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Getting Her To Give You Oral Sex More Often (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 04 Jan 2009 15:32:50 +0000

Many people love receiving oral. In fact, most people do. Whether you’re a guy or a gal, receiving oral sex can be extremely pleasurable.

However, giving oral sex might not be as fun. Some people don’t like to give oral sex at all, or they seldom give it because it makes them uncomfortable.

If you want oral sex to become a regular part of your routine, how can you get your partner to give more oral?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hi, I’m 18 and my girlfriend and I have been seeing each other for over a year and are very happy together; but, I don’t think she gives me oral often enough – like once in the past few months.

I talk to my friends and it seems like i’m the only one not getting it. I’ve spoken to her about it and asked why, but she just said "Do any girls really like doing it?" and sort of didn’t talk any more about it and i didn’t want to ask again since in case she thinks i’m nagging.

I think that if i ask the right way then she will but i’d hate to say "suck me off" or "gimmie a BJ" as I treat her with much more respect than that. Any ideas what i could say… or do to change her mind?

– Adam, UK

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The Taste And Smell of Oral Sex

The biggest complaint from oral sex givers is that both male and female genitals have their own taste and smell. Sometimes the smell or taste more strongly than other times, but this is something that is completely natural. However, a strong taste and smell might be off putting for someone who is giving oral sex.

You can make sure your partner is enjoying giving you oral sex as much as possible by making sure you’re clean and trimmed. Take a shower right before oral sex if you need to!Although genitals’ natural smell is perfectly normal, if you’ve been outside mowing the lawn all day, it might be a little strong for someone to consider going down on you.

You can also improve the taste of your genitals through what you eat. Naturally sweet foods, such as strawberries and pineapples, make semen and vaginal secretions taste sweeter, so giving oral sex is more pleasurable…

What ME a Sex Addict?

Melody Brooke — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 13:09:49 +0000

Only a few of us think that the way we participate in sexual activity is addictive, but often the beginnings of sexual addictions show up in covert ways that we may miss if we are not attentive.

I just spent three days at a symposium on addiction and the speakers there reminded me of just how ubiquitous sexual additions are in our society.

Most of the time I tend to think of men as the ones harboring secret sexual addictions but, of course, women are just as subject to sexual addictions as men. We really are not that different, are we?

The Truth About Sexual Addiction

Strangely, most sexual addictions have little to do with sex, other than the fact that the behaviors take place in the context of sexuality. Exhibitionism is really about wanting to feel the power of having shocked someone. Pornography is about fantasy.

Most of the others, like sadomasochistic fetishes are all about regaining a sense of power and control. Strangely enough, even the avoidance of sex can be a “addictive” behavior according to Maureen Canning of the Meadows Treatment Center.

As a wife who avoided sex over the course of many years of my previous marriages, this one got my attention. I was, as many women are, quite able to enjoy a courtship and “honeymoon” phase of an active and athletic sex life during the beginning phases of my relationships.

But, as the relationship moved out of the fantasy stage and into the reality of a real, day to day set of interactions, sex disappeared. It didn’t disappear because my husband wasn’t interested. No, it disappeared because I became angry and disgusted with his continuing to be happy with sex as the lifeblood of our relationship.

Once we were married I think I expected our relationship to magically blossom into a real intimate connection. Never mind that I had no clue how to do that. But I was certain it was my husband’s fault because HE was such an angry, avoidant, workaholic.

Certainly I was the innocent victim of his deliberate withholding of time, attention and kindness. So, I withheld sexual contact from him because I was so angry with him. I never thought of it as being addictive behavior.

But if you re-frame how you think about what addiction is, you can easily see how it really is an addictive process. As Maureen Canning says, most sexual addiction is really about power and control.

I was clearly attempting to get a sense of power in the relationship by moving into the Self-Protective withdrawal position. I put up barriers to prevent myself from feeling vulnerable to his angry, avoidant behaviors. I did this in an attempt to get power and control over feeling like his Victim…

Not Having Enough Sex? Here’s The Secret To Increasing Her Sex Drive

Cynthia Perkins — Tue, 23 Dec 2008 14:27:02 +0000

One of the most common points of conflict for couples in a long-term relationship is the loss of sexual desire for the woman.

The loss of sex drive for women may occur for a variety of reasons, some of which may be physiological, but putting all those aside for another conversation, it may surprise you to learn that what I hear from many of the women I work with in my practice is that one of the primary causes for loss of desire is unmet needs.

As they tell me their story, they are not usually aware it’s their unmet needs that is the culprit of their dilemma, but it is what we uncover as we explore their situation further.

Why Women Lose Their Sex Drive

A great deal of women lose their sex drive for one very simple reason she is not enjoying the sex. When sex is not pleasurable for the woman, she responds by withdrawing and shutting down sexually. Think about it, would you want to have sex if it weren’t satisfying?

Sex is not enjoyable for many women, because not only are her sexual needs not being met adequately, but neither are her emotional needs and for the woman, both are equally important.

Why aren’t these needs being met, you ask? Because many men and women alike don’t truly understand what it is a woman needs.

A lot of couples are not aware that the sexual needs and biological responses of men and women are quite different and it is essential that they understand these crucial differences to have a sexual relationship that is equally satisfying for both partners.

Increase Her Sex Drive by Increasing Her Pleasure

Solving her sex drive problem should be a joint effort. It should not rest on his or her shoulders alone. However, if you’re a man reading this page I’d like to make you aware that there is a simple solution to keeping her sexual desires alive that is totally within your control. Take matters into your own hands and make sex irresistible for her.

Dazzle her by focusing on her needs. Blow her mind by getting to know her body better than she does. Help her expand her horizons to places she’s never gone before and you’ll be viewed as an amazing lover that she deeply appreciates. Once she sees how enjoyable sex can be, she’ll become more willing to explore and be adventurous.

She doesn’t know what she’s missing, but once she discovers it with you, she’ll be grateful that you took her on the journey and this will strengthen her bond with you. Coach and encourage her to express her needs to you and show you what is pleasurable for her.

Deepening The Connection

Fill her emotional needs by deepening your connection with her. Make her feel special, appreciated, valued and important outside the bedroom as well as inside. Shower her with affection and give her adequate foreplay,

When sex is more satisfying for her, it benefits the man as well. She’s going to be more willing and even eager to give you pleasure in the way you desire, such as more oral sex. She’ll be willing to have sex more often and you may find that she’ll even be the one initiating it.

Phrases like "I have a headache," or "I’m too tired," will no longer be part of her vocabulary. Your sexual adventures will be more satisfying for both of you. When you share a strong sexual bond that is mutually satisfying, it keeps your sex life fresh and exciting, prevents your love from eroding or diminishing and you develop a stronger and more fulfilling relationship all around.

Discover The One Powerful Skill That Will Turn You Into an Exceptional Lover

Paul Tony — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 13:33:40 +0000

A true master in the art of making love knows that every woman has different wants and needs. Therefore, a lover a can only really become a masterful lover to the one woman he takes the time to learn.

A masterful lover realizes that each woman will have specific tastes in the bedroom. While one woman might like her man to be rough, another might prefer her man to take the more gentle approach.

The Sexual Uniqueness of Men and Women

Yes, like men, every woman will have the same basic likes and dislikes, but that is only on the surface. Think about it, while most of us like the taste of fruit, some of us prefer an orange over a banana.

This is what makes every man and woman unique. It is this uniqueness that a masterful lover will try to discover and appreciate in his partner, thus will take the necessary time needed in order to truly know what turns his woman on.

No matter what techniques you learn, none of them will really matter if you have no idea what your woman’s true desires are. Therefore, if you want to become an exceptional lover in your woman’s eyes, it is important that you learn one very important skill;

The Art of Paying Attention To Her

In order to master the “art of paying attention”, you need to learn to listen to every moan and groan your woman makes while you are making love with her. Now there is a difference between listening and really listening. I am talking about the type of listening that is able to interpret each moan and groan your woman makes.

You have to find out if a certain groan means that she likes what you are doing, or if it means that you should stop what you are doing. This takes time, concentration, and patience.

In order to successfully interpret every noise that your woman makes, you also need to learn to pay attention to every movement she makes during sex. Is she squirming her pelvis during a cunnilingus session because she is enjoying what you are doing, or is it because she is signaling you to stop as she is feeling uncomfortable with the type of stimulation you are applying?

By paying attention to both her movements and noises, you will soon be able to get an accurate interpretation what she is feeling, and what she would really like you to do to her.

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What is Tantra and Tantric Sex?

Carla Tara — Mon, 29 Sep 2008 19:22:35 +0000

Tantra is such a vast subject that it’s fascinating and awe-inspiring. It includes so much that it can be very confusing to the beginning student.

Tantra is an art, a science, a way of life that is honest and courageous. It includes and faces squarely our sexual energy, this awesome force that some religions fear and want to suppress. It can be used to help us reach our highest potential of pleasure, and union with the divine.

What Tantra Is and Isn’t

However, Tantra is not a religion. Tantra does not require anyone to follow any dogmas. Rather, it encourages us to discover through our own experience our true creative potential for pleasure, and our ability to connect with all the elements that surround us, and the spirit that we all share.

To achieve this, it offers a series of exercises in breathing, tone vibrations, the use of certain muscles, and concentration on certain symbols representing the energy centers of the body. This helps us clear blocks interfering with the movement of energy, and guides us into altered states of consciousness.

There we can transcend our everyday self-identification, and we can get a glimpse of our true larger reality. This includes the body, and goes beyond to include "all that is." It’s a state of great expansion and orgasmic pleasure that surpasses by far the short-lived ejaculatory orgasm that many are accustomed to.

Engaging in the Tantric Journey

There are many wonderful book on Tantra, and reading can open your mind up to Tantra, but in order to actually engage in the journey, I think the best way to start is with a good guide. Why do many people need a guide?

Some books can be confusing and no matter how well written they can never express the warmth and guidance of a real knowledgeable professional who can transmit her energy and knowledge to the seekers who are open to receive it.

Connect With and Clear Emotional Issues

If you want to prepare for a really high Tantric experience with each other, it is also essential to start by taking time to connect and catch up with emotional issues that might linger unexpressed. People often leave these issues unsaid because of some common rationalizations, such as “I don’t want to start a fight with her” or “he’s not ready to hear me.”

But when we leave these emotions hidden, they become a hindrance to the moving of erotic energy, and end up suppressing our passion for each other. Paying attention to each other and really listening to each other’s concerns is essential. Learning how to “make love grow” becomes especially imperative if you did not see good models for this process while growing up.

Making Love Tantrically

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How To Make Lovemaking a Real Love Making Experience With Touch

Carla Tara — Mon, 22 Sep 2008 19:24:28 +0000

People have forgotten the simplest lovemaking ‘technique’ of all: the incredible power of human touch. Even when the opportunity arises in lovemaking sessions for us to give and receive the pleasure of the caress, we tend to get caught up in the drive to ejaculatory orgasms.

Making Lovemaking a Real Love Making Experience

Admittedly, ejaculatory orgasms produce intense pleasure, but without the slow build up of conscious touch, it is more like a sneeze in the groin, just a release of tension, than a deeply satisfying experience that “makes love grow” (love making).

Unfortunately for many people, sex encounters become more mutual masturbation than real love building experiences.

Tantra invites us to take time to thoroughly touch each other to increase arousal across the entire body. Our skin is our biggest organ and needs caring love and attention. But the Tantric touch, the conscious touch, goes deeper than the skin.

Using Conscious Touch

“Conscious touch” means that you are not thinking of something else. Your attention is fully on your lover, how they breathe and how they take in your touch. Your conscious touch stirs up energy, opening up both the heart and the flow of sexual energy in the form of weak electronic waves that continue to build up until they become larger waves that encompass the entire body.

Sometimes we touch how we want to be touched instead of tuning in to see how our lover likes it. If you notice your lover caught up in their own thoughts, notice how you are touching them. Ask if they would like a softer or stronger, slower or faster touch. This will get their attention back, and you will get a chance to give them the touch they desire.

Touch is both sensuous and healing. The most obvious emissaries of love are our arms, and the focal points from which love flows are the palms. When we touch our loved ones, we help them heal from any pain or disappointment they experience during the day, and they feel that life is worth living just to be touched by you.

Connecting Your Intention With Your Breath

When you connect your intention to your breath, you will feel their muscles sucking in that attention, all the way down to the bones. Yes, bones need love and attention, too, and your intention connected with your breath is powerful enough to penetrate deeply.

Tantric people know that touching a lover does not have to end in ejaculation. Some women cringe when their men start touching them because they know it will end up in intercourse and they might not be in the mood.

I invite men to set up a “just touching time” with your beloved. Then, even when she gets excited you keep your agreement of “just touching” during that time. Doing this often, you build up trust in your word, and she will be touched with joy anytime you do so.

And I promise you that both of you will have an incredibly great time touching and making love.

To learn more about Carla Tara, visit www.1Tantra.com.

3 Mistakes Men Make That Causes Women To NOT Have Sex With Them Ever Again!

Lee Jenkins, author Female Orgasm Black Book — Thu, 17 Apr 2008 14:30:10 +0000

So you thought it went really well. You lavished her attention and ensured she reached her climax first before you did. So why doesn’t she want to ‘hook up’ with you again? Chances are, you committed one of the three mistakes that most men do after having sex.

While men are often only concerned about what occurs DURING sex, women are bit more complicated; they also put attention (A LOT of attention) on what occurs after sex.

If you’ve never really picked up on this before, then chances are you’ve committed one of the following mistakes.

After-Sex Mistake #1: Rolling over after reaching an orgasm and going to sleep.

You may think that this is ‘natural.’ After all, didn’t you just have a long day at work and didn’t you just cater to fulfilling her sexual needs first before yours? But to your partner, dozing off right away means only one thing: insensitivity.

In fact, most women will think this way, "now that he’s had his way with me, he’s done and just wants to sleep!".

So how do you handle this situation especially when you are really sleepy after sex? Simply snuggle up to her and cuddle up a bit. You can stroke her hair too. (Better actually, as this may make HER sleepy!).

After-Sex Mistake #2: Jumping out of bed and doing something else.

If sleeping immediately after sex shows you’re insensitive, jumping out of bed and putting all your attention into doing something else (e.g., work!) means you’re a real jerk to her.

For yourself, you may just feel so energized after cumming that you want to do other things, but to her jumping out of bed right after sex indicates that the time you two had was irrelevant. It wasn’t lovemaking; it was just sex.

So how do you handle this situation especially when you are really NEED to do something? Just stay a bit longer in bed. A couple more minutes surely won’t kill you! You can simply embrace her and be quiet, or cuddle and (for me the better option) start to slowly mention that darn! you forgot to do something and now you have to get up now and do it. Do this grudgingly!

After-Sex Mistake #3: Reaching for the remote, turning on the TV, and forgetting she’s beside you.

You can’t fake intimacy. Does this mean you can’t ever turn on the TV after having sex? Of course not! In fact, SHE may even want to catch something on TV herself.

But the thing is, don’t break contact. You can just as easily reach for the remote while ensuring that you’re still embracing her, right? Further, a simple question of "do you mind?" can go a long way than simply ignoring her and watching TV!

Just don’t forget to include her. Ask her if she wants to see something too or ask for her comment on what you’re watching. Anything that signifies you haven’t forgotten that she’s beside you is good.

Take just a minute to check out ‘The Female Orgasm Black Book’: “How To Give Her Mind Numbing, Leg Shaking Orgasms”