As a teen you’re probably wondering about sex and what you can do to stay safe. Curiosity about sex is normal and it’s something that every teen goes through. It must be said that the only form of safe sex is abstinence. Even though this is the only foolproof way to stay safe, there are countermeasures that you can take to keep you and your partner free of STD’s or unwanted pregnancy. Here are a few ways that you can stay safe with your partner.

Use Condoms

Condoms are a necessity with teen sex. Not only condoms prevent pregnancy, it can prevent the transmission of STDs found in the seminal and vaginal fluids. Teens are notorious for misusing condoms or simply “pulling out.” When a condom is used properly, the chance of preventing pregnancy is about 97%. When used with lubrication, the condom is more unlikely to break. Don’t use household items like latex gloves, plastic wrap or balloons. Condoms are specifically made for the shape a penis and designed to stay on. Never use a condom twice.

Have Enough Lubrication

Lubrication is essential to giving the condom as little resistance as possible. If you’re considering having sex, make sure that you have a bottle of lube with you. Lube is relatively inexpensive and will cost about the same as a box of condoms. Don’t be fooled into thinking that lubricated condoms will be enough. Yes, the condoms come lubricated, but they can also get dried out of they have been in a drawer or in a car for as little as a week.

Where Can I Buy Condoms And Lube?

Teens primarily don’t want to go into a store to buy condoms and lube for fear of seeing somebody that they know. If you’re afraid of buying condoms and lube from a store, you can go to a Planned Parenthood or another health clinic and get them for free. These organizations are around to inform teens about sex and prevent unwanted pregnancy. Teen sex is on the rise and every teen has a responsibility to be informed of staying safe.

Consider Getting On The Pill

The pill is a good way to protect against pregnancy, but it does nothing for sexually transmitted diseases. If you are on the pill then you have taken the first step against getting pregnant. Now it’s important to know that you can still contract STI’s and STD’s. Make sure that your partner is wearing a condom every time that the two of you have sex. If you are considering the pill, there are a few things that you should know. The pill can affect different people different ways. It’s important to talk to your physician before you go on the pill Ask them how the pill they are putting you has affected other teens. Try to get on a pill that will keep your skin clear. Several of them will do this.

Are You Ready?

We’ve all read about teen sex, but ask yourself if you’re really ready to do it. If don’t know, ask yourself why you want to. Are you doing it to please a boyfriend? Do you really care about your boyfriend and you’re ready to take it further? Remember that as a teenager you will have hormones racing through your body and lust can easily misconstrued for love. Do not give into pressure from a boyfriend to have sex. This can ruin your first time and the first time should be special.

Make Sure It’s Legal

Teen sex is not something that usually ends up as front-page news, but there are laws against having sex with a minor. If you are under the age of consent in your state and your boyfriend is over the age of consent, you need to look up the legal ramifications for having sex. Your boyfriend could go to jail if you get caught. Remember this before you commit to anything.

It’s Okay To Say No

Saying no doesn’t mean that you’re a tease, it just means that you’re not ready. If you’re being pressured by your boyfriend to have sex and you don’t want to, you should tell him no. A lot of girls get pressured into sex with the fear that if they don’t do it, their boyfriends will leave them. If your boyfriend really cares about you then he will want you to be ready when it happens. If he doesn’t care about then he might break up with you.

Abstinence Is An Excellent Option

Abstinence is a choice that many girls make. This is very respectable and can improve the lives of women who choose to keep their virginity until marriage. Choosing abstinence is way of ensuring that you will complete school with a having a child and get into the work force quickly. This can also be a way to see if your boyfriend really loves you and if he’s willing to wait before the two of you have sex.

Related Posts

1. Oral Sex: Why YOU Need To Think About Safer Fellatio!
2. Q&A: 5 Ways To Make Condoms More Sexy
3. Should You Have Sex Before Age 18?
4. Q&A: How Old Do You Have To Be To Buy Condoms
5. Q&A: Personal Question For Dan And Jennifer

Find Your Partner’s “Hidden” Zones

I call these “hidden” zones because many people don’t realize, or forget, that these areas of the body LOVE attention. While many of these zones are obvious, like the lips, breasts, inner thighs and genitals, there are also areas that, when stroked, caressed and kissed, can drive your partner wild and even intensify their orgasm.

Believe it or not, the ears, neck, arms and hair are all really sensitive areas that love to be stimulated. Spend some time during foreplay caressing and touching these areas, and watch how it pleases your partner.

Set A Romantic Mood

People often think that using candles, music, incense and even rose petals to set the mood of your lovemaking is too “cliché.” Are they kidding?!? Your partner will LOVE YOU for this. Just imagine how happy you would feel if someone went to all the trouble to create a special lovemaking occasion that you can cherish for years to come. Could this be so “cliché” because people enjoy it so much? Point made.

Give Them A Sensual Massage

Why stop at setting the mood? Go one step further and give your partner an erotic massage that makes them feel relaxed and loved at the same time. Make it sexy, sensual, and pleasurable.

Massage them naked or build up the anticipation by having them slowly undress during the massage. Then kiss, caress and slowly transition “under the sheets” where a massage of another kind can take place. And no, you don’t need years of study to give a great massage. Just grab some candles and music, and bless your partner with an experience they’ll never forget.

Please Your Partner With More Oral Sex

Did you know that oral sex is a great way to strengthen your relationship? Think about it. It takes a lot of trust and comfort to let somebody have their mouth down there. Not to mention it’s great for men who want to relax without pressure to perform, and for women who can’t reach orgasm from only intercourse. In short, it’s an important part of foreplay. Here are some tips for both men and women.

LADIES: Women often start fellatio by sucking on the penis straight away when, actually, they should start with some playful teasing and soft touches. This will lead to a much more powerful orgasm as it heightens his anticipation.

GENTLEMAN: A mistake men often make is moving their tongue in a thrusting fashion, when stimulating the vagina and clitoris orally. Instead, they should lick it like an ice cream cone. Another great tip to keep things exciting is to write the alphabet around the clitoris with your tongue.

Constantly Explore And Try New Things

If I could only give you one piece of advice for better lovemaking, it would be this: become adventurous and creative.

Nothing is stopping you from red-hot passion except your level of creativity. Try new sex positions, do it somewhere new, or spice up your foreplay with a game. Let’s face it, the basic act of lovemaking, no matter how hard you try, is always kiss and thrust, but it’s HOW you do it and the way you make your partner feel that really counts.

By dedicating time to finding new things, you can turn ordinary lovemaking into extraordinary lovemaking. This is the sure-fire way to make sure your lovemaking stays passionate, pleasurable, and intimate for years to come.

Related Posts

1. 7 Tips For More Pleasurable and Passionate Lovemaking
2. Sex Tips: 4 Lovemaking Mistakes You MUST Avoid!
3. 7 Lovemaking Mistakes That Couples Make And How To Avoid Them
4. 5 Tips To Please Your Man In Bed
5. 3 Ways To Intensify Your Orgasms and Intimacy During Lovemaking

Inexperience Is Okay

Doing it for the first time means that you’re inexperienced – and that’s okay. You don’t have to know everything there is to know on how to please the opposite gender before you ever have sex, and no one expects you to. You’re going to fumble around a little bit and be a little unsure of exactly what you’re doing. This is perfectly normal! The most important thing is to laugh it off and move on.

What makes someone great in bed and able to give their partner an orgasm again and again is time, practice and trial and error. No guy or girl ever got it completely right the first time, but learn from your mistakes and let them help you get better at making love. Repeating the same mistakes over and over isn’t a good thing – but making a mistake and learning from it and using it to help make you a better lover is!

Relax and remember to have fun. Your first time may be awkward, but it’s your first time and that’s okay. You’re never going to have another chance at doing it for the first time, so enjoy it for what it is. Enjoy the discovery process!

Get A Sex Buddy

Your first time is meant to be special, and saving it for that special someone is a great way to make sure that it’s memorable and fun. However, as the second, third and fourth times roll around, you may want to consider finding yourself a “sex buddy,” or a friend that you can be intimate with so you can learn the ropes. Make sure you choose a friend that you’re completely comfortable with!

The benefits of having a “sex buddy” is that you can practice things like oral sex or giving a blowjob without having to worry about someone judging your skills in the sack or embarrassing yourself in front of someone you want to have a relationship with (or at least want to have really hot relations with). Having a friend like this will allow you to practice and practice some more until you really get the hang of things. That way, when you meet someone super special, you’ll have had at least a little experience in that department and you can be more confident in the bedroom.

Safe Sex

Of course, with any partner, safe sex is of the utmost importance. Using a condom will not only help protect against unwanted pregnancy, it will also help protect against most sexually transmitted diseases. You may think that getting busy for the first time (especially if you and your partner are both virgins) means that you don’t have to worry about protection, but that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

Unless you and your partner have had a clear STD test and haven’t had any new partners since the test (and are monogamous with each other), a condom is necessary to protect yourself and your partner. It’s also a great way to keep from getting pregnant without the side effects of some birth controls. Remember that safe sex is always in style!

Being Emotionally Mature Enough For Sex

Before hopping in the sack for the first time, make sure that you’re emotionally and physically mature enough to do it. Rushing into it because you think you’re ready or because someone is pressuring you to do it are the wrong reasons for losing your virginity. Make sure you’re with someone you’re comfortable with and not someone who you will regret your first time being with later. Don’t be afraid to take it slow and really make sure it’s something you’re ready for before you actually do it.

Remember that you can’t re-do losing your virginity and if you rush through it just to get it over with, you may end up regretting it. If you’re not ready, that’s okay too! Never let anyone tell you when you’re ready or when you’re not, because only you can make that decision for yourself. If you want to wait, that’s okay and if you’re ready, that’s okay too!

Related Posts

1. First Time Sex Tips – 5 Signs You’re Emotionally Ready for Sex
2. First Time Sex Tips – 3 Important Health Concerns
3. First Time Sex Tips – How To Lose Your Virginity In Style
4. Female Orgasm Tips – 5 Powerful Ways to Make Sure She Gets Thigh-Quivering Orgasms (Every Time!)
5. Sex Poll – Is It OK to Have Sex During That Time of the Month?

Kegel Exercises

Sure, you’ve heard of kegel exercises. Sit down (or stand up if you like – in fact, kegels can be done anywhere and anytime) clench your vaginal muscles as though you were stopping the flow of urine, hold for ten seconds or more and release. Repeat ad nauseam. Kegels are a very powerful way to tighten your vaginal and pelvic floor muscles, however, they’re not the only thing you can use and definitely not the best way to make your vagina feel like brand new again. For centuries, women have been using one secret sex toy to keep their vaginas tight and fit for sex and now you can too!

Ben Wa Balls

Ben Wa Balls are small, weighted balls that are inserted into your vagina and kept there for a period of time. You will naturally use all of your vaginal, anal and pelvic floor muscles to keep them inside your vaginal canal. This will completely and thoroughly exercise your muscles without you consciously having to do very much at all! There are so many different types of Ben Wa Balls available on the market and the best thing is that absolutely no one will know that you’re using them! For first time Ben Wa Ball users, start with lighter weight ones that have a string attached to them. You can get them in soft silicone or even the vibrating variety for extra pleasure! As you become a more advanced user, you can graduate to heavier balls, such as metal or glass balls, which will exercise your muscles more and more. Just like when exercising any muscle in your body, you need to start off small and build your way up to heavier equipment.

How To Get The Ultimate Tight Vagina

In addition to using Ben Wa Balls to tighten and improve the muscle tone in your vaginal walls, you can also use tightening and vaginal rejuvanation cream (such as PK24) to increase blood flow to your vagina and hydrate your vaginal walls. Creams and gels used for tightening aren’t long lasting, however, PK24 can last up to 24 hours. Other tightening products work for shorter periods, but can also be used right before sex to create even tighter sensations. Using Ben Wa Balls and tightening creams not only make sex better for your partner, but they will also make sex better for you! Women who use tightening creams and Ben Wa Balls regularly report having better, more powerful orgasms and that they’re able to reach orgasm more quickly and easily. If you’ve been living with vagina that you’re not happy with, don’t consider surgery or other drastic options until you’ve tried Ben Wa Balls first! They just might change the way you have sex forever!

Related Posts

1. Vaginal Rejuvenation vs. Penis Size – What Can You Do When Things Start To Get Loose Down South?
2. 10 Sex Toys For Married Couples
3. Your First Time… With A New Vibrator – Sex Toys 101
4. Top 5 Best Sex Toys For Valentine’s Day
5. Q&A: How Is A Vibrator Different From A Dildo?

Hey, my question is - this will be mine and my girlfriends first time, and I would like to know how to make this very special for her. I’m a little worried it will be too short and I would like to know the best way to keep it going to satisfy her.

–YouTube Viewer

Make Sex About Her

If you want to ensure your partner enjoys sex, make the sex all about her. Focus on her pleasure instead of your own. This is where foreplay can really become handy, because instead of rushing into penetration (which likely will be uncomfortable at the very least if it’s her first time) you can focus on getting her aroused through foreplay.  Start out by helping her to relax with an erotic massage, and make sure you take your time. Don’t rush into anything, even if you are tempted to hurry up and get your own pleasure. Taking the time to pleasure your partner is well worth it, because in the end sex will be more pleasurable for the both of you.

Give Her Oral Sex

Women love oral sex. That’s a fact! Most women, actually, can’t climax through vaginal stimulation alone and require some degree of clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm. Helping your partner reach orgasm through oral sex before the actual act of penetration will help get her aroused and more physically receptive to your penis. This is especially helpful if your partner is having sex for the first time, as it will be more comfortable and pleasurable for her if she’s naturally lubed up. Another benefit of oral sex is that your women actually find it emotionally fulfilling as well. She’s going to love the fact that in that moment, even if it is just for a few minutes, she is the complete and total focus of your efforts. She gets to lie back, relax and enjoy receiving your efforts to please her!

How To Make It Last Longer

Many guys who haven’t had sex before or who haven’t had sex in a long time are worried about reaching climax too quickly once they start having sex with their partners. This is definitely a common concern, because many guys report they reach the brink of orgasm more quickly than they would like. To make sure you don’t climax too soon the first time, try masturbating often before the big event. Masturbation will help relieve pent up sexual tension, so you don’t feel the need to climax right away. This will give you more time to spend with her focusing on her pleasure and ensure that first time sex doesn’t go too quickly. These are actually all great tips that you can use beyond the first time as well, to make each and every time as amazing for her as it is for you.

Related Posts

1. The 5 Biggest Mistakes Men Make In Bed – Are You Guilty?
2. 9 Ways Sex Can Make You Healthier
3. How To Make Her Fantasize About You In 3 Easy Steps
4. How To Avoid The Biggest Mistake Almost All Men Make In Bed
5. Q&A: Personal Question For Dan & Jennifer – Why Do You Make All These Videos?

Question: Dear Dan and Jenn,I am 14 years old and I have been in a relationship with a guy for 2 years. Recently he said he wanted to have sex and I am not sure if I do, but I am worried if I tell him that I don’t want to lose my virginity to him, he will think I am not into him anymore. What do I do?

–YouTube Viewer

Staying True To Yourself

Being honest with yourself and staying true to yourself is the most important thing in this type of situation. If you’re not emotionally ready or physically ready for sex, there is absolutely no reason you should have to do it. Don’t try to convince yourself that having sex with your partner will make your relationship better or that your partner won’t think you like them if you don’t have sex with them. The only thing that matters here is what you’re comfortable with. If you’re not comfortable with having sex, don’t do it! There are no external factors here. It’s only about you and what you do or don’t want to do. If your partner pressures you to have sex when you’re not ready, or doesn’t respect your decision to wait, it’s definitely time to move on so you can be with someone who really loves you and respects your decisions.

Being Emotionally Ready For Sex – And The Consequences

Sex can bring great pleasure, but if you’re not emotionally ready for sex, it can bring a lot of trouble too. If you break up with your boyfriend or girlfriend after losing your virginity to them (especially when you’re very young), it will most likely be more painful for you than if the breakup happened without you and your partner having had sex. You never forget your first time, so before you lose your virginity, make sure you’re having sex for the first time with the person you really want your first time to be with. Sex can also bring other consequences that make the situation more complicated, such as pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Take some time to think it through and consider all the possible outcomes of having sex before you actually do it. You can’t go back after you’ve done it and do it differently or take more time. Once you do it, it can’t be undone, so really think it through first.

Educate Yourself About Sex

You may think you know what you need to know about sex, but you’d really be surprised at what you haven’t learned yet. Take some time to educate yourself about safe sex, condoms, the morning after pill, pregnancy and various types of sexually transmitted diseases and the different ways you can get them or pass them on. Don’t rely on someone else to tell yo what’s up when it comes to sex, and don’t wait until after you’ve had sex for the first time to find these things out. If you do decide to have sex with your partner and have decided you’re emotionally ready for it, make sure you know how to keep yourself safe too.

Related Posts

1. Are You Ready For Sex? (You Don’t Have To Be A Virgin To Answer This Question)
2. Q&A: How Do I Ask Him If He’s A Virgin Without Offending Him?
3. I’m A Virgin – Will My Big Penis Hurt My Partner?
4. Best Sex Positions To Last Longer In Bed – Are You Ready For Explosive Sexual Endurance With These?
5. Is Your Relationship Ready For Sex? Five Signs It’s Still Too Soon

To answer that question, yes. You are capable of turning your man on and being great in bed even without prior experience in the erotic arts. How? Here are some tips on how you can lose your virginity in style.

Choose a Fabulous Outfit

Your first time is an event worth celebrating, even if you’re the only one who thinks it’s a big deal. When you’re alone, imagine yourself with the man you love and think of what would make you feel sexy at that moment. Imagine the scene from undressing to going under the covers.

It’s impossible for you to be dressed in your usual clothes one minute and be completely naked the next. The transition from dressed to undressed is a crucial part of sex. You’ll be in your underwear, so you’d better look great.

Go out to the shopping mall and look for the most stunning, sexy lingerie you can find. When you see a lacy pair, ask yourself if you want to lose your virginity in that outfit. If you’re hesitant about splurging money for your first time, just remind yourself that this is a once in a lifetime experience and you’d rather spend it in lace than in your usual cotton bloomers.

Feel Sexy

There are some things that women do to feel sexy. Some girls wear their hair a certain way. Some love putting on sheer lip gloss (the ultra-wet variety), and some use dark mascara and eyeliner to emphasize their eyes. Some spend time in the spa or the beauty parlor with girlfriends to moisturize their skin and feel refreshed.

Whatever will make you feel sexy, do it. The more sexy you feel, the more you will lose the awkwardness of knowing it’s your first, while it may be his twentieth time in the bedroom with a girl. At the very least, knowing that you look your best will help you feel more comfortable about baring your whole body in front of a guy.

Connect With Your Man Romantically

Sex with love involved feels a lot better than “just sex”. If you’re feeling so much distance in your relationship, don’t have sex. Do it when the right time comes, and usually, this means you need to be more than a bit in love with the guy before you give up your virginity.

Romance will get you in the right mood. Have something prepared to make him feel more romantic towards you. Put on some music, light some scented candles and go for whispered conversation rather than a normal one. Make sure you feed your man dessert with your hands so that you can transition from the dining room to the bedroom easily.

Related Posts

1. Q&A: My Girlfriend Doesn’t Want To Lose Her Virginity
2. Sex Tips For Your First Time Having Sex
3. First Time Sex Tips – 3 Important Health Concerns
4. First Time Sex Tips – 5 Signs You’re Emotionally Ready for Sex
5. Men, What Does Your Style Say About You? (Part II)

Being frugal and having no other choice are not the only reasons to go out and look for other love nest venues. If your sex life has stalled, and you’re looking for ways to spice things up, it’s time to have sex in other, more exciting places.

5 Most Popular Places To Have Sex

1. In The Car – It’s exciting when you do it in the parking lot, where other cars and people are moving around. Doing it in a car will only allow the most basic sex positions, but the thrill of having sex in a public place is worth it!
2. In A Motel – If you can’t afford a room in a 5-star hotel, renting a motel room is a good alternative. Motel room walls are thin so you can’t make too much noise. Choose one that’s near his place or your place so that you feel like you’re sneaking out to have illicit sex. As long as there’s a bed and a heater, a motel room is good enough for a playful 3-hour romp.
3. In A Tent – On your anniversary, why not pitch a tent in your backyard and do it there. Again, you can’t make too much noise because you might wake the neighbors. The cramped interior of the tent will force you and your boyfriend to stick to the more traditional sex positions like spooning and missionary.
4. In A Hammock On The Beach At Sunset – For a more exciting and romantic intimate moment, on the beach (or your backyard), you can try doing it while you’re lying together in a hammock. The risk of falling off is one of the things that make this sex venue exciting. You can try woman-on-top so that her legs are hanging on both sides of the hammock. Alternatively, you can try the spoon position, even if the risk of falling off is greater.
5. While Swimming In The Pool Or At The Beach – Sex underwater is uncomfortable, but if you are suitably lubricated during penetration, you only have to move slightly to feel the friction. If you can’t do the standing position normally because your man cannot carry you, this is a great way to try this sex position without much effort on his part.

Doing it in places other than your bedroom will prove that you’re still fun, playful and adventurous as a couple. Changing venues is a great way to bring back the excitement in your relationship and to improve intimacy.

Related Posts

1. Top 10 Best Places To Have Sex While Shopping
2. Best Sex Places Of 2011
3. Top 10 Best Places To Have Sex Around The House
4. 10 Best Places To Have Wild Sex And Really Let Go
5. Top 10 Best Places To Have Public Sex

Sex for the first time should not be thought of as painful. It should be a celebration of love and a grand entrance to the world of adulthood. For the first time ever, you are sharing your body with someone who is also into you.

It is a special experience, but you do have to know some important health issues linked with first time sex. Remember, you are going to have to take care of yourself more now that you have started to become sexually active. If it’s your first time, here are some important health tips you should know about…

Always Demand That He Use A Condom

If you are a virgin and he is not, there is a chance that he will be a bit lax when it comes to protection because he is entering “unchartered territory.” This means he knows he’s fairly “safe” with you because you never had lovers in the past.

However, you should always ask him to use a condom, even if it’s your first time. It’s not that you do not trust him to be able to pull out at the critical point, or that you don’t trust his judgment when it comes to his choices of the women he slept with. You just know that accidents could happen and safe sex is still the best practice.

Always bring a condom with you whenever you feel that your man is looking forward to sex after your date. This will eliminate his excuse of forgetting to bring one.

Rinse With Warm Water

I can tell you this - the first entry is uncomfortable, but the painful feeling will come after the first sex. However, you can feel “comfortable” before and after sex by being constantly lubricated. This can be achieved by intense foreplay before sex and rinsing with warm flowing water after sex.

Rinsing properly after your first time will also make sure your wound begins healing minutes after you had sex. And, the best part is, you can go at it again after you rinse if you continue with after play. Lubrication whether with your own fluids or with warm tap water, will increase your comfort.

Clitoral Orgasm

After the break in, you may feel sore in there, and he should know this. But what if you are still willing to go for another round? It’s not surprising that you didn’t reach climax during the first time. You were tense and you were anticipating sex to be painful. Clitoral orgasm for the second time sex is the answer to this dilemma.

Instead of deeper penetration, ask him to concentrate his caresses on the outer part of your vagina. He can use his fingers to probe deeper, but not so deep that you feel tense with discomfort. With your vagina sensitive and tingly after you’ve rinsed with warm water, you should feel the pleasure of clitoral orgasm more intensely.

Related Posts

1. 5 Sex Tips For Good Health
2. Sex Tips For Your First Time Having Sex
3. First Time Sex Tips – 5 Signs You’re Emotionally Ready for Sex
4. First Time Sex Tips – How To Lose Your Virginity In Style
5. Why Blowjob Enthusiasm Is SO Important!

Question: What’s the best position the man should be in if they are both having sex for the first time?

–YouTube Viewer

Missionary Position

It may be cliché, but it’s a classic. The missionary position is considered the most natural, easiest position to get into. With the man on top, he can be in control of the thrusting and the woman can be in control of the angle of her pelvis to help prevent his penis from going in too deep and causing discomfort for the first time. Typically, most people use the missionary position when having sex for the first time, simply because it’s a position that is comfortable for just about everyone. You can go slow or fast with the missionary position, or start slow and build up speed as you and your partner get closer to orgasm.

Other Positions

While there are hundreds of other sex positions you can choose from for your first time having sex, it may not be the best idea. Sex positions like doggy style or woman on top will allow your penis to penetrate her vagina too deeply at first, causing extreme discomfort and pain for her. As you and your partner continue to have sex and her vagina becomes accommodated to your penis, she will be able to relax more and start to feel more comfortable with other sex positions. Some positions, however, aren’t focused so much on deep penetration, such as spooning. Talk to your partner about sex positions that she might be interested in for her first time, and ask her to be honest about her concerns. Is she afraid that some sex positions will hurt, or is she more interested in trying an advanced sex position? There’s nothing wrong with using any sex position you want to for your first time, as long as you and your partner are both comfortable with it and it feels good.

Remember To Have Fun

Great sex isn’t about the perfect position. You certainly don’t have to pick the “best” sex position to have fun, and you don’t have to have the best sex position to make your first time sex special. Relax a little and remember to have fun. Sometimes, things don’t go perfectly the first time and that’s okay. Your first time, as well as hers, will be special no matter what if you have a good attitude about it and aren’t stressed about having a flawless first time. If you try a certain position and it’s not working out for either your or your partner, don’t be afraid to try something else or get creative. There’s no certain way your first time has to be. Just make sure you and your partner are having a good time!

Related Posts

1. Q&A: Sex Tip – How To Get Her To Be On Top
2. 5 Wet And Wild Sex Positions
3. How Do I Get Past My First Time Swinger Fears?
4. Your First Time… With A New Vibrator – Sex Toys 101
5. 3 Titillating Sex Positions For Women

Question: Hey you two, my question would be me and my fiancé (who is also female) plans to come visit me in a few months and were planning on you know, doing adult things. Neither one of us has ever been with another female, so both of us are a little nervous about it. How do you get past the first time jitters?

–YouTube Viewer

Build An Intimate Bond

While you may be really nervous about having sex with your partner for the first time, take some time to focus on building an intimate bond when you first meet your partner. Go out to dinner, have a few glasses of wine and talk, just getting to know each other. Share stories with each other and allow yourself to get comfortable with your partner and vice versa. When you take the conversation home, play a fun sex game like 20 questions or Truth or Dare. Loosen up with your partner and allow yourself to laugh and have a good time before focusing so much on “doing it.” These kinds of sexy games are great at putting you and your partner at ease while setting the mood for a sexy evening with each other.

Remember To Have Fun

A lot of people in this situation end up taking themselves too seriously at first and that can make it even more awkward than it already is. Remember to have fun and relax, and let whatever happens happen. Take it slow, and don’t worry about putting pressure on your partner or yourself to perform. It’s not about getting it right or getting it perfect. Enjoy yourself with your partner and focus on having a good time, even if there are a few bumps along the way. Even if you don’t end up having sex right away or even the first night together, it’s ok. You’re in it for the long haul, so it’s ok to take your time and allow yourself to become comfortable with your partner and comfortable with the situation.

How To Please Another Woman

Learning how to please another woman isn’t difficult, it’s just intimidating. You already have a leg up on the competition, so to speak, because you’re a woman and you know how you like to be touched. Chances are, your partner will like something very similar. If you’re still not sure about how to please another woman, gather some resources on female orgasm and take the orgasm quiz. Read up on how exactly to please your partner move for move. Learning the specific techniques you can use in the bedroom with your partner will give you more confidence when the time comes.

Related Posts

1. Female Orgasm Tips – 5 Powerful Ways to Make Sure She Gets Thigh-Quivering Orgasms (Every Time!)
2. Female Orgasm – 3 Ways To Make Sure Your Girl Gets A Jaw Dropping Orgasm Every Time!
3. Sex Poll – Is It OK to Have Sex During That Time of the Month?
4. Sex Tips For Your First Time Having Sex
5. Q&A: First Time Sex – Is A Condom Enough?

So, can sex prevent a break up? It may, but only if the other relationship issues are fixed first. If intimacy is lacking in your relationship, the problem may be deeper than you think. Forcing yourself or your partner to engage in sexual activities won’t solve anything. It may even make matters worse. Use sex wisely. Don’t overdo it. Moreover, don’t make your partner feel that sex between the two of you is a cheap toy you play around with whenever you feel like it.

In a sense, sex is your trump card. It’s a way to celebrate the renewed understanding you have for each other. Let sex seal the deal for you, and don’t just treat it as a cure-all for your many relationship problems.

Here’s a list of the things you have to fix in your relationship before you can use sex to patch things up.

Financial Problems

Does your man have a grudge against you because you’re trampling on his pride as a provider? Do you shove the fact that you’re earning more than him to his face? If there are hidden financial problems between you and your lover, find a way to deal with them so that there’s one less issue you have to worry about.

Trust Issues

It’s easy to think your man might be cheating on you if intimacy is lacking. However, for the sake of your relationship, always give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Believe him when he says there’s no one else. And, don’t fly off the handle and hook up with another guy just because you think your partner is doing something shady.

Communication Issues

As a rule, you must always say what you mean. The key to staying in a transparent relationship is to be completely open about what you mean. Be gracious when your partner does something good, and be tactful but stern when you see something you don’t like. Miscommunication is the worst thing that can come between you and your partner, and the misunderstandings caused by not being open result in bad sex.

Sex used haphazardly can’t fix your love problems, but if you use it as a catalyst for the change you’re starting by fixing the things I stated above, it will prevent a break up. Think of sex as a sweet reward after you and your partner make up. You can also use it to celebrate a milestone, like when you feel particularly good about something (you got a promotion, you finally completed your mortgage payments etc.) and you want to share that happiness with your partner.

Related Posts

1. Break Ups: When Is The Right Time To End A Relationship?
2. Break Up and Divorce – Should You Condemn Yourself to a Bad Relationship for Life Because of Religion and Guilt?
3. Q&A: Bad Breath – How To Prevent And Treat It
4. 8 Ways To Prevent UTI’s During Sex
5. Break Up Confusion – Does She Really Want To Break Up With Me?

Your reasons for waiting to have sex are your own; don’t let the pressure get to you. Some women think that they’re letting their boyfriend suffer because of their decision not to go all the way. If you’re one of these girls, you shouldn’t believe that penetration is the only way to make love to your boyfriend.

What’s really important in love making is how you can make your guy feel the ultimate pleasure without giving up your cherry. In short, there are more ways to make a guy reach orgasm than they teach in Sex Ed. Read on to discover five of the best make out techniques you can use to please your man….

5 Tips For Steamy Makeout Sessions Without Going All The Way

Learn The Art Of French Kissing

Torrid kissing is one of the main aspects of your makeout sessions, so you must do it right. Feel free to suck and nibble his lips when you’re feeling playful. Use your tongue to tease his tongue out, not for him to choke on. Play with his tongue using your lips.

Fondle His Member

Give your man a hand job while you’re kissing. One way to make sure his arousal will peak is to coordinate your kissing with your hand movements. For instance, whenever you suck his tongue, squeeze his member a bit and stroke faster. Do the same trick when you’re kissing his neck and ears.

Main a good stroking rhythm and you can bet he’ll be ready to explode by the time you move down to give him head.

Let Him Touch Your Breasts

One way to make him feel that you’re connected with him erotically is to allow him to touch your boobs while you’re kissing and stroking him. He will hear you sigh and moan while you’re kissing him, and this will increase his arousal.

Move Downward Slowly

Getting him excited means moving slowly. This will also ensure that he can feel every stroke of your tongue and every movement of your lips. Moving your head gradually downward while stroking him with the same rhythm will move him closer to orgasm.

Alternate Licking His Member And His Balls

While you’re stroking him up and down, kiss the tip of his member or lick his balls. Let his moans and movements be your guide and be extremely conscious of his reactions so that you know when to intensify the blow job.

Applying these techniques will improve your foreplay skills. The good news is that your man will be more than satisfied, and he will not be looking elsewhere for release whenever he’s horny.

Related Posts

1. First Time Sex Tips – 5 Signs You’re Emotionally Ready for Sex
2. Can She Get Pregnant If We Take a Hot Steamy Bath Together?
3. Deliciously Steamy Foreplay Moves To Use On Your Girl TONIGHT!
4. Try This Super-Secret Steamy Sex Move Tonight!
5. Are You Ready For Sex? (You Don’t Have To Be A Virgin To Answer This Question)

But then the question is, ‘why should you wait to have sex?’

There are several factors that determine your relationship’s readiness for sex. These include the stability of your relationship, your confidence in your partner, your beliefs, your principles and your emotional concerns.

Here are some of the signs that it’s too soon to have sex.

You Lack Emotional Security

Are you the jealous type? If you are, then you might want to analyze your reasons for having sex. Some women think that giving it up too soon will create attachment in the guy. But more often than not, this isn’t the case. If you’re naturally possessive, you might find yourself at the bitter end of a bad dumping if you try to bind him to you through sex.

There Is A Need For Deeper Rapport

Sex can intensify love, if love is present before you went for it. It can also intensify dislike if you did not care for each other deeply enough when you had sex. If your first time with a guy was horrible, you’re more likely to dump him (or get dumped) if the sex happened before you developed the necessary closeness that defines a loving relationship. Look, sex can be great, and it can also be lousy. How deeply you care about your partner determines whether or not you will give up on him as your lover just because he failed to satisfy you. And, unfortunately for you, he’s most likely thinking of the same thing.

You Still Don’t Know Much About Your Partner

Is he the type that tells the whole neighborhood or his friends about your first night? If you don’t know the answer to that, then you might want to steer clear of more intimate activities until you’re completely sure about his real personality.

One Wants It More Than The Other

One sign that you’re not on the same page is if you are ready for sex and he isn’t, or vice versa. Going for it when you’re not 100% sure you want to take the plunge is a mistake. At the same time, your guy might have his reasons for not initiating sex with you yet, so don’t force the issue.

You’re Uncomfortable About It

If you get ahead of yourself and give in to the need to have sex, you might regret it later if you were initially not convinced that you want to open yourself up sexually to the guy. Sex makes you vulnerable emotionally, and if you’re really not ready, don’t have sex yet. There may be couples who became intimate immediately after their first meeting and are still in beautiful relationships after several years, but there are also couples who broke up not long after their first time. The point is that sex is a risk. You have to consider everything, including your feelings and his, before you go for it.

Related Posts

1. First Time Sex Tips – 5 Signs You’re Emotionally Ready for Sex
2. Is He Ready For A Serious Relationship?
3. 5 Things To Do When You’re Lonely But Not Ready For A Relationship – Part 1
4. Beware The Hidden Signs Of A Controlling Relationship…
5. When Is A Woman Physically Ready To Have Sex?

If you’re not in the “completely intimate” mindset yet, I don’t blame you.

You’ve probably heard of more than a few couples that split almost immediately after they did it for the first time. There are many factors for the split up, but more often than not, one or both didn’t expect to be dealing with too intense emotions too soon in their relationship.

Sex is a double edged sword. It can make or break your relationship. It can deepen your love for each other, or it can turn you both into possessive, jealous individuals who become co-dependent and eventually burn out.

So, how do you know you’re ready for sex with your partner? Here are some guide questions you can ask yourself if you’re thinking of going for it with your boyfriend.

• Are you comfortable with your body?

Everyone has insecurities, but some women are more insecure about their physical appearance than others. If you look at yourself in the mirror and think you’re ugly, you might want to sort out your insecurities first before exposing yourself to a guy.

• Are you completely sure he likes YOU, and not just the sex?

When sex becomes a factor in your relationship, you will always associate your insecurities with sex. For instance, he doesn’t want to do it with you or you caught him looking at nude photos of this or that starlet online. If you’re not sure he’s into you, you might end up thinking he’s secretly wishing you have bigger breasts or a trimmer tummy.

• Do you trust him?

Trust plays a big role in love making. If you don’t trust your guy, and you’re secretly fretting whether he will use protection, or that he will not do anything that could hurt you, you’d better think twice before going to bed with him.

• Are your motives pure?

Sharing intimacy should be about giving and receiving pleasure with a man you care enough for. In a sense, sex is a celebration of the love and friendship you have. You’re opening yourself up to the pleasure he can provide, and at the same time, you’re showing your willingness to shower him with the physical version of your affection.

If you’re using sex as a tool to make him more attached to you, to make someone else jealous or to make him like you over another girl, you’re just setting yourself up for a heart break later on.

• Are you sure it’s what you want?

There are so many reasons why women put out, and some of these reasons may have something to do with peer pressure, like when your friends (or your boyfriend) constantly ask why you’re not doing it yet. If you have reservations about making love, wait until you’re ready to avoid regretting your actions later on.

If you answered “YES” to all the five questions above, then you really are ready to have sex.

Sex can intensify your feelings and improve your relationship with a guy naturally. It can also be the mortar that solidifies your relationship, so you can build a good foundation for the future.

Related Posts

1. Is Your Relationship Ready For Sex? Five Signs It’s Still Too Soon
2. Not Ready for Sex? Here Are 5 Tips For Steamy Makeout Sessions Without Going All The Way
3. Sex Tips For Your First Time Having Sex
4. First Time Sex Tips – 3 Important Health Concerns
5. First Time Sex Tips – How To Lose Your Virginity In Style

Question: My girlfriend isn’t a virgin, but she is scared of having sex with me because my penis is too thick for her, or so she says. I’m 7 inches long and 7.5 inches around. What should I do to convince her and help her to loose her fear? We are both 18.

–YouTube Viewer

Help Her To Relax First

Getting your partner to relax is the first step to making sure her vaginal muscles are pliable enough to accomodate your big penis. Give your partner a massage, or take a hot bath with her in the candlelight. Let her know that you’re going to go slow and be gentle and that if it hurts her, you’ll stop. The less anxious she is about the whole process, the easier she’ll be able to accomodate your penis length and thickness.

Get Her Warmed Up

Use your fingers with lots of lube to help get her warmed up. First, insert one finger only. Massage slowly and try going down on her at the same time to get her turned on. The more turned on she is, the more her vaginal muscles will relax and loosen up to get ready for insertion. Slowly insert another finger at a time until you’re up to three. Once you’re up to three fingers, ask her how it feels. Is it too tight? Does it hurt? If it feels too tight to you, it probably feels to tight or painful to her. If so, don’t try to use your penis just yet. Wait until she’s relaxed and turned on enough to feel comfortable inserting your penis. You can also use different sized toys to help introduce your partner to your large penis.

Use Lots Of Lube, Go Slow And Stop If It Hurts

Whether you’re using a large dildo or you have a large penis, using lots and lots of lube is the most important thing you can do to make taking extra length and girth easier for her. Use a good, water based lube and don’t be shy about using it. You never can have enough lube! When you begin inserting your penis into her vagina after you’ve warmed her up and gotten her relaxed, make sure you are gentle and go slow. Don’t push it in there too fast (although you might be pretty anxious to get started by now) or she could tear. Remember, women are built to give birth to babies – which are a lot larger than your penis – so don’t worry about not being able to fit it in there. You just have to make sure your partner is comfortable and enjoying it! If it starts to hurt your partner, stop immediately. It may take a few tries before your partner can really accomodate your penis size comfortably.

Related Posts

1. Q&A: What Is A Normal Penis Size?
2. The Long And Short Of Penis Size
3. How Can I Please My Partner With My Small Penis?
4. Q&A: Do Women Care If Men Have A Large Penis?
5. Q&A: What Are Those Bumps On My Penis?

Question: This summer me and my boyfriend are planning on having sex for the first time ever. We know how to put on a condom but I don’t have birth control. Do you have any advice for us? We are really not ready for a kid and we need your help!!!

–YouTube Viewer

Double Layer Defense

Condoms are absolutely essential to use if you want to protect yourself from sexually transmitted diseases and pregnancy. But there are other ways to protect yourself against unexpected pregnancy too. If you really don’t want to get pregnant, think about having a double layer defense when you start having sex. Hormonal birth control is something you can add to condom use to give yourself extra protection. The condom will help keep the sperm from entering the vagina, but even if a few escape, your birth control – if taken correctly – will have prevented an egg from being released and fertilized by those rogue sperm. A double layer defense is the best way to go if you just aren’t ready for a kid right now in any way, shape or form.

What Kind Of Birth Control Is Right For You?

Once you’ve decided to take birth control, it’s time to visit your doctor. You can also visit the your local health department for free or low cost services. Your doctor will perform a cervical exam to check for cancer and sexually transmitted diseases, as well as doing a breast exam. Part of becoming sexually active is being responsible enough to make sure your body is healthy. Your doctor can talk to you about the best type of birth control for you, because there are a number of different types to choose from. Oral contraception is the most popular choice but there are other forms of hormonal birth control as well. If you are one to forget a daily pill, you might want to talk to your doctor about using a birth control ring, patch or injection.

Think Ahead

Another part of becoming sexually active is being responsible enough to think ahead. You know that having sex means you could possibly get pregnant. You’re doing everything you can to prevent that from happening, but there is a very small chance that you could get pregnant anyways, regardless of everything you’re doing to the contrary. The only absolutely 100% effective form of birth control is abstinence. Take some time before you have sex to talk to your partner and think about what you’ll do if you do accidentally get pregnant. There are a several options in front of you should that happen, including adoption, abortion and becoming a parent. Decide what you’ll do if you get pregnant now, so if it does happen, you’ve got a plan.

Related Posts

1. What Are The Side Effects Of Oral Birth Control?
2. He Pulled Out… Can I Still Get Pregnant?
3. Q&A: First Time Sex – Is A Condom Enough?
4. Q&A: Safe Sex – Using The Withdrawal Method
5. Q&A: Help! My Girlfriend Does NOT Want Me To Use A Condom

Question: I am a young teenage girl and recently in September I lost my virginity to a guy I didn’t really care about. It hurt a bit, but I didn’t bleed.  Recently I had sex with a guy I have been crazy about for years, and it hurt a lot worse then my first time but I still didn’t bleed. Is there something wrong with me? Or is this natural? 

P.S. There was protection used both times. I don’t want anyone to think I’m a bad person.

–YouTube Viewer

Not All Girls Bleed

While many girls do bleed after having sex for the first time, some girls don’t. This is perfectly normal and natural. If a girl does bleed after losing her virginity, it may be simply a few spots, but it can also be heavier like a period flow. It can last just a few minutes or a few hours, and sometimes can last the better part of a day. If you bleed very heavily after having sex for the first time, or continue to for several hours or more than a day, make an appointment to see your doctor right away.

What Causes Bleeding After Sex?

Girls are born with a protective “covering” over their vaginal openings called a hymen. Most of the time it does not cover the opening completely, but usually has a small hole in the middle to allow for menstrual flow to escape. During sex, however, the hymen is broken because a penis is generally bigger than the small hole in the hymen. When the hymen is broken, this often causes some mild bleeding and is perfectly normal. However, since not all girls bleed after having sex for the first time, there must be other ways that the hymen can break – and in some cases, it doesn’t break at all or was never really there in the first place.

Other Ways The Hymen Can Break

One of the reasons that virginity never could be “proved” by blood on the sheets after a woman has sex for the first time is because the hymen can break a number of different ways, before a girl even thinks of having sex. The hymen can break while horseback riding, a bumpy SUV ride, or when inserting a tampon for the first time. In the case of a tampon breaking the hymen, you may never know that your hymen broke because you would most likely have mistaken the blood for your menstrual flow. If you don’t bleed after having sex for the first time, it doesn’t mean that you are unhealthy or something is wrong with you. Just remember to have your annual exams and use protection during sex to stay safe and healthy.

Related Posts

1. Q&A: Popping A Girl’s Cherry: Will It Bleed?
2. Virgin Male Swinger – Are My First Time Fears Normal?
3. First Time Sex Tips – How To Lose Your Virginity In Style
4. Q&A: Is It Normal To Get Random Erections During The Day?
5. First Time Sex Tips – 3 Important Health Concerns

Question: My girlfriend doesn’t want to have normal sex yet (she’s only 16 and I’m about the same age, and we both are virgins), but I really love her and I really want to give pleasure to her. Should I give her oral sex or fingering or something like that, so that she wouldn’t lose her virginity, but would be satisfied?

–YouTube Viewer

Her Right To Say No

If your partner doesn’t want to lose their virginity, it is her right to say no. Even if you suggest other things to give her sexual pleasure, such as oral sex or fingering, remember that she doesn’t have to do anything that she is uncomfortable with regardless of whether she’s “technically” losing her virginity or not. If you really want to share a sexual experience with y0ur partner, ask her if there is anything that she would like and would be comfortable with. If she isn’t comfortable with something, don’t pressure her and give her some time to think about it.

Don’t Do Something You’ll Regret

If you and your partner mutually decide to have sex for the first time, or experience some other type of sexual pleasure together, think it through first. Make sure your partner really is comfortable with whatever you and her have decided to do, and isn’t doing something she’ll regret later just because you want her to. Also, make sure you’re not doing anything you’ll regret later too. Whether you’re having sexual intercourse or giving or receiving oral sex from your partner, worrying about pregnancy or STD’s.remember to be safe always. Use a condom during sexual intercourse and if she wants to give you oral sex, as well as using a dental dam when you give oral sex to her. Your first time – enjoying each other sexually in whatever way you choose – shouldn’t be about

Sex Is More Pleasurable When You Wait

If you and your partner decide to wait to have sex and experience each other sexually, you’ve made a great decision. Waiting until you’re more emotionally mature and prepared for sex can make it more pleasurable for both you and your partner. Rushing into sexual intercourse or other sexual activities, and possibly regretting it later, is not going to give you or your partner much sexual satisfaction outside the moment. However, waiting until you and your partner truly are ready to have sex – both physically and emotionally - means that you and your partner can share a deeply sexual and satisfying relationship both in and outside the bedroom. You don’t necessarily have to wait forever though – try making a deal with your partner to revisit the discussion in 3 or 6 months. You or your partner may feel differently about the subject after spending more time with each other and more time in the relationship.

Related Posts

1. First Time Sex Tips – How To Lose Your Virginity In Style
2. How to ‘Lose’ a Taurus Man
3. Don’t Lose Yourself To Get Love
4. Q&A: Do You Lose Your Friends When You Fall In Love?
5. Q&A: Shouldn’t My Girlfriend Want Sex More Often?

Question: I’m 19 years old and I’ve been dating my boyfriend, 22, for over a month and a half. I’m a virgin and I really trust him and want to have sex with him, but there are some signs that he may or may not have had sex. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me before to ask him whether or not he’s had sex but now I’m not sure how to approach him about it. How to do I ask him whether or not he’s a virgin without emasculating him and making him defensive? I really care about him and want him to be comfortable.

–YouTube Viewer

Ask About Sex When You’re Not Having Sex

Asking your partner about their sexual history before, during or after sex are all really bad times to talk about it. Your partner will feel pressured, uncomfortable and may not give you an honest answer. You may even translate his discomfort to mean he’s hiding something from you – and he may not be, even if he seems uncomfortable or stressed out. Make sure to ask your partner about their sexual past during a time when there’s no sex involved – for example, a good time to have this conversation would be during a casual lunch or when you’re just hanging out and relaxing. The idea here is to put as little pressure on your partner as possible. Your attitude about the situation will reflect on him – if you feel like this is a “serious” situation, he will too and he’ll probably freak.

Making Him Feel Comfortable

Making your partner feel comfortable about talking about his sexual history is the only way you’re going to get any real information. Let your partner know that it’s okay whether he’s a virgin or not, and simply let him know that you’re curious. Volunteer your own sexual status to help make him more at ease with sharing his sexual past. Don’t grill him about it and if he’s not comfortable talking about it now, don’t pressure him into giving you an answer right away. Give him time and ask him when he might be ready to talk about it. Let him know it’s not an interrogation – and don’t make him feel like it’s one either.

Why Ask At All?

Some people believe in “don’t ask, don’t tell” when it comes to sharing your sexual history with your partner and vice versa. If you and your partner are more comfortable not talking about it all together, this may work for you. But usually, getting a sexual background on your partner – not necessarily all the dirty details but just the gist – will help you get to know your partner better. Knowing whether your partner has had unprotected sex with a number of people can help you make smarter decisions about safe sex.

Related Posts

1. I’m A Virgin – Will My Big Penis Hurt My Partner?
2. Q&A: Sexual Virgin – I’m Not Sure I’m Ready
3. 3 Tips To Talk Dirty Without Offending Her
4. Are You Ready For Sex? (You Don’t Have To Be A Virgin To Answer This Question)
5. Is It Normal For a Virgin to Be Into BDSM?

Question: My question concerns popping a girl’s cherry. I’m sure you guys have heard that when a girl has sex for the first time she will bleed from her vagina. Is this true or false, and if it is true is it like a period in the sense that it can be a heavy flow or a light flow, or is the bleeding minimal?

–YouTube Viewer

Bleeding After The First Time

When a girl loses her virginity, it may be painful or uncomfortable, and she may even bleed a little that night and the next day. This is separate from a girl’s period, and is not normally as heavy as a period. When a girl bleeds after the first time, it’s usually a brighter red, while a menstrual flow tends to be a little darker. After losing her virginity, she may bleed a little or bleed off and on for about a day, but a lot of blood – such as enough blood to need to wear a tampon or heavy pad – may mean she needs to see a doctor.

What Causes It To Bleed?

Girls are built with a thin membrane of tissue just inside the vagina that covers part of the vaginal opening. Most of the time, a hymen does not completely cover the vaginal opening, rather, it is shaped more like a half moon, leaving the top of the vaginal opening uncovered to allow a woman’s menstrual flow to come through. However, some hymens can completely cover the vaginal opening, and some only leave a small hole. A septate hymen actually forms in the middle of the vagina, allowing for two openings on either side of the hymen. Uncommon types of hymens can make it difficult for a woman to insert or remove a tampon, and may even prevent her menstrual flow. When a woman loses her virginity, the hymen will break, sometimes causing pain or discomfort for the woman, and sometimes bleeding.

If She Doesn’t Bleed, Does That Mean She’s Not A Virgin?

Hymens can be broken through normal activities, such as sports, horseback riding and inserting and removing a tampon. If your partner doesn’t bleed even though it’s the first time she’s had sex, it does not mean that she’s had sex before and she’s not a virgin. It simply means that her hymen may have broken earlier in her life, or that her hymen just didn’t bleed much if at all when it was broken during sex. Losing your hymen doesn’t mean that you’ve lost your virginity either – you can only lose your virginity the first time you have sex, hymen or no hymen.

Related Posts

1. Q&A: First Time Sex – I Didn’t Bleed. Is That Normal?
2. Q&A: Masturbation – How Do Virgin Girls Masturbate?
3. Penis Size – What About Vagina Size? Do Girls Have A Size Too?
4. First Time Sex Tips – How To Lose Your Virginity In Style
5. Q&A: Do Girls Like Hairy Guys?

What is the Distraction Technique?

It goes like this. While having sex, the guy who doesn’t want to come too soon thinks of mind-numbing concepts or completely non-sexual imagery. For example, he’ll count back from 1000 or picture a deer getting hit by a car. Whatever it is, he’ll make sure it is a complete turn-off.

He’ll do this in an attempt to take himself out of the moment and therefore distance himself from the sexual stimulation he is receiving all in an effort to extend his sexual performance. But you have to ask yourself: is having sex for a long time worth it if you’ve got to totally separate your mind from it?

Of course not! This distraction principle is a bad way to handle the problem of rapid ejaculation. Instead, you should use the REAL distraction principle, which goes like this.

The REAL Distraction Principle

Great sex isn’t just about penetration. Any man that thinks different is in for a nasty surprise. Mutually pleasurable, great sex is a combination of teasing, foreplay and penetration, amongst other things.

The point here is that sex should be varied. This is not only good from a pleasure point of view, but also from a premature ejaculation point of view. By periodically altering what you and your partner do to and with each other during sex, you can keep your stimulation levels under control and thereby delay your climax from happening until you want it to.

The reason this is called the real distraction technique is because you are effectively distracting you and your partner’s attention away from the fact that you aren’t having penetrative sex and onto the fact that you are doing something different yet equally pleasurable, like massaging each other, performing oral and manual stimulation, engaging in dirty talk, kissing and licking each other, etc.

What you should do is alternate between a minute or two of penetration (or however long you can currently last without your stimulation levels soaring too high) and some other, non-penetrative activity, like giving her head or kissing up and down her body.

Why Women Love It

As well as your partner loving the variation of your sexual encounter, you’ll also love the fact that your stimulation levels are always under control, because whenever they get too high, you can simply switch to doing something else for a minute or so. It’s a simple, but devastatingly effective technique.

In fact, most women who experience this kind of varied sexual experience prefer it over having sex with a guy who doesn’t have premature ejaculation but who can have penetrative sex for as long as he wants.

Related Posts

1. How To Boost Your Sexual Stamina – Use These 3 Killer “P” Techniques For Turbo-Charged Endurance!
2. Fixing Premature Ejaculation – What Makes A Good Treatment To Boost Sexual Stamina (Most Guys Are Clueless)
3. 3 Proven Tips For Improving Your Sexual Stamina
4. Preventing Premature Ejaculation – Are These 4 Myths Killing Your Sexual Stamina in Bed?
5. Top 10 Ways To Boost Your Sexual Confidence with Women

Our brains work selectively; they store and recall certain bits of information while forgetting others.

For example, you might remember, for whatever reason, a phone number that has little or no importance to you, but forget the birthday of someone you really should buy a present for.

For the most part, this selective/subjective memory trait creates no real problems in our day to day lives. We can look up a number if we forget it, or ask a friend of a friend for the day of the month on which someone’s birthday falls.

When Selective Memory Is A Problem

However, sometimes it can make things slightly trickier. One such time is when we suspect our partner may be cheating on us. Imagine you walk into the room just as your partner is putting down the phone and they seem a little on edge or tense as they turn around and see you.

The incident may stick out in your mind for weeks, niggling at you, making you wonder: did it mean something, was it a sign? Fast forward to a different occasion, when your partner returns home from a business meeting or other engagement late and immediately jumps in the shower, even before properly saying ‘hi’ to you.

You might rationalize their behavior by thinking: “Well, they were probably tired or something. They surely just felt like refreshing themselves with a shower,” then forget all about it.

You might be 100% right, but that’s not really the point. The strange phone incident and the unusual dash to the bathroom on returning home could both have happened because your partner is cheating on you, and conversely they both could be wholly innocent and not caused by infidelity.

The point here is, remembering one incident over the other and thus giving it more weight or meaning than the other in your mind could potentially make it much more difficult to ascertain what is or isn’t going on, whether they’re trustworthy or not.

So, to combat the human tendency to selectively remember and therefore consider some incidents more than others, and therefore improve your chances of revealing the truth, you should keep an objective, non-selective record of everything that happens. Here’s how it works:

Keep A Journal

Use a journal or diary, not a digital method of recording events, changes in behavior/habits/moods, etc. Noting things in your own handwriting allows each piece of information recorded to be absorbed more deeply and permanently by your mind than if you type them out quickly on a computer.

Also, paper records (a diary, journal, etc.) are usually more portable than laptops, PC’s, etc., which could come in handy if/when you spot a potential sign of infidelity away from home.

Be Objective

Keep your journal as objective and neutral as humanly possible. Note the time something unusual, strange or suspicious occurs, if you’ve noticed it before, and what it consists of.

For example, saying: “Today (insert date) they came home 2 hours later than usual from work, it’s happened once before and they offered no reason or explanation for their lateness” is much better and more useful in the long run than: “They came home late again! They had no reason to be late at all. It must mean something.”

So, be specific, neutral, accurate and non-judgmental. A time will come when you’ll make a decision on whether or not you can trust them and it’ll be then when an emotional response will be completely warranted and understandable. Until then, record what happens like a robot.  I’ll help unravel the mystery and reveal what the hell is or isn’t going on.

Keep Your Journal Hidden

Finally, keep your journal/record hidden away somewhere where it won’t be stumbled upon by your partner. If they ARE cheating and find your diary, it could easily make them more secretive and more careful not to give out noticeable signs of their infidelity in the future, thus making your job of uncovering the truth more difficult.

If they find it and are NOT cheating, they could feel insulted or hurt that you don’t fully trust them. That’s an issue that, if appropriate, can be brought up by you after you’ve completed your little ‘investigation’. For now, secretiveness is quite possibly one of your greatest allies in discovering whether or not your partner’s having an affair.

Related Posts

1. Married Life: Dreaming About Cheating Vs. Actually Cheating
2. Is Virtual Cheating Really Cheating?
3. How To Reveal A Deep, Dark Secret To Your Partner
4. To Confront Or Not Confront: A Mistress Or A Lover
5. How To Love A Powerful Woman: Mo’Nique, Sandra And Victoria Reveal Secrets To Success

If you and your partner have stopped having sex, whether you’re emotionally distant or not, should you stay in a sexless marriage for the sake of staying in the marriage?

Staying Together For The Kids

Many married couples believe that it’s better to be unhappy in a marriage and stay together if they have children. They believe that raising their children in a traditional, nuclear family is the best way to go, whether they’re happy as a couple or not.

Many couples will simply grow apart but continue to stay married and live together for the sake of the children? Is this the best idea? Probably not. Married couples that are unhappy, fighting and emotionally divorced have just as much effect on children as physically divorced couples.

No matter what you decide to do, it’s going to have an effect on your children. In fact, it probably already has up to this point. Your biggest decision now is how to proceed. What will impact the children in the most positive way?

If you and your partner are constantly fighting or are so emotionally distant that it appears to your children that you can’t stand each other, there’s really no compelling reason to stay married. Your children will most likely be better off if you’re divorced, spending equal time with happier and more confident parents, even if you are apart.

Why Is The Marriage Sexless?

If you and your partner are in a sexless marriage, you might be thinking about trying to make it work. After all, it’s for better or worse, right?

If you and your partner have come to a decision to really try and figure out what is going on in your relationship, you’re taking a step in the right direction. You need to really figure out why the marriage is sexless.

Consider All The Options

Are you and your partner no longer physically compatible? Do you receive less pleasure from sex now than you did at another time?

If you and your partner believe this might be the case, consider seeing a sex therapist. A sex therapist can help you to look at your physical issues and find ways to use different tools to increase your sex drives and your pleasure in the bedroom.

A sexless marriage could also be attributed to emotional distance. If you and your partner don’t feel very close to each other emotionally, you’re definitely not going to feel the need to be close to each other physically. Spend more time together alone. Get a babysitter, or go out and do things you both love. Get back to where you were emotionally when you were first together, when you were really just enjoying each other’s company.

Get to know each other again! You might consider visiting a traditional therapist. They can help you and your partner to get back on track emotionally by stripping away the every day stuff that can get in the way of a marriage and help you to discover how you really feel about your partner.  Once you and your partner begin moving closer together emotionally, your sex life will follow.

Related Posts

1. I’m In A Sexless Marriage! What Happened?
2. Sexless Marriage? Here’s What To Do
3. I’m In A Bad Marriage – Should I Stay?
4. How To Revive A Sexless Marriage In 3 Easy Steps
5. Should You Stay Married Just For The Kids?

The length of your performance, the quality of your sexual technique and even the strength and reliability of your erections are all, to some degree or another, controlled by the foods you eat on a daily basis.

I know that’s a bold statement. But think of the relationship between your food and your sexual performance like the fuel used by your car.

Put the wrong type of gas in and, if you’re lucky, you’ll just about splutter a few feet, for a few seconds.

Eat the wrong foods and your sexual performance will be similarly impacted: you’ll conk out sooner and generally perform more poorly than if you were eating the best things, most of the time.

Okay, the question’s been posed: What can you eat to boost your sexual prowess? And how can the foods you consume improve your ability to put in, time and time again, a powerful and multi-orgasmic sexual performance for you and the woman you’re with?

First on the menu: Sexual Super-foods.

Sexual super-foods are the absolute best things you can eat to help you out in the bedroom, because they contain chemicals, fibers and vitamins that are all suited to boosting and improving your body in relation to love-making.

There are 7 different sexual super-foods, each containing a different selection of natural ingredients and therefore each targeting different areas of sexual skill. I’m going to tell you about one of them right now.

The blueberry is a sexual super-food often referred to as ‘nature’s little blue pill’ because of its remarkable similarities to the wonder drug ‘Viagra’. However, unlike ‘Viagra’, blueberries are cheap, readily available and able to be consumed in bulk!

The beauty of blueberries in regards to maximizing your sexual ability lies in what they contain. Firstly, they’re loaded with soluble fiber, which helps push excess cholesterol through your digestive system before it can be broken down, absorbed and deposited in your arteries.

They’re also packed with compounds that help relax your blood vessels and improve circulation throughout your body. The benefit of lower cholesterol and improved blood flow is more blood to you penis during sex and firmer erections as you get older. To harness the powers of this sexual super-food, which include stronger, longer lasting erections, pop a handful of blueberries into a fruit smoothie a couple of times a week.

Next on the menu: General nutrition and Health

To most people, eating the right foods at the right times is a boring, fairly unfulfilling prospect. I mean, we all know of the overall health benefits of eating right, but we don’t generally care very much about sticking to strict diets, especially considering the time and effort usually involved in doing so.

But if most men knew about how much their sexual ability and performance would improve if they simply improved their diets a little and upped their exercise just slightly, they’d be amazed.

It breaks down like this. Eating healthily improves your cardio-vascular fitness (your stamina) and helps maintain high levels of energy; both vital components of any impressive, lengthy sexual performance.

A secondary product of eating well, which stems from your high levels of energy and endurance, is a positive mental attitude. In essence, feeling happy and stress-free. These kinds of feelings come about naturally when you eat well because your body is chemically balanced and has high stores of usable energy.

You don’t need to go crazy when it comes to improving your diet to notice a big improvement in your sexual ability. A great place to start is by always, always eating breakfast. But not just any breakfast.

Eating cereal that is high in thiamine and riboflavin (check the label) helps your body store energy efficiently, which will come in really handy when you get down and dirty later in the day! Also, eat breads and cereals with lots of niacin in them (again, check the nutritional fact labels). Niacin is a vitamin that’s essential for the secretion of histamine. Your body needs histamine in order to control and trigger explosive orgasms!

Lastly, always get that minimum of 5 portions of fruit and vegetables in a day. You’ll really notice the difference eating them makes, in and out of the bedroom.

Okay, so there you have it. A good general diet can be used as a base, which gives you the fundamental levels of energy, fiber and vitamins needed to perform well in bed.

Then, the 7 sexual super-foods can be eaten to naturally boost specific chemical levels in your body and thereby further improve your body’s sexual capabilities. You’ve learned about one of those 7 sexual super-foods already.

The bottom-line? Eat better, perform better!

Related Posts

1. Eat Your Way To Better Sex – 6 Foods That Will Boost Your Libido
2. The Best Way To Increase Your Sexual Performance
3. How To Extend Your Sexual Performance By Using Sex Positions Like An Expert
4. How To Use Sex Positions To Last Longer In Bed And Improve Your Performance By Up To 500%
5. Discover The One Powerful Skill That Will Turn You Into an Exceptional Lover

But no one’s sex life is perfect. Things slow down, the energy seems to disappear, it’s not as fun or exciting as either of you would like, in short, it needs improving.

So what can you do to get back (or even create for the first time) that special spark that makes great sex so…well, great? Here are 4 top tips.

1. Play Games

The thing that often grinds sex lives to a halt and makes lovemaking become so much of a hassle is the pressure and responsibility that surrounds the whole subject.

For the man, there’s the burden of having to make the girl reach her own climax. For the woman, there’s the strain of making sure her man is sexually satisfied and not bored and liable to go looking elsewhere for sex or questioning the stability and longevity of the relationship they’re both in.

To counteract these negative pressures, try making having sex a less traditional, scheduled, boring task. Instead, pick a couple of fun games that you can play together that are fun and flirty and that can lead casually and smoothly into the actual sex.

Twister, strip poker and spin-the-bottle are all great games that incorporate physical contact and allow both you and your partner to have a little no-hassle, no-responsibility fun that does or doesn’t have to lead to a bout of impromptu lovemaking.

2. New Locations, New Positions

People often have a very 2-dimensional outlook on the nature of sex and how one should go about having it. The vast, vast majority of people, for example, only have sex in the bedroom.

And even they have a set routine, lights dimmed or off, the same progression through the various stages of sex: a little foreplay, intercourse in missionary and maybe doggy if the guy’s lucky and the girls feeling up to it, then it’s pretty much over. Even if your personal situation has more life than that, sex in the bedroom can still become a drag after a while.

So, switch it up. Think about different locations you can use: the living room, bathroom, kitchen…consider all possibilities, even if they at first seem far-fetched and silly. Also, think about locations away from the home once in a while.

Motels and cheap hotels offer a couple a fresh place to explore each other. Secondly, improvise and experiment with the positions you use. Missionary, girl on top, spoons, and doggy are all great, but always try to mix in a few more unusual, adventurous ones to spice things up.

Even if you find yourself in a tangle with your partner, you’ve still had fun and been spontaneous, which is a key component of any great sex life.

3. Communicate Fantasies

Something few men and women do is talk to their partners about what turns them on, about things they’d like to try, scenarios they’d love to act out, etc. etc. Make telling your partner about things that turn you on a regular thing and, in return, you listen to their previously private fantasies and day-dreams.

If doing it face-to-face is too embarrassing, consider sending saucy messages via email or text message. You’ll find that after reading about what really gets your partner going, you’ll be much more excited and motivated to please them sexually, and they’ll feel the same way back!

4.  Special Occasions

When you do the same thing many times, even if it started out feeling new and exciting, it can get a little run-of-the-mill and boring. So, to inject a real sense of passion and renewed excitement into your sex life, make certain evenings special nights in (or out, then in!).

Go the whole way to making it feel almost like a celebration and do whatever’s necessary to separate it from your usual lovemaking sessions. Popular favourites include getting dressed up separately from your partner, perhaps at a friend’s house, then meeting them in a restaurant for a meal.

Then, on returning home, you can indulge each other with a slow and sensual massage or perhaps carry out one or more of the fantasies you’ve been hinting to each other about. From there, sex can begin. Maybe on the floor of the living room or even on the stairs.

Remember, impulsiveness and adventurousness are a turn on, use them to kick-start your sex life!

Related Posts

1. Sex Tips: Help! I Want To Spice Up Our Sex Life!
2. Q&A: How Can We Spice Up Our Sex Life?
3. How to Spice Up Your Sex Life and Save Your Relationship
4. Great Sex Tips To Spice Up Your Sex Life In The Bedroom
5. How to Spice Up Your Sex Life and Save Your Relationship

In dual career relationships, the household chores still predominantly fall to the woman to accomplish.  This reality may be the result of some latent chauvinism.

Latent Chauvinism

However, it is likely because most men do not seem to care if the house is straightened up, dishes done, or even if laundry has been taken care of at the end of a day.  Some men will make a shirt and suit last another day and buy a fresh pair of socks and underwear rather than stay on top of the laundry at home.

Women, on the other hand, with their nesting instincts and natural bent for seeing the big picture tend to organize what they consider the necessities of life, including straightening up the home, doing the dishes, and staying on top of the laundry.

If work is brought home or children are involved on top of what it takes to keep a home running smoothly, your woman can spend all her free time at home organizing and carrying through with her plans to get it all done including the things you don’t find important.

Even if this imbalance is just the result of a difference in personalities and not the result of chauvinism, it can still produce bitterness and resentment in her that gets in the way of good loving.  There is a way to create balance and seduction at the same time.

Creating Balance

Create an opportunity to have a conversation with her where you volunteer to help.  Where you intend to help around the house needs to be something you are actually interested in doing, so go into this prepared.  You may be willing to be given a chore list.  However, if there are things you just do not want to become responsible for, think about which responsibilities appeal to you.

A good place to begin the conversation is to tell her you appreciate how much she does to keep the house running smoothly.  Tell her that if it were up to you, you would not notice all the things she does that make your house a home.

If this is true for you, share with her that you also like it when you find she has time to relax, put her feet up, or soak in the tub; how that kind of feminine expression makes her attractive to you.  Then tell her you want to help around the house.

Her Reaction May Vary

Depending on her personality, she may laugh and give you a hard time or she may drop her jaw in astonishment and gratitude.  You know her.  Go into this prepared.  Don’t expect her to fall all over you panting like a grateful puppy if that isn’t who she is!

If she hasn’t been able to express her need for help for a number of years, she may not realize how much resentment she has let build up in that time.  Your offer may throw her for a loop, creating a less than best response from her.

Hang in there; she will eventually get on board with your offer.  Maybe even tease you about what’s in this for you!

It may seem like a mundane thing to daydream about, but dream out loud about how this is going to work.  If you pitch in and help her, she will want to be able to count on you.  Think aloud and talk about things like, if you take over doing the dishes, you won’t do them exactly the same way she does.

Begin negotiating how big a deal that might be on the front end.  It will help relieve tension and increase the likelihood for success in the end.

If there are chores that were once yours but she took them over because it was easier than counting on you to follow through, talk about that.

Does she need to let you take those chores back and do them when and how you do it or do you need to be regular in your follow through with those chores?  Which chores does she really need done her way and which ones can she truly release to you?

Do not make getting more sex as a reward a part of your negotiations!  That will not feel good to her!  It will make her feel manipulated.

Following Through

Instead, follow through with whatever the two of you decide.  Set it up so that you are both willing to negotiate new plans if the first one you come up with doesn’t work as smoothly as you want.  Give it time to make a difference.

Then, make sure other kinds of tasks do not take the place of the chores she used to do!  Invite her to play, seduce her, and slowly but surely let her know that your life as a couple means a lot to you.  Tell her that nurturing who you are as a couple matters.

For her that probably includes conversation and doing things together like the chores.  For you that includes sex and doing things together that are more like play.  Communicate these things!

Sharing household chores may seem like a funky way to go about foreplay.  However, foreplay is essentially about drawing her out of her mind, where her worries and “to do” lists predominate, into her body where she can open and be receptive to you!  When you proactively help with chores, a whole bunch of worries and lists get erased, making your lover more accessible for play, intimacy, and making love!

Related Posts

1. Top 10 Best Places To Have Sex Around The House
2. 9 Ways To Get Laid On Vacation
3. You Got A Stripper To Come To Your House – Now What?
4. Choosing Sex Toys For Her Without Ending Up In The Dog House
5. Why You Can Get Laid By A Stripper – Without Opening Your Wallet!

The most empowering step a woman can take to preserve her relationship and reduce the risk he will wander is to be aware of  these needs and provide them for her partner to the best of her ability.

Yes, it is a two way street and her needs are just as important as his and he too should make the same effort to provide for her, however at this time we’re focusing on the needs of the man.

1. Make Him Feel Appreciated, Wanted, Desired and Important

We all want to feel appreciated and desired, but research tells us that one of the main reasons a man strays is because of the way the other woman makes him feel. She makes him feel special, important, desired and appreciated.  If he gets this at home, there will be no need for him to look for it elsewhere.

After a couple has been in a relationship for a while, the novelty wears off and both partners begin to take each other for granted. We forget about simple things like showing appreciation and expressing desire.

Again, men are just as guilty as women at falling into this rut, but for now we’re talking about helping the woman understand her man.

We’re not just talking about sex here.  Just like women, the man wants to feel appreciated outside the bedroom as well. Acknowledge to him that you appreciate how he provides for your family, or how much you enjoyed the family vacation or outing you went on last week.

When he does a great job in the yard, fixes the window that’s been falling down for a year or stops the faucet from dripping let him know you appreciate it by saying thank you.

He wants to feel important in the household. Thank him for being a great father and let him know how lucky you are to have him as a husband. If he does something special for you, acknowledge it and express gratitude.  Make a big deal out of the little things. Compliment him on his skills and knowledge.

2. Use Words and Actions to Show Your Love

Give him verbal appreciation, but also express it with your actions. Be thoughtful and caring by making him his favorite desert, buying him a small gift, giving him a massage or surprising him with some unexpected afternoon delights.

On the sex side of things, he wants to be appreciated and desired here too. Make him feel like he’s irresistible and you can’t keep your hands off him. Tell him how attractive he is to you, how much you desire him and what a great lover he is.

Take pleasure in giving him pleasure. Tell him how much you love his penis and how much you enjoy how it feels and tastes. Compliment his physique, his skill and his equipment. Shower him and his equipment with affection and adoration.

Now, I’m not saying you go overboard here or ignore problems that exist in the relationship, but there should be balance. If a couple only focuses on what’s wrong with the relationship and not on what’s good, then the good often gets lost in the shuffle.

Additionally, I’m not suggesting you lie or exaggerate.  If you do that, he’ll feel patronized and you’ll grow resentful. Be honest and sincere.

3. Have Sex Frequently

Another one of the most common reasons for wandering eyes is that he’s not getting sex at home. It’s as simple as that. Many women are never even aware that he strays, because he’s very good at keeping it a secret. Yes, some men will feel ashamed for this behavior, but they also feel justified. They believe they have a need that is not being fulfilled and they must do something about it.

When a woman repeatedly rejects the sexual advances of her man, he feels rejected, neglected, undesirable and unimportant, which leaves a very big void in his life. Men need to have sex to feel close emotionally to their partner. It doesn’t even have to be great, mind blowing or earth shattering sex; it’s more about the frequency.  As long as you’re making an attempt to have sex and not continuously turning him down, he’ll feel satisfied.

The other side of this coin is that he also has a great need for oral sex.  Many men go outside the primary relationship for oral sex. A man’s identity is intimately connected to his penis and when his woman refuses him in this way, he feels rejected and devalued as a person.

4. Give Him Variety and Sexual Adventure at Home

Sexual boredom is another leading culprit for wandering eyes. Remain open to exploring new territory and unafraid to fly outside your comfort zone.  Present your lover with novel sexual activities that are bold, daring and adventurous.

Keep a sense of mystery and surprise in your sexual relationship and your lover will be continuously intrigued with you.

Create an ever-changing menu of sexcapades that are unpredictable and keeps your partner guessing.

Discouraging wandering eyes is the responsibility of both partners. It is the quality of the relationship that will safeguard it from outside forces.

Building a relationship that makes both partners feel appreciated, desired, and valued is the foundation for a strong, long lasting bond that keeps all eyes where they belong.

Related Posts

1. How To Increase Sexual Attraction In An Existing Relationship Using Only Your Eyes
2. 5 MORE Tips For When You’re Alone And Lonely – Part 2
3. Tips For A Lasting Relationship
4. Less Is Enough – Relationship Survival Tips For A Receding Economy
5. 5 Tips For an Amazing Relationship

This article should make sex a real no-brainer for you from here on thanks to these ten things that women admit to wanting even if they don’t necessarily admit it to you!

Before Sex She Wants You To…

1. Kiss Her

It seems that kissing has become a bit of a lost art in this day and age and this is especially the case when a couple has been together for a long time. Spend a few minutes just kissing (a.k.a. making out) the way you did when you were a teenager. You’d be surprised at how hot kissing can really be!

2. Indulge in Some Foreplay

Women need a little more than guys do in order to get really turned in and primed for action. By treating them to more foreplay, not only do you increase their chances of an orgasm, but you’re also setting yourself up for some very hot sex to follow!

3. Be Romantic

This should come as no shocker to anyone as it has been a problem since the beginning of man! While women enjoy a hard sexy throw down on occasion, they still want to be pampered and romanced a little.

Take some time to light a candle or two or just say something romantic. It doesn’t take a bed sprinkled with rose petals to make a woman happy-though that would be great too.

During  Sex She Wants You To…

4. Look Into Her Eyes

You can’t even begin to imagine how incredibly arousing it can be to keep your eyes focused on each other during sex.

It creates an intimacy like nothing else which most women crave from their partners and it can really help you get in tune with each other so you’re better able to know what feels good to them and what could use a little work; all without having to say a word.

5. Be A Little Rough

Yes, women want romance and tenderness, but most often before sex. During sex a woman wants to feel the passion and the urgency that comes from being wanted and desired.

Men are often afraid to be too rough, but the truth is that many women want to be handled a little harder during sex. Note: Tip #5 is a great one to help gauge just how rough you should be with her.

6. Not Forget Her Clitoris

The clitoris is the female equivalent of the penis, meaning that it is full of pleasure-feeling nerve endings that need to be stimulated to achieve orgasm.  Most often a man will be so wrapped up in all the thrusting that he will neglect the most sensual part of her body. Spend some time on the clitoris and you’ll make her one happy camper!

After Sex She Wants You To…

7. Cuddle

Big surprise; a woman wants to be held a little after sex as opposed to having you roll over and fall asleep like she’s not even there. Put your arms around her, let her rest her head on you and try to stay awake for the next tip.

8. Say Something

Again, this one should come as no surprise. This is because women tend to feel more vulnerable after sex and by taking the time to listen and talk to her; you are making her feel more at ease and special.

9. Be Tender

Once the passionate, raw sex is done and over with, it’s time to treat her like a delicate little lady again.

And Finally…

10. Have sex with her again!

That’s right; while most men need to rest and regroup after they climax, women are usually good to go again rather quickly and would appreciate another round!

Related Posts

1. 5 Things Women Want In A Penis
2. Top Things Women Do To Screw Up A First Date
3. Crazy Things Women Do For Adult Films
4. Top Things Women Do To Screw Up A Long Term Relationship
5. 10 Things You DIDN’T Know About SEX!

We’re often asked how romantic betrayal  relates to spiritual tenets such as karma and personal destiny. In two words, a lot. Our long-term empirical research firmly indicates that  everything you do and say will return to you, and usually not in the same lifetime.

The Big Picture

When looking at the big picture in relation to your love life, it’s important to realize that key circumstances and events, ”good” and “bad,” happen because that’s the way your soul (not your personality) planned them before birth so you can learn your lessons and grow spiritually.

However, you do have free will to make the most of every situation. You can also limit your future life karma by treating others as you want to be treated now. Below we list five ways you may be betraying your lover, possibly even without realizing you’re doing so.

1. Emotional Cheating

You have an emotionally intimate relationship with someone other than your spouse. You’re not sleeping with this other person, but still you have an intimate connection that you explore and nurture. If this sort of relationship isn’t acceptable with your spouse, then you are betraying them.

2. Fantasizing Outside the Relationship

You’re regularly fantasizing about someone else, even while in bed with your partner. If you and your partner have an agreement that it’s okay to do so, then fine, but beyond that, it’s a form of betrayal.

3. Disregarding Personal Health

You stop maintaining your health, take up unhealthy habits that cause your looks to deteriorate and, or otherwise are not making the most of your appearance and looking your best for your partner.

4. Decreasing Sexual Frequency

You limit the amount of sex between you and your significant other. Worse, you start to offer sex to your partner only under certain conditions, perhaps in exchange for something such as giving you more of his or her disposable income.

5. Cutting Off Your Partner

You cut off your lover emotionally or intellectually, or otherwise limit or sever vital human contact. Sure, relationships go through certain stages where you may change the way you relate, but to intentionally starve him or her of the type of emotional or mental contact you had prior is a form of betrayal.

6. Financial Irresponsibility

You are not financially responsible, spend more than you both make or have, and risk his or her good credit standing. Telling your lover he or she should be making more money isn’t an excuse for spending too much.

7. Just Pretending

You pretend you are in lust and love but you aren’t. Nobody likes to be with someone who really isn’t into them, but pretends to be.

8. Loving Someone Else

You are in love with someone else and, or you simply don’t love your partner anymore, yet you remain with them and pretend everything is great because you don’t want to hurt their feelings. This is actually selfish because you are keeping them from being with someone more compatible.

In a karmic sense, all of this behavior is ultimately betrayal and just as negative as fooling around behind your lover’s back. In fact, altering your behavior in any way, to your lover’s detriment, after a commitment has been made, is cheating. What to do if you are on the receiving end, you ask? We don’t recommend retaliating with similar behavior, since it will incur negative karma.

But if you’ve done all you can do to help your relationship, and your partner refuses to do their part, it is your right to sever the connection and leave if the betrayal or betrayals push the union beyond repair. You won’t incur any negative karma if you leave as peacefully and fairly as you can.

Related Posts

1. How Keeping A Journal Can Reveal If Your Lover Is Cheating
2. To Confront Or Not Confront: A Mistress Or A Lover
3. What Should I Do if My Family Doesn’t Approve of My Lover?
4. A Mama’s Boy, His Mother, And His Lover
5. Loving The Unlovable Parts Of Your Lover

Inexperienced swingers, however, may find that the first few times are a little nerve wracking, especially if it involves a group of people.

If you find yourself being nervous during a swinging session, you might need to back up a little bit until you get more comfortable.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My wife and I just experienced our first swinger encounter, I am a very lucky man in having a wife that is so open to this. She was great – I, however, was a little nervous – so nervous that I had a difficult time getting an erection (this has never happened before!). I don’t know if it was the fact that I was being watched by 15 people or what… Do you have any tips to help me over come this problem of not being able to step up to bat?  Thank you.

–Adam, CO

Performance Anxiety

Some people get “performance anxiety.” This might happen when you’re alone with your partner, but it’s more likely to happen if you’re swinging with a couple or having a more voyeuristic adventure with more people.

You may find that you can’t get an erection or if you’re a woman, you may feel more shy and self conscious than before. It can be embarrassing, especially if you’re unable to get or maintain an erection, to have performance anxiety while swinging. What can you do?

Back Up A Little Bit

Stop and think about what might have made you uncomfortable while swinging. How did you feel? Were you nervous? Were you shy or self conscious? Were you wearing an outfit that was uncomfortable or you didn’t feel sexy in? Were there a number of people watching you swing?

Dig deep to find the culprit of your performance anxiety. There is a cause. Once you find it, you can begin to solve the problem so it doesn’t happen again. For example, if your swinging session involved more people than just the other couple you were swinging with, you can try swinging again with just one other person or perhaps just another couple.

If you were wearing an uncomfortable or unflattering outfit that made you feel self conscious or out of place, you can try swinging again while wearing something you feel really dynamite in. Don’t let one bout of performance anxiety turn you off from swinging forever.

Feeling Comfortable

For swinging to be successful, you need to feel comfortable. Knowing this beforehand allows you to ensure that you’re wearing something comfortable and you’re swinging with people you feel comfortable with, but too many couples find out too late that swinging requires a good deal of confidence and ease for it to turn out well.

If you’ve already had some performance anxiety or a bad swinging experience, take some time out to collect yourself and then try to get back in the groove. You can improve your body image by eating right and exercising if you’re feeling self conscious about yourself, or you can try to make swinger friends that you’re more comfortable with.

Talk with your partner about what makes you comfortable and uncomfortable so you can ensure your next swinging session will be more successful.

If you find that you have performance anxiety every time you swing, you might want to rethink the swinging aspect of your relationship. Swinging isn’t for everyone and that’s okay. If you find yourself uncomfortable and nervous every time, re-evaluate your need to swing and what is behind that.

You might be able to find something that enhances your relationship and your sex life that you’re a little more comfortable with than swinging.

Related Posts

1. Q&A: I Want to Take My Girlfriend to a Swinger Club
2. Can Swinger Relationships REALLY Work?
3. Swinger Danger! What To Do When Swinging Goes Wrong?
4. New Swinger Concern – What If We Can’t Agree?
5. How Do I Get Past My First Time Swinger Fears?

Just think about it: with our fast-paced culture and hectic schedules, it’s no wonder that we have very little time for things that require us to slow down and take our time especially when it comes to our sex lives!

Everyday Life Gets in the Way

After all, each one of us is guilty of this behavior. Perhaps you had a long day at the office, or you’ve got a big meeting to prepare for in the early morning.  Either way, when you engage in lovemaking with your partner, your mind is somewhere else completely.

You’re focusing on that big report or review at the office, or maybe you’re forming a mental to-do list.  Since you’re mind is entirely occupied by distracting thoughts, you can’t focus on lovemaking, and you deny yourself the pleasure that you need.

It’s not that difficult to see why we let the stress of our daily lives negatively affect our sexual energy.

Stress Affects Our Sex Lives

While the act of sex may not require that much thought, achieving an orgasm takes focus which can be hard to do if our minds are focused on our day at the office! Yet if you’re looking to reclaim your sexual pleasure from the stresses of modern life, and to achieve that elusive whole body orgasm that you’ve longed for, follow these rules to max out your soulful sack sessions!

When you want to get your partner revved up for a bedroom romp, chances are you probably focus less on touching and caressing and more on the actual act of sex.  Yet if you’re looking to reunite your body and soul for a whole body orgasm that will have you seeing stars, you need to take a step back and focus more on the pleasure that comes with erotic touching.

Max Out Your Partner’s Bliss

Not only can you max out your partner’s bliss by taking the time to caress him or her, but you’ll be heightening the anticipation for lovemaking – a key ingredient for that whole body orgasm!

Erotic touching is an intense and soulful experience, so be sure to engage in intimate behavior: stare into your partner’s eyes while gently stroking him or her along the length of the body.  Use erotic touching as a means to explore your partner like never before.

Sure, you may know every nook and cranny of your partner’s body, but how well do you really know it?  By using erotic touching, you’ll experience your lover’s body in a new and more spiritual way that will intensify your relationship, both in and out of the bedroom.

Erotic Touching Melts the Tension

An additional bonus: erotic touching can melt the tension that builds up in our bodies from experiencing the daily stress of our modern lives.  After all, touch plays an important role in melting away stress and tension.

Just think of all the times that a friendly hug or gentle kiss instantly made you feel more relaxed.  Well, this especially applies to your sex life as well, as intimate touching can make you feel relaxed and stress-free.  Once that tension is sapped, your mind will be free to focus on your lovemaking which eliminates those pesky roadblocks towards achieving orgasm!

Ideally, erotic touching will build up that first layer of sensation in your quest for the whole body orgasm.  Spiritual sex is a multi-layered experience, where sensations are built upon one another until finally culminating in a powerful and soulful orgasm.

Treat Foreplay as the Main Act

So don’t just rush through erotic touching and jump straight into intercourse; instead, treat foreplay as the main act in which you build up a strong foundation towards reaching the brink of sexual nirvana.  This is a focal point of tantric sex, in which lovemaking has no final destination, but instead is a spiritual journey which must be enjoyed.

If you approach your sack sessions with this view point, you’ll not only free up your mind from tension and stress; you’ll be more likely to achieve a powerful orgasm because you’re taking the pressure off of it.  Sounds a bit backwards, but the less you focus on orgasming, the more likely you will!

The layering of sensations is critical towards intensifying relaxation, arousal and eventually orgasm.

Think of each sensation as a pleasurable journey with no destination in sight; therefore, when you finally are at the brink of pleasure, you’ll easily achieve that elusive whole body orgasm, and what greater stress relief is there than an intense orgasm with your lover that has you seeing stars?

Related Posts

1. Q&A: Is Sex Good For The Body?
2. How To F#ck Her Like A Porn Star… And How Even The Skinniest Dweeb Can Give Any Woman BODY-QUAKING Orgasms
3. 9 Soul Mate Myths That Will Screw Up Your Love Life
4. Orgasm Tips: The Technique That Will Make Your Partner Orgasm Like Crazy!
5. Manifesting A Soul Mate – Is It Really Possible?

Sexual arousal, especially for most women, comes from emotional intimacy and connection. While many men can have sex purely from physical desire, many women need emotional intimacy and connection to feel physical desire. While many men might love it if their wife would suddenly start to fondle their penis, many women feel violated when their husband grabs their breasts, crotch, or butt.

Gender Differences About Touch

I often hear from the woman I work with, “I just feel groped and disgusted when my husband grabs my breasts. Why doesn’t that turn me on? Is there something wrong with me?”

Many women do not feel drawn to touch or be touched in a sexual way until the feeling of love is flowing between them and their partner. Yet women have been trained to believe that they should respond sexually in the same way men do, and often feel inadequate when they do not feel turned on by the things that turn on men.

Hazel and Daniel were struggling with this issue of lack of sexuality. Just before their counseling session with me, they had a fight because Daniel fondled Hazel’s breasts while she was dressing in the morning, and then got angry when she didn’t like it.

Hazel had often expressed to Daniel that what turned her on was the deep kissing that resulted from emotional intimacy. Yet, even though Daniel said he wanted to make love, he would not intimately kiss Hazel.

Why?

As we explored the issue, it became apparent that neither Hazel nor Daniel felt safe with intimacy. While they loved each other, their fears of rejection and engulfment made them feel unsafe with each other.

When Hazel got critical, Daniel took it personally, and was unable to set loving limits against being controlled by Hazel. He would get angry and withdrawn, which would trigger Hazel’s fears of rejection.

Both Hazel and Daniel were afraid that if they were emotionally intimate, they would give themselves up to avoid rejection. Keeping the emotional distance felt safer than risking losing themselves or losing the other if they did not give themselves up. Yet sexuality could not flow without the loving feelings that come from emotional intimacy.

Be Conscious Of Your Intent

The problem was that neither Hazel nor Daniel were conscious of their intent most of the time. In most of their interactions, both of them were unconsciously protecting themselves from rejection or engulfment, rather than consciously thinking about what would be loving to themselves and each other.

Because their intent was to protect themselves, they were often trying to control how the other felt about them while at the same time protecting against being controlled.

Each would respond to the other’s rejecting behavior with their own rejecting behavior, anger, criticalness, blame, withdrawal, resistance. Each would attempt to control how the other felt about them by not telling their truth, not taking loving care of themselves.

Each were handing the responsibility for their feelings to the other and then getting upset when the other did not do what they wanted. Neither were showing up as loving adults to take care of their own feeling in loving ways.

Relationship Safety

While it may seem roundabout to deal with a lack of lovemaking by focusing on one’s intent, this is exactly what needs to happen.

Until both Hazel and Daniel become conscious of their intent and start to choose the intent to learn about loving themselves, instead unconsciously choosing the intent to protect/control, they will not create the inner safety necessary for intimacy. Until they practice taking personal responsibility for their own feelings, they will continue to fear rejection and engulfment and protect against it.

You cannot have the joy of sharing love and passion while protecting against loss of self and loss of other. Love and passion do not flow when you are trying to control and not be controlled. As long as protecting against rejection and engulfment is more important than loving yourself, you will not create the inner safety necessary to create relationship safety.

Relationship safety creates the arena for love and intimacy to flow, leading to the physical sharing of love that occurs when people are deeply connected.

You cannot change what you do not know you are doing. When noticing your intention, to protect/control or to learn about loving yourself and your partner, becomes your highest priority, you will begin the process of healing your sex life.

Related Posts

1. How To Make Love Making a Real Love Making Experience With Touch
2. We Don’t Have Hot Sex Anymore. Can We Get It Back?
3. How To Make Love To A Woman The Right Way
4. Help! I Can’t Feel It When We Have Sex Anymore. Is My Sex Life Over?
5. Understanding The Difference Between Getting Love And Sharing Love

Nearly five years since starting Christian Pro Erotic, after years of struggling with my faith and my sexual needs, after hearing the stories of many people of faith in the same situation I finally read the article in the July 7th Time Magazine.

Sexuality for Married Couples

And God Said, “Just Do It” is about Christian fellowships and churches tackling sexuality for married couples. It seems a movement is burgeoning where ministers and ministries are focusing on one issue: married couples in the church need more sex!

Finally, after so many years, we are cleaning a stubborn speck in the eye. Instead of putting down those in the world whose marriages do not live up to the snuff of church standards Christians will finally try to take out the plank of high divorce rates and failed sex lives from the eye of the body of Christ.

Christian couples are finding programs such as New Directions Christian Church (Memphis, Tennessee) with their series“40 Nights of Grreat Sex” or Relevant Church (Tampa, Florida) with their “30-Day Sex Challenge“ available to them to help their marriages grow and prosper.

I can tell you 20 years ago or so the advice would have been to “just pray about it and God will give you the clues to figure our how it will work out”.

A step in the right direction

Not anymore.

Now along with the Good Book we are finding couples armed with (gasp) the Joy of Sex in their arsenal to take back their bedrooms from a stale existence.

To me this is a step in the right direction and one which is way overdue; if these materials were available to Christian couples in the past–leadership and members–many marriages could have avoided heartache and tragedy in their lives. To realize they are failing in the battle in the bedroom is a signal playtime is over. The church is ready to catch up with many other couples who made each night a night to remember.

The church had a flimsy argument to folks outside the church about engaging in spicing up their bedroom life. We kept serving Vanilla when everyone else dove into cartons of Rocky Road and Cookies and Cream (whether you add this to your bedroom play is up to you).

The church balked at toys, oils, massages and (gasp) alternative venues to make things interesting. The thing I could not understand was how those folks who lasted 40 plus years together keep it together when it came to times of intimacy?

The road that led to adultery

It made it seem the wife just lied back and took what the husband gave her year end and year out without question. If they (she) did question (God forbid) then it would mean points off the eternal trail. It is the kind of thinking that opened the doors to all sorts of problems such as adultery, divorce, etc. Husbands would find themselves caught up in adultery and slaves to pornography; women found themselves in the arms of another man (or woman) to ease the pain of such a boring life.

Snubbing the church?

I am sure there are some who see such “straying” tactics as an attempt to snub the nose over the traditions of the church (i.e. “if it was good for mother and father, then it’s good enough for me). Some would even say our society is over saturated with sex and to adopt some of the manuals of the world would mean we would be giving in to the enemy. That reasoning is flawed and failed. When did sex become the enemy here?

Making sex your friend

These churches are finally realizing beating up on one of God’s greatest gifts to humanity is not the direction to give to couples. Making sex their friend, and making sex work for them, can really kill the boredom and stress many families face in their homes.

One thing I like from these teachings are the stress of having husbands do their share around the house and make the wife’s to do list shorter. The consequence of not doing them: you, sir, become part of her list of “to do”. Sex then is reduced to a chore instead of a delight.

My prayer is they continue with this and couples can grow to become stronger and more vibrant couples. I also hope the church would take a good hard study over sexuality regarding the single person because I think if they are prepared to face sexuality before marriage they can handle the rigors of day to day life with another mate during marriage (again, my opinion).

But who wants to throw dust in the eyes of progress? I am just glad groups like ours and programs like the those in Tennessee and Florida are helping to take the plank out of the churches eyes so it can see better.

Related Posts

1. Christian Sex Toys – WTF?
2. Self Pleasure – Enjoying Erotica on Your Own…
3. How Well Do You REALLY Know Your Partner? 1000 ‘Must Ask’ Questions for Couples
4. Finally! The Truth About Female Ejaculation…
5. 5 Sex Tips For Married Couples

As time goes on, the sex life continues to dwindle and sex with your partner becomes routine.

Your interest in sex with your partner may lessen, but this doesn’t mean that you love your partner less or your relationship is doomed. It just means your relationship has progressed naturally!

Can having a threesome bring the spice back into your partnership?

You had mentioned the other day that some therapists actually recommend bringing

a third person into the bedroom to spice up your sex life. Please explain…

Threesomes aren’t for everyone.

It’s true. Bringing another person or another couple into your sex lives can be fun and enjoyable and ramp up your sex lives. It’s also true that having a threesome or swinging isn’t for every couple. Only you and your partner can decide whether incorporating other people into your sex lives is the right choice for you. How do you know?

• You and your partner are happy with each other in every other aspect of your relationship
• You and your partner aren’t the jealous type
• You are secure in your relationship with this person and have no self esteem issues
• You and your partner have talked the situation over . . . and over, and over and over.

After talking to your partner about having a threesome or swinging, if you feel it’s the right decision, go for it! Work out who you think the third person or couple should be and talk to them. Go over what you feel is right and what you’re comfortable with and what actions are considered out of bounds.  Then have fun!

Playing it safe.

When you’re in a monogamous relationship, you generally don’t have to worry about sexually transmitted diseases. If you’ve been in a relationship for quite awhile, it can be difficult to remember safety when making the switch to incorporating sex with another person or couple.

If you are going to have sexual relations with another person, it’s important to take safety precautions so you can keep both you and your partner free of sexually transmitted diseases. Getting tested is the only sure way to make sure neither party has any STD’s but if that’s not an option; you can use other methods as well.

Use condoms when having oral sex or intercourse and use dental dams when performing oral sex on a woman.  To be extra safe, you can even use latex gloves or finger cots if you plan to be using your hands at all.

Having a threesome or incorporating another couple into your sex life isn’t something everyone should do. It’s a decision that must be made carefully by all parties that will be involved. The most important thing you can do other than being safe is to talk to your partner and talk to everyone that is going to be involved.

Make sure everyone is comfortable with the situation and make sure the boundaries are clear and known by everyone. If you’re not comfortable having a threesome or swinging, it doesn’t mean your sex life is doomed forever. You can incorporate lots of other new things, such as sex toys or role-playing. Find out what turns you and your partner on and have at it, as long as no one is getting hurt (too much!)

Related Posts

1. How Therapy Can Actually Destroy Your Marriage
2. Britney Spears “3″ – Are Threesomes “In?”
3. Q&A: Swinging & Threesomes – When Things Go Bump In The Night
4. An Effective, Natural Alternative To Viagra And Cialis
5. Laugh Till You Cry… This is Real Alternative Medicine! (hilarious video)

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It can be difficult getting over the other women but not impossible.

Here’s how to come to terms with your partner’s past partners.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I have been with my boyfriend for over a year now. When we were first together he said that he was a virgin. Since he was 20 I found this surprising but I trusted him. Only after I slept with him did he confess that he had been with someone when he was deployed in Korea (he’s in the army). He paid for it I think she was only a bartender not a regular hooker. She also did oral on him and he has received “hand jobs” and oral one other time. Now that I know all these I can’t get out of my head of him with other women and I am constantly worrying that I am not the best out of them. How do I get over the idea of my boyfriend being with a hooker of all people and the others? And to stop comparing myself?

- Laura, Ohio

Realize They’ve Had Other Partners

The first step in getting over the other women is coming to terms with the fact they’ve been with someone else, or many other someone elses. You’ve probably been with your share of someone else’s too. Is this a bad thing? Is this something that should become a big deal between you and your partner? Definitely not!

Having a sexual past is something that almost everyone has. Who cares about the numbers? Who’s keeping score? You should discuss this with your partner only if you’re discussing sexually transmitted diseases and whether or not you are both going to get tested, etc.

This is not a discussion that should be had “just to find out.” You’ll end up asking yourself a million other questions! How many were there? Were they better than me? You’re better off sticking to the realization that yes, your partner has had other partners. You have too.

Sex Is Not Love And Love Is Not Sex

It’s really very simple. Someone can have sex without love and love without sex. It’s that simple. Just because your partner has had sexual relationships with other people doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you. A critical step into getting over the other women is realizing that he loves you. He is with you and he chooses to be – you’re not making him. Realize that what you share with him is in the here and now, and is something he wants to be involved in. If he didn’t, he wouldn’t be with you. He’d be with someone else.

Yes, They Were Different

Women who have trouble getting over the other women are often left asking themselves who was better or worse. There’s a simple solution to this issue, although it’s never easy to swallow. Stop thinking about how you rank and realize that a sexual relationship is always different from person to person and that’s all! It’s simply just . . . different.

Building Trust

If your partner has ever lied to you about who he has been with, you may have another issue on your hands. Trust is essential in a relationship and if this is an issue you’re dealing with, it’s important that you build and grow your foundation of trust before you tackle anything else. Even if your partner hasn’t lied to you, you need to trust that he is with you. Trust that your partner won’t go running off to be with someone else just because he’s been with others before you.

There is more to your relationship than just sex, and there’s more to your relationship than just love. It’s an entirely dynamic and multi-faceted relationship that runs on many different levels.

So relax! Enjoy being with your partner and being in the here and now instead of focusing on the past – you or your partner’s past. You’ll both be much happier that way!

Related Posts

1. Lying and Dishonesty: Are You in a Toxic Relationship?
2. Q&A: What Are Some Ways To Increase Sperm Count?
3. How to Tell If Someone’s Lying Just By Looking At Their Hands…
4. How To Argue Without Things Getting Out Of Hand
5. Watching Porn – How Do I Make My Lying Husband Come Clean?

Many people want to test the boundaries and do as much with each other without a condom as possible. Some people say that it feels better and others just like the physical closeness and intimacy.

One thing is for sure though, it is always better to be safe than sorry!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

The white/clear liquid that comes from a guy as lube, does that contain sperms?

Is it enough to get a female pregnant?

-Tori, CA

There’s always a risk of pregnancy and STD’s when you have sex.

Yes, it’s true.  If you’re having sex at all, be it protected or unprotected sex , you risk conceiving a child or contracting a sexually transmitted disease.

It’s pretty black and white, but there are many misconceptions when it comes to this. Even with condoms, there is still a 0.01% chance you may become pregnant when having intercourse with your partner. It’s important to look at the situation in a realistic light. The only completely safe sex is no sex at all.

What fluids actually contain sperm?

The only fluid that contains sperm is the ejaculate – theoretically. However, there may be some sperm hanging out in the urethra from an earlier ejaculation that can get passed to the vagina in the clear fluid that comes out of the penis during heightened stimulation. Therefore, to be safe you should assume that any fluid that comes out of the penis can contain sperm!

If you want to avoid getting pregnant or contracting a sexually transmitted disease, your best bet is to simply have your partner wear a condom for any sexual activity that would involve the penis getting near or in the vagina.

Be safe, not sorry.

If you’re not prepared for the consequences of having unprotected sex, such as contracting an STD or conceiving a child, it is extremely important that you practice having safer sex at all times! If you and your partner are able to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases and the tests are negative, you can switch to spermicide or hormonal birth control pills instead of condoms to allow for more intimacy and pleasure for both you and your partner.

If you are having unprotected sexual intercourse with your partner, you need to acknowledge the fact that the risk of getting pregnant or contracting a sexually transmitted disease is much higher than if you and your partner used a condom.  Although you are not completely eliminating the risk of pregnancy and STD’s with a condom, you are reducing your chances significantly. It is much better to be safe than sorry!

Just remember that the decisions you make in bed can certainly affect the rest of your life and act accordingly. Countless individuals have made a split second error in judgment in the heat of the moment, only to realize that it is too late and they have an STD or a new baby to take care of.  Just act responsibly!

Use protection any time you and your partner are ready to have intercourse and don’t let your partner’s penis near your vagina unless he has a condom on if you don’t want to get pregnant.  Remember that any fluid that comes from the penis has the potential to carry sperm and sexually transmitted diseases.

If you and your partner stay safe, you can enjoy each other sexually while reducing your risks tremendously.  You decide!

Related Posts

1. Is It Safe For A Pregnant Woman To Have Sex?
2. Is It Safe To Have Sex While My Wife Is Pregnant?
3. Sex Myths Exposed – Can Your Girlfriend Get Pregnant from Taking a Bath Together?
4. Q&A: Is My Girl Pregnant? How Can I Tell?
5. Sperm, Semen and Safe Sex – What You Need To Know

Sure, he’s been pulling out or you’ve been using the calendar method, but how risky are you actually being? Can you get pregnant?

There’s no easy answer to this question, but the answer is always the same. Yes!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 4 years now. We’re having sex like a couple and he wants to get married and we been having unprotected sex, well he went to pull out but made it to my leg before his cum came out could I get pregnant from that?

- Alyson, Nebraska

Any sex at all can lead to pregnancy.

While birth control methods work well, whether you’re using hormonal birth control, barrier methods or spermicides, you still run the risk of getting pregnant. Your risk of getting pregnant as a result of protected sex is much, much lower than if you were having unprotected sex, but there is still a risk. The only time you are fully protected against pregnancy is if you’re abstinent.

Pulling out…does it work?

Pulling out is a popular birth control method of choice for many couples who do not want to wear condoms and do not have access to hormonal birth controls. It is sad to say, but pulling out before ejaculation does not protect you much from getting pregnant! It is not a safe method of birth control!

If any sperm get in or near the vagina, you could get pregnant. When pulling out, this could happen a number of ways. Your partner could fail to pull out quickly enough and ejaculate inside your vagina, dramatically increasing your chances of conceiving a child. Your partner could ejaculate on your leg and the ejaculate could get onto the outside of your vagina. If the sperm travel to your fallopian tubes (which they can), you could get pregnant.

Let’s not forget that men also emit pre-ejaculate during sex that they usually can’t feel, that can contain sperm as well. All of these things could get you pregnant!  It is much safer to use protection of some sort while engaging in sexual activity.

Are we being too risky?

What is considered “too risky” is up to you. Are you prepared to conceive a child? Are you prepared for the consequences of what could happen if you become pregnant? Have you talked to your partner about how the situation would be handled should you find out that you are pregnant?

If you are not ready to become pregnant, have a child, prepare to end the pregnancy or place the child for adoption after the birth, you should seriously reconsider having unprotected sex even if you’re pulling out or using the calendar method! If you do believe that you and your partner can truly handle the prospect of getting pregnant after having unprotected sex, then it’s up to you whether or not you wish to continue having unprotected sex.

Talk with your partner and talk with your doctor about how you can start having safer sex. If you do not want to become pregnant, you need to use some method of birth control. Condoms work especially well and are easy to purchase from supermarkets and convenience stores. Hormonal birth controls and spermicides are effective as well, and for extra protection you could consider using both.

The best person to counsel you on how to have protected sex is your doctor or a sex therapist or counselor! The bottom line is if you don’t want to get pregnant, don’t risk it with unprotected sex, ever!

Related Posts

1. Safe Sex: Can That Clear Fluid Really Get Me Pregnant?
2. Q&A: Is My Girl Pregnant? How Can I Tell?
3. Sex Myths Exposed – Can Your Girlfriend Get Pregnant from Taking a Bath Together?
4. Is It Safe To Have Sex While My Wife Is Pregnant?
5. Is It Safe For A Pregnant Woman To Have Sex?

How can you start swinging slowly, and in a way that makes both partners completely comfortable?

While the only rules for swinging for you are set by you and your partner, there are some general guidelines that can help make things easier for the both of you.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My fiancée and I are talking about trying the swinging lifestyle and we are a little unsure of how to start and move into it gradually so that everyone is comfortable. What do you suggest?

- Randa, Alabama

Ease Into It

Getting involved in the swinging lifestyle slowly is probably the best way to go about it. It’s great if you and your partner have made this decision together before starting to swing, instead of getting caught in the moment before having discussed the topic. The most important thing you can do when considering swinging is talk about it. Talk about every aspect of swinging, even if it seems like a small issue.

Ask some important questions. Why do you want to swing? What turns you on about swinging? Discuss with your partner how you feel about swinging and listen to them as well. It’s extremely vital that you both are on the same page before you take the plunge! You should also evaluate your relationship as it stands before you venture into the swinging lifestyle. If your relationship is in any way in trouble, swinging is not going to help! You need a strong relationship foundation before you start swinging with your partner.

Make The Rules Clear!

When discussing swinging with your partner, it’s important that you hash out the details. Decide what is appropriate during swinging and what isn’t. You don’t want to be in the heat of the moment and not know if something is okay, or to have to stop and ask permission.

Or worse, you could do something that offends your partner or makes them uncomfortable without knowing beforehand whether that particular action was okay or not. Sit down with your partner and really go over what you feel is okay during a swinging session and what is off limits. You’ll both be happier in the end that you agreed on the details before you started swinging.

Find A Couple That Matches Your Style

It is just as important to find a couple into swinging that shares your same interests as it is to talk about swinging first. If you’re new to swinging, you might try to find a couple that is also new to swinging, or at least find a couple that is sensitive to those trying it for the first time.

Find a couple that you can talk to about what makes you comfortable and uncomfortable, and how to handle things as they arise. You’ll need to be able to communicate both between each other as well as with the members of the other couple, so make sure you find a couple that you’re comfortable talking to!

Above all, you need to talk to your partner. Talk and talk some more!  You can make swinging much easier and much more comfortable for you both to get into if you’re both on the same page when it comes to what is okay and what isn’t. Talk to each other as you experience swinging as well – as long as you keep the lines of communication open between everyone involved, you can set yourself up for fun and exciting swinging.

Related Posts

1. Swinger Danger! What To Do When Swinging Goes Wrong?
2. How To Find Your Swinging Comfort Zone
3. The Psychology Of Swinging – What’s A Curious Girl To Do?
4. Are You Dabbling With The Idea Of Swinging?
5. Swinging vs Polyamory – Can You REALLY Have One Without the Other?

If your partner insists on having you wear a condom during sex every time, you may be frustrated, especially if she’s already using another type of birth control such as the pill.

Why do you have to wear a condom every time?  Can you convince her otherwise?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hi I’ve seen your videos on YouTube. I’ve enjoyed learning new things and love that you’re so willing to share your knowledge. I’ve been seeing this girl for a little while now, things are great, we’re very comfortable and physically compatible in bed, but I haven’t finished inside of her yet.  She wants me to, but so far she insists on using a condom and I can’t climax with it on and it’s getting frustrating. The part that really bothers me is that our relationship is suffering because of it. I want to understand why she wants to use a condom when she’s already on the pill.  I’m not looking for unprotected sex. What can I do to save our sex life?

- Stan, Ohio

A Layered Defense

First of all, whether you wear a condom or not is not your choice. It’s hers. That may seem a bit unfair, but in all reality, if you want to have intercourse with her, you’re going to have to don the wet suit before you dive if she asks you to. You might be able to better accept the fact that she consistently asks you to use a condom if you understand why.

Don’t be shy. Just ask her!  The topic is probably open to discussion, but it’s important not to be critical. Chances are, she’s really not ready to have a baby. She may be doubling up on protection. Birth control in conjunction with condom use provides an extra layer of protection and makes the probability of conceiving a child much, much lower. I

f this is her reasoning, you really can’t refute that. You can suggest using spermicide instead of a condom, but it truly is her decision.

Sexually Transmitted Diseases . . . .

Your partner may insist that you wear a condom for every act of sexual intercourse to reduce the risk of contracting or passing sexually transmitted diseases. This is a legitimate reason for insisting on condom use, because no other type of birth control or contraception will protect against sexually transmitted diseases.

This is something you have to ask your partner . Is she afraid of contracting or passing a sexually transmitted disease? If this is the case, you might be able to suggest that you both get tested. If you’re both tested for STD’s and come up clean, she may not ask you to wear a condom anymore.

But I Can’t Climax!

If you’re anxious to get rid of condoms because you’re not able to climax with a condom on, it may be something you need to examine on your own. Most men are able to climax with a condom, so if you are consistently unable to, you may want to try a few new things.

Try using a little lubricant on the inside of the condom, or have lots of foreplay so you’re very close to orgasm before you begin intercourse. You can always get the input of your doctor too.

It’s important that you reach a compromise with your partner. If you are able to switch to birth control and spermicide instead of condoms and birth control, it may solve the problem. If you are able to get tested for sexually transmitted diseases and you are both clear, you may be able to engage in sex with your partner without a condom.

Just remember, while it is mostly your partner’s choice, you can always choose not to have sex with your partner. If it is that important to you and you and your partner can’t reach a compromise, you may both be better off going your separate ways. You should know that a condom is as much for your protection as it is hers though!

Related Posts

1. How To Put On A Condom
2. Q&A: Help! My Girlfriend Does NOT Want Me To Use A Condom
3. Q&A: Help! My Boyfriend Doesn’t Want To Use A Condom!
4. Do I Really Need To Wear A Condom?
5. Condoms 101: How To Buy A Condom

We’re different shapes and sizes when it comes to our chests, butts and legs, so why wouldn’t it be true with our genitals?

Well, it is true.  Everyone’s penis and vagina is shaped differently from someone else’s, so it’s entirely possible to get a mismatch in shape and size.

What can you do if you feel like you’re physically and sexually incompatible with your partner?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’m married and had an affair. Okay, I’m not perfect. It’s been over for a while now.  But this isn’t about that.

I’ve found over the last couple of years that the shape of my wife’s vagina isn’t — I don’t know — right for me.  I have a very hard time climaxing with her.  I am reasonably certain that it isn’t something about me, because I haven’t had the same problem with other women.

Is there something we can do, or am I doomed to a lackluster sex life?

- Brian, Oregon

Explore other avenues

Make sure you’re not judging your mismatch in shape and size solely on one or two sexual positions.

Grab a copy of the Kama Sutra and give a few other angles a try. You might be having trouble “clicking” with your partner in one position, but from a different angle or in a different position, you two might fit together like Legos.

Even if all the possible positions and angles have been exhausted and you’re still not getting anywhere, try a few other sexual techniques before you give up all together.  You can certainly try oral sex or anal sex, or try using toys, lubricants and other sexual enhancers.

The idea is to try more than one way to have sex with your partner so if it still isn’t working, you can truly say that you did try and that you know it’s not.

What if it really isn’t working?

That’s when it comes time to really look at your relationship.  Is your relationship strong enough to withstand a lukewarm sex life?  Do you love your partner enough to want to be with them and share your life with them even in spite of problems in the bedroom and incompatibly shaped genitals?  If so, then relax.

Enjoy being with your partner and living life with them. There are other ways to be intimate with your partner and feel close to them outside of the bedroom.  Depending on the strength of your partnership and your trust in each other, you could consider having an open relationship.  If you do so, just remember to be safe and smart about it.

Although it may seem harsh, if you really take a look at your relationship and find that without a great sex life there isn’t really anything else there, it might be time to move on.  This won’t be easy, especially if you care a lot about your partner.  But you have to be honest with yourself. If it’s not working, admit it.  You’ll feel better about this decision if you know you really did try to make it work.

No matter how this situation ends, one thing is for sure. You need to be honest with your partner about what is going on.  It’s not fair to keep them in the dark about something that is rocking the boat or could potentially end the relationship.  Share with your partner how you’re feeling sexually, and how you feel like there is a mismatch in the mechanics.  Do they feel the same way?

Let your partner in when you’re trying new and exciting things in the bedroom and if it’s really, truly not working, it’s important that you are honest with your partner about that as well.  Discuss the possibility of an open relationship or the possibility of ending the relationship.  Perhaps you can both come to an agreement or compromise that works well for you and your partner.

Related Posts

1. When Is A Woman Physically Ready To Have Sex?
2. Is Your Life Too Busy for Sex?
3. Q&A: How Can We Spice Up Our Sex Life?
4. How to Spice Up Your Sex Life and Save Your Relationship
5. When Preoccupation With The Stuff Of Life Interferes With Your Love Life

We hate them for being unfaithful to their wives, husbands, girlfriends, or boyfriends, for breaking their contract to be faithful.  We love country and western songs of retaliation for cheaters. (e.g. Carrie Underwood’s “Before He Cheats”) In Texas, not so long ago, it was legal to shoot your wife if you found her having sex with someone else.

Cheaters are considered the worst kind of bad guy. Our hearts go out to the poor victims of a cheater’s actions.  It makes for great drama involving our anger, rage and sense of self-righteousness.

Why cheating is so disturbing

The whole concept of “cheating” is something I find intriguing.  If you have a relationship with someone, don’t you want them to want to only be with you?  Of course you do!

That’s why it breaks our hearts when they chose to do otherwise.  But if they want to be with someone else, well, we don’t really have the relationship we thought we did do we? That, to me is the place for the pain.

Cheating is a symptom of a relationship that is not complete.  I think this is what “Dr. Laura” was trying to say about Elliott Spitzer’s wife, not that she was responsible for his cheating, but that, hey, something had to be amiss in the relationship for this to be taking place.

When someone “cheats” they are seen as the “bad guy” and the poor hapless “victim” is the object of our compassion, while the “cheater”, well, he’s just “bad”.

We have these marriage contracts and unwritten contracts with our partners that we will be “faithful” to them and our rage is incited when they “break the contract”.  We don’t stop and wonder, “Oh, what is going on here that my partner wants to be with someone else?”  No, we think, “That jerk!” (or whatever expletive we choose)

Has someone been wronged?

Our focus is on someone having been “wronged”, “done dirty” and leaving the “victim” to be perceived of as the “helpless victim” of this “bad person” who cheated on them.

When someone is having sex with someone other than his or her partner. Well then, they don’t really consider that person their partner do they?  What has happened is that the partnership is null and void at that point.  So in reality, there can be no “cheating” when there was no partnership in place anyway.

When I realized my husband was having sex with someone else my heart was broken.  But I did not and do not think of him as a “cheater.”  Our relationship was in shambles at that point and he was acting out on the pain he was in by finding someone else.  My heart was broken because the reality of his choosing to have sex with someone else meant that he no longer considered me his partner.  It meant he had given up on us. This is what broke my heart.

What the marriage contract really about

Our contract as a couple is not to ‘be faithful no matter what” or even to remain together no matter what.  Our contract as a couple is to work on being a couple, together.  When that stops happening, then the relationship is in trouble.  The contract is being re-negotiated constantly.

When we settle for a less than intimate connection with our partner we are agreeing to the reality that we are not really in true partnership, and that the possibility exists that our partner may choose to move into an intimate relationship with someone else.

Partnerships, off all sorts, require constant re-negotiation and re-commitment.  When there is a break in the intimate connection of a partnership we are responsible for working toward re-connecting.  If we spend weeks, months, years out of connection with our partner and then find that they have had sex with someone else we have no right to blame them.

I am not saying that having sex outside of a committed relationship is honorable or even “excusable.”  What I am saying is that there is not a “bad guy” and that both parties bear some of the responsibility for what is occurring in the relationship; even the cheating.

Different relationships, different reactions

Christine and Lew had been married for 8 years; they had a lovely 6-year-old daughter and lived in a nice home in Plano.  Lew came to therapy because he had been discovered having had an affair with someone he had met on a business trip.  By the time it had been discovered, Lew had already broken off the relationship with the woman because he had, on his own, realized he didn’t want her, he wanted his wife.

But he knew there were things wrong in the relationship that needed to change and that his having the affair was a symptom of the problems.  Christine came to therapy a few times, but she was so hurt and angry she could not address the problems between them.  She considered that Lew had broken their marital vows and that she had no responsibility in what occurred.

She refused to look at the marriage, insisting that the problem was all with Lew.  She saw herself as a hapless victim of this cheater and that was all there was to the story.  I don’t know what happened to them because with Christine unwilling to continue in therapy, Lew stopped attending.

Contrast this to Jayme and Ryan who have now reconciled after a year of exploring what went wrong with their idyllic marriage.  They both came to recognize that things they did contributed to the environment of disconnection that led up to Jayme going outside of their relationship for intimacy she felt was lacking in her marriage.  She still loved her husband, and didn’t want a divorce, but was feeling a desperately needy.

Her having chosen to remain home with their new child over Ryan’s protests had resulted in Ryan being angry and critical of Jayme.  With all the chemicals of having just had a child going through her system, combined with an immature reaction to his rejection of her led to her reaching out to another man for comfort.  Ryan, hurt and angry, divorced her quickly after discovering the “betrayal”.

But through months of therapy, he was able to resolve his anger by recognizing that he had responsibility in what happened, too.  Jayme, struggles with her shame about what happened, but realizes, too, that she was in a terrible place and made bad choices.  Both have begun to forgive each other, and themselves, for  the behavior that led to the affair.

“Cheating” is only a symptom of a relationship with problems.  Even if the “cheating” is a result of a sexual addiction; the addiction is the problem, not really the cheating.  Addictions are caused by a need, a wound; pain that needs to be resolved by the person and an addicted person cannot express or experience true intimacy.

The partner of someone with a sexual addiction has accepted a relationship with someone who is emotionally unavailable.

If you are concerned your partner is “’cheating” then you have to acknowledge you would not be having that fear if the relationship were right.  Stop ruminating about the cheating and start working on the relationship.

Related Posts

1. Is It Wrong To Stay With Your Cheating Boyfriend?
2. Is It Wrong to be Jealous Of My Partner Watching Porn?
3. When Swinger Sex Goes Horribly Wrong…
4. Swinger Swap Gone Wrong! Can We Recover?
5. Hey, Are You Guys Swingers?

For those who have regular or multiple orgasms, this seems absurd. But for the women who truly have never experienced one, it’s a painful reality.

Fortunately, there is help on the horizon for women who want to enjoy sex with their partners and end up feeling satisfied after a climax.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My husband and I, of 7 months, are rarely having sex.

I was told by OBGYN that I was so small in the vaginal region that I should purchase dilators to prevent tearing.  I have never torn but honestly do not enjoy sex with my husband.   We do talk about it openly and honestly, but in the end, it’s not rewarding for me, and to top it off my husband says “men never have bad sex” what a charmer.

As a good Christian wife, how can I find ways to enjoy it and or have an orgasm? never happened. Suggestions?

-Tabby, TX

Get your doctor’s advice.

Look to your OBGYN for an explanation first.  Is your vagina too small?  Is your cervix tilted, making your G-spot harder to get to?  There are many things that your OBGYN can do to help.  If that road goes nowhere, you can always get the help of a sex therapist.

Sex therapists are wonderful. They’ll get you back on track with your sex life by helping you open up and discover both the physical and psychological reasons that are keeping you from having an orgasm.

Try new things.

Many women who have never had an orgasm admit to never having masturbated or tried a sexual position other than missionary during intercourse with their partners.  First of all, masturbation is one of the best ways to learn about your body and to learn how you like to be touched and what feels good.  If you don’t know what feels good and what will bring you to orgasm, how will your partner know?

You need to be in control so you can give your partner a few directions during the deed to help him to get you to climax.  If you don’t feel comfortable masturbating, start slow.  Start by touching yourself just a few times and go from there.  Relax. Masturbation by men and women is a completely natural thing.

Second, missionary positions rarely lead to orgasms for women so if that’s all you’ve tried or the position you use regularly, it’s a good idea to try a few new positions to figure out which one works the best.  Many women love to be on top.

They can control the speed and depth of penetration as well as gain clitoral friction to help them reach orgasm faster and have a more powerful climax.  There are dozens and dozens of different positions that you can try. Don’t be afraid to speak up and let your partner know that you’d like to do it “this way” for a change.  He’ll probably be more than happy to roll with the punches.

You can also incorporate other things such as sex toys and lubricants to enhance sexual play.  If you’ve never tried oral sex either, that can be a wonderful way to achieve orgasm and since the pleasure is focused solely on the woman, it allows her to revel in what feels good and orgasms will often come naturally this way.

The point is to experiment. If you’ve never had an orgasm, don’t continue doing the same thing you’re doing, hoping that one will come along someday.  Mix it up, try new things and see where they take you.  If you find a good position or a good toy to use, make note of it and use it more often.  Experimenting and trying new things in the bedroom is all part of a healthy sexual relationship, so give it a shot!

Related Posts

1. How Can I Please My Partner With My Small Penis?
2. Is a Small Penis Size Crushing Your Confidence with Women?
3. Men, Think Your Penis Is Too Small? Here’s How To Gain Another Inch Naturally…
4. Q&A: Her Vagina Smells Bad – What Do I Do?
5. Q&A: Does A Woman’s Vagina Get Looser After Having Babies?

Many people believe that sex before marriage is wrong or immoral and others believe that it’s not an issue.

While there may never be a universal agreement on whether sex before marriage is acceptable or not, many men and women find themselves in this situation before they’ve even given much thought to the question.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hello, I’m Lizeth from Turkey. I want to ask a question about virginity. Here doing sex before marriage isn’t common. I have a foreign boyfriend, and he want to have sex with me and  I it want too.

I know in America you don’t care so much about it. I just want to learn your things. Is it bad?

- Lizeth, Turkey

Is having sex before marriage wrong?

That’s not a question that anyone can answer but you. You need to take into consideration everything about the situation before you make the decision to have sex before marriage.

What are your religious or spiritual beliefs?  What are your moral beliefs?  How comfortable are you with the person you want to have sex with?  Do you trust this person?  How comfortable would you be with the consequences of sex should they arise. For example, pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases?

These questions should be answered, but not by your friends, family or anyone else.  You need to sit down and really think about what having sex before marriage means to you.

Does it make you feel wrong?  If it does, don’t do it!  If you really feel that it’s not a big deal, that’s okay too.  Ultimately, it’s all about what you want and how comfortable you are with the idea.

What if I do?

Well, first things first. Use protection.

Sex is enjoyable, but you can get pregnant and you can contract sexually transmitted diseases.  Guard against possible consequences by using sensible protection and by being smart and safe.

If you have any questions about safe sex, pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases, a great person to ask would be your doctor.  They’ll give you unbiased information and can educate you on how to safely have sex while still enjoying your partner.

Remember, sex is something to be enjoyed between two consenting adults.  You should never feel pressured into having sex or feel like you “have to.”

If you want to have sex before marriage, that’s fine.  If you don’t, that’s fine too.

Don’t let anyone else tell you what you should do or persuade you into doing something you don’t want to do.  It’s not up to your friends, family, relatives, church officials, neighbors or anyone else!  Trust your gut instinct and go with what you feel is right.

With that said, you basically want to just be sure you’re ready to take the step forward and have sex before marriage.  If you don’t feel that its right, by all means trust your gut instinct and stay abstinent, at least for now.  If you’re perfectly comfortable having sex before marriage and comfortable with the person you’d like to have sex with, go for it.  It’s your decision.

Don’t rush it though – take your time thinking about the situation and taking a look at how you might feel after the fact.  You don’t have to now, but you might want to later.  That’s fine too.  Remember, you call the shots.  What you say goes!

Related Posts

1. Did Your Marriage Fail Because Marriage is a Flawed Concept or Because You Married the Wrong Person?
2. Q&A: Orgasms, Sex Outside Of Marriage and Islam
3. How Do We know If An Open Marriage Is Right For Us?
4. Marriage – I Don’t Ever Want To Get Married!!!
5. Open Marriage – How Can I Convince My Husband?

There are many “dating experts” that will tell you differently including fellow colleague David Wygant, who by the way gives great advice about other aspects of dating.

I just totally disagree with him on this point! Come on Dave!  You’re a guy and you are in no way guaranteeing that taking it off gets a call back. It just gives the guy a great time in the moment! The problem is, the minute you leave, ladies, you are out of sight out of mind.

Why taking it all off doesn’t work 

I’m not saying be a prude and cover up from the top of your neck to your ankles. I’m saying, ladies, dress to look nice and desirable as a human being not a piece of meat on display. Men don’t fall in love because of their libido.

They fall in love when they allow themselves to give up their heart. Commitment for a man is always a conscious choice. Until a man decides to commit, he will continue to play the field, often with more than one woman at a time.

Sure, most guys will gladly sleep with you, and they’ll be quite pleased with you for satisfying them. Here’s where you will get confused. Just because he sleeps with you doesn’t mean he loves you. In fact, it doesn’t even mean he LIKES you.

It just means you were willing, he was “in the mood” (which is every guy all the time) and so you did it. It in no way means anything else, in HIS mind as far as “commitment.” Rather it will be a pleasant instant gratification moment.

Another negative about jumping in the sack with your date is that the minute sex is involved, the communication level of a developing relationship seems to just freeze. However well you’ve gotten to know each other at that point seems to be as far as the relationship “depth” goes. This is a very bad consequence if you were trying to move him along the path of committing to you.

Thinking sex right away is a good idea? It’s not just you. 

I can give you story after story, example after example to prove my case. I’ve seen the evidence all over America and I’ve seen it all through the entertainment industry (where I spent 16 years and all my single years).

I so feel bad for all these female celebrities because they are making the same mistakes many of you are and jumping in the sack, even getting pregnant, to try and catch their man. For them, the results are worse because they’ve just given the guy bragging rights for nabbing a celeb who they didn’t have to commit to first. Kudos to the guy, sympathies for the celebrity who will soon be dumped—that is if she was ever even considered a girlfriend.

Okay, okay, enough ranting, let me close in just telling you there are many other ways to capture that man’s heart than taking it off and using your body, no matter HOW amazing your body is.

Victorya Rogers is the author of The Automatic 2nd Date. To learn more about Victorya Rogers, visit ManToKeep.com.

Related Posts

1. Bipolar Booty Call?
2. Think You Have to Let Him Call You First? Not Anymore!
3. The 9 Booty Call Commandments
4. Why He Didn’t Call You Back
5. Help! I’m A Booty Call AND The Sex Is Lousy!

While men are often only concerned about what occurs DURING sex, women are bit more complicated; they also put attention (A LOT of attention) on what occurs after sex.

If you’ve never really picked up on this before, then chances are you’ve committed one of the following mistakes.

After-Sex Mistake #1: Rolling over after reaching an orgasm and going to sleep.

You may think that this is ‘natural.’ After all, didn’t you just have a long day at work and didn’t you just cater to fulfilling her sexual needs first before yours? But to your partner, dozing off right away means only one thing: insensitivity.

In fact, most women will think this way, “now that he’s had his way with me, he’s done and just wants to sleep!”.

So how do you handle this situation especially when you are really sleepy after sex? Simply snuggle up to her and cuddle up a bit. You can stroke her hair too. (Better actually, as this may make HER sleepy!).

After-Sex Mistake #2: Jumping out of bed and doing something else.

If sleeping immediately after sex shows you’re insensitive, jumping out of bed and putting all your attention into doing something else (e.g., work!) means you’re a real jerk to her.

For yourself, you may just feel so energized after cumming that you want to do other things, but to her jumping out of bed right after sex indicates that the time you two had was irrelevant. It wasn’t lovemaking; it was just sex.

So how do you handle this situation especially when you are really NEED to do something? Just stay a bit longer in bed. A couple more minutes surely won’t kill you! You can simply embrace her and be quiet, or cuddle and (for me the better option) start to slowly mention that darn! you forgot to do something and now you have to get up now and do it. Do this grudgingly!

After-Sex Mistake #3: Reaching for the remote, turning on the TV, and forgetting she’s beside you.

You can’t fake intimacy. Does this mean you can’t ever turn on the TV after having sex? Of course not! In fact, SHE may even want to catch something on TV herself.

But the thing is, don’t break contact. You can just as easily reach for the remote while ensuring that you’re still embracing her, right? Further, a simple question of “do you mind?” can go a long way than simply ignoring her and watching TV!

Just don’t forget to include her. Ask her if she wants to see something too or ask for her comment on what you’re watching. Anything that signifies you haven’t forgotten that she’s beside you is good.

Related Posts

1. The 3 Deadly Mistakes Guys Make When They Approach Women
2. 3 Mistakes That Most Women Make When Brushing Up On Their Skills On How To Give A Handjob
3. 3 Mistakes Women Make in Porn Blowjob Videos
4. 4 Mistakes That Most Women Make When Learning How To Give A Guy Head
5. 5 Dating Mistakes That Men Make With Women

There are those who believe it’s okay to have sex on the first date. Others think the third date is the right time, but still others believe you should wait much longer. Perhaps as long until after the wedding.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

How long should I date a man morally speaking before we have sex??

And so it will be a better relationship if that’s what is meant to be…

–Erica, California

The morality of sex

Morally speaking, there is no right or wrong answer to this question – which is what makes it such a great question.  People who are uncertain about what boundaries they have when making the decision to have sex with the person they’re dating might be a little surprised to learn that the only boundaries they have are the ones they set for themselves…

Some people feel that it’s perfectly fine or natural to have sex with someone on the first date, or even shortly after meeting.  Others certainly might not agree, but it is ultimately up to the couple in question.  If both parties involved feel that it’s okay and feel confident about having sex soon after the relationship begins, by all means – go for it!

Other people feel that sex is only for those who are married.  Whether it is due to strict religious beliefs or purely philosophical ones, this approach works well for many couples.  They are committed to each other before getting physical and when they finally do the deed, they feel more comfortable with each other.

Then there are those who wait until they gain their footing in a relationship and start to feel comfortable before getting sexual with their partner.  Some people abide strongly by the “three date rule” and others wait a few months, but not forever.

When is the right time to have sex?

There is no magic “time” that would make it morally right to engage in sexual activity with your partner and unless you feel otherwise, there’s no magic “time” that would make it morally wrong either.  It’s all up to you and your partner.  If you are both consenting adults, you’re free to engage in sexual activity whenever you like.

Before doing anything, however, you should take a deep look at your own religious or moral beliefs.  Do you feel it would make you uncomfortable to have sex with your partner before the one month mark?  Does your partner?  Are you completely comfortable having sex with them after only a week?  How would it make you feel if you did?  Really think about it and don’t be afraid to come to terms with how you feel about the situation.  You have the right to decide when and if you’re ready to “do it” and with who you’re ready to “do it” with.

When it comes to figuring out your own personal rules, you are free to be as strict or as lenient with yourself as you like.  Do whatever works for you.  Don’t do anything that would make you feel uncomfortable or make your partner uncomfortable.  No one should ever be pressured into having sex.  Don’t be afraid to fly by the seat of your pants either – if you’re with someone and feel comfortable with the idea of having sex with them, you’re welcome to throw any ideals you previously had out the window.  Or you can stick to your guns – it’s up to you.  Remember, the only boundaries you have are the ones you set for yourself.

Related Posts

1. Second Date Ideas… Keeping it Fun and Exciting after the First Date
2. Dating Tips – Is She Committed For The Long Haul?
3. Why You Should Never Have Sex On The First Date
4. She Gave Me Her Number… Should I Ask Her Out On A Date?
5. Q&A: Blind Date Tips

You start ripping each other’s clothes off and proceed to the bedroom. Once you get there, somebody steps on a gadget left on the floor causing pain.

You move on but the open window is bringing in all the noise from outside and a strange smell from the nearby garbage dump. You both still try to proceed with sex but the bed hasn’t actually been made that morning and it’s smelling a bit in addition to having cookie crumbs all over it.

You both decide to try again… sometime.

What a bummer! If only you had time to prepare your bedroom for lovemaking! Well read on, following are tips that are GUARANTEED to up sexual desire in your bedroom.

How to Make Your Bedroom Hot, Sexy and Ready for Love… Anytime!

Lighting is everything.

Bright yellow lights or glaring white fluorescent lights contribute nothing to sexual desire in the bedroom. What you need are room lights that can be dimmed or a simple bedside lamp that can be dimmed. Better yet, go for scented candles ready for lighting at a moment’s notice!

Music – and Love – is in the air.

You must have some form of music player in your room right? Make sure that you have a couple of tracks that simply shout LOVE in the air. A couple of Barry White (Michael Buble for the younger crowd) CD’s never hurt. It really depends on what you and she are into in terms of music genres. Some couples like opera music (you know, the crescendos make great backdrops to orgasms!), while other’s prefer a 1980s collection of love songs.

The smell of love…

At this point, we’ll go a bit beyond the scented candles and/or burning scented oils. Try to ‘train’ her to associate a certain smell with lovemaking. The trick here is to condition her brain to think of sex every time she smells a particular smell.

For example, on the first night you plan to engage in foreplay, give her a bunch of red roses (or any flower you know she likes). This way, she thinks of making out every time she smells red roses.

Now, on the first night you plan to engage in sex, make sure red rose petals are scattered on the bed or a fresh bouquet of red roses is in the bedroom. Again, the goal is to make her ALWAYS associate a specific scent to you and your lovemaking sessions!

Action speaks louder than words.

Keep in mind that no trick beats a previously sexually pleasurable or great experience with you. Say that you guys made love a week ago at some other location and you saw to it that she climaxed BEFORE you did, she’ll remember this and you can be sure that this time – in your own bedroom – she’ll be showing you just how grateful she is!

Related Posts

1. How Erotic Massage Will TRIPLE Your Partner’s Sexual Desire!
2. Are You Dom or Sub? Sexual Compatibility in the Bedroom
3. Are You Committing These 4 Bedroom Mistakes?
4. Understanding The Desire To Love And Be Loved in Return
5. 4 Things NOT To Do To Your Man In The Bedroom

Most men love the idea of seeing their woman have sex with another woman while they watch, or the idea of having two women have sex with him at the same time.

But threesome fantasies don’t stop there…

There are also men out there, who love the idea of watching their woman have sex with another man.

Here’s an interesting question.  If a man enjoys the idea of watching his woman have sex with another man, does this make him gay?

Here’s a question from Michael whose fantasies have him wondering about his sexuality.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My girlfriend and I have talked jokingly about threesomes in the past. But recently she’s been bringing up the idea more often. I’m worried about what she would want afterwards like if she’d wanna bring home a guy. I don’t know how to respond…

I have entertained the thought of watching her have sex with another man while I watch. Would that make me gay to enjoy watching it? Also, I had more homo erotic thoughts but haven’t gotten hard around a guy that’s straight.

Am I just curious, confused or bi?

– Michael, Massachusetts

Does This Mean I’m Gay?

We’re all sexual beings. We all have a unique ideas and fantasies, things that turn us on. Don’t get stuck on labels and just consider yourself ‘sexual’. It’s very common, and very exciting for most men, to think of their girlfriend as bi-curious, but most men get a little nervous when they think of a bi-curious boy.

But on that topic… We ran an online dating site for over three years and were very surprised by the large number of bisexual or bi-curious men. It’s not as uncommon as you might like to think.

There’s nothing wrong with being bi-curious, bisexual, or gay. That’s just your sexual preference. The sooner you get in touch with your own sexual preferences and desires, the happier and more fulfilled your sex life will be.

On The Topic Of Threesomes

So the idea of watching your partner with another man or woman that you really excited – and you have talked to one another enough to know that it gets your partner excited as well…

Here three tips to help make your first threesome more successful:

1. Talk About It

Before you and your partner set out to act out your fantasies of having a threesome, it’s critical that you both talk about it and understand why you want to do it. It’s also important to talk about what kind of threesome you are interested in.

Do you want to see your girlfriend with another woman, or perhaps another man. Do you want to see your boyfriend with another woman or another man. Do you both want to be intimately involved, or you prefer to just watch.

It’s also important to talk about who this third person will be. Will it be a close friend?  Will it be a stranger? Do you want to be friends with him or her afterword are you just looking for one night stand? What should his or her age be? What should they look like?

It’s important to talk about the details up front so that you don’t end up fighting over something silly halfway down the road…

2. Set Boundaries And Stick To Them

Boundaries…

This is an important one that many people overlook. Before your first threesome, and your second, and your third, talk about what’s OK and what’s not. Where is your comfort zone? Where is your partners comfort zone? Are there any actions that are forbidden?

It’s a worthwhile exercise to actually take the time to write down what is OK and one is not. We have some good friends who jokingly refer to their first list… it must’ve been 100 items long. You can do this.  You can’t do that.  This is OK.  That’s not. — Now they have just two runs a list away. That works for them. Your list may get longer. The important thing here is that you talk about it and agree on the ground rules before during and after.

3.  Try It And Then Talk About It Some More

Once everyone’s happy and feels COMPLETELY comfortable, go for it. Try it. See how it feels and talk about those feelings. What surprised you? What didn’t? Did the experience go as you expected it? Do you want to do it again?

Hopefully by now you get the point…

Communication is critical in your relationship and even more important when you bring other people into the relationship.

We can’t say it enough… Talk. Talk.  Talk.

Related Posts

1. Asexual Wanting BDSM But Not Sex – Is It The Medication?
2. Sex Is Boring… How Can I Get My Wife To Be More Seductive?
3. Q&A: Wife Wants 9000 Penises
4. Married Life: My Wife Says I’m Not Emotionally Available?
5. Cuckold Fantasy: My Wife With Another Man – Why Do I Like It?

These are the swingers and other sexually liberated souls seeking threesomes and more, together with their life partner.

While many have fights and arguments due to petty jealousy, others actually open their sex lives to others. They share and enjoy these experiences together, and amazingly enough, these experiences often bring a couple much closer together.

Today’s question is from a couple in New York ready to try their first threesome, or even a foursome.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My girlfriend and I want to try a threesome or foursome. I agree with this, but I just want to know which one is least likely to cause me problem in my relationship?

– Jose in New York

The mass media often portrays swingers as very risque and living a dangerous, risky life – but the fact is most swingers are much more cautions about safety and safe sex than their single counterparts. After all, these are generally couples playing together, so you have someone on your side planning with you at all times – you’re not winging it as you often do (and did) in the singles scene.

While these relationships can sometimes develop into polyamory, often times swingers just live the lifestyle and enjoy playing with their friends.

But of course the jealousy monster can always rear its ugly head, so always prepare and plan ahead before venturing into uncharted waters in search of new sex partners. There are rules and boundaries you must agree on with your partner ahead of time – no exceptions.

Also there are some great resources below to help you make the most of your new experience and avoid the common pitfalls that can lead to relationship disaster and, yes, break up.

1. Check out the largest swinger and sex personals dating site and find sex partners in your area today. They have millions of active members online, and 30,000 new photos uploaded daily.
2. 500 Sex Tips and Love Making Secrets That Everyone Ought to Know

Related Posts

1. Thinking of Having a Threesome? Why Not Make It A Foursome…
2. Best Threesome And Swinger Articles Of 2009
3. MMF Threesome Dilemma… Why Can’t My Threesome Have One Woman and Two Men?
4. How To Get A Threesome
5. How Do I Get Past My First Time Swinger Fears?