Ask Dan and Jennifer » hypnosis

How to Get Rid Of Your Emotional Baggage Before Your Next Relationship

Nick Arrizza MD — Thu, 08 Jan 2009 13:44:08 +0000

If you’ve been in a relationship before and you’re entering a new one you likely carry the war scars of the last one with you. What are to consequences to you and your new relationship of walking in handicapped?

Well you’re likely feeling a bit defensive, somewhat jaded about the opposite sex and about relationships in general, you’ve likely started to engage in some sort of “game playing” in order to stay safe or to manipulate your new mate, you are unlikely to allow yourself to become too intimate early on or perhaps at all and so on.

What does all this amount to?

Well certainly not a healthy relationship and definitely another failed one!

The Danger of Carrying the Past With You

You see so many individuals who have had unsatisfying relationships in the past actually carry the trauma of these within yet assume that is a normal part of the learning process and never question it.

It has been my experience that this is not unlike a form of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which clearly affects and undermines the person’s ability to achieve a successful, healthy and happy relationship in their future. This is the reason that so many individuals, later in their lives have turned away from the idea of relationship and towards a solitary existence.

Is there a solution to this problem? Absolutely!

Uninstall the Memories of Past Relationships

You see now for the first time it is possible to uninstall the memories of previous unhealthy relationships from the mind/body consciousness. As hard as this is to believe it actually helps to restore one to their original state of purity and authenticity.

This then allows them not only to enter the new relationship feeling more present, open, honest and confident it also gives them a great sense of resilience. The latter is something that few individuals ever have yet the most important component in my view.

The process that uninstalls memories is called the Mind Resonance Process® (MRP) and it is based on a very simple yet powerful principle that I discovered over a decade ago while I practiced as a psychiatrist.

MRP, unlike psychotherapy, unearths and outrightly challenges unconscious beliefs you have stored within you about memories such as a) why they are apparently useful to you, b) why you “think” you can’t release them and most amazingly c) the belief that they actually happened to you.

MRP compares the apparent “usefulness” of having negative memories inside you against what it actually feels like to have them there. This simple yet profound approach can literally help restore one’s relationship life in a very short time as has been witnesses by hundreds of individuals in thousands of sessions.

Can you imagine entering into your next relationship and feeling as exhilarated as if it was the first one all over again? To have such an experience kindly visit my web site for a free consultation.

How Headaches and Migraines Can Destroy a Relationship

Alan B. Densky, CH — Thu, 25 Dec 2008 14:48:29 +0000

We’ve all heard, and laughed at, the line “Not tonight, Honey. I have a headache.”

For those who suffer from migraines or other chronic headache pain, though, this phrase takes on an entirely new meaning. It’s hard to do, or think, anything at all when the pain of a migraine is racking your skull.

Sometimes, too, it’s hard being in a relationship with someone who suffers from migraines. Unexpected pain begins to occur, often without any warning at all. Within 15 to 30 minutes, migraine sufferers are sometimes completely incapacitated. Their thoughts, feelings, and moods are completely interrupted.

Why? Because even though the brain itself is not sensitive to pain, many areas of the head including the scalp, face, mouth and throat have pain-sensitive nerve fibers, which ache.

Two Kinds of Headaches

Headaches can be divided into two kinds. The first type is primary headaches, which are not associated with any disease. The other kind, secondary headaches are associated with another medical problem.

Just how widespread is this problem? If your date or special evening has been interrupted by migraine headache, you are by no means alone.

Everybody will be affected by them at least once, but up to 55 million Americans, suffer from them regularly. In fact, the World Health Organization claims that one in 20 adults suffer from migraine headaches.

Problems Associated With Headaches

People with headaches often have trouble working. This can cause serious problems with their jobs and financial situations. Headaches often affect people’s social skills. The pain, or the fear of the pain, can cause people to become tense and anxious, even when they are not hurting.

Bright lights, some foods and smells can even trigger migraine headaches, so people have to be careful about their surroundings. Worst of all, many people who do not suffer from migraine headaches have no idea how much a sufferer’s life is affected by this experience.

This inability to relate to the migraneur’s situation can cause people to become frustrated, angry, and even give up on an important relationship.

Furthermore, many people with migraines…

How To Talk Yourself Out Of A Depression – Before You Talk Yourself Out Of A Relationship

Alan B. Densky, CH — Fri, 14 Nov 2008 01:30:35 +0000

Sure, everyone gets down from time to time, and their friends try to cheer them up. But what happens when you get down and just can’t be cheered up, or your friends seem to start spending all their time trying to cheer you up? Pretty soon, your friends start finding other things to do, and stop hanging out with you.

The same thing happens in a relationship. Everyone has a bad day now and then but, if you start having bad days all the time, people get tired of trying to cheer you up, and they move on to other relationships that are more fulfilling and less depressing.

Stop The Depression Before They Stop You

If you have finally found that person you’ve spent your life dreaming about, you want to learn how to get control over your moods, and stop being depressed, before that special someone decides to stop seeing you!

Wouldn’t it be phenomenal if you could control or get rid of depression just by having certain thoughts? I know that this might sound too simple, but very frequently; many types of depression are simply caused by thinking negative thoughts. If you can control the thoughts, you can control the depression. It really is that simple!

Skeptical? Try This…

Don’t believe me? Then test it out! It’s easy to try this out for yourself and see that it really works. Just imagine something that you find to be very sad or troubling. Go ahead, think about it right now! Then return to this article.

Okay, so what happened? If you did what I asked you to do, and tried to visualize the situation clearly, you started to feel unhappy and a little depressed. And the more you allow yourself to stay in that pattern of thought, the sadder you will feel. As you stay in those thoughts and continue feeling sadder, you lead yourself into a gradually intensifying depression.

Displace the Sadness With Happy Memories

The good news, though, is that if you think about a happy memory, then you will displace that sadness and depression and replace it with happy feelings.

Please pay close attention now, because here are the keys to ending your depression: Our most persistent thoughts spring forth from the unconscious mind. These are the thoughts that we find ourselves naturally thinking about throughout the day.

If the persistent thoughts that are continually recurring in your mind are about your sad experiences or problems, then you intensify your levels of depression, anxiety, and stress.

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

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Can’t Get A Second Date – Could Smoking Be The Reason?

Alan B. Densky, CH — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 13:19:52 +0000

You like her (or him) so much that you are sure you would like to go out again. In fact, you think this person might just possibly be the one. But when you ask for a second date or a phone number, your date smiles and says, "Good night." And walks away from you.

You thought the night was going perfectly. You found a special restaurant that played the perfect background music, and dinner talk was relaxing and enjoyable. Your eyes kept meeting, and you were just sure that you two had hit it off. Then dinner was over, and you stopped to have a quick cigarette before getting into the car.

Why It’s a Problem

The sad truth is, most non-smokers just don’t like kissing ashtrays. And, frankly, kissing someone who smokes tastes nearly as bad. Smoking is a major turnoff, and a bad habit that most people just won’t tolerate. In fact, dating sites even allow users to filter out smokers from their searches for that Mr. or Ms. Right.

The majority of people who smoke are aware of this and try to hide their annoying addiction from other searchers by listing themselves as non-smokers. The first meeting, however, gives them away. And the search begins again.

How Much of a Problem Is It Really?

Just how much of a problem is smoking when it comes to relationships and marriage? In fact, smokers are 53% more likely to divorce than non-smokers. This holds true for people of every age, social class, and ethnic background.

Researchers state flat-out that smoking is a risk for divorce and marital problems. They also encourage a person who is dating a smoker to think long and hard before committing to marry someone who smokes.

Maybe It’s Time to Quit

If you have found that, over and over again, you aren’t getting a second date or having trouble starting a relationship, perhaps you are ready to quit smoking. Although people decide to quit smoking for a variety of reasons, if you quit smoking because of concerns with romantic relationships, you are far from alone.

Ultimately, most smokers start searching for ways to quit smoking out of concern for the health of their family. There are many ways to quit smoking, and one of the easiest ways is through the use of a specially formulated hypnosis program.

Hypnosis Could Be The Answer

Hypnosis programs for quitting smoking are developed specifically to help smokers quit smoking without having to suffer from withdrawal. They are particularly useful because they help smokers beat the psychological aspects of the addiction, which are the hardest aspects to overcome. The smoking habit is 10% physical addiction, and 90% mental addiction.

Benefits of Hypnosis

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How to Seduce a Woman by Using Visualization Techniques

W. Wilcox — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 13:07:18 +0000

The human mind is a powerful thing. And although its complexity and intricacy currently stretches well beyond our comprehension, we DO still have a solid grasp of what it’s capable of. It’s the driving force for inventors, philosophers, scientists and specialists all over the world. Some of our brain’s uses, however, are less well known and more infrequently used than others.

Take, for example, visualization techniques.

Visualization techniques are most commonly associated with people who are striving to achieve success in areas of physical excellence: athletes, body builders, endurance specialists, explorers and martial artists all employ the power of visualization to help them achieve their goals. But what is it exactly?

A common misconception is that visualization is the act of imagining something to help yourself achieve an end goal. This explanation, although not a million miles away from the truth, doesn’t accurately represent the true concept of visualization. Visualization involves truly envisioning two things in your head, with as much clarity and detail as possible. First is the act itself.

For example, leaping from the starting blocks at the crack of the gun, your muscles tightening, your body springing into action, each stride long and powerful driving you forward with super speed and swiftness. Second is the outcome: such as the winning of the race.

You picture yourself being the first to cross that white line, decelerating to the sound of a roaring crowd. Flash bulbs explode and while your chest heaves for air, you smile in the comfort of knowing you succeeded and came first.

The result of visualizing both of these concepts is a powerful one. Your mind and body become more prepared and more capable because you’ve already practiced and gone through the motions of what is to come. Your attitude is more positive and productive and you gain the edge you need to truly succeed.

Visualization can be used in a variety of fields to help you succeed, even in attracting and seducing women. The same principle above applies, you must truly act out in your mind both the act of meeting a girl and the outcome of whatever it is you’re looking for (be it sex, a relationship, or whatever.) Here’s a few pointers to help you do this:

1. Visualize Every Detail

Make a real effort to visualize each and every detail of what you want to happen during the act of meeting and talking to a woman. See yourself smiling and saying hi to a girl in a bookstore and her replying with a shy smile and glint in her eye.

Picture laughing and joking and being flirtatious. Even envisage small details, like you both taking a sip of your drink at the same time. Each and every visualized moment prepares your conscious and subliminal mind for actual real-life encounters. The more you visualize and the greater detail in which you do it, the more capable and prepared you become.

2. See The Ending Too

Once you’ve visualized the act of meeting and conversing with a girl, foresee leaving the bookstore or bar and going back to your/her place. Whatever outcome is preferable to you, picture it. See the colors, hear the sounds, feel the textures and smell the aromas.

3. Use Visualization Everywhere

Use visualization when you’re at home AND when you’re out looking for girls that catch your attention. Doing both ensures your mind is programmed in the most prepared, positive state possible: nerves disappear and confidence grows.

For more great visualization and confidence techniques, check out HypnoDate – a revolutionary manual that teaches men how to use special hypnotic principles to become masters of attraction and seduction, without the need for good looks, money or a flashy car. Check it out now at the HypnoDate website.

‘Am I Too Fat To Be Loved?’ – How Being Overweight Affects Your Relationships

Alan B. Densky, CH — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 11:05:23 +0000

Thanks to skimpy clothing styles and anorexic magazine models being touted as the way that people are supposed to look, in our culture, being overweight can be the kiss of death to singles trying to find a mate, as well as to couples who are trying to put the spark back into their love lives.

Everyone is trying to diet so that they can be slim, sexy, desirable, and find love. In their search for love, singles often post profiles on Internet dating sites. As part of their profile, they routinely post 10+ year old pictures of when they were much thinner. And it is also common for them to miss-state their weight by 30 or more pounds.

But none of this is much help at convincing someone to instantly fall in love with them. That’s because when they eventually meet for dinner, a drink, or a cup of coffee, the truth is revealed.

Being Overweight is a Behavior?

Being on a diet is neither a pleasant nor natural way of life. Even though scientists tell us that all of the popular diets work and will make you lose weight, no one seems to be able to stick to them, for many complex psychological reasons. What many people don’t understand is that our unconscious mind compels us into behaviors that will benefit and protect us. And being overweight can be one of those behaviors.

When I tell that to clients, most of them respond with a look of "you ain’t playing with a full deck, you must be crazy, not me!" on their faces. Then they try to lecture me that I must be wrong, because being overweight is not a behavior; it is just the result or outcome of overeating.

Unfortunately they are wrong. Often being overweight is the result of emotional eating. Emotional eating takes place when a person is motivated to make him or herself fat, because by being fat they will protect themselves in some way.

How Eating Becomes Emotional

For example, if a person got their heart broken in a relationship, their unconscious might motivate them into a behavior that would prevent them from getting their heart broken again. In this example they are motivated to get fat to keep them out of another relationship, because that will eliminate the possibility of another broken heart.

The reverse can also be true. Someone involved in an unhappy marriage might unconsciously motivate himself or herself to become fat to keep them in the marriage for the sake of the children, or because they are afraid of being alone. As a matter of fact, there are as many different possible benefits that one can obtain from being fat as there are overweight people.

What Else Affects It?

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Is Stress Damaging Your Relationship?

Alan B. Densky, CH — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 19:09:43 +0000

Stress is a normal part of daily life. In fact, without a small amount of stress, our bodies wouldn’t function. Yes, our lives actually depend on stress! If stress is good for us, how do we know how much is enough – and how much is too much?

Stress is so normal that we actually come to depend on it to help us with the everyday activities of our lives. For example, if people didn’t feel some stress and anxiety about their grades, they would not be motivated to perform well in school. Likewise, without being a little anxious about paying bills, eating, and housing, people would not be concerned about getting employment or doing their jobs well.

Stress Damages Health & Relationships

Too much stress, however can be damaging to our health and relationships. Excessive worrying can cause a person’s body to produce chemicals that cause high blood pressure, lessen pain tolerance, and even delay healing.

People with high stress levels become ill more easily and get well more slowly. They aren’t able to perform their jobs as effectively or concentrate as intently on course work and exams.

Excessive stress can damage personal relationships as well as business relationships. People who are coping with high levels of anxiety are often irritable from lack of sleep, and have a lower tolerance for a family member’s little faults. Persons who are under high levels of stress may find it much more difficult to control their tempers or say things tactfully.

This often leads to harsh or unkind words. The person who is under high levels of stress may or may not realize just how much someone else might be affected by these words. If he or she does not recognize how much the words hurt, further misunderstandings can result, and the relationship can be permanently hurt by this situation.

How Dating Causes Stress

People who are dating are under high levels of stress as each is working to convince the other that he or she is attractive, interesting, and appealing. Usually, people who are irritable and cranky are not appealing to others.

If you are considering entering a dating relationship, but are at a stressful point in your life, it may be wise to think about waiting until your stress is resolved, or getting some help in relieving your anxiety.

If you are already in a relationship that you value, however, avoiding interacting with the person while you are feeling stressed is probably not a good choice. Finding relief from the stress is probably a more desirable choice than getting out of the relationship altogether. But where can you turn?

Where to Turn For Help

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