Ask Dan and Jennifer » pick up women

How To Use Body Language to Attract Women

Tiffany Taylor — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 15:21:06 +0000

Human body language is an excessively well-researched and -documented field of scientific study. Today we’re not going to be re-defining the rules of non-verbal communication.

What we will be doing, however, is looking at some examples of male body language which, once adopted by a man, have been shown to increase his appearance as being confident, self-assured, relaxed and masculine which, together, make him more attractive to the opposite sex.

Let’s start with movement.

Movement

The way we men move says a couple of different things about us. First, there’s the movement we’re making. What is the purpose of the movement? What is the motivation behind it? Then there is the way the movement is performed.

For example, a guy is sitting within a group of people in a bar and they are all talking to one another. He leans towards the table to pick up his drink and take a sip of it. That is the movement. Now what is the motivation behind it? He could be thirsty. More importantly, how does he make the movement?

He leans forward quickly, grabs the drink, takes a quick sip, then leans back to place the glass on the table once more. The movement lasted about 3 seconds. After witnessing the movement, the chances are that a woman would conclude the man reached for his drink not because he was thirsty, but because he was nervous.

How does she know this? From the way he made the movement. It was hurried, not calm. He did it while he wasn’t speaking, to give himself something to do and thereby reduce his internal anxiety.

This is the kind of thing you need to avoid when you are talking to a woman you want to attract. Remember the following:

Bear economy of movement in mind. To look relaxed, calm and confident, you need to only move for a good reason. It’s obviously fine to reach for your drink, or stretch out your legs, etc., as long as you are making the movement for a good reason and not one born out of feeling nervous and anxious.

Before you make the movement, briefly consider why you’re making it. You’ll probably be shocked at the number of times you catch yourself about to do something whose only purpose is to relieve some of your internal tension.

You’ll want to put your hands in your pockets, hold your drink in front of your chest, fiddle with the straw in your drink, touch your face for no reason…be aware of and control how often you move and the reasons you make movements.

Think about how you move

After considering why you move, think about how you should move. Don’t rush movements. Don’t hurry or look like you want to get the movement over with, as to not draw attention to yourself.

At the same time, don’t drag the movement out for too long. Taking 20 seconds to reach for your drink will either make you look like a sloth or a show-off. Find the middle-ground. Controlled and calm, not slow.

Are you being open or closed?

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5 Tips For Meeting Women That Every Man Ought To Know

Joseph Matthews — Sat, 01 Mar 2008 14:35:37 +0000

Finally! A step-by-step guide on how to meet women that makes meeting women fun and easy for any guy! I have a question…

(And you have to be honest with me here!)

Is meeting women hard for you to do? Do you feel afraid when it comes to meeting women?

And is that fear keeping you from succeeding and keeping you lonely and alone?

If so, don’t worry. I’m going to give you some incredible bits of advice you can use that will help you meet great women, and help you to take control of your love life and overcome your fear!

It’s not all about instinct

Meeting women should be a piece of cake. After all, that’s what you’re biologically programmed for, right? Nope!

Despite what you might think and what others may tell you, the fact is that us men are not born already knowing how to naturally meet and attract women. (Believe me, I wish that WAS the case, but its not, unfortunately.)

Knowing how to meet women is something you LEARN, not something you’re "born with." Just like any skill, you have to LEARN how to meet and talk to women, just like you have to learn to speak Spanish, play the guitar, and recite your A-B-C’s.

It’s a SKILL. And skills are learned, not instinctual.

No worries…help is on the way!

So if you currently don’t know how to meet women, don’t worry, there is NOTHING wrong with you! You just haven’t learned enough to make meeting women something that’s comfortable and easy yet.

Sadly, there are tons and tons of men out there who are too afraid to meet women, and because of that they stay home alone over the weekend when they should be out meeting girls.

And even worse – most of these guys will never do anything to overcome this fear.

This is due to the fact that these men don’t realize just how much their lives are controlled by this fear! And they justify this fear of going out and meeting women by thinking of all the things that could go wrong.

Some guys have such a dim view of themselves as attractive men that they think a girl they’re interested in is going to laugh at them, or dismiss them, or tell them off. Maybe she’ll throw her drink in their face, or maybe they’ll get beaten up by her boyfriend!

Never think the worst

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How to Meet Women in Book Stores

Joseph Matthews — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 14:22:53 +0000

There are all sorts of clichés about men picking up women in book stores but, believe it or not, it is something that can actually happen.

Of course, meeting a woman and getting from that initial “hello” to the exchange of phone numbers and plans for a meal can be a little bit tricky. You don’t want to rush things, but you don’t want to let her get away, either.

Here are a few tips on how to meet women in book stores.

#1. Visit a large bookstore.

A mall bookstore or a small store might be right on your way somewhere, but it generally isn’t a good place to meet women. Small bookstores are cramped, usually over flowing with product and the sales people are tripping over you every couple of minutes as they offer customer service to the other customers.

If the store is busy, you can forget about even being able to approach the woman who caught your eye. Too many people will manage to get in your way and by the time you get to where she was standing, she will have moved on to a new location.

Instead opt for browsing at one of the larger bookstores like Barnes and Nobles or Borders. These stores are famous for their wide aisles, their comfortable chairs and their coffee shops.

#2. Stick to what you know

Don’t try to impress women who are reading books from sections that you normally wouldn’t set foot in. If you are into anime and she is reading the newest tome from Dr. Phil, you might not have much luck in finding a good conversation starter. If you look in the sections that you normally shop in, you have a built in way to start a conversation.

You can either mention what you’ve thought about the book she’s looking at or ask her if she might be able to recommend something since you can see that she reads the same books you do.

Obviously you could do this in another section as well, but it is risky—especially if she asks you what other books in that section you have read.

#3. Approach a wanderer

It is better to approach someone who is wandering around and looking at the shelves than it is to approach someone who is already sitting down and reading through a book. If she looks like she is very into what she is reading, it is best to leave her alone.

You don’t want to start the relationship by annoying her in the middle of a good book, do you? Plus, if you talk to a woman who is already browsing, you have the built in conversation starters discussed in #2. Of course, if stops reading to look at you, you can assume that it is okay to approach her.

#4. Take the conversation somewhere else

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How to Meet Women in Coffee Shops

Joseph Matthews — Sat, 16 Feb 2008 14:30:25 +0000

Going to get coffee is almost as much of a staple of human behavior as going to the grocery store. With a Starbucks on almost every corner (and an independent coffee shop on the corners not occupied by Starbucks), coffee beverages are everywhere.

Gone are the days when people would ask “what’s a cappuccino” These days people argue over what ingredients are supposed to be in a Macchiato and which ingredients are not.

Since you probably spend a good portion of your day waiting in line at your local coffee shop, you have probably spent some time thinking about whether or not it is a place in which you can meet women. Here is the good news: It is possible to meet women in coffee shops!

It is even possible to meet women in coffee shops and get them to meet you again—in someplace that doesn’t smell like Sumatra. Here are some tips to help you meet women in coffee shops.

Be Gracious

If she is having trouble deciding what to order from the menu and turns to apologize, always be gracious. She is probably feeling very embarrassed. If she is truly sorry you can offer to help her decide what to order. Sentences like “I come here all the time, what were you thinking of ordering? I can tell you if it’s good or not,” are good openers.

This can work in the opposite situation. If you can’t make up your mind, you can ask the woman behind you what kind of coffee drinks she likes and then you have the bonus option of buying her coffee “to make up for taking so long to decide.

Be Cautious

If she is alone and reading or writing in a journal, approach with caution. People like to do these things without being interrupted, even if they are in the middle of a busy and noisy coffee shop. This rule can be voided if there aren’t any empty tables to claim for yourself.

If she looks up from her book a lot, a good way to meet her is to ask what she is reading and what she thinks of it. Be honest when she asks if you have read it or have read other books like it. Lying about what you read will come back and bite you later.

Be Polite

When you are standing next to a woman at the sugar stand, you can ask her to pass you something—you can easily play it off as being polite—you didn’t want to get in her way. Politeness goes a long way with women. The same is true for if she is reaching for something closer to your side of the stand. Grab it for her with a simple “here you go.” And the conversation can go from there.

Be Bold

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How To Avoid The Top 5 Mistakes Single Guys Make In Clubs

Ryan Randolph — Tue, 12 Feb 2008 15:29:57 +0000

Have you ever gone to a club, bought a bunch of overpriced drinks, then stood around only talking to your friends while thinking "Why did I come here?"

I remember a few years ago, before I learned any dating tips, I would leave bars or clubs with this frustrated feeling inside me.

I thought, "I just don’t get it, clubs are supposed to be a place to have fun and meet women. Where did I go wrong?"

I believe there are five major mistakes that guys make consistently at clubs for this to happen, I know I’ve made them. I also believe that if guys just stopped doing these five things, their success would improve automatically.

1. Only talking to people you know.

This first one is fairly obvious, yet many guys do it all the time. I remember standing there, looking around the club for beautiful women. When I’d find one, I‘d think to myself “Aha! There’s a beautiful woman” and then I would just keep talking to my friends.

If you keep talking to the same people, you’re going to get the same results. You don’t necessarily need to go talk to every beautiful woman you see, you can just start with the person standing next to you.

Just turn your body a little bit so you lean in from the side and start chatting. It doesn’t matter if it’s a couple, a group of guys, or some cute women. What does matter is that you are improving your conversational skills within the club.

If you’re not sure what to say, look around at your environment for some ideas. Is there a band or any dancers? Is anyone doing anything unusual? Just make a witty comment about the how the opposite of something is true.

For example, if a guy next to me starts taking a whole bunch of tequila shots, I could turn to him and his friends and say “I guess we all know who the designated driver is.” It’s good to say it in a slightly serious tone and without smiling, so you build a little tension.

It doesn’t matter how funny it is, it’s just a way to engage others. Do this to everyone who seems open and you will start having some fun times meeting new people.

2. Caring what others think.

So when you start talking to all different types of people in the club, you’re probably going to meet some friendly people and some not so friendly people (in my experience there are many more friendly people).

What happens if they don’t respond well to you, ignore you, or act rude?

Just move on. It’s not your job to fix other people; you don’t have control over them. The only thing you have control of is your own reaction. You can choose to care about their opinion or to not care about it.

The better you get at talking to more people, the more you will learn that it’s not about you. Some people go to the club to let go of all their frustrations from the week and combine that with alcohol and you can get all kinds of crazy emotions in the mix.

So if something isn’t working out, just realize it’s their issue and move on.

3. Ignoring the club employees.

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Insider Secrets Revealed – How To Pick Up Women In 4 Easy Steps

Joseph Matthews — Tue, 05 Feb 2008 14:58:21 +0000

Having trouble picking up women?

Have no fear! All you need to do is follow a few simple methods to help you get the woman of your dreams!

Do you want to go out and pick up a woman tonight, but have no clue where to start?

Most of your friends probably don’t know how to pick up women. Your dad probably doesn’t know (and lord knows your mom couldn’t tell you)!

Even the dating "experts" that you see in the media wouldn’t be able to give you the proper tactics on how to pick up women, because if they did -they’d never be able to appear on TV again! (Let’s face it, the mainstream media is extremely feminist and looks down upon anything that could help guys get laid!).

Bottom line: Picking up women is not a politically-correct topic!

You want some practical advice that can really work, that you can start to use right away. Fortunately, you found this article. So let’s get started!

What You DON’T Need

First off – here’s what you DON’T need to pick up women.

You DON’T need to be "male model" good looking.

This is the biggest mistake men make. You have to realize that close to 85% of women care more about how a man makes them FEEL, rather than how he actually LOOKS. So if you don’t think you’re a very attractive guy, don’t worry! There’s still hope for you.

Next, you DON’T have to drive a fancy car, or spend a lot of money! Quite a few of the best Pickup Artists I’ve ever known spend $30 or less when they go out on dates, and more than one of them doesn’t even own a car! (And the ones that do don’t drive anything special!)

You’ll find that women can be very forgiving when it comes to how much money you make or spend on them, if they LIKE you! And part of picking up women is to get the girl to like you, right?

Finally, you DON’T have to be famous, be a certain type of ethnicity or nationality, or anything else you can think of. The secret is to have a great personality – this will make any other obstacle you think you have to getting a girl to like you obsolete! If you know the proper way to interact with women, nothing else matters.

Skyrocket to Success

Unless you’re already on the verge of becoming a master pick up artist, you’re probably not going to have phenomenal success right away using these tips and tactics. But if you apply these and other tactics over a period of time and learn from your experiences, you’ll find your success with women will skyrocket! In order to learn the quickest, you’ll want to go out as often as you can – particularly when you’re first starting.

You don’t have to go to nightclubs or other high-pressure environments to meet women, but they are great "practice grounds" because there are SO MANY women there to meet and talk to. Despite where you choose to go, you need to set aside some time every day to go out and pick up women – you’ll get better the more times you do it! When you’re first starting, you might not have a whole lot of success with the ladies. But over time, as your experience builds, your confidence will grow. Every success and failure you have is a learning experience meant to make you better at picking up women.

And Remember…

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It’s Just You and Your Hand Tonight!

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 17 Oct 2007 15:31:58 +0000

The hot new song from Pink which is all the rage these days – and one of the top songs on iTunes – has an unusual title that many people haven’t noticed. It’s called "U + Ur Hand", as in "You and Your Hand".

There’s this expectation that any woman in a bar is looking for a man. What she’s saying is that she’s there for herself, NOT looking for a guy. So leave her alone, it’s just "you and your hand tonight"

This just just in! Women are people too, in many aspects not all that different from men. And there are plenty of times when a beautiful woman wants to be with nobody but herself, or maybe her girlfriends. And that’s it. She may ACTUALLY have a headache. Or she may ACTUALLY not want a guy chasing her around the bar.

Pink – U + Ur Hand lyrics

While the words are a bit in your face for some people, the message is quite sound. I happen to really like this song. Not every woman out there is always looking for a man.

Of course Pink is not exactly shy about expressing herself. And per this article on Nerve, Pink recently posed nude for the Bryan Adams Visions of Rock photo exhibit. Yes, Pink is actually nude in this picture, so brace yourself.

So maybe Pink is speaking up for hundreds of thousands of frustrated women tired of fighting off every guy in the bar when she says "I’m not here for your entertainment! Keep your drink, just give me the money. It’s just you and your hand tonight".

Here’s Pink, in her own words…

How to Approach Any Woman Without Fear of Rejection – Pick Up Secrets Exposed by a Woman

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 06 Jul 2007 17:25:12 +0000

How SHOULD a regular guy approach a woman to get her phone number, a date, a chance?

We’re always seeing seduction and pick up advice from the same well known faces in the Seduction Community. From David DeAngelo, to Zan, Mystery, Jason Matthews, and many others. Do you see the pattern yet? They’re all GUYS!

They tell us how to approach women, how to get their phone numbers, and how to get them to go out on a date. They even tell us how to get those hot one night stands that some guys are crazy about.

We think it’s about time to get that advice straight from a woman – the object of your search.

You ARE trying to get a woman to go out with you, aren’t you?

Why not find out from her what’s really going on behind her pretty blue eyes… what she’s thinking about you as you first walk into the room, why she can’t get rid of some guys fast enough when they come up to her… That kind of information is priceless.

Imagine getting the lowdown from the other side… what it’s like being a woman and having ALL THOSE GUYS hitting on you.

Here’s our review of Tiffany Taylor’s excellent insider guide to the fairer sex – Guy Gets Girl. In reality, it’s more of a strategic and tactical plan than a “book”, but anyway.

It’s also worth noting that Guy Gets Girl is the first and only step-by-step pickup, dating, and seduction guide available written for men… By a Woman.

“How To Approach Any Woman, Anywhere And Know Exactly What To Say To Get Her To Give You Her Number And Go On A Date With You – NOW”

You’ll want to read all the way to end of this post so that you don’t miss a single great idea.

Tiffany’s promise is a pretty tall order, but from everything we’ve read, I’d say she delivers.

After all, it’s not about fancy pickup lines, sleazy hypnosis tricks, and all kinds of other less than honest stuff. At the core, what matters is being confident and understanding that woman that you’re approaching… understanding what she wants, what she’s looking for, her true desires.

That’s what matters and what will get you that date.

Tiffany also tells you how any nice guy can get practically any girl he wants, IF he knows what the lady is really looking for. Overall jerks don’t hold a candle to nice guys, but beware – nice guys who don’t know what they’re doing often end up in the “friend zone”.

She also tells you where to find great available women, even if you’re not into dance clubs and the traditional singles scene.

And how about three different ways to approach a woman and immediately get on her good graces. Really, it can be that simple if your timing is right.

Her motives

Guess what… every person on this earth has a reason for everything they do. Many reasons are friendly and completely noble, and others are selfish misguided. Women are no different than men in this respect – pay close attention to what they say, what they’re asking you about, how they act, act. and you’ll always know where things are headed.

Flirting – the good, the bad, and the ugly

What you should say and when to get her affections, but especially what NOT to do when flirting unless you want to scare her off…

The first date

Learn the 4 best places to take a girl on a date, to guarantee you’ll see her again. They don’t even cost as much as a meal at a cheap restaurant, but they are infinitely more enjoyable for her!

A 3 step formula for planning that crucial first date, to ensure she’ll not only go out with you, but keep going out with you, but keep you after that date.

What to talk about on your first date. Some great conversation starters, and what topics to avoid, or else.

Reading her signals – how to know if she’s ready to take the next step.

The first kiss – how to know when she’s ready to be kissed, and when she ISN’T.

The one night stand

There are many reasons you may not want to do this, but in case you do, there’s a good section describing how to get her in the mood, how to read the signals, where to go, and what to do next. Also how to separate with no hard feelings after the sex, and how to ensure you’ll be able to do it again if you choose.

Sex tactics

The key here again is understanding what women truly need and want… how to romance her and get her in the mood every time, why foreplay is so important if you want to have sex with her again, etc.

Also, the one mistake guys generally make that puts the freeze on any sexual activity for the evening and beyond.

And of course, knowing when to throw in the towel. Sometimes it just isn’t working out, no matter how much you want it to. But you MUST know when and how you should break it off, so that you can still stay friends. Get this wrong and you could end up with a lot of problems.

Is she the one?

How to know if she’s really the one for you, even if you think you’re sure one way or the other.

Approaching – what to do and say that will boost your chances of getting the girl

Ponder these questions…

Do you just walk right up to her, or is there a “right moment” to approach?
If she’s with friends, how can you use her friends to your advantage?
Once you get her talking, how do you break the awkward silence?

And find out how to get her real number, and not end up with a bogus one.

Asking her out

How long do you need to wait before calling her, and what should you say to really keep her interested? Most guys get this completely wrong, which is why they can’t ever seem to get that ever elusive second date.

A word of warning

Although the material is thorough and the ideas are very insightful and well thought out, we do have a strong concern with this guide. Guy Gets Girl comes with an additional bonus guide entitled Advanced Psychological Techniques.

We are not fond of using psychological triggers and similar seduction tactics to approach women, get a date, etc.

It is your choice if you want to use the advanced psychological seduction tactics in this book, but be warned. While you may be virtually guaranteed to get her phone number, get a date, get a one night stand… honesty is the most important factor in a relationship. Eventually she will get to know the real you, and you could be in trouble.

So the short version is this: use the advanced psychological seduction tactics at your own risk. This guide has a lot of great information, but use it wisely.

Overall we highly recommend this book.

Download your copy right now before you get busy and forget. Then go out and walk up to the girl of your dreams, and score a date with her.

Easily Attract Women Without Sleazy Seduction Tricks – TheModernMan.com Review

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 10 May 2007 01:50:53 +0000

You’ve heard it all from various pick up artists, but now it’s time to take a different approach.

"Modern Men", Dan, Ben, and Stu have become Australia’s Top Dating Coaches.

Fate brought them together through life experience and circumstance, and now they are helping thousands of men learn how to easily attract women without using any tacky ’seduction tricks’ or false behavior.

They believe that women are attracted to certain things about men other than looks. These certain traits and behaviors can be developed by any man. It doesn’t matter what you look like, what race you’re from, or how little experience you’ve had with women.

Why?

Because women are naturally wired to be attracted to men who have the following qualities:

Confidence: This includes your social confidence, your confidence around her, confidence about yourself in general. However, if you can’t approach a woman because you fear rejection, or don’t feel very confident, then it will be almost impossible for you to attract women and get a girlfriend.

Social skills: Your ability to get along with others and get somewhere in life. Just imagine a beautiful, single woman looking for a boyfriend to get into a relationship with. One night, she gets approached by a guy who sucks at making conversation and isn’t very socially confident. What does that communicate to a woman? Can you say ‘loser’?

Masculinity: Whether or not you can be an alpha male who is not afraid of the world…or her! For example: Are you sometimes overly-polite and cautious around people, so as not to offend? Do you sometimes hesitate about making a move, because you’re unsure about yourself and what you want?

Sexually aware: Your ability to flirt with a woman and make her feel the emotions of sexual attraction. A woman craves to be with a guy who can make her feel the emotion of sexual attraction. If you don’t know how to do that, you’ll be dumped in no time!

We couldn’t agree more! Learning to attract women, and keep them coming back for more, is about so much more than the quick fixes that are offered by some of the internet pick up artists. You need real confidence that comes from within.

At the TheModernMan.com you’ll discover:

How to build and maintain true confidence.
How to approach women and start conversations.
The ins and outs of starting & continuing fun & interesting conversations.
How to attract women.
How to flirt and use flirting body language.
How to be an alpha male.
The art of social vibing.
The fail-safe, 4-step process of meeting women and moving things forward towards a successful dating relationship.
And much more!

They offer two main products, in addition to a personal coaching program, to help you on your journey to becoming a confident and attractive man.

1. "Build Your Confidence, Naturally Attract Women & Start Dating Now!: Become a Man Who Naturally Attracts Women" – e-Book.

2. "Modern Man Lifestyle Course: How to meet and attract women in real-life situations" – This is a 2 to 4 day seminar.

They also offer several free articles with Advanced Dating Advice.

Here are our some of our favorites.

* This review is sponsored by SponsoredReviews, but all opinions are our own. *
Click Here to Get Your Website Reviewed on AskDanAndJennifer.com

Can Seduction and Pick Up Tactics Work for You? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 08 Apr 2007 23:15:04 +0000

If you’re a guy, you’ve certainly heard of at least one "How to Pick Up Any Woman" product.

These products are typically DVD or CD programs that claim to show you the art of seducing a woman by using subtle yet effective seduction techniques to easily approach any woman without getting rejected.

While these techniques can be very effective, will they work for you?

Watch this short video to find out…

Don’t forget to go to YouTube and rate the video and subscribe to our channel.

Then, be sure to tell us your thoughts - leave a comment below.