The friend zone is not a place that you ever want to find yourself when you are interested in a woman. This aspect of dating can easily change you from a potential date to a person that gets the occasional hello.

Avoiding the dreaded friend zone is essential to keeping the spark alive in your budding relationships. If a lady only wants to be your acquaintance, then you need to cut her loose. However, there are ways that you can keep yourself from falling into this familiar path in the future. Here are some dating tips to help you stay out of the hated friend zone in the future.

Accept The Fact That She Is Not Interested

There are women out there that will never be interested in pursuing a relationship with you. Accept the fact that she is not interested. While this is not something that any guy wants to do, it’s a one of the best dating tips out there for finding a woman that is interested in having a relationship with you.

If you are clinging to a woman who has put you in a friend zone, you are wasting your time trying to woo her back. This is one aspect of life where being a quitter actually has its advantages. Nip it in the bud before you start begging and pleading for another chance.

Work On Yourself

Do you work out? Do you eat healthy? One of the best ways to gain confidence is to improve yourself before you try to date somebody. If you meet a lady that you like and you really want to impress her, give yourself a couple of weeks to improve various aspects of your life before you pursue her.

Two weeks can do a lot to somebody’s physique and eating healthier can give you the energy that you want throughout the day. Having more energy will show through your personality and the way that you carry yourself. Feeling good about yourself is an attractive quality for women, so act accordingly.

Meet New People

Getting stuck in a friend zone can occur when somebody knows you all too well. If you have been chummy with a lady for a long time, she might not think of you as a potential date. There is a reason that a staple of the most common dating tips is to meet new people. Meeting new people is exciting and allows you to play off of your own mystique.

Going out and meeting newer women will get you out of the friend zone and put into the hot seat of being a potential long term relationship. If you know the woman you like really well, this could also make her very jealous. While you should not do this with mal-intent, it is an effective means of getting her to think about you as a date instead of a “bud.”

Learn To Flirt

Some guys think that flirting is something that you’re born with, while others think that it can be learned through certain dating tips. The friend zone is dependent on being able to flirt. Teasing her a little bit about things that don’t matter is a great way to flirt with her.

Don’t tell her that her eyes are too far apart, but picking up on something little could get her laughing. Start small and work your way up to making more sexualized comments. Once you have achieved this properly, she should be looking at you in a whole new light. Be bold with her and you will never end up as an acquaintance again.

Slight Touches

Slight touches can be a great way to emphasize that you are not looking for a platonic relationship. Touching her arm as you laugh with her or putting your hand on the small of her back as she goes through a door are some of the best ways to show that you are sexually interested.

If she does not respond to these methods or responds negatively, back off immediately. The last thing that you want to do is make her uncomfortable. If she touches you back then you’re in the clear. Women do not touch guys that they don’t want to date.

Being in the friend zone can be one of the most frustrating aspects of dating. Getting out of it is tough and some methods work better than others. Turning yourself from a platonic relationship into a date is not always easy, but it is possible in most situations. Follow these guidelines and you should start to see a vast improvement of her perception of you.

Related Posts

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4. Get Yourself Out Of The Friend Zone – STAT!
5. Dating Tips: How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone

Nobody likes to be lead on. Usually the man is the one that will lead a girl on, however, this can happen the other way around. Leading a fella on can hurt him and his ego. When a man is lead to believe that the relationship is something that he didn’t expect, he can get angry and you might never hear from him again. If you have been seeing a fella and you’re not too sure if you’re leading him on, there are a few ways that you figure it out. Here are some signs that you’re leading him on.

You Need Something

Some girls are experts in the damsel in distress role. The thing about this is that men love to swoop in and save a girl from any situation. If you need something, it’s okay to call a friend, but helping out a girl makes a man feel like a man. Make sure that he knows you just need help and that you aren’t interested in him.

He’s A Fallback

Some men have instant chemistry with you while others take time to warm up. If you find yourself calling him when you have nothing to do, he might see it as a sign that you’re interested. If you find yourself using him a fallback, you might want to cut it out. Men tend to make excuses for girls that call them every once in a while. They might think that you’re busy and this is the first chance that you’ve had to call them.

You Haven’t Talked About The Relationship

Relationships can rely on signals to progress. However, signals can be very confusing. If you haven’t talked about your relationship, you might be leading him on. When you talk about the relationship, you give it definition. Defining the relationship lays all of your cards out on the table and leaves no room for confusion.

Your Friends Tell You You’re Leading Him On

Sometimes it takes an outside viewpoint and some good dating advice to let you know what you’re doing. If your friends are telling you you’re leading him on, they probably have good reason. Whether it be that they detect something that you don’t or they have inside knowledge that the fella likes you, listen to your friends. In this case, it’s best to have the talk with him and let him know that you’re not interested.

You Pull Away When Things Get Real

Do you make excuses for why you can’t have dinner with him or go out on a real date? If so, you might be leading him on. When a fella offers to take you out to dinner or to a show, more than likely it’s not a friendly invite. He’s interested and he wants you to go with him. If you make up fake excuses on why can’t go with him, you’re obviously not interested. Tell him that you’re not interested to diffuse the situation.

You Only Call Him For Sex

This can actually be an extension of #5. If you’re sleeping with him and he asks you to spend more time with him out of the bedroom, you are definitely leading him on. Sex to a man is one of the most important aspects of a relationship. If the sex is good, he’s probably wondering how he can make the relationship official. Explain to him that you are not looking for anything serious and he might actually be more receptive to a friends with benefits situation.

You’re Too Flirtatious

Flirting is one thing, but if you’re flirting too much, you might be sending the wrong signals. It’s best to keep the flirting to a minimum. Touching a guy’s shoulder or telling him how attractive he is can lead him on quickly. Make sure that you’re not make flirtatious gestures when are around him. He might get the wrong idea and this could cause a rift between the two you.

Leading a guy on can be damaging to any relationship. If you are friends with a fella or you’re sleeping with him, it’s best to make sure that he’s knows what the relationship actually is. When a man likes you, he will bend over backward to do what is needed to make you his girlfriend. Because of this power that women have over men, they tend to take it too far without even realizing it. Take a careful inventory of how you interact with your male friends and listen to the people around you if they say that you could be leading him on.

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Be The Kind Of Guy Who Never Gets In The Friend Zone In The First Place

The best “dating tips” you could ever get about staying out of the friend zone is to never be the kind of guy who gets put in it in the first place. These guys are wimpy and weak, where guys who don’t get put on the “friends only” list are strong and confident – the alpha male type. The trick is to not be afraid to make women feel beautiful and sexy, and to not be afraid of showing a girl that you like her – like really like her. Don’t pretend that you don’t have a sexual or romantic connection to a girl – instead, just tell her! Be honest and confident about your feelings. Don’t apologize for who you are, and don’t act like her best girlfriend.

Show Interest In Her

If you like a girl, the best way not to get on her “friends only” list is to show that you’re interested in her from the get go. Don’t be too scared to admit that you have a sexual attraction to this girl – and be okay with that. If you think that it’s wrong somehow, or you’re not supposed to like her “that way,” you’re paving your own road to the friend zone! It’s normal and perfectly okay to be sexually attracted to a woman and for her to know that! In fact, it’s perfectly normal and okay that she be sexually attracted to you too – but she won’t be if you’re hiding the fact that you even want to be more than friends.

Make A Move

Don’t just wait and sit on the sidelines like a “best friend” when you could be out there with the girl you want to be with. Take that first step and make that move! Whether it’s to let her know that you exist (that’s a great first step), to start flirting with her or even a bolder move like leaning in for the first kiss, you need to go ahead and do it. Stop thinking about doing it, planning to do it or making excuses as to why now isn’t the right time. Just put yourself out there, take the risk and make a first move!

The Importance Of Building Sexual Tension

When a girl starts to think of you as more than just a buddy is when she begins to feel that undeniable sexual tension between the two of you. To get girls, you have to become a master at creating, shaping and using sexual tension. While some guys don’t find this difficult at all, other more “left brained” guys (you know, scientists, engineers, accountants, etc.) have a more difficult time accessing their more creative side to build sexual tension.

You can get more in touch with the right side of your brain, take up poetry or an art class – anything that engages your right brain. Do something creative that allows you to think differently than you normally do.

How To Build Sexual Tension And Get Her To Think Of You As More Than Just A “Buddy”

1. Start slowly – you don’t want to rush in too quickly and blindside her. Compliment her, tell her that she looks beautiful or stunning – don’t say “hot,” or “sexy” because this will turn her OFF immediately.
2. Get in her space. Touch her and when you do, let the touch linger just a little too long. Don’t be creepy about it, but you don’t want to end it until just after it becomes slightly awkward. Flirt with her.
3. Move at her pace, but take it just a little farther. This allows you to push her limits a little bit, but not way past where her limits usually are. You’re just going slightly outside of her comfort zone.

Show A Side Of Yourself That She Hasn’t Seen Before

If you’re already in the friend zone, these dating tips can be particularly useful if you want to get yourself out of it.

Show the girl you like a side of yourself that she’s never seen before. You’re an interesting guy, with passions and hobbies too, right? Don’t always be talking about her and what she likes or wants to do. Show her your motivation, drive and passion. Let her know that you’re a guy she could be with and have fun with!

Also, you want to make her laugh and feel happy. This is a huge deal, because women remember the way you make them feel more than they remember your name, what you do for a living or even what you look like (although she’ll probably remember all three if you make her feel absolutely amazing).

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If you ask your friend out and they don’t feel the same way as you, you risk ruining the friendship because things will be different after you let them know you have romantic feelings towards them. It’s better to know (for the most part) if you and your friend are actually more than that – so how can you tell if you and your “friend” should start REALLY dating?

She’s Going To Want To Spend Time With You

If the girl you’re interested in has romantic feelings for you too, she’s going to want to spend as much time with you as possible. She’s going to make excuses to see you and be around you.

She’s Going To Be Okay If The Conversation Turns Sexual

If she’s into you, she’s not going to shy away if the conversation turns towards sex. If she’s not and just wants to be your friend, she’s going to shy away from sexual conversation and stick to topics that are completely platonic. So test her out and bring up a topic that is just a little sexual to see how she reacts – does she shy away from the conversation or does she actively participate in it? If she actively participates in a sexual conversation – and even takes it a little further – it’s a safe bet that she digs you.

You Will Feel It

The energy with friends isn’t the same as the energy you feel when you have an actual connection with someone. If you’ve ever felt that feeling before, you know exactly what it is – there’s no mistaking it. Guys who have never had this connection with someone may not be sure how it feels – but rest assured that you really will know when you do feel it. Pay attention and be looking for that – if you’re not experiencing that real connection, you’re most likely really just friends.

Is She Into The Next Step?

To find out if the girl you like is into taking the next step with you, you have to realize it’s not all about what she says. You have to pay attention to her body language, because she may not be saying anything that lets you know she’s into you at all. Her body language will, however, tell you whether she’s digging you or not. If she is, she’s going to make excuses to get in your space, making eye contact with you and laughing and having a good time with you. Here are some easy ways to tell if she’s ready for you to make the next move.

• She starts dropping hints for you to make a move
• When you flirt or are being playful, she reciprocates and shares in the witty banter
• She opens up and seems to want to talk about more personal topics
• She’s happy to see you or talk to you
• She finds excuses to touch you or brush up against you
• When you touch her, she doesn’t back away – she may even lean closer to you

Don’t Wait Too Long!

If you feel that energy and everything seems to be lining up, don’t wait too long to make a move. Just make it! Ask her out! Don’t wonder whether she’s really into you or not, or second guess yourself. So many guys second guess themselves so much that the girl they like – and who likes them back – thinks that he’s not interested in her! If you feel that romantic connection, go for it! If you wait too long to ask a girl out, you may end up missing the moment entirely.

Relax And Have Fun

If you’re so keyed up and worried about figuring out whether a girl likes you back or not, you may miss key signs that she really does like you. You definitely want to be aware of those signs so you can make the next move if you sense she’s into you too. So take a deep breath and relax! Have confidence that you’ll know when things feel right and that she’ll give you plenty of signs to lead you in the right direction. Have fun and wait for that special connection to happen!

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Does a “friends with benefits” arrangement ever work? That is to say, can it stay purely friendly and sexual? I’m thinking of “diving in” with one of my best guy pals. I think we’d be a hot match in bed but I don’t want to lose his friendship.

What She Said:

A “friends with benefits” agreement can work, with some trust and communication. It can definitely provide a fun outlet for sex while you both wait to meet people with whom you’d like to get serious.

Will It Take An Emotional Toll On You?

Hot sex is awesome – and good for you! However, emotional health is an equally important component. If your best guy pal is into taking the leap, make sure to have a talk to set physical and emotional boundaries. What those will be are up to the two of you, but here are a few suggestions.

Practice Safe Sex

Getting sexually involved with someone is always a big deal, even if you plan to keep it casual. Ideally this means getting tested for STD’s before becoming physical, as well as using protection once you embark on this new part of your friendship. You’ll both have to take emotions into account as well. You’ll want to discuss how much you’ll be hanging out, if there will be calls in between, as well as rules for dating other people.

Reserve The Right To Change Your Mind

You’ve said you don’t want to lose his friendship, so be sure you’re clear why you want to turn your connection sexual. If you’re secretly looking to fall in love, this is the wrong way to go about it. How will it feel when one of you meets someone else? If the thought of him with another girl makes you catch your breath, hold off on the casual sex and ask him out on a proper date.

If you’re truly attracted to him with no emotional undertones, you’ve got a clearer situation on your hands. Having sex with someone, especially over a period of time, usually creates emotional attachment. Be aware of this and check in with yourself often. If you feel you’re in the clear emotionally, go have fun!

What He Said:

Sure, it works. For a while. FWB is like a milk carton, it is only good for a while, then it will expire and go bad. You have to throw it out before then. Trouble is, FWB doesn’t have an expiration date clearly posted on it, and a milk carton does. Know that this is for the short term and quit while your ahead.

It Might Get Weird

If you don’t end it early, one of you will develop feelings for the other and thus kill the whole FWB arrangement, and then it will get weird. Or one of you will find a serious relationship partner outside the FWB situation you’ve got and the other will get jealous.

Have An Exit Strategy

You can do this, just not for very long. Have ground rules and a firm exit strategy in place before you enter the bedroom and you should be fine. If you don’t, you’ll pay for it. Sure, it may be an awkward conversation, but well worth it. Sure you can drive your car without insurance, and you might not get in an accident, but what if you do? Do the leg work first. You’ll be glad you did.

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So how can you get over your heart break and your lingering feelings? You owe it to yourself to move forward. It’s important, not least of all because you might miss out on the person you should really be with while you’re mooning over the wrong guy or girl.

People You Can’t Pursue A Relationship With

It can be pretty difficult to see the forest for the trees when you’re head over hills for someone. When that individual doesn’t love you back, however, you need to have a reality check with yourself. Sometimes there are obvious reasons why you shouldn’t pursue a relationship with someone. No matter how attracted you are to them, if the object of your affection is married or in a happy relationship, you need to back down and look elsewhere.

If the person is your boss, your direct report, your current teacher or student, it’s inappropriate to pursue them until you no longer work together directly. When there are overt roadblocks like these, it can be easier to convince yourself to move on. But sometimes the only reason to move forward is because your crush just wants to be friends. Worse, maybe they don’t want anything to do with you at all. In either case, it’s in your best interest to spend a decent amount of time away from this person while focusing on your own happiness.

How To Deal With Rejection

You need to harness optimism in this situation, but it needs to be the healthy and not harmful kind. Move away from wishful thinking regarding the guy or girl who rejected you. There’s no point daydreaming that your married flame will suddenly leave their spouse for you, or that they’ll wake up one morning and realize they actually are in love with you.

Harness that source of hope inside yourself and direct it toward better things. Don’t sit at home and sulk night after night. Instead, enlist the help of your friends to make sure you get out of the house and have some fun. Don’t waste your time looking forward to an impossible relationship. Look forward to your fun weekend plans, to your morning run, or to completing that big project at work. Relegate thinking about love to the background for now, and you’ll find you’re able to take a step or two forward.

Moving On

The most important reason to move on is that there truly are other fish in the sea to date. If you’re busy fixating on one person, you’re missing all the other people out there who could easily be a better fit for you. If you’re out in the world enjoying yourself, you just might bump into Mr. or Ms. Right, and then you won’t give a flip about Mr. or Ms. Rejection anymore. So don’t close yourself off to the world, and don’t cling to false hope.

Instead, embrace the knowledge that there could be someone else out there a thousand times more perfect for you. Go out and live your life to the fullest, and you just might find them when you least expect it. There is no point in puppy dogging around after a lost cause. If they don’t see the value in being with you, they’re not worth it anyway.

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As you gain more experience with women, you will find yourself in the friend zone less and less and will learn many ways to preemptively stop yourself from winding up in it. However, that is not what I am going to get into with this article. Instead I am going to share some ways that you can remove yourself once being placed in it.

Be Willing To Lose The Friendship

The first step to getting out of the friend zone is that you have to be willing to lose her completely. One thing I have learned in my years managing relationships with women is that two people who are platonic don’t sleep with each other. You will not be able to go after her if you are afraid to lose her, doing so will only plant you deeper in it. So what’s the most important step?

Make Yourself Less Available

One of the main reasons you probably got placed in the friend zone in the first place (instead of dating her) is because you made yourself overly available. You constantly made plans to hang out with her without making a move. The longer you hang out with a girl without hooking up, the higher the chance you will be placed in it. So what do you do? Get away from her. Distance yourself and for a little bit stop making an effort to hang out with her. If she is a real “friend” she should be making an effort to hang out with you. You’re soon going to realize that she probably won’t be setting up a time to hang out anytime soon.

As time goes by she will become in touch with you. If not, you can slowly re-engage but this time with a different approach. For example, do not be her therapist. Do not give her advice for how to deal with her problems. If you need listen, only do so mockingly. You are no longer a shoulder to cry on and have no need to feel sorry for her problems. She is a big girl, she will figure it out.

Keep Your Options Open

In the mean time you should be talking to or dating other girls. Not to make her jealous, but to create other opportunity for yourself. Only once you have emotionally removed yourself from the girl you are in the friend zone with, will she start chasing you. Also, this is a great time to work on staying out of it with new girls.

Time is beneficial to you here and use it to your advantage. I’m talking about going months without being in touch. It may seem harsh but if you want her that bad, this is what it takes.

After making yourself scarce to her you have opened up a window to change the frame of the relationship. Start sending her mixed signals by escalating touch and showing interest in dating her. Do not be afraid to start flirting with her. You have not talked to her for a while, you want to come back seeming like a different, more sexual person.

Change Your Goals

You want to be coming from the mindset that you want her, but it does not matter if you get her. Remember, you can’t be afraid to lose her. In fact if you are doing any of this to just try and “get her,” it is not going to work. Stop trying to get her. It may take a few months to get out of the mindset where you are trying to be the guy for her, but only then will you be able to start dating her. And at that point it is up to you to decide if you really want her.

If you honestly have a strong friendship with a girl and you really don’t want to ruin it with dating, then you need to accept you will never hook up with her. But you need to ask yourself, is your spending time with her just another hope for you to hook up out of some miracle, or is for your own enjoyment. Remember, people who are platonic don’t sleep together. But if they do, they can become friends that have sex.

More On Getting Out Of The Friend Zone:

• You have to be willing to say no to her.
• You can ask her advice about a girl you are seeing, but more importantly talk about the sexual aspect of it. Make her see you as a someone who enjoys sex.

If you are someone that finds yourself getting into the friend zone, say things along these lines when just getting to know a girl:

• “I speak my mind and it can sometimes get me in trouble, but that’s just who I am.”
• “Don’t play games cause you won’t be able to keep up with me; honesty is what I am attracted to.

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Question: How do you know if a girl likes you and if she does, how can you ask her out? I have a very close friend I would like to date, but I do not want to lose her as a friend. The reasons why I think she likes me is because she has told me how ugly she thinks she is and how she will never find love. We are very close and I do not want to lose her as friend. Please help!

–YouTube Viewer

Let Her Know How You Feel

Honesty is the best way to go on this one. Pretending that you don’t like her as more than a friend or saying that you just want to stay friends because you think that’s what she wants or you’re afraid of ruining the friendship isn’t going to do either of you any good at all. Tell your friend how you feel about her and be completely honest. Let her know why you like her and why you want to be more than friends. Don’t ask for a response right away, because putting her on the spot to accept your romantic invitation may lead to a “no” because she just needs time to absorb the information. Just let her know that you’re telling her how you feel and you simply wanted her to be aware of it. Let her take it from there if she wants to. If she doesn’t make a move, you can continue being friends.

How To Interpret Her Body Language

You may be wondering if your friend has been showing you romantic affection for awhile and you haven’t been picking it up. If a girl likes you, she’s going to give you a lot of body language that shows that she’s sweet on you. She may touch you often, face you when you speak or constantly laugh at your jokes. She may want to be close to you all the time or may want to hang out all the time. Pay close attention to your friend’s body language, because often you will be able to tell if a girl likes you simply because of the way she acts towards you.

Show Her Affection

If you like your friend romantically, it’s important that you show her affection as well as telling her the truth about how you feel. Show her with your body language that you like her. Hug her, be close to her and compliment her. Compliments always go a long way for a woman! Laugh at her jokes and be there for her. If you’re good to her, sooner or later she will see that you’re a great choice for her. But she’ll never choose you if she doesn’t know how you feel about her!

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Question: This is my first question to you guys, and i just got wind saying that you guys know your stuff when it comes to relationships. I got out of a 5 year relationship with my fiance, and its been 3 months. I’m talking to women, and it seems like all women want now is casual sex, no commitment. I feel like I keep getting stuck in the “friend zone” and that’s all women look at me as. Any advice?

–YouTube Viewer

Are You Really Ready For Committment?

It’s a common belief that “like attracts like” and those looking for serious relationships will actually be attracted to each other. If you’ve just gotten out of a long, committed relationship, you may subconciously just be looking for friendships right now and not know it. If you’re only attracting women who simply want to be friends and have casual sex with no strings attached, take a moment to think about if that’s really what you want too. It’s okay if you’re not ready for a serious relationship and having fun with friends is a great way to get yourself back in the dating game. Sit down and really consider what you want at this time. Are you really looking for another committed relationship or are you attracting the kind of people you subconciously want to date right now?

Don’t Rush It

There’s no rush when it comes to dating after ending a serious relationship with someone. Even if you were the one who ended the relationship, the body, mind and soul still needs to grieve for the loss and take time to adjust to a new lifestyle. Things are very different for you now, and it’s important to give yourself time to absorb it. That doesn’t mean isolate yourself, but you may want to be careful about jumping right into another committed relationship. Give yourself time to think about the relationship, but also allow yourself to think about what you want now before you take the next step.

Attracting The Kind Of Partner You Want

When you’re really ready for a committed relationship, trust that you’ll start attracting people who feel the same way you do and are also looking for a committed relationship. Focus more on having fun now, and let whatever happens happen. Time has a funny way of healing old wounds and paving the way for new and better things in your life if you let it. Constantly trying to attract a partner who wants a serious relationship when you don’t – even subconciously – will only put more stress on you and make you feel like you’re not “dateable” material. Don’t worry about it! Just have fun and build new friendships and nurture old ones. Take this opportunity to make your life what you want it to be right now and in time, the right person will come.

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Question: My girlfriend and I just broke up. She stills wants to be friends. I still love her so I am asking if I should try to win her heart again or try to be just friends?

–YouTube Viewer

Be Honest With Yourself – And Your Ex

If you want to win your ex back, be honest with yourself. Don’t try to be just friends with your ex if that’s not what you really want to do. You can’t hide under the ruse of being friends with your ex if you really want to be together again. First, be honest with yourself and admit to yourself that you don’t want to be just friends and that you want your relationship back. Then be honest with your ex too. Let them know you want something more, and you want to give it your all. Don’t half-ass this one. This is one thing you need to do with all your heart and soul. If you want your ex back, go get them back. Do what you need to do to make it happen.

Taking A Break

Your ex may not want to go another round in the relationship ring and if that’s the case, back off a little. Take a break from the emotional upheavel that you and your ex just experienced from the break up and relax a little. Let the air clear and let your emotions settle. If you or your ex are particularly upset or emotional about the break up, trying to be friends without giving yourself adequate time to heal can be a disaster. After you and your ex have had enough time apart to approach each other with a possible friendship, try to be just their friend. Nothing more, nothing less. See where it goes.

Letting Go

Unfortunately, not everything works out the way we want it to. If you want to win your ex back, they may want no part of it. They may not even want to be friends, or it may be vice versa. You may want to move on and your ex may still want to be in a relationship with you. Sometimes, it’s just not meant to work and it won’t, no matter how hard you or your ex try. If you feel like this might be the case, it’s time to let go. Let go of your ex, or move on from them. If you can’t make a relationship work and you can’t be friends with your ex, it’s just simply time to let go, move on and prepare yourself for better things. Letting your ex go so both of you can be happy is hard, but it’s the only way you can have a satisfying relationship in the future if you and your ex can’t work things out.

Related Posts

1. From Boyfriend To Just Friends: Staying Friends With Your Ex
2. My Friends Want Me To Break Up With Him!
3. Friends After Break Up… Why Won’t He Return My Calls?
4. Break Up Confusion – Does She Really Want To Break Up With Me?
5. Here’s How to Make the Transition from Friends to More Than Friends a Little Easier

Question: Hey Dan and Jenn, last night my best friend of 8 years just admitted to wanting to be “more than just friends” with me however, we are both guys so I’m not really interested. He’s asked me to do stuff with him but I can’t seem to give him a straight no, I guess I just don’t want to hurt his feelings. Is there anyway I can permanently turn him down whilst keeping the friendship we had? Any help will be great, thanks.

–YouTube Viewer

Being Afraid Of Hurting Their Feelings

If your friend likes you and wants to be more than friends and have a romantic relationship with you, it can make the friendship very awkward if you want to stay just friends. You may be afraid to hurt them because they’re you’re friend, so you may have avoided telling them the truth about how you really feel. You may be afraid that they’ll think you don’t want to be friends at all, or they may be so hurt or embarassed that they just can’t bear to be friends with you anymore. Either way, if you haven’t told your friend the truth, you’re probably afraid that it hurt them and that it will end the friendship.

Be Honest

Regardless of how afraid you are to tell your friend the truth about not returning their romantic feelings, it’s important that you be honest with them and honest with yourself. Leading them on, even by not saying anything at all, will make it worse when you do finally tell them that you don’t like them that way or when they figure it out on their own. The best thing to do in this situation is to be completely honest, without being critical, and just let them know in a nice way that you don’t want to be romantic with them. Be sure to let them know that you really do value the friendship and want to continue to be friends, but that moving beyond that just isn’t something you are interested in.

If It Affects The Friendship 

No matter how hard you try not to hurt your friend’s feelings, you might end up doing just that. Hopefully if you’ve been honest with them and weren’t critical, they’ll understand and still want to continue the friendship. But no matter how nice or understanding you are about it, you do run the slight chance that they won’t want to stay friends with you. This is usually on account of embarassment on their part, especially if they really thought you felt romantic about them. If this happens, there’s nothing you can do about it, except let your friend know that you really don’t want to see the friendship end. Even if they choose to end the friendship, it’s important that you were honest about your feelings and didn’t lead them on. They’ll appreciate that in the long run.

Related Posts

1. How Do I Tell My Best Friend I Want to Be More Than Friends?
2. How To Tell If You Are Really More Than Friends?
3. From Boyfriend To Just Friends: Staying Friends With Your Ex
4. Aaaahh! Why Does She Want to Be ‘Just Friends’?
5. Are Friends With Benefits REALLY Beneficial?

Fortunately, you’re not alone in this awkward situation. What will it take to get your friend back? Can you?

How Mature Are You And Your Friend?

Moving from the friend zone into a relationship is something that happens all the time. A great number of people do this, and a number of them move back into friend status after the relationship has run its course, regardless of whether the relationship was a week long, a month long or even a few years long.

What’s their secret? How do they do this with seemingly no effort at all?

It depends on how mature the two people in the relationship are. If you and your partner are very mature, you’ll be able to better handle moving from the friend zone to a relationship and back to the friend zone again.

If you and your partner aren’t at a high level of maturity at the point in your relationship where you want to be friends again, you might find it difficult to do so without hurt feelings, resentment and awkwardness experienced by one or both parties.

What can you do?

First, be open and honest with your friend. Tell them how you feel! Talk to them about the friendship and how you felt about it before you made the turn towards dating romantically.

Talk to your friend about how you felt while you were dating romantically and how you feel now that the relationship is ending. Talk to your friend about how continuing the friendship would make you feel and how you can best accomplish that goal without letting old feelings get in the way.

Encourage your partner to share their feelings about those topics with you too. A great deal of awkwardness after an ended relationship is one or both parties refusing to communicate with each other and harboring ill feelings and resentment towards the other. Air your dirty laundry and start with a clean slate!

It Might Be The End

Not every friendship turned relationship turned friendship works out, regardless of the level of maturity by both parties. Sometimes it’s not meant to work out and sometimes issues that were dealt with during the relationship are just too difficult to deal with afterwards in a friendship setting.

That’s okay! It’s heartbreaking, sure. It’s a tough thing to deal with, but it’s probably something you knew going into the relationship – that you might lose your friend because of it. It’s a risk you and your friend both decided to take. If you and your friend are having a difficult time moving back into the friend zone after an ended relationship, it might be time to let it go.

You should talk to your friend about where you see this going, but don’t be surprised if it’s difficult to come up with an answer. Remember that not everything works out the way you want it to, and you certainly gave it a good shot. Feel out the situation and find out if it’s time to move on and do it gracefully!

Related Posts

1. How Can I Turn A Friendship Into Something More?
2. How Do I Tell My Best Friend I Want to Be More Than Friends?
3. Q&A: How To Ask A Good Friend To Go On A Date
4. How To Stay OUT Of The Friend Zone!
5. Q&A: Help! I Keep Getting Stuck In The Friend Zone

You might be tempted to feel the situation out with your friend’s friends, or you might prefer the idea to keeping quiet. How do you approach your best friend if you have feelings for them?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I really like this girl, I think I love her… But she’s one of my best friends and I don’t want to tell her about my feelings because I’m afraid that I will lose my friend. I told her friend about my feelings and I think she told her. Since then she’s gone all weird with me and doesn’t go out with me anymore. She always says that she’s busy or something. What should I do? Please help.

–Fizwan, England

The Friend’s Friends

Bouncing the idea of hooking up with your best friend off their friends’ might sound appealing. You get an opinion that is as close as possible to your best friend’s opinion without actually being their opinion. Sure, it sounds great but in reality, this plan tends to backfire the most. What usually happens is the friend never keeps it quiet and approaches your best friend with the info.

While that’s scary enough, the friend usually puts whatever spin on it they like, based on how they feel about you. If that friend dislikes you or thinks you aren’t a good match for her friend, your best friend might hear a convoluted story. It’s not always this way, but if you tell your best friend’s friend your feelings, you can pretty much guarantee that your best friend will hear about it too.

Keeping Quiet

Risking losing your best friend over your feelings might sound like it’s too much to handle and it might be tempting to just stay quiet rather than risk the end of the friendship.  Sure, if you stay quiet, you won’t risk losing your best friend over your feelings. But you might also be living an unfulfilled life.

What if you grow out of the friendship and end up going separate ways anyway, but you never got to tell your best friend how you felt? Think long and hard about whether you truly want to stay quiet. Make sure it’s a decision you really want to make.

Telling Your Best Friend

You might decide that you want to let your best friend know that you have romantic feelings for them. It takes some guts, but in the end, you might be better off. Just make sure to tell your friend directly how you feel instead of letting someone else do it for you. It’s much better when they hear it straight from you!

If your friendship ends over it, you might want to consider the fact that perhaps your friendship wasn’t meant to be in the first place. Who knows though, your friend could secretly be nursing a crush on you as well!  The only tried and true way to find out if you can make a relationship work with your best friend is talking to them, one on one.

Take It Slow

If you end up being lucky enough to start a romantic relationship with your best friend, you might want to take it slow. Don’t skip the dating process just because you already know each other well.

This might cause you to move to fast and end up crashing and burning later down the road. Take the time to get to know each other in a different way. You might be surprised at how much new things you learn about your best friend!

Related Posts

1. Q&A: How To Turn Down A Good Friend Who Wants To Date
2. I Dated My Friend and It Didn’t Work Out… How Do We Get Our Friendship Back?
3. How Do I Tell My Best Friend I Want to Be More Than Friends?
4. Q&A: How To Ask A Good Friend To Go On A Date
5. Dating Tips: How To Get Out Of The Friend Zone

Nonetheless, it can still be frustrating and intimidating to want to ask out your best friend and not know how or where to start.

Before you go gung-ho and start wooing your friend with wine and dinner, there are a few things you need to ask yourself first.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I like my best friend (there’s trouble there already) and I want to ask her out but I don’t know how. Many other guys like her too.

How do I make my self seem like the one she should go out with?  And how would I do that?

But please hurry! Were going to the movies tomorrow and I’m thinking of asking her out tomorrow.

- Kevin, Texas

Is there true chemistry there that goes above and beyond a friendship?

When you’re best friends with someone, there is a lot of chemistry there already. You both get along together great and you enjoy each other’s company. Basically, you can do anything and everything together. However, if you’re thinking about asking out your best friend, you need to really figure out if there’s more than just friendship there.

Do you feel a chemistry between you and your friend that goes above and beyond the friendship? Do you feel a sexual chemistry? If not, then you are probably better off staying friends. If you do, however, feel that there is something more between you and your friend, you have yet another question to ask yourself. Do you feel like your friend may return your feelings? This may not be something you get the answer to right away, but it’s important to consider before you ask them out.

Do you want to take the initiative and possibly get rejected?

Another thing to take into consideration is the fact that you might end up getting rejected and you might end up losing a friend too. If you suspect that this might be something that happens, consider leaving the friendship where it is at. If you simply can’t live with not telling your friend how you really feel, you need to realize that this may be something that changes the relationship forever, or possibly ends it. Make certain this is something you’re willing to risk before you take the plunge!

Avoid Getting Stuck In The Friend Zone

It generally is never a good idea to become friends with a person with the intent of becoming more than friends. Rarely does this work! Usually, you just get stuck in the friend zone. You end up being a great friend, one who they can share intimate talks with and confide in but realistically, you’re on the same level as their gay friends – someone who they care about deeply but would never consider a romantic relationship an option. If you like someone, be upfront and honest with them about your intentions rather than trying to sneak in the back door.

Telling Your Friend How You Feel

Okay, you’ve decided this is something you want to do and you’re willing to take the risk. Take your friend aside to somewhere you’re alone together and make sure there is plenty of time to tell them how you feel. Avoid cliché’s such as, “I’ve felt this way about you forever” or “I’ve always been in love with you.” These will most likely do little more than overwhelm and possibly frighten your friend!

Take it slow and be casual about it. Let them know that you’re interested in being more than friends and you’d like to spend more time together in a romantic way to see where it leads – and then leave it at that! Hopefully, a relaxed attitude will get you what you’re looking for and you never know – they could feel the same about you!

Related Posts

1. Here’s How to Make the Transition from Friends to More Than Friends a Little Easier
2. The Pitfalls of Suddenly Single Friends
3. I Dated My Friend and It Didn’t Work Out… How Do We Get Our Friendship Back?
4. Q&A: How To Stay JUST Friends
5. Q&A: How To Ask A Good Friend To Go On A Date

You’re alone and lonely, you miss the closeness, you miss being touched and desired, and you may think a FWB (Friends with Benefits) relationship is just what you need.

But have you considered all of the consequences it brings with it?

Imagine a friend approaches you and suggests the two of you embark on a friends with benefits relationship.  If you are attracted to your friend or have wished that your friendship was something more than just a friendship, you might think you have nothing to lose.  You run through all the pros in your mind. Regular sex, intimacy, spending time with someone you like. Hmmm, those sound pretty good!  What the heck? Why not?

Setting the ground rules

One of the first things that usually happens is a discussion of the ground rules.  You may decide that while you are sleeping together you won’t sleep with anyone else.  That if either you meets someone with ‘relationship potential,’ you’re free to walk away without any hassles.  You discuss the fact that it’s not a relationship.  No romantic feelings should be involved.  It’s just about the sex.  Or is it?

Those pesky hormones

The problem is, especially it seems for women, that feelings do develop.  Biology gets involved releasing hormones, such as oxytocin, that make us form an attachment when, in reality, none exists.

It’s almost certain to happen.  She imagines she feels more than she really does. And this, my friends, is how you end up getting hurt.

If you already have some feelings for your friend, you may go into these FWB relationships thinking that he’ll develop feelings for you.

Guess what? It isn’t going to happen.  If he was going to develop feelings for you, he more than likely already would have.

Men do not have the same biology issue that women have.  He is totally able to have his cake and eat it too without any pesky old feelings getting in the way.  He’ll say good bye, forget about you until next week when he gets horny again and that will be that.  He isn’t going to fall in love with you just because he starts sleeping with you.

Single white female seeking nothing

Sometimes you might think that this will be good for you until you do meet someone with relationship potential.  From my own personal experience, the problem with that is that, well, you kind of stop looking.  I mean your body has formed an attachment to this guy, your heart is involved, and you’re having sex on a regular basis. Why on earth would you keep looking?

You should. This is bound to end badly, but often women delude themselves sticking their heads in the sand pretending it’s all okay.

It’s not all okay

Inevitably, it’s got to end either because you can’t deal with the unreciprocated feelings or because he’s getting nervous about them.  Either way, you’ve probably not only ended your friends with benefits relationship, but your friendship as well.  And, the cold hard truth of the matter is, it’s just not worth it.

The biggest blow will likely be to your self esteem.  It will start as a fleeting thought such as “I guess I’m not good enough to have a relationship with. I must only be good enough for sex.”  Soon, that little thought will blossom into a full fledged attack on your self worth.  Next thing you know, you believe you’re not good enough.

Just say no

Do you really want to be that girl?  No sex in the world, no matter how good it is, is worth the risk.  The negative feelings of self worth, the possible loss of a friendship and the possibility of missing out on someone who is right for you are a big price to pay for a roll in the hay.

So, the next time a friend approaches you with just such a proposition, take a minute to really weigh the pros and cons.  If your friend cares about you at all, he’ll respect all of the reasons why friends should remain just friends.

Related Posts

1. All Friends With No Benefits
2. Will Friends With Benefits Work?
3. Here’s How to Make the Transition from Friends to More Than Friends a Little Easier
4. Q&A: How To Stay JUST Friends
5. From Boyfriend To Just Friends: Staying Friends With Your Ex

But what’s EVEN WORSE is loving her from no distance at all… being her best friend and wanting, hoping, wishing it could be more.

Here’s a question from a man in Arizona who’s desperately wondering why the woman he loves from the barren depths of the friend zone won’t take that risk to be more than friends…

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Well, I have known this girl for a while now and when we started hanging out we were getting ready to take our friendship to something more… but she got scared and left?

Now she keeps coming back in and out of my life and saying that we are good friends. I finally got the courage to ask her why she didn’t let me be the man that she can love, and she told me that we are great friends and she was scared of ruining our friendship.

Why wouldn’t she take the same risk with me that she had taken with others, including her current boyfriend? Help!

– Daniel, Arizona

Why do Some Women Torture Men by Keeping Them “Just Friends” Instead of Lovers?

Contrary to what some of guys may think, the woman of your dreams (who happens to also be your friend) probably really values your friendship. Yes, it’s possible for women to have dear friends who are men, without being attracted to them in a romantic or sexual sense.

Rampant homophobia aside, straight guys also have both male and female friends they’re very close to, without being sexually attracted to them.

There is of course also the remote possibility that she’s not aware of your feelings. This is a real long shot, and it generally implies that she’s not very observant and doesn’t listen to her intuition. You can always tell if someone likes you – all you have to do is listen.

And, maybe she wants to be with you romantically as well, but she’s afraid to approach you for whatever reason. Maybe she’s shy or afraid of rejection. Maybe she believes the man has to make the first move. Sometimes two people truly want to be together, but neither one makes the move.

Either way, it’s your move. If you want to know, you’ve got to take that first step and make a move. It doesn’t have to be a major item, but escalate things until it’s very, very clear that you are interested.

When You Finally Share Your Feelings With Her, Why Does She Not Reciprocate?

What if you’ve shared your feelings and she STILL doesn’t want to date you? And she’ll probably give you some good, logical reasons for it. But you have to find the REAL deep down reason, and it’s usually not the logical one. As human beings, we often use logic to support emotional decisions, basically a way to excuse what we really want to do.

Here are a few possible reasons…

1. She truly values your friendship more than romance

OK, this one sounds good, but it’s pretty unlikely. People take just about any risk imaginable for the very possibility of finding true love, closeness with another, and of course, amazing sex.

2. She just doesn’t like you that way!

While this is NOT what you want to her, it’s by far the most likely situation. You may WANT her to like you as a lover, but she only likes you as a friend.

Think back… surely at some point in your life, maybe back in school, you had someone attracted to you, but you didn’t feel that way about them. You may have liked them as a person, but you didn’t have romantic or sexual feelings about them. Now, this same thing is happening with you.

Moving On – Letting Go and Finding the RIGHT Woman for You

Hanging out in the friend zone is no way to live. She thinks you’re just being a friend – of course she probably knows very well that you want it to be more, but doesn’t want to lose your friendship. And you’re unhappy because you’re trying to make this relationship into something it just isn’t. That’s not fair to you and it’s not fair to her.

And by keeping her in your life and WANTING it to be more, you’re literally stopping the RIGHT woman from entering your life. It’s time for you to move on and actually find a woman that WANTS to be with you romantically and sexually, not “just friends”. Decide that you’re ready to find someone new, and open yourself to the opportunity of finding that perfect someone.

Approach other women, talk with them, ask them out, and have fun!

Related Posts

1. From Boyfriend To Just Friends: Staying Friends With Your Ex
2. Here’s How to Make the Transition from Friends to More Than Friends a Little Easier
3. Can You Trust Your Partner to Be JUST Friends with a Previous Lover?
4. Friends? Lovers? Pick One! – The One That Got Away…
5. Is It Wrong To Be Friends With My Boyfriend’s Ex-Girlfriend?

Help! How can I escape the dreaded friend zone?

Of course, sometimes men get up the nerve to talk to women they like, but not quite to ask them out. So they become friends. And if they’re not careful, they STAY just friends… sliding down the slippery slope of the friend zone.

But here’s the real gem. Women will usually drop plenty of hints and innuendos, encouraging men to take that first step… to break the ice and ask them out. All you have to do is pay attention.

So don’t just sit there hoping for something to magically happen on it’s own. Take control of your own destiny. Talk to her and see where it goes!

Caution! Will you REALLY be happy just being her friend?

Then again, be prepared for whatever comes. If she’s not interested in a romantic relationship at the time, you have to decide if you would be truly want to be friends just to be close to her, of if it’s better to move on.

If so, then it’s worth a shot. Otherwise, do yourself and her a favor and move on. But remember, she may only be willing to be friends.

The secret – act out of love, not out of the fear of rejection

Every decision we make in life fundamentally comes down to one of two major motivators: love of fear.

When you take action, be open and completely at peace with whatever the outcome will be. Don’t dread the fact that she may possibly (for whatever reason) not be interested in a relationship with you at this time, and whatever you do – don’t be judgmental of her response. Accept yourself and her for where you are at this point in your lives.

Missed opportunities for love

We’ve all been there at one time or another in our lives. An amazing opportunity shows itself, and for some reason or another we don’t act. And by the time we decide to take action, the evaporates into thin air. That’s so frustrating!

Is that missed love opportunity gone forever?

Whether you’re talking about love, business, or money, opportunity is all about timing AND the courage to ACT. If you don’t seize the opportunity when it’s hot and fresh, then you may as well come to terms with the fact that you’re going to miss out. Chalk it up to lessons learned and wisdom gained, and move on.

BUT when dealing with people and romantic relationships, there are some exceptions to this rule. So… CAN you get her back even if you’ve missed that “right” opportunity?

Here’s a question from a man in Pennsylvania facing this very frustrating problem…

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hello! I’m glad I stumbled onto your website since I have a dilemma of my own regarding dating. Nearly 2 years ago I became friends with one of my female co-workers. Eventually the friendship grew stronger as we started hanging out more and getting to know ourselves better. Of course, I eventually developed an attraction for this friend, but remained silent (big mistake). She dropped me many hints suggesting I should make a move and take the friendship to the next level. Unfortunately, I failed to read some of those signals and hence failed to act.

About two months later after she dropped these signals I confessed my feelings to her. Unfortunately she said that she did not feel the same way. She mentioned something about having feelings for me early in our friendship, but that the moment had passed. Of course after her rejection our friendship changed, and little by little we drifted apart. Although she made efforts to keep the friendship alive, I rejected her efforts. I figured it would be best for me to move on, and save my energy for the girl that would reciprocate those romantic feelings.

I eventually moved from the city where we met in order to pursue a higher level of education. Once again she tried to contact me, and even though I replied it was a bit of a half-ass effort (for lack of a better word) on my part. I haven’t heard from her in nearly 10 months now, and I miss her. I’m trying to convince myself that I should not be a coward and should give this thing a shot once again with a new approach. Its been nearly two years since I told her how I felt about her, and yet I still have strong feelings for her. It’s sad to admit, but I’ve never felt this way about anyone before.

What should I do? Should I just cast her out of my life forever? Am I condemned eternally to the “friends zone”? How do I get out of the “Friends Zone”? What should I do this time around to win her heart? Thank you for taking the time to hear my rants . I hope to hear from you soon.

– Nate, Pennsylvania

Related Posts

1. Can Your Friends Or Lovers Be Holding You Back?
2. Previous Lovers – I’m Not Her First! How Can I Forgive Her?
3. From Boyfriend To Just Friends: Staying Friends With Your Ex
4. Aaaahh! Why Does She Want to Be ‘Just Friends’?
5. Here’s How to Make the Transition from Friends to More Than Friends a Little Easier

Fact is, it’s only natural to continue to have feelings for your ex even after the break up. But what happens when your partner remains good friends with their ex? Is it possible for them to be ‘just’ friends or will they be prone to ‘slippage’?

Is this really possible? Should you trust them?

We feel that love is not finite and that it’s very possible to love many different people for different reasons. We love our children, our parents, our friends, and our pets. We love them all dearly, but in slightly different ways.

So, yes. We do think it’s possible for your partner to remain friends with their ex girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse. There’s nothing wrong with this as long as there are no secrets about the relationship. Your partner should be completely open and honest with you about their feelings and where they stand.

How can you address the jealousy monster?

Even with full disclosure, there’s bound to be some jealousy from either their previous partner or from you. In today’s society, many treat their partners like they own them, telling them who they can talk to, where they can go, and when… The best way to combat the jealousy monster in this situation is open and honest communication and lots and lots of reassurance.

What if you suspect that there’s more than friendship going on?

So you’ve been completely flexible and trusting, but you have this nagging feeling that there’s more to this friendship than meets the eye?

If you believe that your partner is playing the friend card to hide an affair, you should trust your instincts. Trust but verify. If your partner is hiding things or seeing an ex behind your back, that’s a problem.

Try talking to them in a non-confrontational manner. They may just be afraid of your reaction. But if talking doesn’t work, it’s time to realize that they may be more than friends. At that point, you’ll have to make some hard decisions about your relationship.

Here’s a question from Olivia who’s in this exact situation.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I have been with my boyfriend about 2 years. We both are deeply in love. He is kind of guy who knows how to love women and make her happy. He is also very kind, friendly and loyal.

The problem is he had a relationship with his ex for about 7 years, where they lived together. Now she moved in other country, but she often asks him for help. He always does it for her. At the beginning I never cared, because the way he behaves shows me that he is really in love with me.

But recently I found out that he sends his ex her favorite magazine via E-Mail weekly. He scans the article and sends it to her. Now I am really doubting if he really get over his ex… And I don’t know if it is appropriate to ask him again if he didn’t get over her 100%, to which I guess he would say definitely no. I really need your opinion! I only worried that he is too nice to say no to women.

– Olivia (Germany)

Related Posts

1. Trust And Ultimatums – Can I Trust Her?
2. Previous Lovers – I’m Not Her First! How Can I Forgive Her?
3. Can I Trust Her Or Is She Playing Me For A Fool?
4. From Boyfriend To Just Friends: Staying Friends With Your Ex
5. Dealing With Trust Issues For A Healthier Relationship

You know the feeling… you’ve been dating for months, and he still won’t say those magical little words. How frustrating! Why are so many men (and some women for that matter) so afraid to say “I love you”? Is it really so hard?

Is he unsure about you, or just afraid of commitment?

Of course that leaves you wondering… is he really ready to give himself fully to you, or is he holding back? Is he doubting himself, or worse, is he doubting you?

Or is he just afraid of commitment? But you still have to wonder why that is.

How can you know he’s really over his ex wife or girlfriend?

In the end, you want to feel that he’s completely over the other woman – his ex wife, girlfriend, etc – and wants only you. And it’s only natural to want to hear those words from him, to want that reassurance that he feels the same way you do.

But how do you make him say it without damaging your relationship and even breaking up? More importantly, SHOULD you insist he say anything at all?

Should you demand to hear “I Love You” – or else?

Drawing that line in the sand sometimes feels like a good idea – a last hope of security and stability – but it can often backfire. Many couples break up every day just because they get too hung up on the terms they use to define their relationship, on saying certain words, etc.

Fact is, every relationship is unique, because every person is unique. When we try to put relationships in a firm box, we often end up disappointed, and sometimes we end up alone…

Love by any other name?

If you are generally happy in your relationship, how about trying to live your life one day at a time, enjoying the wonderful time with your partner, and not worrying about what to call it.

Be sure to read the question, then watch the video and leave your thoughts below.

Here’s the full story…

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My boyfriend and I just broke up after a year long relationship. He has been struggling getting over his divorce. He had been in divorce preceding when we met and separated for a year at that point.

When we started I said “I don’t think you are over your ex-wife, get back to me when you are.” He said he “didn’t want to lose me and he wanted to try.” He tried I guess.

I of course fell in love over the year. In Feb. I told him I need to be with someone who was in love with me and could say it. I gave him 2 months time to think about it. He said he didn’t want to lose me but he didn’t know how long it would be before he could love someone, and didn’t want to lead me on and waste my time.

I am devastated. He says I have many qualities he wants in a partner and I’ve done everything right. We are just in different places and he needs to get over the divorce alone. He says he hasn’t written me off and I wasn’t a rebound, but i feel he has and that I was. Have I lost him forever? And what can I do to NOT lose him?

I am trying to move on but i feel I have made the biggest mistake and lost the best guy. He wants to be friends, I can’t handle it and i am petrified to go into the friend zone. I just don’t want to lose out. What’s should I do?

- Ann from California

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