Ask Dan and Jennifer » online dating tips

Do Online, Virtual Relationships Really Work? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 19 Feb 2009 19:10:56 +0000

In the world of online dating, it’s easy to build relationships with people that you’ve never met.

You get all the benefits of having a relationship with someone, but without the negatives that inherently come with a real-life relationship, for example, your online boyfriend will never leave the toilet seat up and your online girlfriend will never decorate your bachelor pad with floral prints.

But are online relationships really all they’re cracked up to be?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hi, I’ve seen some of your videos and you guys seem to give some good advice. Maybe you can help me. I’ve been in an online relationship with a girl for around 3 years. We are planning to meet this summer… But for last couple weeks we’ve been having some problems. She’s been talking to this other guy a lot online and I’ve asked her about it and she says that he’s only a “good” friend. (She has cheated on me in the past). I love her, and she says she loves me but I don’t know what to do. She never wants to talk about it. If you can give me some advice I’d really appreciate it.

–Tom, Illinois

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The Positives

Online dating definitely has it’s pluses. You can meet tons of great people who really share the same interests you do, and you can find them quickly and easily with just a few clicks of your computer mouse. Online dating is a great way to safely meet people and get to know them a little bit without some of the awkwardness that often follows a real life introduction.

In reality, however, online dating is better served as simply “online introductions.” You can use an online dating website to your advantage to meet like minded people who you would enjoy spending time with, but often times virtual dating won’t get you very far.

The Negatives

Sure, online dating websites have their perks, there’s no doubt about that. But having an online, virtual relationship? That’s definitely harder than it sounds. People were designed to be social creatures.

Humans crave being around other humans, and we all crave another human’s touch. Unfortunately, that’s the one thing that online dating websites can’t provide – physical contact and a real life relationship with another human being.

While many people spend months or even years developing these long distance, virtual relationships with people, these relationships are often lacking a lot. First off, you definitely don’t get the physical intimacy that you need, and we’re not just talking about sex here. Second, it’s really impossible to get to know everything about someone online.

Filling in the Blanks….

When Should You Take Down Your Online Dating Profile? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 13:02:49 +0000

Online dating has worked its magic. You’ve found that special someone and you’re really hitting it off with them.

When should you take down your online dating profile? Should you wait until you’re exclusive with this person before you do, or should you take down your profile on the first date?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’ve met someone I really like online. I’d like to pursue a relationship with them, but I still have my online dating profile. Should I take it down right away or leave it up in case this relationship doesn’t work out?

–Shanna, FL

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Has Your Date Taken Down Their Online Dating Profile Yet?

Many people will keep their online dating profile up on the site for quite some time, even after they’ve found a potential match or even someone they really like. Why is this? It’s somewhat like leaving your resume on a job search website.

Even though you’ve found a new job, it never hurts to have your resume out there just in case you’re contacted by a really great opportunity. It seems logical, right?

Unfortunately, this is where not being on the same page as your date can really harm your budding relationship. For example, your date might have taken their online profile down as soon as they met you.

You might not be ready to take down your profile until you’re more sure of the relationship with this person, or even vice versa. However, it can definitely be hurtful if your partner believes they’re more serious with you than you think they are.

How To Avoid Uncomfortable Situations When It Comes To Removing Your Profile

The most important thing to do when it comes to your online profile and your new online dating partner is to be open and honest with them. Really, you and your new partner are not exclusive until you’ve both sat down and talked about being exclusive. If you haven’t had that talk, you’re really both free and open to continuing to meet other people and potential matches.

If you’re really hitting it off with this particular partner, however, you might decide to have the “exclusive” talk sooner rather than later. This doesn’t necessarily mean you have to commit to each other, but it’s important to be on the same page with them.

You can start the conversation out in an open manner, such as saying, “Now that we’re dating, how do you feel about continuing to use our online dating profiles?” You can also be more frank about the issue, especially if you feel more comfortable leaving your profile up.

For example, you can say something like, “I would like to keep my online dating profile up while we’re in the beginning stages of getting to know each other.” This lets your new partner know what your plans are so there are no surprises later.

Whether you and your new partner decide to leave your profiles up or take them down, or any combination of the two, it’s most important to be open and honest with your partner so you both are on the same page. Honesty and trust are the best way to build a relationship with someone, and will give you a solid foundation to start on.

Online Dating – To Pay Or Not To Pay (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 02 Feb 2009 13:18:05 +0000

In the past, online dating was seen as more “desperate” than traditional dating, but as more and more things are going online, the social stigma of online dating has all but disappeared. Now it’s more of a tool that you can use to meet people that have similar interests in your area.

There are both free sites and paid sites. The question is, which do you choose?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I just can’t seem to meet single women in Real World situations. I’ve tried to meet women on 100% free dating sites, followed the rules to the best of my abilities (being honest, having no pictures with girls in them, talk about specific hobbies and life goals, etc.), and still nothing.

My friends are bugging me to join a pay site like Match.com or eHarmony, but isn’t a PAY site just telling the world that I’m so desperate that I have to pay someone $30-$50 a month just for the POSSIBILITY of meeting women? What reason do I have to think that I’ll be anymore successful here than I was there? Are pay sites an insulting admission of desperation, or simply using another tool in the world of meeting women?

Click here to view the embedded video.

The Benefits Of Unpaid Online Dating Websites

Unpaid sites have their advantages namely you can meet people online for free. Your credit card never gets billed and you don’t have to risk paying for a service that might not ever be useful.

That is, you might never find anyone online that you’re compatible with. If you’re using a free online dating site, it’s more of a disappointment rather than a financial issue. But paid dating websites have many advantages as well. In fact, many of the popular paid online dating websites have benefits that far outweigh the drawbacks of paying for an online dating tool.

How Serious Are You?

Whether you want to pay for an online dating website service or not is up to you. You know your financial situation and you know if this is something you can commit to financially or not.

Think about this though. How serious are you about meeting someone online? If you’re simply doing it for fun or for friends and don’t mind if you never find anyone you’re compatible with, a free online dating website might be right up your alley.

However, if you’re more serious about finding someone you really enjoy spending time with and might end up being that really special someone, a paid online dating website is going to give you more of what you’re looking for.

Paying For a Membership Is a Big Commitment….

Should A Hot Young Girl Meet Older Well Endowed Men Online? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 12 Nov 2008 00:38:34 +0000

Online dating, or online introductions, really, opens you up to contact with people of all different shapes, sizes, ages and walks of life. You’ll meet different types of people that you probably would never have met otherwise, and exploring this can be really fun.

What should you do if you happen to find yourself interested in older men online? Should you respond?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I am an 18-and-a-half year old female who is considering heightening my age limit for dating and having sex with men to 28 or 29. I am a very mature and intellectual person. I recently joined an online dating site and several very nice, well-educated and well-endowed men who are 10 years older than me have messaged me and I’m debating whether I should talk to them or not. Is a 10 year gap when you’re 18-and-a-half always something to avoid or can it be okay?

– Sarah in California

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The Age Gap

As long as you’re a legal adult, you’re definitely free to date anyone you choose that is, as long as they’re a legal adult as well. Beyond that, there’s really nothing keeping you from finding interest in older men online, or even in real life, except your own needs, wants and expectations.

That said, it’s important to explore how you feel about a huge age gap between someone you are interested in online. Does it make you uncomfortable in any way? Might it make the other person uncomfortable? Are you all for it, or do you have some reservations?

Actually sitting down and really thinking about the possibility of dating someone online and even having a real life relationship with someone a lot older than you can lend some insight into the situation. This isn’t a decision that you want to make quickly or lightly, but if it’s something you really want, go for it! Just make sure you’re really ready and you’ve thought everything through first.

Different Levels Of Maturity

Sure, many women are more mature than men at an earlier age. Who doesn’t know that? But something you definitely want to consider is how very different your life can be from a man that is a lot older than you.

For example, you might never have attended college, but your dating prospect might have been through college, graduated and is divorced with two kids. It’s important to consider what you are looking for when you’re introducing yourself to other people online.

What Are You Looking For?

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Online Dating Profile: Anatomy Of A Great Opening Paragraph

Dylan Alexander — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 13:57:53 +0000

Wouldn’t it be great if people read your entire profile simply out of respect for the effort you put into it?

The sad truth about profiles

Sadly, this is the opposite of reality. The truth is, people rarely read all the way through your profile before deciding to move on. The second they get bored, they close it and skip to the next person… usually before the end of the first paragraph!

So, is not reading the whole profile the fault of the reader for not having a great attention span? No. It is the fault of the writer for not hooking them in the first paragraph!

The opening hook

Most online daters fail to appreciate the importance of the “opening paragraph hook.” This is a critical tool in any writing, but especially in online dating profiles, where you must get your reader, man or woman, to become involved in your profile enough to want to see it all the way through.

Your first paragraph is absolutely the most critical in your profile. It sets the tone for your entire piece. It hooks the reader. It gets them curious, and makes them want to read more.

Consider this… when you pick up a magazine or newspaper and start reading an article, if you get bored during the first paragraph, how much more do you usually read? NONE OF IT. And that’s exactly what’s happening with the people reading your profile, they aren’t getting hooked and are wandering off.

How to lose their attention

Want to know one of the best things you can write to lose their attention immediately?

Try this:

"I hate writing these. It’s so hard to describe everything about yourself in words. Each time I do I feel I never come close enough to who I really am. Oh well, I guess I have to put something, so here it goes."

In this common and pessimistic paragraph, you are telling the reader that you are uncreative, lacking personal insight, and just as average as every other online dater out there who starts their profile the same way. This is a bad way to kick off your profile!

How about this one…

Online Dating: 10 Ways To Avoid Stalkers and Assorted Nutcases

Public Records Search — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 21:17:38 +0000

With the fast pace of daily life, many people are looking for a more efficient way of doing everything—including dating. More and more people are turning to the internet as a way of meeting prospective partners.

Though online dating may be helpful, it also comes with its own set of risks. Follow these tips to protect yourself while seeking out love online.

1. Avoid Free Dating Sites

While free sites may save you money, they’ll probably cost you time and can even jeopardize your safety. These sites don’t run background checks on individuals to weed out would-be fakers and scammers.

This means you’ll have to sift through endless profiles while trying to use your best judgment as to whether Roger or Michael look like people more interested in stealing your money than stealing your heart.

Also, people who pay for dating services are more likely to be seriously interested in building a relationship, rather than looking for a minimally committed, casual relationship, so if true love is your goal, isn’t that worth a few bucks?

2. Limit the Amount of Information You Provide

Resist the urge to tell your life story, listing everything from your occupation to your first dog named Cuddles. This is not only annoying – it’s also dangerous.

With today’s technology, all anyone needs is something as simple as your home phone number or last name to figure out things like your address and income information. Now’s the chance to play the role you’ve always wanted to: the mysterious temptress.

3. Use an Anonymous E-mail Address

Your best bet is to set up an email account you use solely for internet dating and make sure not to include specific identifying information in the address itself. SoccerFan123 works better than JaneDoefromChicago. For regular mail, set up a P.O. Box.

4. Be Honest

While you don’t want to provide too much information about yourself, you also shouldn’t lie. Don’t set up false expectations by concealing the truth. This will only lead to resentment later. For dating both online and off, honesty is your best policy.

5. Do Your Own Research

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Find Out If Your New Partner Has Ever Been Married

Public Records Search — Wed, 13 Aug 2008 13:39:06 +0000

Did you just meet a “perfect 10” on your favorite dating site and want to know whether or not they have a past that wasn’t disclosed on their glowing online profile? You’re not alone.

Guide to Searching for Marriage and Divorce Records

There are plenty of reasons to search for marriage and divorce records, especially when it pertains to someone who you are dating or may potentially date. In the age of online matchmaking, dating has taken on more of an anonymous face. Luckily, even though online dating is evolving quickly, there are resources available to someone who wants to do a little background research on their potential partner.

Marriage records generally give basic information: who got married and when and where it happened. Divorce records, on the other hand, can provide juicy and useful information about the stated cause of the divorce, alimony agreements, and child custody just to name a few.

The rules regarding marriage and divorce documents differ from state to state. In some states, only certain people (like parents, siblings, or adult children) can access marriage and divorce records. However, in other states marriage and divorce documents are considered public records. Being public record means that anyone can access them for free.

This explains why celebrities and politicians often have scandalous details publicized during their divorces; anyone can read the divorce decree. But even though the information is available in theory, you still have to find the records, and that can be tricky.

Action Steps:

Here are the steps to take to locate and (if you want, obtain) a marriage certificate or divorce decree.

Search Offline

Marriage and divorce records can be obtained through low-tech means. If the records you are looking are local (or if you have a hankering for a road trip) you can attempt to find the records in person. Another option is to write to the appropriate place, requesting the records.

Whether you go in person or write, the tricky part of this low-tech option is finding where the records are held. Most of the time, marriage and divorce records are handled by individual states. (Sometimes, like in the case of New York City, they are handled by individual municipalities.) The correct institution to go or write to depends on the state where the marriage or divorce took place. To find out the name and address of where the records you seek are held, you can check out the CDC’s website on vital records.

Be Prepared to Pay a Fee

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How To Get More Hits To Your Online Dating Profile

Natalie Lue — Fri, 09 May 2008 14:01:50 +0000

I’m going to premise this by saying that I can give you some tips for helping you get more ‘hits’ on your profile but I make no promises that if you write the most amazing profile on earth, you’ll find your soul mate.

A lot can happen after some winks and a flurry of emails! But until then, here are some quick tips for a more attractive online dating profile.

Use a photo!

Everyone should use a photo and it should be one that is representative of you, shows you in as flattering a light as possible, should ideally have just you in it. and should be in focus. Obviously it goes without saying; it should be YOU!

Start on a positive note

I would steer clear of saying anything that makes it sound like dating online is beneath you or that has been forced upon you. It sends the wrong message. Avoid saying anything that makes you sound like a prospect to avoid because you need to captivate them in the first couple of lines. That’s right, captivate, not scare or turn off. Be confident.

Easy on the length

They say that size matters but in this case, it’s about striking a balance between so short it seems like you don’t care, and so long, it seems like you want the person to be overwhelmed with boredom. People don’t read web pages in the same way that they read books or magazines, and are quite likely to skim, so writing the longest profile in history will hinder chances.

Leave a little mystery

Yes the profile is for telling a prospective date about yourself but if you roll out everything in the profile and tell them ever itty, bitty, little piece of info about yourself, what’s left to ask? Write enough to create curiosity and have the prospective date wanting to find out more.

Be careful of stating the obvious and suffering from ‘Those who doth protest too much’ syndrome

It’s better to be funny with your profile rather than state “I’m really funny” because…well that’s not very funny! Convey and prove your personality with whatever you write because quite frankly, I glaze over when I read “great sense of humor” and “great guy”.

And purlease steer clear of trying to ram ‘qualities’ down people’s throats. I’m really nice; I’m really honest; I’m really caring – People who are nice, honest, or caring don’t make a point of stating it, they just are these things.

But…convey your personality and qualities

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9 Tips for Better Online Dating Profile Pictures

Natalie Lue — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 14:18:07 +0000

One of the best ways to capture someone’s interest when dating online, is a great picture.

One that is blurry, outdated, is of you and your kids, or a group of people might not be the best choice.

Here are nine tips for choosing the best picture to get their attention.

Start by having a picture in your personals profile

When your photo is absent from your personals profile it says that you’re scared of something.

Now it doesn’t matter that you may be scared of someone who knows you discovering that you meet people online; the lack of photo may be interpreted as:

too scared for people to see what you look like
you’re hiding something

Pictures will give you a far higher rate of success. Rather than go through the rigmerole of not putting up a photo, them asking you for one, and then giving them one, and then maybe hearing from them, maybe not hearing from them….jeez, I’m exhausted just typing that. Just put up your picture.

I beg you to choose a decent photo

Let’s cut the BS. Online dating sites are like a marketplace full of…products…some would say ‘cattle’. Now, much like in the supermarket, eye-catching and attractive products that market themselves well, rise up the shelf for people to see them.

If you fail to choose a photo that represents you in the best light, you are adding extra work to a prospective pursuer because they end up having to ‘visualize’ what you may look like when you’re not clowning around/obscuring your face/making dumb faces/fading into the dark. They may read the finer detail (your profile) but coupled with a decent photo, you have a higher chance of success.

Choose a photo that is representative of you

I’m not even going to let you read between the lines of this – Do not under any circumstances use a photo that you borrowed out of a magazine, royalty-free image service, or the photo frame you just brought. This is the dating equivalent of a violation of the trade description act.

Opt for a photo that has you looking relaxed/happy/friendly

You may think that pouting or setting your jaw makes you look hot but other people may think you’re a bit scary. People don’t want to decipher whether you are mean and moody like your picture – let your photo reflect the positives about you that you should have been mentioning in the written part of the profile.

Don’t be obscure or abstract

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5 Dating Don’ts for Divorced Dads

Jason Likert — Wed, 02 Apr 2008 22:32:18 +0000

Dating as a divorced dad has the potential to feel like writing with the opposite hand; it’s the same dating you’re used to doing, but you’re going to be doing it differently.

As a married man you’re used to going out on dates with your spouse. Dates could be simple things like a trip to a local outdoor market, maybe dinner, and then home.

Perhaps they were a quiet dinner and then a movie before bed. They had the potential to be quality time spent with your spouse doing things you both enjoyed together.

Now that you’re back "in the wild" dating could be a huge eye-opener for you. The things that worked while you were married may not work now that you’re single and looking.

1. Don’t Talk About Your Past Marriage

This is the cardinal rule for dating after divorce. Don’t talk about your marriage unless specifically asked and keep it to a minimum. Use your best judgment about what you can share but any discussion of your ex can lead to more questions that you may not want to answer. Early in the relationship anything you say can, and will, be held against you for future reference.

2. Don’t Get Into a Rut

It’s easy to get comfortable doing the same thing over and over again like going to the same places for dinner over and over again. Don’t bring your date to the same place for dinner often; it’s monotonous and has the potential to tell your date that you aren’t original. Not only that you’re telling her that you’re possibly mundane and boring.

This leads me to the next point.

3. Don’t Skip The Romance

Women love romance. They thrive on it in many shapes and fashions. Remember to keep this in mind when planning a date. Do something romantic like taking her to a romantic show or a fancier restaurant. If you are going to cook her a meal, decorate your place with roses, a nice wine, relaxing and romantic music she enjoys and make her feel special.

Romance is about showing your lady how much you enjoy making her happy and showing her how you feel. Many guys that I know are romantic with their ladies even if they aren’t good at telling them how they feel.

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Dating the Wrong People? Change Your Dating Ideal

Click by Lavalife, Shawn Conner — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 14:31:21 +0000

Rachel had a problem. A serial dater of musicians, she’d finally had enough of their broke-ass, wannabe rock star ways.

The Rock Star

Substance abuse issues, financial woes, and ceaseless yammering about plans for their bands had given her a bad case of the "what-am-I-doing-with-my-life?" panic. At 35, the fashion-and-lifestyles writer for a big-city daily newspaper realized that, if she was ever going to have a family, the way to go about it wasn’t risking her hearing and sanity at noisy dives ’til 2 in the morning.

The object of desire that had seemed so exciting in her 20s and early-30s — the non-committal man who was always the center of attention and could hold his own in a conversation about Exile on Main Street — suddenly seemed like a dead-end. It was time for a change.

But deciding to make such an alteration is one thing. Actually following up is quite another. After all, Rachel was a rock ‘n’ roller at heart who had worshiped at the altar of Mick Jagger for most of her life.

What was she going to do with a stable and financially secure 9-to-5er who golfs on weekends? But then she met Ben — a secure, older guy whose idea of a wild time was speaking Klingon at a Star Trek convention. More on him later.

Most of us have an ideal in mind, a list of desirable qualities we carry around with us. These may be traceable to all manner of formative experiences — childhood attachments, pop culture milestones, sub-conscious archetypes (if you follow Jung).

Is it purely physical?

On the surface, this could mean a preference for hair color, body type and/or foreign accents. For instance, Madeline, like Rachel, has had a predilection for the bad boy/rock star type, but says, "I’m not sure it’s so much what they do as how they look."

The 34-year-old philosophy professor traces her preferred physical type back to reruns of the old Little Rascals TV show. "My first crush was on Alfalfa," she says. "I still like that type, I guess — dark hair, pale skin, kind of gaunt-looking." Which, it just so happens, matches the look of a couple of musicians she’s dated.

Or maybe it goes a little deeper?

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Top 10 Most Common Online Dating Mistakes

Natalie Lue — Tue, 19 Feb 2008 14:32:24 +0000

Not having any luck dating online?

You may be making these mistakes.

1. Being a Winking, IM’ng, and Email Whore

Imagine if you went to a club and winked at someone all night, maybe even leered at them and you hadn’t introduced yourself yet?

Imagine that you kept knocking on someone’s door or leaving umpteen messages for them even though they didn’t so much as know your name?

Yes…they probably would think you were strange and potentially a stalker….

Dating online on one hand puts distance between people but in another way creates an immediacy and intensity that can become very uncomfortable when you don’t know or barely know the person.

Slow your roll and don’t bombard. Remember that all you have seen is a photo, read a profile, or even had a brief bit of communication.

2. Using Sexual References in Profile Names

I don’t care how big your penis is, how great you are in bed, how big your boobs are, or anything else to do with sex. Would you wear a sign around your neck broadcasting these things in the ‘real’ world? Oh hell no!

Using sexual references in your profile name set the tone from the outset and establish you as someone who is on the pull, looking for sex. Whilst you may think that it helps you stand out, you will do, but it won’t be for the right reasons.

3. Not reading the profile – RFTP

This is what I call ‘Read The Effing Profile’! Let’s take it back to the real world again. Imagine that I advertise to fill the position of ‘Software Engineer,

Must have 3 years experience minimum and be proficient in X, Y, Z’ and I get inundated with people who have never done this job, are proficient in A, B, and C, but not X,Y, and Z. It is annoying!

Now I know that this is dating and we’re all hoping that that special someone will give us a chance, but considering that the very basis of online dating is filling out a profile and stating your criteria, it seems very redundant that the bulk of people don’t bother to read the profile…

4. Focusing on sexually charged conversation

I am amazed at how quickly people go from winking, to talking about sex and flashing their private parts over email! If you were having this type of contact so quickly in the ‘real’ world, it is likely that things wouldn’t go anywhere serious very fast…and it’s the same in the virtual world.

If all you want is some sexual fun, knock yourself out, but be wary of engaging in this type of sexual banter if you are genuinely on the lookout for a relationship because it does set the tone.

5. Lousy Photos

Either use a decent one or don’t bother. Out of focus, fake ones, pictures of anything but you, confusing ones with kids and other women or men in them. You get the picture.

Choose a photo that has you looking at your best. You are effectively advertising yourself to a prospective date and whilst it isn’t about the superficial, once you decide to use a photo, use a good one because it is likely to be what is used to determine whether to read the profile (yes some people do this) or make contact.

6. Bad spelling and grammar

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Finding Love Online This Valentine’s Day and The Perfect Last Minute Gift Idea…

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 14 Feb 2008 17:10:55 +0000

"Love Bytes!"

That’s what more and more people are saying this Valentine’s Day.

KFWB’s Jennifer Bauman looks at how the internet has grown into the matchmaker of this millennium.

Here’s a KFBW Exclusive Featuring Jennifer Bauman from KFBW and Dan and Jennifer from AskDanAndJennifer.com

Are you looking for your true love this Valentine’s Day? KFWB’s Jennifer Bauman says they may be waiting for you online.

Online dating gives people looking for love more options. KFWB’s Jennifer Bauman checks in with some experts to see what attracts people to Internet "hook-ups."

Online dating is gaining in popularity, but not all singles are logging on to try a match made in Web heaven. KFWB’s Jennifer Bauman says age may be a factor.

Perhaps you’ve decided to give online dating a try this Valentine’s Day. KFWB’s Jennifer Bauman gets tips from experts on the best way to get started.

Romance may be blossoming on the Web, but there are still concerns about the safety of online dating. KFWB’s Jennifer Bauman helps new users spot the phonies.

The majority of Internet singles who’ve tried internet dating say they’ve had a positive experience. KFWB’s Jennifer Bauman looks at some success stories.

The Perfect Last Minute Valentine’s Gift Idea

Everyone else is scrambling to buy their loved one a special thing or another… chocolate, diamonds, flowers, and so on… Stuff. Basically the same old thing.

Wouldn’t it be nice to stand out and give something unexpected?

Material things can be nice, but they’re worth so much less than something personal, something that really touches that special person in your life and brings them joy.

Why not give the gift of true pleasure and ecstasy to your loved one?

Guys: Here’s the gift most women secretly fantasize about but would NEVER tell their mate…
Lick by Lick – How to Go Down on a Woman and Have Her Begging for More

Ladies: Give your man the most incredible **shock and awe** this Valentines Day with this gift…
Blow by Blow – A Tasteful Guide on How to Give Mind-Blowing Blow Jobs

Each of these gifts comes with tons of free bonus material plus a special Valentine’s Day bonus!

Remember, what ultimately matters most is living a life filled with joy, love, and laughter starting right now.

Happy Valentines Day and Best Wishes.
Dan & Jennifer

Online Dating: The Single Mom Conundrum

Click by Lavalife, Lola Augustine Brown — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 14:57:13 +0000

I’m a single mom and my child is the first thing on my mind at all times. But I don’t want to be defined by my single-mom status.

I am so much more than that and besides, the label has such depressing connotations — desperation, loneliness, sadness. Yet I am none of those things. So when it comes to online dating, when is the ideal time to reveal your single-parent status?

My first ad on Lavalife was honest. I said that I was a single mom but not looking for anyone to rescue me, thank you very much. I got a few hits from really strange guys. One sexy guy smiled at me, but said he’d only be interested in some fun, as he’d had enough of the single mother type. I was furious. I’m not a type just because I’ve had a child. So after some depressing experiences, I’ve stopped mentioning my child in my ad.

Is that wrong?

"No," says Sherrie Schneider, co-author of The Rules for Online Dating, "Nowhere in your ad should you mention your children. Don’t say that you love hugging your three-year-old, talking walks with your teen and never, ever, post a photograph online that shows you with your kids."

Its not that Schneider advocates pretending that the kids don’t exist. If there’s a fact box to check that asks whether you have any, you should check yes, but you shouldn’t offer any further info on the topic if you want to attract a man.

Operating on a need-to-know basis is also advocated by Sharon McKenna, author of Sex and the Single Mother. "It seems deceptive not to disclose it, but unless they ask you directly or you’re out on a date and it seems like there’s a real chance of romance, telling them isn’t necessary," she says, "But, if it feels like something good could develop, you need to tell them straight away."

One single mom I know, Ally*, admitted to placing two ads, one that mentions her child and one that doesn’t. "My barren ad attracted more men," she says, "It’s like the Internet mimics the real world. Who knew?"

Strangely enough, being a single dad doesn’t seem to have the same effect on the number of hits you get or mean that you only hear from single moms. James says that his ad, which mentions that his children are the most important thing in his life, brings him lots of dates. "Honestly, I think that women feel like I’m less likely to be a jerk because I’m a dad," he says, "Which is probably true to some extent, as having children made me become a lot more mature and dependable than my childless friends."

When looking through personal ads it can be cringe-inducing to see how some guys use their kids to show you how nice they are. Putting pictures of your kids up on a dating site is pretty creepy whether you are male or female. But when browsing through ads, this tends to be something guys do much more readily. "I would never do that," says James, "My kids aren’t some kind of bargaining chips for me to show what cute babies I can make."

Another friend, Helen, always mentions her son somewhere in her profile, though she does it discreetly. "As much as I am looking for someone, I am screening people as well," she says, "I wouldn’t want to be with someone who dislikes children or doesn’t get the limitations that having a child places on dating. For example, I cannot just go on spontaneous dates or away for a weekend without enough notice to get a sitter."

I had a few interesting IM chats with a guy who seemed interesting but just didn’t get the single parent thing even though we’d discussed it (briefly). He’d email me in the middle of the day and ask if we could meet for drinks that evening, then get irritated when I’d say no. He just couldn’t understand that it was impossible to get away with an hour’s notice. Needless to say, we never actually met in real life.

Before you do actually drop the bombshell that you are a mom…

Are There Any Good Free Dating Sites? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 13 Nov 2007 02:42:32 +0000

So you’ve decided to try online dating, but where do you look?

Online dating services are popping up daily on the internet, making the decision of choosing the "right" dating service a bit overwhelming.

More importantly, are there any good FREE dating sites or do you have to pull out your credit card?

Here’s a question from Jeff in North Carolina who is very frustrated with the ‘free’ dating site options…

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I’ve been looking on-line now for two months to find a real woman. All I get is nothing…

Free sites. What the heck do they think free means? I’m not giving anyone money for sex.

My question : Is there a place I can go to get free date or sex sites?

–Jeff, North Carolina

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

Don’t forget. Click here to Give this Video 5 Stars on YouTube and Subscribe to Ask Dan And Jennifer so you’ll stay up to date with our latest videos.

Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts – leave a comment below.

Are There Any Good Free Dating or Sex Sites?

I have one thing to say on this…

Online Dating Shocker – Are All the Men Really Fat and Ugly? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 08 May 2007 13:02:42 +0000

So you’ve finally created an account on your favorite online dating site. You’re so excited.

But when the search results come back, you’re left speechless.

Where are all of the really hot profile photos that the dating site shows on their home page? Did they all just quit?

Well, not exactly. Most online dating websites put their best photos on the home page. Online dating, like offline dating is a numbers game. A very small percentage of the population is what most people would consider good looking, and even fewer are what most people would consider ‘hot’.

Does this mean that only desperate men and women upload photos online. Definitely not! There are many reasons that very successful and very attractive people join online dating sites.

Maybe they’re too busy to hang out at the local club or just don’t want waste their time actually meeting people with which they have nothing in common. Meeting people online does has the very distinct advantage of allowing you to pre-screen potential dates before spending 2 hours over dinner or movie.

However, the numbers are still true… There will be more unattractive people than really ‘hot’ ones. That just the reality of being human. Keep in mind however that ‘attractive’ is a very subjective term. It means something different to everyone.

So be patient in your search and if you sign up to a dating site that uses a matching algorithm, make sure to fill in as many details as possible so that you’ll get the best matches.

Here’s a question from a very frustrated woman in New York…

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I just scrolled through at least 90 online dating photos and not one of the men was handsome enough to pursue.

I have done this just a few times… The few men that were handsome are 25 or 27 at most. It just shows how men feel it’s ok to neglect themselves. Most women will throw themselves at anything…

I will not go by looks alone but I must start with something. The rep at eHarmony tried to make me feel badly that I was considering looks and physical appeal. I will not back down or apologize for that.

It seems the axiom that if a man is handsome and on the ball he will rarely put himself on an online dating site. Let’s face it isn’t that true? Why would a man need to do that if he’s got the looks and personality?

It is very disheartening and awful…

– Lisa in New York

Watch this short video to see our answer to the question "Are all the men really fat and ugly?".

Don’t forget to go to YouTube and rate the video and subscribe to our channel.

Then, be sure to tell us your thoughts - leave a comment below.

Online Dating – How to Avoid the Single Biggest Mistake Most People Make (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 13:00:37 +0000

So what so you think is the single biggest mistake that most men – and women- make with online dating?

Put simply, most people use the shotgun approach to dating and hope to hit something, anything. They put no thought into what they are actually looking to get out of online dating or the type of person and relationship they’re really looking for.

And then they wonder why they’re not happy with the people they meet.

Not exactly the best approach for the most important aspect of your life, is it?

Watch this short video to find out how you can avoid this fatal mistake…

Don’t forget to go to YouTube and rate the video and subscribe to our channel.

Then, be sure to tell us your thoughts - leave a comment below.

Also check out the full article: Online Dating Blunders – The Top 10 Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online

Online Dating Safety for Men – Web Cam Girls, Identify Theft, and More (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 02:03:00 +0000

Just when you thought it was safe to try Online Dating...

It seems that with Online Dating it’s often the men, rather than the women who are getting preyed upon.

You can avoid being taken advantage of by being well informed and taking a few safety precautions.

Think these things can’t happen to you? Think again!

Identity theft? But her online profile looked really hot. There must be some mistake.
Why is she asking for my credit card to "see her special private photos?"
What’s a web cam girl and why do you care?

Watch this short video to find out how you can avoid becoming a victim…

Then, be sure to also check out the full article: Online Dating Blunders – The Top 10 Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online

Online Dating – How to Get Her to Actually Respond to You (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 24 Mar 2007 22:40:45 +0000

You can avoid this critical mistake that many men make with Online Dating.

So, you’ve found a girl that you’d like to meet. Now, what do you say to her in that crucial first email?

How do you capture her interest so that she’ll actually give you a chance?

And… what are the biggest things to avoid saying to women online?

Watch this short 2 minute video to find out the answers to these questions and more…

Then, be sure to also check out the full article: Online Dating Blunders – The Top 10 Mistakes Men Make When Contacting Women Online

Get Online Dating Tips and Advice at OnlineDatingTips.org

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 22 Mar 2007 03:55:43 +0000

Wondering if Online Dating is right for you?

Need some help getting started with Online Dating?

Looking for some tips to make your Online Dating experience better?

Then check out OnlineDatingTips.org. They’ll help you learn the ropes of dating online and finding the best dating sites for you.

If you take all the fluff and excessive ads out of the About.com dating section, you have OnlineDatingTips.org. They have a lot of the same great great information without all of the clutter.

OnlineDatingTips.org will guide you through every aspect of dating online. From the general DOs and DON’Ts of online relationships, to using the various dating services available online, they have the articles, tips, and advice you need.

At OnlineDatingTips.org you’ll find:

Quick links to some of the most successful and popular dating sites.
Tons of articles to teach you the basics of internet dating
Information to help you choose the right dating site
Tips and advice for successful dating and a lasting relationship

Here are some of our favorite articles at OnlineDatingTips.org:

They also have a great FAQ if you are still trying to decide if Online Dating is right for you.

So go check out OnlineDatingTips.org and see what they have to offer.

Ask Dan and Jennifer » online dating tips

Do Online, Virtual Relationships Really Work? (Video)

The Positives

The Negatives

Filling in the Blanks….

When Should You Take Down Your Online Dating Profile? (Video)

Has Your Date Taken Down Their Online Dating Profile Yet?

How To Avoid Uncomfortable Situations When It Comes To Removing Your Profile

Online Dating – To Pay Or Not To Pay (Video)

The Benefits Of Unpaid Online Dating Websites

How Serious Are You?

Paying For a Membership Is a Big Commitment….

Should A Hot Young Girl Meet Older Well Endowed Men Online? (Video)

The Age Gap

Different Levels Of Maturity

What Are You Looking For?

Online Dating Profile: Anatomy Of A Great Opening Paragraph

The sad truth about profiles

The opening hook

How to lose their attention

Online Dating: 10 Ways To Avoid Stalkers and Assorted Nutcases

1. Avoid Free Dating Sites

2. Limit the Amount of Information You Provide

3. Use an Anonymous E-mail Address

4. Be Honest

5. Do Your Own Research

Find Out If Your New Partner Has Ever Been Married

Guide to Searching for Marriage and Divorce Records

Action Steps:

Search Offline

Be Prepared to Pay a Fee

How To Get More Hits To Your Online Dating Profile

Use a photo!

Start on a positive note

Easy on the length

Leave a little mystery

Be careful of stating the obvious and suffering from ‘Those who doth protest too much’ syndrome

But…convey your personality and qualities

9 Tips for Better Online Dating Profile Pictures

Start by having a picture in your personals profile

I beg you to choose a decent photo

Choose a photo that is representative of you

Opt for a photo that has you looking relaxed/happy/friendly

Don’t be obscure or abstract

5 Dating Don’ts for Divorced Dads

1. Don’t Talk About Your Past Marriage

2. Don’t Get Into a Rut

3. Don’t Skip The Romance

Dating the Wrong People? Change Your Dating Ideal

The Rock Star

Is it purely physical?

Or maybe it goes a little deeper?

Top 10 Most Common Online Dating Mistakes

1. Being a Winking, IM’ng, and Email Whore

2. Using Sexual References in Profile Names

3. Not reading the profile – RFTP

4. Focusing on sexually charged conversation

5. Lousy Photos

6. Bad spelling and grammar

Finding Love Online This Valentine’s Day and The Perfect Last Minute Gift Idea…

"Love Bytes!"

The Perfect Last Minute Valentine’s Gift Idea

Online Dating: The Single Mom Conundrum

Are There Any Good Free Dating Sites? (Video)

Are There Any Good Free Dating or Sex Sites?

Online Dating Shocker – Are All the Men Really Fat and Ugly? (Video)

Online Dating – How to Avoid the Single Biggest Mistake Most People Make (Video)

Read More…

Online Dating Safety for Men – Web Cam Girls, Identify Theft, and More (Video)

Read More…

Online Dating – How to Get Her to Actually Respond to You (Video)

Read More…

Get Online Dating Tips and Advice at OnlineDatingTips.org