But there are couples, Christian or otherwise, who don’t have a problem involving others in their relationships on an equal par regarding their intimate and practical lives.

The term “polyamory” is defined as “the desire, practice, or acceptance of having more than one loving, intimate relationships at a time with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved. Polyamorous perspectives differ from monogamous perspectives, in that they reflect one or more partner’s wish (es) to have further meaningful relationships and to accommodate these alongside their existing relationships.” (From Wikipedia)

This is not what we are talking about today.

Allegations of Child Abuse 

No, this is about the recent raid of the Fundamentalist Mormon compound “Yearning for Zion” in Eldorado, Texas. This raid took place because of allegations of abuse to the children by a call to authorities (currently they are not able to substantiate the actual caller).

As many as 533 women and children were taken away by Texas authorities and 416 boys and girls ranging from six months to 17 years went from being in an isolated life to the real world.

Some may say that this is an intrusion of the government and the law; some may say it is needed to send a message that the current laws on the books cannot protect this lifestyle. What really stands out to me through all the media hype and public interest is the lack of freedom these kids and women have in regards to their spiritual, sexual and marital lives.

The teachings of the Fundamental Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints are far from the mainstream teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. LDS members worldwide are aware with the history of having multiple wives; Bringham Young and other church leaders were known to have many wives in the church’s infancy.

Until the turn of the 19^th century, the law and the church teachings of having legal multiple marriages came together thus making it clear to all members it was frowned on to have this in Mormon life. But this new view did not stop splinter groups from holding on to the current trend.

Groups like the FLDS made it a point to marry not just young girls to older men (from their 20s to as old as their 50s), it also had no problem having marriages with close relatives leading to inbreeding. This portion of the poly lifestyle is wrong.

It’s about choice 

…

Related articles:

1. What The Church Should Be Telling You About Sexuality But Isn’t…
2. Christian Couples FINALLY Enjoying ‘Whoopee’ Time!
3. Banned! Books You Won’t Find In Your Public Library…
4. Parents. You ARE The Sex Ed Teacher.
5. Sex Talk Stirs The Crimson Tide

Exclusivity is not what you typically think of when you talk about the swinger lifestyle. Few in the swinger community would consider it cheating to play with multiple couples and partners without consulting them. It’s important to remember that swinging is largely about expanding an individual or a couple’s sex lives, and not usually about extending the romantic circle. 

What about polyamory?

Some consider polyamory to be a more enlightened approach to swinging, though it’s really a very different animal. With polyamory, a couple will actually expand their love and romantic relationship to truly include others, not just for the occasional fun and sexual fantasies.

For many, the idea of swinging is really a stretch… polyamory is even more so because we’re no longer talking about being committed to a single person. 

Can you expect an exclusive relationship with another couple?

People are interesting in their expectations, and since we’re all unique, nothing is really too far fetched to be expected. Think about an exclusive relationship between two people. It slowly evolves from the casual meeting, a few dates, and eventually exclusivity where you’re no longer seeing other people.

It’s entirely possible for two couples to also become close over time, and for some of the players to develop closer feelings for each other. In this case it’s definitely possible for one couple to get jealous when the other couple sees other people. No, it’s not the regular traditional lifestyle experience, but it definitely does happen on occasion.

And when it does…

Don’t talk with your family about your sex life and your exotic sexual fantasies

It’s always great to share our lives with our loved ones… not just our romantic partners, but also our blood families.

BUT… this can sometimes lead to problems, especially when we’re talking about parts of our lives that are not viewed as "acceptable" or "mainstream" by some segments of society.

This can happen when parents share intimate details of their sex lives with their grown children, as well as those same grown children sharing with their parents.

At first this seems to go against what we normally believe in, but stay with us here. Countless fights and arguments start when people share too much about their sex lives with their families.

We’re generally very adamant on having very open and honest communication in relationships, whether those are romantic relationships, family relationship, or friend relationships.

However…

Related articles:

1. Virgin Swingers – Am I A BAD Person If I Want to Have Sex with Our Friends? (Video)
2. The Swinger Lifestyle and Open Relationships – Is it Really CHEATING?
3. My Best Friend’s a Swinger – Will She Burn in Hell?
4. BUSTED! Our Kids Found Out We’re Swingers. Now What? (Video)
5. Swinger Seduction – How Can I Tell If Our Friends Want to Play? (Video)

But when your husband encourages you to have an affair, as long as you don’t tell him about it… between the stigma around cheating and affairs, and your own fear that you’re breaking the sacred trust in your relationship, things can get a little more complicated.

The stigma of infidelity… MUST we call it an affair? 

Cheating is not the cause of relationship problems, but rather a symptom of significant relationship issues. People who are happy and content in a relationship – emotionally, spiritually AND sexually, do not go outside the relationship to "cheat". It just doesn’t usually work that way. 

There are situations however in which one person can’t meet all of their partner’s needs… leaving that person longing for more, whether it’s emotionally OR sexually. 

But if another person is brought into the relationship to meet those needs, is it truly cheating or breaking the trust, or merely breaking some more commonly accepted societal norms around what a marriage or relationship "should be"? 

What if your partner CAN’T have sex with you? 

For whatever reason, often health related issues, some people feel they can no longer have sex. Or maybe they just no longer WANT to have sex.

But in reality, they realize even though they no longer have sexual needs, their partner still does. At this point, the relationship will begin to suffer, since there are unmet needs, and those needs intensify as time goes on. Something eventually has to give, and if you’re not careful, it’s going to be the relationship that collapses under the strain.

Do you really want or need to divorce? Is there maybe another way?

So do you really need to divorce or separate, or is there maybe another way?

What if you were to consider an open marriage, or an arrangement by which another person could meet your partner’s sexual needs, while still keeping your marriage, or your relationship, intact?

Certainly this would require even much more trust and communication than a relationship normally does, but it COULD work. At the very least, wouldn’t it be worth trying as a last ditch effort before letting the relationship crumble and deteriorate?

If both partners are willing to approach this situation from a place of true love and acceptance – as opposed to ownership and jealousy – then the relationship may have a chance to survive this challenge.  

Love, honesty, and devotion are very different from sex

Many people confuse love, honesty, and devotion to a partner with sexual contact. Those are very different things.

Millions of couples worldwide enjoy the swinging lifestyle (formerly known as wife swapping in previous generations), and they are often brought closer together for sharing such an experience. Rarely does swinging break a couple apart – unless they’re doing it just as an excuse to have sex with other people, and to mask deeper relationship problems.

While swinging only involves sharing your partner with others for sex, many couples engage in polyamory, where there is an actual love relationship between multiple partners and couples. It’s easy to forget sometimes that not all cultures today or throughout history have practiced monogamy…

Related articles:

1. Open Marriage – How Can I Convince My Husband? (Video)
2. Is There Life After Cheating? Can You Survive An Affair? (Video)
3. Should You Stand By Your Man After An Affair?
4. When Does Harmless Flirtation Become An Affair?
5. Can a Relationship That Starts Out as an Affair Succeed? (Video)

But what if it starts growing into more than just sex with friends – or friends with benefits?

What if your husband or wife starts developing romantic (a.k.a. love) feelings for your playmates?

Dare we call it polyamory?
 

"Polyamory is the practice of having more than one loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved. The relationships are long-term, intimate, and usually (but not necessarily) sexual. Persons who consider themselves emotionally suited to such relationships may define themselves as polyamorous, often abbreviated to poly."
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory

"Swinging, sometimes referred to in North America as the swinging lifestyle, is non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple.  Swinging has been called wife swapping in the past, but this term is archaic and does not accurately describe the full range of sexual activities in which swingers may take part."

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swinging

And what happens when the jealousy beast rears it’s ugly head. Admittedly swingers (and certainly those into polyamory) are not nearly as apt to fits of jealousy as some monogamous couples, but it’s been known to happen…

What happens when one partner wants a polyamorous relationship and the other one doesn’t? Is it wrong to want one without the other?

No, it’s absolutely not wrong. What you want is what you want. What you feel and what you want is what’s right for you and for your life. Period.

The swinging lifestyle is typically about sex!

You get together, you play, and then you go home. That’s kind of what it’s about. But Polyamory takes it to a new level and, what I would consider, a much more enlightened level where you are actually in love relationships with multiple partners. It’s a true and total sharing of one another and not many couples (or individuals) are able to do that.

It all comes down to communication.

It’s critical to ask your partner how they feel and to share your feelings. The absolute worst thing that you can do is to hold your feelings inside – what you really want – because you’re afraid your partner may not understand. You have to talk about what you both want from the relationship and what boundaries you’re comfortable with. And in some circumstances, you may find out that you want different things. If this is the case, you’ll have to decide if you are willing to compromise or go your separate ways. 

Jealousy

The biggest reason why many people feel uncomfortable in a Swinging or Polyamorous relationship is "jealousy". It’s one of the biggest emotional issues that all couples face. And when you start bringing other people into your bedroom, you simply cannot let jealousy sneak into the picture because it will tear your relationship apart.

So you have to find ways to make each other feel really special and absolutely certain about where you stand in your own relationship before sharing intimate fun with others.

That’s the biggest thing in the end. Talk! Share your feelings!

Oh, and if you think swinging or polyamory are a rare occurrence in our society, think again!

Check out this survey that over 4,000 of our readers took – Sex Poll: Would You Consider Swinging or Polyamory? The results will certainly surprise you. 

Related articles:

1. Swinging vs Polyamory – Can You REALLY Have One Without the Other? (Video)
2. Shocking Sex Poll Results – The Surprising Verdict on Swinging and Polyamory!
3. Sex Poll: Would You Consider Swinging or Threesomes?
4. Swinger Swap Gone Wrong! Can We Recover? (Video)
5. My Best Friend’s a Swinger – Will She Burn in Hell?

But what if it starts growing into more than just sex with friends – or friends with benefits? What if your husband or wife starts developing romantic (a.k.a. love) feelings for your playmates? Dare we call it polyamory?

And what happens when the jealousy beast rears it’s ugly head. Admittedly swingers (and certainly those into polyamory) are not nearly as apt to fits of jealousy as some monogamous couples, but it’s been known to happen. As with the couple asking the question for today’s video below.

Oh, and if you think swinging or polyamory are a rare occurrence in our society, think again! Check out this survey that over 4,000 of our readers took – Sex Poll: Would You Consider Swinging or Polyamory? The results will certainly surprise you.

So is it REALLY possible to have swinging without polyamory, and vice versa? Is it REALLY?

Watch this short video to find out…

Don’t forget to go to YouTube and rate the video and subscribe to our channel.

Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts – leave a comment below.

Check out these resources we recommend to help you find the right swinger and threesome partners fast:

1. Download this great guide to fulfilling your threesome fantasies, as revealed by a bisexual woman. She and her husband have been enjoying the threesome scene for years and share their secrets.
2. Check out the largest swinger and sex personals dating site and find sex partners in your area today. They have millions of active members online, and 30,000 new photos uploaded daily.

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1. Swinging vs. Polyamory – Am I Wrong to Want One Without the Other?
2. Shocking Sex Poll Results – The Surprising Verdict on Swinging and Polyamory!
3. Sex Poll: Would You Consider Swinging or Threesomes?
4. My Best Friend’s a Swinger – Will She Burn in Hell?
5. Swinger Danger! What To Do When Swinging Goes Wrong? (Video)

With all of the Viagra and Cialis commmercials, you might think that men just can’t get it up any more, but that’s not always the case.

There are many married men, and men in relationships, who just can’t get enough. This can be a real issue if your partner is not sexually matched with you.

So what do you do if you find yourself in this situation? Here are some great ideas to help you, and your partner, enjoy sex fully.

The Question

I know there are a lot of people who wish they had this problem… I wonder if there is any way my body is over producing sex hormones. I am 52 years old, not 19, and my sex drive is beyond explaining.

I am very healthy and work out 4 to 5 times a week at the gym, and want sex ALL the time. You guys crossed anything like this before?

And yes, I am married and way over sexed for my wife.

The Answer

Wow! I bet there are a lot of guys who WISH they had your sex drive – at least if all the male sexual enhancement drug commercials are any indication. While I can’t speak to what is a normal sex drive and what is not, here are some ideas to help you find a workable solution for you and your wife.

Find a solution together with your wife, not alone

Regardless of which way you go with this, the most important thing is to be vary open and honest with your wife about how you feel, what you’re experiencing, what your needs are, and your feelings toward her.

Don’t be judgmental or make her feel inadequate in any way. That can only go bad.

She has to know that you still love her just as much, but you have some very strong sexual needs that aren’t being met.

Explaining to her how you truly feel and what your situation is should hopefully gain some understanding and empathy from her. This of course depends on how open and up-front your relationship is. We share everything, and discuss all of our issues and concerns together. Most couples don’t, and that’s reflected in the 50%+ divorce rate. Open and honest communication is crucial to a happy relationship.

There are several ways that you can go with this…

Related articles:

1. Threesomes As An Alternative Approach to Marriage Therapy? (Video)
2. I’m Dating Again but My Sex Drive is Gone… Do I Stand a Chance?
3. Did Your Marriage Fail Because Marriage is a Flawed Concept or Because You Married the Wrong Person?
4. Sexless Marriage? Here’s What To Do
5. How to Stop Resentment From Killing Your Relationship (Video)

Last week we took a poll to see exactly how our readers feel about Swinging and Polyamory.

We asked: "Would you ever consider swinging or polyamory?"

The conversation was heated and down right amazing. Readers left hundreds of comments all over Netscape.com and on the posts themselves.

So just what were the results of this controversial sex poll?

More than 3000 of our readers spoke out and the answers will surprise you…  

Here’s the breakdown as of 3/1/2007

(we’ll update this periodically as the number change)

Take the poll

1. If you’re one of the few who missed it, here’s the post that sparked so much conversation and controversy: My Best Friend’s a Swinger – Will She Burn in Hell?
2. If you haven’t taken the poll yet, Take the Swinger / Polyamory Sex Poll to make your vote count on this incredibly controversial topic.
3. And be sure you make yourself heard in the other hot poll of the week: Sex Poll – Is It OK to Have Sex During That Time of the Month?

Don’t forget to leave a comment below to let us know where you stand. 

Related articles:

1. Sex Poll: Would You Consider Swinging or Threesomes?
2. Legalize Prostitution? SHOCKING Poll Results Are In!
3. Swinging vs Polyamory – Can You REALLY Have One Without the Other? (Video)
4. Swinging vs. Polyamory – Am I Wrong to Want One Without the Other?
5. My Best Friend’s a Swinger – Will She Burn in Hell?

Our latest post about swinging and polyamory sparked such conversation and controversy; we just had to conduct a poll.

(You’ll want to read the full post: My Best Friend’s a Swinger – Will She Burn in Hell?)

Since many people are confused or unsure of what these terms mean, here are some web definitions that we found useful.

“Polyamory is the practice of having more than one loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved. The relationships are long-term, intimate, and usually (but not necessarily) sexual. Persons who consider themselves emotionally suited to such relationships may define themselves as polyamorous, often abbreviated to poly.”
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory

“Swinging, sometimes referred to in North America as the swinging lifestyle, is non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple.  Swinging has been called wife swapping in the past, but this term is archaic and does not accurately describe the full range of sexual activities in which swingers may take part.”

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swinging

First, answer this short poll to see where you fit in with the rest of the world on this incredibly controversial topic.

And then, join the conversation and leave a comment below to tell us why you feel the way you do.

Related articles:

1. Shocking Sex Poll Results – The Surprising Verdict on Swinging and Polyamory!
2. Swinging vs. Polyamory – Am I Wrong to Want One Without the Other?
3. Swinging vs Polyamory – Can You REALLY Have One Without the Other? (Video)
4. My Best Friend’s a Swinger – Will She Burn in Hell?
5. Legalize Prostitution? SHOCKING Poll Results Are In!