Even online dating or Facebook does not afford as much privacy as phone dating can, and for many people, staying completely anonymous is essential. Although you are anonymous during phone dating, it is much more personal than a simple email or comment left on an online dating profile or a Facebook page. Never underestimate the power of talking to someone one on one and having a real, honest conversation with them. With phone dating, you can really get a feel for people in a way that you can’t with dating over the Internet.

Making It Work

Phone dating, like online dating or Facebook dating, can be a great start to a relationship or friendship, but it is not going to keep a relationship afloat without the intimacy of meeting someone face to face. To make phone dating really work, you have to be open to arranging to meet someone you’re interested in after having a few great conversations with them. Remember to always meet in a public place, preferably during the day or at least in a well lit area if you’re going in the evening, and make sure you let a friend or someone else know where you’re going. Phone dating is a wonderful way to meet someone great, but it’s important to take steps to keep yourself safe just in case. If you’ve never used a phone dating service to meet someone, try it for free – it might be just what you need to give your dating life the boost you’ve been looking for!

Try Livelinks Chatline for free at 1.866.984.2428

Q&A: She Thinks I’m Gay! How Do I Ask Her Out? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 21 Feb 2010 22:00:33 +0000

Asking a girl out is intimidating, but it can be even scarier if your crush thinks you’re gay! Did you do something to make her think that you’re gay? If you did, how can you reverse it? Is she just not interested in you, or does she really think you’re into guys instead of girls? How can you ask her out and prove to her that you’re not gay?

Question: I need help because I like this girl, so I asked my friends how to approach her about going out and they told me to just go up to her and be nice. I did exactly that but I think I must have been too nice and friendly because now she thinks I’m gay. How do I prove that I’m not to her and show her how I feel?

–YouTube Viewer

Click here to view the embedded video.

How She’s Using The Term “Gay”

While most people are beginning to realize that using the word “gay” as slander – like using the word “retarded” as slander – is just not appropriate, some people still loosely use the term “gay” in conversation and it has nothing to do with sexuality. Many people still use the word “gay” like they might use the word “lame” or “uncool,” in regular conversation. If your crush said that she thinks you’re gay, can you be sure that she meant homosexual? She may not have. Consider the possibility that she’s just not into you and used the term “gay” as slander.

Making A Choice

In this situation, you have a decision to make. You can either ask her out or let it go. If you let it go, you’ll never know what she really meant. But by letting it go, you can avoid any further hurt feelings. You can also choose to simply ask her out. It’s entirely possible that she’ll say no – whether she truly believes you’re homosexual or just thinks you’re lame – but you’ll never know for sure unless you ask her out. She may really believe that you are gay, and may be pleasantly surprised to find out that you aren’t. However, if she turns you down for whatever reason, it’s ok. Continue dating and move on to the next girl that catches your eye and do your best to make a good impression on her. Regardless of the possible outcome and how much each one may intimidate you, it’s important not to sit on making a decision and never choose to either ask her out or let it go. Waiting too long to make a decision because you’re too scared to choose isn’t going to get you anywhere!

Making The Best Impression

When you want to make the best impression on a girl, it’s important to be yourself and let your true personality shine through. Not everyone may like it, and some people might think you’re gay, straight, bisexual or make some other assumption about you, you will feel much better in the long run if you’ve stayed true to yourself. You’ll also end up finding a partner who is into the real y0u, and not somebody you’re pretending to be!

How To Pick Up A Beautiful Woman: Eradicating Self-Limiting Beliefs

W. Wilcox — Sat, 13 Dec 2008 14:38:39 +0000

What dictates how successful a person can become in any given field? Is it chance, fortune, good luck? No.

Take an athlete for example, regardless of their chosen discipline, they must WORK at becoming the best. Even if they got lucky with their genes, have a good build or quick reactions, it is absolutely vital they learn, understand and PRACTICE whatever sport it is they want to master.

If they don’t, they will never be number one, or even anywhere close. The very same principle applies to attracting and seducing women, quite simply, the looks or assets you were or weren’t blessed with naturally mean nothing if you cannot master the psychological side of the game.

It’s NOT About Looks

For example, there’s a guy who looks like Brad Pitt’s better looking long-lost brother, his body, hair and dress-sense are all flawless. But, when he opens his mouth…nothing.

His attitude, personality and character fall completely flat and instantly put off every woman in the room. He’s gone from being a mysterious, handsome stranger, to an unexciting and tedious guy, who’s good for nothing except looking at and admiring, which gets very boring, very fast.

Now, the reverse. There’s a guy who doesn’t immediately stand out of the crowd because of what he looks or dresses like or because of the car he’s just rolled up in. Women are fairly neutral towards him, they neither feel attracted to him or turned off. Then, he talks and it’s like a fire has been lit, he’s fun, charming and great to be around. In short, massively attractive.

Being the Better Guy

If you want to be that first guy, I don’t know what to suggest, except perhaps painful, expensive surgery. But if you’d rather resemble the second man (as any sane guy would), you need to do something a little different. You need to eradicate self-limiting beliefs.

Self-limiting beliefs are the internal thoughts and feelings that hold you back and restrict your ability to succeed. They’re irrational and counter-productive thoughts that everyone has, but very few people try to get rid of, which is why so few men are truly successful with women. Here are a couple of examples of self-limiting beliefs:

1. “Nah, she’s too good-looking. She wouldn’t be interested in a guy like me.”

2. “Women can sense inexperience and won’t give a guy the time of day if they think he’s not sophisticated or experienced.”

3. “Girls only want sex with strings attached and would never consider sleeping with me unless I have money or a powerful job.”

4. “That girl’s way too popular. Just look at the guys who are already all over her. She’s rejecting them so would definitely say no to me.”

The Truth About Self-Limiting Beliefs

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How To Approach Groups Of Girls You Don’t Know, And Get Them To Think You’re Great!

Tiffany Taylor — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 19:08:49 +0000

If you’re wondering how to approach girls in a group and get them to think you’re wonderful, keep reading. For this example I’m going to use women at a bar. I will be going into lots of other techniques for non-bar pickups too but for now, we’ll stick with this.

(Note: In fact, I even recommend you try my top places for picking up that are not bars. They are WAAAAAAAY better than ANY bar and you’ll see a massive leap in your success rates with women.)

As you know, women don’t usually go to bars on their own. They go in groups.

Approaching Groups of Women Can Be Scary!

Approaching GROUPS of women can be extremely daunting and if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can fail BADLY with groups and like a pack of wolves they can rip you apart. I’ve seen men get cussed at, totally ignored and even drinks poured over them.

But if you do the approach RIGHT, then your success with a group of women can usually yield great results.

Whenever I suggest approaching groups of women I get LOADS of guys looking at me as though I’m from another planet. I realize that lots of guys probably don’t have the initial confidence to simply walk up to beautiful women they don’t know. Don’t worry, this can be easily solved. I’ll give you some simple tips here.

SIDE NOTE: If you have a major confidence problem then don’t worry, I have an advanced 155-page E-book called HypnoDate which almost exclusively goes into increasing your confidence with women – and it works through the power of self-reprogramming so it doesn’t matter how shy you are, this thing WILL work for you. But guess what – it’s a bonus product that comes with my book at no extra cost.

Increasing Confidence Exercise In The Mall

Step 1. Walk around the shopping mall and when you catch a woman’s eye, smile at her. More often than not, she’ll smile back. To start with you can do this just with shop employees. Even if they don’t WANT to smile, they probably will. Good practice. And you might even brighten a few women’s lives a little.

Step 2. Once you’ve gained confidence in making natural eye contact and a smile with staff, you could move onto other women in the mall. I’m not suggesting big weird freak smiles, just nice, natural friendly ones. A lot of women will smile back at you.

Step 3. Here’s where it might seem a little weird, but this really does help and practice and repetition will make this lots easier. Just say “hi” with a smile to women (and men if you like) as you walk around the mall. It will feel HORRIBLE at first if you are not confident but slowly, after an hour or two, it’ll seem easy.

How Do You Feel Now?

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I Dated My Friend and It Didn’t Work Out… How Do We Get Our Friendship Back? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 29 Nov 2008 19:53:38 +0000

You’ve moved out of the friend zone and into a relationship with your best friend or another friend of yours. Sadly, it doesn’t work out for one reason or another, but you want your friend back!

Fortunately, you’re not alone in this awkward situation. What will it take to get your friend back? Can you?

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How Mature Are You And Your Friend?

Moving from the friend zone into a relationship is something that happens all the time. A great number of people do this, and a number of them move back into friend status after the relationship has run its course, regardless of whether the relationship was a week long, a month long or even a few years long.

What’s their secret? How do they do this with seemingly no effort at all?

It depends on how mature the two people in the relationship are. If you and your partner are very mature, you’ll be able to better handle moving from the friend zone to a relationship and back to the friend zone again.

If you and your partner aren’t at a high level of maturity at the point in your relationship where you want to be friends again, you might find it difficult to do so without hurt feelings, resentment and awkwardness experienced by one or both parties.

What can you do?…

Get Rejected? Use It To Your Advantage When Picking Up Women…

W. Wilcox — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 19:12:01 +0000

Most men aren’t skillful or successful when it comes to meeting and dating women.

There are two main reasons for this: they don’t get out there and sell themselves, meet women and make connections. And when, once in every blue moon, they do try it on with a girl, they fall flat on their faces, not knowing how to handle the situation, the conversation, the interaction and attraction.

There’s a single word that ties these two reasons for failure together, it’s rejection.

Men who would love to meet and date a beautiful girl or two choose not to go out and actually try to make it happen, on the most part, because of a deep-seated fear of rejection.

They hate the idea that they might get shot down and embarrassed. And they know that if they try their hardest and STILL get rejected, they definitely have no hope with women, now or ever.

So, they prefer to stay at home with the vague ambition that one day they might make something happen. On the other hand, there are men out there that do try to meet and get together with girls and, unfortunately, they get rejected every now and then.

Once it’s happened a couple of times, those brush-offs take their toll on the guy: his confidence dwindles, his sense of humor begins to fade, and most noticeably, his motivation vanishes.

He becomes like 80% of the rest of the male population: a dreamer and not a do’er.

Recognize the Positive

The first thing you need to do is recognize the POSITIVE function rejection serves. You need to define it in your mind. What is it and what does it mean? Rejection often comes in the following forms:

1. You’ve been talking to a girl for a while and things seem to be going well but when you ask to see her again or suggest swapping numbers she suddenly freezes up on you and shuts you out.

2. You try to get talking to a girl but she only gives you the minimal amount of recognition possible and doesn’t allow you to start a real conversation.

3. You’ve been on a couple of dates with a girl but have yet to take it further. When you try to progress the relationship, she clams up and becomes distant and seemingly uninterested.

Whatever type of rejection you’ve experience or fear the most, you need to fully recognize what it is. It’s a sign that one or more components of your game, that is, your ability to be successful with women, isn’t functioning correctly.

It’s like a flashing red light in a submarine, it’s telling you something ain’t right and, most importantly, that you need to DO something to fix it. That’s the key point most men consistently miss.

Rejection Is Not Necessarily a Bad Thing

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What To Do When He Doesn’t Call After Your First Date… What Happened? (Video)

Victorya Rogers — Mon, 20 Oct 2008 13:30:39 +0000

Almost every woman has been on a first date where the man didn’t call back afterwards, even if he said he would.It can be frustrating and even embarrassing, but it’s really very normal.

As a woman who hasn’t been called by your date, especially if you’re really interested in the guy, what can you do?

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Going On With Your Life

If you’ve been on a first date with a really great guy and everything seemed to work out great, you might wonder whey he’s not calling you back. It’s important that you don’t obsess about it! Let it go and move on with your life.

You might think that it’s a lost opportunity or you might wonder what it was about you that he didn’t like, and you might be tempted to call him and find out why. Don’t! There are several reasons why he might not have called.

He might have lost your number – really. If he did and he really did like you, he’ll find a way to track you down. He might have had some kind of crisis, or he might be transitioning out of a relationship to make room for you in his life.

Or he might not have liked you. Whatever his reasons are for not calling back, you’re going to have to accept them even if you don’t know exactly what they are. If you call back, asking why he didn’t call, you’re definitely going to look like a psycho stalker woman. Just be cool, calm and collected about it and move on with your life, even going on dates with other men.

The Second Chance

If you didn’t like the guy all that much and he doesn’t call back, it’s really no big deal. If you did, however, really enjoy the time you spent with him, it’s a little more difficult to deal with if he doesn’t call back. You might get a second chance though!

Never Ask Why!

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Online Dating: 6 Reasons She Doesn’t Email You Back

Dylan Alexander — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 19:47:17 +0000

So you find a fantastic girl online, fire off an email to her, and sit back and wait… and wait… and wait. Despite checking your inbox every 15 minutes for 2 days straight, there is no sign of a reply at all.

This is not an uncommon scenario for men, who never stop to think about the woman’s side of the equation… why doesn’t she email back?

The good news is that there are 6 common reasons that she doesn’t reply. Some are simple fixes, others are a little more difficult to overcome. Here they are:

Problem 1 – You didn’t get her attention

Good looking women get A LOT of emails every day… super hot women on busy sites can easily get over a hundred a day! That’s some serious competition! If you don’t get her attention fast, you’ll be forgotten instantly as she moves on to the next guy without even giving a thought to replying to you.

So how do you get her attention? That’s a little more complex. For starters: be interesting, insightful, interested in her, and funny as hell!

This doesn’t apply just to “hot” women… even “average” women require you to get their attention in order to get a reply. They’ve all been pursued by a lot of “average” guys on the internet, and you need to stand out in order to have a chance.

Problem 2 – She thinks you are shallow

Women get a lot of guys looking for one night stands. This is pretty common and they put up a lot of defenses to help them automatically disqualify any guy who appears to be interested in them for the wrong reasons.

Very attractive women know that most guys are just contacting them because they are hot. As much as it’s an ego boost for them, simply knowing you think they are hot doesn’t actually give them any real reason to write you back.

So, in order not to throw up her red flags:

Don’t ask her for sexy photos.
Don’t kiss her butt and tell her how hot she is over and over.
Don’t ask her how much she weighs or what her body type is.
Don’t immediately ask for full body photos.

Yes, you will want full body photos before you go on a date (and she will expect the same from you), just don’t be over the top about it.

Problem 3 – Your photos suck

It doesn’t matter how great your email is, if your picture makes you look terrible, you aren’t getting a response! Period!

Before you start worrying about your gut or thinning hair, let me give you some good news… it’s usually not you, it’s your photo. No matter what you look like, a great photo will attract women to at least take a closer look, and even open your profile. And no matter how good looking you may be, a bad photo won’t even get her attention.

If you don’t have a photo that makes you look great and stands out from all the poor quality photos out there, it’s time to get one. Find a friend with a good camera and go snap some headshots outside, in a nice location, with soft natural light. Or better yet, get an amateur photographer off craigslist.org to do them for free for the practice. It will make a huge difference!

And of course… if you don’t attach either your photos (or a link to your photos) in your email, it might not even get read.

Problem 4 – You were crass, rude, or sexual

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How To Meet Women? Get Out Of Your Comfort Zone!

Brad Howard — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 13:35:13 +0000

Are you finding it to be tough to get started in a new venture? Are you working out enough or have you put it off completely?

Are you afraid to walk up to a beautiful woman and start a conversation with her because you’re afraid of being rejected?

Are you alone?

As I’ve discussed time and time again, the mind only truly reacts to either intense pleasure or intense pain. Feeling one of these two emotions will get you to make a change in your life instantly.

Are you in a comfort zone?

Think about it. Are you in a "comfort zone"?

Have you thought about making some changes but life is too comfortable right now?

Are you one of those people that would rather look back and say, "I KNOW I could have done it… but I just didn’t…"?

I see this phenomenon in many instances but the most prevalent revolve around relationships and personal growth. How many people do you know that are in stale relationships but won’t move on because of the comfort level? How many have talked about new business ventures or making more money only to stave off because of the comfortable life they have at the moment.

Remember, growth only occurs when our mental boundaries expand.

Get uncomfortable!

If something you haven’t done makes you a little uncomfortable (not scares the heck out of you), just think about the positive impact on life the new thing brings to you. Try to push yourself each day.

Try to conquer, yes conquer, something new everyday.

Visualize it!

The easiest way to accomplish this is through visualization (and that’s a whole other article in itself)

What are some of your personal hot buttons? What is the worst thing that could possibly happen to you?

Let’s suppose that being “a loser” is high on your totem pole of worst possible things. If you want to lose weight, just say to yourself when you need an extra push, “Only LOSERS are overweight. I am not a loser; therefore, I’ll go to the gym today.”

Or… "Only LOSERS are afraid of talking to women… I’m not a loser; therefore, I’m gonna go talk to her."

Of course, this represents a generic example. Other examples could be instances where you’ve seen something very disturbing (like a ruined heart on TV). You can then use that to “influence” you. You obviously don’t want your heart to look like that, do you?

Using positive experiences

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How To Ask A Shy Girl Out On A Date… (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 15:44:30 +0000

Nothing can be more intimidating than asking out a girl you’ve had a crush on or have known since forever. The thought of telling this amazing woman that you really like her and having her snub you sends shivers down the spine, especially if she’s shy.

It doesn’t matter how popular or confident you are, when it comes to that special girl it’s hard to find the right words. You don’t want to put her off, but what is the right thing to do?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m a good looking, popular guy and have no trouble asking girls out – except for this one girl I’ve had a crush on since the eight grade… I walk away from a conversation with her thinking "What the heck did I just say" – I sound like a dumb jock! My Question: How do you ask out a shy girl, that you are desperately head over heals in love with? Ask her friends? Just walk up to her?

–YouTube)

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There is no right way

The honest answer is there is no right thing to do. No one knows what another person will say or do. What you can’t do though, is simply let your fear hold you back from taking the leap of faith and opening yourself up to her. Sure, she might say no, which is her discretion. It’s pretty much guaranteed though, that if you just stand back and do nothing you will regret it for the rest of your life.

To start, you shouldn’t just go up and lay it on her that you’ve been in love with her forever and you desperately want to be with her. That is a bit much to lay on someone and might even scare her a little bit. The most important thing is to just be honest with her. Start small, like asking her out on a date not as friends but as a couple. Try flirting more and don’t hide away from her by pretending you don’t like her.

You have to let her know you like her or you’ll be forever stuck in the friend zone, the terrible place where relationships never grow and nothing ever changes. You should have the courage to tell her directly because it’s going to mean a whole lot more if it comes straight from you.

You can make it happen

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How You Can Turn Hesitation and Fear Into Positive Dating Experiences

Matt Savage — Fri, 01 Aug 2008 12:34:15 +0000

You are sitting next to the phone, staring a small scrap of paper in your hand. There is the name of the beautiful woman you met last night and scrawled just below it are ten digits, her phone number.

You’re sweating. Your throat is tightening. Your heart beats faster and faster. You pick up the phone and begin dialing. This is it. It’s make or break time.

You finger grazes over the last number on the dial pad and suddenly, in a fit of nervousness, you hang up. A wave of guilt rushes through your head. You begin to rationalize your cowardice.

"Tomorrow…yea, I’ll wait to call tomorrow. She’s probably busy and it’s too soon to call anyways," you say to yourself.

Ten days later…

You are walking out the door and happen to glance at a small scrap of paper sitting on the top of your burrow. It’s sitting there collecting dust.

"I should have called her sooner," you think, "She probably won’t even remember who I am. Well, it’s too late now."

You let out a heavy sigh, pick up the scrap of paper and toss it in the trash can.

Procrastinating in your dating life?

Has this situation ever happened to you? Have you ever been in a moment where you procrastinated in your dating life? Have you ever lost the person of your dreams because you were too nervous to make a move? Unfortunately, this hesitation is all too common, particularly for those of us that are still new to the dating scene.

Despite what Hollywood has taught us, there is never going to be that perfect magical moment. You will never have that special love scene, where you swoop into each others arms and ride off into the sunset. Life isn’t like that and you shouldn’t wait for it.

Less than perfect dating experiences

The truth is that your dating experiences will be less than perfect. It’ll be scary. It’ll be clumsy. And it’ll be awkward. That’s the way it is and you can’t think that you can avoid these things. Better yet, you should learn to embrace them. Rather than running away, work with what you have in the moment.

So how do you avoid the hesitation and take matters into your own hands? Easy. You just keep pushing through the fear barrier and use whatever is at your disposal.

If all you have is a squeaky voice and a stomach full of butterflies, then go with it. Even if it means failure. Because if you don’t at least try, you’ll never know what would’ve happened.

You are not James Bond, with all kinds of fancy gadgets and perfect timing at your disposal. No, you are MacGyver. All you have is this little crappy Swiss Army knife and a roll of Duct tape. The clock is ticking and you either use the materials you have with you or you fail. That’s just the way it is, accept it and live it.

"Hi, this is MacGyver. We all know how these things work, so when you hear the beep, go for it." – MacGyver’s answering machine

To learn more about Matt Savage, visit www.TheModernSavage.com.

Are You Setting Yourself Up For Heartache With Unrealistic Dating Expectations?

Lisa Quirke — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 12:28:21 +0000

The thing about dating expectations is that sometimes, even when you don’t really have any, they can reach right around and bite you right in the butt.

It can be hard to keep expectations at a realistic level and that’s not even the half of it.

Why? Because there’s another person involved with expectations all their own.

Even at its simplest level, dating is full of expectations. From expecting the phone to ring to expecting an email to having high (or low) expectations for a date, they seem to invade our thoughts at every turn.

Even when we try to keep them at a realistic level, we have no control over the other party’s expectations. And that can be difficult especially if you don’t know what those expectations are.

Motives for dating

People date for all kinds of reasons. Some date to find a lifetime partner; others because they’re bored. Some people see it as a sort of social skills practice; others figure that by dating so many people they’ll eventually find the one they’re looking for. Some are dating to get laid. Still others are too polite to say NO even if they really aren’t feeling it.

Setting ourselves up with unrealistic expectations

This can easily set us up to have unrealistic expectations in dating. For example, if you are dating to find a lifetime partner and the great guy you’ve gone out with 3 or 4 times is into dating as a numbers game, you may very well have your expectations of the relationship set way too high.

Or what about the girl who keeps accepting a date with a guy she really has no interest in because she doesn’t know how to tell him NO? Is he in for a surprise or what? Sure, he is. He thinks she likes him when the reality is she’s probably only interested in him as a friend. His expectations are sure to be shattered.

How to avoid unrealistic expectations

There are a couple of ways to keep your dating expectations realistic and keep yourself grounded in reality.

Know what you want

The first thing you have to do is know what you want. Why are you dating? You have to know what you’re looking for.

If you are dating to find a lifetime partner, you’re going to want to date people who are looking for the same thing. If you’re dating several people hoping to find the right one, you darn sure don’t want to keep going out with someone looking for a lifetime partner. That’s how things get awkward and people get hurt.

Communication is the key

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The Attraction of Confidence – Why Women Are Attracted To Confident Men

Matt Savage — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:36:52 +0000

You’re standing in a bar. Across from you is a beautiful woman.

You make eye contact and smile. She smiles back and decides to come over. She gets closer and closer.

You suddenly get a tight little knot in your stomach; anxiety from not knowing what will come next. Now she is standing in front of you. Your heart is racing.

You barely manage to get out the words, "Uhhhh Hi." She says "hi" back with a look of intrigue. As she begins to speak, you begin to doubt.

You wonder what she’s thinking. How could this beautiful woman possibly be interested in me?

After a brief moment of small talk, the woman walks away. You begin to wonder, what the hell just happened?

You can’t help but feel rejected. You obsess over what could possibly be wrong with you. The next thing you know, several hours have gone by and you’re a big pile of anxiety.

What turned her off?

So what repelled this woman? It could have been any number of things. Was it your breath? Your insecure body language? Your shortened height? Your hideous disfigured face? The thing is, you will never know what drove this woman away. This is the unknown variable of attraction.

Variables of attraction

There are many variables in a person that determines whether they are attractive or not. There have been volumes written about the science of attraction. Even many of today’s top dating gurus are constantly seeking ways to decipher the process of attraction. However, with centuries of research and much discussion, there always seems to be one thing, one variable, that consistently makes a person attractive – confidence.

To be free from doubt; to have belief in yourself and your abilities. This is confidence.

Why confidence matters

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How To Know If She’s Straight (and interested in you…), Bisexual, or Lesbian? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 14:22:35 +0000

When you’re in a club, or another place where lots of people get together to hang out and possibly meet dates, you can sometimes find yourself overwhelmed.

If you’re there looking for a date, it can sometimes be hard to figure out if a girl likes you, or is even interested in you. For all you know, she could be gay or bisexual.

If you’re at a strip club, it can be even harder to figure out if the stripper herself is interested in going out with you or not. How can you tell?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m very good when it comes to knowing someone’s strengths and weakness, at work, playing sports, habits, tendencies and what not. But when it comes to meeting women it’s a different story. Like if I went to club.

How do I know which women are straight, bisexual, lesbian? What are some of the signs?

Women walking around in a club and you see them pass by several times, is it their way of checking you out?

And what are your thoughts on dating strippers? Is there away I can incorporate scouting into meeting women?

- Brian, Okla.

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Getting To Know A Girl’s Body Language

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Can You Win the Approval of the ‘Dating Board’?

Jason Likert — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 15:23:29 +0000

Dating, divorced or not, can be as nerve wracking as a tough job interview. You never know the questions but at least you know what you should get quizzed on. You’ve fielded all of the queries from your new interest but it’s time to move on to what I like to call "The Board Room."

What Is The Dating Board Room?

The Board Room isn’t a physical place. It’s the culmination of several different people who are going to interview you and present their findings to your lady. This interview process can take days, weeks or even months, depending on who is part of the board room. It always occurs, even if you don’t know it. This is where you may here "You’re fired!"

Who Is On The Board?

The board can consist of several different men and women who have the interests of your lady in mind. Most women have at least two confidantes; a "best" girlfriend and a close male "GuyFriend." Other members of the board normally will include at least one or two other friends of either gender and close family, like her mother and dad.

The Girlfriend

You have to sell yourself to this woman. Not only is she the closest person to your lady, your lady is probably her best friend. Early in the relationship The Girlfriend is probably the most important person to not insult, cajole or arouse suspicion in. Her word will be what seals the deal. If she doesn’t like you there’s not much hope for your new relationship.

The "GuyFriend"

The GuyFriend can be a tough sell. Put yourself in his shoes. Here’s a close female friend of his who is dating this new guy (you). You’re competing for part of his turf and she will listen to the GuyFriend to determine if you’re a huge creep. Guys tend to read guys rather well. If you’re obviously a fraud, the GuyFriend will spot you easily.

Mom and Dad

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6 Simple Ways To Let Your Date Know You’re Interested

David Wygant — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 13:12:37 +0000

Have you ever been out on a date with someone who you really liked, but you weren’t sure exactly how to let them know that you really like them and are interested in them?

It can be hard to know how to express yourself around someone whom you don’t know very well yet.

There are LOTS of ways to let a date know you’re interested in them. You could, for instance, immediately start kissing them and have a long session of “sucking face” . . . but you don’t want to do that. While it will certainly convey your interest, it will also give them the wrong impression of you.

Clearly, then, there are better and worse ways to convey your interest to a date (with the above example being one of the “worst” options). So let’s look at some more realistic (and better!) ways that you can let your date know that you are interested.

Here are 6 great ways you can let your date know you’re interested in them

1. Lean in directly toward your date when they are talking to you.

Body language plays a huge role in what you communicate to others. This is especially true on a date, where the person you’re with will be paying a lot of attention to your body language.

So, when you’re on a date with someone who interests you, you need to let them know it with your body language. One of the best ways is to lean in towards your date. Lean in and smile. When you are leaning in, look at them directly in their eyes, so that they know you are interested in them.

2. Smile or laugh a bit when your date says something funny.

While we all know it is important to listen to what your date is saying during a conversation, it is equally important to react to things that your date says that resonate with you. For instance, when your date is saying something funny, contribute to that part of the conversation. Keep the conversation rolling when it’s on something funny and don’t change the subject.

3. When your date says something that intrigues you, comment on it.

When your date starts talking about a topic that is in an area of interest of yours, respond with questions and get more involved in that topic. Say, for instance you feel really passionate about an upcoming election and your date says “Well, I really don’t think I’m going to bother voting.” You can respond with something like “Wait a second. Why are considering not voting?”

Then let the conversation flow from there. Asking questions when a date says something relating to an area of interest of yours is a great way both to get into deeper conversation with your date while also showing them you are interested in what they’re saying.

4. Challenge them a little bit.

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