The Top Three Reasons Why Men Need to Become a Better Lover

To start right off, let us take a look at the top three reasons why men need to become a better lover:

1. Do away with boredom in the bedroom.

Let’s say that you and your girlfriend have been going out for quite some time now. The longer that you and a woman have been together, the more comfortable you will be with seeing each other’s bodies in your birthday suit. This comfort factor can be the bane of your intimate relationship, because that’s when boredom in the bedroom occurs.
If you don’t want that special woman in your life to leave you because your sex life is not something to rave about anymore, then you should do your part in making sure that your skills as a lover is improved.

Basically, the best way to revitalize your sex life is to relive the ‘newness’ of your relationship. You can become a better lover by determining which aspect of your sex life needs improvement.
You may need to refresh your knowledge of different sex positions because the missionary and woman-on-top variations have suddenly grown old. If there’s even a doubt in your mind that she is faking her orgasms, the best way to prevent her from not doing it again is to be adept with your oral loving skills.

Or, you might just need to change the pace of your lovemaking. It could be that you’re lacking in foreplay – or you’re not giving her enough of a rush by indulging in quickies. No matter which aspects of your sex life it is that can do with an improvement, find ways to work on them so that you can be a better lover.

2. Stop suffering from humiliating experiences from women.

If you think that humiliation in the eyes of one woman that you’ve had bad sex with is the only embarrassment that you’ll suffer from if you are a bad lover, think again. For example, if you’ve slept with a woman who’s working in the same building as yours and you had really bad sex during that one time that you’ve gathered the courage to ask her out.

Word about how bad you are in the sack could leak, until it reaches such a point that you cannot ride the elevator anymore without getting odd glances from women who might have heard about your lack of skill in bed.
This is just one of the worst case scenarios that you can experience if you don’t become proactive enough in bettering your skills as a lover.

3. Be a ‘master lover’ in your own right.

Now, this is the exact opposite of the previous entry. Once your skills in bed are improved, you can become a master lover in your own right. You can make women have orgasm two, three, four or even five times a night! You can make them return the favor because you’re so good at giving her some oral love. You can have sex anytime you want to.

It doesn’t even matter whether you have a below average, average or above average-sized penis. Knowing what turns women on and how to use her multiple erogenous zones at your disposal is the best way to become a better lover than you already are.

A Final Word about Becoming a Better Lover

The possibilities that you can learn about how to be a better lover is practically endless. Kissing, foreplay, oral sex, stimulating her clitoris and G-spot – these are just some areas of your lovemaking skills that you can improve on.

At the end of the day, it’s important to acknowledge that there is always room for improvement when it comes to your lovemaking skills – so bring out those “How to be a Better Lover” guide books, brush up on your techniques and be the best lover that you can be!

Take just a minute to check out ‘The Female Orgasm Black Book’: “How To Give Her Mind Numbing, Leg Shaking Orgasms”

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4. 5 Reasons Why Women Fake Orgasms
5. Be A Better Lover: How To Make Your Girlfriend Orgasm During Sex

It’s true. Including "prolonged foreplay," you’re about to learn three ways to add new levels of passion and excitement to your lovemaking that will bring you and your partner even closer. So here we go!

1. Prolong your foreplay

An extended period of foreplay amplifies your sexual experience because it gives you time to build up sexual anticipation. Why does this work? It’s just human nature. Think about a big event in your life. Whether it be a party, a holiday, or a major movie launch, chances are that you were so excited by the buildup and buzz that it made the experience 10 times better.

Well, the same rules apply to making love. So next time you spend some time under the sheets, make a conscious effort to explore your partner’s body. Leave a trail of kisses all over their body, run your fingers along their skin and gaze lovingly into their eyes.

The more time you spend devoted to foreplay, the greater the experience for both of you. And if you want to feel the magic even more then…

2. Try new things with a "twist"

Now don’t get me wrong here, I’m not talking about JUST trying a new lovemaking position, tip, technique or even location. While these things would definitely spice things up, you can make your experience even more fulfilling, simply by using a little added creativity.

For example: Why not learn a new technique––pack a picnic and head to a beautiful park for the day. And if you find a private spot, who knows what might end up happening?  Going on dates like these helps to bring back the magic that made you fall in love in the first place.

3. Play bedroom games

Tasteful, fun and alluring sex games are one of the best ways to intensify orgasms and the entire lovemaking experience. Not only are they extremely fun and have a lot of ‘replay value,’ but they actually accomplish BOTH the other tips at the same time too!

Because when you play a sex game you…
1. Automatically extend foreplay in a fun and interesting way
2. Try new things that the game tells you to do

And even while some games only consist of familiar tips and moves, you’ll be using them in new scenarios, which actually makes them feel new.

Maybe you’ll use a deck of cards or dice to create your own passionate play. Perhaps you’ll adapt a sport game for the bedroom. Or maybe you’ll just want to use your bodies as the props. It doesn’t matter. Simply get excited and unleash some creativity!

So if you want to create a magical experience, remember there’s no better way than playful game that combines both prolonged foreplay and trying new things.

About the Author:

Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb is the author of Lick by Lick, the complete guide to giving women oral pleasure. Unfortunately, most men leave women frustrated and disappointed after cunnilingus.

To find out how you can be one of the rare men who can satisfy her with oral sex, visit the Lick by Lick website. Read our review here.

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In reality, the strategies are the key to unlocking the power of the techniques.

You’ll understand that while the techniques by itself can be effective, the mind-numbing, noisy, wet, toe-curling orgasms lies largely in the strategy you use when applying the techniques.

Mindset

Your state of mind (and your partners’) can really make or break the chances of her having an orgasm.

The Wrong Mindset

How do you approach your lover’s orgasms?

You probably enter into sex with the mindset and goal of “giving an orgasm.”

It’s this approach that leads too many guys on a wild goose chase for the “perfect” strokes and techniques. It leaves you blindly seeking out every tip and trick out there, furiously testing them out on your lover.

I hate to break it to you, but this is the wrong mindset if you truly want to “give” an orgasm.

It sounds contradictory, I know. But it’s true, and here’s why…

When you head into the bedroom with the goal of “giving” her an orgasm, you’re setting up expectations in both of your minds. This approach will create pressure on both you and your partner that an orgasm MUST happen. Once you add pressure to have an orgasm, it is virtually guaranteed to add some negative stress and anxiety during your intimate times together.

And…as this stress grows, it will actually make it much harder for her to cum.

Have you ever seen a football or basketball player “choke up” during a game?

The fans, the crowds, the competition build up so much pressure for the athlete to perform well that their focus is diverted from the game and to their anxieties.

Ultimately, they wind up screwing up. Too much focus and drive on your part to “give” an orgasm can have the same effect on your partner.

Effects of Stress on Your Partner

If the stress and pressure get too high, she may be left unsatisfied. And because you have set this “goal” to have an orgasm in a first place, and now that the goal is un-met, both you and your partner will be left feeling disappointed.

If this approach is sustained, you may wind up anchoring these feelings of disappointment to your times of physical intimacy – carrying it over into your next sexual encounter, further increasing her “performance anxiety.”

The Right Mindset

Here’s the paradox…

If you want to give an orgasm, you have to NOT focus on the orgasm!

Instead of focusing on the goal of achieving an orgasm, start focusing your attention on the pleasure of the process.

The key is, if you focus on giving pleasure, and making sure she’s feeling good, that orgasm will come (no pun intended.)

Communication

Not every technique will work on every woman. One woman may prefer one particular stroke or rhythm more than the next woman does.

To find out what really makes your woman tick, you’ve got to open the lines of communication. You need to find out what she likes as you’re applying a technique.  That way, you can optimize your rhythm, speed, stroke etc. to match what she likes best.

Aim for open verbal communication, but if your lover isn’t as brave speaking her mind (especially when you’re face is buried between her thighs) you can opt for more non-verbal communicative methods, such as squeezing hands or body response.

Communicating well with your partner can make it much easier to bring her pleasure, and ultimately, more and better orgasms.

Escalation

One of the biggest mistake men make is moving too fast, too soon.  It works fine for us, but for a woman, she might not be ready yet.

For guys, we can come to an orgasm very quickly.  Men basically need to get aroused, stimulated, and we’re done.

Women, on the other hand, need a gradual escalation to come to a point of orgasm.

With each of the stages of sexual response (you’ll find out about this in an upcoming chapter), the intensity of the stimulation is increased.

Anticipation and Tension

Anticipation (otherwise known as “teasing” and “excitement”) is a powerful and effective tool to use.

In order to multiply the effects of your sexual techniques, you’ll have to add anticipation into the mix.

Anticipation will get her more aroused, give her a greater chance to have an orgasm and focuses her mind on the physical pleasure she’s experiencing.

And…while you’re building up anticipation, at the same time you’re cranking up sexual tension as well.

The sexual tension will have to be released (in the form of an orgasm).

The Key to Building Anticipation

The key to building up anticipation is to focus on the areas surround the main “target” before you actually hit the target.

For example, you can do this by rubbing her inner thighs, buttocks and hips before actually touching her vagina.  While you’re rubbing those body parts, she’s getting wetter and wetter by the second, anticipating you to finally move onto her vagina.  At the same time, the tension is growing within her and at some point, it’ll have to be released.

A note: when you’re building up the anticipation in her, it’s going to build up in you as well!  It’s going to be your job to maintain self control, and keep the escalation at the right pace.

Relaxation

A woman has to be completely relaxed to have an orgasm.

If she has her mind on her job, self-conscious about how her body looks, trying to have an orgasm, or whatever the case may be, she’s not going to be relaxed.  She’ll be tensed, and her body won’t allow her to release an orgasm.

Your job?

To help those troubles melt away and disappear (even if only temporarily) with your words, touch, attitude and preparations. Your lover must be totally and completely relaxed and free from tension.

The only tension she should be feeling is sexual tension!

Give Before You Receive

Before receiving any sexual pleasure from her, you have to make sure she receives sexual pleasure from you first.

Why?

It shows that:

1) You have control of your sexual desires

2) She’ll be in a more “ready” state to have an orgasm while having intercourse, and

3) After she has an orgasm, she’ll be ready and willing to reciprocate to the best of her abilities!

Seriously, if you can compare the quality of the blow job she gives you, the one performed without her experiencing an orgasm FIRST, will, ironically, SUCK compared to the blow job she gives you after she RECEIVES an orgasm.

Sex goes the same too…

Go ahead and test this out for yourself if you don’t believe me!

Take just a minute to check out ‘The Female Orgasm Black Book’: “How To Give Her Mind Numbing, Leg Shaking Orgasms”

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Often times men want it and women SOMETIMES indulge them. But there’s so much more to that.

Our friend Rose from Speak Sexy just posted a great article entitled Getting Anal Sex Right – The First Time. This is a great instructional piece on anal sex, going into all the how-to details.

But be warned… And I’ll quote Rose when she says "This article contains things that may make you feel uncomfortable. It is intended for mature, open-minded adults only." So only click if you actually want the vivid details. In addition Speak Sexy features various erotic and sometimes nude photos.

Take a moment to enjoy our recent videos on this beautifully sinful and taboo sexual fantasy…

Do You Know The Hidden Dangers of Anal Sex? (Video)

Anal Sex – How to Make Her REALLY Want It (Video)

Help! My Boyfriend Wants Me To Have Anal Sex! (Video)

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Couples that are completely open and honest with each other can experience an amazing sex life playing together. This is because they listen to each other, and they discover each other’s fantasies and desires.

They also know that having a great sex life is about more than experiencing amazing orgasms in various positions. It’s about trying and experiencing new things together – truly playing together.

The problem comes in when one partner ups the ante and wants to try something more exotic than their lover is comfortable with.

This can be the woman maybe wanting to tie her lover up, the man wanting to try anal sex with his girlfriend, or hundreds of other exotic sexual permutations.

And since anal sex is such a popular fantasy for so many men, let’s talk about how this desire impacts all the women who are dealing with those men.

Of course, pushing boundaries is often just half the fun for sexual play, so it’s important to peel back those fears and figure out where they started.

So what’s a girl to do when her boyfriend REALLY wants to try anal sex, especially when he tries SO hard to please her?

Here’s a question from a lady in Florida facing this sexual dilemma with her boyfriend…

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I have recently started dating this very great guy. I introduced him to the family, and he got their approval. Usually this does not happen, so I got the green light from my family, and friends, and even random neighbors! Everyone says "you look great together!" Plus I feel very happy around him. He calls me all the time, pays me respect and attention and even has declared that he wants to marry me if I permit it.

Okay, so the problem is this. When we have sex, he is very focused and he puts all of his energy and stamina into it… which lasts a little too long for my taste! Also he is very experimental and wants to satisfy my every request! This is great right?

Well, now he pushed up the stakes and wants to try Anal sex! I don’t want to try it because I read that it is dangerous or bad, and I don’t want to break this taboo. However I have been extremely experimental in the past, but I never tried this. Am I being too prudish or what? How should I maintain a great sex life and relationship with him, but not make him feel rejected or limited in the bedroom?

– Cynthia, Florida

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Why Your Friends and Family Have No Business In Your Sex Life

In addition to taboos in our society,…

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It’s about truly understanding the sexual as well as the emotional desires of your partner, and fulfilling those needs. This means paying attention to what they want, and doing your best to satisfy their needs.

The topic of anal sex is a real sore point for so many couples (truly, no pun intended)

Yet few are willing to talk about this issue, and fewer still are willing to answer their questions.

With all the bizarre taboos and social stigmas in our culture today, it’s no wonder that so many people have utterly dysfunctional and empty sex lives. In the true spirit of this advice column, we’ll cover this topic in an open and honest manner.

So at the end of the day, can you really entice your wife or girlfriend into trying anal sex, and what’s the best way to go about it?

Here’s a question from a man in New Mexico wondering how to conquer this sexual challenge with his girlfriend…

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

How do I talk my girlfriend into having anal sex?

– Jay, New Mexico

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Why is it that so many men want their wife or girlfriend to have anal sex at some time or another?

Some guys can’t stand the idea, but for many it’s a serious turn-on. Maybe it’s just the forbidden aspect that draws them, the thought of doing something they’re not supposed to be doing, and getting away with it in secret. Or maybe not.

Regardless, for women, this is a whole different story. While some have tried it and actually even like it, most are unwilling to even talk about it… and they certainly don’t generally want to try it. Well, therein lies the problem.

So why don’t most women want to have anal sex?

…

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A common reason for these sex problems is the lack of open and honest communication.

This is a deeply engrained societal issue… people just aren’t comfortable talking openly about sex, not even with their sex partners. And guess what – your partner isn’t going to read your mind. If you don’t let them know what you want, they won’t know.

When lovers do talk, it’s often about the physical – the logistics of love making, not about their deep fantasies and desires. So often we get questions from people who can’t seem to get a particular sex position just right.

It’s not about getting the other person to orgasm in any particular position or another, but rather about feeling desired, felling wanted, feeling your partner’s lust and craving for you – feeling the intense heat of passion. And it’s about making your partner experience that as well.

That’s something to strive for. It’s that shared desire that brings great sexual confidence.

Today’s question is from a lady dealing with the difficult issue of sexual confidence.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I find myself burdened with an unfortunate insecurity. I don’t feel confident in bed. I have had a number of good and bad relationships that have left me knowing a lot about my soul, but little about success in bed. My first sex partner used to become extremely angry and offended if I didn’t want to have sex. He would lay guilt trips down, refuse to speak to me, or yell. It wasn’t until after leaving the relationship that I realized how badly it made me feel about myself, and how unnecessary/abusive it was. I dated another boy after him who was just the opposite, we dated for 3 years and he rarely initiated sex, not wanting to make me feel pressured. We spoke freely of our feelings, and by the end he felt more comfortable being aggressive. The second relationship helped me feel comfortable with myself and men, however neither relationship really left me feeling like a sex goddess.

Now, I have finally found someone who is helping me explore my sexual side. I recently started dating a French man I met, and he really knows how to turn me on! The problem is… with every boyfriend, I have never been able to get a guy to cum from a blow job, and I’ve never really been the one on top during sex. Frenchie keeps trying to get me on top, but every time I do, it’s like I’ve broken his penis! I’m 140 lbs, not obese; and he’s no waif… His penis is medium size, so it’s not as if it’s some stub that would break if a sparrow sat on it! I’ve tried sitting straight up and moving up and down, or leaning forward and moving forward and back, but while he is encouraging, it’s never successful. I’m also afraid that sitting straight up leads me to bouncing rather than riding… and that seems to hurt! As for the blow-jobs, I can’t seem to get a rhythm; or when I do (and this is highly embarrassing) he jokingly asked if I would like to breath!

He is perfectly confident and supportive, and I’d really like to get over my insecurities. I’m sorry for such a long explanation and please, if you have any advice, it would do a lot of help.

Desperately,
Finally French (Pennsylvania)

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

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Check out this resource we recommend to really spice up your sex life:

• 500 Sex Tips and Love Making Secrets That Everyone Ought to Know

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