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How To Write Sultry Valentine’s Day Poems (And Get Her In Your Bed)

Kaylen Jackson — Mon, 06 Feb 2012 14:09:27 +0000

Valentine’s Day poems don’t have to be sweet all the time! While a poem full of romance is perfect for the 14th, sometimes that’s just not where you want to go with it. If you want to write something for your lover’s gift, but you also want to have some great sex, here’s how you can make it so hot, you’ll get laid (and she’ll still think it’s romantic!)

Write What You Mean And Mean What You Write

Don’t write something just to write it. Don’t do it because you think you should, or because you think love poems have to be a certain way. Start with your feelings. Write what you mean. If you write it, mean it. Don’t inject fake emotions into the poem because you think they should be there or because you think it sounds better if you do.

Your girl will easily be able to tell if you’re just giving her lines, so writing a super fancy love poem with words she knows you don’t fully understand (and using language that you would never use in a hundred years) isn’t going to get you very far. In fact, you’ll put a lot more effort into it than you’ll get out.

Here’s a hint: When you stay true to yourself and your feelings, it doesn’t feel like it takes much effort at all and the rewards are great.

Go “Sensual,” Not “Sexual”

This Valentine’s Day, you want to have incredible sex. You also want to try your hand at seducing your lover with poetry. If this is your goal, you don’t want to go with anything “sexual.” Talking about how hot she is, how hard she makes you or how horny you are isn’t going to do much in the way of getting her to go to bed with you. This is not what is going to get her to respond.

Instead, go “sensual.” Talk about her curves, how supple her skin looks in the moonlight and how you love kissing her soft lips. Compare parts of her to things you can find in nature – eyes the precise color of a sparkling river, lips like rose petals, etc. Use words like “wet, hard, delicious, supple, dirty, etc.” but not to describe her. She’ll get the underlying meaning. If you think of something sexual to write, just stop and think of how a woman might right that same thing. Would she say, “Your hot body makes me so hard,” or would she say, “Your sensuous curves set me on fire!” Think about it!

Don’t Be Afraid To “Get Inspired”

Guys look at porn. Women read romance and erotic novels. So if you’re going to try to seduce your lover on Valentine’s Day with poetry, why not go to the source of all women’s desire? Yes, it means you’ll have to read. Girly stuff. But it will be well worth it to understand a sexual situation from a woman’s perspective. Romance and erotic novels are nothing but situations in which a woman’s perfect scenario with someone is acted out word for word, play by play.

Google some short erotic stories – you’ll get to the good stuff a lot sooner than if you try to crack open a Harlequin. Take note of what the main woman in the story is seeing, feeling and thinking. Use this to inspire you to write your own story of sorts. Notice the slow buildup before anything erotic is introduced – this is definitely something you want your own poetry to reflect!

Play On Her Fantasies

Again, this is where either knowing your partner really well or knowing how women think about sexual situations well. Don’t think you’ll be able to write excellent Valentine’s Day poems without doing a little homework first. Think about what your lover likes in bed. Has she expressed to you what her desires or fantasies are? If so, you’re lucky! If you’re not quite sure, just write your poetry based on what you know she likes.

So to sum it all up, you want to be genuine when you write, get an idea of what to write from erotic or romance novels and choose topics that reflect your lover’s hidden desires. Be sensual and put some personality into it and you’re golden! Even if you’re not a brilliant author, your partner will know that you spent time and effort on her this Valentine’s Day. For a woman, that’s the best gift of all!

How To Be A Sensual Lover

Michael Webb — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 23:00:11 +0000

Sex tips can help you perfect your technique, but how do you become a sweet, kind and giving lover? Sex tips aren’t going to tell you THIS!

What Does It Take To Be Great At Lovemaking?

A great lover’s heightened sensuality is his ace. He understands what the senses are for and rouses them with full abandon. He offers stimulus bombardment and makes a woman feel so alive. With him, she experiences excitement, exhilaration, romance, danger, passion, even cluelessness. With the sensual one, sex becomes something else entirely.

The boring dude, his antithesis, couldn’t even stir up emotions and he barely knows how to touch – he thinks sex is a penis and vagina affair. He’s so dull and mundane, being with him is like watching paint peel.

So take your pick – do you want to be sensual or boring? One type of guy gets laid much more than the other.

Can you guess which one?

Mastering Your Senses

But to be a sensual lover, you need to forget about learning “sex tips” and instead, master your senses. Not just during lovemaking, but in daily activities also. What you are in daily living easily translates in the bedroom. You can’t live a hurried and harried existence and expect to be a sensual phenomenon in bed.

Don’t go running around and missing the stream of stimulation life offers you. A high-paced lifestyle may accomplish you a million things, but it makes you default on 10 million others. Speed makes stimulation dissipate rapidly giving the brain no chance to process it. Result? No perception.

Imagine driving your car at 100 miles per hour. Look out the windows. The view moves so fast so you can’t really see much, you’re bound to miss on some important details. You could have missed “the-one-that-got-away,” the woman of your dreams, walking her poodle on the side of the road. So she got away – again.

Now, imagine driving at 20 miles per hour. Notice that things become clearer this time. You see that girl from years ago and scheduled a night out with her. You see the coffee table and bargained successfully for it.

It’s a totally different ballgame; it’s a totally different life! All because you moved slower. No, this is not a motivation to be late for meetings or miss your deadlines. This is a call for AWARENESS – honing your senses and connecting with your surroundings.

Sometimes, this requires some slowing down.

How To Slow Down And Take Stock Of Everything

Go to your kitchen. Open the refrigerator, take out a fruit. (Notice how cold that thing is?) Wash it. Now, close your eyes. Close them shut. Hold the fruit near your snout and give it a whiff. Smell its essence.

Next, with eyes still closed, let your teeth slowly sink into that thing. Have a bite, feel every fiber snap with the force of your mandibles and let nature’s juice cascade into your tingling tongue. Savor every drop. Is it sweet? Sour? Bitter?

How was it?

When your eyes were closed, all visual concerns ceased – you were able to zero-in on smell & taste. Did you notice how these senses became more potent?

That’s the power of focus. When a sense is completely blocked, you experience an instant upgrade on the others. The remaining channels become more lucid and clear.

How To Translate This To Sex

People close eyes when kissing not only to avoid cross-eyes, but for a more intense preoccupation of the liplock. This also explains why sight-impaired people have elevated sense of hearing and touch – it compensates for the lost of sight. That’s why Stevie Wonder has one of the sharpest ears in the music industry.

Train your senses in a similar manner. Block stimulation from one, and focus on another. For example, mute the TV and notice an increased ability to read body language and facial expressions.

Or listen to the TV like a radio and notice the range and tones of people hosting a talk show. Close your eyes and get a whiff of that hot pepperoni pizza. It will make the whole eating experience a thing of beauty.

Once you start doing this on a daily basis, you will start doing this while having sex as well, without even thinking about it. You will automatically close your eyes and breathe in your partner’s scent and taste. You will automatically begin to savor every sensation and you’ll be going slow enough that she’ll be able to savor them too.

In essence, you will BE the sensual lover!

How To Write Valentine’s Day Poems For Your Guy

Romy Morgan — Thu, 02 Feb 2012 14:00:04 +0000

Valentine’s Day isn’t all about her, it’s about him too! Surprise him with romantic Valentine’s Day poems (yes, he’ll love it and here’s why!)

Valentine’s Day is a day where you can express how much you love your partner. Men all over the world celebrate it by giving gifts, cooking dinners and sending flowers to their partner’s work. But what about your guy? Despite what you may thing, guys need to be told how much you love them too.

Men love a woman that tells them how much they care about them and February 14th is the perfect time to do so. Writing Valentine’s Day poems for your man will show you how much you love them and make them feel special. If you have never written Valentine’s Day poems before, there are a few things that you should know before you get started!

Do It From The Heart

Valentine’s Day poems are not acceptable unless they are written from the heart. Sincerity is the key. When you pen something that is overly embellished, your guy will know that you’re not being sincere. Think about all of the qualities that you love about him and try to express them in your poem. Talk about your first date or other aspects of your relationship. Try to make it as sincere as possible, but do not under embellish either.

Avoid Cliches

Cliches like “we have a love more vast than the sands of time” can come off as extremely cheesy. Avoid any cliches that you have heard before. Cliches do not sound sincere and can easily be mistaken for laziness. You want your partner to feel appreciated, not like you took a shortcut on his gift. Using metaphors is a great method to writing Valentine’s Day poems, but be careful that you’re not using common cliches with your metaphors. The same rule applies to similes so watch out for these mistakes.

Mention The Little Things

Talk about the little things that you love about him. Whether this is how he brushes your hair out of your eyes, kisses you softly every night before you fall asleep or holds you tight when you’re scared, bring these qualities to your poem. Not only will this get your emotions going, he will feel appreciated. Love is not about the monetary items that your partner buys you, it’s about the little things. Telling him that you love the little things that he does for you will show your dedication to him in it’s most sincere form.

Avoid Rhyming

Valentine’s Day poems do not have to rhyme. Some of the most famous ones do not even have rhyme schemes. Don’t feel pressured to rhyme the words in your poem. Sometimes the rhyming can even take away from the poem. Having one that does not rhyme can come off as less cheesy and more romantic. If you decide to pen one that does rhyme, keep it consistent throughout the poem. Choose a rhyme scheme that you feel comfortable with and take it from there.

Choose Your Words Well

Choose your words carefully. When you’re writing Valentine’s Day poems you don’t want the poem to come off the wrong way. If you don’t know what a word means, look it up. The last thing that you want to do is offend your partner with your gift. Choose words that are romantic and masculine to make him feel like a man. If you are too corny with your poem, you could embarrass him.

Be Funny

Another route to take is to do a funny poem. These come off as fun and do not run the risk of being too cheesy or making him uncomfortable. When you’re coming up with funny Valentine’s Day poems, it’s best to have a rhyme scheme (even though we suggested not to earlier). This shows off your sense of humor while also giving him a gift he will love. If you have a good funny bone in you, consider being humorous and romantic instead of just romantic.

Writing Valentine’s Day poems for your partner can be a rewarding way to show him how much you love him. If you don’t research the words that you’re using with your poem, you might turn him off immediately. The same can happen if you don’t do it from the heart. Valentine’s Day is not all about gifts, but this is a gift that you are constructing from your heart. Because it’s coming from your heart, you should put time and effort into it. Follow these simple guidelines and your gift will be a real hit with your fella!

6 Valentine’s Day Gifts For A Guy

Romy Morgan — Wed, 01 Feb 2012 14:00:10 +0000

Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean you’re the only one who gets presents. Here are six excellent suggestions for Valentine’s Day gifts for your fella.

Choosing Valentine’s Day gifts for your partner might seem like a daunting task. Finding the right balance of love and necessity is essential to giving him a gift that he will not only love, but use. February 14th is geared more toward women, but men can easily feel left out when their significant other does not reciprocate with a present.

If you’re stressed for ideas, we have a couple of suggestions. When it comes to guys, you either want to give him something that will improve his life, or get him turned on. For women, Valentine’s Day gifts are usually about flash. This is different for men.

1. Gift Cards

Yes, they are one of the most impersonal Valentine’s Day gifts that you can give anybody. However, giving a guy a gift card allows him to choose something that he would like. Gift cards to electronics stores or sporting goods stores are the best because even if he doesn’t need something, there’s always something that he will want. If you want to make it a little more personal, buy a card and tell him how much you love him in the card.

2. Tools

What guy wouldn’t love a new set of tools as his Valentines Day gifts? Tools are a great gift for guys because it helps them feel manly. If your guy has been eyeing a new power saw or belt sander, consider what he could be doing around the house for you once he has them.

Men like to fix things and they are usually pretty good at it. Why not give him the gift of repair with a brand new power tool? Ask him what he needs and then sneakily go to the hardware store on your way home from work. You will put a smile on his face and he’ll have a great Valentine’s Day.

3. Lingerie

Men love women who dress up for them in the bedroom. If you have some ratty old lingerie that you never wear anymore, it’s probably time for an upgrade. Head out to your favorite lingerie store and buy an outfit that you know he will love.

Men love women in black, red and white lingerie so try a few different outfits on. After you have dinner, go to the bathroom and change. Walk into the living room to deliver your present to him. He will not only be surprised, he will be grateful that you’ve done something he’s been wanting for a long time.

4. Sporting Goods

Every guy has a sport that he loves. Whether he’s a tennis freak or plays in a soccer league, you can easily get on his good side this Valentine’s Day with some new sporting goods. Ask him a month or so before Valentine’s Day if he needs a new racquet, shin guards or whatever is applicable to his sport.

Do your own research on the best equipment and consult some local sporting goods stores on what your guy will need. Don’t spend out of your budget, but get him something that will last.

5. A Trip

Have the two of you always wanted to go somewhere, but just couldn’t find the time? Surprise your husband or boyfriend with a map that has the route to the place you want to go traced out. This is a great delivery instead of just saying, “We’re headed to Vegas!”

Another way to do this is to give him an envelope with the receipt for the hotel reservations in it. When he opens the envelope, you will see wonderment that eventually turns to excitement. A trip is technically a gift for the both of you, but you taking the initiative to finally get around to it will be enough to give him an awesome Valentine’s Day.

6. Coupon Books

Coupon books have become a staple of Valentine’s Day, birthdays and other holiday events. If you haven’t given your boyfriend or husband a coupon book, it is a cheap and easy way to make him happy. Create a coupon book online or with construction paper for different things you know he likes.

Erotic massages, nights out, and a day without chores are just the beginning. These books are personalized and make for a great gift that any guy will enjoy. You can even throw in a few sex coupons to keep things intimate. Coupon books also make for a good accompanying gift. If you have already bought something for him, consider tossing this in as an added bonus because you love him so much.

Valentine’s Day Ideas Your Guy Will Go Nuts For!

Romy Morgan — Mon, 30 Jan 2012 14:23:16 +0000

Valentine’s Day can be one of the most dreaded days of the year for men. This is a day that men have to be on their toes in order to get he right amount of romance out there for their girlfriends. In an effort to change it up a little, why don’t you do something that he will like?

Valentine’s Day ideas that he will love aren’t something that usually spring to mind on that special day in February so we’re going to give you a few starters to help you. Here are some great things your man will love.

Go Out On A Traditional Date

Traditional dates allow your fella to take you out and cater to you. Believe it or not, men like taking their girlfriends or wives out on the town. Let him plan all of the events. Whether you’re having dinner at a new restaurant or an old favorite, allowing him to plan the evening will make him feel like a man. Try wearing a new outfit on your date or wear something that you know he loves you in.

Have A Quiet Night

There’s nothing like a quiet night at home with the man that you love. Valentine’s Day can be a real hassle with making reservations, spending excessive money and competing with other couples for a table at a restaurant. One of the many things he will love on Valentine’s Day is to have him for you at home.

Valentines Day is about being together, no matter where you are. Remember that staying is also the shortest distance to the bedroom. Rent your favorite romantic movie and watch it together in bed. Chances are you won’t make it through the first 20 minutes.

Visit A Comedy Club

Who doesn’t like a comedy club? You get out of the house and you get have a few laughs. Valentine’s Day can be a very romantic, but why not spice things up with a different kind of night? Instead of having your partner shower you with gifts have him take you to a comedy club. You will both have fun while still keeping things romantic. Have a couple of drinks and enjoy the show together.

There is a lot of pressure to make the day great for you. Take some of the pressure off and just enjoy the evening with your partner. He will appreciate the fact that you’re not materialistic or hung up traditional Valentine’s Day stuff.

Throw A Party

A party is a great way to celebrate the holiday. Parties not only allow you to catch with your friends, it will allow him to have fun with his best buddies too. Invite some of your single friends and tell him to do the same. You can both have fun watching everybody mingle while entertaining. Decorate your house with some fun décor to set the mood.

Red and pink heart banners and a Valentine’s Day cake are essential for your party. Make sure that you have enough food and beverages for everybody. Having finger foods making it BYOB is a less expensive way to throw a party. Best of all, your lover will enjoy a different kind of February 14th.

Plan A Getaway

We all lead busy lives, but a getaway might be one of the best Valentine’s Day ideas for the both of you. This could take some planning so decide where you want to go a month or two in advance. February is a great month to get up to the mountains.

The snow is beautiful and you can cuddle up by a fire together. If you’re not much for the mountains, take a trip to a beach. The beach in the winter can be very romantic. A nice bed and breakfast can be extremely romantic. Whatever choice you make, he’ll love getting away with you even it’s just for a day or so.

Surprises

This works really well with men as a Valentine’s Day idea. Tell him that you don’t want to do anything! He’ll probably question you, but just reiterate that you have a lot going on and you would just like to stay in.

After he gets off work, tell him to get dressed and take him out to a surprise dinner at his favorite restaurant. This is a great way to show your man that you love him on Valentine’s Day. He’ll be surprised and excited that you’ve gone to the trouble of planning a date that he will enjoy.

How To Say “I Love You” For The First Time On Valentine’s Day

Romy Morgan — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 14:00:50 +0000

Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to tell your partner you love them. But if it’s the first time, it can be nerve wracking! Here’s how to break the ice.

So you’ve been dating a girl for a couple of months and everything is going great. Now it’s time those three words that make every guy quiver. “I love you.” Telling a girl that you love her can be one of the most nerve wracking moments in any relationship. Naturally, the relationship has to move forward in order to sustain itself, but this is the moment when it’s truly fight or flight.

Many guys fear this situation because they don’t know if the girl is going to say it back. This anxiety can be overcome when you truly know that a girl loves you. If you are at that point and you want to say it, Valentine’s Day could be a great occasion.

Decide If This Is What You Want

Telling a girl that you’re in love on Valentine’s Day is a huge step. When it feels right, you should go for it. If it doesn’t feel right then you might want to hold off. Never say “I love you” because you think that it will fix something in the relationship or that you “should.” This can be very powerful and the last thing that you want is to give a girl the wrong idea, especially on Valentine’s Day. If you feel like you are in love with her and you think that she’s in love with you then go for it! If not, reevaluate whether or not you want to say I love you to your girlfriend.

Setting The Environment

Saying “I love you” for the first time has to be special. This doesn’t mean that you have to do some Hollywood rom-com reenactment, but it also doesn’t mean that you should say it in sweatpants. Make reservations at a restaurant for Valentine’s Day. Make sure that the restaurant is a little nicer than you would normally go to. Nobody wants to be told “I love you” for the first time at Applebee’s.

Be Gentlemanly

Before you pick her up, clean out your car. Make sure that the car smells good, is vacuumed and dusted. The last thing that you want is her smelling old gym clothes or rummaging through coffee cups. When you pick her up, open the car door for her. Help her out of the car and open the door to the restaurant for her. When you get inside the restaurant, allow her to follow the hostess to the table and then pull her chair for her. Being a gentleman is essential to making her feel like she’s special. If you’re going to your house, make sure the cleanliness extends there as well.

Make Good Conversation

Making good conversation is the best way to keep the mood light and romantic. Asking about how her day was and how work is going for her will allow her to vent if needed. This is good because it helps you get into the frame of mind that you need to be in for the infamous three words. This helps you to hold back from it out at the wrong time also. Stick to topics that you both have an interest in. There is a time and place for conflict in every relationship; however, this is not one of those times. Keep the conversation humorous and fun to set the tone for the rest of the evening.

Pay The Bill

Are you really going to split the bill on Valentine’s Day and then tell her that you love her? That’s ridiculous. Make sure that you have enough money to pay the entire check. For guys, this kind of comes with the territory. It’s a little more classy to put the bill on a credit card or debit card than to flop a wad of mangled cash out of your pocket, so take this into consideration.

Saying It

All right, so now it’s time for the big show. You have paid the bill, you’ve had a nice evening and now it’s time say it. After you leave the restaurant, make sure that you have nice breath. Pop a small mint. This is easier than grinding your teeth together on a piece of gum. Walk her back to your car and then open the door for her. Before she gets in give her a kiss and say it. More than likely she will say it back. After you say it she will know what the evening has been about and she will appreciate all of the effort that you put into making it special for her.

Simple Valentine’s Day Romance Ideas He Will Love

Romy Morgan — Wed, 18 Jan 2012 14:00:19 +0000

Valentine’s Day is all about romance – but what do you do for a man? Here are some easy suggestions to do for your fella this Valentine’s Day!

Your boyfriend or husband is the love of your life. They leave little notes for you, they always to know what is bothering you and they pick up on things that you would have never expected. But how do you show them that you care? Being romantic with your boyfriend or husband can be pretty daunting when you have no idea how to go about it.

If you would like to show your guy how much you love him, here are a few ideas to help through the murky waters of romance for a guy. You need to realize that flowers, little notes or fancy dinners don’t turn men on. To show your guy how much you love him, you need to take practicality by the hand. Here’s a short guide to simple romance that he will love.

Tickets To His Fave Thing

Tickets to a sporting even or a concert can be extremely romantic to a guy. If your guy has been wanting to make it out to a football game but can’t get tickets, you could go online and find some cheap nosebleed seats fairly quickly. Romance to a guy means nachos, face paint and jerseys. Remember that this is his day so let him be a guy.

Let Him Teach Your Something

Does your guy love doing something that you have no idea about? Does he have a mean tennis serve? Does he know how to fix the sink? Let him teach you how to do something. This let him take control while you learn how to do something that he has an interest in. While he is teaching you he will feel knowledgeable and this can make him feel like a real guy. This is the kind of romance that will get him going.

Buy Something Small

The next time that you’re at the grocery store buy something that you know he loves. This could be his favorite ice cream, his favorite soda or a special dinner he loves. This will show that you love him. When you come back from the grocery store, surprise him with the item.

Be There For Him

Most guys can be insecure with their girlfriends and even their wives. If your guy is having a hard week at work, let him know that you’re there for him. Just telling him that you care can be enough reassurance to let him know that you’re not going to run away at the first sign of trouble.

Have A “Him Day”

Most guys will indulge their girlfriends or wives with a trip to the mall. Doesn’t guy dread going to mall while you spend hours trying on clothes? When was the last time that you went with him to an electronics store? Have a day set aside where you do everything that he wants to do. Has he been dying to go check out a new 3-D TV? Go with him. A lot of times, women tend to forgo trips to stores with their guys. Go with him. You never know, you might find something that you need.

Take An Interest In His Stuff

Does your guy wake up every Saturday to hit the lake for some fishing? Surprise him and wake up to go along. Guys love spending time with their girlfriends. To have a significant other take an interest in a sport or activity that the guy loves can make it even better.

Rub His Shoulders

Guys respond to touch the way that women respond to emotion. If you really want to romance your guy, give him a back or shoulder rub the next time he’s watching TV or working at his desk. This can alleviate stress and keep him loose. When you rub his shoulders tell him how much you appreciate him and how much he has a made a difference in your life. You can also go for an erotic massage if you want to make it sexy this Valentine’s Day!

Seduce Him

Seduction is one of the best ways to get into a guy’s heart. Put on some lingerie and turn the lights down low right before bed. When he comes into the room he will instantly be in love with you all over again. It’s pretty obvious that men respond to sex pretty well. They find physical touch as the primary form of romance. When you seduce him it make him feel attractive and masculine.

You don’t have to be a complete genius to show your guy that you love him. When you implement these suggestions into your repertoire you will find that he can open up to you more. Relationships are all about reciprocation. When you are showing him that you love him, he will show you how he loves you.

6 Simple Valentine’s Day Date Ideas

Romy Morgan — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 14:00:48 +0000

Valentine’s Day has become a staple for guys to do something romantic for their wives or girlfriends. However, busy lives combined with work schedules do not always leave a lot of time for planning. The truth is that women don’t need fancy dinners or expensive jewelry to have a great Valentine’s Day. You can easily give her a Valentine’s Day she will remember with a simple plan. Don’t know where to get started? Don’t worry. Here’s a few easy things that will help get you thinking.

Cook Yourself

Cooking yourself is not only a great way to save a little money, it can be much more personal. When you go out to a fancy restaurant, you spend money. When you cook at home, you spend time. Women don’t want to be equated to a monetary value. When you suspend your spending and put some heart into your cooking, she will definitely appreciate it much more than taking her to a new French restaurant where she can’t even read the menu. Get fresh vegetables and fresh meat from the market and let her lounge around the house while you cook dinner. When the dinner is done, clean up yourself after drawing her a bath.

Watch Older Movies

Most women aren’t going to find it romantic if you pop in your copy of Predator. Go to Wal-Mart or Best Buy a couple of days before Valentine’s Day and search through the older movies. Casblanca, Breakfast At Tiffany’s and Gone With The Wind are great for Valentine’s Day. Buy the movie and surprise her with it. Curl up on the couch with a glass of wine to give her a Valentine’s Day she will remember. If you don’t think she’ll be into it, pop in Predator and see what kind of results you get.

Live Music

Obviously you have to treat her to dinner, but a great way to spice up a Valentine’s Day is to take her to a bar that has live music. Almost every city will have a jazz bar in it. It doesn’t matter if you’re taking her to The Blue Note or a local dive where the drummer looks half asleep, she will appreciate this. Even if she isn’t into jazz, the slow rhythms and the aspect of seeing live music will be enough to get her going. Order an expensive drink for her slow dance. Even if you’re not a great slow dancer, indulge her for one night. She will appreciate the sentiment.

Wine Tastings

Valentine’s Day is one of the best days to find local events. A good local event for any wine lover is a tasting. If your girlfriend or wife has the pallete for sophistication, find a local restaurant that having a wine tasting. You might need to do this in advance because Valentine’s Day is pretty popular. For the most part these are relatively inexpensive when done with a winery that is local. You might spend $50 at most to get a reservation.

Play A Couple’s Board Game

A cool way to get closer with your girlfriend or wife is play a couple’s board game. These are designed to bring you closer and build the relationship. You can find couple’s board games at local adult oriented stores or online. Some of the more popular ones are “Battle Of The Sexes” and Sexopoly. Try these out with the lights low and some mood music on to give the evening a more intimate feel. This can be a great Valentine’s Day that she will remember.

Traditional Dinners

A traditional dinner date is not the worst idea that you can come up with. The idea is simple enough, but you need to make it original. When you are planning your dinner date, you probably need to call a week or two in advanced. Plan on having dinner at a restaurant that is quiet. The restaurant should have a dress code. Since it is Valentine’s Day you want to keep things a little classy. No, Chili’s is not a classy Valentine’s Day date. Don’t pick a chain restaurant for your dinner.

Try to find a small restaurant in the middle of the city. These always have intimate settings, but they could be hard to get into if you don’t call far enough in advance. Once you have made the reservation, ask about their wine list. If you don’t know anything about wine, research some of the bottles on the list beforehand so you can know about them when the waiter comes to take your order.

Top 5 Worst People To Get Relationship Advice From

Romy Morgan — Thu, 12 Jan 2012 23:00:22 +0000

Relationship advice can be great, unless it comes from the wrong person! Here’s who you DON’T want to get relationship advice from.

The world is riddled with people who are always trying to offer up relationships advice. Everybody from your friends, family and even your computer can tell you different ways to approach problems in your relationship.

If you are going through a rough patch and you’re looking for a good way to get things back on track, you are naturally going to overturn every stone in search of an answer. However, there are people that you should avoid when asking about relationship advice. Here are the top 5 people you should avoid when asking for relationship advice.

1. Your Boss

No matter how close you are, you should never ask your boss for any relationship advice. Over the course of time, you and your boss have probably had some long nights in the office together. You probably feel like you can trust them with details of your personal life.

But when you’re going through something with your girlfriend or wife, the last thing that you want to do is take advice from somebody that signs your pay check. Not only are they unqualified, they don’t really know your girlfriend or wife well enough to give you usable advice. Steer clear of your boss when you need relationship advice to keep your professional career on track.

2. Your Mom

Sure, she’s been through it all, but do you really want to ask your mom for relationship advice? Chances are that your mom is going to take your side on every issue and refuse to give you a balanced opinion on the subjects that you’re having issues with. Your mother should be the one that tells you everything is going to be all right, not how to patch things up after fighting with your girlfriend. Avoid your mother no matter how much she tries to pry things out of you.

3. Internet Forums

Internet forums are the worst places to get advice on relationships. No, I’m not talking about a Dear Abby article; I’m talking about places like Yahoo Answers and Wiki Answers. These places are filled with people that will not take your questions seriously. They might even offer bad advice because they think that it’s funny. They also don’t know your wife or girlfriend so they can make snap judgments without knowing all of the facts. Resist posting your questions on Internet forums or Craigslist for any kind of solid relationship advice.

4. TV/Movies

Everybody wants to believe that they have a relationship comparable to that on TV or in a movie. But one of the worst things that you can do is take relationship advice from a TV show or a movie. The reason that the advice they give works out in the end is because of a little thing called a script. The two were supposed to be together in the end for a happy ending. Life doesn’t always work out that way. Don’t take your relationship advice from a procedural or you may find yourself alone in the end.

5. Your Womanizing Friend

Every guy out there has a womanizing friend. He probably picks up girls at every bard or nightclub in the city. He has a silver tongue and he always knows what to say to get a girl’s attention. The problem with the womanizing friend is that he knows little about relationships and more about seduction.

Furthermore, he’s not going to be able to give you solid advice on your relationship because he exists in a different world than you do. He dates a lot of women and doesn’t have a stable relationship. If he were in your shoes, he would break up with her and be done with it. Don’t ever get relationship advice from a player because they will always tell you to break up.

Getting good relationship advice is essential to living a happy and healthy life. If you really do love your girlfriend or wife then you are going to want to make them happy also. If you are in a pinch, consider seeing a marital or relationship counselor. There are hundreds of relationship counselors in every city that have extensive knowledge of the most common problems that every couple goes through.

If the issues aren’t big enough to enlist the help of a counselor in your area, consult your local bookstore’s relationship section. This should offer you a wide variety of books on how to improve communication, your sex life and understanding her needs. Remember that problems in the relationship are rarely one sided, so get some perspective and try to understand the problem from both ends.

How To Turn Even The “Coldest” Woman Into A “Passion Addict” Just By Pushing A Few Buttons On Your Cell Phone!

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 18:53:16 +0000

Is your wife or girlfriend just not as affectionate or “fun” as she used to be?

Do you think you have to work really hard to bring romance (and sex) into your partnership?

Do you think it’s beyond repair?

Watch this FREE video presentation to learn how you can turn even the coldest, most despondent girl into a fun-loving, PASSIONATE SEX ADDICT! All you have to have is your cell phone to do it! As simple and weird as it may seem that your cell phone can turn your partnership around and re-ignite the love, it’s true and it WORKS! The techniques in this video have been tested by tens of thousands of men around the world, were featured on Rachael Ray and are based on simple facts of feminine psychology that you’ve probably never heard before.

Click Here to Watch The Video

Warning: Watch the entire video to find out why your other attempts at bringing romance into your relationship (such as taking her out on dates, bringing her flowers or buying her chocolates and jewelry) have FAILED and how you can do one tiny, simple little thing to make her want you more than ever before! You’ll learn how to get your partner to crave you like she never has before!

When you watch this video, you’ll learn how to make your wife or girlfriend think about you all day, want to be around you all the time, want to go on dates and have fun with you and most of all – want to have AMAZING sex with you! She will want to reward you for your efforts at romance, so she’ll constantly be doing things for you like making your favorite meals or doing things in the bedroom that you only dreamed of doing with her!

Believe it or not, all you have to do is push a few buttons on your cell phone!

Thousands of guys have used these tips all over the world and have found them to be incredibly successful. They were amazed at the transformation their wives and girlfriends went through almost overnight! It’s astounding to watch a cold, “unloving” girl turn into a laughing, joyful and romantic girl – just like when you two first met!

Text The Romance Back is such a powerful tool, you can’t afford to pass it up. If you want to put the spark back in your relationship and make it feel like you and your partner just started dating all over again, Text The Romance back can show you how to do it, step by step.

What You’ll Learn…

How to make your wife or girlfriend not care about your bad habits and shortcomings (they simply just won’t matter that much anymore)
How to make all of her anger, resentment, jealousy and negative feelings melt away (she’ll act more like she did when you first met her)
How to make her fantasize about being with you every moment of the day
How to make her want to have sex with you so bad she can barely stand it

Believe it or not, Text The Romance Back can change your life! Here are some of the things you can expect your wife or girlfriend to start doing after you use the tips in this FREE video!

She will go out of her way to do things for you or to make things easier for you
She will be more willing to cook your favorite foods, wear clothes she knows you think are sexy, etc.
She will want to submit to you and let you be more in control in the partnership
Her new favorite thing will be to seduce you and lure you into the bedroom!

Before you get started, you MUST know about the “romance lie” that is preventing you from having the kind of relationship you want with your wife or girlfriend – a happy, exciting, fun-filled and satisfying partnership that is as easy and natural as breathing. You’ve tried your hardest to get there, but you just can’t seem to do it.

So what is preventing you from getting there?

Many guys believe that because they’re “men” that they’re not any good at romance or doing romantic things. They think it’s too difficult to do and often just give up. A lot of guys think that they don’t have the time to be romantic, what with a full-time job, paying the bills, taking care of the kids, etc., etc. They feel like with the every day demands that life brings them, they just don’t have any time for romance.

Nothing could be further from the truth!

The techniques used in Text The Romance Back are SO SIMPLE and SO EASY that you could literally do them on your way to work or even on your lunch break – and have your wife or girlfriend leaping into your arms when you get home!

What You DON’T Have To Do…

Recite silly poetry
Spend a lot of money
Buy jewelry, cards, flowers or chocolate
Dress up in silly outfits to go out on the town
Humor her by watching girly movies
Do ANYTHING but use your cell phone!

So could it really be that easy?

Could it really be as simple as using your cell phone to wake up your partner’s excitement?

YES!

If you’ve noticed that the spark has faded from your relationship and you’ve become more like roommates or co-parents than lovers and best friends, then you NEED Text The Romance Back!

Think about it….

Have you noticed that the girl who once showered you with love and affection barely talks to you throughout the day?

Has it been a long time since she’s given you a deep, soulful embrace or even said “I love you?”

Does she nag you over and over about chores to be done rather than sharing her intimate thoughts with you like she used to?

You don’t have to say goodbye to the romance forever! Even if you and your partner have been together for years or even decades, you can get the romance back into your relationship quickly and easily. You’ll be walking around so elated and happy that other guys will be DYING to know what you did to turn your relationship around!

Nothing else is as powerful or as EASY to get your wife or girlfriend back into the relationship and get your relationship where it needs to be. You will both be happy, excited, blissed out and sexually satisfied, all just by using your cell phone!

Can you afford NOT to do that?

Then CLICK HERE to learn how your cellular phone is the easiest and simplest way to make your woman want to have sex with you day and night, without fail!

5 Signs She’s In Love With You

Romy Morgan — Mon, 09 Jan 2012 23:00:50 +0000

Relationship advice can be handy if you’re falling in love, because you want to know if the girl you’re with is in love with you too! How can you tell?

Every new relationship takes time to hit its stride. If you’ve been dating a new girl for a little while the two of you are probably wondering where the relationship is going. Many of us have been deceived in the past. Saying one thing and meaning another is pretty common in relationships. So how do you know if she really is in love?

The answer is not so simple, but there are key signs that you can look for. The majority of the time, determining if she is in love with you can be done pretty quickly.

1. She Does What You Want To Do

A girl that puts you ahead of herself is a sure sign that she is in love. This doesn’t mean that she’s going to jump in front of a bullet, but if she doesn’t mind doing something that you want to do instead of what she wants to do she’s probably in love. Women that are not experiencing that aren’t going to take an interest in your life, friends or family.

They will usually not budge when it comes to the movie they want to see or a dinner date preference. If she is in love, she will be as accommodating as you are. Remember that relationships are partnerships and neither of you should get your way every time.

2. She Surprises You

Being in love with somebody is all about the little things. If your girlfriend comes home with a little surprise for you every once in a while, they are probably in love. This doesn’t have to be some grandiose gift, but if she saw something at the store that made her think about you and she bought it, you can assume that she’s in love.

Surprising you with something that you’ve talked about in the past but haven’t gotten for yourself is a clear sign. Surprising you with a dinner or a night out to a ball game that you’ve wanted to see is another key indicator to keep in mind.

3. She Gets Physical With You

The physical relationship can be just as important as the emotional relationship. When a girl is experiencing those feelings, she will probably not be able to stop touching you. This doesn’t mean that she’s having sex with you every five seconds, but that she takes your hand, runs her fingers through your hair or curls up next to you on the couch.

When a girl is getting physical with you, there is trust. You should be able to tell if she’s falling for you based on the amount of physicality that she’s displaying.

4. She Knows What Makes You Tick

Have you ever had a horrible day and then come home and everything seems like it’s going to be all right? When a woman is love with you she can almost sense what’s making you grouchy and how to make it better. Believe it or not, most women know how to make a man happy. Choosing to make you happy is another story.

When a woman is falling for you, she will know exactly what it takes to bring you 180 degrees back to your fun loving self. Whether this is through flirting, encouraging words or a pat on the back, a girl that is head over heels will know exactly what makes you tick.

5. She Talks About The Future

The future is something that the both of your should be thinking about. If she loves you, she will bring up the future. The future doesn’t have to be kids, marriage or the white picket fence. This could be a trip that’s a month down the road or holiday plans a couple of months in advance.

When a woman is head over heels, she will talk about the future to try to gauge what you think about it. When you’re in love with her, you should also be taking about the future. Planning the future is a very clear sign that she has fallen for you.

Knowing when a girl is love with you can be a blessing. Having the ability to gauge whether or not she is happy in the relationship can give you an edge. There is nothing worse than telling somebody that you love them and then having them stare at you blankly. Knowing these signs should help you recognize how important you are to your girlfriend to move the relationship forward.

How To Approach Men & Take Control Of Your Dating Life

Romy Morgan — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 18:00:02 +0000

Approach men instead of waiting for them to come up to you, and you can start taking over your dating life! Forget about being single for good!

Modern tradition implies that guys should make the first move. But what should we do if we see a guy that we think is cute and he’s not coming up to us? This is probably a very familiar situation for any woman. You’re in a bar or a nightclub and you a guy that you think is really cute. He’s standing by the bar or he is surrounded by his friends and he keeps looking over at you, but he’s not coming over. Most women don’t want to go after a guy because they think it makes them seem desperate. The fact of the matter is that most guys really appreciate a woman that approaches them. This shows confidence and can be very attractive. Here is a short guide on how to approach men.

Have A Reason

One of the pit falls that a lot of women fall into to their reasoning for approaching a guy. Most guys have some kind of routine that they use when they’re approaching women and so should you. Take notice of something around him or a piece of clothing that he’s wearing. If a guy is too shy to approach you, he will surely open up once you introduce yourself. He wants a reason to talk to you, but he’s probably just not that great with approaching women. When you walk up to him, have something to say and then let him take control of the situation. When you approach men, it is not as hard when you have something to say.

Sit Down

One of the best ways to alleviate any awkwardness is to sit down next to him if he’s at the bar. This implies that you are interested, but it creates a time constraint because you might just need a drink. When you approach men, sitting down can get the ball rolling very quickly. Simply sitting down and facing forward will show that you’re not desperate. After about 2 seconds, turn to him and say, “Hey, how are you?” or something simple. This gets a conversation started pretty easily.

Be Playful

When you are approaching men, the number one thing that you need to remember is to be playful and flirtatious. Make fun of something about him that won’t hurt his feelings. His shirt, his pants and his shoes are really easy to make fun of without hurting his ego. If you take it too far he’s going to walk away. If you are playful, he will play along and probably get you laughing. Approaching men is about having confidence. Allowing him to make fun of you a little bit will show that you’re confident enough to take a little jab.

Ask Him Questions

When you approach men, it is essential that you ask questions. When you ask questions you can get a feel for who he is as a person. Asking what he does, what he likes to do in his spare time and his age are just the tip of the iceberg. Get a little deeper so you can know if he’s worth giving your phone number to. Men like direct women and since you have already approached him he will probably ask for your number. If you don’t like the guy, don’t give him a fake number. Explain that you don’t think you’re a good match.

Ask For His Number

It’s pretty traditional for a guy to ask a girl for her number. If you really like the guy, ask for his. When a girl gives a guy her number, the guy wonders if she will actually pick up the phone or if the number is actually real. If you really like the guy, get his number and tell him you’re going to call. If you tell him that you’re going to call, then call. Guys love girls who follow up with what they say they’re going to do. More than likely, he will probably think that you just don’t want to give him your number. But when you do call he will respect you even more for it. Guys don’t want girls who play games.

When you approach men, it can be a great ego booster. Waiting around in a bar or a nightclub for somebody to walk up and talk to you can be disappointing. If you’re the kind of girl who has to beat the losers off with a stick, toss tradition and start approaching guys yourself. Once you meet a guy that you like your confidence will skyrocket and you’ll be well on your way to finding somebody to be happy with on your terms.

7 Ways To Be More Romantic

Chase Christopher — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 17:00:35 +0000

Romance plays a big part in any relationship, but if it wanes, you could be in trouble. Up the romance with these seven simple suggestions.

When you first met your girlfriend, you probably did a lot for her. Surprise dates combined with little gifts and dinner at her favorite restaurant. Over time, the romance can take a nosedive and the relationship can go stale fairly quickly. I’m sure that she still loves you and you still love her, but when a night on the couch becomes the norm, it’s probably time to get a quick shot of romance. Romance can be another language to a guy, but there are a few things that you can do to get the juices flowing in the relationship again. Here are a few tips to get you started.

1. Plan Surprise Dates

Surprise dates are very romantic. Surprise dates usually come at the beginning of relationships for a reason. They are fun and they can be very exciting. Call your wife or girlfriend while they are at work and tell them that you want to take them out for dinner. When they ask where, just say that it’s a surprise. This will instantly get them into a romantic mood. Now make a reservation at a restaurant that you have wanted to try or the first place you had dinner together. If your first date was at a Chili’s you might want to change the venue.

2. Make Her Breakfast

A great to breath a little romance into the relationship is to make her breakfast before she goes to work. Get up early and cook her favorite breakfast. When she wakes up she will smell it cooking in the kitchen. This surprise will make her feel special and appreciated. She will surely wake up with a smile and leave for work happy that she’s with you. Not only will she feel appreciated by the gesture, she will appreciate you for taking the time to do something for her.

3. Send Flowers To Her Work

This is generally done on her birthday or on your anniversary, but doing it on a Tuesday for no reason is also a great way to be more romantic. Women love flowers, but they love having the entire office know that somebody loves them. When a coworker walks by and asks what the occasion is, she can tell them that there wasn’t one. This will make her feel special and she’ll think about you all day while at work.

4. Take A Day Trip

Taking a day trip is a great way to have some alone time together. If you live a couple of hours away from a beach or the mountains, you can easily wake up and take a day trip together. Being away from your every day life and hitting the road will bring you closer and allow you to spend quality time together instead of watching TV. Decide on a couple of places to stop during your day trip and take in the local scenery.

5. Get A Hotel Room

A great way to be romantic is to get a hotel room together in the heart of the nearest city. Sometimes a change of venue can bring a little romance back into the relationship. Get dressed up and have drinks around the city. Go to the nearest bars or clubs and spend the night somewhere other than your own home. This will bring you closer and break up the monotony of spending the night in your bed.

6. Call In Sick Together

She might need a little convincing, but get her to call in sick with you. Calling in sick can be spontaneous and extremely romantic. Spend the entire day in bed together or make a day out of working on a project you have been putting off. Calling in sick on a Friday takes this a step further by giving you a long weekend.

7. Spend One Night A Week Without TV

TV can be a relationship killer. Sitting in front of the TV night after night can make the relationship stale. When your TV shows start to be the only thing you have in common, you should take the TV out of your life for at least one night. Turn off the TV and talk to each other. Talk about future plans or play a couple’s game to bring the romance back into your relationship.

Relationships take work. You can’t keep doing the same things over and over and expect the relationship to sustain itself. By being more romantic you can show her that you really do love her. Being more romantic will bring the spark back into the relationship and keep some of the spontaneity in your connection.

Tips For Recovering From A Long Term Break Up

Romy Morgan — Mon, 02 Jan 2012 23:00:53 +0000

Breaking up after a long-term relationship can be devastating. If you have been with somebody for two years or more, it’s easy to associate her with your self-image. When you break up it’s hard to imagine going forth and finding somebody else. You might feel lost and shattered by the break up, but there are things that you can do to get back some semblance of your life again. Over time, the hurt will dwindle and it’s important to realize that you will find somebody else who can make you happy again. Here are a few suggestions to get your mind off of the break up and put you back on track.

Clean Your House

Cleaning your house can be one of the best ways to get over a break up. Take everything that the person gave you and put it in a closet. Don’t throw it away because you might need it some day. Pictures and other gifts that your ex-girlfriend gave you can bring back memories and make you feel even worse. Put them out of sight so that you aren’t thinking about the break up every time that you walk into your living room. You might feel like you’re betraying her for some reason by removing pictures or placing other things she gave you in a closet, but this will pass.

Update Your Facebook

Remove here from your Facebook account and set the “In A Relationship” setting to “Single.” You can’t do this fast enough after a break up has occurred. One of the reasons that you must do this immediately is because you could still get updates from her account every time that you log in. This can be a quick stab to the eye with a quick click of the mouse. Removing her Facebook doesn’t have to be malicious, but it’s better to do it to her first than have her do it to you.

Get Out

Sitting around the house and wallowing in your sorrows is only going to make you feel worse. Get out of the house and hang around with friends. Going through a break up alone will extend the healing process. Get out of the house and go to a friend’s house or spend time with your family. Friends and family will be considerate of what you’re going through. They can give you a shoulder to cry on and perspective on why the break up happened.

Consider Idealization

One of the biggest problems with a break up is that over time we can idealize the relationship. We idealize the good parts and tend to forget why the relationship failed in the first place. Instead of thinking about trips that you took together or holidays, think about all of the problems that you had. This will help you realize that she wasn’t right for you. Look forward to a future where you won’t have all of the problems that you did with her and you will gain a little perspective on why you broke up.

Take Up A Hobby

A great way to get over a break up is to put all of the energy that you had in your previous relationship into a hobby. Taking up a sport or focusing on your work is a good way to have goals. When you implement goals into your life, you will be able to spend more time on obtaining them. Team sports can work really well because they get you out of the house and around other people.

Set A Timeline

Set up a timeline for when you want to go on another date. We all need a cooling period after a break up, but you also need to get back into the saddle when you feel comfortable. Setting up a timeline will allow you to grieve for the previous relationship, but also puts you on track to start seeing other people. If your relationship was over two years, you could need up to 5 months to really be over it. If you reach the end of your timeline and you’re still not ready to start seeing somebody, give yourself more time. This is not a setback; it’s simply an extension.

Don’t Do A Comparison

Don’t compare new girls in your life to your ex-girlfriend. You broke up with your ex so she wasn’t good enough for you. There were problems with that relationship and it’s over now. Just because your ex hurt you doesn’t mean that another girl will. Have a fresh perspective on new girls and give them the trust and respect that they deserve. Don’t let your guard down completely, but you don’t want to have somebody paying for the mistakes that an ex made.

How To Break Up Without Hurting Him

Romy Morgan — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 18:00:44 +0000

A break up is tough, but sometimes it’s inevitable. Here’s how to break up with your man as nicely as possible – and avoid doing major damage.

We have all been there. You go out with a guy a couple of times and things are great for the first two dates. After the third date things are kind of bland and by the fourth date you know that this is not somebody that you want to be with. One of the most heartbreaking aspects of this scenario is the fact that he’s still into you. Knowing how to break up with him without hurting his feelings can be a weight off of your shoulders. When done properly, you might even still be able to maintain a friendship. Here are a few ways that you break up with him without hurting his feelings.

Nip It In The Bud

A lot of women feel like the man that they’re dating could come around so they try to stick it out. This is not something that should be recommended. Even if he is really nice, you need to break up as soon as you know that he’s not right for you. Doing it in the beginning will save him a lot of heartache in the end. Dragging the relationship out because you feel like you might grow to love him is selfish. Not breaking up with him is selfish also. By breaking up with you are doing him a favor.

Avoid Clichés

“It’s not you…it’s me” and “You’ll find somebody” are patronizing and he could get very offended. When a guy gets offended he get defensive. The last thing that you want is a defensive man that starts verbally attacking everything about you. Just explain to him that you think he’s a great man, but that he’s not right for you. This is an easy way to say that you’re not interested and there’s not much he can do about it. Since you haven’t been seeing him for very long, he shouldn’t make a big deal out of it.

Be Specific

Using vague statements like “I’m looking for something different” is not enough. When you tell him that he’s not right for you, explain why. Whether it be that you want a partner that wants kids and marriage or that you need someone that is a little more romantic, specifics are best for a break up. This gives him a clear reason of why you don’t want to continue the relationship. You don’t have to attack him or his personality, but make sure that he understands why you are breaking up.

Don’t Be Overly Apologetic

Only say “I’m sorry” once. You’re not taking his house away from him; you’re breaking up with him. Since you’ve only been out with the fella a few times his world isn’t going to pieces. Don’t act like you are the end all and that he’s never going to find another person. Just say, “I’m sorry that we didn’t work out” and leave it at that. When you start apologizing profusely he’s going to think that you’re obsessed with yourself. Statements like “It’s not like you’re Heidi Klum” might come up if you show an inflated ego.

Don’t Stick Around

One of the worst things that you can do is ask him out to dinner when you’re breaking up with him. Don’t put yourself into the situation of having an obligation after you deliver the news. Ask him out for a drink or go over to his house. If you ask him over to your home, you might have to ask him to leave. Always have an escape route. If you stick around he might just try to change your mind. Make it clear that you have no interest in seeing him again and then leave the situation.

Trying To Be Friends

If you have left the situation amicably then you’re in the minority. Most men do not want to be friends with girls they have dated in the past. However, if he wants to still be friends with you, give it a little distance. Remaining friends with a man after you have dated is an honorable thing to do, but if you agree to this you should definitely keep out of touch for a little while. When you break up with a guy, the game begins. A girl that breaks up with a guy is a challenge and men love challenges. Keep the phone calls, text messages and emails to a minimum. Checking up on him can make you seem like his mother and that’s not needed either. Let him live his life after the break up. Don’t let guilt get the best of you. Furthermore, you should be out living your own life instead of worrying about how he’s doing.

10 Signs He’s Using You

Romy Morgan — Thu, 22 Dec 2011 18:00:42 +0000

Relationship advice is something you need to pay attention to if you suspect that your man is taking advantage of you. Is it true? Find out now!

Being used can be devastating to the ego and your self-esteem. If you’re in a relationship –whether budding or established and you thin that he might be taking advantage of you, you’re probably right. There are a lot of reasons that men use women. Sex is the one that most women think of, but there are others. Men cherish their self-image and having a great looking girl by their side is one of the biggest statements he can make while in public. A beautiful woman is a sign of success and power. This is a coveted feature of any man’s life, but he may only have superficial interest in you.

1. You Can Tell That He Doesn’t Really Care

Does he ask how your day was when you walk through the door? If he does, can you tell that he’s actually interested in what you did for the last 12 hours of your life? If you sense disinterest in your work, your family or your passions, he’s probably taking advantage of you. A guy that takes a genuine interest in all of these aspects is going to respect you and really care about what is going on.

2. He’s Uncompromising

When it comes to making a choice about dinner plans or going to see a movie, does he take an interest in what you want to do? If not, he’s definitely taking advantage of you or he’s a sociopath. Neither of these is good and you should probably move on. You want a man that is going to compromise with what you want and what he wants to do.

3. He’s Cold Out Of The Bedroom

If things are frigid unless you’re under the sheets, you can bet your bottom dollar that he’s wants you for sex. A man that is genuinely affectionate outside of the bedroom and in public can’t help but to show how much he cares about you. Ditch one that is only interested in a connection in the bedroom.

4. He Doesn’t Make You Feel Special

A guy that really cares about you is going to show that you’re the only girl on his mind. If you’re dating a fella that buys you generic gifts on your birthday or blows you off to spend time with his friends, he probably wants you as a backup plan. Get rid of him and get with one that will make you feel like the only girl he’s thinking about.

5. He’s Not Concerned With The Future

No man should ever talk about marriage within the first couple of months, but if your guy isn’t talking about taking trips or possible future plans, he’s probably taking advantage of you. Men that are genuinely interested in a long-term relationship will want to make the appropriate comments signaling this interest. If your man is not talking about the future, you need to ask him if he wants a long-term commitment.

6. He Doesn’t Text Or Call You Back

If you send a text to your guy, what is his typical response time? Does he apologize if he doesn’t respond in a timely manner? If he takes a day or two to get back to you, he’s probably taking advantage of you. Men that are interested won’t leave you hanging.

7. You’ve Only Been On One Date

This is a huge red flag. If the only date that you’ve gone on was the first date, you can be fairly sure that he’s just taking advantage of you. Even if you’re not sleeping with him, he probably just wants you as somebody to hang out with when he has nothing else to do. Traditionally, men want to wine and dine women so be on the lookout for a man that has no interest in taking you on a proper date.

8. He’s Disrespectful

A man should always treat a lady as a lady. If he is disrespectful to you, he just wants you until you hit the breaking point. No man should ever treat a woman as anything other than an equal. Remember this the next time he makes a disrespectful remark.

9. He Hasn’t Introduced You To His Family

If you have only been dating for a couple of weeks, you can let this one slide. But if you have been together for a couple of months and you still haven’t met his parents, there is something else going on. A man wants to have the approval of his parents. Dump him if he refuses to introduce you to his parents.

10. He Doesn’t Want To Meet Your Family

If he avoids meeting your family, this is another red flag. Meeting your family is a big deal. Looking your father in the eye while he inquires about his intentions with you is a staple of every relationship. If your guy refused to meet your family, it’s time to move on.

Super Cheap Ways To Romance Your Man!

Romy Morgan — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 17:00:33 +0000

Romance is something that tends to leave the relationship after the first 6 months. If you are weary of losing that spark, but you don’t want to spend a ton of money in the process, there are a lot of super cheap ways to keep the romance alive. It doesn’t have to be expensive. We see men in movies taking their dates to the most fancy of restaurants in a big city or boarding a plan to Paris in the middle of the night. For the most part, we won’t be able to do this for our guy. For men, cheap romance is actually welcomed. Here are several ways that you can easily implement some super cheap romance into the relationship.

Give Him A Massage

After a long day at work your guy probably just want to hang out and watch some TV with you. If you want to get the romance started, give him a massage. A massage is physical and we all know how men respond to physicality. Buy some cheap massage oil from a drug store or a department store like Kmart. This will only cost you a few bucks and it can go a long way in showing your guy how much you care about him.

Lay In Bed All Day

Despite their manly exterior, a guy loves staying in bed all day with his significant other. Get a couple of movies and lay around together on a Sunday. Sundays work best because it will help you recharge your batteries for the upcoming week. When the movie is finished, lay in bed and just have a conversation about the future. Talking about your goals and what you want as a future together can be a very romantic.

Take A Bath Together

Turn out all of the lights and fire up some candles. Draw a nice hot bath and let the water brush over both of your bodies. Turn on some music and rub his shoulders as you sit together. The light of the candles and the music will give you a most romantic ambiance.

Do Something You’ve Never Done Together

Have you always wanted to go to that weird art gallery down the street from your house? Have you always wanted hike a trail together? Being together as you try new things can give you memories that will last. Decide on something that the two of you have always talked about doing and actually do it.

Cook Something Together

Cooking can be very sensual and romantic. When you cook together, you use teamwork. If neither of you can cook, you can share a laugh at the final product. When the meal has been made, you can sit together eating the fruits of your labor. After you finish eating, both of you should clean up. Remember, we’re talking about teamwork so both of you should have a part in it.

Take A Short Road Trip Together

Being out on the road can be very romantic. Choose a place that is close to your house so you aren’t spending very much money on gas or a hotel room. A day trip can bring you close together and the drive will give you time to talk. A very cheap road trip could be to a field outside your city to look at the stars. Bring a blanket and lay it down in the field. Turn on your car radio for some music and lay together under the night’s sky.

Leave Secret Notes For Him

Before you leave for the day, leave a little note for your guy telling him how much you love him. When he finds this, he will feel good for the rest of the day. To take it a step further, leave a note for him in a place that he will find it later on in the day. The inside pocket of a suit jacket works very well.

Romance doesn’t have to die out after the first 6 months of your relationship. You can easily keep it going by being proactive. Relationships are work and there is no doubting this. However, you don’t have to spend a ton of money to show your guy how much you care about him. You can do it on the cheap and get the same, if not better results in the process. Super cheap romance is a way to show your guy that you value him personally and not monetarily. Implement these suggestions into your relationship and you should get the romance flowing once again.

Best Love & Romance Secrets Of 2011

Kaylen Jackson — Thu, 15 Dec 2011 15:06:52 +0000

Love and romance should never be compromised in a partnership! Over time, it is easy to let the romance wane. You get bogged down with the daily stuff, and forget to say, “I love you” or plan that romantic, candelit dinner for just the two of you.

Making a relationship “work” is tough enough, actually making it a happy and blissful relationship to be in is a whole different story! It takes effort on both partners to make the other feel loved, wanted, appreciated and enjoyed. There will, no doubt, be conflicts along the way, but if you consciously try to make an effort to be more romantic and more loving, your partnership will benefit a great deal. Remember, a lot of the time, it’s the little things that count the most!

If your relationship could use a dose of romance, check out our best tips of the year & keep the fire alive in your relationship!

Don’t forget to take a look at some of our all time favorite romance articles. Whether you’re trying to find a creative and romantic way to tell your partner that you care about them, or you want to steer clear of behavior that will wreak havoc on your long term relationship, these tips will really come in handy if you want a blissful union.

How To Turn Even The Biggest Romantic Numbskull Into “Prince Charming” Just By Pushing A Few Buttons On Your Cell Phone!

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 10 Dec 2011 14:00:50 +0000

Is romance simply not a part of your life anymore?

Do you find yourself CRAVING more romance in your relationship?

Think your man is simply “not” romantic?

The free video presentation on this page will show you a simple but staggeringly effective method for using tiny little text messages to wake up the “secret romantic” in any man, even if you have kids, work too much, “don’t have time” or if he seems like a “romantic numbskull” now. The techniques in this video have been tested by tens of thousands of women around the world, were featured on Rachael Ray and are based on simple facts of masculine psychology that you’ve probably never heard before.

Click Here to Watch The Video

Warning: Make sure to watch the entire presentation to find out why other attempts to “bring back the romance” in your relationship have failed, why your he secretly craves romance and closeness more than you think (or than he’ll admit) and how to have him craving you, thinking about you and counting down the moments until he gets to see you just by pushing a few buttons on his cell phone.

Is He A Lost Cause?

No Way! Lots of women out there are stuck with guys who have let every bit of romance seep out of them throughout the course of their relationship. Also, let’s not forget about the girls who are stuck with guys who never had an ounce of romance in them to begin with!

Even if your man is the most romantically challenged guy in the world and couldn’t compliment his way out of a paper bag, you can TEACH HIM HOW to say the sweetest things using 1 simple tool that you already have.

So what is this incredible secret to getting your guy to be more romantic than you’ve ever seen him?

Your phone!

Believe it or not, you can use something as easy and simple as your cellular phone to put the romance BACK into your relationship – even if your man never really was romantic at all to begin with!

Text The Romance Back is the ONLY resource out there that teaches women how to use their phones to turn their relationships into something from the movies – or a fairy tale!

What You’ll Learn:

The REAL secret reason he never takes you out or surprises you anymore (it’s NOT what you think – OR what he told you!)
How to use simple text messages to turn your guy into a secret Prince Charming!
How to get him thinking about you ALL day
How to make him CRAVE YOU – he won’t be able to help but sweep you off your feet!

The best part? There’s no “sexting” required! We’re not talking about texting your guy about how much you want to give him head in a last ditch effort to get him to pay attention to you. This is completely different!

After you watch this FREE VIDEO (from the Rachael Ray Show), you’ll know how to make your guy transform into the sweetest man you’ve ever met, almost overnight!

“It worked on me and he’s not even mine!” — Rachael Ray

Your girlfriends will BEG you to share your secret with them – they’ll wonder how you turned your guy from a dud to a complete Casanova!

By actually following the tips in Text The Romance Back, you’ll be able to:

Make him think about you NON-STOP!
Make him miss you and crave you when you’re not around
Make him count down the moments until he gets to hold you in his arms again

Your “new” man will:

Make sure you constantly feel loved and connected to him
Get addicted to romance in a way you never thought possible!
Seduce you every chance he gets

Once you watch this FREE VIDEO, you’ll learn the #1 BIGGEST reason you feel more like your boyfriend or husband is your roommate instead of your lover.

You’ll learn that the myths that you don’t have time for romance or that guys just don’t like romance are just that – BIG, FAT LIES!

The truth is, almost ALL men have a sweet side!

And any woman can wake up her guy’s passionate side with just a few clicks on her phone!

So are YOU ready for him to start treating you like the prize you are?

Do you want him to sweep you off your feet, romance you and cherish you in his actions every single day?

Are you ready for the relationship THAT YOU DESERVE?

Then CLICK HERE to learn how your cellular phone is the easiest and simplest way to make your man want to romance you day and night, without fail!

Get Yourself Out Of The Friend Zone – STAT!

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 07 Nov 2011 14:00:00 +0000

Dating tips can help you meet girls, but what if you’ve landed yourself in the “just friends” category? Can you dig your way out? Here’s how to do it, ASAP!

Be The Kind Of Guy Who Never Gets In The Friend Zone In The First Place

The best “dating tips” you could ever get about staying out of the friend zone is to never be the kind of guy who gets put in it in the first place. These guys are wimpy and weak, where guys who don’t get put on the “friends only” list are strong and confident – the alpha male type. The trick is to not be afraid to make women feel beautiful and sexy, and to not be afraid of showing a girl that you like her – like really like her. Don’t pretend that you don’t have a sexual or romantic connection to a girl – instead, just tell her! Be honest and confident about your feelings. Don’t apologize for who you are, and don’t act like her best girlfriend.

Show Interest In Her

If you like a girl, the best way not to get on her “friends only” list is to show that you’re interested in her from the get go. Don’t be too scared to admit that you have a sexual attraction to this girl – and be okay with that. If you think that it’s wrong somehow, or you’re not supposed to like her “that way,” you’re paving your own road to the friend zone! It’s normal and perfectly okay to be sexually attracted to a woman and for her to know that! In fact, it’s perfectly normal and okay that she be sexually attracted to you too – but she won’t be if you’re hiding the fact that you even want to be more than friends.

Make A Move

Don’t just wait and sit on the sidelines like a “best friend” when you could be out there with the girl you want to be with. Take that first step and make that move! Whether it’s to let her know that you exist (that’s a great first step), to start flirting with her or even a bolder move like leaning in for the first kiss, you need to go ahead and do it. Stop thinking about doing it, planning to do it or making excuses as to why now isn’t the right time. Just put yourself out there, take the risk and make a first move!

The Importance Of Building Sexual Tension

When a girl starts to think of you as more than just a buddy is when she begins to feel that undeniable sexual tension between the two of you. To get girls, you have to become a master at creating, shaping and using sexual tension. While some guys don’t find this difficult at all, other more “left brained” guys (you know, scientists, engineers, accountants, etc.) have a more difficult time accessing their more creative side to build sexual tension.

You can get more in touch with the right side of your brain, take up poetry or an art class – anything that engages your right brain. Do something creative that allows you to think differently than you normally do.

How To Build Sexual Tension And Get Her To Think Of You As More Than Just A “Buddy”

Start slowly – you don’t want to rush in too quickly and blindside her. Compliment her, tell her that she looks beautiful or stunning – don’t say “hot,” or “sexy” because this will turn her OFF immediately.
Get in her space. Touch her and when you do, let the touch linger just a little too long. Don’t be creepy about it, but you don’t want to end it until just after it becomes slightly awkward. Flirt with her.
Move at her pace, but take it just a little farther. This allows you to push her limits a little bit, but not way past where her limits usually are. You’re just going slightly outside of her comfort zone.

Show A Side Of Yourself That She Hasn’t Seen Before

If you’re already in the friend zone, these dating tips can be particularly useful if you want to get yourself out of it.

Show the girl you like a side of yourself that she’s never seen before. You’re an interesting guy, with passions and hobbies too, right? Don’t always be talking about her and what she likes or wants to do. Show her your motivation, drive and passion. Let her know that you’re a guy she could be with and have fun with!

Also, you want to make her laugh and feel happy. This is a huge deal, because women remember the way you make them feel more than they remember your name, what you do for a living or even what you look like (although she’ll probably remember all three if you make her feel absolutely amazing).

Can You Find Love Online?

Michelle Hemingway — Sat, 29 Oct 2011 17:00:03 +0000

Online dating can be fun, but is it really possible to fall in love with someone over the Internet?

Is Online Dating Desperate?

Online dating is a great way to meet people and form romantic relationships, but there are many people who doubt that someone can find love online. Also, there is a common belief that people who register for these sites are desperate, lonely or socially awkward. However, all of these thoughts are common misconceptions about online dating. Do not let these opinions fool you, because it is entirely possible to find love online.

All dating web sites work in essentially the same way: users create profiles that describe their personalities, physical appearances, favorite activities and what they are looking for in a date. Users also upload images of themselves to show other users exactly what they look like, which can also prove that their physical appearance description is accurate. With this information, other singles in their area find the profile and contact them for a date, if they are interested.

How You Can Find The Right Match

Dating web sites also use a variety of methods to match their users up with other singles who have profiles by gauging their compatibility. Typically, a dating web site will have a series of questions and surveys that users will answer to help create a score that can be used for judging how compatible they are with each other. The benefit of using these to find love instead of traditional dating methods is that you already know whether or not you have much in common with someone.

Another reason that online dating can help you find love is because you are not limited by physical constrictions when meeting people on the Internet. Traditionally, people would have to have met in person or be hooked up through mutual friends. You may only discover that your date shares or does not share interests with you after the first couple dates. However, with online dating, you can find a person who shares the same interests as you without discovering that they are different than you expect.

In fact, online dating allows someone to communicate with a match before they meet in person. Through chats and messages, a potential couple can skip the awkward situations of figuring out how similar they are before meeting in person. However, it is worth noting that some online dating sites will not allow users to communicate with each other with a free profile. In this case, you will have to pay for the site’s services. But you can always cancel your membership after you have found love, which will help save money.

Also, if you do not mind traveling long distances to find love, online dating sites go even further than traditional dating for finding matches. For example, let’s say a user in West Virginia finds someone who meets all of their expectations for a significant other on the site, but they live in California. Without online dating, this relationship would have never been formed, due to the fact that both people would not have crossed paths through the means of traditional dating and will be more likely to have a healthy relationship, based on the fact that they are compatible lovers.

Are Predators An Issue?

Another worry many people have about online dating is that the sites allow online predators to prey on potential victims. Fortunately, there are many ways to make sure that you will find love on these sites and not find yourself in a dangerous situation. Most online dating sites take extreme measure to prevent predators from using their web site, as it is obviously bad for their business. By contacting someone online and over the telephone before meeting in person, you can make sure that you are talking to someone who is genuinely interested in finding love.

If you are still worried, there is a very easy way to prevent any trouble from meeting someone for a date from an online dating site. First and foremost, do not meet someone in person until you are certain that you have made a match and think that you have found love. When you finally decide to meet someone for an in-person or “offline” date, make sure to pick a public place and do not meet them at their home or invite them into your home. Popular examples include restaurants, coffee shops and museums. Avoiding private places like your homes for a few dates will also help make sure that whoever you are talking to is actually who they say they are and not an online predator.

But do not let the unfortunate scenario of meeting a predator make you avoid trying online dating. There are many more stories about people finding love through these sites than the unfortunate stories described above. In fact, as the Internet becomes more and more of a cultural mainstay, you will find that more couples are meeting through technological means.

Relationship Advice: How Do I Know If I’ve Met “The One?”

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Thu, 27 Oct 2011 17:00:34 +0000

Relationship advice can tell you how to have a healthy partnership, but it won’t tell you if you’ve crossed paths with your soul made. So how do you know?

What She Said:

Ah, there’s nothing better than finding love – especially when it’s “the one.” Contrast and compare this list with your lover to find out if you’re on the way to “forever.”

You Agree On “The Big Four.” It’s important to be on the same page as you navigate your life together. Some of the biggest situations that can shake even the most solid couples include: whether or not to have kids, religion, finances and in-laws. Kids: do you both agree on whether or not to have them? Do you share similar views on spirituality? Do you share the same values about spending and saving money? What are your boundaries about each other’s families? It’s a surer sign for longevity if you’re in agreement on these big issues.
Attraction. Of course you’ve been attracted to other lovers, but there’s something extra special about this person. It’s indefinable, but you know it when you feel it. It’s that palpable, joyful sense that your bodies fit together like no one else before.
You’re Best Friends. As much as you’re having fun between the sheets, you also need to enjoy each other outside of the bedroom. When you’ve met “the one” you’ll share compatibility both in and out of the sack. You need the bond of deep friendship to carry you through the ups and downs – and you want someone who truly has your back.
You Love Each Other Unconditionally. The first heady months of romance are amazing – but you know you’re with “the one” when you embrace each other’s faults and stick around anyway. “The one” will love you when you’re sick or crabby – as much as he or she will when you’re presenting your best self.
There’s No Drama. We’ve all had those tumultuous relationships. They’re gut wrenching and often passionate – but they’re not built for the long haul. A relationship with “the one” will flow easily because you both know it’s right. Not to say there won’t be challenges – but the challenges won’t include tears of despair.

What He Said:

It’s More Than Just Sex. And more than making love, though you’re doing that too. The point is you like each other in and out of the sheets. The one is as much fun with their clothes on as off.
The Sex Is Really Good, Though. The sex should be electric. Sex includes flirting, foreplay, everything. You both should be really good in terms of sexual compatibility. If you’re kinky as hell and she’s straight vanilla, it’s not going to work. Sorry. She won’t be talked into S&M and/or swinging. Not so much. Or if she’s kinky and he’s not, still not doable. But if you’re both into S&M and swinging, that right there is a damn good time and a damn good level of compatibility.
You’ve Seen The “Real” Them, And You Don’t Want To Kill Them. If anything, not only should you really like who they are, all their nervous quirks and ticks should seem cute or hot or adorable to you. Granted, they will begin to drive you up the wall at some point, but that’s for later. Hopefully, much, much later.
You’re A Lot Alike. Opposites attract, but they rarely stay together in long term relationships. Sure, it’s natural for you to be good at things that your partner is bad at and vice versa, but if you’re a hardcore vegan and he’s Ted Nugent, how’s that going to work? Ted Nugent needed himself a gun toting, right wing, kill it and grill it type of woman and he found her. And they’re happier than pigs in mud.

Monogamy: Can I Really Only Have Sex With 1 Person FOREVER?

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Sat, 22 Oct 2011 17:00:10 +0000

Monogamy is great for some people, but not for others. How can you tell if you’re about to make a big mistake by swearing to monogamy for the rest of your life?

I’m due to get married in a couple months, but I’m starting to have doubts. I don’t feel I’m as excited as I should be about the big day. This is the last person I’m going to sleep with FOREVER! What’s the difference between cold feet and making a huge mistake?

What She Said:

What kind of doubts? Little ones like, “Will I be able to live with a man who leaves his dirty clothes in a pile by the bed?” or big ones like, “Do I love this person and will I be happy for the rest of my life with him or her?” As you can see, it’s a wide chasm between what constitutes a doubt!

Cold Feet Are Normal

Cold feet are a time honored pre-wedding condition. It’s a big commitment – and an even bigger life change – that you’re lining up for yourself. Who wouldn’t feel a little scared? Even the most wildly in love couples are capable of feeling a tad apprehensive as they approach the altar.

No one wants to think about divorce on his or her wedding day – in fact, if you’re already contemplating an exit strategy, I think you have your answer. But the thought can provide a little levity. While there’s no discounting the magnitude of this decision, it is something that can be undone if you do ultimately decide you’ve made a “huge” mistake.

Be Honest With Yourself

That said it’s time to take a deep breath and be honest with you. Weddings are notoriously stressful events to plan. Is your lack of excitement due to feeling overwhelmed with everything from whom to choose as your bridesmaid to suddenly trying to meet the every demand of your family? Or is it something much deeper? Only you can discern what’s bothering you.

Are You In Love?

A huge mistake would be to marry someone you’re not in love with. It would also be devastating to tie the knot with someone who treats you badly before you’re even hitched. A ceremony won’t make any problems you’re having as a couple go away – in fact, it will only heighten them. If you’re truly in love and in a good relationship, a case of cold feet is merely jitters that will most likely smooth out by the time you cut the cake.

What He Said:

Thinking you can do anything for the rest of your life is impossible. If you focus on doing it today, then that’s very doable. It’s attainable. Focus not on the fact that you’re only going to be screwing one person for the rest of your life but rather on having the best sex you can with that person today and go from there.

Taking It Day By Day

It’s the same process for the rest of your relationship with that person. You’re probably freaking out over the fact that you don’t know if you can be in a relationship with them for the rest of your life. Just focus on having the best relationship you can with them today. Then go to bed. Then repeat. Then repeat. And repeat. And when in doubt, repeat. See a pattern?

You probably aren’t in line for an arranged marriage. You probably won’t say “I do” against your will. And you’re probably not marrying someone two dates in. That means you’ve been doing this relationship thing for a while with them and you obviously see something in them or you wouldn’t have been doing this for this long. So there must be something good to it. So relax, take a few deep breaths and throw the bridal bouquet at a really old lady and watch all the young women trample her. It’ll be loads of fun. Promise.

Build Your Relationship With Erotic Massage

Gabrielle Moore — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 17:00:59 +0000

Love and relationships are not anywhere near like the stories depicted in the movies and romance novels. Although they’d have you believe that expressing love is simple and hassle free, if you’ve ever been in a long-term relationship, then you probably know just what it feels like to be with someone yet still feeling alone.

It’s not very often that the movie producers, script writers, and authors explore the loveless side of a relationship. When it comes to battlefields, the bedroom is a common source of tension, suspicions, cunning strategies, defensiveness, anger, submission, and control.

What Happens When Your Relationship Gets Boring

When a relationship becomes complacent, it’s usually because one or both partner’s needs are not being met. For men, that vital need is sex. For women, it’s affection. By vital, I mean that most men and women cannot live a happy and fulfilled life if their most important needs are not met. Many times when a man is not happy with his relationship, it’s because his partner is not providing him with enough quality sex. When a woman is unhappy, however, it is quite often because her ultimate need for affection is not getting met.

No matter how it starts, when one partner’s needs goes unmet, a vicious cycle often begins. For example, if a man fails to provide his female partner with the affection she needs, she will feel neglected and withdraw from him, often turning down his sexual advancements. In turn, the man feels rejected, negative feelings develop, and he holds back his affection towards her.

This cycle is very common between couples, especially those who are married or who have been living together for many years. But the good news is that it doesn’t have to be this way.

How Erotic Massage Can Help

Sensual and erotic massage can give you the tools you need to break the cycle and meet your lady’s need for affection. Through the act of touching your partner, you can heal both your partner and your relationship. In doing so, you will be able to better connect with your partner and strengthen the bond between the two of you.

Not only does erotic massage help relax your partner’s body from the daily stresses of her life (therefore associating you with the dissolution of her negative feelings), it also brings about positive feelings of well being and sexual arousal. When you replace her negative feelings with feelings of sexual arousal, she will become intensely attached to you both physically and sexually. This, in turn, will help her to have better, stronger and faster orgasms.

Yου can use erotic massage and the power of touch to give your partner your loving admiration, love, and support. Wһеn you give your partner the gift of touch, she will have no choice but to let down her walls and open herself to you. Just one session of consciously touching your partner can dissolve years of misunderstandings and neglect, and release feelings of long, companionship, trust, and intimacy.

Love Takes Work

A loving relationship is much more than a few scenes of romantic conflict. It’s a work in progress that needs constant reinforcement and nourishment. Through the art of erotic massage, you can naturally reinforce and nourish the love and intimacy in your relationship and elevate it to an entirely new level—one that promises many happy tomorrows.

How To Win A Woman’s Love

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 04 Oct 2011 14:00:13 +0000

Love can be fickle – but it doesn’t have to be. The keys to getting a lady to fall head over heels for you isn’t all that difficult to understand – the emotions of a woman are complicated, however, with the right outlook, they’re easy enough to understand and influence. Employ these effective strategies to get the girl you’re after to fall in love with you.

Slow And Steady Wins The Race

It’s important that you approach the girl you’re interested in slowly, especially if she doesn’t know you or doesn’t know you well. A very strong come on in the beginning isn’t going to work well for you – in fact, it’s very likely to backfire. What you don’t want to do is come off as a creep, because then you could very well be scaring her off for good!

Understand that for a really strong connection to build, it has to start somewhere. It takes time for attraction to build, and if you ever plan on wanting to be in a relationship with this person, you want to make sure your taking the time to build a strong foundation in the beginning. Don’t be afraid to take it slow and let the attraction build naturally. Make sure you get to know her well, and make sure she at least knows that you exist!

If You’re Inexperienced With Women

If you’re shy and inexperienced talking to women, take that first initial step and go out there and start meeting women! Even if they aren’t the “one” that you want to be dating, getting practice talking to women and being comfortable around them will help you to be more smooth and confident when you’re around the lady you really, really like.

Don’t Lose Sight Of Your Own Passions, Goals And Interests

A lot of times what will happen when a guy becomes interested in a girl is he will begin to become obsessed with her. Thoughts of her will end up taking over his mind, and everything he does will somehow be related to her, what she’s doing or where she is. If you want to have any shot with the girl you’re pining over, you have to forget that completely!

Make sure you still have your own goals and passions. Don’t lose yourself when trying to get a girl! That almost never, ever works. She’s not going to be attracted to you if you’re completely obsessed with her. Having your own passions and goals in life (and participating in them actively) is actually the best thing you can do to make her notice you. Concentrate on living your life to the fullest and taking part in things that make you happy. If you’re happy all the time, she’s going to start taking an interest in you. If you’re fun to be around, you’ll really start to attract women!

Get To Know Each Other

In the beginning stages, it’s important for you and the lady you’re interested in to start getting to know each other. You may think you know all about her and you’re madly in love with her, but the truth is, until you’ve really spent some time with someone and have gotten to know them well, it’s really hard to tell if those feelings are genuine. Our brains are excellent at filling in the gaps when it comes to having a crush on someone, so we walk away thinking they’re the love of our lives when in reality, we don’t know them very well at all.

Search for things you and the girl you like have in common. Find out if she even likes you! You cannot force a woman to love you – if you don’t have anything in common or if she doesn’t even really like you “that way,” you can’t force a relationship to come out of it. However, you can “win” a lady’s love if the spark is already there by playing your cards right!

Invest In Yourself

Take some time to make yourself more attractive to women overall. You’re not going to get anyone if you look and feel like a bum! Exercise, eat healthy and nutritious meals and take part in activities that give you confidence and self-worth. Being more confident in general about yourself will automatically make you more attractive to women (including the girl you like). If you don’t love yourself and feel good about yourself first, no one else will either! Also, you ensure that by becoming more attractive in general, you’re leaving the door open for other women – who may be better for you.

The Less You Need Her, The More She Will Like You

You don’t want to be that needy, clingy guy that needs to be around her, be talking to her or be thinking about her to be happy. If you make her your sole source of happiness, she will run for the hills as fast as she can! No girl wants to be the “be all and end all” for a guy. So make a point to “need” her less. This goes back to not losing yourself for a girl and making sure that you still have activities and things that you’re passionate about and enjoy doing. Make time for your guy friends – go out to the sports bar and watch the game with your buddies, or do something else that doesn’t involve her. This will make you way more attractive to her – and it will give her room to chase you a little bit!

Respect That She Can Decide Who She Loves On Her Own

Give her some space. Let her chase you a little – if she feels smothered, she’s going to kick you to the curb in short order. If you’ve done everything you possibly can to win her love and she still doesn’t love you, you’re going to have to recognize when it’s time to move on. If you keep pushing forward when she’s pulling back, you’re going to make yourself out to seem like a stalker! (And you can forget a possible relationship with one of her hot friends if you seem like a weirdo who won’t let go).

She can decide who she wants to love and who she doesn’t all by herself – you cannot force a girl to love you! If this happens to you, concede defeat gracefully and with dignity. Move on, continue improving yourself and doing things that make you happy, and the right one will come along soon enough.

Relationship Advice: Is It Too Soon To Move In Together?

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Wed, 14 Sep 2011 23:00:18 +0000

A relationship often progresses naturally from dating to moving in to living together and possibly eventually to marriage. When you meet someone, you start flirting and hitting it off, and then you go on a few dates together. Before long, you and the person you’re interested are in a relationship. Once you’re in the relationship, you may notice that you move from the beginning stages to sex to commitment before you really even know what is happening. It’s easy to move fast in a partnership when you’re with someone you really, really like. Countless happy couples met and fell in love quickly, but how do you know if your relationship is going too fast? How can you tell if sharing a house together is the next step, and how do you know if the timing is right?

I’m head over heels in love with my new boyfriend. We’ve only been together one month, but we both feel this is it. Is it too soon to move in together? Our sex life is amazing and we spend every night together anyway!

What She Said:

I’m going to be frank. I’d wait a bit to make sure what you’re feeling is love and not lust. I have no doubt that you’re blissfully happy with your new beau, but your experience is currently tangled with your raging hormones. If this is the real deal, what’s the harm in postponing a life-changing move?

Don’t get me wrong – I’m an optimist when it comes to love. I’ve fallen in love at first sight and it was amazing. I was with this man for over three years, so it definitely wasn’t a fluke. I knew in my heart (and a few other places) that he was the one – at least for that time.

Don’t Rush The Relationship

Of course your sex life is amazing – there’s a mutual attraction at work and things are new. Savor this time – it’s one of the best things life has to offer.

I’m sure you’ve been in relationships before, so you’re no doubt aware that this will fade a bit. And nothing makes the thrill of the new fade more quickly than getting familiar with the old. It’s exciting to strip off your clothes and tumble into bed – it’s another thing entirely to learn that your boyfriend never picks up after himself. The thing that makes the mess less annoying is a deep bond that develops over time.

If He’s The One, Take Your Time!

If this is it, why not enjoy dating to the hilt? Let your body tingle with anticipation on date night. Go a day or two without seeing each other while you still have some “single you” time. Let it build slowly with layers of shared experiences as you truly get to know each other. When moving day comes, it’ll be a confident decision and not a reaction to a situation.

What He Said:

Moving in after a month? What could possibly go wrong? Did my public education prepare me to count that high? No. Not so much.

It’s been a month. It’s been a month. Have I mentioned it’s been a month? Because it’s been a month. Is that sinking in yet? Because seriously. Seriously. It’s only been a month.

Your brain ain’t right. Because it’s been a month (sound familiar?) It’s filled with all kind of fun, narcotic like chemicals. You can’t make sense of things. You are not in a right frame of mind. You shouldn’t be allowed to drive, or operate heavy machinery, unless of course it’s a battery powered cock ring or Sybian.

Where’s The Fire?

It will take time for you to adjust to the great sex (or for it to die down, either one). If it is a great relationship and it is the one, why rush it? Where’s the fire? Are you in a race? Do you want to win a medal? Why are you trying to get so fast to some kind of imaginary destination. Slow down. You have nothing to gain by moving so fast and have everything to lose. Just enjoy the ride!

Breakup Advice: How To Approach Your Ex Afterwards

Michael Webb — Tue, 13 Sep 2011 23:00:00 +0000

Breakup advice usually means moving on, right? Wrong! Sometimes the breakup wasn’t what you wanted – so here’s how to get started winning her back.

If you’re interested in learning how to win HER back, here’s a bit of information that might help. It may not be easy and it might not even work but if you don’t at least try, you will never know. You also need to understand that some relationships are just not meant to work and if that is the case with yours, then don’t even waste your time and effort. Rather look else where for comfort and a new beginning. However, the main objective here is to “win her back” and so this is how we do it.

Control Your Emotions

Firstly, you need to be in control of your emotions. This is not an easy task at present, emotions are running high for both of you, ranging from anger to grief and shock so it is difficult to try and focus. It requires both conscious effort and control and you need to keep your “eye on the ball” as it could be tough, time consuming and sometimes, demoralizing. But if you stay focused, then you have the opportunity to prove to yourself and everybody around you that you’re capable to deal with difficult situations.

Don’t Retaliate

When staying in control, you have to keep a mind to not retaliate. Most guys retaliate after a breakup and this definitely will make things worse than they already are. “Getting her back” or “making her want you more by making out with her friend” will NOT work. It will only validate her mistrust of you and push her away even further. You need to give your former girlfriend time alone, avoid contacting her, especially immediately after the break up. This is probably one of the most difficult things to do, but it is necessary and it also gives her a chance to miss you.

Don’t Hibernate

The last thing you need to do is “hibernate” as it is often tempting to stay at home along following a rough breakup and but this is the worse thing you could do. Not only will you be seen as weak, but it will exacerbate your situation even further driving home your sense of loneliness. It is important that you stay in touch with your friends and continue to enjoy life. You need to keep yourself busy.

How To Plan A Come Back Strategy

If you want to know how to approach your former girlfriend, talk to her friends (if they agree to talk to you), if not, be persistent and let them see you are genuinely regretful. The more information you can gather on her state of mind and her feelings towards you, the better. Research, organization and preparation hand in hand together with a romantic occasion should work hands down any time. Once you have an idea of where her mind is at, you can plan your approach accordingly and design a “come back” strategy that will not only impress her, but “blow her socks off.”

Relationship Advice: We Both Want To Live In Different Places!

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 17:00:00 +0000

Good relationship advice is warranted if you and your partner don’t see eye to eye about where you live. Of course, for a good relationship where you and your partner are both happy, you pretty much have to live at least in the same town. Most couples in committed relationships prefer to live together. What should you do if you both want different things?

My live-in boyfriend and I are at odds over a seemingly small issue: we reside in a small town. I’m really bored, but my BF wants to stay. I don’t want to break up, but living where I don’t want to is beginning to feel like a big compromise.

What She Said:

What’s the big picture? How is the state of your relationship? Do you think he’s your soul mate? These are all really important questions you need to be asking yourself, the sooner the better.

If you’re serious about this guy and you see a future with him, maybe where you live isn’t as important as how you live. Perhaps a small town versus the big city isn’t as big of a deal when you have love. Look around at what your town has to offer. Does the slower pace allow you to focus on your hobbies? What’s the quality of life like day to day? Maybe you aren’t thrilled about where you live, but you can improve your experience regardless of residence.

The flip side: Are you marking time with someone you dig – for now? If so, it might be time to take a hard look at your relationship. You’ve got some big choices to make. The safety of companionship can be great – but if you’re passing up life for comfort, you’re doing a great disservice to yourself and your boyfriend.

There are tons of compromises in a long-term union. If you’ve asked all the hard questions and determined you want to stay with your BF then maybe it’s your turn to ask a difficult question of him: I’m willing to stay for you. Are you willing to move for me?

What He Said:

How is this not a deal breaker? If you want to go and he wants to stay, and you’re both set in your ways, then this is a situation that has been brought to a head (and not in a fun way). You either stay here and be miserable but still have your man, or you go off to the big city and you get to do your thing (though minus the boyfriend) and maybe you are more or less happy there.

I guess the real question here is why are you both so set in your ways on the issue? Why are you looking to leave? What is there that you can’t get where you are at? Is it a career opportunity, or is the grass simply greener?

While we’re on the subject of questions, why is he so deadest against going? Is it a family thing? A job? Is he a big fish in a small pond? There are certainly several valid reasons he might not want to go, but then again, it might not be a valid reason.

If all you need is love and he has you and he loves you, why wouldn’t he want to go? I know a woman who moved to L.A. to be an actress. Times were hard and she packed it in and went back to Texas, where she promptly met a guy and fell in love. When she confided in him that her dream was to be an actress, he insisted that they drop everything and move back to L.A. right after they got back from the honeymoon. That, my friends, is a stud.

Why isn’t your man doing that for you? That’s the real question, and the answer is far more important than which town you end up

How Do We Get The Passion Back?

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Tue, 06 Sep 2011 23:00:19 +0000

Sex loses it’s luster after many months and years into a marriage. It’s easy for one or both partners to get comfortable with each other, which is actually one of the best benefits of marriages but can also wreak havoc on a great love life. Your sex life isn’t doomed though – here’s how to put the fire back into it.

I’ve been married for six years. I still love my husband very much, but we’ve become best friends instead of lovers. How do I add the sexual spark back into our relationship?

What She Said:

Don’t fret; your position is a common one. The great news is that the important components are here – love and friendship. You’re obviously in it for the long haul and nothing is more important than the unconditional love and companionship you and your husband share.

That said, sex is obviously a very important part of marriage – not to mention a lovely way to connect. It’s natural when passion fades. Our bodies aren’t made to keep up that level of hormonal output. The pheromones were there in order to draw you together; what you do with the rest is up to you and your hubby!

Putting The Spark Back In

How to add the spark back into your sex life? Start by thinking of all the things you appreciate about your husband. That will most likely lead to feelings of tenderness and will leave you more open to lovemaking. A romantic date night is still a tried and true approach of lighting the proverbial fires – an intimate dinner and a bottle of wine can go a long way!

Also take some time to reflect on your courtship. What made you hot then? Did you surprise him after work with a blowjob? Did you make out at the movies? Did you sneak off and have sex in the bushes outside your favorite club? Were you into costumes? If so, it might time to dust off the pom poms and slip into that cheerleading outfit! Revisiting the sexy times you two shared in the early portion of your relationship will most likely lead to a reinvigorated sex life in the now.

Don’t forget the day-to-day – hugging, kissing and saying, “I love you” keeps the connection open and reminds you both that you’re much more than friends.

What He Said

Things change. Mostly likely this started when the two of you took your eyes off the collective ball. You have to put in the effort to make the spark stay alive over time. That’s just how it is. It’s like this: If you look like a bodybuilder and you want to keep looking like a bodybuilder, you need to keep working out on a regular basis. You can’t stop working out for six months and then wonder why you aren’t in as good of shape as you used to be. It’s not magic, you (both) stopped putting the work in.

It’s far easier to maintain something than it is to re-create something.

That’s the bad news.

The good news is that it’s faster to get back in shape than it is to get in shape in the first place. Your body remembers what it was like to be in shape and wants to go back to that.

So does your relationship. You can get it back. But you will both need to accept that you’re romantically out of shape before you can get back into shape. Take sometime to figure out how you fell in love in the first place and recreate it. It will take a bit of time, but it will be worth it. A romantic getaway is a great way to start. It might be a bit of effort, but it’s worth it.

Don’t Let Sharing A Bed Ruin Your Relationship – Or Your Sleep!

Andrew Wang — Sat, 20 Aug 2011 23:00:00 +0000

A relationship involves sleeping in the same bed as your partner – but how will this affect your sleep schedule? And will it wreak havoc on your partnership?

While sharing a bed certainly has a romantic upside, it can wreak havoc on your sleep schedule. Talking to your partner about your issues, like being kept awake by snoring, can help you both solve your sleeping problems. Compromise in the name of catching a few more zzz’s will keep you both happier, at bedtime and beyond.

There was a time back in the ‘50s when you couldn’t show couples sharing a bed on TV. Think back to I Love Lucy, and you’ll recall that Lucy and Ricky had a pair of twin-sized beds in their master bedroom. It seems silly to think of a married couple not sharing a bed, yet anyone who’s ever slept next to a snorer or a blanket hog has probably fantasized about having such a sleeping arrangement.

Sleep Deprivation Means More Fights

Much as we’ve all enjoyed cuddling up under the covers with our significant other, we’ve also probably had at least a few nights where our shut eye quality suffered thanks to having a bed buddy. That might seem like a small sacrifice to make for love, but sleep deprivation is a pretty evil thing. If your partner is disrupting your shut eye night after night, you’re bound to be tired on a daily basis. If you’re tired all the time, you’re likely cranky, and you might find yourself snapping at your mate more often. Things that wouldn’t bother you a bit if you were rested might cause blowout fighting when you’re sleep deprived.

Lay Down The Ground Rules

So how can you get your much needed shut eye without reverting to separate beds? First and foremost, you and your partner need to discuss what, if any, problems you’re having. If you’re a light sleeper and your S.O. snores loudly or talks, talk to them about it. How bad and frequent is the snoring? Is it a once and awhile thing that you can use earplugs to block out? If it’s a little more frequent—say your mate has bad allergies and snores when he/she is stuffed up—try over-the-counter remedies.

Buy him or her a box of those nose strips that help open up your nasal passages so you can breathe easier and don’t snore as much. If the snoring is regular and violent sounding, your significant other might need to go to the doctor or even do a study. They might have a more serious problem like sleep apnea, which can be very dangerous. The doctor could help both your partner’s health and your sanity.

4 Ways To Be An Amazing Boyfriend

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 13 Aug 2011 14:00:49 +0000

A relationship requires effort from both partners. She’s putting it in, but are you? Are you really such a great boyfriend, or is she just hanging on to you until someone else comes along? Here are four ways you can make your relationship incredible, so your girl will want to be with YOU and only you.

Don’t Be A Boring Boyfriend

Girls want a guy who knows how to have fun. Don’t be boring – strive to plan fun, exciting things for you and your girl to go out and do. Don’t just sit at home on the couch eating take-out and watching movies or playing video games. While staying in and eating bad Chinese food in front of a DVD marathon is really fun every once in awhile, it’s not something she wants to do all the time.

Plan ways you can show her a great time, whether it’s taking her out to a new restaurant or club you’ve never been to before, or doing something really adventurous like rock climbing or horseback riding. Making her feel great by getting out and doing things (and showing her that you’re interested in doing things with her) is one of the best ways to prove that you’re a great partner – and not boring at all. Also, learn how to carry on a great conversation and engage your partner mentally. Women are so emotion and mind oriented that if you learn how to give her mental and emotional stimulation often, she will really love spending time with you no matter what you’re doing.

Be Someone That She Can Be Proud Of

Yes, there are many girls that will fall for a bum. But most of them won’t. If they do, you can pretty much bet that before long, she’s going to get tired of you and move on to someone else. Instead of letting that happen, be someone she can really be proud of. Be someone that she can tell her friends and family about. Be a motivated, confident, ambitious and energetic guy!

Have a job or other things going on in your life that she can tell other people about, such as a killer position at a popular company in your city, or volunteering as a firefighter for the local fire department. No matter what you choose to do, make sure you’re actually doing something and not nothing, and that it’s something your girl can brag a little about!

You also want to have things of your own that you’re doing that don’t always involve her. Have fun with your guy friends! Don’t be too clingy or suffocating, because if you are, your relationship won’t last long. Have things that you love and are passionate about in your life that don’t necessarily have anything to do with your girlfriend at all. Encourage her to go out and spend time with her girl friends and you do the same!

Value Your Time Together

Too many guys out there take their partners for granted when they’re in a relationship. They may rush through the dating process to have sex, or they may just get so comfortable with their partner that they take for granted any time spent with them. Don’t be that guy! Make sure that you take the dating process step by step, and enjoy each different phase of your relationship. When you’re on a date with your partner, make sure that you are fully present and that you’re engaging your partner in conversation. You want to be paying attention to her, not the game on the TV behind the bar or the cute waitress.

Also, show your partner that you really value her by making her feel sexy. Compliment the outfit she’s wearing and tell her that she’s beautiful. Take her on dates that allow her to dress up and do her hair, so she feels sexy and beautiful when she’s around you. If you’re always hanging around the house and she never gets the chance to get out of her sweatpants or put her makeup on, she’s not going to feel good about herself at all. When you touch her, tell her how soft her skin is or how nice her curves are against you. Make her feel like a million bucks!

Develop A Close Connection With Her

Don’t wall yourself off from your partner emotionally. Women speak the language of emotion, so if you’re a robot with her, she’s not going to be interested in you for long. Let your guard down some and make yourself a little vulnerable to her. Share how you’re feeling about her and about other things, and respond to the things she’s feeling when she tells you about them.

Work on developing a close connection with your partner and when you do achieve that level of emotional intimacy in your relationship, everything is going to be better. Sex is better when you’re really close with someone, and life is better in general when you have someone you can share those intimate details with.

Is He Ready For A Serious Relationship?

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Thu, 11 Aug 2011 23:00:58 +0000

Dating is fun, but sometimes you want to move on to something more committed. How can you tell if your partner is ready to move past the dating phase?

I’m dating this amazing guy. But I’m the first girl he’s dated seriously since his last serious relationship ended. I want a future with him, and I’m ready to open myself up and give my heart to him, but I want to be sure. How do I know I’m not his rebound girl?

What She Said:

Beware of “Ghost Sex!” He may like you; or he could mentally be placing his ex-girlfriend’s face on your body and going to town. Sorry to sound so crass – but the old adage, “The best way to get over someone is get under someone” is often true. I’m sure he enjoys your company; but the fact is, depending on how recent the breakup, your presence might just be keeping him warm until his heart has healed.

Are You A Rebound?

How to spot a rebound? Be honest with yourself. Does he talk about her a lot? Are there still pictures everywhere? Does he seem angry or flinch if her name is brought up? If so, chances are his mind is still on the relationship and not in the present with you. If it was a long-term relationship, his penis will most likely be ready to move on before his heart. If you’re looking for sex and nothing more, this can be a fun time for both of you. If you’re hooked on this guy, stay away until he’s had time to sort things out.

Honestly, if I’m into a guy, my rule of thumb is to not be the first girl he’s with after a serious relationship. I find that you’re usually dealing with the fallout of the past and not the good stuff. Even guys need time to work through their feelings – whether they show it or not. It’d be great to move on as if nothing ever happened – but the hurt is there somewhere, and it will find a way to come out.

Getting His Mind On YOU

You’re worth 100% of his attention. Again, if you’re looking for a fling, this is a fine time to get some no strings attached lovin’. But, given that you’re bummed out, I’d cool it with this guy. Chances are if you set your boundaries and treat yourself with respect, it’ll be you and not his ex he’s thinking about in no time.

What He Said:

I feel really old, because I thought “Ghost Sex” involved Whoopi Goldberg, Demi Moore, and Patrick Swayze. Nevertheless, I am undaunted and proudly declare “Ghost Sex” to be my new favorite word and hereby dedicate the remainder of my existence to the gratuitous use of the term until it gets old for me (hint: it won’t. I’m like a five year old.)

Here’s a thought: if you haven’t met his friends, or if he doesn’t spend money on you or if you only meet in the backseat of his car, then well, you’re just for fun. You really need to figure out how long it’s been since the end of his last serious relationship and how serious was it (marriage, living together, etc) and how messy or amicable was the break up.

Trust Your Gut Feelings

Recovery time is a tricky thing. Everyone heals from injury at different speeds, so he may be ready for another relationship right away. Or maybe not. And he may not know where he’s at in that process. So go with your gut if it feels right, then it is. If it doesn’t, well…it’s time to cut the cord.

Romance Tips: How To Set Up A Charming Picnic

Michael Webb — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 23:00:43 +0000

Romance can take many forms, but one of the most adored romantic gestures is a picnic between lovers. Here’s how to set one up for yours.

There is something to be said about leaving the city behind, getting away for a day, enjoying whatever beautiful views nature offers you, stuffing yourself silly and then lay back with a glass of wine or whatever liquid takes your fancy. When the sun is shining there’s only one thing to do – and that is, go on a picnic. Now these are not only good for the happily involved but they are essential when trying to win her back! Obviously the weather plays an important part but remember, you can do it both indoors and outdoors. All it takes is a little creative imagination.

What Food To Bring

Most importantly you must find a place that’s sheltered from the wind yet has a lovely view. Set the scene with candles or lanterns, and your loved one (yes her) will be eating out of the palm of your hand! For dinner include:

Fresh, organic vegetables such as baby carrots, cucumber fingers, baby sweet corn, broccoli, cherry tomatoes and serve with dips such as guacamole, hummus or chopped tomato in cottage cheese, suggests planning and preparation and you can grill the vegetables beforehand for something a little different.
Cold meats with cheeses such as Camembert and Brie also work well as snacks. The cheese can also be eaten with fruit or crackers.
It’s always a good idea to stick to finger foods for romantic picnics; this way you can feed each other.
For something more substantial, make a variety of wraps with cottage cheese and pineapple filling; and pita bread with stuffed with tuna salad, feta and avocado, or feta and carrot.
A bottle of wine or bubbly makes it a special occasion, but remember to first check whether alcohol is allowed at your spot of choice — and pack two of your prettiest glasses for the occasion.
Round off your rendezvous with some decadent dark chocolate-tipped strawberries.

Although it seems as though this is a daunting task, and it really doesn’t have to be. A little planning beforehand can make you look like a pro and what better way to impress her than if you can honestly tell her you prepared it yourself. Certain foods are easy and quick to prepare such as cheese and crackers, muffins, grapes, strawberries (these always score big points for the romantic), chips and dips etc., always work well.

Throw in a bottle of wine or some champagne or if going for something non-alcoholic – a chilled fresh fruit juice. When organizing your basket the utensils you bring with are very important.

Setting The Mood

Try to pick a day where the weather is just right for being outside. A sunny, breezy morning is great for brunch, while evening is full of romance and much better for drinking champagne – although you can always do mimosas in the morning! You want to make sure you have the right tools on hand for comfort:

A blanket, of course, is a must. If you really want to be nostalgic about it, find one in a classic red gingham print. A wooden basket is also a nice touch. Any soft blanket will do though.
Think about bringing supportive pillows. Inexpensive throw pillows that you keep just for the occasion can help your partner feel more comfortable during your excursion. They’re not large or heavy and are easy to take with you. This can also help create a feeling of romance if you are able to lean back some or lie down next to your partner – and they’re better for sex if you and your lover are in a secluded spot!
If there’s not a lot of wind, think about bringing candles. Jar candles are your best bet here, because they are shielded some from wind and external elements. While candles aren’t very practical if you’re having a morning or afternoon get together, they can be super romantic if you are having an evening get together.
Bug repellent is also a must. It’s not super sexy to spray you and your partner down with bug spray before eating (make sure you wash your hands first!) but it will keep the mosquitoes away. It’s hard to create romance when you’re doing nothing but scratching at bug bites! Instead of bug spray, consider using citronella candles or torches that cover a wider area, so your area will be romantically lit and bug free!

No matter what you choose to do for your get together, make sure that your partner feels appreciated and cherished. This is part of the romance – spending time away from the daily grind to eat, drink and reconnect. It’s a wonderful experience no matter how you decide to do it!

How Long Should You Stay Engaged?

Andrew Wang — Sun, 07 Aug 2011 23:00:28 +0000

Marriage is an exciting process – the proposal has happened and now you’re engaged. One of the very first things you and your new fiance have to do is to set the date for your wedding. How can you decide how long you should be engaged before you celebrate your big day? It will depend on a number of factors, including how much time you’ll need to plan, whether or not you have guests coming in from out of town, and more.

This is something you should start discussing with your S.O. no later than the day after you get engaged. The sooner you can settle on a date, the sooner you can go to work on the rest of the planning process.

Decide On The Wedding Size

Before you can set a date, you have to decide exactly what kind of wedding you’ll have. If you and your partner want a big ceremony with lots of guests, a full bridal party, and a huge reception, you may very well need at least six months to a year to get everything set up.

If you want a small ceremony with only a few friends and family, you may only need a month or so. Should you and your partner be anxious to get married and not into a traditional wedding, you might even consider eloping as soon as possible. You can always have a party to celebrate your marriage with all of your friends and family after the fact.

Picking A Special Date

Another factor to consider when picking a date is whether or not there’s a special date that means something to both of you. Maybe you want to get married during a certain time of year so you can have an outdoor ceremony, like late spring or early fall. Or maybe there’s a meaningful date, like the day you first met or the anniversary of your first date that you want to be your date.

If either of these scenarios is the case, you may have a big wait, particularly if you need time to plan and that date or season is coming up quickly. Should that be the case, you might have to wait until that date comes up next year instead of this year, or your planning might be too rushed. If neither of you wants to wait that long, you need to be willing to sacrifice your idea of a perfect date or season to get married in.

Venue Availability

Your date will also be determined by the availability of the venue you want to get married in. Some venues, like religious ones, may already be booked for someone else’s ceremony on the date that you want. It’s a good idea to have a window of dates or a few backup dates in mind in case your ideal date is booked. Otherwise, you need to be willing to be flexible on the venue.

The same thing goes for who will perform the ceremony. If you belong to a specific congregation and want your preacher, priest, Rabbi, etc., to perform the ceremony, you will most likely need to be flexible on your date. If the two of you are just going to use a justice of the peace, however, you can probably pick the exact date you want. Odds are that someone will be available for that day.

In the end, finding the right date mostly comes down to what your priorities are. If you have a detailed dream wedding plan, you’re probably going to need more time and have to be more flexible with your date to make everything work. If you and your fiance’s number one priority is to make the marriage sooner rather than later, you’ll have to be willing to be looser with your wedding plans. Just make sure that you’re both on the same page about your priorities, and you’ll settle on the right date in no time.

4 Ways To Get Your Girlfriend Back

Michael Webb — Sat, 06 Aug 2011 23:00:49 +0000

A relationship ends, and both parties move on to bigger and better things, right? Not always. Everyone, sometime in their life has been disappointed in love. Breaking up is hard to go through, especially if you are not ready for it. If, after a breakup, you realize you still want your ex back, you need to be proactive about it. In order to do so, you need to reflect back on your relationship and try and understand where it went wrong.

The Pattern Of A Relationship

Generally speaking, most relationships follow a predictable pattern. There is the honeymoon period where you first meet someone and everything is wonderful and new. They can do no wrong and you can do no wrong in their eyes. The sex is fantastic, the chemistry electric but after while, this starts to feel more comfortable rather than exciting. You start to adjust to one another, make compromises, and at this point, the relationship changes again. I call this the “establishment” period. At this point, cohabitation often occurs, a little “nesting” starts to rear its head and “she” and “he” become “we.”

A little further down the line comes the “disenchantment” stage where suddenly the little quirks that amused you and you were willing to overlook now start to bother you and in fact, often become the “bone of contention” as a means to “pick a fight.” This is the true test of a relationship and it is this particular phase of the relationship that you need to reflect upon. If you believe you can save your relationship after this deep reflection then you need to do the following:

Apologize!

So many “fools of love” out there say, “treat em mean, keeps em keen” and they are so far off the beaten track that they will never find their way on the path to true love. It takes strength of character and great sacrifice to apologize particularly if you do not believe you were in the wrong. However, sometimes it really is worth “losing a battle to win a war.” Once you have taken this first step, the rest is not that difficult to follow. Remember, it takes two people to have a successful relationship and knowing exactly what to apologize for is crucial.

Talk Things Through Face To Face

Invite your ex to meet you at a time and place convenient for you both where you can sit down and talk. The idea is to be quietly assertive, not forceful, but intent enough to get her to agree to meet you face to face. You both need to chat about the issues objectively, without blame and maturely. If necessary, suggest couple counseling with a therapist so she can see that you are serious in your quest.

Give Her Time And Space

This is probably one of the hardest things to do but by allowing your ex space not only gives her a chance to calm down and reflect, but also to miss you and it is true that as time passes, one only remembers the good times. By allowing a little time to pass, takes the heat of the anger out of the equation and emotions to settle into places of calm. This can only work in your favor.

Treat Her Like A Lady

This doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to take her on a triple Treat of Champagne Breakfast, Balloon and Boat Ride but it does mean you need to do things differently! She is the most important person on earth to you; show her this in your actions, not only in your words! Treat her like a lady and show your romantic side. A little bit of romance goes a long way!

Should You Adopt A Pet With Your Partner?

Andrew Wang — Mon, 01 Aug 2011 23:00:56 +0000

A relationship through many phases. What happens when you want to build a family with this person but aren’t ready for a kid? Should you get a pet together?

Whether you’re both experienced pet owners, or this is the first time either of you have ever had an animal, getting one together is a big decision. Co-owning an animal with your S.O. should never be treated as a whim. This is a long term commitment that will require both of you to put in time and effort every single day.

Make Sure Your Relationship Is Stable First

It will also require a monetary commitment from both of you. That’s why it’s important to be certain that you’re both in your relationship for the long run before you get an animal together. Sure a dog or a cat isn’t a baby, but it is a living creature that will be dependent upon both of you. That means you both need to be on the same page before you head off to your local animal shelter or breeder.

If you are married or have been living together for several years, you can feel more comfortable about taking this step. Not only are you in a serious relationship that will likely last for many more years to come, but you’ve also been together long enough to know whether or not your S.O. is responsible. This means you won’t have to worry about how much more difficult it will be to end your relationship with a shared animal in the mix.

It also means that you’ll know they will be more likely to hold up their end of the animal-related duties or not. If you’ve only been together for a little while and aren’t really sure if this person is the one for you, hold off on getting one together. Having to fight over who gets the animal when you’ve broken up will just make things that much worse, and shared custody will be a pain for all involved—especially for the dog or cat.

Have A Talk On What You Want

Once you’ve decided that your’re in a serious, long-term relationship, sit down and talk to your S.O. about what you’re looking for in a pet. If neither of you has ever owned an animal before, you might want to do some research online or check out books about animal ownership. This will help you get an idea of the level of commitment each kind of animal requires.

For instance, dogs require a little more work than cats do. You have to walk them regularly, and potty training a puppy is more difficult than showing a kitten where its litter box is. If you both work long hours and neither of you can get home to walk a dog at lunch time, a cat might be a better fit for you. If you work far away from your home or apartment, but your S.O. works ten minutes away and always gets a lunch break, you probably could have a dog. Just make sure that your mate is okay with always being the one who has to handle midday walks.

Divide The Responsibilities

Speaking of midday walks and other responsibilities, you and your mate need to figure out a way to divvy up the work and cost associated with having an animal. The time to do so is prior to picking up your new four-legged family member. If you can’t decide who will be responsible for feeding times, vet trips, etc. without an argument, at least one of you isn’t ready yet.
You may also find that your S.O. is trying to pawn more of the work off onto you, which could indicate that he or she doesn’t really have their heart in it. It’s also really important to discuss the costs involved.

Things To Plan

Buying from a breeder will be more expensive than adopting from a shelter, but either way there will be costs involved. Then you’ll have to pay for things like food, toys, collars and leashes, cat litter or dog baggies, and veterinarian appointments. If you don’t have a joint bank account, you need to plan in advance how you’ll divide up the payments.

The last thing you want is to take your sick dog to the vet and discover that you owe hundreds of dollars because your S.O. can’t—or won’t—pay for their half. You may want to open a joint bank account dedicated specifically to those costs, even if all of your other accounts are separate.

Once you’ve talked everything through, make sure that you go together to pick out your animal. Springing a surprise puppy or kitten on your mate might seem romantic, but it’s really not a good idea. It’s important to make sure that you both meet any possible future pets before you decide on one. You’re caring for it together, so you should make sure you both feel good about the animal you end up with.

That may also mean making compromises. You might want a big dog to go running with while your S.O. might want a small lap dog. Try to find something in between that will be athletic enough to play, but small enough to hang out in your house. Once everyone’s had their say and compromises have been reached, you’ll be much more likely to get one that you’re both absolutely wild about.

Romance Tips: How to Make Your Anniversary Truly Special

Andrew Wang — Sat, 30 Jul 2011 23:00:40 +0000

Romance can be hard to come by in a marriage, but your anniversary is coming up and you need some date ideas! Here’s how to fill your anniversary with romance.

Whether your date nights have grown generally boring or you’re looking to really set this year apart from previous ones, your anniversary is a great time to plan a truly special and exciting date. Though some people value anniversary celebrations more than others, no one can resist a spectacular night of celebrating. You don’t even need a big budget to pull off an out-of-the-ordinary date. Plan ahead, consider your partner’s likes and dislikes, and get those creative juices flowing.

Planning Ahead

Depending on what you’re hoping to do for your anniversary, you should start planning anywhere from two weeks out to a full year beforehand. The first two things to take into account are your budget and whether or not you’re getting a gift for your S.O. If you’ve got a sizable budget or have lots of time to start saving money, you can come up with some pretty outlandish date concepts.

If you don’t already have a physical gift in mind, your date can actually become your gift, which then gives your budget a boost. They say that people who spend money on memory-making experiences are happier than those who buy tangible items. Unless you know that your mate expects a piece of jewelry or techie gadgetry every year, give them the gift of a truly memorable time together.

Take them to a concert for a band that they love or to a major sporting event. Do yourself one better and go to something that’s relevant to your relationship. Did you propose at a baseball game? Did you meet at a certain rock club? Go back there and recreate that special night. The tickets are your gift to them, and the awesome anniversary date is built right in.

Go Out Of Town

If your budget goes even further, give the gift of a trip. Plan a weekend getaway. It can be to somewhere that your S.O. has talked about wanting to visit, or it could be to somewhere else equally thoughtful. Maybe you no longer live where you first met.

Go back to the town where your romance blossomed and visit your old haunts. The act of being somewhere other than your current home will instantly spice things up. Demonstrating your thoughtfulness by picking a meaningful destination will show your mate that you’re still in love with him or her.

Local Date Ideas

Of course, if you don’t have the budget for a trip or a more expensive night out, you can still plan a great anniversary date. Plan a night or day full of the things you both enjoy doing most. Eat at you two’s favorite restaurant, grab a drink or two at your favorite bar, and do at least one thing that you both really enjoy.

If you’re both into Latin dancing, find a salsa night somewhere near you. Or if you both love going to the movies, go to a late night showing of something funny or romantic that will put you both in a good mood. Lots of cities have smaller theaters that sometimes show older movies, so you might even be able to find an older favorite of both of yours to watch on the big screen.

Sure, dinner and a movie or drinks and dancing might seem like typical dates, but if you put that extra special spin on it, it becomes a much more interesting night. Just make sure that whatever you do is something both you and your S.O. really enjoy. That way you’re both guaranteed to have a great time. Then head back in for the night and let your great moods carry over into passionate sex.

Low Cost Date Ideas

Should all else fail and your budget be nearly non-existent, remember that a picnic is always romantic, particularly after dark. Even if it’s just in your own backyard, dining al fresco and imbibing a little wine under the stars can make for an incredibly lovely evening. Depending on the remoteness of your location, bring a few blankets along and you could end up creating some extra hot memories, too. You’ll cherish them forever, even if you can’t tell anyone else about them.

My Ex Wants A Booty Call! Should I Accept?

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 23:00:17 +0000

Sex advice often turns out to be wrong – especially when dealing with an ex. What should you do if your old significant other wants a booty call?

My ex I broke up recently, but he wants to keep hooking up NSA style, until one or both of us lands a new beau. Do you think that’s a good idea?

What She Said:

It depends. Are you still in love with your ex? Are you hoping sex will bring the two of you back together? Or are you surfing familiar terrains until someone new comes along? This is different from a “no strings attached/ just for sex” scenario because you two have a history and emotions are most likely lingering.

Finding Your True Motives

Sex with an ex can be a comforting thing. It can also be a very fun thing! It’s important to be honest with yourself as to why you’re really there (other than the obvious). If you’re hoping to win back your former partner, you need to ask yourself why. The two of you broke up for a reason, so you need to question why you’re going back now. If it’s your lover who’s initiated the physical contact, you need to clarify his or her intentions.

Finding HIS True Motives

Sorry to sound like a stick in the mud – I’m all for sex, whether it be a casual fling or a long lasting connection. The concern, in this instance, is the motivations on both sides. If you’re both clear as to why you’ve decided to hop back in bed, then sex with the ex is a “Yay!” If the lines are blurred and there’s the possibility of more heartbreak on the horizon, I’d advise you to skip it. There are plenty of other people out there, which means there’s no need to live in the past – even if that past involves a booty call.

What He Said:

You two broke up. There was probably a reason, right? What? You didn’t break up with this person because it was the most amazing, positive and life affirming experience of your life? Really? You’re trying to tell me you didn’t break up because it was amazing in and out of the sheets? Wow. Shocker. Please let me pause while I recover from the shock of that infinitely profound and unexpected response.

Wow. So that happened. As I recover the pieces of my freshly blown mind, I’m left with a thought: that relationship probably ended for a reason. Usually, a reason that’s perfectly reasonable, correct and valid (unless of course, you have relationship issues. Whole other column).

Do You Really Want To Get Burned Again?

If it ended for a reason, why would you go back? That’s like burning your hand on an open flame and then getting burned again because you wanted to see if you could put your hand on the flame in a different way without getting burned. It’s a flame. That’s your hand. You will get burned every time. Maybe not in the same way, maybe not to the same degree, but yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus and your ass will get burned every time you put in contact with an open flame.

So should you continue to hook up with someone you broke up with? I’m not sure what Miss Cleo or the Magic 8 ball will say, but I can’t see anything wrong with it, right? I mean what could possibly go wrong when you light a match on a gasoline tanker? Nothing wrong with that scenario!

Make Her Fall In Love With You – Using Only Words!

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 28 Jul 2011 14:00:06 +0000

Love advice can be complicated, but did you know you can make a woman feel love for you just by using the right words? If you choose the right phrases to make her feel happy, excited and warm towards you, she’s going to fall for you fast. Here are the phrases that you need to use if you want to make her go crazy over you!

Words Are Very Powerful!

Don’t underestimate the power that language has on a woman. Certain phrases can trigger thoughts,emotions and fantasies and can easily affect how a person feels in both good and bad ways. There’s no denying that words can be used to affect someone in many different scenarios. You can also read into the way another person is feeling and thinking by paying attention to the words they’re using in a conversation.

Of course, not just any word is going to make someone upset, happy, angry or excited. It’s the use of emotional language that does that. Emotional language is certain phrases that evoke emotion in someone, whether it makes them feel good or bad or anything in between. You can use innocent words to turn a woman on, or make her feel happy or ecstatic. So it’s no surprise that you can affect how a woman feels just by paying attention to the words you’re using and using the right phrases to make her feel the way you want her to!

Actions Speak Too

Remember that even if you take the best love advice to heart and use the right phrases to win a woman over, you’re still not going to get very far if you don’t follow them up with the right actions. If you’re going to “talk the talk” so to speak, you’ve got to be willing to “walk the walk.” If you say something flirty and nice, and then turn around and do something else that negates what you just said, any girl is going to be able to spot you as a fake. Make sure that your actions go along with what you’re saying and that you’re being genuine about it.

Examples Of Things To Say

Here are some excellent examples of phrases that are going to evoke emotion in a woman:

Happy – “I feel so happy being with you!”
Excited – “I’m so excited to see you.”
Love – “I love it when you….”
Adore – “I adore you!”
Confident – “You make me feel confident.”
Amazing – “I feel amazing around you.”
Incredible “You’re incredible!”

Using Words The Right Way

To have the impact you want on a woman when using language, it’s important that you pay attention and use it the right way. Avoid talking about things that create a negative energy around you, such as talking about your problems or complaining about the things around you. If you’re creating negative energy around you, you’re not going to be able to make anyone feel good regardless of what language you’re using.

Pay Attention To The Words She’s Using As Well

Women communicate with words much, much more than guys do. In fact, it’s estimated that women use on average 15,000 words a day while men use about 6,000 – so you can pretty much guarantee that she’s going to let you know how she feels and what she’s thinking in her language, even if she doesn’t come right out and say it. Listen to the hidden meaning behind the words she’s using and look for the emotions buried within.

Is she using phrases that suggest she wants to touch or kiss you? Are the phrases she’s using suggesting that she’s happy or having a good time? If so, you’re definitely on the right track! Alternatively, watch for phrases that suggest she’s not having fun or that she isn’t interested in you at all. A lot of guys don’t pay attention to it when a woman makes it clear that she’s not interested in them, simply because it’s not what they want to hear.

Consider Taking A Language Course

Because women use words so much more than men, if you want to really understand girls and how they think, you might want to consider taking a course on the subject. Becoming more knowledgeable about how people use language and the meanings behind certain phrases is going to help you indefinitely when it comes to understanding and talking to women. If you don’t want to take a course, there is tons of information out there on the Internet to help you learn to understand language and how people use it to communicate with each other!

Long Term Relationship: How NOT To Be A Nag

Andrew Wang — Wed, 27 Jul 2011 23:00:48 +0000

A long term relationship take some effort to keep. Nagging is one of those things that can destroy long term relationships if you let it – here’s how to stop!

Are You A Constant Nagger?

No one likes being called a nag. The term is full of all sorts of negative connotations. Yet all of us have probably done it to someone about something at one point or another. Maybe you find yourself repeatedly asking your mate to put their dirty laundry in the hamper and not on the floor. Perhaps you’ve requested over and over that your partner remember to deposit that check at the bank. Whatever the point of it, you know that it’s no fun being on either end of it.

When you’re the one being nagged, you feel annoyed with your S.O. Their nagging is a reminder that you’re not living up to their standards on this particular issue, and that never feels good. If you’re the one doing the fussing, you feel frustrated and exasperated. It’s not as though you want to get on to someone—you just want them to do something the first time you ask them to do it. The worst part of nagging is that you start to feel more like an angry parent and scolded child than a pair of two adults in a romantic long term relationship.

Are You On The Giving Or Receiving End?

The key to halting this in your long term relationship is being considerate and forgiving of each other. If you’re typically on the receiving end of it, ask yourself why. When your partner asks you do them a favor by picking up the dry cleaning once a week, be considerate of their wishes. Surely that partner does things for you. Maybe you get distracted easily and forget to pick up those clothes. To your partner that seems inconsiderate. That’s why they become annoyed and then get on to you about it.

Since you know that you’re prone to forgetting things, come up with a way to remind yourself, like putting a reminder into your phone. Sure, you might still forget from time to time, but if you do a better job overall, your partner will be more likely to forgive you when you do screw up. That means less fussing for you to have to endure.

Give Yourself A Reality Check

Should you be the one constantly fussing, try to check in with reality. If you’re doing it about little things, you might want to consider letting the issue go. Say your significant other always leaves the dishes on the counter instead of putting them into the dishwasher. This is probably a bad habit of theirs that they’re not likely going to change.

Instead of wasting your time and energy on fussing at your partner about it, just put the dishes away yourself. It probably takes less effort for you to load the dishwasher than it would to regularly complain to your S.O. about it. Don’t ever forget that you probably have a bad habit or two that bothers your mate. You’re not perfect, therefore you shouldn’t expect perfection from them either.

Is The Issue Bigger Than The Little Stuff?

What if there’s a bigger issue at hand than dry cleaning and dishes? Maybe you’ve been nagging your partner to stop smoking or cut back on their drinking. Instead of nagging in the moment, sit down and have a heart to heart with your mate. Do this at a time when you’re both in good moods and the problematic issue is not directly at hand. You truly are trying to help them overcome big problems here, but nagging may not be the right way to go about it.

Tell them how much you care about them, and why you need them to break their unhealthy habits for you. Then you should work together to come up with a plan. Promise them that you won’t be on their back about it every five minutes if they show you that they’re working to get better. Seek outside help or marriage counseling so that you’re not the lone person policing the issue. Above all, make sure that your S.O. knows that you’re doing this because you love them. If they love you as well, they’ll understand how well-meaning you are being.

Do Women Expect Too Much From Men?

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Mon, 25 Jul 2011 23:00:33 +0000

A relationship is about give and take, but many men think that in a relationship with a woman, they’re doing nothing but giving. Is that true?

What She Said

Umm, no. Granted, I am a woman and you haven’t given us much to go on with this question. In general, society still plays a large part in defining roles of gender and, thusly, behavior. It’s up to us as individuals to unravel what that means in our lives.

What IS Expected Of Men?

I assume you’re speaking from the vantage point of what’s wanted from men and dating, given the nature of our column. I acknowledge that men have certain pressures when it comes to relationships – the biggest sticking point with many guys being the assumption of who pays on dates. We’ve covered that several times here, but I’ll say it again – it’s not how much you spend, it’s the thought that counts. Being honest while living within your means will make for a happier relationship.

Every Woman Wants Different Things From A Man

Since I don’t have much to go on, I’ll tell you what I want from a guy – the same thing I expect from myself. Honesty, respect, communication, love and companionship all rate high on my list. Money, childcare, romance, how much time spent with the in-laws and who cleans the house are common issues. Every couple has different answers as far as these expectations go, but I’d assume the happiest relationships are where the balance of the responsibilities is relatively equal.

If He Feels Overwhelmed

If a man feels that too much is expected of him, he might want to take a look at two things – himself and the relationship he’s in. Expectations are just that – it’s up to you how (or if) you decide to fulfill them. It’s your life and resentment is a terrible waste. Don’t be a victim and assume you have to live up to someone else’s vision. Make your own rules and find a partner who believes in a similar way of life. You can’t control what others want from you (much less an entire gender), but you can control how you react.

What He Said

Do girls want too much from men? Hell yes! You want us to pay, you want us to be nice, but not too nice, you want us to love you for your mind as well as your body, you want us to put the seat down, you want us to want to do the dishes. You want a bad boy, but you want him to be monogamous, you want passion, you want consistency, you want him to have six pack abs, you want him to eat healthy, but not eat like a girl, you want him to last all night and fuck like a porn star, blah, blah, blah.

Is It Too Much?

That’s a lot to live up to. It used to be that girls were the ones burdened with all the unrealistic expectations that society heaped upon them in droves. Now men are getting our fair share. When did that happen? Where’s gender inequality when you need it? Men are starting to be as insecure as the ladies, if not more so, about sex and their bodies. That’s not right! That’s your problem. Not ours! Damn feminism. Damn you Gloria Stenheim!

Wait…what was I talking about?

Being A Supportive Partner When Times Get Rough

Andrew Wang — Sun, 24 Jul 2011 23:00:42 +0000

A relationship go through many ups and downs. Here’s how to be a great spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend in your relationshipp when things are difficult.

For Better Or For Worse

Everyone who’s ever been to a wedding or seen one on TV or in a movie knows the gist of typical wedding vows. There’s a line in there about sticking it out whether you’re healthy or sick, rich or poor. This shouldn’t just apply to married couples, of course. If you’re in a relationship with someone and they fall ill or lose their job, you should be there for them. You would want them to help you through your rough time, so you should treat them in the same manner.

How To Show Love When Things Get Hard

There are so many different ways that you can show your love during tough times. Whether your S.O. has lost their job or a loved one, just being there to listen to them will get you off to a good start. Offer to help where you can, but never be forceful about it. Say your boyfriend just got laid off from his job. Give him a few days to be upset, and then ask if there’s anything you can do to help. If he says he doesn’t need help, keep in mind that his ego is suffering.

Forcing your help on him right now might just make him feel worse and in even less control of his life. So give him space where he needs it. When someone is upset and hurting, it’s important to be observant. Follow their cues and you’ll help them in the best way possible.

Empathy Isn’t Everything

While empathy is incredibly important, don’t ever pretend to understand what your mate is going through if you haven’t been there yourself. If your girlfriend’s parent just passed away, and both of yours are still alive and healthy, you can’t tell her that you get what she’s experiencing. If you do, that could start an argument.

When a person is grieving, they feel like no one can really understand their pain. Your job is to make sure that your mate doesn’t feel alone. Tell her that, even if you can’t truly understand her particular sorrow, you want her to know that you’re here for her. If she needs to cry, yell, or just be held, you’ll be with her for all of it.

Be Throughful

Perform thoughtful acts without being asked to do so. If your S.O. typically does the cooking or the cleaning, take on some of that work so he or she can have extra time to do whatever helps them mellow out. Encourage them to get some form of exercise, which will help them feel better. Gently nudge them out into the outside world so they can’t just sit around all day focusing on their unhappiness. Of course, if they resist, never push them.

Perhaps if they’re not up for going out, you can coax them into watching their favorite funny movie or playing a game they like. Just try to get them smiling again. Sex can also be very healing, though you should try to be understanding if your significant other needs a break. When you’re stressed or depressed, your sex drive can take a real dive, so don’t take it personally if they’re not really in the mood.

Be Kind

Ultimately, the key to being a really supportive S.O. is to make sure that you are there when you’re needed. Be respectful of your mate’s need for alone time as well as together time, and never force things on someone who’s upset. Treat you S.O. kindly during a difficult time, and they will appreciate it on many levels, for many years to come.

What To Do When Your Parents Hate Your Partner

Andrew Wang — Tue, 19 Jul 2011 23:00:33 +0000

Here’s a seemingly simple scenario. You love your parents and you love your significant other. It’s finally time for your mate and your family to meet. They get together and they absolutely love each other. Why shouldn’t they? You’re their common bond, and if you love all of them, why wouldn’t they love each other? Unfortunately, life isn’t always so simple.

Oftentimes the people that we love don’t get along together. If you’ve recently learned that your parents are incredibly displeased with your choice of a partner, you may very well be reeling. Do they see some horrible quality in your S.O. that you’ve been blind to? Or are they just being ridiculous in their own expectations for you?

Consider Major Negative Feedback

If they give you majorly negative feedback on your S.O., it’s worth considering it. They may have a really good reason for not liking your boyfriend or girlfriend. Maybe they know that he or she has cheated on you. You might be okay with that, but they aren’t. Maybe he/she was really rude to them and openly disrespectful of you in front of them. If these are the sort of complaints they’ve made to you, you should think really hard about why you’re with your mate.

They know you pretty well, and they may be right in thinking your S.O. is wrong for you. If their reasons for disliking your partner are miniscule or unfounded, however, don’t even bother considering a breakup. Instead, start thinking about how you’ll smooth things over between your parents and mate.

How To Get Them To Reconsider

The first step in getting them to reconsider their stance is to give them a great sales pitch on your S.O. Give them evidence to negate their fears, however irrational. Talk about all of the wonderful things that your partner does for you. Show your parents just how truly in love you are with this person. Prove to them that your significant other is a great source of happiness for you. It can even help to point out all the ways that they’re different from and better than past boyfriends or girlfriends that also met with your parent’s disapproval.

Once you’ve convinced them to give your partner a second chance, come up with a good way to get them together again. Make sure it’s in a setting that they will likely feel comfortable and happy in. Better still, work in a way for your S.O. to show off some of their better qualities. If they’re a great cook, the two of you can make dinner for your parents. If they are baseball nuts and so is your mate, go to a game together so they can talk shop and bond over a mutual interest. They may see your partner in a new, brighter light.

When The Issue Is More Serious

What if the problem is more irreparable, though? What if your parents are showing an ugly side to their personalities? Perhaps they’ve decided that they don’t like your partner because he or she is of a different race or religion from you. Maybe they think he or she is too poor or from the wrong class standing. You’re going to have to fight an uphill battle here, and you may not be able to win.

This is when you might have to make the hard choice to cut your parents out of your life, at least until they can be more accepting. It could be really difficult to do, but if you’re deeply in love with your S.O.—if they’re someone you may very well marry and/or have children with—you can’t give them up because they are being ridiculous. It’s a hard but important decision that you must make.

Hopefully, it won’t come to that. Remind them that if they love you and want you to be happy, they’ll respect your choice in a partner. Be patient and help them learn to accept your S.O. Sometimes time is the best bandage for a situation such as this.

Low Sex Drive – How Can A Woman Get Her Libido Back?

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 15 Jul 2011 14:00:42 +0000

The libido changes in lots of ways throughout life, for both men and women. A low sex drive can mean a lot of things for a woman, especially after giving birth. Here’s how to figure out why she has a low libido and how to revv up your partner’s libido again after the baby is born.

Question: My question is, since my wife gave birth 18 months ago she is never in the mood, EVER. Now I work midnights and take care of the baby during the day to save on daycare costs. During that time at home, I cook, I clean, I do laundry and of course take care of the baby. I do this because I know her job is stressful and she works hard and the last thing she wants to do when she comes home is cook and clean. I thought all of that might help, but it didn’t. How can I help her get her get her libido back??? Thanks for the help!

–YouTube Viewer

Why A Woman’s Libido Might Change

There are a million different reasons a girl might experience a change in your lover’s libido, whether it’s a decrease or an increase. Usually it boils down to hormones. Throughout a female’s life, the levels of hormones in the body, such as estrogen, differs greatly. She may have a rampant sex drive at a younger age, only to experience a drastic decrease in libido during the aging process and the levels of hormones in the body begin to change. This is especially true right after giving birth. The good majority of the time a female experiences a change in libido, a change in hormones is what is responsible.

Communication Is Key

Make sure that you actually have an open line of communication with your partner about what is going on in your relationship, especially when it comes to sex – or the lack of it. Your partner may have no clue how you feel about the situation if you’re not talking to her – so make sure you’re actually communicating about what is happening.

Physical Reasons A Female’s Sex Drive Can Decrease

If your partner just isn’t feeling good and isn’t feeling like having sex, it may be time to make an appointment with her doctor. There are several purely physical reasons that a girl might experience a decrease in libido, such as:

Changes in hormones
Having a baby, especially if it was a difficult birth
Significant weight gain
Taking certain medications, especially anti-depressants and anti-psychotics

Emotional Causes For A Reduced Libido

Aside from physical factors, there are also lots of emotional factors that you need to consider when trying to find the root of a female’s lack of libido.

Being tired or exhausted from work or taking care of kids
Lack of time together as a couple
Lack of emotional connection
Lack of confidence and feeling unattractive, especially after having a baby or gaining weight
Depression or anxiety

A Word On Postpartum Depression

Postpartum depression is a serious issue that can happen after a girl has a baby, but it can be difficult to spot, since it’s normal for women to feel a little down after giving birth – this is most commonly referred to as the “baby blues.” However, when it becomes serious, it can be dangerous to leave it untreated. If you suspect that your partner may have postpartum depression, don’t judge or criticize. Show your partner love and support, but make sure to see a doctor immediately. Serious postpartum depression can cause a woman to harm herself or the baby, which never ends well. Symptoms of postpartum depression can include:

Lower libido than before the baby
Loss of appetite
Insomnia
Intense irritability and anger
Overwhelming fatigue
Lack of joy in life
Feelings of shame, guilt or inadequacy
Severe mood swings
Difficulty bonding with the baby
Withdrawal from family and friends
Thoughts of harming herself or the baby

What You Can Do To Fire Up The Libido

If you’ve ruled out some of the more serious reasons that your partner might be experiencing a decrease in libido there are a few things you can do to try to get that spark back into your sex life.

Plan A Date Night

Often, after having a baby, everything becomes all about taking care of the baby. There’s very little time left for you and your partner to actually spend time together away from the baby and reconnect. You need to remember why you’re a couple in the first place! The baby will be just fine with a babysitter or grandma and grandpa while you and your partner go on a date. Stay in touch, but remember that you need to take some time for the two of you.

One of the most important aspects of planning a date night is that a girl doesn’t usually have the opportunity to dress up, do her hair, put on makeup and go somewhere when she’s a full time mother – especially if there’s a full time job involved. Giving your partner the opportunity to feel like a woman again can work wonders!

Romance Your Partner

You may just be missing that element of romance that used to exist in your relationship but doesn’t anymore. Most of a female’s arousal is actually mental, and for a girl to feel sexual, she must be completely relaxed. Draw a nice bubble bath and pour your partner a glass of wine (if the baby isn’t nursing). Give your partner a massage, or buy a gift certificate so she can go get one.

Focus Your Attention On Your Partner

Remember that for a woman to feel important to you and valued by you (which is necessary for a lady to want to be come sexual with you), she has to feel like you’re paying attention to her and value what she has to say. Talk to your partner one on one, with the television off. Ask questions about how she feels and what she thinks, and then actually listen to the answers!

When You Do Have Sex

When you and your partner actually do have sex, it’s very important that you focus on her pleasure – and make sure your lover has an orgasm too! Worship your lover’s body and make her feel sexy in the way you touch and look at her. Give your partner oral sex and let her have an orgasm first, and even more than once if you can!

If She’s Having Trouble Reaching Orgasm

Many women have trouble reaching orgasm, especially after having a baby. After giving birth, things may be a little sore, or may just feel a little different down there. Don’t be afraid to bring in some props like arousal gel or warming lube. Of course, lube is especially crucial for sex after having a baby, because you can really hurt the sensitive tissues down there if the vagina is dry – which is more likely after giving birth.

How To Cook For A Woman And Win Her Heart

Michael Webb — Fri, 08 Jul 2011 23:00:36 +0000

Girls love coming home from work and not having to fix a meal – so surprise her with your skills as a chef – and follow it up with an evening full of romance. If you play your cards right, you could definitely make your girl swoon, and you might just get a little nookie out of the deal too! Here’s how to plan a super special evening where you’re in control and all she has to do is sit back and relax!

Preparation Is Important

Preparation is important here! Make sure your home is neat, tidy and most of all, comfortable. If you have kids, make sure you have organized a babysitter who can watch the children in their home. If this isn’t feasible, arrange to have a babysitter on standby at your home. Make sure that whoever is watching your kids is prepared for “overtime” if you and your lover end up getting a little frisky after dinner.

Set a flirty mood by sending the invitation to dinner to her office, leave it on her bed, in her briefcase or even send a romantic electronic invite. The fact that you actually took the time to “formally” invite her to dinner at your home will intrigue her enough that you’re almost guaranteed a “yes!”

Planning The Menu

Make sure you plan the menu well ahead of time and shop for the ingredients that you need a few days before your date. This way, if there’s anything that you’ve missed or that you run out of, you still have plenty of time to run to the store without things turning into a giant mess.

Figuring out what to make can be difficult, because you want something that is quick enough that it leaves you time for seduction at the end of the meal but you also want something nice enough that it will impress your gal. Furthermore, you don’t want something so complicated that you’re bound to screw it up and you also want to make sure it’s something she’ll actually like too! What a list! Make sure you know about any food allergies your partner may or may not have before you go shopping.

Time For Fun!

Now’s the time for “dress up” or should we call it “dress down.” Choose a masculine apron and strip naked, leaving your front covered with just your butt cheeks showing. Obviously, you would have ensured that you are freshly showered, wearing your best aftershave and have removed any unwanted hair she might have an aversion to (be it back or butt hair for that matter!).

Make a slightly exaggerated but “cheeky” effort in transforming your lounge/dining room into a sensual, romantic setting. Bend over catching her eye as you lay out the scented candles; carefully chosen mood music and table settings. Adjust the suitable temperature heating (comfortable enough to disrobe in) and check the working CD/IPOD.

Getting Down To Business

Now it’s time for the “main course.” Act the part of the gentleman and tell her you are going to “dress for dinner,” and come out in your TUX (or as fancy as you have). If she objects, saying that she would rather you stay as you are – then obey the lady, after all, the intention is to get naked anyway.

Surprise her by playing a little scene out of the movie (9½ weeks) by blindfolding her; feeding her little portions from the plate and making her guess what food it is. If she gets it wrong, she has to pay a forfeit and what forfeit is entirely up to you – use your imagination and choose one that she would feel comfortable with. Reverse the roles and allow her to do the same to you. Feeding one another is a highly erotic aspect of foreplay that bodes extremely well in building up anticipation.

Following Up With Romance

Last but not least, make sure you have scattered red rose petals all over the area you plan to use to make love, whether it is the bedroom, fireplace or next to the hot tub! You will have planned this before you started cooking, so that you and your lover have a romantic, sensual place to go when things get too hot in the kitchen!

Conflict Resolution: How To Apologize Gracefully

Andrew Wang — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 23:00:23 +0000

No matter how fantastic your relationship is, there are going to be times when you screw up. We’re only human and we all make mistakes. Whether you say something particularly mean in the heat of an argument, or do something far more serious, you’re going to have to apologize every now and again. As such, it’s pretty important to know how to apologize the right way.

Sometimes a simple “sorry” just doesn’t cut it. In fact, if you do a poor job of apologizing, you may find yourself getting into a whole new argument with your S.O. and you’ll never reach a conflict resolution. A truly good, genuine apology, however, can be like a well-executed set of stitches. Not only does it close the wound you’ve opened up, but it can minimize the chance of future emotional scarring.

Mean What You Say

Though it may seem obvious, one of the most important ways to apologize properly is to really mean it. If your apology is cast off carelessly just to end the fight at hand, it won’t be believable. An insincere apology will only rile your mate up, not satisfy their need for appeasement. Instead of hastily saying you’re sorry, hear your partner’s argument all the way through.

Then pause to consider what you’ve done wrong, and genuinely apologize for it. It can be hard to acknowledge your own wrong-doing, but if you really love your partner, you need to admit that you did something wrong and are really sorry about it. If you’re not really sorry, then you need to call a time out on the argument so you can think more by yourself.

Choose Your Words Carefully

When you actually go about apologizing, you really need to be careful with your word choice. Saying things like “I’m sorry you’re so angry” or “I’m sorry that you don’t approve of what I did” isn’t really apologizing and won’t do anything for actual conflict resolution. That’s just turning things around on your partner under the guise that you’re sorry. You need to actually take responsibility for your actions when you apologize (i.e. “I’m sorry that I forgot to mail our rent check this month”.)

You also need to be careful with your tone. Don’t yell your apology angrily, and don’t let sarcasm creep into your voice. Take a good, deep breath to calm yourself down before you start speaking. If your S.O. starts to interrupt you as you’re talking, just let them. After they’ve said their piece, start your apology again. If you keep your cool, even if your partner can’t, your apology will feel more genuine.

See Your Partner’s Point Of View

To further improve upon your apology, make sure to acknowledge that you understand where your partner is coming from. Simply stating that you get why they’re mad shows a level of empathy and regret that they’ll appreciate. If you really want to win them over, say that you want to discuss how to prevent a situation like this from happening again.

Ask for their advice and input. Inviting them to help figure out the best conflict resolution reminds them that you really do value their opinion and their role in your life. Part of apologizing is not only showing that you are truly sorry for what you’ve done, but also showing that you want to keep from repeating your mistakes in the future. A hug and a kiss once you’ve both calmed down never hurts, either!

How To Get Her To Fall In Love With You

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 22 Jun 2011 14:00:16 +0000

Love is something every man wants but doesn’t always know how to get. Women naturally want to give love – it’s hardwired into their DNA. They imagine what it would be like to fall head over heels for a guy since they were little girls! Every girl wants to be swept off her feet, so here’s how to get any woman to fall in love, almost instantly!

Mars vs. Venus

Men and women are different in almost every single way, and how love is perceived is one of them. The way guys and gals feel about love itself is so different that most men usually can’t even fathom what goes through a woman’s head when she’s falling for a guy. It can be difficult for him to know what to say or do to get a woman to swoon but there are lots of easy ways you can increase the chances that she will be attracted to you and fall in love.

What Is Love, Anyway?

Take a step back and examine the idea of love in general. Most people would define it as a deeply intense emotional connection with another person. However, that is only partly true – there is another definition of the emotion that explains what love is and why it makes us feel the way we do.

Literally, love is a series of complex chemicals released from your brain into your body that can affect several things such as your mood, emotions and energy levels. When these chemicals are released, they create the positive feelings of being “in love.”

How Do Women Really Feel About It?

Women spend their entire lives getting ready for love – it’s one of the most important things to a woman and it’s completely woven into the messages that society sends to women. Girls think about it often even from a very young age – they think about the man they’re going to marry or what it might feel like when they finally do go head over heels for a guy.

To be successful in getting a woman to swoon over you, you have to understand that for a woman, love is extremely important. So get ready to stack the cards in your favor and do a few things to increase the chances that she will fall for you.

Make Nice With Your Girl’s Friends And Family

To some degree, a woman’s friends and family have to approve of you for her to be interested in being your partner for the long haul. If you’re a total jerk to her family members or her friends, or do things that the people who are important to your woman disapprove of, you’re just stacking the deck against yourself.

It’s very difficult for a woman to love a man who her family or friends dislike, so make it easier for her by being on your best behavior around people who matter to your woman.

Open Up And Be Emotional

It’s important to make sure you come across as a strong, happy guy with a lot of confidence, however, you also can’t be afraid to show emotion. Women speak in the language of emotions, so hiding yours or acting like you don’t care about hers isn’t going to get you very far at all.

Make sure you show your girl that her emotions are important to you and that you’re not afraid to show your emotions when you are together. Making yourself a little vulnerable to her will make it easier for her to have strong feelings towards you.

Get To Know Your Girl

If you really want to develop a deep bond with a woman, take some time to really get to know her and who she is. Show real and genuine interest in the things that she likes and ask questions about what passions she has and what drives her to do what she does.

Make a habit to actually listen when she’s talking to you and make mental notes about what is really and truly important to your woman. This will show her that you actually do care and the things that mean something to her mean something to you too.

Give Her The Best Sex Of Her Life

Women associate emotion with sex – it’s just part of who they are and how they feel about sex. When they experience an amazing orgasm, they’re more likely to feel strong emotions towards the person they had sex with. Make yourself that person by giving your girl the best sex she’s ever had!

Learn to be an incredible lover. Take some time to read up on how to give a woman a sheet soaking orgasm – don’t think that just because you’ve been having sex for a while that you know everything there is to know about how to please a woman. There’s probably a lot you don’t know – so read up on how to really give a woman pleasure and then practice on your partner.

Be the best she’s ever had! Make sure that she has an orgasm first and pay attention to her body language to determine whether you’re on the right track or not. She’ll let you know what she likes and doesn’t like by the way her body responds to your touches.

Remember To Give Her Space

Girls are complicated – they need to feel close to a guy but at the same time, they need enough space to still feel like they’re independent. Make sure your girl has a life outside of your relationship. Encourage your girl to spend time with her own friends and do things that are fun without you. Take the opportunity to spend some time with your own friends and show your girl that you’re strong, confident and independent too.

You want to get close to a woman – both physically and emotionally – to get her to fall in love, but you want to make sure that you’re not too clingy or needy and that you’re giving your girl plenty of space as well.

Love Yourself First

Remember that the best way to get love from other people is to love yourself first and be someone who other people will naturally love too. If you don’t accept yourself and see yourself as worthy of other people’s love, other people aren’t going to see you worthy of it either.

When you have that inner strength and confidence, it’s incredible how many people are drawn to you and attracted to you. People naturally want to be around others who are happy and who love themselves. If you truly love yourself and accept yourself for who you are and what you have to offer the world, others (including women) will fall in love with you too.

Do Opposites Really Attract?

Andrew Wang — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 23:00:45 +0000

A relationship is based on many things, including having things in common. However, can people who don’t have things in common be attracted to each other?

It’s hard to think that “opposites attract” would have become such a common saying if there weren’t some truth in it. What does it really mean, though? Can you be total opposites in every way and still make for a perfect love match? Or do some opposites work together better than others? If you find yourself attracted to someone who seems really different from you, how can you tell if it will be more than a passing fling?

What Is So Different?

The first thing to address is exactly what’s so different about you and your new love interest. Maybe you like different types of music or different movies and TV shows. Perhaps you love to read fictional novels and your new partner only reads nonfiction. Maybe he or she doesn’t enjoy reading at all. Some people would worry that, without common hobbies or interests, you will run out of things to talk about early on in your relationship.

That’s not necessarily true, however. Perhaps you’re both open-minded types who are generally curious. In that case, you might end up learning about a lot of new things through your partner, and vice versa. Your differences may end up being the very things that keep you the most interested in each other.

How Far Do Your Opposite Qualities Go?

What if your opposite qualities go beyond things like hobbies, though? What if your very personalities are what make you opposites? Sometimes that can be a good thing. If you’re a big talker and your partner is more of an observer and listener, you may find that you’re extremely well matched. If one of you is more of a control freak and the other likes to go with the flow, the Type B person may be perfectly fine with letting the Type A one make all the decisions.

In fact, that pairing would probably be far less disastrous than getting two bossy Type A folks together. Other opposite pairings probably wouldn’t fair as well. If you’re a neat freak and your new boyfriend or girlfriend is a slob, it’s highly likely you’ll be experiencing problems the minute you start living together. If you’re a goody two shoes dating a bad boy or girl, it may seem fun for now. As things get more serious further down the line, however, you may find that his or her unwillingness to shape up is incredibly unattractive.

Breaking It Down Logically

The best way to figure out if your opposite qualities can meld to form a happy relationship is to think about them logically. Try to imagine your new significant other’s traits in someone who you don’t find sexually attractive. Would you want to be that person’s friend, or would you dislike spending time with them? If the latter is true, then the only reason you’re really into Mister or Miss Opposite is that you find them physically attractive.

Aging happens, and they might not be so hot several years from now. You don’t want to stick with someone who you won’t enjoy talking to once their looks fade. If you do think that you’d still want to hang out with them, then your opposite traits and interests are working in your favor. People often wonder how a staunch Republican and a lifelong Democrat can fall in love, but it happens.

Whether they’re both impressed by their mutual passion for politics, or they both get a kick out of debating each other, there are certain kinds of people who can make their differences work for them. If you’re one of those people, you just might find that your perfect love match is your polar opposite.

How To Buy The Perfect Gift For Your Partner

Andrew Wang — Thu, 16 Jun 2011 23:00:03 +0000

Romance means buying gifts for your partner, whether it’s your fifteenth Christmas together or first Valentine’s Day. Gift giving is just part of being in a relationship. Choosing a present to give to your S.O. is a bit more complex than getting one for your sibling or coworker.

Many factors can go into your decision— how long you’ve been together, your budget, how serious your relationship currently is and how serious you hope it will shortly become. On top of all that, you also want to make sure you get your partner something he or she will genuinely like.

Consider The Situation You’re Buying For

One of the most important things to consider when choosing a gift for your S.O. is whether or not it will be appropriate for the particular situation. The first factor to mull over is exactly what will work for the point you’re at in your relationship. If you’ve been dating for a couple of weeks and your boyfriend or girlfriend’s birthday is at hand, you want to get them a good gift, but nothing so over the top with romance that it catches them off guard.

A gift like pricey jewelry or a vacation is fine when you’ve been together for a few years, but could be misconstrued early on in a relationship. Plus, it’s also important to consider shopping within an appropriate budget. When there’s a holiday that involves an exchange of gifts, you don’t want to overspend and make your partner feel like they were cheap by comparison.

Of course, if you’ve been together for a few years and buy your partner something obviously inexpensive, that can be equally awkward. As a rule, if you think about how serious your relationship is, then seek out a gift that’s similarly serious, you’ll be fine.

Think Outside The Box

The quality of the gift is not always determined by the cost. It’s most important to show that you put actual thought into the gift you’re getting. If you know that your significant other likes flowers and jewelry, or other more typical gifts, then that’s fine. Yet you’ll be amazed at how much more your gift will be appreciated if you think a bit outside of the box. Instead of picking out a typical piece of jewelry from a chain store, choose something one-of-a-kind from a boutique or a site like Etsy.com.

If you’re buying any kind of clothing, jewelry, etc., also be sure to pay attention to what your S.O. already wears. If you buy them something that reflects their tastes instead of yours, they’ll be certain to love it and wear it often. You’ll also demonstrate that you’ve been paying attention to their taste, which proves that you’re thoughtful. Hard to find items, like out-of-print books or DVD’s, can also make impressive gifts, because you had to work a little to track them down.

Give Your Partner An Experience

Great dates can also be full of romance and make excellent gifts. While surprise vacations can be wonderful gifts for people in more serious relationships, there are smaller activity gifts that work well even after a few weeks of dating. Perhaps you know that your boyfriend loves a certain sports team, or your girlfriend has a favorite band that’s on tour.

Purchase a pair of tickets to an upcoming game or concert, plan a day around it, and give your partner the gift of some awesome memories. You’ll score even more points if you’re willing to take your partner out for something you’re not personally interested in. If you can make it through a few Tango classes despite your distaste for dancing, your Latin-dance-loving partner will appreciate it all the more.

Keeping Things Low Cost By Making A Gift

If you’re working on a small budget, you can always create a gift yourself. Handmade presents don’t have to be cheesy or seem cheap. If you have a talent, run with it—create a piece of art, bake a bunch of sweets to put in a goody basket, or curate a music mix that you know your S.O. will enjoy. Handmade touches can also add a personal element of romance to a purchased gift.

For instance, sticking concert tickets into a case with a mix CD you made shows extra initiative and creativity. Thoughtful packaging doesn’t have to be homemade, either. If your sweetheart has a funny bone, you can add some humor by hiding a more meaningful present in something silly, like sticking a piece of jewelry inside a goofy novelty mug.

Knowing Your Partner

Ultimately, if you’re observant and take note of your significant other’s tastes and personality, you can give a great gift. Put thought and time into what you choose, and your boyfriend or girlfriend will be able to tell the minute they open it. You’ll impress them and show them how much you love them, whether your budget is big or small, your relationship long term or new.

Little Everyday Things that Keep Romance Alive

Andrew Wang — Fri, 15 Apr 2011 14:00:06 +0000

Romance tends to fade in long term relationships and once you’ve been together for awhile, it can be easy to assume that your mate knows just how much you love them. As you settle into a more routine state of couple-hood, however, you may find that some of the romance and excitement has faded.

It’s important to make sure that you make an effort express your love and affection for your significant other on a regular basis. Keeping the passion of your early relationship going doesn’t require a big production, either. There are easy everyday gestures that you can make that will let your partner know just exactly how much you love them.

Love Is A Basic Human Need

As human beings, we all need to feel loved and cared for. The mere act of doing someone a favor without their having to ask can show just how much you feel for them. There are all sorts of simple favors you can perform on any given day. If your S.O. typically takes their lunch to work, wake up ten minutes early and make it for them every once and awhile.

Volunteer to take over their half of the chores when you know they’ve had a particularly bad week. If you don’t live together, offer to come over and make them dinner or clean their place, instead. These small gestures are thoughtful and truly helpful, and your girlfriend or boyfriend will find them incredibly sweet.

Little Things Make It Romantic

Doing things without any major motive is also a way to bring romance into your relationship. Bringing over flowers just for the heck of it, or serving up breakfast in bed on a Saturday morning, are two classic examples. There are other great random acts, too. There are lots of opportunities to surprise your partner with inexpensive but thoughtful little gifts.

While you’re out grocery shopping, pick up your mate’s favorite candy bar or snack. Bring over a bottle of champagne or sparkling wine to add an extra air of romance to a typical evening in. Did your S.O. recently mention in passing how much they loved eating chocolate chip cookies as a kid? Surprise them with a homemade batch courtesy of yours truly.

Don’t Forget Physical Intimacy

Of course, love also has its physical side. Making sure to kiss and hug everyday is very meaningful. Even if it’s just a quick peck goodbye in the morning, it helps to keep you physically connected. If you see your S.O. sitting around looking stressed out, walk over and give them a five minute shoulder rub and a kiss on the cheek. When you’re watching TV or a movie, sit side by side and hold hands or cuddle. If you feel like sneaking a kiss or two during the commercial break, and that leads to more, then more power to you. The important thing is to keep up regular physical contact. You’ll both be happier for it.

Saying, “I Love You”

There is another simple way to remind your partner of how much you love them. Just tell them. Say it every night before bed or every morning before you leave for work. Say it right before you hang up on the phone or type it at the end of your text. The phrase “I love you” can be reassuring, romantic—even sexy. No matter when or how you say it, make sure that you do. It’s important to put that little daily reminder across to your S.O., so they’ll always know how you feel about them. Combine these words with the other aforementioned thoughtful gestures, and everyday will have an air of romance about it.

How To Cope With Unrequited Love

Andrew Wang — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 23:00:24 +0000

Love – the unrequited kind – is something most of us have experienced at some point in our lives. You fall in love with someone, they don’t return your feelings, and you just can’t seem to let go. Logic would dictate that you shouldn’t care for someone who doesn’t care for you, but you’re so lovesick that logic no longer matters.

So how can you get over your heart break and your lingering feelings? You owe it to yourself to move forward. It’s important, not least of all because you might miss out on the person you should really be with while you’re mooning over the wrong guy or girl.

People You Can’t Pursue A Relationship With

It can be pretty difficult to see the forest for the trees when you’re head over hills for someone. When that individual doesn’t love you back, however, you need to have a reality check with yourself. Sometimes there are obvious reasons why you shouldn’t pursue a relationship with someone. No matter how attracted you are to them, if the object of your affection is married or in a happy relationship, you need to back down and look elsewhere.

If the person is your boss, your direct report, your current teacher or student, it’s inappropriate to pursue them until you no longer work together directly. When there are overt roadblocks like these, it can be easier to convince yourself to move on. But sometimes the only reason to move forward is because your crush just wants to be friends. Worse, maybe they don’t want anything to do with you at all. In either case, it’s in your best interest to spend a decent amount of time away from this person while focusing on your own happiness.

How To Deal With Rejection

You need to harness optimism in this situation, but it needs to be the healthy and not harmful kind. Move away from wishful thinking regarding the guy or girl who rejected you. There’s no point daydreaming that your married flame will suddenly leave their spouse for you, or that they’ll wake up one morning and realize they actually are in love with you.

Harness that source of hope inside yourself and direct it toward better things. Don’t sit at home and sulk night after night. Instead, enlist the help of your friends to make sure you get out of the house and have some fun. Don’t waste your time looking forward to an impossible relationship. Look forward to your fun weekend plans, to your morning run, or to completing that big project at work. Relegate thinking about love to the background for now, and you’ll find you’re able to take a step or two forward.

Moving On

The most important reason to move on is that there truly are other fish in the sea to date. If you’re busy fixating on one person, you’re missing all the other people out there who could easily be a better fit for you. If you’re out in the world enjoying yourself, you just might bump into Mr. or Ms. Right, and then you won’t give a flip about Mr. or Ms. Rejection anymore. So don’t close yourself off to the world, and don’t cling to false hope.

Instead, embrace the knowledge that there could be someone else out there a thousand times more perfect for you. Go out and live your life to the fullest, and you just might find them when you least expect it. There is no point in puppy dogging around after a lost cause. If they don’t see the value in being with you, they’re not worth it anyway.

Top 5 Ways To Keep Your Man Happy

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 23:00:29 +0000

A great relationship has finally come your way and you’re with a great guy. Congratulations! But just how exactly do you keep your guy blissed out for the next umpteen years while you grow old together? Here are five insightful tips on how to make sure your man stays satisfied and content – and keep him from looking for another relationship?

What She Said

How do you make sure your man stays blissed out in this relationship?

An active sex life – lots of it and make it hot!
Get him a membership to a Beer of the Month Club – it worked for me!
Be a good friend – be sure to have fun together in activities you both enjoy.
Give him some freedom – enjoy the trust and don’t cling.
Offer to skip Valentine’s Day – you’ll be a trendsetting heroine.

The best way to “make” someone else happy is by being confident and joyous in your own life. That shines through to everyone you meet and will also be very appealing to your mate. The bonus? Both your quality of life and your relationship will improve. A happy, confident woman doesn’t rely on someone else to take care of her – and that instantly relieves a lot of stress from a guy’s shoulders.

What Not To Do

Most men I know don’t like crying fits, pouting or being made to feel guilty. I’ve also heard a rumor that they’re not too hip on Valentine’s Day either. This doesn’t mean you can never be sad, be in a bad mood or will be forced to forgo flowers and chocolate. It means for every kind thing he does for you, from comforting you when you’re down to taking you out to dinner, is also deserving of a reciprocal action. It’s not a game of tit-for-tat – it’s a way to keep up a mutual appreciation and admiration within your duo.

Long-term relationships equal work and compromise – but that doesn’t mean it has to be a drag. Skip the drama, be honest and have fun. Treat him like your best friend – because hopefully that’s exactly what he is!

What He Said

Be his own personal slut
Regularly send him to the strip club (with a stack of $1 dollar bills!)
Make him feel like a king
Save the crazy for your girlfriends
Be as fun to be around with your clothes on as you are when your clothes are off

I’m going to get a lot of flack for #1, but let me explain. This is one of those differences between men and women. When a woman hears another woman called a slut or whore, it’s an insult. When a guy hears a girl called a slut or whore it’s a compliment. He doesn’t want you to go out and bang the Pittsburgh Steelers, though. Men aren’t looking for a girl that is “a” whore, they are looking for a girl that is “their” whore. Big difference. If you have moves that make porn stars blush, your man won’t be watching any and he certainly won’t be looking elsewhere.

Making Him Feel Awesome

Sending him to the strip club may seem like it’s a good thing only for him, but really you’re the one that benefits. You look like the coolest chick on the planet (to your man and all his friends) and you have some other girl get him all hot and bothered. All you have to do is wait for him to come home and enjoy.

Making him feel like a king is huge, especially these days. Many hen pecking, man hating feminists have taken great pleasure in cutting the collective balls off of men everywhere. Every man wants to feel like the king of his castle. Make him feel that way. You’ll be glad you did.

Try Not To Be Crazy – Around Him At Least

Save the crazy for your girlfriends (and gay men). Men don’t want to know how neurotic women are. We kind of know already, but don’t remind us. It will send your man running faster than you can say Trophy Wife. Vent to your girlfriends and to your gays (if you don’t have any gays in your life, I really have to question why) and not to your man. You’ll both be glad you did.

The Key To It All

Men love sex, this is true. We also love low maintenance (whoever said men love a ‘challenge,’ ‘the chase’ or ‘the thrill of the hunt’ is out of their damn mind), so be easy about it. Don’t put any pressure or drama (at least any that can be avoided). Just be a super awesome chick that he always wants to hang out with (even when you’re not boning each other) and you will be worth your weight in gold in his eyes (not that you’re fat. You’re totally skinny).

Show The Love – 5 Ways To Let Your Partner Know How You Feel

Maryanne Comaroto — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 14:00:52 +0000

How do you show love?

There are countless things we can do to show that we love someone – truly the list is endless. But what distinguishes love from empty actions is where the action comes from.

For instance, how are you showing love if you avoid saying something to your partner about something that’s bothering you about them, hoping to come across as noble or uncomplaining, if in the end it only ends up causing resentment and frustration on your part, which you will take out on them?

Take The Time To Learn About Your Partner

This may seem obvious, but you you really know a lot about their likes and dislikes, their pet peeves, their guilty pleasures? Knowing these things may not affect your behavior toward them, but it will show that you are investing your attention in them, and that’s a sure-fire sign that you care. Ask your partner questions to learn more about who they are. People like like to know that their partner pays attention to them.

Make Sure Their Happiness Factors Into Your Decision Making Process

Check in with them about how they’re feeling, what they think about things, and where they’re going in life. Embrace this vision they have about themselves as an integral part of you.

Pay Attention To Your Partner

People do make their desires known in one way or another; all we have to do is find the right way to listen. If your partner is using direct words to communicate desires, fantastic, but be aware that there are other clues, both verbal and otherwise, as to what someone wants. You don’t have to be a mind reader, you just have to open your eyes and ears.

React Accordingly To Your Partner’s Desires

If you keep noticing that your partner drools over TV commercials for a particular restaurant, surprise them by taking them to dinner there. It doesn’t have to be grand gestures – my husband, for instance, knows I love to sleep in, so he makes my tea for me in the morning, exactly the way I like it, and that way I don’t have to get up five minutes earlier and do it myself. He loves to meditate but doesn’t always have the time; sometimes I will shift our schedule down half an hour so he can have some time to himself.

Make An Effort To Do New Things Together

Stretch beyond what you already know about each other and about yourselves. Go places you’ve never been before, get in the car and just drive, find a new restaurant, explore a new part of town, or find new activities to try. Try new sex positions together or new ways of pleasuring each other. Develop a keen interest in learning new things as a couple. It will not only strengthen your bond, going on adventures means you’ll have a lot of great stories to tell at parties! You’ll be that couple who is always doing fun things together.

These are just some starter suggestions – feel free to get creative and expand on them! Bringing happiness and joy to each other is one of the great things about relationships. But of course, what matters the most is where these gestures originate.

5 Ways To Re-Spark The Magic Back Into Your Relationship

Michael Webb — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 23:00:03 +0000

Are you frustrated that your relationship doesn’t have the magic and romance that it once had? Do you feel like you and your lover are stuck in a rut and always doing the same things?

You’re not alone. After dating someone for a long time, it’s easy to slip into a stable and comfortable routine. While this can be comforting, when it happens you often lose the spark that made your relationship so special in the first place. Does this mean you can’t ever get those special feelings back? Of course not. Here are five simple, fun and creative ways to reignite that magic.

Give Your Partner A Unique Gift

Name a star after your partner. A number of astronomical agencies allow individuals to name stars and you receive formal documentation identifying the star that you have named.

Or how about this: Give your partner a magic gift box, and every month place a new small gift in the box for your beloved to discover. Your partner will never know when there’s going to be something sweet and special for her to find!

Say “I Love You” In A Unique Way

Take a book that your partner is reading and, using a pencil, underline letters in a section of the book she has yet to read to spell out a secret message of “I love you” or an entire love letter. Doing it just like this. Or for something really unique: You can buy special plants that grow and after 14 days display a message of your choice on the leaf. Cool or what?!?

Start Going On Dates Again

One thing that separates couples with ‘out of this world’ relationships, is they never stop doing new, fun and exciting things with their partner. In other words, they never stop dating and neither should you.

Spend the day doing fun things: go to the carnival, the beach, have a water fight, stare at the clouds on a grassy hill, go on a picnic, walk in the rain without raincoats and umbrellas, dress up in funny costumes and hit the town.

Or how about this: Pick your partner up for a date and blindfold her before driving to a special destination. Try to make the destination something really unexpected like a table set up at the top of a cliff or a dinner on a boat or old-fashioned ship. It needs to be something that will have an impact when she removes the blindfold.

Believe me when I say that NOTHING can rekindle the love, passion and excitement in your relationship more than going on fun and creative dates together.

Have Sex Like The First Time

What was so great about the first time you and your partner had sex? What makes first time sex amazing is that everything is new and there’s no rush in discovering it. Everything is unexpected and surprising. Create that feeling again with your partner by focusing a lot more on foreplay and kissing.

After you’ve reached “home base” and have already had sex with your lover, that’s usually where you’re headed when you start getting intimate. However, when you and your partner first got together, there was no rush to get past giving your partner oral sex or receiving a blowjob in return because simply, that’s as far as you had gotten and you weren’t thinking about what was coming next.

Focusing a lot more on kissing and making out with your lover (as well as spending a lot more time on foreplay) will make her feel like you’re having sex for the first time again. Don’t assume that just because you’ve gotten to 4th base before that you will again. Treat each sensation as though it were all new all over again. Your lover will pick up on your attitude pretty quick!

Kiss Her Like You Don’t Have Anything Else On Your Mind

Sometimes kissing doesn’t have to lead to sex – in fact, kissing your partner should not lead to sex much more often than it does! If you’re holding out on kissing your lover until you’re ready to get it on, you may be robbing your relationship of the romance.

Kiss your partner just to kiss her – before she goes to work, when she gets home and before you go to bed. Make each kiss special and make her feel as though you have nothing more on your mind in that moment than how great it is to kiss her.

7 Ways To Rekindle Your Girlfriend’s Love For You

Michael Webb — Fri, 25 Feb 2011 23:00:29 +0000

Are you you frustrated that your relationship doesn’t have the magic and romance that it once had? Scared this may affect or eventually end your relationship?

You’re not alone. Living with the same partner for a long time can become stable and comfortable, and, as a result, can make things stale and lose the spark that made your relationship so special in the first place. Here are some simple, fun and creative ideas to reignite that magic:

Send Her A Unique Gift At Work

Next get a large formal envelope. Place your drawing inside and type up a formal address label of your partner’s workplace, such as: “For the immediate and urgent attention of: Rebecca Jones, Level 20, Collins & Smith Solicitors, New York.” Mail it to your partner so they receive it in the middle of a busy day.

Have Fun With Water

On a hot summer’s day, buy two large water pistols and take them to the beach with you. Pull them out and throw one to your girlfriend and then have a huge water fight. If you’re lucky (and you probably will be) your lover will want to to take advantage of the fact that you’re both wet and turned on! Find a good hiding place and get your public sex on.

Bring Back Childhood Memories

Contact your partner’s family and ask if there was anything she always wanted when she was a little girl. For example, if she always wanted a porcelain doll, buy one for her birthday. She will not only appreciate the gift, but also the fact that you were thoughtful enough to find out what she always wanted.

Become Kids Again

If you are walking by a park, visit the swings and give her a ride. Might bring back happy memories from childhood.

Organize A Backyard Picnic

Spread a picnic blanket on the ground and get together some snacks, chocolates and champagne. Lie down on the blanket with your partner and gaze up at the stars together.

Show Her You’re Grateful For Her

Leave a long-stem rose where your partner will find it, with a note on it saying: “Thank you for coming into my life.”

Spice Up Your Lovemaking

Probably the most profound way to rekindle the romance in your relationship is to spice up your lovemaking. Surprise your partner with a little gift after you make love, try new sex positions, learn to give your partner an erotic massage before or after, or just spend some time staring into each other’s eyes and caressing their bare skin before making love.

Many people underestimate the power these little things have on a relationship. If things are rough in your relationship don’t wait for your significant other to do something. Take action. Make the first step towards mending your partnership. It’s all about passionate love. Show it.

Valentine’s Day – 5 Romantic Ideas To Make It Extra Special

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 30 Jan 2011 14:00:42 +0000

Valentines Day can be nerve wracking if you’re not sure what to get your partner as a gift. Sure, you can buy jewelry, plan a romantic dinner and do the whole flowers and chocolate thing, or you can plan something much more loving and romantic that will literally blow your lover away with your thoughtfulness. Check out these great romantic Valentines Day ideas and surprise your lover with something much more than a simple gift!

Arrange For Both Of You To Take The Day Off

Surprise your honey on Valentines Day with a day off for both of you – but arrange for her day off with her boss in private so she doesn’t know about it. Make breakfast for her in the morning and let her know that she doesn’t have to go in to work, and then spend the day going out on a date, having lunch, shopping or catching a new movie together at the theater. Whatever it is that you and your partner enjoy doing, spend the Valentines Day doing it together and take the opportunity to bond and reconnect.

12 Days Of Valentines

You’ve heard of the 12 days of Christmas, right? Take that concept and apply it to Valentines Day this year. For the twelve days leading up to Valentines Day, give your partner small gifts on every day, saving the biggest and best gift for the 14th. The gifts can be small or large, depending on your budget. Small gifts work just as well if you aren’t able to spend a lot of money, because the idea behind this “gift” is that you’re showing your partner that you’re thinking of them every day for twelve days! The gifts can be flowers and chocolate, kisses, cards, letters, etc. Just use your imagination! The idea is to celebrate your love for twelve consecutive days, regardless of which gifts you choose to give on those days.

Plan A Getaway

If you have the money to spend, plan a short getaway with your partner for the weekend or just for a couple days. Go somewhere warm and sunny just when it’s coldest outside, or if you enjoy the cold, rent a cabin in the mountains and spend a few days snuggling by a fire and tearing up the ski slopes. Even if you don’t have the budget for an entire weekend trip, plan a night out at a hotel in your town or a nearby town. You’d be surprised at how even just one single night at a hotel and just getting out of the house on Valentines Day can make a huge difference in how hot your sex life is! Plan for an awesome night, try new sex positions or even play a few sex games that will get you and your lover’s blood boiling for each other.

Bring Back The Mix Tapes

Remember back in the day when you would make a mix tape for someone you cared about and give it to them as a gift? Bring that idea back this Valentines Day, but do it in an updated way. Buy your partner a nice MP3 player and load it up full of your favorite songs. Make sure you fill it with songs that mean something to the two of you, especially if you have a song that you both consider as being “your song.” Wrap the MP3 player up and gift it to your lover to show them how much you really love them!

Rent An Inflatable Hot Tub

If you think you can’t afford a hot tub or have to rent a hotel with a jacuzzi in the room just to get your bubbly on this Valentines Day, think again! Lots of cities have places where you can rent an inflatable hot tub, even just for a few nights! Set up the inflatable hot tub in the middle of your living room or bedroom (or on the back deck, or wherever you have space) and surround it with hundreds of candles or sparkling lights. If you have two stories, make sure you find space on the bottom floor of your house or apartment to set up the hot tub to make sure there aren’t any huge accidents. Share a great conversation with your lover in the hot tub while sipping champagne and feeding each other chocolate, strawberries or your other favorite sexy foods. If you plan on having sex in the hot tub, make sure you use silicone lube – water based lube isn’t going to hold up for very long in the water because it rinses right off!

5 Romantic Room Decoration Ideas

Lee Jenkins — Thu, 27 Jan 2011 23:00:44 +0000

Romance is important whether you’re a bachelor or you’re married and your bedroom is the most important place in the home. This is where all the lovemaking happens, and this is where you make up with your partner after a day of not talking to each other. Every culture in the world has a term for a man who was forced to stay out of the bedroom because of some major transgression, or because his wife is too mad at him to spend the night in bed together.

Create Enough Floor Space

A romantic bedroom is not cramped, so you need to free up the floor and clear the clutter. Sometimes, you’re so in the mood that you never reach the bed. Therefore, your bedroom floor must be impeccably maintained all the time. Some giant floor pillows may be parked in the corner for when you’re in the mood to have sex on the floor.

Aromatherapy

Burning aromatherapy oils is one of the easiest ways to set the mood. Go for lilac, sandalwood, ylang-ylang or other tropical scents that remind you of the beach or a mountain resort. Whether you use oils or wax is up to you, but in my opinion, a small burner with enough oil is easier to maintain and snuff out than a few dozen scented candles. A candle-lit room is definitely romantic, but you don’t want to be running around naked and carrying a fire extinguisher if the curtains catch fire.

Heavy Drapes and Thicker Walls

The room you’re doing it in needs to be fortified with thicker walls if you cannot afford to make it soundproof. Choose multi-layer drapes in a color that complements the walls. If your walls are white, go for darker-colored drapes.

Heavy drapes will keep your dirty talk from reaching your neighbors’ ears, which is something that a flimsy set of Venetian blinds can’t do. Someone shouting ‘keep it down, will you’ from across the street can be a real mood killer, especially when you’re so into the lovemaking, which is why you need to protect your intimate moments with drapes.

Slipcovers for the Chaise Lounge

Use durable, waterproof slipcovers for the sofa inside your bedroom. Why? So that you can do it there without worrying about stains. No matter how careful you are, you are likely to leave stains on furniture in the heat of the moment, that’s why it’s better to protect your couch or love seat using slipcovers. It’s embarrassing to have to explain a mean-looking stain to the one doing your upholstery work. Slipcovers are inexpensive and they can help keep your sex spontaneous.

Paint The Ceiling

If you spend a lot of time in bed with your partner, the ceiling can become one of the most familiar sights to you. A good-looking ceiling is something to stare at while you’re in the throes of lovemaking. If your partner is doing all the work for you and you’re lying flat on your back, you cannot help but glance at your bedroom ceiling. If you see some cracks or peeling plaster on the ceiling, your mood sours a little.

4 Ways To Have A Romantic Anniversary

Lee Jenkins — Sun, 16 Jan 2011 23:00:55 +0000

Romance is an important factor in your wedding anniversary. It is a celebration not only of your many years as a couple but it is also a celebration of your future years ahead. Each anniversary should be filled with love, sentimentality and excitement. After all, you want your next year together to be as successful as the last.

Plan A Trip Together

Going on a trip together is one of the best ways to act like a couple in an unfamiliar setting. Imagine visiting places together and finding more things to talk about. Some couples have the best sex in a long time in a hotel suite somewhere far from their home. The environment is new, and so is the ambiance for your love making.

Do something romantic in every city you visit, such as riding a traditional carriage, a boat or a jet ski. If the place you are visiting specializes in an extreme sport (rappelling and bungee), go for it. The exertion and the novelty of the activity will boost your excitement. Anything that is new to you is special, especially if you are sharing it with the one you love.

Naughty Coupons

Print out five naughty coupons that are good only for your anniversary weekend. You can print anything there, including ‘one-hour backrub’, ‘your favorite sex positions for 30 minutes’ and ‘full monty striptease.’ Ask your girl to choose three of the five romance coupons that she will use during that time.

That you’re just letting her use three of the coupons is no accident. There’s a reason for this. You want her to weigh the pros and cons of the activities on those coupons. You want her to imagine which activities would excite her most. Chances are, she will end up fantasizing about all those activities and feeling more excited about your weekend together than you.

Honeymoon Night Revisited

Think you’d only use your wedding finery once? Think again! Make it a habit to re-live your wedding night every year. Wearing your wedding lingerie in your bedroom during your anniversary can be your little secret. No one needs to know why you need to have your wedding stuff dry-cleaned every year.

This would help you remember the silly and romantic moments of your wedding day, and all the bloopers that happened during the wedding night. If you can remember the way you made love that night, great! You can do it that way all over again.

Prepare Midnight Snack In Bed

Instead of preparing dinner, dine out. On your way home, you should stop by a diner and get something you can eat in bed together. Better yet, prepare a ‘sex salad’ that you can use to sustain you if you plan to make love all night long. This is full of romance and incredibly sexy, especially if you both watched Halle Berry’s scene in that James Bond movie (she fed the playboy secret agent fruit after sex).

The Art Of Compromise In A Relationship

Andrew Wang — Fri, 14 Jan 2011 23:00:13 +0000

In a relationship, learning how to compromise is one of the most important things you can do.. Though humans are meant to be in the company of other humans, we’re all individuals with our own specific needs and desires. That means we’re not always on the same page as our significant other, no matter how much we love them. If you and your partner can find ways to compromise on issues large and small, your relationship will be able to go the distance.

Communication – The 1st Step

The best way to reach successful agreements is to discuss open issues during calm moments. In the heat of an argument, you and your partner are likely more focused on your anger than reaching a solution with love. That means you should try to talk about your shared conundrums during happier times, like over a nice dinner or on a relaxed Saturday afternoon. Once you’ve established exactly what your issue is, try for a collective brainstorm.

For example, let’s say your mate was offered a job in another city which would force you to move and give up your job. Sit down together with the following ground rules in mind: you will each state your case, without interruption from the other party, and then you’ll both suggest possible solutions. Thus, your S.O. will explain why he/she thinks the move is a good idea, and then you will explain why you’d like to stay. This isn’t a situation where both of you will be able to get what you want, so you have to weigh all of the evidence at hand as you work to come up with partial solutions.

Perhaps you’ve been at your company long enough to request that they let you work from home if you have to move away. Maybe you make more money, so it makes financial sense to stay for your job, but you’ll help your partner keep hunting for something nearby. You may even have to decide that your S.O. can have their way, but you’ll get to have your way on the next big decision. As long as you both make an effort to meet each other part way, less relationship problems will come of it.

Learning To Make Tradeoffs

For smaller issues there are often tradeoffs to be made. You’ll clean the bathroom every week if your boyfriend or girlfriend will regularly vacuum the apartment. If he or she does the grocery shopping, you will do the cooking. Small, everyday compromises like these make both you and your partner feel equally important. It may seem silly, but splitting the chores or trading off which person’s friends you hang out with can make your relationship much healthier than most. Knowing that both of your opinions are heard makes each of you feel more valued and loved.

Avoiding the one-sidedness that preys on many relationships can go a long way toward the prevention of arguments and unhappiness. The best thing about a compromise is that everyone feels better in the end, even if they didn’t get exactly what they wanted. When there are clear winners and losers, relationships can suffer. That’s especially true if the same person regularly ends up on the losing end of the equation.

You have to make sure that you’re taking turns coming out ahead, or resentment starts to boil. Romantic relationships are ultimately partnerships, and that means you need to work together to seek the best possible outcomes. Things won’t work out perfectly every time, but making that effort together strengthens your bond. Ask any married couple out there, and you’ll find that compromises played a huge part in their romance success.

Relationship Advice: Are You Spending Too Much Time Together?

Andrew Wang — Thu, 06 Jan 2011 23:00:18 +0000

When you’re in relationship with someone, it can be so easy to want to spend every moment you have with them, particularly in the beginning of the relationship. However, there’s a fine line between what is and isn’t healthy. If you start to notice that you never see your friends anymore, or you’re dropping activities you used to love from your schedule, things may have gone too far.

You may even realize that you’re beginning to grow bored with dating your boyfriend and girlfriend because you’re slipping into a routine. We can’t expect one person to satisfy all of our needs, so we have to have a well-rounded life. You may be surprised to find that pursuing your own interests and friendships can actually make you and your mate that much more intrigued by each other.

How Much Is Too Much?

Perhaps you are feeling smothered by your relationship, or you suspect you’ve lost your sense of self. Think back to the things you did when you were single. Did you have a regular ladies’ or guys’ night? Were you a member of a club or sports team, or taking a class to pursue a hobby? While you may not want to pursue every activity from when you were single, it’s worth adding a few back into your lifestyle. You don’t even have to do something as frequently as you used to. If you and your girlfriends had a weekly movie night, perhaps you can try to attend at least twice a month.

Maybe your monthly camping trip with the boys can now be done three times a year. As long as you’re maintaining at least one other important relationship in your life and taking some time out of your schedule for them, that’s a start. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder. You may find that your girlfriend is that much more excited about spending the following weekend with you upon your return from that camping trip.

Keep Up With Your Own Hobbies And Interests

It is also important to keep up with hobbies and other interests you have, whether you invite your significant other to participate in them with you or keep them an alone-time activity. This isn’t just because you’ll feel happier, but also because it makes you a more interesting person. Your partner loves you for all the things that make you a unique individual, and that includes the fact that you love to read, or cook, or go running every morning.

Maybe you can no longer play video games for an entire Saturday afternoon, but that doesn’t mean you can’t fit in an hour here or there. Plus, this helps encourage your S.O. to develop his or her own interests. While you’re busy baking that cake, your mate can head outside and practice free throws. Now you have that much more to discuss with and learn from each other.

Don’t Shoulder Your Partner With The Responsibility Of Making You Happy

Truthfully, it boils down to this—if you drop all of your friends and hobbies for a relationship, you’re now reliant on your partner for all of your happiness. That’s not fair to either of you, and it can place a strain on your relationship in the long run. You will both feel better if you can learn how to maintain a sense of self-worth. It’s important to have friends there for the times when things aren’t going so great with your boy/girlfriend.

You need a network of support, just as you need to know that you can make yourself happy through hobbies and solo fun. Having two well-rounded people in a relationship will make that relationship that much more compelling. That’s the best way to ensure a long, happy and interesting romance.

Love & Romance: The Best Of 2010

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 28 Dec 2010 14:00:11 +0000

While love almost always comes freely and naturally, actually telling someone how you really feel about them isn’t always the easiest thing to do. It’s harder to actually say those three simple little words than it is to say anything else really, especially if you’re in a new relationship and have never said it before.

Even after you’ve told your partner that you really care about them, continuing to be romantic throughout a relationship is also difficult. It’s easy to sweep a girl (or guy) off their feet when you first start dating them, but after you’ve been together for some time, day to day life gets in the way and romance isn’t on the forefront of your mind.

Romance – especially for guys – is something they have to work really hard at and romantic ideas rarely pop into their heads without an instigator. Does this mean that telling your significant other that you love them or bringing romance into your relationship is impossible? Not hardly.

It may take a little more work than you originally thought, but there are lots of ways to let your lover know how you feel, often without even saying anything at all. This year, we’ve found the best romance tips out there and the best ways to show your partner you love them. Take these suggestions with you into 2011 for a romance filled new year!

Married Life: My Wife Says I’m Not Emotionally Available?

Melody Brooke — Thu, 18 Nov 2010 00:45:00 +0000

For a woman to say that her husband is emotionally unavailable in a marriage is not at all uncommon – in fact, most women aren’t sure if their husbands have any emotions at all! Fortunately, this is not a sign that he doesn’t enjoy being married to you or wants to be someone else. What it is a sign of is that he’s a man and wasn’t taught how to talk about his emotions or express them growing up. Guys, if you’re in a marriage, it’s time to grow up and learn what being emotionally available means. Ladies, here’s how you can help your man learn the language of emotion.

What Does Being Emotionally Available Mean?

Being emotionally available to your partner in a marriage is a very essential component to making the relationship work. Guys, you have to be at least willing to share a little bit of emotion with your partner. You need to be able to respond to your partner’s emotional needs and meet them without trying to “fix” them. Instead of trying to “fix” a sad partner, try to share a little bit with them and listen to them express why they’re sad and what made them upset. Most of the time, listening to your partner express what they’ve got going on and what they’re feeling will help them to get it out and get over it. Guys, most women can’t stand trying to be “fixed” or being told that they shouldn’t feel a certain way because it’s not logical. Women are going to feel whatever they feel whenever they feel it! Listen to her and allow her to express her feelings without being critical and without trying to offer a solution. She just needs you to hear her out.

For The Ladies: It’s Not His Fault

Ladies, you need to realize that men weren’t born and raised in an emotional environment like women were. Men were taught to hide their emotions – if they were sad, they didn’t talk about it. Dads didn’t teach their little boys how to talk about their feelings. Instead, they were taught how to hunt, fish, bowl, etc. to deal with their emotions. Men usually have two emotions that they express freely – happiness and anger. Any other emotions that crop up get pushed deep down or get dealt with by his retreating to whatever activity helps him to relieve stress and not talking about it. This can frustrate women to no end, but it’s not his fault! It’s just how men have been programmed to deal with what is going on in their lives and how they feel about certain things. They don’t know how to be emotionally available or how to talk about what they’re feeling. They literally don’t know the language. They don’t know what words to use to express how they’re feeling inside, so they usually just put it away.

For The Ladies: Help Him Learn The Language Of Emotion

It’s up to the ladies to help their male partners to learn the language of emotion. Guys, you have to be open to it though, or her efforts are going to fall on deaf ears.Emotions are a many layered thing, and it’s possible to feel many different things at once. This is usually what overwhelms a man and causes them to retreat – they’re not sure how to deal with that many different emotions at one time, or even one really strong emotion. Offer to listen to your partner and encourage him to talk about how he feels if something comes up that makes him upset or sad. Did he get frustrated at work? Why? How did what happened make him feel? You can offer up how you felt in similar situations without being critical so he can begin to understand how different situations can make people feel many different emotions. Don’t criticize him if he can’t think of how to express what he’s going through – instead, gently prompt him on the words to use to illustrate what he’s feeling inside. Guys, try not to shut your partners out when you’re feeling upset, sad, frustrated, angry or all of the above. Instead, allow them to be there for you. Allow them to listen to you and be there for you. She just needs to hear you out. This will make a huge difference in your relationship, whether you’re just in a long term relationship or you’re married.

10 Creative Ways To Say I Love You Without Saying A Word

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 03 Nov 2010 14:00:38 +0000

For some people, saying the three little words “I love you” is very difficult. Others have no problem with it at all (and sometimes even say it when they don’t mean it). If you struggle to express the way you feel to your partner through words, there are lots of ways to let your partner know that they are important to you and you enjoy having them in your life without using a single word at all! Here are 10 creative ideas to let your partner know that they are a big part of your life and you love having them in it.

Write A Quick Letter Or Card

Instead of saying “I love you” to your partner, instead, write them a quick love letter or jot it down in a sweet card that you picked up from the store. It is a quick and easy way to let your partner know just how much they mean to you without saying a word.

Send A Text

In the age of technology, almost everyone has texting capabilities on their cell phones. Instead of sending her a text to please pick up milk after work, send her a text that lets her know you’ve been thinking about her all day. You can do this in a romantic way to let her know that you love her, or you can make a racy text – called sexting – to tell her what you want to do to her when you both get home after work. Texting is so easy and cheap you can do it often just to add a little bit of love to her day.

Put It On A Cookie

On your next trip to the mall, visit the cookie store and have them write “I Love You” on one of those giant chocolate chip cookies. The best part is that you two can enjoy the cookie together later that night!

Draw It On The Sidewalk With Chalk

This is a great idea if your partner is away for business often or if you get home from work several minutes before your partner does. Draw a sweet message on the driveway or sidewalk with sidewalk chalk and they’ll see it as soon as they pull in the driveway from work.

Write It On The Bathroom Mirror

Write “I love you” on the bathroom mirror with an old lipstick that you don’t use anymore, or do it in soap so that when the mirror fogs up when your partner is taking a shower, the message becomes clear. The latter is so much fun because they won’t see the message when they step in the shower, but they’ll see it when they come out!

Use An Entire Pad Of Post It Notes

You can really show your love by using an entire pad of Post-It notes to write sweet messages and stick them all over the house. You can write a different message on each note, or you can simply write “I love you” over and over on each note. Make sure you use brightly colored Post-Its for maximum impact!

Place An Ad In A Newspaper Or Magazine They Read

Surprise your partner by placing a sweet message in an ad in a newspaper or magazine that they read. Make sure it’s a magazine or newspaper that they actually read though, or else they won’t get your special message!

Draw It On Their Car Windshield

You can use a wax pen or special car window chalk (you know, the kind they use for those “Just Married” signs when people tie the knot) and write “I love you” all over your partner’s car windows. Do this either in the morning before they leave for work or drop by their place of employment while they’re inside so they don’t catch you. If you’re lucky enough, you’ll be around to see the look on their face when they discover your surprise!

Use Glow In The Dark Stars

Get some of those glow in the dark stars (usually in the kids toy section) and write a sweet message on the wall or ceiling for your partner to discover when they turn off the lights. You can also use this as a seduction tactic and suggest that you two have sex “under the stars!”

Create Your Very Own LoveBook

Create an inexpensive but romantic LoveBook that contains reasons why you love your partner and enjoy having them in your life. A LoveBook truly is a keepsake that they will have forever!

7 Ways To Rekindle His Interest In You And Your Relationship

Michael Webb — Thu, 07 Oct 2010 23:00:55 +0000

Are you frustrated that your relationship doesn’t have the magic and romance that it once had? Scared this may affect or eventually end your relationship? You’re not alone. Living with the same partner for a long time can become stable and comfortable, and, as a result, can also cause the loss of the spark that made your relationship so special in the first place. Here are some simple, fun and creative ideas to reignite that magic!

1. Send Your Partner A Unique Gift At Work

Get a piece of paper and some crayons. Draw a bright childlike picture with a smiley sun and two stick figures holding hands. Add labels with your two names pointing to the stick figures. Write “I Love You” inside a heart. Next, get a large formal envelope. Place your drawing inside and type up a formal address label of your partner’s workplace, such as: “For the immediate and urgent attention of: Rebecca Jones, Level 20, Collins & Smith Solicitors, New York.” Mail it to your partner so they receive it in the middle of a busy day. Your partner will feel so surprised when she opens the letter, thinking that it will be something boring that she needs to do for work and instead finding the picture you drew saying that you love her!

2. Become Kids Again

If you are walking by a park, visit the swings and give your partner a ride. Push your partner on a merry go round, or go skating at the skating rink. Grab an ice cream cone as a treat, or play a game of Monopoly at home if it’s raining or the weather isn’t nice. Doing anything that you used to do as a kid with your partner will often bring back happy memories from their childhood as well as yours and make you both feel giddy again.

3. Have Fun With Water

On a hot summer day, buy two large water pistols and take them to the beach with you. If you can’t get to the beach, head outdoors to your very own backyard! Pull them out and throw one to your partner and then have a huge water fight. You can also do the same with water balloons or even just the water hose! You’d be surprised at how much fun you can have when you’re acting like a kid again and how turned on you both will be when you’re soaking wet and panting for air!

4. Bring Back Another Childhood Memory

Contact your partner’s family and ask if there was anything she always wanted when she was a little girl. For example, if she always wanted a porcelain doll, buy one for her birthday. If he always enjoyed a trip to the toy store, take him and let him buy anything he wants. Your partner will not only appreciate the gift, but also the fact that you were thoughtful enough to find out what they always wanted or enjoyed doing as a child.

5. Organize A Picnic In Your Backyard

Spread a picnic blanket on the ground and get together some snacks, sandwiches, chocolates and champagne. Put them in a picnic basket and head outside. Lie down on the blanket with your partner and gaze up at the sky together. You can do this during the day or at night, depending on whether you want to be looking at clouds or stars. You can go to the park too, but if you have a fairly private backyard, you don’t have to worry about people catching a glimpse of you and your partner if you start kissing or decide to get a little frisky.

6. Show Your Partner You’re Grateful For Them

Leave a long-stem rose where your partner will find it, with a note on it saying, “thank you for coming into my life.” You can also do this with a box of chocolates, a card or anything else that your partner would think is special. Doing small things for your partner on a regular basis is a great way to let them know that you love them “just because.”

7. Spice Up Your Sex Life

Surprise your partner with a little gift after you make love, try new sex positions, learn to give your partner a sensual massage before or after sex, or just spend some time staring into each other’s eyes and caressing their bare skin before making love. Give her oral sex if you don’t do so very often, or make the night all about her and her pleasure. She can also do this for you too on a different night! Better sex means a happier, closer emotional relationship too.

Married Life: Dreaming About Cheating Vs. Actually Cheating

Melody Brooke — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 14:00:51 +0000

Our dreams don’t always make sense, but if you’re dreaming about cheating on your current partner, it can be downright scary. It can be even more frightening if you’ve never thought about cheating on them during your waking hours and would never betray your partner like that. So what exactly do cheating dreams mean and should you tell your partner about them?

I have been dating the most beautiful girl for the past 3 years and I love her with all my heart and would never even consider cheating on her. But lately I have been having a lot of dreams of me having an affair on her with other girls I use to know. I wake up and I feel ashamed that I’m having dreams of hurting her and being with another woman. Any reasons why this might be happening?

–YouTube Viewer

When Your Brain Brings Up Old Memories

If you’re dreaming about cheating on your current partner but in real life would never, ever do something like that, you may feel like your sleeping brain is betraying you. Or you may feel like you secretly or subconsciously want to be with women other than your current partner, or else why would you be dreaming about them? The truth is, our bodies and our brains tend to bring up old memories when we are in similar situations and are experiencing similar emotions. What that means is that those loving relationship feelings you’re experiencing with your current partner were very similar to the emotions you experienced with your previous partners, so your sleeping brain is remembering those emotions in all the different manifestations that you experienced the emotions in. Dreams of cheating on your partner doesn’t mean you subconciously want to be with other people, nor does it mean that you will cheat on them sometime in the future with an old girlfriend, so relax a little!

Letting Your Partner Know About Your Dreams

Although your dreams of cheating on your girlfriend are harmless, the idea of telling her about your dreams can be downright terrifying. Does hiding your dreams make you a bad person? Not really, because you don’t always share all of your dreams with her. But telling her about your dreams – and why they are freaking you out – can help you and your partner better understand each other and recognize the love you have for each other. Let your partner know that you’re having dreams about cheating on her, but that you are also waking up frightened and ashamed. Let her know that you’re not exactly sure why you’re having these dreams of infidelity, but in your heart you deeply and truly love her and that you’ve never thought of cheating on her or being with someone else while you’ve been with her. Laying your feelings out on the line like that is definitely nerve wracking, but if you are completely honest with your partner, you have nothing to worry about. Your girlfriend will understand that you have no control over your dreams and that you do love her and want to be with her.

The Dreams Will Go Away Eventually

Even if you’re dreaming about cheating on your partner every night, take a deep breath and relax. You won’t dream about cheating on your partner every night for the rest of your life, so you can rest assured that the dreams will eventually go away. Talking to your partner about your dreams and realizing that the dreams don’t mean anything serious will do wonders getting your brain to relax and start focusing on something else at night. Even though you can’t help what you dream at night, laying down while worrying about whether you’re going to dream of cheating or not will definitely make it worse. Read a good book or watch your favorite televsion show or movie (that doesn’t have an affair in the plot) before going to bed to try to get your mind off of worrying about what your next dream will be. It may take a little while, but you and your partner will move through this trying time and come out on the other end with a much stronger relationship for it. Eventually, you may end up thanking your crazy cheating dreams if you are presented with the temptation to cheat in the future. You’ll remember how horrible it felt to wake up and felt like you cheated on your partner and you definitely won’t want to go through it for real!

Sex On The First Date – Does That Mean The Relationship Is Doomed?

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil — Thu, 23 Sep 2010 14:00:00 +0000

Many people credit the indescribable, nebulous cause of “chemistry” with their initial attraction to their partner. But typically relationships built on nothing more than what amounts to intense physical attraction have a reputation for tapering off or ending abruptly. But a new study finds that people whose physical relationship progresses quickly prior to developing a deeper connection based on intimate knowledge of the other person may actually last just as long.

In an analysis of relationship surveys, University of Iowa sociologist Anthony Paik found that average relationship quality was higher for individuals who waited until things were serious to have sex compared to those who became sexually involved in “hookups,” “friends with benefits,” or casual dating relationships. However, having sex on the first date wasn’t to blame for the disparity.

Does Sex On The First Date Mean A Doomed Relationship?

According to Science Daily, “When Paik factored out people who weren’t interested in getting serious, he found no real difference in relationship quality. That is, couples who became sexually involved as friends or acquaintances and were open to a serious relationship ended up just as happy as those who dated and waited.”

“We didn’t see much evidence that relationships were lower quality because they started off as hookups,” said Paik. The study judged quality by asking participants the extent to which the person loved their partner, the relationship’s future, level of satisfaction with intimacy, and how their lives would be different if the relationship ended. According to the answers, the study administrators were able to deduce that although sexual involvement wasn’t to blame for the lower quality scores for relationships initiated as hookups.

Paik points to selection: Certain people are prone to finding relationships unrewarding, and those individuals are more likely to form hookups. The question is whether it’s the type of relationship that causes lower quality or whether it’s the people,” he said. “The finding is that it’s something about the people.”

People who are involved in hookups are likely predisposed to engage in short-term relationships, therefore they’d be unqualified for the parameters of this study which looks at long term relationships. Starting a sexual relationship prior to discussing important compatibility issues can spell disaster and pain in the long run – in part two of this article, I look at how to avoid overcommitting to a relationship sexually by taking time to ask important questions about each other’s background.

Internet, Love And Marriage

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 23:00:08 +0000

It may be hard to believe that there are any households out there nowadays without internet connectivity, but there are, and if you’re single and living in one of them, you’re less likely to be in a relationship. After all the feedback we hear on how the internet can hurt our relationships, it may seem counterintuitive but the data is there, at least for now.

Does The Internet = A Greater Chance At Finding Love?

A new study shows that adults who have Internet access at home are much more likely to be in romantic relationships than adults without Internet access. And it’s not just because people spending lots of time on the internet are meeting their significant others there, although that factors in. In addition to finding that people are more likely to be in romantic relationships if they have Internet access in their homes the study revealed that the Internet is the one place that gaining importance as a place where couples meet. This study, called “Meeting Online: The Rise of the Internet as a Social Intermediary” proves that Internet access has an important role to play in helping Americans find mates.

“With the meteoric rise of the Internet as a way couples have met in the past few years, and the concomitant recent decline in the central role of friends, it is possible that in the next several years the Internet could eclipse friends as the most influential way Americans meet their romantic partners, displacing friends out of the top position for the first time since the early 1940s,” said Michael J. Rosenfeld, an associate professor of sociology at Stanford University and the lead author of the study.

How To Keep It In Check

This should come as no surprise, as most of us have a desire for connection with someone else – as well as a readily-available internet connection! But online dating can be played out in a negative way if we’re not careful, through what I call the bio-chemical craving for connection. I discuss this more in my book, Make up Don’t Breakup – which encourages a healthy view interaction within our selves and with our partners. It can become a particular factor in people who are used to constant stimulation and change – much like what we see on the internet!

This craving starts when stress causes thrill-seeking behavior. This behavior can be in the form of financial or sexual conquests and infidelities. You’re looking for ways to self-medicate and to help calm stress levels down.

So no matter where you meet your significant other – online, in person, through friends, wherever – keep in mind that all the search for constant stimulation is great in our culture and can cause stress and thrill-seeking behavior. Of course, this craving can be harnessed for good as well as evil! Instead of allowing the desire for companionship and intimacy take you to thrill-seeking behavior that results in a “high” and then a crash, turn the desire into a search for healthy relationships.

The Secret to Lasting Love – Better Than Flowers And Chocolate

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 06 Sep 2010 14:00:42 +0000

After you’ve been together for a while and the initial euphoria wears off, it’s easy to keep finding faults and to focus on the problems and bumps and forget the wonderful things that made you fall in love in the first place. Here’s the best way to keep the love and romance alive in your relationship, no flowers or chocolate required!

Gratitude Journal

When things get rough in your relationship, it’s important to remember what made you first fall in love with your partner. Chances are, the reasons you love your partner are still the reasons you love your partner but day to day stresses have just gotten in the way. It’s easy to focus on little annoyances when things aren’t going your way and this can often put a lot of strain on the relationship. Instead of going over and over why you’re mad at your partner or what they’re doing that really irks you, try focusing on what you love about your partner. Start a gratitude journal. Every day, write down five things that you love about your partner, or that made you fall in love with them in the beginning. Do this for thirty days and you’ll find that all those little annoyances aren’t such a big deal anymore and its easier to remember why your partner is important to you.

Create A LoveBook

A LoveBook is a great option for putting your gratitude journal into something you can give as a great gift and keep for years to come. Sign up for a free account online and start making your LoveBook right away. Pick between a hard or soft cover and choose your cover art. Then, pick from pre-made pages of things you love about your partner or create your very own page. Each page has an illustration on it to help bring the book to life. Once you’re finished putting it all together, order your LoveBook and have it sent to your home. Now you have something to look back on when you’re feeling frustrated in your relationship or give as a perfect romantic gift for birthdays, anniversaries, Valentine’s Day or just because.

LoveBook Gift Ideas

A LoveBook is a great gift for your husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend or partner. This is originally what the LoveBook was designed for, and you simply can’t get any more personal or original with your gift. Forget the bland “flowers-and-chocolate-or-dinner-reservations” gifts and get your partner something really special instead. LoveBooks also make great gifts for parents and grandparents to let them know how thankful you are and how much you appreciate them in your life. Make a LoveBook for your child on their birthday or on any day to let them know all the reasons you think they’re a stellar kid and why you’re proud of them. If you use your imagination, you can give a LoveBook to just about anyone and let them know why they’re important to you and why they’re a big part of your life! Of course, giving a LoveBook to your partner is super special, and it’s so easy you can make one every year to let them know how your love for them continues to grow and grow.

Q&A: What Is A Soulmate?

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 01 Sep 2010 23:00:53 +0000

Couples in love may wonder if they’ve met their soul mate. Everything is perfect and it even seems like this person finishes your sentences for you. But how do you really know if you’re with your soul mate and what happens when the initial “love at first sight” feeling wears off and you’re experiencing day to day life with someone you have a soul level connection with?

Question: Hey Dan and Jennifer, my question for you what are both of your opinions on the concept on “soul mates,” and can you put that concept into what it’s like on a daily basis?

–YouTube Viewer

What Is A Soul Connection?

A soul connection is described differently by a lot of people. There are many different opinions on what a soul mate is and if soul mates even exist. Everyone has their own opinion on whether soul mates exist or don’t, as well as what a soul connection is like when you experience it. Some people who have never experienced a soul connection are very doubtful that soul mates are possible, while someone who has experienced that deep level of love and trust will never doubt its existence. The most common description of a soul connection between two people is when both people just “know” that they need to be in each other’s lives, be it at that moment, for that week or for life. Some people feel like it is “love at first sight,” but what each person seems to agree upon is that it is a feeling about someone that goes very deep, possibly deeper than you’ve ever felt before.

Who Can You Have A Soul Connection With?

People can have a soul connection with just about anyone. Gender, social status, money or life experiences have nothing to do with whom you have a soul connection with. You may have a soul connection with a friend or a lover, or more than one person. There isn’t just one “soul mate” for each person out there on the planet. A soul connection can be had with anyone, or more than one person at a time. One soul mate doesn’t trump another, although different types of soul connections can exist. You may have a deep connection with an old friend, but you may also have a very deep connection with your partner. Both are equally important to you and nurture your soul in different ways.

What Is Day To Day Life Like With A Soul Mate?

Even if you’re in a long term relationship with your soul mate, your relationship and day to day life may not always be smooth sailing. Day to day issues are going to get in the way, such as bills and kids, and you and your partner may not always be in agreement about everything. You and your partner may not see eye to eye on everything, but the important part about soul mates is that after the storms blow over at the end of the day, you and your partner still feel that deep love between each other and still feel like you’re playing on the same team.

Eat, Pray And Love Your Relationship!

Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil — Sat, 28 Aug 2010 23:00:32 +0000

With Eat Pray Love hitting theaters, I suspect there’s a lot of soul-searching going on. The movie is based on the book of the same name which focuses on the author Elizabeth Gilbert’s round-the-world journey to seek out enlightenment and peace after her divorce. It’s reported that her publisher paid her an advance which helped to finance the trip and there’s no doubt that would sweeten the pot and help make such a trip doable.

Most of us probably won’t see an advance that enables a trip like that but there are plenty of things you can do to ensure enlightenment and peace without leaving home. And since my area of expertise is relationships, here are a few tips to keep things happy on the home front – and to help ensure the only round-the-world excursion you’ll take is one for fun and relaxation, with your significant other by your side!

Make The Most Out Of Your Relationship

Don’t over-ride emotion. Sure, it can seem easier to just sweep heated discussions or uncomfortable communications under the rug but sooner or later things will resurface. Opting not to talk about things will likely lead down a road you don’t want to be on; one where you end up in a knock down drag out fight, or one where you’re pushed apart and possibly even enter into an affair.
Instead, learn to fight fair. The idea is to provide a safe place where each person can feel comfortable talking about their fears and frustrations. These types of habits can be the glue that helps to create passion in a relationship, even during and spite of disagreements and conflict.
Know your “Imago.” Imago is the imprint that makes you who you are – your background, upbringing, friends, job history, education and so forth. But it’s also the “image” of what your’e looking for in a partner. As you transition through life changes with your significant other, a big part of making that transition successfully comes from the way you deal with stressors as a couple. Being aware of how YOU deal with these things (your imago) and acknowledging your partner’s imago helps to forestall any preconceived notions or assumptions. It all comes back to being honest with yourself and your partner!
Have an affair – with your own partner! People are looking for novelty, for that dopamine high we get when we try something new and adventurous. Unfortunately, many people sacrifice a relationship they’ve worked hard to build on the quest for that high. There are ways to recreate these feelings with your partner, eliminating the need to look outside your relationship. You know those feelings you had when you first met? That’s the newness and excitement you’re looking for. Bring new elements into your relationship, and help yourself fall back in love with your partner.

Is Marriage Dead?

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Fri, 27 Aug 2010 23:00:31 +0000

Gender roles are changing, times are tough and no one knows what it means. Nothing is changing more than the institution of marriage. But is it changing or is it just plain dead? How does this affect you and your matrimonial urges? Five minutes from now, we’ll have given you all the answers you need.

What She Said:

Well, as someone who just got married last week, I certainly hope not! I’d also hazard a guess that all the people (rightfully) fighting to legalize gay marriage are also hoping it’s alive and well. Either way, it still seems to be a commitment that’s very important to a lot of people. But how do you make a modern go of an antiquated notion? The idea that two people would enter into a lifelong contract only for the good of procreation seems incredibly absurd. And frankly, I believe it is.

A bond created between two lovers transcends moral constraints; and these days you definitely don’t need a marriage license for the kiddos. The buzzwords for wedded bliss are “unconditional love and friendship.” Getting married is a matter of choice versus necessity these days, so there’s a lot of leeway in making it how you want it. Though I personally have thrown religion out of the mix, there are a lot of questions you shouldcask yourself before making it a legal matter. Are you compatible in the areas of spirituality andcbelief in commitment? Do you want to share finances? Do you want to travel and, if so, do you travel well together? Does this person have your back, no matter what? How is the in-law situation?

Do you have compatible life goals? Are you going to choose to bring children into the mix? Do you agree on child rearing? Really, I can’t stress the basics enough – being each other’s best friend and sharing similar views on how you want to live your lives are absolutely essential to a happy union. I don’t believe marriage is dead; the concept has been around for thousands of years and will be around for a thousand more. What is dead is the old-fashioned notion that marriage can exist only between a man and a woman – and only so those people can have children. It shouldn’t matter what combination of couple stands before the altar – if you’re lucky enough to find true love in this lifetime, I say more power to you.

What He Said:

To quote Austin Powers, marriage “isn’t dead, it’s just very badly burned.” Our entire society has undergone a huge fundamental shift. Things will literally never, ever be the same. Men have lost, women have won, and as such they will be taking things over and running the show very, very soon. No one is sure what any of this mean, but though it’s not all bad, it damn sure ain’t all good, at least for men. Nowhere is this more true than when discussing marriage.

That being said, saying marriage is dead because of the shifts in our society is just as stupid as saying the music industry is dead because of the Internet and iTunes. It’s different, there are now a different set of winners and losers to the game, and the way it’s played is different, but you still can get your “I do” on if you so desire.

I will say that the concept of “unconditional love” between adults is absolute bullshit. It doesn’t exist. Sure, it exists between parent and child, but man and wife (or wife and wife or man and man) no. No way. Disagree with me? Go off and have sex with a bunch of people on your anniversary or blow off Valentine’s Day and see how your spouse likes it. See? There are conditions. You can negotiate them to be whatever you want, but there are terms and conditions. Marriage, at the end of the day is a contract. Pure and simple. You dictate the terms of the agreement and you either sign or you don’t. You can’t always get exactly what you want in it, but you should be happy with the deal you signed or you need to cut your losses and walk away.

This is a merger like any other, and it requires you to do just as much due diligence as humanly possible, even if you know the deal is a great one for both of you. You have to be on the same page as much as humanly possible and talk about everything up front. If you don’t it will become a potentially fatal mistake at some point down the road. A pound of prevention is worth a pound of cure in general, but especially in marriage.

Personally, I also recommend a good pre-nup. You plan on staying married to the partner of your dreams forever I know. I’m not saying you wont. To me, it’s like this:

You have a car right?

You have insurance on that car, right?

You don’t plan on getting in an accident, do you?

Then why do you have car insurance?

Because you know as well as I do, that sometimes they happen. And they can be messy, especially if you’re unprepared. You know what pre-nup does in a happy marriage? Collect dust. It’s like the fire extinguisher in the kitchen that you never use because there’s no fire, but there might be. That’s why you have it. You understand, don’t you?

Q&A: Do You Lose Your Friends When You Fall In Love?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 27 Jul 2010 14:00:43 +0000

When many people fall in love, the relationships they have with other people (such as their friends) start to fade. Is this something inevitable that happens whenever people fall in love and commit themselves to a relationship with one other person, or is it something that can be avoided? Can you keep your friends after you fall in love?

Question: Do you lose your friends once you fall in love?

–YouTube Viewer

All Relationships Require Nurturing

Every single relationship requires “care” and “feeding.” Whether it’s a friendship, a committed relationship, a work relationship or other type of relationship, each one will require you to nurture it for the relationship to last. A friendship cannot last if you do not spend time with your friends or stop calling them. Each relationship requires a certain amount of give and take. If your friends are doing all of the giving and you’re not giving them anything back, your friendships are going to fizzle quickly.

Why New Relationships Cause People To Lose Friends

It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new relationship. When you’re in love with someone, you naturally want to spend all your time with them. Any free moment that you get will be spent with them, while everyone else waits on the sidelines. Of course, not everyone will wait for you to find some time in your schedule for them and will soon go about their business. Pretty soon, you won’t have anyone sitting on the sidelines waiting for you. Unfortunately, this happens all to often with new relationships. People don’t take the time out they need to for their friends, instead they spend almost all of their time with their new boyfriend or girlfriend. Eventually, they’ll notice that they really don’t have any friends left. This can even happen to the deepest, longest lasting friendships. Even if you have been friends with someone since kindergarten and you have seen each other through everything, if you don’t devote some time to your friends, you stand a very good chance of losing them.

Find Time For Your Friends

While you may be tempted to spend the majority of your time with your boyfriend or girlfriend because everything is so new and feels so wonderful, it’s important that you make time for your friends too. Schedule a regular “girls” or “guys” night out once a week or every couple of weeks. Take some time to connect with your friends, talking about what is going on in your life and asking them about theirs. You may also be tempted to talk your friends’ ears off about how great your new boyfriend or girlfriend is, but make sure you listen to them talk about their lives too. You may devote plenty of time to your friends, but if all they’re doing is listening to you go on about your life, they’re going to start coming up with excuses as to why they can’t do girls’ night this week. Ideally, your friendships should stay the same no matter what type of relationships you’re going through. Whether you’re in a relationship, out of a relationship or playing the field, your friendships should be the rock you can rely on throughout everything.

What Men Need To Know About Women, Sex And Emotions

Lee Jenkins — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 23:00:54 +0000

Does your girlfriend or wife think you are a good lover? This is the question that most men find difficult to answer. On one hand, your girl probably shows all signs of being aroused and pleased when you are inside the bedroom getting it on. On the other hand, you noticed she does not climax sometimes and it has been bothering you.

What most guys don’t know is that sex for women is absolutely related to the emotions. It’s about caressing and kissing, of course, but there has to be a deeper meaning to it. For instance, if a girl is mad about something you did and you think just going through normal foreplay will “cure” her animosity, you’re wrong. You have to make sure she has forgiven you to some extent before she can really put out during your lovemaking. Here are some more tips on how to understand the emotional side of sex.

There are three emotions that contribute a lot to a woman’s pleasure during lovemaking. If you always think of these things while you’re making love, there’s no way you’re going to fail as a lover.

Love

Women have many ideas on what a good lover is, but any guy they sleep with can become a great lover if he can be romantic during sex. How can you pull this off? Tell her you love her, or whisper in her ear during sex. Make sure your caresses are lingering and your kisses are more passionate.

Trust

Have you ever wondered why some couples can do a lot of perverted stuff inside the bedroom? Think about it. How can ordinary couples do S&M like it’s the most natural thing to do when they’re alone? The secret has a lot to do with the trust that the woman has for the man. Think about this the next time you feel like bringing handcuffs (or a whip) to bed. The point is, you’re more likely to bring out your woman’s wild side if she trusts you completely.

Acceptance

A good lover must be able to make a woman feel sexy during sex, and the best way to do this is to make sure you really look at your partner’s eyes and body while you’re doing it.

A woman knows that her body isn’t perfect, but it’s extremely gratifying if you show how turned on you are by her body despite that fact. Touch her most sensitive areas along with the parts of her body that she’s most self-conscious about. Assure her that she looks sexy no matter what she’s wearing.

It is a shame that some men think sex is only about the physical. Well, I can’t blame you. Men and women react differently to sexual stimulation. However, if you really want to be her best lover ever, you have to pay attention to her emotions and the way you react to the things she tells you during sex, either through her words or through her actions.

Loving The Unlovable Parts Of Your Lover

Sarah Elizabeth Malinak — Wed, 07 Jul 2010 23:00:48 +0000

About half way through Committed, Elizabeth Gilbert’s memoir that picks up her life where Eat, Pray, Love left us, Elizabeth shares a charming scene where she and her fiancé tell each other their worst faults. They lay it all on the line like a test: this is who I really am. Can you still love me?

“Anybody can love the most wonderful parts of another person. But that’s not the clever trick. The really clever trick is this: Can you accept the flaws? Can you look at your partner’s faults honestly and say, ‘I can work around that. I can make something out of that.’ Because the good stuff is always going to be there, and it’s always going to be pretty and sparkly, but the crap underneath can ruin you.”

~ “Felipe” from Elizabeth Gilbert’s memoir, “Committed.”

I find the scene charming because my husband and I did the exact same thing. The only difference was we did it on our very first date! But I imagine the same dynamics drove both conversations and that was insecurity born of painful, challenging divorces and other dysfunctional relationships mixed with a deep desire that the new beloved understand what he or she was getting into in order to reduce damage done to the other.

Stop Sabotaging Your Relationship

Honestly, unless you’re a complete newbie to the relationship scene, it doesn’t matter whether you’ve had just one long romance (that may or may not have gone bad) or a string of monogamous (or not so monogamous) relationships; you know the stuff about you that sabotages romance and good loving. You know the places you go to with words, attitude, and actions that drive a wedge between you and your partner, whoever your partner is. Your partner knows those things about himself or herself as well. The longer you’ve been together, the better you know those things about each other.

So what do you do with those things to keep from sabotaging your relationship? And, by the way, sabotage can look as dramatic as the relationship falling apart or as mundane as simply ruining an afternoon or a single day. How do you love the unlovable parts of your lover?

Perhaps I’ve hinted at where to begin? That would be with you. A quick way to turn down the heat of repulsion that your partner’s words, attitude, or actions have engendered is to recognize that you have things about you that repulse your partner as well. Whether it’s the times when you suddenly feel like complete strangers to each other (and not in a good way) or the times certain reoccurring behaviors drive you batty, you are both only human and so you are both going to be guilty of doing or saying things that turn the other person off. Accepting this can help lighten up how you feel about the issue and how you feel towards your lover.

Loving The Unlovable Parts Of Your Lover

Loving the unlovable parts of your lover doesn’t mean forcing yourself to interpret annoying things as charming. Although that is one way to tackle it, love is bigger than that. Love often means allowing people to make mistakes, take risks, do things that go against our ideals while managing the ego’s war inside that would really rather control the other person than make allowances for them.

And so if your lover, for instance, has a habit of taking off their shoes and playing with their feet and toes every night when they settle down on the sofa beside you to watch a little T.V. and it’s something that makes your skin crawl, you have some decisions to make. Do you really need to go to battle over this and make them change their behavior? Maybe so. If so, make it as much about you as you can.

So, rather than blast them for being gross or insensitive, make it about your limitations and how you need them to do this for you. Ask if there’s anything in return you can do for them to make their life with you more comfortable. There’s no easy way to say, “This right here must stop.” But if it must stop, better to make the request than to let discomfort turn into resentment.

However, maybe you don’t really need to turn this into a battle. Maybe you love to suck on those toes when they are freshly bathed and so you think you can create peace inside yourself over this presently irritating habit. Give that a try before creating a battle over this. Work with yourself to see if you can change rather than asking your lover to change. You may not ever like your lover’s habit but even if it can become a neutral event in your daily routine, neutrality can be an expression of loving your partner in spite of this particular unlovable habit.

Open Your Eyes And Heart

Of course, a third option is to join in the fun, remove your own shoes and socks and play with your feet and toes!

Felipe’s advice as Elizabeth Gilbert relates it is really good. It suggests that loving the unlovable parts comes down to facing them squarely and determining with complete honesty whether or not you can accept the bad with the good. At the very beginning of a romance, this can save a couple a lots of time, trouble, and heartache if the truthful answer is “No.” In that case, you can go your separate ways before harm is done.

But if the truthful answer is yes then you proceed with growing the love between you with open eyes and hearts. This practice begun early in the relationship can help you navigate a lifetime of choosing each other as lovers over and over again as each day uncovers the mystery of who you each are in the world and to each other.

Q&A: Can A Relationship That Starts As An Affair Really Last?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 06 Jul 2010 14:00:43 +0000

People start relationships in a variety of different ways. You might meet someone at a coffee shop, a bowling alley, a bar or through a friend. Or you may have had an affair with them while you were in another relationship. Can a relationship that was once an affair really succeed or is this relationship doomed to end?

Question: What’s the chances a relationship can work when both sides lied and had affairs on their spouses? Do they normally last?

–YouTube Viewer

Statistically Speaking

Statistically, a relationship that starts out as an affair generally won’t work out. In fact, second marriages statistically have a higher failure rate than first marriages, and third marriages and so on have an even higher failure rate than that. But these are just statistics. It doesn’t mean that your particular relationship won’t work out or is doomed to fail. A relationship is made up of many, many more things than how you met. Many relationships have difficult beginnings that both partners are able to move past to create a healthy, happy relationship.

That said, two people must truly trust each other and be honest with each other if their relationship is going to last. Typically these are issues that people have with each other when the relationship starts out as an affair. You and your partner may both feel that the other is going to cheat again, since they cheated on their previous partners. While this doesn’t mean it will happen, you and your partner need to sit down and talk with each other and make a committment to be completely honest with each other and trust each other.

Repeating The Same Patterns

The biggest reason that relationships don’t work out is not because of how you met or even what went on at the beginning of the relationship. Many people carry with them the same habits and issues that made their previous relationships fail. Instead of solving the deeper issues that are at the core of the relationship problems, they assume that it is their partner’s fault and move on to find someone else without those “faults.” In reality, they are simply taking the same problems with them into a new relationship. They will repeat the same patterns over and over until they truly realize what is at the heart of the matter.

Resolve Your Own Inner Issues

For any relationship to succeed, whether it started out as an affair or not, you must solve your own inner issues before you are able to fully commit to a happy, healthy and trusting relationship. Take some time to think about what might have caused your earlier relationships to go awry, and think about how you might have contributed to those issues. Think about what your previous partners have said about you, and if there is a trend there. Are they all saying the same thing? Could there possibly be some truth to the matter? It’s not easy taking such a deep look within yourself at all your flaws and failures, but for any relationship to succeed, you need to resolve your own inner issues. Work towards bettering yourself and bettering your relationship by eliminating your contributions to problems in this relationship and past relationships.

How To Tell Her You Love Her – 5 Romantic Ideas

Lee Jenkins — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 23:00:15 +0000

Getting the attention of a beautiful girl is easy, but maintaining that level of attention is difficult. If you think you’ve “got her” when she agrees to date you, think again. A woman’s mind can change rather quickly if the man she’s with is not emotionally available. If you want to enjoy a lasting relationship with a woman, you need to get her to think of you in a more romantic way.

Whatever you do, you shouldn’t be complacent when it comes to dating. Most men realize this and they do what they can to be more romantic, but unfortunately, the women won’t recognize their efforts. It’s not always because the men are doing it wrong. It may be because the woman expects something more.

Your mission is to make her think of you as the most romantic guy ever, and here are 5 ways to do that.

Do Her Chores

Making life easy for your girl is one sign that you love her, and she will feel this too. Once a week, make it a point to give your girl a day off by taking charge of chores while she does her nails or while she visits a salon for a makeover.

Flowers

You often hear that girls think it’s sweet when men give them flowers for birthdays and valentines, right? You know what’s sweeter? It’s giving flowers when there’s no special occasion to celebrate. On any ordinary day, give her a few stalks of her favorite flowers. Women are conditioned to like this gesture from their childhood, so you can’t go wrong with this one.

Dinner

Even the modern woman feels all warm and fuzzy when a man pays for her meal. It’s just an instinct that all women share. Take your girl out, go to her favorite restaurant and snack together on her favorite dishes whenever you can.

Travel Together

Whether it’s just the next state or a neighboring country, make sure you spend some time with your girl travelling to another place for a change of scene. Being stuck in one place can be uncomfortable, not to mention boring. Make sure you ask your girl where she wants to go, and which activities she wants to try in another place before making your plans.

Sex

Love making is the ultimate way to express your feelings to her. Set it up nicely with a good bubble bath, scented candles and aromatic oils. When she’s relaxed, you can proceed with erotic massage. Be patient and make her feel that it’s her night and you’re her sex slave for the night.

Go for kinky sex! If your girl is usually submissive during sex, turn the tables on her and let her dominate you for one night. However, be sure to give her guidance and instructions (like what the leather whip is for), or offer suggestions on how to role play as a dominatrix.

Start Dating Your Way Into A Great Relationship

Maryanne Comaroto — Tue, 22 Jun 2010 23:00:12 +0000

Because of who I am, people ask me for dating advice frequently. I certainly have some favorite tips I like to hand out to those in need. So whether you’ve come back to the dating world after a breakup or divorce, or just after an extended break from romance, try these tips to get you on the right path to finding and maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship.

Declutter Yourself

To learn what you DO want, define what you DON’T want. Everyone has some things that are non-negotiable – some people won’t tolerate smoking, others won’t tolerate gambling, and so forth. To learn how to make an effective list of deal-breakers, get a copy of Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers.
Prepare yourself for your new relationship everyday by doing little things to de-clutter your soul. It’s time to start letting go of all those old love letters and photos that only remind you of heartbreak. Start looking toward your future and be ready for love!
Desperation doesn’t look good on anyone. No matter how desperate you may feel inside, rushing into things at the first sign of chemistry is not likely to end well. Remember the last time you were head-over-heels about someone and did a bunch of stupid things you now wish you hadn’t? This time around you have an opportunity to do things differently: think it through. Something SEEMING perfect is a lot different from it actually BEING perfect.

Attract The Right Kind Of People

Starting off with “sexy” may seem like a smart move, but is that really how you want people to value you?
You are a human being, not a product in a display window. Don’t go out there trying to sell who you are.
Relax and know that there is enough love out there for all of us, plenty to go around and around. So smile! You don’t have to compete with anyone to come out a winner in this game. There’s plenty of love out there that everyone can win.
Put off that urge to merge until you’ve found out some vital things – what are this person’s relationship goals? Where do they see you fitting into that framework? Jumping into bed is not going to create a foundation if one wasn’t there to begin with.
You want to aim for a balance in the flow between give and take. You bring certain things to the party to offer; what does the other person bring? Knowing this right from the beginning can help you avoid a situation where you’re doing all the giving all the time, and they’re doing all the taking.
Aim to be with someone who likes the kind of person you really are. I used to think I would attract a greater number of people by trying to be what I thought people wanted, but the key to finding someone who fit me well was to embrace my true self, and let that shine through to attract the right person!

Be Your Best Self

Notice how you act and how you feel when you’re around the person you like. Do they bring out your best qualities, or do they bring out some strange things you don’t even recognize as being you? There are some subtle differences between excitement and fear. There’s a difference between feeling energized, invigorated and refreshed, as opposed to anxious, unsure, and insecure.
Safety and integrity are important – don’t compromise on your core values! Use your common sense and take care.

But the best thing I could ever say to you, the advice that will see you through every trial and tribulation, is the one you can start putting into practice today: Great relationships begin within!

One Way Successful Couples Make Love Last

Sarah Elizabeth Malinak — Sat, 19 Jun 2010 23:00:51 +0000

Waiting at my doctor’s office, I picked up the May 2010 issue of Reader’s Digest because Michael J. Fox was on the cover. Between Michael’s intellect and sense of humor, I can always count on not only enjoying his interviews, but I always come away from them enriched. The Reader’s Digest interview proved satisfying, as expected.

Of course, everything in Reader’s Digest is short and digestible. So out of just a few, brief paragraphs answering a question about the success of his marriage to actress Tracy Pollan, Michael gave me the following gem.

He said that the key to his marriage with Tracy “is the capacity to give each other a break. And to realize that it’s not how our similarities work together; it’s how our differences work together. You have to realize that someone can care for you and still not understand your every motive, emotion, need, and desire.”

Give Your Partner A Break

It’s a quality that can tear apart a relationship is unspoken expectations. Conversely, a quality that can build up a relationship is the ability to cut each other some slack as you come to appreciate how your differences work together.

I remember that as a young newlywed it sometimes seemed that the differences between my husband and me were evidence that 1) we might have made a mistake, 2) I might have made a mistake, 3) our differences were proof that our relationship wouldn’t make it, and 4) our differences were proof that there was something “wrong” with one or both of us. I suspect my husband experienced our differences in our early years as something that confirmed his sense of inadequacy. That is a heck of a lot to put on the differences between two lovers, but people do it all the time!

I think one of the expectations we come to new love with is that our beloved will always understand us, be able to anticipate our desires, meet our needs, and appreciate our motives. It’s fantastical thinking and in the very early days may actually seem true! When the chemistry is fresh, young lovers can magically read each other’s minds, confirming that moving forward with this stranger is a good idea. But the newness wears off as young lovers get to know each other and the chemistry unique to new love dissipates, taking the ability to read each other’s minds with it.

When Your Love Is Young

By the way, as I refer to “young lovers” in this article, I’m talking about the love between two people being young. I’m not referring to age. And the “chemistry” in the above paragraph isn’t a reference to science! It’s that succinct term we all use to refer to the magic of connection that happens between lovers.

If you think about it, chances are the couples you most admire are those who are made up of two people who are each comfortable in their own skin as well as comfortable in the “skin” of each other and the relationship. There is just something about couples who cut each other some slack that is comforting and sexy. I’m not talking about the kind of giving each other a break that will result in one of them being a doormat. I’m talking about two people who genuinely appreciate each other – even the differences between them.

When we appreciate our differences, we welcome the other’s person’s perspective as something that heightens our life experience. We know that our life is richer because of those differences.

For instance, in one couple you have a dominant personality and promoting personality wedded to each other. If they can appreciate and embrace their differences; then rather than driving each other crazy, the promoter brings a joie de vivre to the serious nature of the dominant one. And the dominant one helps keep the promoter honest.

Learn To Embrace Your Differences

Or if you have an analytical type wedded to a supportive type and they embrace their differences; then the supportive one helps the analytic relax and go with the flow while the analytic helps the supportive one consider multiple options when problem solving. These are broadly sweeping examples but the point is that our differences don’t have to be red flags that something is wrong. Instead, they can be spices that enrich the flavor of our relationships.

The next time the person you love most in the world makes you nuts with how they’re different from you, stop and consider how the difference enriches your life. If they’re different, they have something you lack. You chose them. Figure out how you benefit from this difference and try a little attitude adjustment. You just might find your attraction for him or her grows exponentially as a result, and with that the quality of your relationship as well!

Heart Smart Decisions – The Inner View

Maryanne Comaroto — Tue, 15 Jun 2010 23:00:31 +0000

Here’s something I say quite often: you must learn to use your head before you give up your body, so that you don’t break your heart. While it sounds simple and straightforward in theory, most of us only learn this lesson after getting our hearts broken again and again. The problem is that when infatuation kicks in, it’s a pretty strong magnet, and often we interpret it as a sign that our Happily Ever After is on its way into our hearts again. So in many ways, it is not the other person who breaks your heart, but rather yourself. Love is something that happens internally, inside yourself. You share that energy with the person you love, and when the energy changes back from a two-person entity to a one-person entity, the change is painful. So how can you avoid that?

Learn What You Want And What You Don’t Want

Well, you can’t. Not the answer you were hoping for? Unfortunately, that’s just something we all have to deal with, just like the sun rising and setting everyday. No matter how much you want it to stop, it won’t, and unless you’re going to spend your life chasing down crazy ways to try to get the sun to do your bidding (like so many of us do with love), then you’ll just need to learn to accept that heartache is a part of the process of learning what you want and what you don’t want.

In my case, I had plenty of opportunities to learn these things, over and over again. I felt like my heart had been snapped in two hundreds of times by love, and by men. I felt like I had nothing else to dream about or to aim for, and that every time I took a chance on love again, it would just end up in sadness and abandonment. So after a lot of soul-searching, I decided to stop looking for the magic perfect relationship, and start looking for what I really wanted instead: someone who would be true to me, who would not ignore me, who would not dispose of me, and who would treat me with the love and respect I deserved.

You Deserve Love And Respect

And after many years and lots of looking, I did finally find that love and respect. What was both frustrating and enlightening, though, was that it was right here tho whole time – inside of myself, in my own heart. I was looking for that true love in the arms of another; I was looking for it in the beds of men I thought would complete me. The big moment was when I realized that I’m already complete – this is the biggest lesson on the road to becoming heart-smart.

So, with that in mind, we can now aim to share ourselves selectively with others who have similar values, people who know that a healthy relationship includes not just attraction, but real compatibility and respect. It’s time to give up chasing the sun and concentrate on getting heart-smart!

Here are five tips to get you started:

1. Seek the higher truth – you may feel that true love is something “out there,” but you need to learn and accept that it’s inside of you.

2. Given that sex automatically leads to feelings of expectation and bonding, you need to take a step back and think before taking that giant leap forward.

3. Treat the true love inside yourself accordingly – don’t compromise your integrity, your desires, and especially your safety.

4. Remember that FEELING love and being with the right person are not necessarily the same thing. That feeling can steer you wrong if you’re not smart about it.

5. Your mind is your servant; use it to develop a habit of self-inquiry so that you can best serve your soul.

Unexpected Relationship Milestones

Andrew Wang — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 23:00:44 +0000

Meeting the parents. Engagement. Marriage. Home-buying. Having a baby. These are the turning points we think of when someone says, “relationship milestones.” However, there are other things that take place in the course of a relationship which can be considered smaller, but still important, milestones (or maybe just quarter-mile markers).

Combining Cell Phone Plans

Like it or not, most of us couldn’t live without our cell phones. It’s an important part of our day-to-day lives, something we won’t leave the house without. In a way, our phone number is an extension of our persona. When you combine cell phone plans with someone, you’re meshing your main mode of communication…and the service contract that goes with it. Once you agree to combine contracts, you are committing to stay with your partner for at least the next two years. Too early in a relationship and this can cause undue panic. It’s not buying a home or getting married, by any means. But it is a situation that makes you stop and take a moment to reflect on your relationship.

Borrowing Cars

Sure, married people do it all the time. They’re used to everything being “ours”—not “yours” or “mine”. Yet, the first time you use your partner’s car can be intimidating. Maybe your car is in the shop, or their car has 4-wheel drive and you are going to the mountains with friends. Simply asking someone to borrow his or her car can trigger anxiety. There is also your partner’s worry to consider: allowing someone to use your car sends a clear message, “I care about and trust you.” When your partner hands you the keys, they are putting an important part of their daily life in your hands. Just like with a cell phone, you’re stepping into your significant other’s zone. You’re going to change the mirrors, the seat, the steering wheel, and the radio station. Nothing says “ours” like changing someone’s radio presets.

Getting The Flu

The first time your partner hears you vomit is a special relationship moment. How will they react? How will you feel about it? When they get home from work, will they have the fortitude to help you get through the evening? You’ve been on the couch all day, only getting up to use the bathroom or take your medicine. Dirty and cranky—a good partner will overlook your condition and offer to make you some toast, while you muster up the energy to take a shower. Once you’ve made it through a virus with your significant other, you bond in a way that will prepare you for all kinds of future maladies.

Although these examples may not elicit the same responses from everyone, they are a small example of the kinds of things we all face when entering a serious relationship. While things like cell phone plans and apartment leases do speak to a certain level of commitment, they’re nothing to be panicked about. If you love someone enough to even be considering these steps, it’s probably a good sign that you’re headed in the right direction with the right person.

Falling In Love – How You Know She’s The One

Lee Jenkins — Fri, 11 Jun 2010 14:00:50 +0000

Falling in love is something that should come normally, but for some people it isn’t this simple. Loving someone requires a lot of perseverance and it’s not something you can do on a normal basis with just anyone. So how do you find the girl that’s best for you? First, you expose yourself to women by dating, attending parties and letting your friends introduce you to girls.

You don’t have to play the field, but you can be sociable enough so that you aren’t alone most of the time. Most guys buckle from pressure of being in a committed relationship, but only because they have not found the girl they will give up their independence for.

You Feel the Chemistry

Whether you’re just locking eyes or you’re exchanging a kiss, the atmosphere around you is explosive. Some men claim that they know they’ve found the woman they want to spend the rest of their life with after the first date, while some claim it took a while before they felt the magic. Regardless of how long you’ve known the girl, there will always be sparks when you exchange a kiss, a hug or you’re just talking on the phone. That’s called chemistry, or sexual tension, and that’s one indication that she’s the one.

She Likes The Whole Package

Have you ever felt the pressure to be someone you’re not when you’re out with a girl? Sometimes, it’s hardly your fault. You subconsciously know that the woman expects you to act like someone else, or her version of a Prince Charming. If this is the case with a girl, the relationship won’t progress. In fact, it might end abruptly when you can’t take the pressure anymore and act like your true self.

A girl who’s the right one for you can tolerate your brand of humor. She likes you even if you’re not trying your best to impress her.

She’s Looking At The Big Picture

One of the main indications that you’ve found a keeper is when she talks about the future with you comfortably and naturally. In the beginning of any relationship, it may seem like you mean the whole world to each other. You want so many things at once, that you feel like you’re rushing.

A girl who really loves you will look at the big picture and understand that you have your whole life together ahead of you. She won’t rush and push you into making haphazard decisions. She understands that you’re going through life at your own pace, and she’s ok with that.

It may seem difficult to find the “One” who can make you happy, but if you keep your hopes up and treat each date as special, you’re bound to find the girl of your dreams sooner than you think. Love is the sum total of different factors: her actions towards you and your reaction to her affection.

Q&A: Dating A Younger Man – Is It OK?

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 23 May 2010 18:31:21 +0000

A lot of peole have questions about age differences when dating. Is it ok to date a younger man or a younger woman? It depends. Sometimes age differences are a big deal and sometimes they’re not. Here’s how to know if the age difference between you and your beau is a big deal, and what you should do if it is.

Question: I’m 17 and have recently developed a crush on someone younger than me. He’s about 15. It sounds really bad when I think about it but he doesn’t look 14 or 15 at all. It’s not a serious crush but I like him enough to want to talk to him. He seems to act like he likes me, but I don’t really know if he does. Is it okay to date him even if he’s that young?

–YouTube Viewer

When Age Doesn’t Matter

When you and your partner are older, a large gap in age generally doesn’t matter. If you’re 65 and he’s 75, it’s not as big a deal than if you have a 10 year age gap with your partner when you’re younger. Smaller age gaps matter even less as you and your partner grow older. Age gaps when you are younger, however, matter a great deal not only because of legal issues but also because you and your partner are very different emotionally and mentally. Even a two year age difference in your teens can make a big difference in emotional maturity between you and your partner.

When Age Does Matter

Age differences matter a lot when you and your partner are young. For example, if your partner is 15 and you are 20 or even 25, age gaps are a big issue. Even small age gaps, such as your partner being 15 and you being 17 can be a problem. First, think about the legal issues that come up when you date a younger person, especially if you’re bordering on 17 or 18. The laws differ from state to state, but dating a younger person could get you slapped with a statutory rape charge even if you and your partner are only a year or two apart.

Dating Without Sex

If you really want to date someone younger than you, or if you’re the younger of the couple, you can still date – without sex. To avoid getting into trouble, simply focus on getting to know your partner. Go on group dates to the bowling alley or to the movies, or go out to dinner together. Talk about your favorite things, things that mean a lot to you and encourage your partner to do the same. Really get to know each other to find out if you really want to take this relationship to the next level when you and your partner are old enough to legally be intimate with each other. Remember that there are more ways to be close to someone than through sex. Hold hands, hug and cuddle with each other without having sex. Nowadays, even sexting and sending naked pictures of yourself to your partner’s phone can get you into trouble if your partner is under 18, so be extremely careful. Practice patience until legally, you’re both ready.

Q&A: How To Cope With A Long Distance Relationship

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 22 May 2010 18:19:43 +0000

Long distance relationships are on of the hardest things to handle when you find someone you’re really into. If they’re moving away or you are, or if they’re in the military, facing being away from your partner for an extended period of time is nerve wracking. How can you make the most of your long distance relationship?

Question: Dan and Jen, I really need your help! I’ve found the most amazing guy, and we are currently in a serious relationship. The problem is that he’s in the Navy, and will be shipped out in only a month and a half! He keeps assuring me that he’ll never let me go, but it frightens me we might ‘slip apart’. Do you know how I can cope with him leaving?

–YouTube Viewer

Stay In Contact Any Way You Can

In this day in age, it’s easier than ever to keep in contact with someone over long distances. Cell phones with text, picture and video capabilities will help you feel connected to your partner when you’re away from him physically. Send him a picture of you at the movies that says “wish you were here” or “thinking of you.” Videotape important moments and send them to him. You can also use video chat and instant messaging on your computer to have longer conversations that can even seem like you’re together in the same room. You can also use cell phones, text and video chat to keep each other as sexually satisfied as possible with racy emails or dirty sexts.

Communicate With Each Other

Being completely open and honest with each other at all times during the long distance relationship is absolutely essential to keeping the relationship stable. Often, keeping things from your partner or even telling little white lies can snowball and create a big rift between you and your partner. Tell your partner how you’re feeling and encourage him to do the same. Talk about how you’re going to handle it when the need for physical contact arises and you two aren’t together. Talk about how you can make the situation temporary and make plans in the long term to eventually be together in the same place.

See Him As Often As Possible

One of the biggest reasons that a long distance relationship don’t work out is that it can be difficult for one or both partners to make plans to see each other in person very often. Take some time to try to work out how often you and your partner can feasibly travel to see each other and try to make plans to do so as much as you can. Physical contact – with or without sex – is an important part of keeping the flame alive in your relationship. If you and your partner don’t make the effort to see each other over several months, it makes it easier for you and your partner to start drifting apart. With time, effort and honest communication, you and your partner can make the long distance relationship work until you can have a real relationship with each other.

Q&A: Relationship Trouble – Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 11 May 2010 14:00:53 +0000

Relationship problems can come in a variety of forms, and they differ greatly from relationship to relationship. Some relationship troubles can be worked out, but other, more serious issues can pave the way to a breakup. How do you know if your relationship problems can be fixed or if you just need to walk away?

Question: Hi Dan and Jenn. I need help with my relationship. I have a big problem with my boyfriend. We’ve been together over a year now and the problem we have is getting worse. I’ve told him how I feel and how much what he does hurts me and makes me feel insignificant, and when he says he’ll stop it, he does it again and again. The three main problems are:
1. He doesn’t talk or text for long periods of time because he’s too busy playing computer games.
2. He regularly shouts over top of me or interrupts me when I’m speaking, whether it’s a serious situation or not. I can be crying my eyes out talking to him and he will still do it.
3. Finally, he sometimes shouts at me, and not just raising his voice, he really shouts loudly, my parents worry about it and ask if I’m okay, and it honestly does frighten me sometimes.

–YouTube Viewer

He Won’t Change

If you’ve talked to your partner about the behavior that bothers you, especially if you’ve mentioned it more than once and communicated to him clearly how you feel, and he refuses to change, it’s time to consider the fact that he probably won’t ever change. You can’t force someone to change their behavior, you can only talk to them about how it affects you and hope that they see how much better the relationship can be if they change their ways. If he won’t change, the only thing you can do is change yourself. You can change how you react to his behavior, but stop and think before you do. Do you want to be ignoring his behavior forever?

Respect Yourself

An abusive relationship isn’t always one where one partner physically hits another. A lot of abuse is verbal and emotional. If you stay in an abusive relationship – no matter what kind of abuse you’re living with – you’re doing yourself a disservice and disrespecting yourself. Many times, if your partner can’t or won’t change his ways, you’ve got to take a stand for yourself. If he won’t respect you, you have to respect you – or who will? Don’t rely on other people to treat you with respect. Treat yourself with respect and don’t stand for any kind of abuse, be it physical, sexual or verbal and emotional.

You Deserve A Happy Relationship

No matter what you think or what your partner may tell you, you absolutely deserve a relationship that makes you happy. If you aren’t happy with who you’re with now, it’s time to find someone you are happy with. Life is too short and your time is too precious to spend it being unhappy with someone who refuses to respect you and be respectful to you. While no man can “make” you happy, you don’t have to be miserable with someone who treats you poorly. If your current relationship isn’t giving you what you want, it’s time to walk away. Take some time and think about what you do want in a relationship and start looking for that.

Q&A: Personal Question For Dan & Jennifer – Why Do You Make All These Videos?

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 14:00:52 +0000

While we don’t talk much about ourselves on our show, lots of people ask us personal questions about why we do what we do. Making an online video show and working to help millions of people with love, sex and relationship questions is simply something we love to do and we do it every day. Here’s why we’re passionate about it.

Question: Dear Dan and Jenn – why do you make all these videos and help out people? Good job and keep it up!

–YouTube Viewer

Our Passion

We love to help people find happiness in their relationships and their lives. Everyone deserves to be happy, and everyone is worth it! People struggle every day to find answers to questions about love, sex and relationships and we’re trying to make it easier for everyone to find the information they’re looking for. We believe strongly in making informed decisions and being armed with knowledge when it comes to making choices in your every day life. We believe in safe sex and open and honest sex education. We’re passionate about helping people to solve problems in their lives and learn the tools they need for healthy, happy and satisfying relationships.

Our New Video Shows

We love what we do so much that we’ve started two new video shows and websites this year! We’ve had so much success in developing the Ask Dan And Jennifer website that we wanted to create a site that shows people step by step how to create a powerful and successful online blog the way we did. Blog Success Journal is where we give tips, tricks and advice on everything blog and recommend the tools that we’ve used and love so other people can learn how to set up their own blog or website. The second website we’ve launched this year is Today Is That Day. We found that we enjoyed helping people so much with their questions about sex and relationships that we realized we wanted to answer other questions too! On Today Is That Day, we answer questions about weight loss, personal improvement and self awareness and growth.

Our Opinions

We’re not doctors and we’re not therapists. We’re highly opinionated people who love to talk! We love hearing the opinions of others, too. Our online video show allows us to share our opinions with others as well as see what other people have to say about the topic we’re talking about. We love to get people talking with each other too, because our motto is, “question everything!” We believe it’s important to think about something and question it instead of just accepting it because it’s what you were taught or what you heard. We love it when people ask questions, because it means they’re thinking and trying to get some real answers for themselves.

Check out our YouTube channel to watch our latest videos, and be sure to leave a comment about what you think! You can also visit our Facebook page to see what other people are saying about our latest articles, tips and videos. Get in on the discussion!

How About A Greater Tomorrow Right Now?

Maryanne Comaroto — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 22:00:02 +0000

When we fall in love, we fall hard, and it seems to do something to our brains. We start out as reasonable, sensible people who act accordingly, and then all of a sudden we get hypnotized by this other person, and all reason and sense gets thrown away. Next thing we know, we’re bending our values and boundaries around to accommodate what we think this other person wants us to be, and then at some point when the dust of reconstruction settles, we’re left wondering which dumpster it was where we discarded ourselves.

While it’s interesting to sit and wonder, you’re probably busy trying to get back some of your freedom, so that you can take a step toward the future where you can feel good about who you are and find a good relationship. Instead of waiting for all that to happen then, here’s some advice to start living that greater tomorrow now.

Dear Maryanne,

“Should I just give up on him? My best friend and I have always been close. We always opened up to each other, and the way we act towards each other is, well, different. But there’s one catch–he’s gay. I decided to tell him how I felt, anyways. And guess what! He loves me too, ‘so much,’ and he couldn’t imagine never talking to me ever again. I’m his best friend.

So I realized he didn’t understand that much yet, and I decided to wait. But then one night came and something happened, he felt like no one loved or cared about him, so I opened up fully to him. I guess my friend talked to him, too, since he told me that she said we should both be together. I replied back telling him whatever he wants to do, it’s his choice. His answer was, ‘But I have a boyfriend.’

As long as he’s happy, I guess I’m happy too, right? I don’t want to be selfish. I always helped them whenever they had troubles, and not once did I ever tell his boyfriend what he did (he cheats).

Now I don’t know anymore. Like I said, he was gay. But later on, he said he’s getting to the point where it seems like gender doesn’t matter anymore. Today, he told me about this girl. And how he felt like he caused her brain cancer, and that he loved her. I didn’t know what to say, I wanted to help but I was too depressed. Lately I’ve been having no feelings whatsoever. If I smile, it only lasts for a couple of minutes. I barely laugh anymore. The only emotions I receive are depression and anger.

I just don’t really know what to do anymore. At times he would say the sweetest things, like how most guys would tell the girls they love most? But then later it’s as if that never happened. I’m starting to believe he doesn’t understand, and he doesn’t feel the same exact way. And me holding onto him is just hurting me even more. I don’t know what to do anymore.

- Julie (15, Denton, Texas, USA)

Dear Julie,

I think you made a very astute observation: “me holding onto him is just hurting me even more.” I think you should definitely take your own advice on this one, put a stop to the fruitless waiting right now, today, and start getting on with healing yourself and preparing yourself to be ready for a healthy relationship with someone who can love you back in the way you love them. You already know that your best friend is never going to be what you want him to be (i.e. a straight man), and so every moment that you continue to wait for the impossible to happen is just one more step into self-delusion. Keeping yourself trapped in a dead end also prevents you from being emotionally available to explore other things, like loving yourself and finding out who you really are.

Letting go is painful, but that pain is temporary, unlike the endless pain you’re suffering now by hanging onto him. When you allow yourself to let go, you’re also opening yourself up to love again. And it will happen, but the great thing is that next time you’ll be able to choose someone who can love you back equally, in a situation where both of you are able to celebrate your true selves.

Q&A: Jealousy Over Past Lovers

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 14:00:37 +0000

When your new boyfriend or girlfriend keeps talking about their exes, it can be frustrating. Why can’t they just get over it already? If your partner is talking about their ex a lot, it can cause feelings of jealousy and even anger. Here’s what you can do if your partner just won’t stop going on about their past relationships.

Question: What do I do if my girlfriend keeps talking about her ex-boyfriends? It’s making me really jealous and kind of angry. I don’t know how to calm down! Help me please!

–YouTube Viewer

How Is She Talking About Her Exes?

Your partner can talk about her exes one of two ways. She can either diss them or talk about how great those past relationships were. If your partner talks about how frustrating it was to be with her exes (and how great it is to be with you) she may just need a sounding board to help her get over the past pain of rejection and hurt. Be there for her until she gets it all out of her system. However, it’s a bit of a different story if your partner is talking about how great her previous boyfriends were and comparing them to you. That hurts!

She’s Chosen You

When you get frustrated with your partner because they’re constantly talking about their ex partners and old relationships, take a moment to remember that she’s with you now. Those relationships are in the past and she has chosen to be with you right now. Every day, each of you makes a choice to continue to be with the other person and stay in the relationship. Remember that she chooses to be with you and stay with you every day for a reason. It’s most likely because she cares about you and enjoys being in this relationship.

Let Her Know How You Feel

If your partner is always talking about how great her past relationships were or how great her ex boyfriends were, it can really cut deep. It’s not okay to be comparing your past boyfriends to your current one out loud, because it can definitely do some relationship damage. Let your partner know how you feel by being honest with them, without being rude. She honestly may not know that her talking about her exes bothers you! Talk to her about how it makes you feel when she talks about her exes and ask her to stop doing it. If you aren’t honest with your partner about how you feel about the situation, you’re just going to sock back anger until you finally blow up at her. Don’t risk ruining the relationship like that. Take some time to really explain to your partner what it does to you emotionally when she goes on and on about her past relationships and ask her to let go of the past. Let her know that you and her are together now and this relationship is the one both of you should be focusing on, instead of staying caught up in past relationships and ex boyfriends.

I Could Have Told You So!

Sarah Elizabeth Malinak — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 21:00:38 +0000

By the time this is published, I’ll be out of the woods. You see, my husband and I are in the middle of a situation created by the differences between the sexes, and my goal is to refrain from making this particular difference an issue. I so want to point out an oversight he’s made! But that is exactly what would make this particular difference an issue. So, I figured I’d write about it instead.

So here’s what’s going on. To set this up, I need to tell you that my husband and I work together from home. We have separate offices and actually spend a lot of time apart but are mostly just a few steps away from each other. With our lifestyle we get a lot of quality time together. It also means that we like to go out for lunch regularly in order to connect as a couple, rather than as business partners.

Beginning the day after tomorrow, we have commitments that will require a four-day separation. It means that tomorrow is our last day to have lunch together before we go four days hardly seeing each other. I was looking forward to having him to myself tomorrow at lunch. I was also looking forward to lunch with him my first day back.

With two phone calls this afternoon, he arranged for us to have lunch with his son tomorrow and he arranged to have lunch with a friend on my first day back. You’re probably saying, “What is the big deal?” Well, it isn’t a big deal. But it became an opportunity for me to NOT give him a hard time about not seeing the big picture.

The Difference Between Men And Women

That’s the difference between the sexes that we are caught in at the moment. As a woman, I see the big picture and I’ve been making plans around the big picture for weeks! As a man, he is very focused and efficient. The difference means he is missing the opportunity for two separate romantic encounters – the “good-bye” lunch and the “I’m home” lunch.

So, I made the decision that without bitterness, pettiness, or hurt feelings I would leave this alone. I would not point out to him the “mistake” he made. Nor, on the other end of it, when he’s hurting as much as I am that he added more separateness to a time of separation, will I point out to him that he made a “mistake.” To be perfectly clear, I twice put the word mistake in quotes because no mistake has been made. There is absolutely no value distinction between seeing the big picture verses being focused and efficient. Rather, it’s a difference in perspective that can sometimes be beneficial and other times drive a couple crazy – that’s all.

With the exception of the relief that writing this article gives me, I choose to let it go. I can promise you that the marital bliss will be great and far superior to the short lived thrill of being able to say, “I could have told you so.”

Embrace The Difference Between The Sexes

Let me share with you those rewards. If I keep my cool and refuse to let this situation hurt my feelings, I will experience his missing me, which is flattering. I will experience his longing for me, which is also flattering but, more importantly, his longing for me will deepen my yearning for him. When we finally have the time to be alone, conversation will be deep and meaningful as we share our experiences born of the recent separation and our lovemaking will be fun and especially satisfying!

Do you see? There is so much more satisfaction awaiting me by allowing, even embracing, this particular expression of the differences between the sexes. Your relationship is a daily laboratory for growing more love when you take potential problems and turn them into opportunities instead.

Next time you find yourself caught in the battle of the sexes, try slowing down to find the opportunity in it. The pay off could be delightful!

Dating And Mating Like A Rich Person – Without Spending A Penny!

Maryanne Comaroto — Sat, 10 Apr 2010 21:00:32 +0000

There are so many expenses tied to relationships and dating. Pretty much everything you do when you’re dating someone costs money. Meals, movie tickets, concert tickets, gas, new clothes, even hotels and plane tickets – it all adds up. And of course there’s the gifts to think about… lots and lots of expensive gifts.

And as you stay with someone longer and longer, their financial obligations seem to become as much your issue as theirs. You pay off your lover’s credit card so that they can relax and be happy. You help them with their rent, or child support payments, or even paying their taxes. And yet, so very few of us invest time in the one place that would probably help us salvage our souls – the therapist’s office!

Find Out Who Your Partner Really Is

Believe it or not, most relationships hit their high point after only six weeks. Once you’ve played your hand, slowly laying down your cards via texting, sex chat, perhaps even some real contact, and lots of insecurity, this person will eventually learn that you are only human, not the fantasy being they had imagined you to be, and the downward spiral begins. That is, if you don’t find out who they really are first and make the first move toward the door.

I was thinking that what would be ideal is if we formed our fantasies (and thus our search for reality) not based on bank balances or dress sizes, but on who people really are on the inside. That in itself may seem like a fantasy, but this is the millennium where things are really starting to turn around for us. More and more people are waking up and becoming self-aware, letting that higher consciousness override the biological drive to go all the way with the first mate that seems halfway reasonable. Our advantage over primates is that we have this inner ability to examine and contemplate our actions, to think about consequences before heading down the road that leads to disaster, and to have the freedom to choose not to take that road.

Stop Playing The Blame Game

This means we have the opportunity to turn humanity into something more evolved. Life is a gift, but it’s also a responsibility. For the first time, I’m really starting to be able to imagine a world in which we embrace this personal responsibility and let go of our blame game. We can choose to do the things that serve us well, and more importantly, choose not to do the things that damage us and damage others. We can stop looking outward for the answers, and turn within to find the contentment and bliss we are looking for. Gone will be the days when penises were said to rule men, and women were said to be slaves to PMS. We will no longer blame Mother Nature for our indiscretions – we will follow in the footsteps of those who dedicated their lives to following their true selves!

Love Doesn’t Cost A Thing

So, what does any of this have to do with the rituals of dating like a rich person? When you finally see the answer, you’ll wonder how you never noticed it before, even though it’s always been there before your eyes. The secret to dating and mating like you’re rich is to accept the truth that you are a unique expression of the divine, and you are the most valuable possession you will ever have. Your true affection is neither bought nor sold with money or desperate acts. You do not have anything to prove in order to deserve love, or to give love. The only person you need to love is yourself, and then send yourself out there to collide with the person who is the right match for your gift of love! And best of all, this happy ending comes at no cost to you whatsoever. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Great relationships begin within! If you want a guide on how to start this wonderful, loving relationship with yourself, and how to start down the road to ultimate awareness and higher consciousness, get a copy of Hindsight, What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers today!

Q&A: What’s The Best Way To Break Up?

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 08 Apr 2010 21:00:20 +0000

Breaking up is tough, regardless of whether you’re on the breaking up end or the being broken up with end. Deciding to end a relationship isn’t an easy decision but figuring out how to break the news to your partner is even more difficult. What is the best way to break up with someone without breaking their heart?

Question: I’m currently with a guy a year younger than me, and I just don’t click with him. He says he’s in love with me, but I think we’re too young to know what love is. I feel like he’s expressed too much too soon. And since I don’t want to lie to him, I’m breaking up with him. I’m just not sure how. What’s the easiest, least mean way to break up with a man who says he loves you? Please help me.

–YouTube Viewer

Sooner Rather Than Later

When breaking up with someone, the worst thing you can do is drag it out. When you make the final decision to break up with your partner or divorce them, make immediate plans to break up with them soon. Don’t continue leading them on and making them believe you’re still an active participant in the relationship because you’re scared to break up with them or aren’t sure how you’re going to do it.

Make The Breakup About You

If you’re positive that you want to break up with your partner, you need to make the break up discussion all about you. Make it about your feelings. If you make the break up about things your partner isn’t doing or circumstances that you’re not happy with, your partner will immediately suggest that things can change. They will do everything they can to convince you to stay in the relationship by promising that things will be different. Your partner can’t argue with your feelings though, so keeping the discussion about how you feel keeps the break up a break up. Be honest with your partner, and while you want to be courteous and polite instead of critical, it’s never good to sugar coat something or lie to make them feel better. Honesty is always the best policy when it comes to breaking up with someone.

A Learning Experience

While you may be tempted to feel like you’ve wasted your time being with someone you’re not going to stay with, it’s important to remember that each relationship is a learning experience. Relationships – and break ups – allow us to grow as a person. Be grateful for the time that you and your partner had together because not all of it was bad. If it was, you wouldn’t have made the decision to be with them in the first place. Take this opportunity to learn from the relationship and better yourself. It’s important that you realized your right to be happy and that you don’t have to stay with someone and be unhappy just because you don’t want to hurt them. It’s time to move forward with your life and everything that happened in this relationship will make the next relationship even better.

Q&A: Long Distance Sex Toys – a.k.a. Teledildonics

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 14:00:37 +0000

With long distance relationships, one of the toughest obstacles is feeling physically intimate with your partner. Fortunately, with the advance of webcams and voice chat, you can feel like you’re in the same room as your partner! Here’s the newest technology for long distance sex toys, also known as teledildonics.

Question: Hey Dan and Jenn! Firstly, thanks for answering my last question. I’m in a long distance relationship at the moment – I’m in Denmark and my boyfriend is in Turkey. Our relationship is great and we fulfill our needs over webcam often, but I was wondering if there was any remote control sex toys that could work over that distance? I could send it to him and give him control over my sexual pleasure! I love your show and you both have always been very helpful to me, so thanks and have a wonderful day!

–YouTube Viewer

Advances In Sex Toy Technology

While remote control vibrators have been around for awhile, teledildonics hasn’t. Remote control vibrators are usually battery powered, and the remote has a very short receiving distance. These types of vibrators are great for spicing up sex play in the bedroom (or another room) with your partner but have no real application for long distance relationships. Teledildonics, on the other hand, allow partners over long distances to control each other’s sex toys over the Internet. Imagine being able to give your partner an orgasm from thousands of miles away!

Teledildonic Sex Toys For Her

In the future, we will see more options available for teledildonic sex toys, but right now the best toy out there for her is an Internet enabled rabbit vibrator. The rabbit vibrator is one of the most popular vibrators available for women, allowing for penetration, g-spot stimulation and clitoral tickling all in one. The Internet enabled rabbit allows your partner to control your vibrator from wherever he is. He can choose when to tickle your clit, when to stimulate your g-spot and how hard or fast he wants it to go. With this teledildonic sex toy, your orgasm is completely in the hands of your partner! This is an excellent option for couples in long distance relationships or those where one or both partners are away on business often.

Teledildonic Sex Toys For Him

The Real Touch teledildonic masturbator is one of the most revolutionary male masturbators available on the market. This device is designed to be used in conjunction with adult videos, and uses USB technology to sync the motions of the Real Touch with what the adult video star is doing onscreen. The Real Touch offers gentle heat to simulate natural body heat and a lubricant dispenser to mimic the way a woman’s vagina will lubricate itself during sex. While the Real Touch device can be somewhat difficult to clean as it cannot be submerged in water or placed in your dishwasher, many men will enjoy the ability to masturbate completely hands free. This is an excellent teledildonic sex toy for long distance relationships, but it can also be used by any man who wants a revolutionary masturbatory experience.

Q&A: Long Distance Relationship – I Cheated! Now What?

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 05 Apr 2010 14:00:12 +0000

Long distance relationships are hard on both people. While it’s easy to communicate with each other via phone, text, chat or video cam, what lacks in a long distance relationship is physical intimacy. Humans crave physical intimacy, and many people in long distance relationships become unfaithful because they simply need to be touched. Here’s how to handle long distance relationship infidelity.

Question: I’m in a serious relationship with my current boyfriend. The thing is, I’m here in the US and he’s in England. It wasn’t always like that, we were physically together not too long ago. Anyway, in his absence I’ve been unfaithful and now I feel really guilty and bad about it. He doesn’t know, and I’m wondering if I should I tell him? And if so, should I wait until we meet up again or through the Internet medium?

–YouTube Viewer

Was It A One Time Affair?

Many people make the mistake of having an affair without planning it first. Most of the time, it is an unexpected, spur of the moment decision that may even have been influenced by alcohol or other substances. Many people who have an affair don’t ever plan on doing it again. Do you fall into this category? If so, it may not be as big of a deal as you’re making it out to be. Everyone makes mistakes and often under the duress of a long distance relationship, an accidental affair can occur. However, if you planned the affair or have had multiple affairs, you need to stop and think about the fact that long distance relationships may not be something you can commit to.

Honesty Is The Best Policy

When it comes to telling your long distance partner about your infidelity, it is never wise to keep it a secret. Honesty is always the best policy in this situation. While you may want to wait until you and your partner are face to face to tell them what happened, you’ll be living a lie until you do. Buck up and talk to your partner about it over the phone. An actual phone conversation about it is much better and more personal then a webcam chat or even a text. Let your partner know ahead of time that you want to talk about something important so they can set aside enough time to have the conversation with you. This is not something you want to surprise them with when they’re with their buddies or doing errands.

Can You And Your Partner Move Past This, Or Is It Time To Move On?

Talk to your partner and assess how they feel about the situation. If it was a one time mistake that can be prevented in the future, ask your partner if they’re willing to forgive you and continue the relationship after the affair. If you’re truly struggling with the lack of physical intimacy in the relationship so much so that you’re going out and seeking physical intimacy from others, consider moving on from the relationship and dating someone closer to home. Ask your partner how they would like to handle the situation. If you and your partner want to continue the relationship, it would be wise to do your best to make physical intimacy between the two of you possible as much as you can.

Q&A: Is It Good To Be Over-Protective of My Partner?

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 01 Apr 2010 14:00:56 +0000

Sometimes in relationships one partner becomes overprotective or even controlling. This can wreak havoc on a relationship, because more often than not, the partner being “protected” doesn’t want to be nor do they need to be. If you’re an overprotective or controlling partner, how can you overcome it?

Question: Every time I leave my girlfriend to let her go home it makes me worry about her constantly. You could say that I’m over protective. I would like to know if it’s it good to be over protective?

–YouTube Viewer

Is Your Partner Really Unsafe?

Some people have had some sort of trauma in their past or even a bad relationship that causes them to be overprotective of their next partner. They maybelieve their partner is truly unsafe. Most of the time, however, your partner isn’t unsafe and doesn’t need protecting. Calling them all the time when they’re out, asking where they were or who they were with and keeping tabs on them isn’t going to make them any safer, it’s going to make them angry and frustrated. Take a look at your situation and ask yourself, if your partner is really in danger or not. Chances are, they’re not.

Are You A Control Freak?

Many people prefer to be in control in different situations, and others like to be in control of every situation. If your partner likes to go out on their own, you may feel anxious or upset at not being able to be in control of what happens when your partner is gone. Calling or texting your partner a lot while they’re out, grilling them about what they did or even giving them a “curfew” can help you feel like you’re back in control of the situation. Unfortunately, while you may feel less anxious by being able to keep tabs on your partner, they’re going to be upset with you for not feeling like they have freedom in their own situations. They may also feel like you don’t trust them.

Overcoming The Need To Feel In Control

Being a control freak or feeling the need to be in control of almost every situation isn’t healthy. It’s definitely something you want to try to overcome. Having the need to feel in control of everything can cause problems in your relationships, and even end them. Many a relationship have ended because one partner is controlling or too overprotective of the other. Think about why you feel the need to be in control or be protective of your partner, and try to figure out the root of the problem. Try to learn to relax a little bit when your partner goes out and resist the urge to call all the time or give them a certain time to be home or check in with you. You’ll find that your partner will most likely come home safe and sound, and will be relieved that you weren’t keeping tabs on them. You can overcome being a control freak on your own, but it never hurts to seek counseling so you can have someone to talk it through with.

Questions To Ask Yourself When Thinking About Getting Married

Andrew Wang — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 21:00:49 +0000

Marriage is about taking a relationship to the next—and final—step. From here on, you will need to take another person into consideration with every major decision (and many minor ones, too). If you want to move, leave your job, go back to school, buy a couch, take a vacation…on all of these things, you will need to consult and compromise. It is not just about committing yourself to another person and declaring your ever-lasting love. Rather, it is also about creating a life together—one which absorb your current way of living and thinking. So, are you ready for it?

Are You Okay With Supporting Her If Something Happened?

Right now, you only need to worry about yourself. However, after getting married, what if she lost her job? Are you willing to financially support her, take care of her until she is back on her feet? You cannot be greedy with your money when another person is depending on you. More important than money, though, what if she were in an accident and could no longer feed herself or use the bathroom alone? Are you up for the possibility of really having to tend for another person in the event of a life-changing event?

Do You Agree About Major Topics?

Some things simply cannot be negotiated. You may want kids, but she does not. How do you compromise on such a huge issue? Simply put, you don’t. While minor stuff, like who does what chore, can be discussed and argued. But make sure you are on the same track about such issues as children, finances, religion, or sex.

Do You Communicate And Solve Problems Well?

Again and again, good communication is slated as the way to make a marriage last. Do you feel like you can talk about anything together, like you can handle anything when you work together? You must be willing to confide in this person, to share what is bothering you. Otherwise, the drift between you will grow with each year that passes and more words go unspoken.

Does She Know All Of Your Secrets?

It can be hard to take that step in revealing all the embarrassing things they may do when alone or dastardly events in your past about which few people may know. Even simple admissions like how much debt you owe. Are you comfortable sharing this information with her? Is there anything she isn’t comfortable telling you, in return?

Do You Think It Will Last?

This may seem like a no-brainer, but surprisingly, I have heard many people say something along these lines: “everyone needs a starter marriage,” usually followed by a shrug. If you don’t plan to have this relationship last forever, why bother at all? Put that time and energy towards finding the one with whom you do see yourself growing old.

Q&A: What’s Your Most Humorous Sexual Experience?

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 14:00:56 +0000

One of the great things about sex is that not only can it be amazing and rock your world, but it can also put you in some of the most awkward and humourous situations you’ve ever been in. Popular magazines like Cosmopolitan and Redbook often publish funny sex stories sent in by readers because almost everyone has had a hilarious sexcapade. What’s yours?

Question: Dan and Jenn, I have a personal question for you. What’s your most humorous sexual experience?

–YouTube Viewer

Getting Caught

For many people, getting caught in the act is probably one of the most embarrassing – and funniest – things that can happen when having sex. Whether you’ve decided to camp out in the back seat of your car in a remote location under the stars and get busted by the cops or get caught while stealing a quickie at your parents’ house while staying over for the holidays, getting caught having sex by someone else just might end up being your best funny sex story ever.

Awkward Moments

As fun and delicious as sex can be, sometimes our bodies don’t realize we’re trying to be passionate and there can definitely be some awkward moments during sex. They might be mortifying at the time, but you’ll almost always end up laughing at it later. Have you ever been masturbating or having sex and semen didn’t exactly go where you meant for it to go? Or have you tried to have sex with your partner when you made the mistake of eating bean burritos at your favorite mexican restaurant for lunch? Some of the most embarrassing sex stories are also the most hilarious!

Animal Love

Sometimes, it’s not just other people who catch us in the act, it’s our beloved pets too. Whether you’ve forgotton to put your dog outside while doing the deed and he starts getting friendly with your partner’s leg that is hanging off the bed or your cat keeps jumping up on the bed and insists on getting petted while you’re trying to get busy, or pets can make for some funny sex stories too. Just make sure any pet tarantulas, snakes and lizards don’t get out or you might end up with more than you bargained for.

A Visit To The ER

Some people’s sex snafus have actually landed them in the ER, making for even more embarrassing yet hilarious sex stories. You know it’s funny when the entire emergency room department is laughing with you! Ever heard of vaginal muscles gripping so hard that he couldn’t get it out and the two had to be separated by medical staff? How about a couple having sex at grandma’s and mistaking nitroglycerin cream for lube and having to be hauled to the ER unconscious – and frozen in the act – after passing out?

While most sex stories begin with feelings of embarassment, most of the time they get laughed at later. If you have a funny sex story to share, visit our YouTube page and leave a comment! We want to hear about it!

Q&A: How Do I Move On From My Recent Break Up?

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 14:00:20 +0000

Breaking up with someone you’ve been with for a long time is devestating, and the idea that you’re going to eventually get over them seems near impossible. But it is possible to get over them, if you give yourself enough time. Here’s how you can move on after a breakup and begin having a satisfying, happy and fulfilling life again.

Question: Me and my girlfriend just broke up about 3 weeks ago. We’ve been going out for about 2 years. But even after 3 weeks I still miss her and I am still having trouble. I go out with friends a lot and I socialize as much as possible! But I still can’t get her out of my head and get out of my depressions that come and go. I just feel like something’s missing. What is some advice in helping me to get over her and move on?

–YouTube Viewer

Give Yourself Plenty Of Time

Many people expect themselves to get over a breakup within just a few weeks, but they find that they’re still stuck in a breakup rut after that and can’t get out of it. They get angry or upset with themselves, or wonder if there’s something wrong with them because they haven’t moved on yet. Don’t worry! It takes time to get over someone you were with for a long time and move on from the break up. Make sure you are giving yourself enough time to truly move on. You’ll notice that over the course of the next several weeks and even the next few months that you start to feel better and are beginning to focus more on things that make you happy and fulfilled. Don’t short yourself on the time you need to really get over y0ur ex.

Consider Counseling

Going to counseling after a break up doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you or that you have a mental disease. It simply means you want to talk to someone openly about what you’re going through with someone who has the experience to teach you the tools you need to have to move on with your life. Consider going to counseling for a short period of time if you’re having some trouble getting back into the groove of things after your break up, or simply just want to talk to someone. Often, talking to your friends or family about the break up is counterproductive. You may feel better for getting it off your chest, but they’re not going to give you any information in return that will help you continue to move on.

Start Dating Again When You’re Really Ready

While the saying “there’s plenty fish in the sea” is cliche, it’s absolutely true. Remember that the person you broke up with isn’t the only person on Earth that you can have a good, fulfilling relationship with. There are lots of people out there that you can have fun with, and others that you can share a deeper connection with. Start dating again after the break up when you’re ready, but only when you’re really ready. Again, don’t short yourself on the time you need to heal but don’t give up on dating just because it didn’t work out this time. You can have a satisfying relationship with someone else, or just a fun friendship if you want. Get back in the swing of things when you’ve had enough time time to move on from the break up.

Q&A: The Other Woman – Is It Love or Curiosity?

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 26 Mar 2010 14:00:12 +0000

For women, dating men that have many friends of the opposite sex can be stressful. Finding out that your partner is starting to have romantic feelings for one of his female friends is nothing less than emotionally devestating. Can you chalk it up to being typical male sexual curiousity, or is there something more going on there?

Question: My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years. We never fight, have a great sex life & love each other very much. However, recently, he has been chatting with one of his female online friends more and more and he admitted that he might have feelings for her, but he really loves me and is feeling confused. I am the first woman he was with sexually, and I think that this might be curiosity manifesting itself. We’ve been talking about this very openly, but I find it increasingly difficult to cope with. Should I wait and see what happens with this, or should we take a break from the relationship and give each other space to figure out what we want?

–YouTube Viewer

Exploring His Options

If your partner is beginning to have feelings for someone else, it’s not something he needs to deny or run away from. He needs to be honest with you and honest with himself so that he can start to explore those feelings. If your partner just denies his feelings to himself or to you, it will only serve to exaggerate his feelings and the situation. Once he really begins to examine those feelings, he may find that they fade away quickly.

What Is Missing In Your Relationship?

Often, men who start having feelings for someone else outside the relationship are only doing so because something they want or need is missing inside the relationship. It might be incredibly emotionally difficult to take this situation and use it to take a look at yourself and the relationship, but it’s something you need to do if you want to find out the root behind his feelings for this other person. Talk to your partner, and be open and honest with them. Ask that they do the same for you. Is there something that he feels is lacking in his relationship with you? Is he feeling connected to you emotionally, spiritually, mentally and sexually? If not, it could be why he’s looking in the other direction – she may have something to offer him that you don’t. Instead of getting angry about it, take the opportunity to start giving him what he needs.

Is It An Online Fantasy?

While online dating is an excellent way to meet people, it definitely lacks when it comes to building a relationship with someone over the Internet. It’s difficult to really get to know someone online, and our brains tend to fill in what we don’t know about this person with “plausible” ideas. Essentially, you end up thinking you know someone you’ve met online but in reality, you’re having a relationship with a fantasy person. If your partner starts getting to know someone online and starts having feelings for them, they may actually just be having feelings for a fantasy – because it’s more likely that who he thinks this person is isn’t who they really are.

Are You Ready To Be Monogamous?

Andrew Wang — Thu, 25 Mar 2010 14:00:54 +0000

You have met the kind of girl with whom you could settle…but does that mean you are actually ready to settle down? We all assume that when the perfect person comes along, you will know it, you will feel it, and you will be ready to commit. However, sometimes it is not that simple. Sometimes, being single is just way too much fun to quit. So how do you know if you are ready to be part of a pair?

You Want To Be Around Her All The Time

This is quickest, easiest way to tell you want to commit to someone. You have been dating for a couple weeks (or months), yet you cannot get enough of this person. You miss her as soon as she walks inside her house. You wish you could wake up beside her every morning. However, remember that the initial rush of a very fresh relationship produces this same craving, so take heed.

You Are Okay Not Canoodling With Strangers Anymore

Your friend keeps trying to get you to go to the bar with him, like usual. But you’re just not feeling it. You don’t want to spend your energy picking up random chicks, when you know of an amazing one already. You don’t even want to fool around with anyone else, lest it upsets her or makes her think you are less than serious.

You Want To Introduce Her To Your Family

While friends are treated as gatekeepers, your family is more like the guarded treasure. You may decide not to introduce them to any casual flings as a way to protect them (or to protect her from them!). Maybe you don’t want them to get attached to someone you have no future with, or maybe you just don’t want to merge those two areas of your life. However, once you begin feeling like that wouldn’t be such a bad idea, you are getting closer to the idea of being monogamous.

You Want To Tell Her All About Your Life

There are few things in this world that are better than those early moments of a relationship when you stay up all night, telling tales to each other. You tell her embarrassing stories of your youth, endearing stories of your teenage years, and horror stories of, well, last year. You begin to open up and talk about your hopes and fears and goals. You don’t do this with every girl that comes along. You save it for someone you know will support you and will not laugh (well, except when appropriate).

And for the most important sign…

You know a good thing when you see it and you don’t want anyone to steal her from you.

No, that’s not it, although a healthy sense of appreciation to keep you on your toes is always good.

You can see a future with her.

It doesn’t have to be marriage on your mind. But if there is something there, something to make you think you two will be happy together for a long time…that is the only sign you really need.

How To Love A Powerful Woman: Mo’Nique, Sandra And Victoria Reveal Secrets To Success

Sarah Elizabeth Malinak — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 21:55:54 +0000

You may think this article was written just for men. It wasn’t! Powerful women pay attention because being loved well is your responsibility too! There is useful advice for both of you here.

This year’s Best Actress and Best Supporting Actress winners at the 82nd Academy Awards, Sandra Bullock and Mo’Nique, are powerful women happily married to powerful men – men who are not intimidated by their women’s successes.

Fortunately for us, Sandra and Mo’Nique were interviewed repeatedly prior to and following the Oscars where they unsuspectingly shared relationship advice. When you listen to someone who has created a successful love partnership, the way they talk about their beloved reveals secrets the rest of us can use to improve our own love stories.

In addition, this winter saw the movie “The Young Victoria” making its way around the country. Within that little gem is a world of advice for how to love a powerful woman. Based on the early years of Queen Victoria’s reign (the Victoria for whom “Victoria’s Secret” is named), we watch the young beauty fall in love with her handsome Prince Albert – a man who would never be called king – and watch them navigate how to love and be loved in these roles that demand she be his superior in every way.

Prince Albert was no puppet. He masterfully and with great masculine expression, made a place for himself in the palace and in his wife’s heart. “The Young Victoria,” like interviews with Sandra and Mo’Nique, accomplishes what it did not set out to do; it gives us advice for how to love a powerful woman.

Relationship Advice From Some Of The Most Powerful Women

Women, respect your men. In this 21st Century, it’s easy to not appreciate what it costs a man to be in a relationship with a powerful, successful woman. Regardless of how the world measures your and his accomplishments, he is worthy of your respect because he loves you – even adores you. Respect him.

Have a sincere interest in his work and interests. Nothing says, “I love and respect you” quite like having a genuine curiosity in the interests of another. It makes him feel seen and heard.

Mo’Nique makes this provocative statement,” “I don’t think that anyone should be in control of a relationship. I think that if you have a woman that controls her man, he is a puppet and he is weak.” But ladies, the attempt to control him begins with you. If you don’t want to be a tyrant in your relationship, if you want it to feed and nurture you, then respect him.

Advice For Men

Men, have your own work and interests. There are hundreds of ways to love and support her. While you may be content to be the moon that orbits around her as sun, most of you will thrive best if you have your own work and interests.

Know your place in her life. Depending on just how successful she is she may have a posse or entourage of folks who take care of her. Those kinds of relationships can get sticky – a little dysfunctional with various people longing to have a place in her heart that usurps all others. Don’t allow it. You don’t have to go to war with anyone who would like to position themselves between the pair of you. You simply have to know that you are her husband (or lover) and that no one can take your place. Taking that stand, you simply won’t engage with those who would like to be superior to you in her heart.

Protect her and provide a safe space from the slings and arrows of life. Because of a woman’s natural ability to multi-task and see a big picture, she can take on entirely too much, attempting to make too many people happy, feeling like the Great Mother to people who both have their own mothers and are perfectly capable adults themselves! Your ability to focus can help her make time for herself and for the both of you to have time to rest and relax and to feel safe and secure.

In her Golden Globe acceptance speech, Sandra had this to say to her husband, Jesse James, “There’s no surprise that my work got better when I met you because I never knew what it felt like for someone to have my back, so thank you.”

For Both Of You

Finally, work together for both of you to accomplish your goals. Rather than treat the stuff of her life as more important than yours, view your separate and mutual interests as equally valid and do whatever it takes for both of you to win in your careers.

At one point in the movie, Victoria and Albert are drenched from running in the rain, undressing each other back in their private quarters. She clings to him, looks him in the eyes and says, “We will take care of each other, won’t we.” More of a statement than a question, it’s a delicious moment between lovers who are equals in their hearts and souls, unencumbered by the demands of the gifts of their lives that put them in the roles of Queen and Prince.

If you love a powerful woman or if you are a powerful woman in love with a man who loves you, the two of you been gifted with a rare opportunity to contribute to this world and to love each other in a unique and abiding way. Know that you are not alone on this journey; other couples have and do traverse it well. And remember to have fun!

When A Woman Tries To Control, Rescue, Or Fix Her Man

Sarah Elizabeth Malinak — Mon, 01 Mar 2010 21:00:54 +0000

Every once in awhile I get to experience what it’s like for a man when a woman tries to control, rescue, or fix him. Every time it happens, I get a hint of how humiliating it is for men to have women mother them in this way.

Did you know that women do to other women what they do to men? They try to control, rescue, and fix their friends. I don’t know how other women react to it but I don’t like it. I have a mother. She’s the perfect mother for me and I don’t need another woman attempting to fill that role. Gentlemen, does this sound familiar?

Depending on which woman friend in my life attempts to control, rescue, or fix me determines the degree to which I feel humiliated by her efforts. Some friends are so endearing in their approach that I can’t resist them. To be perfectly honest, when I get in the same mothering mode, I try to be as endearing as possible! I admit it is sheer manipulation meant to make me feel better about interfering in my friends’ (or my husband’s) lives. Yet I can fall for the manipulation when it’s delivered in a sweet and loving way.

Manipulation vs. Sheer Will

Today, I felt manipulated in a way that irritated me. A friend interrupted my attempts to clean up after a social event. I thought I was done clearing away trash and had washed my hands. She had more to add to the garbage bag. Because I mentioned I’d washed my hands, she tried to take the task away from me whereas I’d resigned myself to complete the task and just wash my hands again. She argued with me and tried to physically take over. I wouldn’t let her and as I was finally finishing up, she shoved one of those hand gels in front of my face to rescue me from having to rewash my hands! I chuckled and said, “No thank you. I’d just as soon wash them again.” She sort of stormed away at that point.

Why didn’t I just let her take over? Because I took pride in the task and wanted to take care of it myself. With each attempt on her part to rescue me, I felt increasingly manipulated and patronized. If you are a woman reading this article, you might not be able to empathize. But if you are a man reading this article, I bet you understand. It feels awful to have a woman try to mother you by attempting to control, rescue, or fix you. When you are handling any situation, you don’t need rescuing. And if you need help, you will ask for it!

So, to help my female readers gain some empathy with a man on this issue, let me put it another way. Chances are you have someone in your life that makes you feel patronized every time she belittles your efforts, tries to rescue you as though you are a child, or attempts to make you better by making you over in her image. If you will bring that person to mind and remember what it feels like to be treated thus, I guarantee you can empathize with your man when he resents your attempts to make him better – or make him over.

When Women Manipulate Men

For my gentleman readers, if you have a lady in your life who tries to control, rescue, or fix you; pay attention the next time she complains about the manipulative woman in her life. Then the next day (not in the same conversation), gently and lovingly say, “Would you like for me to confide in you something that is very tender for me? Something that makes me feel vulnerable with you? Sometimes you want me to open up. I have something to share but I need you to really listen to me. Are you ready?”

She’ll look at you with big, puppy dog eyes ready to lap up this self-disclosure. Depending on her personality, you may have to add, “Now, this may strike you as offensive but if you’ll stay with me, I think we can help each other and improve our relationship. Would you like to try?”

“YES!” she replies.

Then in your own words and as gently as possible tell her that the way she feels when her friend patronizes her is how you feel when she tries to ________ fill in the blank______.

When He Opens Up

If you are gentle and loving and if her heart is in the relationship, she ought to be able to hear you. Tempers might flare a little bit. But if you stay with wanting to let her know how you feel rather than make her wrong, you will go far with this. You can even say, “Listen, this is a problem all men have. It takes even less manipulation for us to feel the way you feel when your most manipulative friend does her number on you. I’m just laying it all out here. Because the more you trust me to be the man, to take care of things in my own way, the happier you will be because there will be less tension.”

I have one more piece of advice. If your woman is the kind who takes advantage of your opening up in order to dig really deep inside you, don’t let her. Assure her that this piece is huge. It’s enormous! If she will absorb the information and integrate it over the next several days, she will see how very much she has been given with this one self-revealing topic.

Ladies, if you can respect how meaningful this is and not require him to go deeper or share more, you’ll reap big benefits. In addition, within about twenty-four hours, you’ll have your new understanding tested as something happens and you find yourself itching to control, rescue, or fix him. The real work begins when you choose to not go there!

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