It’s a totally normal and healthy thing unless you’re not the one asking for space. Then it gets uncomfortable and sometimes even awkward when your partner wants space but you’re content with closeness.

What does it mean when your partner asks for a little breathing room? Are they trying to play the field or do they really just mean what they said?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

I am seeing a girl who left her marriage one year ago and had been in another one year relationship directly following the breakup of her marriage. About 2 weeks following the breakup of her relationship I started seeing her and things are actually going very well or were going well.

 

We had a discussion about how we are spending a lot of time together and she had made a promise to herself that she wouldn’t get into a serious relationship right away. I took this as she wants to play the field and not see me.

 

What do you think?

 

- Steve, Alberta

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There are many reasons behind asking for space.

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And then something snaps, and one of you yells "I need space!" and storms out!

"I Need Space!" – What it Really Means 

It’s typically the man who needs space, but not always… Maybe it’s the pressure of the argument, maybe it’s something else. The fighting just gets to be too much… and he just can’t take it anymore. So he backs, or runs away to catch his breath and get some air.

"I Need Space" is avoidance, a cry for help from a wounded animal. The argument, the fighting, or life in general has gotten to be way too much and he needs a break from all of the stimulation.

When he says that, you should respect it as frustrating as it may be. Sure you want to understand what’s wrong, what triggered it, and at this point, how you can make it better. But that’s not always possible. Trying to approach someone who’s pulling back like this will often just push him farther away. In this emotional state, he is truly acting like a wounded animal and will likely bite if you try to approach.

So is this the first sign of a break up? Is the end in sight? 

Probably not. People argue and fight, and that’s unfortunately just a normal part of any relationship. It doesn’t necessarily mean that he wants to break up, just that he needs a break at that point. It can be as simple as that.

However, if your relationship gets into a cycle of arguing and drama all the time, it very well may lead to break up! People spend time together to find happiness, companionship, and love. Not to fight and argue. No one likes to fight all the time and eventually, someone will leave.

Clash of the Personality Types

Some people thrive on conflict, and others avoid conflict. We are all different, which is really a great thing – wouldn’t it be boring if we were all the same? But here’s where problems can start…

Those who thrive on conflict, will debate a topic until they’re completely exhausted. Others simply hate fighting and arguing, and will do anything to avoid conflict.

So for obvious reasons, a relationship between a person who thrives on conflict and a person who always avoids conflict can quickly end in a bitter break up unless they learn to work together and respect one another’s boundaries.

3 Golden Rules to Keep Fights and Arguments from Destroying Your Relationship

Here are our 3 Golden Rules for resolving disagreements and avoiding fights:…

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