Normal Sexual Progression In A Relationship

Often, sex can get pretty lame when you’re in a relationship – especially if your relationship is long term and you and your partner are monogamous. Many times what will happen in situations like these is that one or both partners start getting comfortable with the relationship and the sex, and don’t bother to use their imagination to come up with new things. It often happens to guys because once they figure out the “secret formula” to getting their girl to reach orgasm, they stick with it! They don’t want to go trying different strokes, techniques or sex positions because they found what works. If it’s not broken, why fix it, right?

This is not at all uncommon, however, that doesn’t make it any less frustrating. Girls don’t always want “A + B + C = Orgasm” sex. They want passion and variety! They want to experiment. A girl can spice things up in the bedroom but she’s got to have a game plan first.

Stop Bitching

One of the biggest reasons guys get less interested in making sex adventurous over time is because their partners get more and more comfortable griping about this and that. Women often do this because as the “warm fuzzies” begin to wear off as the relationship gets older, annoying habits start becoming more and more apparent. Most of the time, they’re not make-or-break-the-relationship types of things – but as a girl gets more comfortable with her guy, she will often want to “fix” him. She’ll think that by telling him what she doesn’t like that he’ll stop and start doing things her way.

You may think your nagging is letting him know that you don’t like a certain behavior, but all it’s really doing is killing his sex drive. He doesn’t see it as you gently guiding him in the right direction – he sees it as nagging, bitching, griping, etc. He’ll still leave his dirty underwear on the floor but he won’t bother taking yours off and throwing them down next to his.

Make An Effort To Be Sexy

While he probably thinks you’re cute in your flannel pajamas, if that’s all you’re wearing, he’s going to start seeing you as non-sexual and just wonderfully cuddly. While this can be an advantage on those cold days when you just don’t feel like doing anything but snuggling up in your man’s arms, if this is all you’re getting, you’re going to wonder what happened to make your guy not want to have sex with you as much anymore, or just not care about trying new things.

The truth is, he wants BOTH sides of you. Sweet, cuddly and wearing flannels without makeup. But other times, he wants to be reminded that he’s with an incredible sex vixen who will ride him all night long! So make a point to wear lingerie to bed sometimes. And heels. When you look sexy, you feel sexy. When you feel sexy, you look sexy. Don’t forget that confidence is truly the sexiest thing you can wear. Rock it like a bombshell and he’ll be on fire!

Don’t Underestimate Sex Games

A fantasy box is an incredibly fun, non-threatening way to introduce your lover to new things and ideas when it comes giving him sex tips and letting him know what you want in bed. This can be as simple or as elaborate as you and your partner want it to be. You can indulge your crafty side and make a fun fantasy box, or use something you have around the house. The more you put into this fun sex game, the more you get out of it. That is, unless you have some damn good imagination. If you do though, it won’t matter one bit if all you have is bar napkins and a Styrofoam cup.

With the “fantasy box” sex game, you and your partner each get to write a secret fantasy that you’d like to try out. Write a few down, three from each of you is a fun number to start with. What you actually write down can range from tame to super kinky, but agree on how hot you’re going to get before you start – you can always start small and up the ante later. It will be pretty awkward if you write down “Spank my ass hard and call me your whore while having sex doggy style” and his says “french kiss for 10 minutes.”  Consider thinking of different “levels” of how hot you want it to be, and decide on a “level” before you start writing down your ideas.

Throw your slips of paper in the box, mix them up and take turns fishing them out. You will, of course, have much more fun trying them out! This is often all that is needed to rev up a “vanilla” guy – simply because they don’t see the fantasy box as a threat to their ego/manhood/pride like they would if you outright told him what he was doing wrong and gave him sex tips.

Reward Him

Men are awesome like puppies – loving, playful and in need of praise when they do something right. When your man does something especially hot that you’re totally into, make some noise! Do NOT let the opportunity slip away – if he doesn’t hear anything, he’s going to assume he’s done something you don’t like and move on to the next ideas or sex tips. So if you don’t let him know when he does something spot on, you’re really screwing yourself because he’ll never learn what you like!

Let him know how much it turns you on when he does something good. Also, reward him by doing something he really enjoys – like giving him an amazing blowjob. This doesn’t apply only to sex either. You can mix and match. Reward him for a sweet gesture like filling up your car with gas by giving him road head. Or taking him on an impromptu shopping spree at the manly store of his choice. Either way, so long as you reward him for anything he does that pleases you. Because when you do, he’ll want to do it again!

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A striptease always in order, but as many women are not only self conscious about their bodies but their dance moves as well, this is not an option for everyone. If you like to dance though, throw on a cute outfit and pop in a sexy song while giving your partner an eyeful and a lap dance. We promise, it won’t be long before your partner can’t stand it anymore and is nearly busting out of his zipper. If you want to try doing a striptease before fellatio and are a little worried that your dancing isn’t up to scratch, stop worrying! Almost all men aren’t paying attention to how well you are dancing or anything of that nature. They’re too busy watching choice body parts jiggle and gyrate.

If You’re Not Into Doing A Striptease

Not a striptease kind of gal? Not to worry – a nice piece of lingerie can work wonders as well. Just make sure it is something you feel comfortable in and maximizes your best assets. Your partner may have a preference to the type of lingerie he likes but honestly, most men don’t care what type it is (whether it’s bikini cut or boy cut, etc.) as long as it’s lacy and see through! Women that are uncomfortable about having small breasts can buy lingerie with a little bit of padding for an extra lift and women that are concerned about their tummy can purchase what is called a “baby doll” type of lingerie – a sexy bra with a sheer or lacy material attached to it to flow over the tummy. It is enough to cover you up but it is still enticing!

How To Buy The Right Lingerie

• Find a lingerie store with dimmed lighting – no one will feel comfortable in lingerie underneath harsh, fluorescent lighting. If it’s not possible to find a store with dim lighting, consider buying your size and keeping the tags on and the receipt handy while you try it on at home. If it doesn’t fit, you can take it back.
• Absolutely wear something that you find yourself attractive in and feel comfortable in. If you are not comfortable and confident, you will not look sexy to your partner before fellatio!  Isn’t that the whole point of lingerie? Even if your breasts are not hanging out and the lingerie is simple, if you can walk over to your partner and feel like a bombshell then your partner will probably think you’re a bombshell!

How To Give Him Even More Eye Candy

Interestingly enough, oral sex is a good visual tool by itself. Your mouth working up and down his hard penis may be just enough eye candy for him – and you guessed it – most guys like to watch while you do it! This feels incredibly good to a man – it makes the connection between mind and body and gives the fellatio a whole new aspect to it. You can also look him in the eye while giving him fellatio if you and your partner enjoy this. The more visual stimulation during a fellatio session, the better!

If you’re not comfortable with your partner watching you while you perform fellatio on him, you can try dimming the lights or using candlelight. This may help relax both of you and it will help set the mood for fellatio. Dim lighting or candlelight is somewhat of a compromise between full lighting and complete darkness – your partner gets to see you perform fellatio on him but you get the comfort of not doing so in the blaring lights.

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He Doesn’t Want To Try “Butt Stuff”

This applies to “butt stuff” on HIM. Most guys enjoy anal sex with women, but the street doesn’t go both ways. Although you can give him a totally fierce orgasm via prostate massage, he’s not likely going to be very receptive to it unless he’s very adventurous. Suggesting that you put a finger up his anus while giving him a blowjob might get you a strange look, or it may get you thrown out of the bedroom depending on how much the “butt stuff” freaks him out.

Some guys will politely turn you down, while others will be convinced that you’re trying to turn them gay and run for the hills. Read your man – if he likes a lot of naughty stuff, he might be into it. If he’s more of a “vanilla” guy, don’t even bother bringing it up.

Lingerie That Has Too Many Clasps, Buttons, Zippers, etc.

Does he love seeing you wear sexy lingerie? Hell yeah, he does! But he also wants to take it OFF. And if taking off whatever you’re wearing is more like diffusing a bomb than getting you undressed sexily, your man is going to become frustrated well before he ever gets to see you naked. Keep this in mind when choosing lingerie.

Garter belts are totally hot, but they’re also a pain in the ass to get on and off. If you want to go that route, just leave them on during sex and make sure he has full access to your breasts and nether regions. If you want to wear something sexy to bed, go for it. Just make sure your guy can actually get it off of you in a short amount of time. Because honestly, if you do the lingerie right, he’s going to want to rip it off you ASAP anyways.

Watching Porn With You

Lots of sex tips suggest watching porn with your partner to help you and him get aroused before sex. Yes, your guy watches porn. He likes it, he masturbates to it, but he doesn’t want to watch it with YOU. There could be many reasons why, such as he had a past girlfriend totally freak out on him about it or he just really enjoys you so much that he doesn’t want his attention drawn to other women (we’re going to pretend it’s the latter – it could be true).

Unless your guy suggests it or brings it up, leave it alone. Let the porn stay on his computer or under his bed and let him enjoy his solo time with it just like that – solo. But don’t be afraid to get your own porn stash going – if porn turns you on, why don’t you watch it the way he does? Solo?

Drunk Sex

Lots of great sex has been born from having a few drinks beforehand. But great sex does not come from being so totally sloshed you can’t get your underwear off. Yeah, we’ve all had our crazy nights and have woke up wondering what the hell happened (and from what you can remember, it was pretty damn fun) but that’s not something your guy wants to do all the time. In fact, being completely shitfaced during sex is probably something you want to save for one night stands, mistakes you’ll regret later, etc. and so on.

Another thing to note here is that if he drinks too much, it’s likely he’ll have “liquor dick” and won’t be able to get or maintain a good erection. So yeah, he doesn’t want drunk sex. Feel free to engage in having a few drinks beforehand to take the edge off and lower your inhibitions a little bit, but know when to put the drink down and head to the bedroom.

Kinky Sex That Goes Too Far

Many sex tips resources assume that all men like kinky sex and the kinkier the better. This is actually far from the truth. While most guys will enjoy the occasional bondage scenario (such as being handcuffed to the bed for a blowjob) or spanking their girl during doggy style, kinky sex that goes too far is actually going to scare you partner away. Don’t be afraid to try new things, but breaking out the cock cage, leather whip and dog collar will ensure that you’ll never see hide nor hair of your man again.

This is, of course, unless your man is super into kinky sex (which you would have already known if he is). If he’s just your average Joe, learn how to give an excellent blowjob instead. That will impress him far more than whipping out all the sex toys and kinky stuff in your nightstand drawer.

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If racy undergarments, racks of sex toys, and adult videos make you want to hide beneath the sheets, you sure are oblivious of what real moments of ecstasy and fun feels like. It is indeed a curious exhilaration to discover your sensual side and embrace a whole new world of sexual fun.

Before we get to the point, the first of these sex tips would be – relax! Put your guards down and you, the uptight lot – think less, and feel more. Now that you are ready to experience the best of your body and carnal desires, here is a list of suggestions that would transform you into a seductive tigress:

Wear Sexy Lingerie That Reveals Your Curves Just Right

When you feel sexy, you look sexy. If thongs are what caters to your fancy, try going in for a nice lace thong that has a wider back to ensure better comfort, like the popular 4811 thong from Hanky Panky, or the Never Say Never by Cosabella. Another secret is hidden in boy shorts. Guys love them – really! So get yourself one that fits you, and gives a small glimpse of your cheeks. Sometimes the idea of sex is itself so erotic. Lace boy shorts are a good pick.

Also, you cannot deny how hot garter belts are! You can either keep them hanging loose on your bare legs, or simply clip them to some thigh-highs. Both ways, it’s gonna be irresistible!

Dive In With Sex Toys

Do not complicate. Since you would be a beginner with sex toys, start on with anything that is small and easy to use. A LELO Mia or Nea are discreet choice for masturbation. For some adventurous fun, the We-Vibe and Pleasure Commander are some of the best selling sex toys for couples. One thing that you must not forget is that these are mere toys and not a replacement of your lover – they simply make lovemaking more fun and brings in versatility to your bedroom.

Try Lube

Silicone-based lubes, such as Pjur or Swiss Navy are great choices as they do not contain any biocides or parabens, and often remain slippery for a longer duration, in comparison to their water-based counterparts.

Be sure to stick to glycerin-free lubes, as anything that contains glycerin is bound to have sugar that can instigate yeast infection. Lubes that have warming ingredients have also been known to have caused some allergic reactions, so they are also a big NO! But you can always take lube in your hand and rub them for a few minutes, it will warm up on its own.

Watch Some Good Porn

Yes, there are adult videos that both men and women can enjoy together. Anything that will have some stimulating foreplay and a bit of storyline will get you started well. Couples videos usually make for a good watch as they normally focus shots, face shots, have attractive performers, as well as more sensuality that will get you going between the sheets right away. The Masseuse starring Jenna Jameson or the Chemistry Series starring Tristen Taormino are a big hit among the couples. Eyes of Desire or The Bridal Shower are some good bets if you want some story to go along with it.

Grab Some Erotic Books

Instinctively you may be thinking of picking up some how-to books to explore new ideas. There are many books out there that can inspire you immensely. A game of truth or dare, or reading aloud an erotic fiction to your lover can also ignite that fizzle and make the passion burn forever.

Creativity in bedroom keeps boredom out of your relationship and entwines you with him for love, lust and more, that is bound to last until eternity.

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While Apartment Hunting

Apartment hunting can be pretty intense if you don’t have something to distract you. Some apartment landlords will hand out the keys to the apartments without accompanying you to the place. This is a great time to break in a new place! Check out the floor plan and then do it on the floor – or do it doggy style in the tub. Make sure to bring a few tissues with you – the water may not be turned on to rinse away the evidence of your tryst.

While Test Driving A New Car

Test out the backseat in a new car when you’re test driving it. Park the car in an obscure location and get busy – you can do it the traditional way in the backseat, or you can use the front passenger side seat if it reclines back far enough. You can also have oral sex this way if you get into the sixty-nine position!

In A Public Restroom In A Department Store

If you want to have sex in a department store, the best place you’re going to find is the restroom or the dressing room. The restroom offers less privacy than a dressing room, which may be more fun for you and your partner depending on if you’re into public sex. Make sure you pick a clean restroom!

In A Dressing Room

If the restroom is occupied or you just want somewhere a little cleaner to go, try the dressing room of a department store. Some dressing rooms have attendants and others don’t, so you want to try to find one that doesn’t have an attendant if you don’t want to get caught. It’s more likely that you’ll find a dressing room that isn’t attended later in the evening or close to the time that the store will be closing. Of course, you don’t want to get caught after the store closes, so give yourself plenty of time!

In A Show Camper In A Sports Store

Whether you’re thinking of buying a camper or not, taking a “look” inside it can be incredibly fun! Many sports stores will have campers set up for customers to tour, especially if it is a very large sports store. If the store is rather empty, you can duck into the camper for a quickie before anyone notices! Have fun by doing it on the fold out table (make sure it can hold your weight!) or missionary style on the camper’s bed.

In A Mobile Home Demo

Like with an apartment, you can often get away for a few minutes under the premise of touring a mobile home. Again, you’ll have to find a mobile home dealer that doesn’t accompany each of his or her customers to the home. Although, you can always as for a few minutes to discuss it privately, at which point the salesperson will most likely head to the other side of the house or somewhere else out of the way. Just be quiet if you don’t want them suspecting what you’re doing!

Under The Holiday Display At The Mall

‘Tis the season for hot sex and you can add a little bit of holiday cheer to public sex by getting it on under or in a holiday display at the mall. Many of these displays have nooks or crannies that you can hide in, or large Christmas trees you can hide behind. Either way, just make sure you’re not doing it during the hours that small children are around, lining up to see Santa! You’d have some angry parents on your hands if you were to get caught. Instead, try waiting until late evening shortly before the mall closes when there aren’t as many customers walking around.

On A Sample Bed At The Mattress Store

This one pretty much guarantees you will get caught, but if you like the idea of getting busted getting your groove on or just really want to do it in a mattress store, you’ll enjoy this. You also aren’t really going to be able to get naked in a mattress store. A handjob might be an alternative, because it’s a little more difficult for the salesperson to spot what you’re doing.

In The Dressing Room At A Lingerie Store

While this is similar to having sex in the dressing room at a department store, it’s a little bit sexier doing it in a lingerie store. This is because not only is the lighting better and will make you and your partner look great doing it, but you’ll also have fun parading around in the lingerie before you get busy! Just be aware that if you do get caught having sex while wearing the lingerie, you’re probably going to have to pay for it.

In A Show Car In The Middle Of The Mall

Another great place to have sex in the mall is in a show car. Most of the time, the windows are tinted dark, so no one will be able to see what is going on inside the car unless they’re standing really close to it and looking in. Again, you have less of a chance of getting caught if you go at a time that there aren’t a lot of people in the mall, but be aware that the doors of the car may be locked and you may not be able to get in.

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Domination Vs. Submission

Very few people enjoy both domination and submission, so it’s safe to say you generally like one or the other. Now, domination and submission doesn’t always involve BDSM or sex escapades that are really out there. You can definitely experiment with dominant and submissive roles in the bedroom without getting too crazy.

Are You A Dominant Personality?

Think about what turns you on – do you like being in a position of power over your partner? Do you like to tell your partner what to do to you? If so, you may have a dominant personality. If you know you have a little bit of a dominant personality, take it a step further in the bedroom and really bring out your alter ego. No, you don’t have to bring out the whips and chains. Here are some easy ways to experiment with domination without going too far.

• Order your partner around. Have them do sexy things for you or to you.
• Try light spanking. Tell your partner that they’ve been “naughty” and need reprimanding.
• Experiment with a little bondage. A silk tie makes a great blindfold or impromptu handcuffs. You don’t have to bring out the heavy duty rope to have a little fun with tying your partner up or taking away their sense of sight.

Are You A Submissive Personality?

If the idea of being dominant over your partner just doesn’t do it for you, but the idea of them being a little dominant over you intrigues you, you may be more of a submissive personality. Think about receiving a spanking from your lover or having your lover tell you what to do to them. Does it turn you on? If the idea sparks some interest but you’ve never tried it before, here are some ways to start to bring out your submissive personality.

• Tell your partner that you’ve been very, very “bad” and need to be reprimanded. See if they catch your drift.
• Let your partner gently tie your hands behind your back while they tease you, leaving you helpless to stop what they’re doing to you.
• Get on your hands and knees in front of your partner. Crawl towards him slowly before unzipping his pants for a blowjob.
• Let your partner use sex toys on you. This can be even more fun with a blindfold because you’re not sure what they’re going to use next!

Playing Pretend

You may think that playing pretend is for kids, but you can turn it into sex games to make it a more adult activity. Think about different roles that would work with your inner personality. For example:

Fun Role Play For A Dominant Personality

• Have your partner be a “dog” while you be the owner. This is a great role to use when you want your partner to perform oral sex on you.
• Act out a teacher/student fantasy. Give your partner a test and then tell them that they failed it and you need to “tutor” them on how to do it correctly.
• Be a dirty cop. “Arrest” your partner for a crime and keep them hostage until they “earn” their way to freedom.
• Try being a sexy nurse. Have your partner assume the role of a wounded patient that needs your immediate “medical” attention.
• Capitalize on the recent craze in vampires and approach your partner wearing a pair of sexy fangs. Let them know you’re not out to suck their blood though – and you can prove it by showing them what you do want to suck on!

Fun Role Play For A Submissive Personality

• Act as a French maid, or a maid of any kind. Clean up after your partner, or “serve” them sexually.
• Try adopting the personality of a “school girl.” This can be with or without an outfit, but an outfit will make you look and feel more submissive to your lover in this role.
• Look for a Princess Leia slave costume and act out the role with your partner. Surprisingly, a ton of guys – especially Star Wars fans – dig this sex fantasy.
• Have your partner act out the part of a sexy firefighter that rescues you from a burning building or from being trapped in a car.
• Don an Indian girl costume and have your partner assume the role of “John Smith.”
• Be Little Red Riding Hood while your partner acts as  the wolf – and completely takes you over.

Bring In Costumes

While you may feel a little shy about wearing a sexy costume, but even just a few props can make the role play feel more realistic and be a lot more fun! Even home made costumes can really make a difference! Consider getting a few things to make your role play more fun, such as a red cloak to be Little Red Riding Hood or a sexy police costume to act out the role of a dirty cop. If you can’t get your hands on an adult costume, here are some easy things you can grab from your house and turn into a sexy prop:

• A white dress shirt can be tied at the waist and paired with a skirt for a “sexy school girl” outfit.
• A bikini with a few silk ivy leaves glued to it can easily make a sexy “Eve” costume for an Adam and Eve role play.
• A cut up sheet can suffice as a Pocahontas or Indian outfit.
• Check out thrift stores in your area – you’ll be surprised at what you can find if you use your imagination!

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