Ask Dan and Jennifer » how to have great sex

How To Turn Your Sex Life From Good To Great!

Lee Jenkins, author Female Orgasm Black Book — Sat, 14 Mar 2009 19:16:10 +0000

Toe-curling, mind-blowing, earth shattering – can you use these phrases to describe your sex life? For a couple who is just starting out in a relationship, the sexual chemistry should still be sizzling hot during the first few months that you have been together. But over time, the familiarity that you have with each other may lead your sex life to become routine, stale – or in other words, boring – and nobody wants to have that!

So if you want to convert your sex life from being good to great, you need to exert some effort in order to keep the fire burning.

Discover New Places to Have Sex

If the only thing that you see when you get naked is the four walls of your bedroom, then you’re not being adventurous enough when it comes to the places that you’re having sex. Sure, there’s the typical getting it on in your shower, bathtub or at the back of your car – but there are some other, newer venues that you can use to ramp up your sex life.

For example, check out all the other rooms in your house and see where else you could have sex. Surprise your husband or boyfriend by making a delectable ‘feast’ out of him while you’re sneaking in the kitchen to have some midnight snack.

The stairs, the roomy coat closet, the garage – these little nooks and crannies in your house are great quick sex setting potentials. And the possibility of someone finding you out adds to the steamy sexual exploration.
If you haven’t already done so, you can surprise your significant other by making a random visit at his office to bring over some lunch – and a short but steamy booty call at his desk, computer chair or even on the floor.

On his exercise bench, in the great outdoors, on a moving train, on the golf course or the hood of a car – just let your imagination run wild and you’ll surely come up with inventive places where you can have great sex!

More Tips on How You can Have Great Sex

Now that you’ve already been oriented on how you can up the ante in your sex life by discovering new places where you can get it on, what other things should you remember so that your sessions in the sack can be sizzling hot once again? Here are a few tips worth remembering:

1. Always live in the present

If they feel that their partners are not satisfied with their sex lives anymore, men usually have a performance anxiety. Was it good for her? Will I come too soon? Did she just fake having an orgasm so that my ego won’t get hurt?

If you obsess over these details even before you have sex and all you’re thinking about is pursuing an orgasm, the results will be pretty bad. Live in the moment, forget about your sex-oriented goals and just allow things to steam up and great sex will happen.

2. Live out your sexual fantasies

One of the best ways to vamp up your sessions in the sack with your significant other is by living out your sexual fantasies. Not only will you both have a novel experience when you live out your deepest, darkest sexual fantasies, but it provides additional benefits as well.

First, putting yourself literally in another person’s shoes – whether it’s a nurse, a prissy schoolteacher or a French maid – will allow you to let go of your inhibitions. Second, sexual fantasies will connect you and your lover on a deeper, more intimate level.

3. Take a cue from porn stars

Now, this isn’t about imitating the body bending tricks that adult stars use while having exaggerated sex in their movies – although it’s recommended that you try them out from time to time.

The cue that you should take from them is their enthusiasm about getting it on. The way that they’re having guilt-free sex and how they’re not conscious about their bodies at all is exactly the attitude that you should take in your own bedroom. This way, you can take charge of your own sex life and turn it from being ‘blah’ to earth shattering.

Take just a minute to check out ‘The Female Orgasm Black Book’: “How To Give Her Mind Numbing, Leg Shaking Orgasms”

What Is Great Sex?

David Wygant — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 19:41:05 +0000

What is it about sex (besides that it’s fun and amazing) that makes it great? I mean, what is great sex to you?

All of us have different versions of great sex, each with different emotions that are conveyed during sex. Some people like dirty talk. Some people like romantic talk.

Connecting With Your Partner

I’ve got to tell you that to me, though, great sex is when you connect with somebody on all levels – emotionally, mentally and physically. Great sex is also when you feel so at ease with each other’s minds, bodies, and souls that you are able to explore each other totally and everything feels great. Really great sex involves both the anticipation of what’s happening in the moment and what’s going to happen next.

What is so interesting to me about the concept of great sex, is that in my lifetime I want to be able to continuously get to new levels with people. I don’t want the same sex forever. I don’t want the same type of relationships forever.

As I go through the cycles of life and the cycles of relationships, I get to know myself better and better over time. What that means is that I am going to be able to give more of myself when the right person comes into my life.

When it comes down to sex, I don’t want to experience the same thing over and over again. I want to feel things I’ve never felt before, and I want to experience a connection that’s deeper, more erotic and more passionate that I’ve ever had previously.

I don’t want the same, because nothing in life should ever be the same. Life should be about getting to new levels, getting deeper with you and getting deeper with your partner.

What Do You Like During Sex?

Some people say they like to kiss during sex. Have you ever kissed somebody during sex, though, where your mouths are so hungry for each other that as you kiss you feel like your whole body is connected from head to toe?

I’m talking about the kind of kiss that is so deep, so passionate and so hungry, that as you’re moving together the kiss is a truly bonding thing. It’s like your souls are so hungry to taste one another, that you just can’t control yourselves.

What is great sex for you? I know for me, it’s everything I’ve just been listing. I know what I want. What I want is the most incredible connection I can possibly feel.

Have you ever had sex with someone and after only the first few times, you can’t believe it’s only been a few times because you feel (in a really good way) like you’ve been having sex with them forever? You feel like you’ve been having sex with them forever because you immediately started learning each other’s bodies and really letting go, and you’re so comfortable with them that you feel like you’ve been connected with their soul and their body forever. At the same time you also know that there are so many other places you want to go with them.

Truly Great Sex….

How to Have 74% More Sex with your Partner

Jeannie Ruesch — Sat, 31 Jan 2009 13:48:34 +0000

What if I told you that reading romance novels meant more sex? Psychology Today revealed in a 2006 study that women who read romance novels have sex 74% more often with their partners than those who don’t. Seventy four percent. Caught your attention?

What Is It About Romance Novels?

Now, your first reaction is probably the same as anyone’s – of course it has to be the sex scenes. After all, romance novels are just porn for women, aren’t they? However, there is a strong distinction between pornography and romance, and that distinction is the difference in what arouses a man versus what arouses a woman.

No one understands this better than a publisher of romantic fiction. Women are the primary readers of romance, and as editor-in-chief of The Wild Rose Press, Rhonda Penders has to know how to give women what they want. “Men are very visual,” says Penders. “Women, however, need the physical part but we also need more than that. We need the emotional attachment; we need to feel there’s something else there. That’s not to say women don’t and can’t get aroused by watching an x-rated movie, certainly that happens as well, but we can read a love scene or an emotionally tugging scene and feel that pull of desire and that need to be close to someone we love in a sexual way.”

The Difference Between Men And Women

This is a defining point between arousal for a man and a woman. Men can be aroused simply by a naked woman, but the idea of a chick flick won’t do much. And while the visual of a naked man might earn a naughty thought from many women, it won’t do much else by itself. If you add that man as part of a fantasy—perhaps a hero from a “chick flick” or a romance novel or simply a daydream in a woman’s mind—suddenly he has the ability to kick up a woman’s proverbial heels.

Dr. Donald Symons, an evolutionary psychologist at UC Santa Barbara, found that women’s sexual fantasies focused not just on touching, but on feelings: the woman’s physical and emotional responses, her partner’s feelings, and the mood and ambience of the experience weighed in with equal importance. With romance stories that blend right into the fantasies many women daydream about—rekindling an old love, falling in love with a stranger, adversarial relationships turning romantic and many more—a woman can be that heroine while she reads.

Getting In The Mood

For most women, mental or emotional stimulation is crucial to “getting in the mood” and especially for today’s multi-tasking, busy woman, it’s often the most difficult to achieve. Too many things weigh on our minds, from family and children to career worries and everything in between. A romance novel provides a way for a woman to safely step outside of her everyday role, to set the world aside and live the fantasy of an intimate, romantic relationship for a few hours.

Is sex included? Absolutely. It’s a healthy part of any relationship, and the level of description in sex scenes can range from sweet to erotic. But the fantasy also includes the emotional roller-coaster. It’s the entire experience, from that first meeting to the intimate sex to the happy ending, that spur the feelings of intimacy most women need to crave sex. And in fact, you can break it down to the way a woman’s body actually responds to that happy stimulation. Phenylethylamine (PEA) is a natural chemical our bodies produce and PEA levels in your body react to sexual thoughts and feelings. Scientifically put, romance novels help spark those thoughts.

It’s All About The Chemicals….

Why Couples Don’t Have Great Sex…

Lee Jenkins, author Female Orgasm Black Book — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 12:20:38 +0000

Sex (especially great sex) is an important piece of a successful romantic relationship. If you’re having amazing sex already, this probably won’t apply to you. But if you’re experience lack-luster sex on a regular basis, I suggest you read on.

Do you know why the majority of couples do not have great sex?

It simply boils down to one mistake.

The number one mistake couples make in the bedroom is…simply not knowing what to do.

That’s right, “Ignorance”.

And let me tell you…

Ignorance is NOT bliss in the bedroom!

What Wise Men Have To Say

Don’t think female orgasm ignorance can harm you? Well, consider the following quotes:

“Ignorance, the root and the stem of every evil.”
– Plato (427 BC – 347 BC)

Cheating can be a result of ignorance on how to give women orgasms.

“It is worse still to be ignorant of your ignorance.”
– Saint Jerome (374 AD – 419 AD)

If you don’t know that you lack the knowledge to give women orgasms, then how can you fix it? Also, she might be faking orgasms on you.

“Ignorance and inconsideration are the two great causes of the ruin of mankind.”
– John Tillotson (1630 – 1694)

…and the ruin of a relationship.

What Sexual Ignorance Means To You

…

3-Before-Me: A Proven Guideline For Great Sex

Lee Jenkins, author Female Orgasm Black Book — Thu, 15 May 2008 14:40:19 +0000

Have you ever heard of the “3-Before-Me” rule?

Simply put, it means that you do whatever it takes to make your woman experience an orgasm 3 times before you even allow her to start pleasuring you.

Now, just the thought of this may tire you out but we’re not really talking about orgasms during intercourse here. We mean the following (and in this sequence):

Clitoral orgasm
G-spot orgasm
Blended orgasm

It’s best to bring your woman to a clitoral orgasm first for the simple reason that the clitoris is easiest to stimulate and will be most responsive to your ‘attentions’ at the start of making love. Furthermore, a clitoral orgasm prepares her physically for that all-elusive G-spot orgasm.

A G-spot orgasm will give your partner a different kind of sensation compared to a clitoral orgasm. Many women claim that it’s ‘deeper’ and more ‘body-rocking’ than clitoral orgasms.

After a G-spot orgasm, it’s time for blended orgasms, which is that magic combination of a clitoral orgasm and a G-spot orgasm.

Why the “3-Before-Me” Rule Rocks!

Now you may be wondering, “Why give her 3 orgasms first before I even have 1?”

Well, there are plenty of reasons supporting this and trust me, it will benefit you as well.

Did you know that about 70-75% of women do NOT reach an orgasm during sexual intercourse?

Imagine the frustration this brings! So with the “3-Before-Me” rule, you’re actually physically setting her up for a vaginal orgasm. And even if she doesn’t reach an orgasm at this stage, IT’S OK.

After all, she already reached her climax 3 times before right? So no sexual frustration on her part anymore even if she doesn’t have an orgasm during intercourse.

Be the Sex God You’ve Always Wanted To Be

As mentioned above, a great percentage of women do not reach an orgasm during sexual intercourse, yet few men go out of their way to ensure that they’re sexually satisfied in bed. If you practice the “3-Before-Me” rule, she’ll be talking her head off to all her friends that she’s found THE man that can really fulfill her in bed!

It Doesn’t Matter If You Can’t Last Long In Bed

With the 3-Before-Me rule, it doesn’t matter if you can’t last long during sex. Some men get so excited in bed that they tend to come just a little bit sooner than what their partners would like. However, if you pleasure her first, do you think she’ll notice how soon you come during intercourse? I bet she won’t!

The 3-Before-Me Makes Sex Better

Since you’ve gone out of your way to pleasure her and bring her to orgasm three times, can you imagine what she will do to YOU to show her gratitude? Many men claim that sex is definitely better after they pleasure their women first.

Keep in mind that “3-Before-Me” is really more a guide than a rule. It’s not written in stone so don’t feel that you’re doing something wrong if you don’t make her experience a female orgasm 3 times all the time.

What you must remember is this: please her first and you’re in for a rocking time in bed!

Take just a minute to check out ‘The Female Orgasm Black Book’: “How To Give Her Mind Numbing, Leg Shaking Orgasms”