Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

I love rough, hard sex.  I like to have it all the time!  Is this just a fetish or is there something wrong with me?

 

–Alyssa, New Jersey

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What Goes On Behind Closed Doors?

What goes on in your bedroom – or living room or kitchen, for that matter – is your business as long as it is between two consenting adults and isn’t harming anyone. Most of the time sex – even the rough, hard kind – falls into this category but occasionally it doesn’t.

Make a mental checklist of what is going on between you and your partner when you have rough sex. Are both parties consenting adults? Is either party being hurt in some way? Usually, this is where some types of rough, hard sex cross the line.

Some people enjoy being hurt, but it’s important to look at the extent of it to decide how much is too much. Strangulation and asphyxiation are especially dangerous, as are things that would require either partner to seek a doctor’s attention afterwards.

If you like rough, hard sex, just make sure you’re being safe.

Is It A Fetish?

Typically, a fetish is an obsession with a single thing – such as shoes or bondage – but that doesn’t mean a liking for rough, hard sex is excluded. If you enjoy rough sex all the time, so much so that you avoid having any other type of sex, you might have a bit of a fetish.

That’s okay – as long as you’re not truly hurting someone or involving someone that doesn’t want to be involved. If your partner really enjoys rough sex and you do too, it can be a great way to connect in the bedroom.

If your partner enjoys rough, hard sex and you typically do not, that’s when it may cross the line.

Open Communication….

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