Ask Dan and Jennifer » matchmaking

Is Shyness Keeping You From the Girl of Your Dreams?

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 05 Feb 2007 16:37:10 +0000

The Question:

There is this girl at my church that I think might like me. Every time I get a chance to say something to her I don’t because I’m really shy. What can I say or do to break the ice?

The Answer:

The challenge here is that you really like her and really want her to like you. And that’s the problem. That wanting translates into fear – fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of being alone.

STOP! Let’s go through this together so you will be able to approach her with ease the next time you see her.

She’s a regular person, just like you

Don’t put her on a pedestal just because you like her. This is one of the biggest mistakes men make with women, which is why they strike out so often.

Remember, she’s a regular person, just like you. So, treat her that way. Be nice, friendly, and most of all, confident in yourself. You wouldn’t be shy talking to one of your guy friends or a girl that you have no interest in, right?

So treat her like that – just one of your friends.

Men and women aren’t nearly as different as we all like to believe. At the end of the day we’re all people with needs, feelings, hopes, dreams, etc. We all need friends, companionship, and so on.

How can you tell if she likes you?

When you talk with her, notice how you feel. Do you feel like you WANT her to like you, or do you feel that she DOES like you? Is there a strong surge of energy, a magical spark between the two of you? Down deep, you’ll know if she really likes you.

You can feel it. Trust your gut.

Warning. Many guys make a big deal about asking a girl if she likes them. Don’t ever do that. You’ll put her on the spot and she’ll have to choose without getting to know you first. It’s like deciding if you want to buy a car without ever sitting in it.

The key here is confidence and belief in you. Listen for what’s in your heart, not for what you want to be there. If you’re too nervous to even talk without stuttering, then you won’t be able to read your gut feelings. So it’s very important to get a grip on yourself and just relax.

What if she turns you down?…

Dating Advice for Men from PerfectMatch

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 30 Jan 2007 23:32:46 +0000

Per Marc Brooks at Online Personals Watch, PerfectMatch is announcing something special for their members… to help them actually meet and keep that special person.

They’ve teamed up with BeBetterGuys to bring their male members dating advice.

Looks like PerfectMatch is balancing out their iVillage partnership with this addition.

It’s really great to see online dating sites going the extra mile and adding help and advice for singles, instead of just offering a plain ‘people shopping search engine’.

It’s a win-win for everyone: PefectMatch members, the dating site, and the advice site.

I think we’ll see more of the paid dating sites implementing features like this to really help their members be more successful. That’s the best way they have to compete with the ever growing number of free dating sites, like PlentyOfFish.com, popping up every day – better and more member focused features.

Mark Brooks – Online Personals Watch

BeBetterGuys brings its expertise in men’s fashion, grooming, dating, and etiquette directly to Perfectmatch’s four million members. The BeBetterGuys "Game Plan" provides a nuts-and-bolts how-to approach guide to help Perfectmatch’s male membership prepare for, and enjoy, a more successful in-person experience. Perfectmatch has partnerships with MSNBC, Lifetime Television, iVillage, Knight Ridder, Go.com, Warner Bros., Paramount and NBC Universal Studios. The newest book written by Dr. Pepper Schwartz, "Finding Your Perfect Match" (Penguin), appears in bookstores nationwide.

Full Article at PR Newswire.

Calling All Animal Lovers… Dan and Jennifer Team Up With DateMyPet.com

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 23 Oct 2006 17:58:00 +0000

We’re really excited to tell you this…

We’ve just teamed up with DateMyPet.com to get the latest dating and relationship tips and advice to their members. Spreading the good word!

If you haven’t heard of DateMyPet.com yet, you’re missing out.

They’ve been featured by The Today Show, Good Morning America, MSNBC, the LA Times, the San Francisco Chronicle, and many other major traditional media outlets – and that’s just in 2006.

They’re a great example of a niche online dating site, for animal lovers like us.

In fact, DateMyPet.com was a major point of discussion in our revealing interview with Heather Vale for the soon to be released Online Dating Confessions ePackage where we reveal everything we’ve learned from our online dating business over the last three years. Stay tuned. You won’t want to miss this.

Have an awesome day!
Dan & Jennifer

P.S. If you love animals like we do, don’t forget to check out DateMyPet now.

______________________________________
Ask Dan and Jennifer
Authors, Coaches, and Online Dating Insiders
www.AskDanAndJennifer.com

Match.com Learns a Few Tricks from MySpace and Facebook…

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 20 Oct 2006 08:52:00 +0000

The big online dating sites haven’t changed much over the last few years. But that’s beginning to change…

Match.com is finally taking a page from the social networking playbook and adding "communities" or interest groups, much like MySpace and Facebook have done.

Instead of just plain searching, you can now browse all kinds of communities or "interest groups", from state and major cities, to religion, politics, smoking, etc.

MySpace has done some amazing things for getting people together based on their interests – it’s great to see the online dating sites going that same direction.

If you still haven’t tried Match.com, this could be a great time to take them up on their 3-day free trial. Give it a try.

Have a great day!
Dan & Jennifer

______________________________________
Ask Dan and Jennifer
Authors, Coaches, and Online Dating Insiders
www.AskDanAndJennifer.com

Seems MySpace and Friendster Aren’t Just For Your Kids Anymore…

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 08:17:00 +0000

Ok, so we all got used to thinking about MySpace and Friendster as online hangouts for the college and younger crowd.

But something’s changed…

These amazingly popular social networking sites seem to have absorbed a large segment of the grown-up population.

According to Comscore, the nice folks who bring us website stats, the age of the average MySpace user is – get this – between 35 and 54.

“MySpace.com has the broadest appeal across age ranges, Facebook.com has created a niche among the college crowd, Friendster.com attracts a higher percentage of adults, and Xanga.com is most popular among younger teens. There is a misconception that social networking is the exclusive domain of teenagers, but this analysis confirms that the appeal of social networking sites is far broader.”

You can get down and dirty details from the ComScore press release here:
http://www.comscore.com/press/release.asp?press=1019

So, we’re not talking mostly college kids, but rather a majority of people who are over 35. Go figure.

Of course, there’s been a lot of back and forth between the "in the know" and the "wanna be in the know" people (a.k.a. "experts") on this for the last week or so.

The truth is probably somewhere in between, but the bottom line remains – MySpace isn’t just for your kids anymore.

Don’t be shy – leave a comment on this post and tell us what you think.

Have a great day!
Dan & Jennifer

______________________________________
Ask Dan and Jennifer
Authors, Coaches, and Online Dating Insiders
www.AskDanAndJennifer.com

Dan’s a Shameless Attention Seeker…

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 11 Oct 2006 14:26:00 +0000

Hey, Jennifer here…

Did you know there’s a famous Top 100 websites list… that is determined by readers?

It’s the Technorati Top 100 blogs. And get this…

Our AskDanAndJennifer.com blog is the first and only dating and relationship website there!

Dan and I are asking you to vote for our AskDanAndJennifer.com advice column now, because we have a personal goal to break into the Top 20 of that special websites list.

We really appreciate your help on this. It’s really quick and easy, I promise, but important to us. Not to mention the warm, tingly, gratifying feeling of helping us reach our goal.

It takes less than 2 minutes, and you can even stay anonymous – it just asks you to pick a login ID and enter your email to prevent duplicate voting.

I just checked and we only need about 60 more votes to reach our goal!

Please take just 2 minutes to vote us to the Top 20 now!

Here’s what you’ll be doing…

First, Click here to create an account on that site (it’s really easy – and you can stay anonymous)
http://technorati.com/faves?add=http://www.AskDanAndJennifer.com

Second, Click the link below to actually do the voting (to add our blog to your Technorati Favorites)
– and push the confirm button when it asks you if you’re sure you want to do that
http://technorati.com/faves?add=http://www.AskDanAndJennifer.com

Thank you!

To your abundant success and happiness,
Dan and Jennifer

P.S. Let us know when you’ve voted - we have a special surprise waiting for you. You won’t want to miss this.

P.P.S. WAIT – do Not close this message, do Not pass Go, do Not collect $200.
You’ll want to scroll back up and vote…

P.P.P.S. Please think of at least 2 friends and forward this email to them so that they can be part of this incredible Grassroots effort!

___________________________________
Ask Dan and Jennifer
Authors, Coaches, and Online Dating Insiders
www.AskDanAndJennifer.com

Users: It’s NOT OK to Lie in Your Profile

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 03 Oct 2006 21:41:00 +0000

OPW — Sep 26 — It seems many users and a few industry notables are OK with white lies in profiles. Here’s my thoughts. Your comments please.

Lies are always good for the short term and bad for the long term. Singles need to hold themselves to a higher standard of integrity. I advise anyone who goes on a date and finds themselves in front of a liar to immediately excuse themselves from that date. "Sorry, I’m not comfortable continuing with this date because you lied to me. It was a pleasure meeting you however. Thanks, bye."

This should include lies about age, weight, pictures which are significantly inaccurate/photoshopped. Lies are the BANE of this industry. A huge detriment. I highly, highly recommend site owners to advise their users to represent themslevs in their best possible light within the realms of complete honesty.

One of the reasons services like Great Expectations and The Right One are doing well, and charging thousands of dollars, is because their clients expect to see truthful profiles and know, truly, who they are meeting before their first date. Less surprises, means more value to clients. Higher integrity leads to higher profits…in the long run. – Mark Brooks

ReviewPlace.com gives “Online Dating – Finding Love Online” 5 stars!!!

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 25 Aug 2006 11:49:00 +0000

Review Place recently awarded a five-star rating to ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online,’ an e-book that teaches the art of online dating.

‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’ literally offers the insider’s track…

The e-book’s authors, Dan and Jennifer, actually founded a successful online dating site. As a consolidation of their vast experience, ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’ helps lonely hearts find their match online. The e-book walks the reader through the ins and outs of online dating, from writing an attention-grabbing profile to crafting winning emails and responses. The reader learns how to avoid being disappointed by recognizing warning signs and weeding out scammers. ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’ even provides help for handling that first date!

"In our quest to help our members become more successful, we have personally reviewed tens of thousands of profiles," said Dan and Jennifer, authors of ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’, "Our book contains the top strategies and tactics that ensure success in online dating."

" ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’ is a valuable resource for anyone who subscribes to online dating services or frequents online communities," said Andy West, the Press Relations representative for Review Place. "With Dan and Jennifer’s extensive research on proven online dating techniques and strategies, this e-book is sure to help readers find what they are looking for. It’s no surprise our reviewers gave ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’ a top rating."

One of the leading consumer-driven online communities, Review Place provides reviews on thousands of products and services. Review Place categories include home based businesses, employment services, relationship advice and many more. The site is dedicated to saving you time and money by providing quality information on the issues that impact your life. To see the complete list of categories, visit http://www.reviewplace.com/.

To find out more about ‘Online Dating – Finding Love Online’ and other related services, including descriptions, testimonials, and product reviews, please visit Review Place’s Dating Tips & Advice category by copying and pasting this link into your browser: www.reviewplace.com/cat-88-OnlineDating–dating-tips-advice.html.

Online Dating Tips – I See Someone I Like – Now What?

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 20 Aug 2006 16:37:00 +0000

So, you’ve signed up to a couple of dating sites and have actually found a few people you’d like to get to know better… maybe even date. What do you do now?

Well, you can put up your profile and wait for someone to contact you, but you’ll probably get much better results if you take the initiative. When you find someone interesting and feel the urge to say "Hey", don’t be bashful! That person may just love to hear from you. After all, they created a profile, just like you, in hopes of meeting someone. You definitely won’t know unless you contact them and find out.

Ladies, don’t be shy – men love to be pursued!

How do you initiate contact?

The most common ways to contact someone is with an email, an instant message, or a ‘wink’.

I recommend saving the instant messaging until you’ve exchanged a few emails because it gives you more time to think about what you are going to say and to get a feel for the other person. Once you get more familiar with each other, then you can start chatting.

If you don’t have a paid membership, you’ll most likely be limited to using ‘winks’ or ’smiles’ or something similar. These are canned messages that will say something like "Nancy is interested in you" or "Joe winked at you". Winks and smiles are a quick way to say hello but drastically limit your ability to pique someone’s interest. This puts a lot of pressure on having a terrific profile because it will have to do all of your talking for you.

Email is best in the beginning.

Emailing a potential date is a lot like flirting. The purpose of the first email is to get them to respond, to open a dialogue. You want to get their interest but leave it open ended so that they will respond back to you. Keep your emails short and charming. Another tip: don’t send a barrage of emails to one person, follow their pace and try to keep up. (If they send 4 a week, you send 4 or so a week.)

So How Do You Write That First Email?

When replying to personal ads, try to be, well, personable. Write at least a paragraph or two about yourself and what you like about them or their personal ad. Many of the principles of profile writing apply to email, such as staying positive, being honest, and paying close attention to spelling and grammar.

Meeting someone online is very exciting and can make you feel like a love struck teenager, but do your best not to sound like one. Most of us are looking for someone that is a little more mature, someone that has potential for being a lifetime partner. When you first start communicating with a person, there is nothing wrong with flirtation, being happy, and laughing, but make sure it’s not over the top. Also, don’t start by pouring out your soul, telling him or her all about your ex-spouse or ex-significant other. Avoid talking about personal things such as financial problems, health issues, or stories about your dysfunctional family. This is a huge turnoff, and an excellent way to scare someone away. Save that kind of talk for your Thursday night poker game or day at the hairdresser. If you are a single parent, a little bit of conversation about your kids is fine to break the ice and find common ground, but remember you are trying to build a romantic connection, so keep it too a minimum.

Always be honest!

If the relationship moves forward, the truth will come out eventually. It’s far better to be yourself up front rather than tell a silly lie in the beginning, only to be found out and have a potential relationship fall apart.

Keep it positive!

The last thing anyone wants is to send a message to someone and in the response, hear all about their past failed relationships, health problems, or financial woes. You can share the doom and gloom after you get to know each other a little bit. Or better yet, just put all that stuff behind you and move on. There’s no time like the present to start fresh!

Compliment something you found interesting in their profile.

This is where it’s important to read the person’s profile. It gives you things to talk about. For example, if you are a woman and you find a man interesting and he has Labrador dogs just like you, you could say something like, "Hi. My name is Mary and I noticed in your profile that you have Labs. I do too!" From there, give a brief description of your dog, mention that you would enjoy hearing back, and sign off…

Frustrated with Online Dating? Nobody Checkin’ You Out?

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 16 Aug 2006 18:37:00 +0000

Are you sick and tired of nobody checking out your online dating profile? Feeling like it’s all a big scam? Is the joke on you?

You’re about to find out the one single biggest things that you can do to have good-looking singles begging to meet you…

If you want to meet someone online, there’s one thing that you’ll definitely want to do – post a good, recent, smiling photo of yourself. If you can post more than one, even better!

Why upload your photo?

A Picture Is Worth 1000 Emails. Statistics have consistently shown that profiles with photos get a minimum of 10 times more looks. Many (actually most) people only search for profiles with photos. (Admit it. You do it too.) That means that if you don’t have a photo, people are not going to look at your profile. You might as well delete it, close out you account on Match.com, and head to you favorite bar.

I understand that you may be a little afraid to post your picture on the internet , but it will be very difficult to meet anyone worthwhile online without one. Think about it…. Put yourself in someone else’s place. Would you contact someone without a photo? When you search, don’t you want to see people with pictures?

The old saying that a picture is worth a 1000 words still applies. Your age, height, and hobbies may sound cool, but is that enough to pay cold hard cash to contact you?

Even if someone does contact you, the first thing they’ll want to know is what you look like . Also, many people don’t really trust the internet and may feel that you’re hiding something if you don’t post a photo – like your spouse and kids. They may assume you’re cheating on your partner or even that you’re a criminal.

Your photo makes you ‘real’. It gives you an identity.

With online dating, your photo can create a spark or chemistry that mere words cannot. Remember, most dating sites charge money to communicate with someone, so making that step to contact you or to respond to your message involves a bit of commitment, and not having a picture is just one more reason not to do it.

Just like updating your profile frequently, posting a photo will often get you placed at the top of the search results – above members without photos .

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

One reason you might not post a photo is because you think you’re ugly, or fat, or unattractive in some way. First of all, you’re probably wrong. Don’t worry about how you look. You’ll have to show yourself eventually! Even the best looking people look ugly when they don’t smile. So smile! If you’re not conventionally attractive, a confident, genuine smile can only do you good.

There are lots of techniques to make sure your photo is the best it can be.

You can crop or otherwise enhance you photo to make sure that your best side shows through. Most digital cameras come with free software that will help you do basic photo editing. Even if you use a 35mm camera and take to the store for development, most film developers offer the option of a digital CD of your pictures.

Tips for Winning Photos…

First Date Question – How Can I Avoid the Conversation Dead Zone and Keep From Striking Out?

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 09 Aug 2006 11:56:00 +0000

The Question

"I get stuck trying to start the conversation. Absolute silence drives me crazy. The ice breaker that I say usually ends up being something really stupid." – Anonymous

The Honest Answer

We’ve all been there before – that awkward silence that occurs when you’ve just met someone and have no idea what to say…

Just picture this in your mind… You’ve just met someone new and you’re a little unsure what to say to make a good first impression. Maybe you’re a little shy and a lot nervous! Maybe you’re just tired from a long day at the office. Regardless, you’re completely stuck and cannot think of a single intelligent thing to say. To make matters worse, your date isn’t saying anything either.

It’s the "FIRST DATE DEAD ZONE!" – Help! Someone say something… anything… Quick!

Is your fax machine more articulate that you?

No, your fax machine simply has an established protocol for first dates. Think back to the last time you faxed a document to someone. Your fax machine makes a connection to the other fax machine, and then you hear all kinds of gibberish before the document starts going through.

Did you ever wonder what that’s all about?

Well, the two fax machines are basically saying hello and setting the tone of the conversation, how fast they’re going to talk, what language they are going to use, and how long they’re going to chat.

It’s very similar to those first few minutes with your date.

You’re getting to know a brand new person
You’re getting used to their speech patterns and body language
You’re figuring out their sense of humor (which can in and of itself change the tone of the conversation completely)
You’re trying to determine their intentions. Are they really friendly? Can you trust them? Do the mean you any harm?
Do you really, really like them?

You simply need to implement your own personal first date protocol.

It’s important to remember that WHAT is said during those first few minutes doesn’t really matter. What is important is to establish that initial, friendly connection with the other person.

Here are some communication 101 tips for getting started on the right foot.

Be friendly and genuinely nice
Show concern for the other person’s feelings
Truly listen to them – look them in the eyes (I know that’s a tough one but you can do it.)

That’s great, but what do I say? Is there a canned ice breaker for every occasion?

Not exactly, but there’s always something you can say to alleviate the awkward silence.

These ideas should work in most first date situations.

Ask about their day… How was it?
Ask about their work… What do they do? How do they like it?
Inquire about pets and children. How many? Names? Ages?
Do they have anything that they like to do when they’re not working? Hobbies? Sports? Etc.

I know these sound rather generic, but the idea behind these simple questions is to find something that you both enjoy and feel comfortable talking about. Hopefully, you will find some things that you have in common.

However, it is important to not get too personal too fast . Show interest, and ask further probing questions, but don’t be too intrusive. You don’t want to scare the other person off.

So why do we freeze up on the first date?

In most cases, that uncomfortable silence (which can often cause panic for some), is based on fear. Yes, fear…

Fear that you’ll say something really stupid
Fear that you’ll have nothing in common
Fear that the other person won’t like you
Fear of being put on the spot to perform

How do you overcome YOUR fear?

Although there isn’t a magic formula that will save you every time, there is a solution to your problem. Take a little time before your date to come up with a few simple and general questions that you can ask or compliments that you might be able to make. Write them down on a piece of paper. Keep the piece of paper in your wallet or purse. You don’t necessarily have to look at it – just having it with you and knowing that it’s there will help you remember.

If you get really stuck, excuse yourself to the restroom and look at your cheat sheet. When you return, you will surely impress your date with your thoughtful and caring questions.

Stay tuned, more soon…

We encourage our readers to send us their most pressing online dating and relationship questions. If you haven’t told us your biggest dating question yet, you’ll want to go to AskDanAndJennifer.com and do it now before you forget.

For some fun and really unique date ideas, check out our review of Michael Webb’s excellent book 300 Creative Dates.

Online Dating Question – How Can You Spot a Fake Online Profile?

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 04 Aug 2006 10:41:00 +0000

The Question

How do you know that the profile is for real and not something made up to get you to join the online dating site? I would get lots of emails from a dating site so I would join it, and then the emails just stop. What’s up with that? - Anonymous

The Honest Answer

To avoid online dating scams, your best bet is to stick with the major online dating sites that have been around for a few years and have a large member base. They won’t admit it, but I have personally seen some of the smaller or more obscure dating sites ‘pad’ the website with fake profiles and even go so far as to send a message to their members from this ‘fake’ person in the hopes of generating more activity on the site.

The larger, more well known dating sites have no reason to do this and generally have employees whose job it is to monitor new accounts and weed out the spammers and the scammers. The larger sites also have a public image to protect, which works in your favor. If you suspect someone of being a spammer or scammer, make sure that you report them immediately to the website’s support team.

Why do the messages stop after you join?

There are all kinds of reasons that a real person may not answer your messages and many of them have nothing to do with you personally. Maybe they got really busy, left town on vacation, or decided that online dating is just not their thing. The important thing here is not to get discouraged. There are lots more fish in the sea.

I would recommend trying to send a few messages over the course of a few weeks before deciding to give up entirely. And then, if you still don’t here anything, move on.

There are situations where the person messaging you could be a scammer trying to contact you for whatever reason. Those accounts are often found and terminated quickly on the major dating sites. So by the time you respond, the account may have been deleted.

You might also get a wink from a girl who’s not actually a paying member of that site. If you join to message her she may not be able to respond unless she pays… and she may not be willing to do that. If she’s not willing to pay to talk to you, then she’s not worth your time anyway. Move on to the next cute girl on your list.

Red flags. How can you know the real people from the scammers?

"Red flags" are defined as those little things that you can look for in a person’s profile that indicate the profile may be fake. Although there is really no way to know for sure if a profile is real or fake, there are some red flags that you should watch out for.

Here are some examples of what I mean when I say "red flags"…

Dating and Relationship Advice – Can You Use the Law of Attraction to Find True Love?

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 03 Aug 2006 17:55:00 +0000

Have you ever noticed that when you start thinking about buying a new car, you start to see that car everywhere you go? This happens to all of us on both a very small and very large scale. For our purposes, we are talking about the very common idea that our "thoughts create our reality".

Now, you may be thinking…

"Wait, this sounds really weird. I’ve never heard of this stuff before, so it must be bogus." Hold that thought for just a minute… If you’re not already in the perfect relationship and your life isn’t already exactly as you want it to be, then keep reading. This very short article could just change your life for the better.

So what is the Law of Attraction? Simply put it is a Universal Law that says we will attract into our lives the things that we focus our attention on, whether it is positive or negative. Whether you are aware of it or not, every thought you have, every emotion you feel, everything you hear and read, affects your reality.

So what does that have to do with dating and relationships?

By truly understanding what you want from a relationship and applying some very basic Law of Attraction principles, you will ensure that you get what you truly desire. It is important to understand exactly what physical traits, behaviors, values, beliefs, and interests are important to you so that you can focus on what you want in your relationship instead of what you don’t want.

Remember, you will get what you focus on.

Many times, people will go from one failed relationship to another without giving any thought whatsoever to why or how their relationships keep failing. Even better, they over correct and end up in another relationship that fails for similar, yet opposite extreme reasons.

"If you’re like I was, you have no idea what you really want
from your next relationship – only it should be completely different from
the last one that failed so miserably!"

I certainly knew what I didn’t want – at least from the relationship that just ended. Wouldn’t it have been great if I would have taken the time to think about all of the failed relationships and combined all that heartache into one clear idea of what I did and did not want in a relationship? I could have saved myself a few swings of the pendulum.

How do I ‘Attract’ the perfect relationship for me?

I’m going to show you a real quick and simple way to Attract the exact person that you are looking for – Your dream date!

Take out a piece of paper and write down everything you want in your perfect relationship. What is he or she like? How do they look, smell, talk? What kinds of things will you do together? How do you feel when you’re around them? Really get into this and take the time to write down every detail. It’ll be well worth it in the end.

Most people never take this step of writing down what they want and yet it is the single most important step in finding the partner of their dreams.

"Do you know that by simply writing down what you want, you increase your chances of getting it by 80%!"

Just think about that for a minute…

Online Dating Question – I’m a Good Catch. Are all the Women in My Area Stupid?

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 29 Jul 2006 14:06:00 +0000

The Question

I need someone to help me try to stand out. There is no one around here that can help me. That or the women in my area are stupid, because I AM A CATCH! - Phil in Illinois

The Honest Answer

We’ll respond to the last part of Phil’s question first and then tell you a few quick tips to really make your online profile stand out from all the other guys on any dating site.

Part 1: "…That or the women in my area are stupid, because I AM A CATCH!"

When you’re trying to appeal to another person , i.e. to attract that really cute girl, take a look at yourself from her perspective, and figure out what would be attractive and what is important to her. Take the time to write down all of your best qualities "from her perspective". At that point it’s about her, not about you.

Maybe you’re coming across as a little too strong (read: arrogant). Many women like subtle confidence but not arrogance. You need to be sure of yourself without offending her.

Focus on your best qualities in your headline and online profile details. Also – and this is VERY important – remember that every person is a unique individual, with distinct preferences and tastes. What is a "great catch" to one person could be a turn off to another person, and vice versa. Be careful of assuming that other people perceive things the same way you do – that’s rarely the case and will often get you into trouble, especially with women.

Part 2: "I need someone to help me try to stand out…"

Here are some simple things that you can do to REALLY stand out among all of the other men on any dating site.

Upload a Quality Photo

We will continue to hammer on this one until every guy out there gets it! Most men do not upload their photo and the fact is that profiles with photos get 10 times more looks than those without. And get this, profiles with QUALITY photos get 4 times more looks than profiles with poor photos.

The key word here is QUALITY PHOTO. That’s where most men who do upload a photo really mess up. They upload a poor grainy photo, or worse yet, they upload a photo with their ex-girlfriend scribbled out. If you don’t like your photo, have a professional one made. There are many professional photo services that do nothing but create great photos for your online dating profile. This is the single biggest thing you can do to stand out!

Write a Catchy Headline

When it comes to writing an online profile, it is easy to make the mistake of not paying enough attention to your headline. Most people will click on a profile with a catchy headline just to see what the person has to say next.

…

Will it be Adult Friend Finder or PerfectMatch.com? Top 10 Tips for Finding the Best Online Dating Site for You…

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 28 Jul 2006 08:26:00 +0000

Question: What could PerfectMatch.com, eHarmony, and Adult Friend Finder possibly have in common and why do you care?

Answer: They are all online dating sites designed with a very specific objective and person in mind. Fact is, an amazing number of people sign up to the wrong dating site and wonder why it doesn’t work for them.

Adult Friend Finder is intended for people looking for a casual, and in most cases, a sexual relationship, A.K.A. "not looking for marriage".

eHarmony is intended for people looking for a long-term, serious relationship, A.K.A. "looking for marriage". But with the endless forms to fill out before signing up… most people don’t make it to the other side.

PerfectMatch.com falls somewhere in between, focusing on casual dating that may potentially turn into a long term relationship. This is also a great option for a dating site with true scientific matching.

Many people join dating sites like Adult Friend Finder simply to ‘browse’… If you are looking for some good ADULT entertainment, skip the added overhead of a dating site and try Sizzling Cams or Totally Free Cams.

(WARNING: These sites contains adult content and nudity. If that kind of stuff offends you, don’t click on the links.) You may also want to turn off your sound before you visit these sites…

So, if you are looking for a serious relationship, don’t you think it would be a mistake to join Adult Friend Finder? Yes, it may be fun to look around and flirt, etc., but are you really being honest with yourself and with the other members of that site?

There are literally hundreds, even thousands, of dating sites to choose from.
How do you know which ones are right for you?

As you begin your search for the best online dating site, you will probably be surprised by the number of options. Online dating services are popping up daily on the internet, making the decision of choosing the "right" service a bit overwhelming.

It’s well worth the extra time to find 2 or 3 dating sites that fit your personality and offer the services that you’re looking for. Narrow down the list of potential online dating sites to your top 3 and then compare them to determine the pros and cons of each one. Pay particular attention to the monthly cost and features offered by each dating site.

While more and more ‘free’ dating sites are becoming available, most sites differentiate between free and paid memberships. In general, most dating sites will let you upload your profile and a few photos, and search through their database of profiles for free (but they may not let you see all of the details). You will most likely have to pay for any additional features.

Once you’ve chosen a few, sign up for each of them. It only takes a little extra time and you’re sure to meet different people on each of the different sites.

Here are some excellent tips for finding a service that will best match your needs:

Establish a budget.
Decide how much money you want to spend, and set a budget. Most online dating websites charge a recurring monthly fee, but there are a few that have a one-time membership fee, and even fewer totally free sites. Determine up front how much you want to spend so that you can narrow your choices and avoid sites that don’t fit in your budget.
Ask for references.
Talk to friends and family to see if they or anyone they know has had a good experience with a particular online dating website. If you don’t know anyone, you can always check out an online dating guide. Just go to your favorite search engine and type in "online dating guide". You’ll get plenty to choose from.
Try to choose an online dating service that has been around for a couple of years.
The best way to find out how long a website has been around is to go to the website’s "About Us" page where you will learn not only the date the site was started but also the company’s philosophy. Another good source of information is the “FAQ”, or frequently asked questions page on the website.
Do your research.
Take the time to check your favorite search engines for popular dating sites. Try searching terms like "online dating", "meet someone online", or "online personals" to generate lists of potential online sites for you.
Consider specialized or niche sites.
Think about any special interests or unique situations that might require a more specialized online dating website. If you are interesting in something specific like Single Parents, Christian Dating, Jewish Dating, Senior Dating, Gay Dating, or Adult Dating, make sure you include those terms in your search (see #4 above).
Determine the pros and cons of your top picks.
Narrow down the list of potential online sites to your top three and compare them to determine pros and cons of each one. Compare them buy cost and features that are interesting to you such as live chat, online video, and number of members on the site.
Sign up to multiple dating sites.
Don’t be afraid to sign-up for multiple websites or change services if you are not satisfied. The goal is to meet new people online and enjoy the process. If a particular site is not meeting your needs, move on before you invest more of your money on a service that isn’t right for you.
For safety and convenience, look for online dating services that offer onsite messaging and email services.
This will allow you to communicate with people using a special email provided by the dating service instead of using your personal email or IM (instant message).
You should stay anonymous, at least at first. You wouldn’t walk into a bar with a name and address tag around your neck, would you? It is important, however, to use a valid email address when signing up for your account.

Most dating sites give you the option to receive email notification of replies to your personal ad, and some even forward the reply right to your email box. You won’t want to miss these emails!

I suggest that you use a free email account, such as Yahoo Mail or Hotmail , to reduce the possibility of spam. Just remember to check your new mailbox!
Make sure the dating service offers secure payment methods.
Also, look at the type of payments accepted (credit card, check, money order, PayPal, etc.) to ensure the options work for you.
Look for websites that offer free trials.
Look for an online dating service that will allow you to browse profiles and photos before you join, or a service that offers a free trial period so you can talk to people that you are interested in meeting before you have to pay. This allows you to fully understand the number and types of potential matches already signed up with the service.

Dating a Younger Woman in 5 Easy Steps

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 22 Jul 2006 12:05:00 +0000

The Question

I am looking for a younger woman but most women want to date someone around their own age. What can I do? – Anonymous

Today’s question is from one of our readers who wishes to stay anonymous; we’ll call him Bill.

Read the question again. Notice how Bill is already convinced that the younger woman he seeks will not be interested in someone his age. This is a self fulfilling belief which is virtually guaranteed to come true. If you believe deep down that you’re going to fail, then you will.

The Honest Answer

In short, yes, you can absolutely find a younger woman that’s right for you. You just need to set your target, take action, and stay the course.

How can you get started in the right direction?

First, take a look deep down inside and figure out exactly why you want to meet a younger woman. And then think about what this perfect woman would be like. Describe her in as much detail as you possible can. Then, write it down on a piece of paper. List her age, physical appearance, personality traits, hobbies, likes and dislikes, etc. Once your have described the perfect woman for you in great detail, fold up that piece of paper and carry it with you for 1 week.

Imagine that you are already with her. What will you do? What will you talk about? Where will you go? REALLY feel it and get into the emotion of it — How will you feel when you are with her? All of this may sound silly, but do you know that by simply writing down what you want, you increase your chances of getting it by 80%!

Just think about that one for a minute…

"The discipline of writing something down is the first step toward making it happen."

- Lee Iacocca

Social stigmas and why do you care?

You don’t. Our society is full of social stigmas. We’re so busy being concerned about "what others will think" that we we’re afraid to pursue our own dreams. Yes, many people love to pass judgment on others, but that’s their choice and their right. Why they do it is a larger topic for another day, but it’s really not important here. No one else can possibly know what’s right for you, so why listen to them?

A wise person once said,

"What someone else thinks about you is none of your business".

Is it true that most women want someone around their own age?

This is completely untrue! Fact is, each of us has different and unique wants and needs. Your goal and single focus should be finding the perfect woman for you. Period.

5 easy tips for attracting and dating younger women.

…

The Top 10 Online Dating Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 16:34:00 +0000

Here are the top ten most common mistakes you should avoid when contacting women online.

The following will be the most important online dating tips and advice you’ll read all year…

Don’t forget to watch the short 1-2 minute videos - just click the "Watch the Video" link under each heading.

Mistake #1: Sending her ‘just’ a wink

Watch the Video

Most internet dating sites let you send “winks” or “show interest” for free.

But what does this say to her about you?

When that really hot girl gets your wink, she sees a guy that’s not serious about wanting to contact her and too cheap to fork over the $20 membership fee.

What a wonderful way to start off a relationship… Not!

She also knows that a wink is an easy “cop-out”. Anyone can scroll through hundreds of online profiles and wink at everything that moves.

So, from her perspective, why should she spend time on you when there are dozens of guys taking the time to send her real messages every day?

Mistake #2: Not having a recent QUALITY photo in your profile

This one should be easy, but the fact is, most men do not upload their photo. The statistics on this one are very clear. Profiles with photos get 10 times more looks than those without; and profiles with QUALITY photos get 4 times more than profiles with poor photos.

Let me ask you… When you log on to a dating site and search, don’t you search for women with photos in their profile first?

Why would she be any different?

Many women will assume that you have something to hide if you won’t post your photo – like maybe your wife…

If you don’t like your photo, have a professional one made. There are many professional photo services that do nothing but create great photos for your online dating profile.

If you want to stand a chance against the other guys out there, upload a good quality photo.

Oh, one more extremely important note – make sure that you upload a RECENT photo. Nothing is more disappointing than to meet someone and realize that the picture they sent you was 20 years and 40 pounds ago!…

Revealing New Online Dating Book…

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 28 Jun 2006 16:30:00 +0000

If you have ever thought about trying online dating or if you are using online dating but having less than amazing results, this book is for you.

Don’t spend hours of wastedtime searching all over the internet trying to find out about online dating.

We have compiled everything, and I do mean everything that you need to know to meet your perfect partner online!

"Online Dating – Finding Love Online"

5 Proven Strategies for Success
and
The Top 5 Things You Should Never
Put In Your Profile

by Jennifer Hunt and Dan Baritchi

Go here to get it today!
http://www.online-dating-tips-and-guide.com

Ask Dan and Jennifer » matchmaking

Is Shyness Keeping You From the Girl of Your Dreams?

Dating Advice for Men from PerfectMatch

Calling All Animal Lovers… Dan and Jennifer Team Up With DateMyPet.com

Match.com Learns a Few Tricks from MySpace and Facebook…

Seems MySpace and Friendster Aren’t Just For Your Kids Anymore…

Dan’s a Shameless Attention Seeker…

Users: It’s NOT OK to Lie in Your Profile

ReviewPlace.com gives “Online Dating – Finding Love Online” 5 stars!!!

Read More…

Online Dating Tips – I See Someone I Like – Now What?

Frustrated with Online Dating? Nobody Checkin’ You Out?

First Date Question – How Can I Avoid the Conversation Dead Zone and Keep From Striking Out?

Online Dating Question – How Can You Spot a Fake Online Profile?

Dating and Relationship Advice – Can You Use the Law of Attraction to Find True Love?

Online Dating Question – I’m a Good Catch. Are all the Women in My Area Stupid?

Will it be Adult Friend Finder or PerfectMatch.com? Top 10 Tips for Finding the Best Online Dating Site for You…

Dating a Younger Woman in 5 Easy Steps

The Question

The Honest Answer

How can you get started in the right direction?

Social stigmas and why do you care?

Is it true that most women want someone around their own age?

The Top 10 Online Dating Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online

Mistake #1: Sending her ‘just’ a wink

Mistake #2: Not having a recent QUALITY photo in your profile

Revealing New Online Dating Book…

"Online Dating – Finding Love Online"

5 Proven Strategies for Success and The Top 5 Things You Should Never Put In Your Profile

5 Proven Strategies for Success
and
The Top 5 Things You Should Never
Put In Your Profile