What should you do if you happen to find yourself interested in older men online? Should you respond?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

 

I am an 18-and-a-half year old female who is considering heightening my age limit for dating and having sex with men to 28 or 29. I am a very mature and intellectual person. I recently joined an online dating site and several very nice, well-educated and well-endowed men who are 10 years older than me have messaged me and I’m debating whether I should talk to them or not. Is a 10 year gap when you’re 18-and-a-half always something to avoid or can it be okay?

 

– Sarah in California

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The Age Gap

As long as you’re a legal adult, you’re definitely free to date anyone you choose that is, as long as they’re a legal adult as well. Beyond that, there’s really nothing keeping you from finding interest in older men online, or even in real life, except your own needs, wants and expectations.

That said, it’s important to explore how you feel about a huge age gap between someone you are interested in online. Does it make you uncomfortable in any way? Might it make the other person uncomfortable? Are you all for it, or do you have some reservations?

Actually sitting down and really thinking about the possibility of dating someone online and even having a real life relationship with someone a lot older than you can lend some insight into the situation. This isn’t a decision that you want to make quickly or lightly, but if it’s something you really want, go for it! Just make sure you’re really ready and you’ve thought everything through first.

Different Levels Of Maturity

Sure, many women are more mature than men at an earlier age. Who doesn’t know that? But something you definitely want to consider is how very different your life can be from a man that is a lot older than you.

For example, you might never have attended college, but your dating prospect might have been through college, graduated and is divorced with two kids. It’s important to consider what you are looking for when you’re introducing yourself to other people online.

What Are You Looking For?

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