Anal sex can be fun and intriguing if you’re smart about it, but what if your partner becomes addicted to anal sex? What do you do?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My boyfriend and I have a wonderful emotional relationship as well as a wonderful physical relationship. He recently convinced me to try anal sex. I hated it at first but after giving it a few extra shots it was ok. He loves it so much! So most of the time I let him finish there. Lately I’ve noticed that if we skip the anal and just stick to vaginal, he can’t finish and just ends up loosing his erection. Am I not tight enough anymore in comparison?? I am 20 and he is 32… Is there a possibility that he is loosing his drive?

– Frustrated Girl

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Is This A Medical Issue?

Enjoying anal sex is nothing to be ashamed about. Lots of people enjoy anal sex! However, if your partner is wanting to have a lot of anal sex, you might be concerned. Even more so, if your partner is losing their erection if they’re not having anal sex, you might wonder what you’re doing wrong or if there’s something wrong with your partner.

Talk to your partner about it. Find out how they feel. They might not know that you don’t want to have as much anal sex as they do, so you need to talk about it with them. You might be able to find a compromise between anal and traditional sex.

If your partner is consistently losing his erection, that could be another issue altogether. If this is the case, consider seeing a medical doctor and even a sex therapist to find out what might be the issue.

Out, Not In

Remember that the anal canal was created to be an exit, not an entrance. That doesn’t mean you can’t have a little fun with it now and again, but you certainly don’t want to make a huge habit out of it. The anal canal is not self lubricating meaning you will need to use lots and lots of lubrication during anal sex.

Avoid using sharp or large objects during anal sex, or the anus could tear or perforate, causing you lots of trouble in the long run. Having anal sex means being safe about it, and respecting the fact that it wasn’t designed for the purpose of sex.

When Enough Is Enough

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