Ask Dan and Jennifer » online dating advice

Do Online, Virtual Relationships Really Work? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 19:10:56 +0000

In the world of online dating, it’s easy to build relationships with people that you’ve never met.

You get all the benefits of having a relationship with someone, but without the negatives that inherently come with a real-life relationship, for example, your online boyfriend will never leave the toilet seat up and your online girlfriend will never decorate your bachelor pad with floral prints.

But are online relationships really all they’re cracked up to be?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hi, I’ve seen some of your videos and you guys seem to give some good advice. Maybe you can help me. I’ve been in an online relationship with a girl for around 3 years. We are planning to meet this summer… But for last couple weeks we’ve been having some problems. She’s been talking to this other guy a lot online and I’ve asked her about it and she says that he’s only a “good” friend. (She has cheated on me in the past). I love her, and she says she loves me but I don’t know what to do. She never wants to talk about it. If you can give me some advice I’d really appreciate it.

–Tom, Illinois

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The Positives

Online dating definitely has it’s pluses. You can meet tons of great people who really share the same interests you do, and you can find them quickly and easily with just a few clicks of your computer mouse. Online dating is a great way to safely meet people and get to know them a little bit without some of the awkwardness that often follows a real life introduction.

In reality, however, online dating is better served as simply “online introductions.” You can use an online dating website to your advantage to meet like minded people who you would enjoy spending time with, but often times virtual dating won’t get you very far.

The Negatives

Sure, online dating websites have their perks, there’s no doubt about that. But having an online, virtual relationship? That’s definitely harder than it sounds. People were designed to be social creatures.

Humans crave being around other humans, and we all crave another human’s touch. Unfortunately, that’s the one thing that online dating websites can’t provide – physical contact and a real life relationship with another human being.

While many people spend months or even years developing these long distance, virtual relationships with people, these relationships are often lacking a lot. First off, you definitely don’t get the physical intimacy that you need, and we’re not just talking about sex here. Second, it’s really impossible to get to know everything about someone online.

Filling in the Blanks….

When Should You Take Down Your Online Dating Profile? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 13:02:49 +0000

Online dating has worked its magic. You’ve found that special someone and you’re really hitting it off with them.

When should you take down your online dating profile? Should you wait until you’re exclusive with this person before you do, or should you take down your profile on the first date?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’ve met someone I really like online. I’d like to pursue a relationship with them, but I still have my online dating profile. Should I take it down right away or leave it up in case this relationship doesn’t work out?

–Shanna, FL

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Has Your Date Taken Down Their Online Dating Profile Yet?

Many people will keep their online dating profile up on the site for quite some time, even after they’ve found a potential match or even someone they really like. Why is this? It’s somewhat like leaving your resume on a job search website.

Even though you’ve found a new job, it never hurts to have your resume out there just in case you’re contacted by a really great opportunity. It seems logical, right?

Unfortunately, this is where not being on the same page as your date can really harm your budding relationship. For example, your date might have taken their online profile down as soon as they met you.

You might not be ready to take down your profile until you’re more sure of the relationship with this person, or even vice versa. However, it can definitely be hurtful if your partner believes they’re more serious with you than you think they are.

How To Avoid Uncomfortable Situations When It Comes To Removing Your Profile

The most important thing to do when it comes to your online profile and your new online dating partner is to be open and honest with them. Really, you and your new partner are not exclusive until you’ve both sat down and talked about being exclusive. If you haven’t had that talk, you’re really both free and open to continuing to meet other people and potential matches.

If you’re really hitting it off with this particular partner, however, you might decide to have the “exclusive” talk sooner rather than later. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have to commit to each other, but it’s important to be on the same page with them.

You can start the conversation out in an open manner, such as saying, “Now that we’re dating, how do you feel about continuing to use our online dating profiles?” You can also be more frank about the issue, especially if you feel more comfortable leaving your profile up.

For example, you can say something like, “I would like to keep my online dating profile up while we’re in the beginning stages of getting to know each other.” This lets your new partner know what your plans are so there are no surprises later.

Whether you and your new partner decide to leave your profiles up or take them down, or any combination of the two, it’s most important to be open and honest with your partner so you both are on the same page. Honesty and trust are the best way to build a relationship with someone, and will give you a solid foundation to start on.

Online Dating – To Pay Or Not To Pay (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 13:18:05 +0000

In the past, online dating was seen as more “desperate” than traditional dating, but as more and more things are going online, the social stigma of online dating has all but disappeared. Now it’s more of a tool that you can use to meet people that have similar interests in your area.

There are both free sites and paid sites. The question is, which do you choose?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I just can’t seem to meet single women in Real World situations. I’ve tried to meet women on 100% free dating sites, followed the rules to the best of my abilities (being honest, having no pictures with girls in them, talk about specific hobbies and life goals, etc.), and still nothing.

My friends are bugging me to join a pay site like Match.com or eHarmony, but isn’t a PAY site just telling the world that I’m so desperate that I have to pay someone $30-$50 a month just for the POSSIBILITY of meeting women? What reason do I have to think that I’ll be anymore successful here than I was there? Are pay sites an insulting admission of desperation, or simply using another tool in the world of meeting women?

Click here to view the embedded video.

The Benefits Of Unpaid Online Dating Websites

Unpaid sites have their advantages namely you can meet people online for free. Your credit card never gets billed and you don’t have to risk paying for a service that might not ever be useful.

That is, you might never find anyone online that you’re compatible with. If you’re using a free online dating site, it’s more of a disappointment rather than a financial issue. But paid dating websites have many advantages as well. In fact, many of the popular paid online dating websites have benefits that far outweigh the drawbacks of paying for an online dating tool.

How Serious Are You?

Whether you want to pay for an online dating website service or not is up to you. You know your financial situation and you know if this is something you can commit to financially or not.

Think about this though. How serious are you about meeting someone online? If you’re simply doing it for fun or for friends and don’t mind if you never find anyone you’re compatible with, a free online dating website might be right up your alley.

However, if you’re more serious about finding someone you really enjoy spending time with and might end up being that really special someone, a paid online dating website is going to give you more of what you’re looking for.

Paying For a Membership Is a Big Commitment….

How To Get More Hits To Your Online Dating Profile

Natalie Lue — Fri, 09 May 2008 14:01:50 +0000

I’m going to premise this by saying that I can give you some tips for helping you get more ‘hits’ on your profile but I make no promises that if you write the most amazing profile on earth, you’ll find your soul mate.

A lot can happen after some winks and a flurry of emails! But until then, here are some quick tips for a more attractive online dating profile.

Use a photo!

Everyone should use a photo and it should be one that is representative of you, shows you in as flattering a light as possible, should ideally have just you in it. and should be in focus. Obviously it goes without saying; it should be YOU!

Start on a positive note

I would steer clear of saying anything that makes it sound like dating online is beneath you or that has been forced upon you. It sends the wrong message. Avoid saying anything that makes you sound like a prospect to avoid because you need to captivate them in the first couple of lines. That’s right, captivate, not scare or turn off. Be confident.

Easy on the length

They say that size matters but in this case, it’s about striking a balance between so short it seems like you don’t care, and so long, it seems like you want the person to be overwhelmed with boredom. People don’t read web pages in the same way that they read books or magazines, and are quite likely to skim, so writing the longest profile in history will hinder chances.

Leave a little mystery

Yes the profile is for telling a prospective date about yourself but if you roll out everything in the profile and tell them ever itty, bitty, little piece of info about yourself, what’s left to ask? Write enough to create curiosity and have the prospective date wanting to find out more.

Be careful of stating the obvious and suffering from ‘Those who doth protest too much’ syndrome

It’s better to be funny with your profile rather than state “I’m really funny” because…well that’s not very funny! Convey and prove your personality with whatever you write because quite frankly, I glaze over when I read “great sense of humor” and “great guy”.

And purlease steer clear of trying to ram ‘qualities’ down people’s throats. I’m really nice; I’m really honest; I’m really caring – People who are nice, honest, or caring don’t make a point of stating it, they just are these things.

But…convey your personality and qualities

…

Dating, Relationships, Love, & Sex… See Dan and Jennifer LIVE on YouTube!

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 21:45:14 +0000

See Dan & Jennifer LIVE on YouTube!

We’ve finally done it… We’re uploading videos ‘almost’ daily about dating and relationship questions, sex tips, online dating advice, and more…

You name it, it’s there. If you don’t see what you’re looking for, let us know and we’ll film it.

Click here to visit Our YouTube Channel
Be sure to subscribe to our channel on YouTube and vote for your favorite videos!

Here’s our first ever video. This is the uncut and uncensored version so the laughs and bloopers are included.

Get Online Dating Tips and Advice at OnlineDatingTips.org

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 03:55:43 +0000

Wondering if Online Dating is right for you?

Need some help getting started with Online Dating?

Looking for some tips to make your Online Dating experience better?

Then check out OnlineDatingTips.org. They’ll help you learn the ropes of dating online and finding the best dating sites for you.

If you take all the fluff and excessive ads out of the About.com dating section, you have OnlineDatingTips.org. They have a lot of the same great great information without all of the clutter.

OnlineDatingTips.org will guide you through every aspect of dating online. From the general DOs and DON’Ts of online relationships, to using the various dating services available online, they have the articles, tips, and advice you need.

At OnlineDatingTips.org you’ll find:

Quick links to some of the most successful and popular dating sites.
Tons of articles to teach you the basics of internet dating
Information to help you choose the right dating site
Tips and advice for successful dating and a lasting relationship

Here are some of our favorite articles at OnlineDatingTips.org:

They also have a great FAQ if you are still trying to decide if Online Dating is right for you.

So go check out OnlineDatingTips.org and see what they have to offer.

The Top 10 Online Dating Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 16:34:00 +0000

Here are the top ten most common mistakes you should avoid when contacting women online.

The following will be the most important online dating tips and advice you’ll read all year…

Don’t forget to watch the short 1-2 minute videos - just click the "Watch the Video" link under each heading.

Mistake #1: Sending her ‘just’ a wink

Watch the Video

Most internet dating sites let you send “winks” or “show interest” for free.

But what does this say to her about you?

When that really hot girl gets your wink, she sees a guy that’s not serious about wanting to contact her and too cheap to fork over the $20 membership fee.

What a wonderful way to start off a relationship… Not!

She also knows that a wink is an easy “cop-out”. Anyone can scroll through hundreds of online profiles and wink at everything that moves.

So, from her perspective, why should she spend time on you when there are dozens of guys taking the time to send her real messages every day?

Mistake #2: Not having a recent QUALITY photo in your profile

This one should be easy, but the fact is, most men do not upload their photo. The statistics on this one are very clear. Profiles with photos get 10 times more looks than those without; and profiles with QUALITY photos get 4 times more than profiles with poor photos.

Let me ask you… When you log on to a dating site and search, don’t you search for women with photos in their profile first?

Why would she be any different?

Many women will assume that you have something to hide if you won’t post your photo – like maybe your wife…

If you don’t like your photo, have a professional one made. There are many professional photo services that do nothing but create great photos for your online dating profile.

If you want to stand a chance against the other guys out there, upload a good quality photo.

Oh, one more extremely important note – make sure that you upload a RECENT photo. Nothing is more disappointing than to meet someone and realize that the picture they sent you was 20 years and 40 pounds ago!…