Ask Dan and Jennifer » porn

How To F#ck Her Like A Porn Star… And How Even The Skinniest Dweeb Can Give Any Woman BODY-QUAKING Orgasms

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 03 Feb 2012 19:31:34 +0000

Is “orgasm” a word that rarely comes out of your mouth, because you just can’t seem to get your lover there?

Do you STRUGGLE to give your partner an orgasm, even when she’s turned on?

Or if you are able to make her orgasm, does it take FOREVER?

Even if you are the SKINNIEST, nerdiest dweeb, you can learn how to make ANY girl orgasm after orgasm with these super secret, insider techniques!

You’re about to learn what the porn stars already know – which is how to have the best sex ever and keep things fresh, exciting and new in the bedroom! You’ll learn their skills, tips, tricks and techniques and before long, you’ll be the BEST LOVER she’s have ever had!

Top Porn Stars Show YOU How To Have Sex?

So just who will you be learning these amazing sex techniques from? Some of the HOTTEST porn stars in the world, that’s who! If you’ve ever watched good porn, you have undoubtedly heard some of these names – because they’re some of the biggest in the adult entertainment industry!

Ryan Keely leads the video series and is one of the most sought after names in the porn industry. She REALLY knows how to give squirting orgasms both to herself and to other women!
Justine Joli is another big name in adult film, and she is THE MOST requested partner in lesbian films because she is known for making women orgasm faster, more times and more creatively than just about anyone in the world!
Jade Vixen is actually a former PhD candidate who knows a woman’s body better than some women do themselves – AND most doctors! Plus, she’s really, really hot!
January Seraph and Goddess Shea are both very well-known professional dominatrixes. If you want to broaden your sexual horizons, these girls will teach you how!
Isabella Stone and McKenzee Miles lend their amazing sexual talents to the Incredible Sex Video Series as well, rounding out this all-star cast!

The Incredible Sex Video Series

This totally unique video series from our good friends over at Porn Star Sex Life is called the “Incredible Sex Video Series” for a reason – the tips shown to you in these videos will help you have better sex than you have EVER had before – guaranteed! These are the techniques that real porn stars use to give each other the wettest, wildest orgasms for the camera.

WARNING: These tips are incredibly hot. DO NOT use them if you don’t want to turn every lover you’re with into a raging beast who wants sex from you all the time! DO NOT use them if you don’t plan on having sex at least DAILY – if not more than that. These tips will have your woman literally begging for sex and begging to go down on you – so if you DON’T want a blowjob pretty much every day, DON’T use these tips!

Thousands of men all over the world have watched the Incredible Sex Video Series - and they’ve never regretted it since! Not only was actually learning the tips super hot (you might have to take a break in between instruction demos to take a cold shower!), but they used them to give their partners the most amazing, hottest, wettest SQUIRTING ORGASMS ever. These men used to be regular guys just like you - until they learned how to be better lovers than Ron Jeremy.

What You’ll Learn In The Incredible Sex Video Series

The sex position that will make your penis feel 2 INCHES BIGGER to your girl and what will make her feel super tight like a virgin to you!
How to give her body quaking orgasms with just 1 simple technique
The technique that will make almost ANY girl have an orgasm within 30 seconds!
The #1 thing holding back your sex life (it’s NOT what you think!)
An incredible oral sex technique that the BEST lovers in the world use almost all the time!

Not only will you be learning some incredible sex tips, you’ll learn them by watching incredibly sexy porn stars actually doing these techniques to each other!

Wait, what?

Yes – you will get to learn the techniques that will make a woman orgasm over and over by watching HOT, NEARLY NAKED PORN STARS demonstrating them on each other!

Where Else Will You Learn Sex Tips From Hot, Almost Naked Porn Stars THEMSELVES?

Really? Nowhere. The Incredible Sex Video Series is revolutionary – there are very few things out there on the market like this. Not just anyone can round up the biggest names in porn and get them to reveal their secrets to getting women to orgasm again and again!

This video workshop includes HOURS of nothing but hot girls showing you how to pick up other hot girls, dating tips, the hottest sex tips, sex positions, and even threesome etiquette should you be lucky enough to ever get your girl to agree to a threesome (which you just might after using the techniques in the Incredible Sex Video Series!)

If you have a sub-par sex life and are ready to turn things around, the time is NOW!

Don’t suffer through even 1 more boring sex session where you barely reach orgasm (and your partner never does) because the sex has become so stale.

Instead, get the Incredible Sex Video Series TODAY and have the most incredible, sheet soaking sex you’ve ever had – TONIGHT!

Don’t delay – you can start having sex like a porn star TONIGHT!

Is Porn Responsible For Erectile Dysfunction?

Kaylen Jackson — Sun, 01 Jan 2012 14:00:05 +0000

Porn is pretty much everywhere and most guys use it. Since men are visual creatures and usually need to SEE something arousing to be able to get off, most people don’t bat an eye at adult movies anymore. But could porn be the culprit for men who experience erectile dysfunction?

The Prevalence Of Porn

Yes, adult movies really are everywhere, and they’re in every flavor that one could imagine. You can find porn on the Internet easily, with just the few clicks of your mouse. You can find photos or videos of just about anything you might desire, and if you’ve got the money, you can watch live webcam performances of your favorite stars or video chat with live, hot naked women.

But it’s not just the nudity that’s everywhere – what has changed in the porn industry over the years is the need to continually push buttons and push boundaries. What’s new? What’s exciting? What hasn’t been done before? Adult film stars and producers want to get noticed, and the best way to do that isn’t flashing your breasts – that’s been way overdone. The best way to get noticed is to do something that makes people do a double take. “Did they really just do that? Let’s watch!”

What Does Pushing The Envelope Mean For Men?

For many men, the tasteful nude spreads in Playboy just doesn’t do it anymore. But neither does some of the more risque stuff. Many men are so bored by “just naked women” or “just sex” or “just anal sex” that they continually look for new things to become aroused by. Since the adult entertainment industry basically caters to these desires, it’s a recipe for disaster.

So instead of browsing through tastefully done photos of gorgeous naked women, men are looking for more extreme forms of sexual gratification, including hardcore sex, rough anal sex, golden showers and more. Since men get desensitized to seeing such extreme things on screen, what happens is that it becomes more and more difficult to become aroused through normal nudity or normal sex.

Does It Really Cause Erectile Dysfunction?

Yep. For example, say a man is used to masturbating while watching really rough BDSM or domination. This is what arouses him, and he is always looking for something that he hasn’t seen before. So when he goes to have sex with his wife, what happens? He’s looking at a normal, naked woman and unfortunately, it does nothing to turn him on since he’s so accustomed to being aroused by porn that pushes the envelope.

So he can’t get it up. And she gets frustrated, thinking it is her fault.

In reality, the man has trained himself to sexually respond only to certain things, and the specifics differ from guy to guy. But the concept is the same – if a man masturbates regularly to intense porn, he will most likely have difficulty becoming aroused by normal sex with his partner, resulting in difficulty achieving an erection.

What To Do About It

If you find that you struggle with erectile dysfunction and suspect it may be due to porn, you can take control of your sex life again if you want to have satisfying sex with your partner.

Start by weaning yourself off the most extreme stuff. Take a few minutes to analyze the type of porn you watch at present – what kind of things does it feature? What is it that turns you on the most? Whatever that is, take it down a notch. For example, if you’re currently watching porn that features heavy BDSM, try going down a notch to something that features bondage only. Then you can downgrade to light bondage and so on. In theory, this does not sound difficult to do. The real challenge is avoiding the temptation to watch what you normally do.

Think of it as training yourself to enjoy porn that is much closer to the realistic sexual experiences that you have with a partner, instead of only being able to enjoy things that are only attainable through porn.

When you accomplish this, you will be more satisfied during your sexual encounters with your partner. You will enjoy regular intercourse much, much more than masturbation and masturbation will simply become a “quick necessity” rather than a go-to for the satisfaction of your sexual fantasies. In short, your sex life with your lover will become much, much better and you won’t be in danger of experiencing erectile dysfunction during normal intercourse!

5 Ways To Get Him To Stop Watching Porn

Kaylen Jackson — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 14:00:46 +0000

Porn is something all guys watch at some point in their lives. It’s a normal and natural thing to be curious about porn and to want to see what it’s all about – it’s even more common for men to use it when they get older during masturbation, simply because men are visual creatures and need something to look at when they do their business. But what do you do if he wants porn on all the time? How can you get him to look at YOU instead?

1. Find Out What He’s Watching

Whether you do this by asking him straight up what kind of porn he likes, or by doing a little secret digging in his computer files while he’s not home, you need to find out what kind of porn he’s watching. This may be the key here. If he likes BDSM or even has a secret fetish that he feels like he can’t share with you, what he watches during masturbation can give you a clue. If you find that what he watches when he masturbates differs greatly from what you two do together, try incorporating a little bit of what he likes into sex. Do it slowly so you don’t tip him off. But if you start playing the game the way he likes it, he’ll be more apt to do it with you than to have vanilla sex and retire to his computer or television later.

2. Make Amateur Porn

Guys are visual, period. They need to see things to get off. Women can use their imaginations all day long and imagine in great detail everything they need to during a masturbation session, but men find that very difficult. It’s much easier if they can look at a bouncy pair of breasts or a dripping wet….well, you get the picture – while they get the job done. So if you’re tired of him looking at other women instead of you, don’t ask him to stop looking at porn flat out – because that’s not going to happen. Instead, make porn for him – of you!

Take some naughty pictures of yourself or have a trusted friend do it. You can throw the digitals into a free, easy to use online editing program to make yourself look your best – or if you REALLY want to go all out, have professional boudoir photos done. If he has some really sexy pictures of YOU to look at, he might not go looking at other girls all that often.

3. How Do You Look?

Guys like different body types. Some men enjoy very thin, athletic women, while other guys like a few rolls they can grab on to while they slam into you from behind. It’s all about personal preference. So don’t assume that your man wants to see you skin and bones just because that’s what all the Victoria’s Secret lingerie ads look like. But take some time to really think about the type of body your man does find attractive. This is where checking out his porn collection can come in handy. Are all the girls a little round, while you look like you just ran a marathon? Try packing on a couple pounds if you’re comfortable with that.

Does he seem to like more athletic women, while you’re a little more round? Try getting healthier and losing a few pounds, if you’re comfortable with it. You don’t have to change your looks to become a complete carbon copy of his little porno mistresses, but if you take some time to think about what HE really likes and try to meet those desires a little, you’ll notice a huge difference in how much more attention he pays to you.

4. Get Some Damn Confidence

Honestly, it doesn’t matter THAT much to your guy what you’re packing. He wouldn’t be with you if he didn’t find you at least somewhat attractive. You want to know the biggest difference between those porn girls and you? Confidence! They know what they’re doing, they’re confident in their ability to do it well and that translates on screen. Slip on a pair of heels, strut your stuff and act like you KNOW you look good! Because you do! Just a change in your attitude and enthusiasm about the way you look and sex in general is enough to get him to turn off the tube and follow you to the bedroom.

5. Have More Sex

Next time he wants it, don’t brush him off. Don’t tell him you have a headache, don’t tell him you’re on your period, don’t tell him that you “just don’t feel like it” and most certainly, you should not do it and fake an orgasm. Just get into it! The more sex you have, the more you’re going to want it. Same goes for him. If he knows he can get mind blowing sex pretty much any time he wants, he’s not going to want the porn as much, if at all. So don’t wave him off next time he appears interested in having sex with you. Turn the interest right around and pounce on him! Give him something to remember next time he goes looking for something good to watch. He might just say, “Forget it!” and go looking for you instead!

Premature Ejaculation – Stop It By NOT Doing These 2 Things!

Jack Grave — Thu, 24 Nov 2011 17:00:17 +0000

Premature ejaculation can equal no sex life for you. Steer clear of these two problems and say goodbye to premature ejaculation forever!

Did you know that being able to prevent premature ejaculation comes down to avoiding a few simple mistakes? Soon you’ll know exactly what those mistakes are so you never have to make them again!

Problem #1 - Trying To Have Sex Like A Porn Star

If there’s a sure-fire way to not last long in bed then it’s trying to have sex like a porn star. Many men learn everything they know about sex either through porn or from friends who learned from porn.

The bottom line is, since sex is such a taboo subject no one ever takes the time to teach young men the best ways to have sex and how to last long in bed. So what us men do when we’re young (myself included) is we look to the only source we know to learn from – which is porn.

Unfortunately, porn is VERY much unlike the real thing.

There’s no doubt you know this already, but spending our time watching porn has a deep UNCONSCIOUS influence on our ideas of sex that we can struggle to see ourselves. For starters have you ever stopped to think about the fact that porn is EDITED?

Remember, the directors want the porn to run as seamlessly as possible and be as entertaining as possible, which means if the male actor needs to take 5 minutes out to stop him from reaching orgasm early, then they’ll let him do that and just cut those 5 minutes out during production.

Did it ever cross your mind that stuff like this could actually happen?

There are a ton of other things that are totally misleading about porn that I won’t go into here, but you get the idea. Don’t use porn as a sex guide for lasting longer, because the men involved can take a break whenever they want and they won’t show you if they’re using any special techniques for lasting longer.

Problem #2 – Not Giving Her A Great Orgasm (Or Two Or Three) First

One way to prevent premature ejaculation is to reduce the pressure to perform.

Sometimes when it comes to sex we feel so much pressure to satisfy the woman we’re with that we get incredibly nervous and anxious about sex. Unfortunately, this angst and nervousness only ENCOURAGES premature ejaculation and makes it MORE likely to happen.

So how can you take this pressure off and reduce nerves? A really simple way to help reduce your nervousness is to take the time during foreplay to really satisfy your woman and get her to orgasm.

After you know you’ve already deeply satisfied her a LOT of the pressure is taken off of you to perform, because if you do orgasm early it won’t matter half as much if she’s already had an orgasm. And with this pressure off you’ll find it’s actually a lot easier to last longer, because the anxiety to perform won’t be there.

Just avoiding a few simple mistakes like these when it comes to sex is critical to prevent premature ejaculation, because no matter what you do to try and last longer, if you keep making a few critical mistakes you’ll never be able to last longer in bed.

5 Things Guys Really DON’T Want In Bed

Kaylen Jackson — Tue, 01 Nov 2011 14:00:25 +0000

Sex tips tell you what to DO in the sack, but how do you find out mistakes to avoid? While men want to do a lot of different things in the bedroom, there are some things that just don’t strike his fancy and may very well turn him completely OFF. You don’t want to do that! Here are the things that your guy would really rather you leave OUT.

He Doesn’t Want To Try “Butt Stuff”

This applies to “butt stuff” on HIM. Most guys enjoy anal sex with women, but the street doesn’t go both ways. Although you can give him a totally fierce orgasm via prostate massage, he’s not likely going to be very receptive to it unless he’s very adventurous. Suggesting that you put a finger up his anus while giving him a blowjob might get you a strange look, or it may get you thrown out of the bedroom depending on how much the “butt stuff” freaks him out.

Some guys will politely turn you down, while others will be convinced that you’re trying to turn them gay and run for the hills. Read your man – if he likes a lot of naughty stuff, he might be into it. If he’s more of a “vanilla” guy, don’t even bother bringing it up.

Lingerie That Has Too Many Clasps, Buttons, Zippers, etc.

Does he love seeing you wear sexy lingerie? Hell yeah, he does! But he also wants to take it OFF. And if taking off whatever you’re wearing is more like diffusing a bomb than getting you undressed sexily, your man is going to become frustrated well before he ever gets to see you naked. Keep this in mind when choosing lingerie.

Garter belts are totally hot, but they’re also a pain in the ass to get on and off. If you want to go that route, just leave them on during sex and make sure he has full access to your breasts and nether regions. If you want to wear something sexy to bed, go for it. Just make sure your guy can actually get it off of you in a short amount of time. Because honestly, if you do the lingerie right, he’s going to want to rip it off you ASAP anyways.

Watching Porn With You

Lots of sex tips suggest watching porn with your partner to help you and him get aroused before sex. Yes, your guy watches porn. He likes it, he masturbates to it, but he doesn’t want to watch it with YOU. There could be many reasons why, such as he had a past girlfriend totally freak out on him about it or he just really enjoys you so much that he doesn’t want his attention drawn to other women (we’re going to pretend it’s the latter – it could be true).

Unless your guy suggests it or brings it up, leave it alone. Let the porn stay on his computer or under his bed and let him enjoy his solo time with it just like that – solo. But don’t be afraid to get your own porn stash going – if porn turns you on, why don’t you watch it the way he does? Solo?

Drunk Sex

Lots of great sex has been born from having a few drinks beforehand. But great sex does not come from being so totally sloshed you can’t get your underwear off. Yeah, we’ve all had our crazy nights and have woke up wondering what the hell happened (and from what you can remember, it was pretty damn fun) but that’s not something your guy wants to do all the time. In fact, being completely shitfaced during sex is probably something you want to save for one night stands, mistakes you’ll regret later, etc. and so on.

Another thing to note here is that if he drinks too much, it’s likely he’ll have “liquor dick” and won’t be able to get or maintain a good erection. So yeah, he doesn’t want drunk sex. Feel free to engage in having a few drinks beforehand to take the edge off and lower your inhibitions a little bit, but know when to put the drink down and head to the bedroom.

Kinky Sex That Goes Too Far

Many sex tips resources assume that all men like kinky sex and the kinkier the better. This is actually far from the truth. While most guys will enjoy the occasional bondage scenario (such as being handcuffed to the bed for a blowjob) or spanking their girl during doggy style, kinky sex that goes too far is actually going to scare you partner away. Don’t be afraid to try new things, but breaking out the cock cage, leather whip and dog collar will ensure that you’ll never see hide nor hair of your man again.

This is, of course, unless your man is super into kinky sex (which you would have already known if he is). If he’s just your average Joe, learn how to give an excellent blowjob instead. That will impress him far more than whipping out all the sex toys and kinky stuff in your nightstand drawer.

How To Become The Sensual Seductress Your Man Fantasizes About!

Brenda Lyttle — Wed, 26 Oct 2011 18:28:52 +0000

Most sex tips are going to be lost on you if you’re hiding your erotic side. However, these sex tips will teach you how to become the naughty girl your guy wants!

If racy undergarments, racks of sex toys, and adult videos make you want to hide beneath the sheets, you sure are oblivious of what real moments of ecstasy and fun feels like. It is indeed a curious exhilaration to discover your sensual side and embrace a whole new world of sexual fun.

Before we get to the point, the first of these sex tips would be – relax! Put your guards down and you, the uptight lot – think less, and feel more. Now that you are ready to experience the best of your body and carnal desires, here is a list of suggestions that would transform you into a seductive tigress:

Wear Sexy Lingerie That Reveals Your Curves Just Right

When you feel sexy, you look sexy. If thongs are what caters to your fancy, try going in for a nice lace thong that has a wider back to ensure better comfort, like the popular 4811 thong from Hanky Panky, or the Never Say Never by Cosabella. Another secret is hidden in boy shorts. Guys love them – really! So get yourself one that fits you, and gives a small glimpse of your cheeks. Sometimes the idea of sex is itself so erotic. Lace boy shorts are a good pick.

Also, you cannot deny how hot garter belts are! You can either keep them hanging loose on your bare legs, or simply clip them to some thigh-highs. Both ways, it’s gonna be irresistible!

Dive In With Sex Toys

Do not complicate. Since you would be a beginner with sex toys, start on with anything that is small and easy to use. A LELO Mia or Nea are discreet choice for masturbation. For some adventurous fun, the We-Vibe and Pleasure Commander are some of the best selling sex toys for couples. One thing that you must not forget is that these are mere toys and not a replacement of your lover – they simply make lovemaking more fun and brings in versatility to your bedroom.

Try Lube

Silicone-based lubes, such as Pjur or Swiss Navy are great choices as they do not contain any biocides or parabens, and often remain slippery for a longer duration, in comparison to their water-based counterparts.

Be sure to stick to glycerin-free lubes, as anything that contains glycerin is bound to have sugar that can instigate yeast infection. Lubes that have warming ingredients have also been known to have caused some allergic reactions, so they are also a big NO! But you can always take lube in your hand and rub them for a few minutes, it will warm up on its own.

Watch Some Good Porn

Yes, there are adult videos that both men and women can enjoy together. Anything that will have some stimulating foreplay and a bit of storyline will get you started well. Couples videos usually make for a good watch as they normally focus shots, face shots, have attractive performers, as well as more sensuality that will get you going between the sheets right away. The Masseuse starring Jenna Jameson or the Chemistry Series starring Tristen Taormino are a big hit among the couples. Eyes of Desire or The Bridal Shower are some good bets if you want some story to go along with it.

Grab Some Erotic Books

Instinctively you may be thinking of picking up some how-to books to explore new ideas. There are many books out there that can inspire you immensely. A game of truth or dare, or reading aloud an erotic fiction to your lover can also ignite that fizzle and make the passion burn forever.

Creativity in bedroom keeps boredom out of your relationship and entwines you with him for love, lust and more, that is bound to last until eternity.

Make Her Beg For Anal Sex!

Isabella Stone — Wed, 12 Oct 2011 23:00:34 +0000

Anal sex is something that women hate, but only do because it makes men happy right?

Wrong!

Tons of women love anal sex. And when you know what you’re doing, they may even request it more than traditional vaginal sex.

Here’s exactly what you’ll need to know in order to get her to beg for anal sex anytime you want.

Lube Is Your Best Friend

Anal sex can be painful to women, and the skin around the anus is exceptionally thin and can tear easily. A good quality oil or water based lube is an absolute must if you are going to go down the Hershey Highway.

Don’t worry if you are using too much lube. It’s better to use half the bottle and ensure that she is comfortable, than to have her jump up in paid and end the sex all together, simply because you were being cheap with the lube.

Start Small At First

Before getting carried away with anal sex, it’s important for her anus to become relaxed and loosened up enough to comfortably fit your cock.

Your best options would be to either use your finger (coating in lube of course) or to use small anal sex toys. Just about every sex store in the world should carry an anal sex starter kit, and these are perfect to help you get things going on the right path.

These kits include toys that start off as tiny as your pinky finger, and get larger and larger in size. This will allow you to gently help her to loosen up enough, so that she will feel nothing but pleasure when it’s time for you to insert your cock.

Sh!t Happens

Listen, there is a good chance that things might get pretty messy during anal sex. In adult films, what you don’t realize is that women usually use at least 1-2 enemas before they ever start shooting an anal sex scene.

In real life however, things can and (most likely) will get messy from time to time.

The best advice I can give you is “low lights and baby wipes!” Make sure to keep the lights down low. Candles are perfect in this case. And also remember to have a supply of baby wipes near your bed. Keep in mind, that if the idea of a tiny bit of fecal matter bothers you, then anal sex might not be for you.

Remember The After Care

After the sex is over, don’t just roll over and go to sleep (or ask her to make you a sandwich). Instead, help her to get cleaned up, or even join her in the shower. Let her know how much you enjoyed the sex, and how much you appreciate her letting you put it in her back door.

If you skip the after care, then prepare for her to never allow you to get really dirty with her again.

Q&A: MILF Fantasy – I Want To Have Sex With My Step-Mom!

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 08 Sep 2011 14:00:27 +0000

A MILF fantasy is actually quite common – there are many guys out there that either have or had a really hot step-mother who they couldn’t help but be attracted to! Of course it’s inappropriate, but lots of guys experience it. Most of the time, it passes and nothing more is ever said about it. But just what do you do when all you can think about is getting it on with your stepmother?

Question: I have a fantasy of having sex with my step mom. Almost every day she wears these pants that when she bends over you can see her ass perfectly, and my urges keep getting more and more frequent! I’ve gone to many other people, all with no help. She is also about to get breast implants, so that makes it all the worse! Your videos have helped me out a lot, so please help me on this one!

–YouTube Viewer

A MILF Fantasy Is Perfectly Normal

Boys, especially those going through puberty, are going to be attracted to random hot women, possibly all hot women. If your stepmother is hot, it’s not out of the ordinary that you would have a sexual fantasy about her! Lots of guys have gone through or are going through the same thing. You’re just attracted to a hot woman who just happens to be your step-mother. You don’t have to make it any more complicated than that.

Acting On Your Fantasy

While a MILF fantasy is actually very common, it’s not one that you can act on. Even if you’re over the age of eighteen and you and your step-mother are both consenting, you’re still going to hurt a lot of people if you make that decision. Your family would likely be very hurt and feel very betrayed if you and your step-mother got it on.

If you’re under age, that’s a whole different ball game – things could be much worse if you did anything about your fantasy. Also, it’s likely that your step-mother most absolutely does not share this fantasy, and you could damage your relationship with her and the rest of your family if you tell her that you think about her sexually.

You can’t help that you’re having this fantasy, so what do you do? If you end up masturbating every day while thinking about your step-mother, you’re not going to be the first guy that has ever done that. Masturbation is an excellent relief for fantasies that you just can’t be a part of in real life. However, if you actually act on your fantasy, you could be crossing a line that you can never un-cross.

Consider Counseling

If your MILF fantasy really bothers you and you just can’t get away from it (and you really want to) consider counseling. There’s nothing wrong with seeing an unbiased counselor or third party that can help you talk through your feelings and problems. People put so much stigma on going to a therapist – especially for sex related issues – but if you want to get to the root of the problem, therapy is about as good as it gets.

Don’t think that seeing a therapist automatically makes you a weaker guy. What counseling can do is help you talk through your issues and learn the tools you need to become a better person and live a happier, more fulfilled life. On a side note, talking to your step-mother about this fantasy of yours is probably not a good idea.

Redirect That Energy Elsewhere

If counseling isn’t something you can or want to do, think about ways you can redirect this energy. Think about what it is about your step-mother that turns you on so much. Is it her physique? Perhaps she has a nice butt or legs that just won’t quit. If you can isolate just what it is about her that turns you on, you can redirect that energy to adult films and magazines that feature women with large butts, long legs, or whatever it is that you think turns you on the most.

Even if you can’t find something in particular, there is surely going to be another girl you find attractive. Exploring magazines, websites, films and art can help you find other women to look at that also turn you on. If you’re old enough and dating is an option, get more social and talk to girls.

You may be attracted to your step-mother’s personality, simply because you haven’t been close or conversed much to other women. Dating can help you redirect your energy into finding a girl that you’re attracted to that you can get to know without the repercussions that getting involved with your step-mother would bring.

How To Use The 5 Senses During Sex

Michael Webb — Wed, 03 Aug 2011 23:00:40 +0000

Sex should involve the whole body for a truly amazing experience. Men are visual creatures, and that is how they express themselves sexually. They like to look at boobs. They like to watch porn. However, women are multisensory. They experience sex with all of their senses. While a great set of abs does entice her visually, so does the sound of a man’s voice or the warmth of his touch.

When she is attracted to him, his scent is stronger than other men’s scents. While men may not be inherently moved to incorporate a woman’s fragrance or the cadence of her speech into his sexual nature, it doesn’t mean he can’t consciously make the decision to do so. Here’s a quick review of the five senses, and how erotic each can be.

Sight

You already know that men are visually stimulated. The respond best when they can actually look at what is going on, rather than just feel it with their bodies. That’s part of why porn is so popular! Men are already experts in getting turned on by what they can see, but you can take it even further. Really scan your lover’s body with your eyes. See how her body is different from other women’s.

Maybe she has strong runner’s legs or perfectly olive skin. Notice the things that make her special unique, and compliment them. Tell her how much you love her wildly curly hair or the curve of her stomach. You will see her in a new light once you’ve really taken her in.

Taste

Taste is definitely a component of good sex, but a lot of the time, the taste of your partner’s salty skin isn’t always erotic. So you can have a lot of fun playing with taste and incorporating new ones into our sex routine. Try giving each other sensual massages with flavored oils, and then lick it off one another’s bodies. Blindfold her, and then feed her passion fruits or chocolate mousse.

Have a sensual dinner before sex and really pay attention to the flavors and textures of the foods. Then, have dessert off her sexy body. Drizzle chocolate sauce and whipped cream all over her and have fun licking it all up. You can also buy a variety pack of flavored lip balms, and then guess the flavor every time you kiss her hello. Whatever it is, have fun with it.

Smell

There’s a reason that certain scents seem sexy to you, or turn you on. Your sense of smell can be heightened during times of extreme arousal. Maximize the power of aromatherapy by filling the room with warm, relaxing scents. Musky vanilla, sandalwood or lavender scents all help relax the mind and body, and makes a woman feel more sensual.

To engage your sense of smell, breathe in the smell of her skin when she’s under you. Once you know her smell, it will get you going every time you catch a whiff.

Sound

The sounds of sex are probably one of the best things about it. There’s nothing like hearing how much you’re pleasing your partner or listening to the sound of intercourse. Dirty talk is a great way to engage you and your partner’s ears when getting it on.

Whether you’re telling over the phone what you’re going to do to her when you get home, or whispering sweet nothings in her ear, you can heighten the anticipation with verbal stimulation. Also, when you’re pleasuring her or railing her, listen to her moans and hear her reaction. Then you can be certain you’re doing it right.

Touch

This is the most sexually satisfying of all the senses. What you feel with sex is what governs what you do and what you think when you’re getting busy with your lover. Play with touch by running your hands all over each other’s bodies. Feel the warmth of your lover’s skin. Sex games that maximize touch with your partner are also a great way to enhance your sex life.

Play a game where you touch her each part of her body from head to toe, but never lose contact. Then enjoy the intense pleasure when you’ve felt her with all your senses. You can also use this sense when “feeling” your orgasms. When you’re in the throes of orgasm, let the experience completely overtake you. Get lost in all the different sensations that you’re feeling, and let your partner do the same!

6 Ways To Make Male Masturbation Better Than Sex

Kaylen Jackson — Tue, 12 Jul 2011 14:00:00 +0000

Male masturbation can be even better than sex if you do it right. Most guys just take a few minutes out of their day to polish one off, but if you embrace it and enjoy it rather than just try to get it over with, you can give yourself an orgasm that is out of this world. Here’s how to make male masturbation absolutely incredible!

Use Lube!

While male masturbation can be achieved without lube, it’s definitely not the best way to do it. Unfortunately, this is how most guys masturbate. Since they were young, they learned to do it quickly and without using any props that might possibly give them away or be difficult to hide if they got caught. It’s time to shed this learned behavior and start enjoying yourself!

Lube will intensify the sensations you experience during masturbation and make it feel more like sex. Without lube, there is a great deal more friction and the sensations aren’t as pleasurable. An uncircumcised male may notice this less than a circumcised male because they can glide their foreskin up and down the shaft of their penis. Some circumcised men do have enough skin left over after the surgery to do this to an extent, however, the skin is often stretched tight over a circumcised penis. A circumcised man will definitely want to use lube, since they can’t!

Try A Masturbation Sleeve

Male masturbation is easy with your hand, but it’s a lot better with a masturbation sleeve. A masturbation sleeve is a soft, jelly like sex toy that you slip over the penis and use as a “stroker.” They can be made out of a variety of materials, including silicone, Cyberskin and jelly materials, and many of them are textured to feel even better than a real vagina.

With a generous dollop of lube inside the sleeve, you can transform boring masturbation into something that feels totally different – and better – than anything you’ve ever felt before. Experiment with different types of masturbation sleeves to find the best fit for you.

Watch Porn – The Kind You REALLY Like

Almost all guys watch porn – that’s a given. However, there are many men who don’t watch the porn they really like. They may have a secret fetish that they’re embarrassed about, or they may get turned on by things that are considered shameful by many social circles. Therefore, these men don’t watch the porn that would really turn them on – instead, they watch something “conventional” that will get the job done, but nothing more.

If this is you, stop watching mediocre porn and find the stuff that really does it for you. Don’t be embarrassed to watch something that isn’t “traditional.” There are hundreds of different types of interests when it comes to the adult film industry, and you’re not alone. There are a lot of strange things out there, but if what gets you off doesn’t hurt anyone, there’s really nothing wrong with enjoying what you like. Since men are entirely visual creatures when it comes to sex, watching what really gets you hot has the power to increase your pleasure significantly.

Use A Warm Towel

Temperature has a lot to do with how good sex feels. For example, a real vagina is always warm and wet. So why not make male masturbation as warm and wet as you can? If you’ve got a bottle of lube handy, you’ve got the wet part covered. You can make it warm by throwing a damp towel in the microwave for a few seconds, but be careful not to get it too hot. It does, however, cool down quickly so it may take a few tries to get it just the right temperature.

Wrap the warm, damp towel around your penis (which, at this point, should have a lubed up masturbation sleeve on it) and then cover the damp towel with a dry one. You can also warm up the dry one in your clothes dryer if you like.

Go Slow And Take Your Time

For the same reason that men don’t often use lube during male masturbation, they also don’t take their time when they’re doing it. It’s just not how they learned to masturbate. They learned to do it quickly, before anyone could catch them. Make male masturbation feel more like real sex by planning to do it at a time when you are completely alone and you can lock your doors and turn off your phone.

Take your time to enjoy each phase of the process, from arousal to orgasm. Don’t rush through it – you’ll notice that the longer you spend pleasuring yourself, the better it will feel!

Let Your Orgasm Build

Don’t think that orgasm is where you need to be as soon as possible. When you’re having sex, you relish every feeling and sensation, making it last as long as you can. You also try your best to hold out on your own orgasm so your partner can have one or two of her own. Don’t think that this is something that you can only do during sex – you can also do it during male masturbation.

When you feel like you’re close to orgasm, back off a little. Stroke yourself in a different way or back off completely. Wait a few minutes before going back to it. This will not only train you to delay your orgasm so you can have more stamina during sex, it will also make masturbation absolutely explosive when you finally can’t hold out anymore!

Homemade Porn – 9 Things You HAVE To Film!

Kaylen Jackson — Sun, 10 Jul 2011 14:00:35 +0000

Homemade porn can be a lot of fun to make – and a lot of fun to watch! There’s nothing like watching your partner get you off, or checking out your style when you’re giving your partner pleasure. Not only will homemade porn turn you on like no other naughty flick can, it’s also an incredible learning experience. Check out these nine smokin’ hot moves you’ll want to get on camera.

A Point Of View Blowjob

“Point of view” is a video in which one of the participants holds the camera and films the activities, but you never get to see their face. This gives the viewer of the video the illusion that they are actually the one in the movie and that everything that is happening is happening to them. The point of view concept is great homemade porn fodder, because they ARE the one who is in the film! They can watch it later and remember just how amazing it was!

Ladies, have your partner hold a camera while you give him a blowjob. Make sure there is plenty of lighting! Look up at the camera often and don’t be afraid to let it all out. Mimic what you see women do in porn videos so the movie actually looks great - and mix it up with actual great blowjob techniques so it feels great too.

Close Up Cunnilingus

Men, chances are your special ladies have never gotten to see you lick their lady bits up close and personal. Almost all women love oral sex, because it’s an incredibly erotic experience for them. Make it even that much more incredible by taping it and letting her watch afterwards!

Set up the camera on a tripod and zoom in. You’ll have to work a little to find the right angle, but when you do, it will be well worth it. You can also hire a trusted friend that you’re comfortable with to tape it for you – that way, you’ll get every view. Cock your head a little to the side and stick your tongue out a little more so you can actually see the licking action. It’s not going to be very fun for her if all she can see is your head in between her legs.

Night Vision

Mimic a celebrity sex tape and make a homemade porn with a night vision camera. What’s great about night vision is that you won’t see as many body flaws as you would if you were taping yourselves having sex in the broad daylight. Night vision covers up even more bodily imperfections than candlelight does, but you can still see all the action. You can even pick your favorite celebrity sex tape and re-enact the whole thing!

The Money Shot

A lot of adult videos feature the “money shot” – that is, where the man pulls his penis out at the point of orgasm and ejaculates somewhere on his partner. If they’re doing it doggy style, it is usually on the lower back or buttocks, if they’re doing it in the missionary position, he will usually ejaculate on her stomach. He can also ejaculate on her breasts or her face, depending on what turns him on the most (and what his partner agrees to).

In your homemade porn, you’ll definitely want to get a money shot. Men, talk to your partner about where it’s okay to ejaculate. If you’ve always dreamed of giving your lover a facial, let her know. She may not be opposed to it if you agree to make it a one time deal for the camera only. That way, if she does decide to let you indulge in your fantasy, you’ve got visual evidence that you can watch over and over again!

Your Favorite Fetish

If you and your partner have a particular fetish that you like to indulge in, you’ll definitely want to get it on tape in your homemade porn. No matter what your fetish is – whether it’s BDSM, bondage, a diaper fetish or whatever else really pushes your hot buttons – getting it on tape and watching it later can be incredibly erotic. This is especially true if it’s a fetish that you and your lover don’t get to indulge in very often due to money, time constraints or other reasons.

Female Ejaculation

Ladies, unless you’re really, really good at female ejaculation, chances are, you’re not going to be able to do it very often. Learning to do it well is half the fun though! If you want to be able to ejaculate, practice makes perfect. Keep trying, and keep videotaping it so that when you do ejaculate, you’ve already got it on tape! Your partner will love watching a homemade porn of you ejaculating, especially if he was the one that made you do it.

Don’t be afraid to let go – if you are, chances are, you’re not going to ejaculate at all. The best adult videos that feature female ejaculation show women letting it all out! They’re grunting, screaming, and doing whatever is necessary to make themselves orgasm – and orgasm hard. Take on that mentality and your movie will be just as hot – if not hotter.

Your Favorite Role Play

If you and your lover like to role play, this can be super fun to include in your homemade porn. Getting it on video is also a great option if you don’t get to do it very often, or if you end up springing for some really great costumes and props. A camera in the room can also help you and your partner feel a little bit like you’re performing, which can actually help you to come out of your shells a little more.

Before turning the camera on, have a few drinks first. Relax, loosen up and let whatever happens happen. You won’t believe how hot things got when you finally play the video back later!

Masturbation

Men, you may want to film your partners masturbating themselves so you have something to watch later when you’re alone. Chances are, your girl is going to be more into the idea of you watching homemade porn when you masturbate than watching a movie with some random naked chick in it.

Set up the camera in a corner of the room where you don’t notice it as much. Light some candles, take a hot bath to relax and then lay on the bed with your genitals exposed to the camera. You can zoom in as much or as little as you like – whatever turns you on most. Men, this is the part where you leave the room! Sure, you want to check out all the action, but she’s not going to be able to really let go if you’re standing there watching her. And that’s what you want – for her to really let go and throw all her inhibitions out the window.

Intense Foreplay

Sometimes, sex is not all you want to capture on camera. Foreplay can be just as much fun as sex, and incredibly erotic. Promise your partner a night of intense foreplay and teasing, and make sure to get it all on camera for your homemade porn. Men, tease your lover by licking her nipples, licking her clitoris and kissing her deeply, all without ever doing enough to actually get her off. Women, do the same thing to your men.

Watching your partner beg for pleasure can be an incredible turn on when you play your video back!

How To Get Her To Make A Dirty Video For You

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 26 Jun 2011 14:00:28 +0000

Porn is great but homemade porn is better. However, it can be difficult to get your girlfriend or wife to agree to get naked on camera. It’s not impossible though – tons of women make XXX films for their guys – Want your girl to make a naughty film for your viewing pleasure? Check out these tips to convince your girl to do it.

Women Naturally Want To Make Their Man Happy

All women have the drive to please their man – it’s hardwired into their DNA. Instead of baking pies a la June Cleaver, you’d rather a racy movie starring your gorgeous lady. How do you tell her? Just tell her! Let her know that making a homemade porn with her (or videotaping her masturbating by herself) is something that you’d really like to do and it really turns you on. If she knows how much you want to see her on film, she’ll most likely be up for it if it will make you that happy.

It Doesn’t Have To Be Full On Porn

If your girlfriend or wife has never done anything sexy on camera before, they may feel a little shy or apprehensive about the whole idea. Don’t assume that for it to turn you on that it has to be full on porn – quite the opposite. Even just a soft core film with limited nudity, or even no nudity at all, can be enough to get you going. It’s also a great way to slowly introduce her to the idea so that later on, you can make a XXX film.

Have her do something sexy on film with her clothes on, such as giving you a blowjob in a low cut shirt. It’s sexy, reminds you of her and she doesn’t have to show anything of hers to the camera. She can also do an erotic dance while wearing a sexy dress or some of her favorite lingerie. Light some candles and turn out the lights – the soft lighting will make her feel more comfortable and won’t transfer as many of her imperfections onto film.

Tell Her You’d Rather Masturbate To Her

Guys are going to masturbate – it’s a fact of life and most women know and accept this. They also know that men are visual creatures and need something sexy in front of their eyeballs to get off. This is the part that girls hate – they don’t want their partner watching and masturbating to other naked women. Your woman may not say anything about it, but it’s pretty much guaranteed that porn featuring other girls grates on her nerves.

Use this to your advantage and tell your partner that you’d much rather be watching her than some naked chick you’ve never met and don’t care about at all. This single phrase will probably be the most convincing thing you can do to get her to make a dirty video for you. She’ll appreciate that you’d rather be watching HER while you touch your penis than another girl and will do her best to make that happen.

Give Her Some Ideas

You don’t want to insist that your girlfriend make a video of her vagina up close and personal to start off with. It will probably freak her out and turn her off to the idea of making an adult movie for you all together. Instead. start small and work your way up. Give her some ideas of sexy things she can do on camera that will turn you on, that don’t involve her doing things featured in Hustler.

You can also get some ideas by watching soft core porn together. When you watch it with her, point out things that you think are hot and that you’d love to see her doing. Something along the lines of “She just doesn’t do that right, I bet you could do it better” or “I’d love to see you try that.”

Don’t be afraid to play around with the camera a little and have fun with it. Turn it on and forget about it, doing things that you normally do together. Take a short video, watch it together and then delete it immediately. Get her comfortable with the idea of having the video camera around.

Help Her Feel Sexy

She may agree to try videotaping herself doing sexy things for you, but you’re not going to get very far if you don’t make her FEEL sexy while doing it. Here are some easy ways to make her feel super hot, which will help her open up and let her inner vixen out.

Buy her sexy lingerie. Shop online together or visit a store with her in tow. Make SURE you choose something together and that she’s tried on. Don’t bring home something that doesn’t fit her – especially if it’s too small.
Candles or dimmer switches are amazing at hiding skin imperfections. Meaning that if you use soft lighting, she’ll feel like she looks better and you will both actually look a lot better on film.
Give her encouragement when she does something. If she’s dancing or moving around in some way, tell her how hot it is when she does. Get vocal – if you just sit there quietly, she’ll think she’s doing something wrong.

Assure Her That You’re Trustworthy

She might be afraid that if she makes a sexy video for you of herself, that she’ll be the next YouTube or Facebook star the moment you guys break up. This is a legitimate fear – one that you have to ease before she’ll ever step in front of the camera. If you’re with a new girl, don’t expect that she’s going to make a movie for you right away.

Take some time to build a trusting relationship with your partner so she knows you’re not going to sell out on her. Reassure her that this video is for your personal pleasure only and that if you break up with her, you will respect her enough to delete it immediately in front of her. Also, promise not to make any copies – and don’t.

Also, you can offer to make her a video in exchange for one of her if she’s still apprehensive that you might distribute the video in some way or show it to your friends. This way, she feels like she has a little leverage, or an “insurance policy” so to speak. However, this means you both have to trust each other with this kind of thing. If you don’t feel like your relationship is ready for this level of trust, put the homemade porn idea to bed until your relationship progresses.

6 Signs He’s Addicted To Sex

Kaylen Jackson — Wed, 15 Jun 2011 14:00:02 +0000

Sex is on every man’s mind pretty much all the time. But how can you tell when he’s crossed the line? Here are six dead giveaways that he’s an addict.

He Talks About Sex At Inappropriate Times

Even though men think about doing the nasty almost all the time, most men know when to keep their mouths shut about it. Most men aren’t going to try to hold a discussion about sex positions over the dinner table, but a man who is addicted to sex might not find anything wrong with this scenario. If he’s bringing up the topic of sex at really inappropriate times, such as at your parent’s house (in front of your parents) or during business meetings, he might be an addict.

Even if he doesn’t necessarily start talking about the amazing anal sex you had last night at a luncheon, he might still be an a addict if the subject of getting it on makes its way into his conversations often. These conversations may be reserved for you or his friends, but if that’s all he seems to be able to talk about with you, it could be a signal that he can’t stop thinking about doing it for more than a few minutes at a time.

He Watches Porn For Hours A Day

Often, men who are addicts will relieve themselves through watching porn and masturbating. All men masturbate – and most of them watch porn while they’re doing it – but that doesn’t mean that all guys are obsessed with getting it on. Normally, a man might only need to watch a dirty flick for several minutes before finishing the job, but a man with an addiction to sex may watch porn for hours at a time or several times a day.

He Needs To Masturbate Often In Addition To Frequent Sex

Even if a man has sex often with his partner, he’s still going to masturbate on the side. There’s nothing women can do about that and it’s completely natural. However, a man who is obsessed with it is going to go overboard on both counts – he’s going to be masturbating and having intercourse daily or even several times a day.

Even if you and your partner are having great intercourse daily, if he’s addicted to it, you may find him masturbating on the side as often as you have intercourse or perhaps even more. Most men are able to reach a point where they feel sexually satisfied and aren’t driven to have intercourse or masturbate, but men who are addicted to doing the dirty aren’t ever going to get to that “satisfied” place.

The Need For Sex Interrupts His Daily Life

As with any addiction, it becomes a true addiction when it begins to interrupt a person’s daily life. Is your partner adjusting his schedule to make time for more sex or masturbation? Is he late to functions because of intercourse or masturbation? Does he fail to make plans with his family or friends because he’d rather stay home and get it on or masturbate instead? These are all symptoms of a serious addiction. If you find that your partner’s need for sexual release is interfering with his life or your relationship, it may be time to seek help for his addiction.

He Cheats On You

For some addicts, sex with one partner and frequent masturbation isn’t even enough. He may begin to seek sexual release from other partners, especially if the opportunity presents itself. This is in part due to never feeling truly satisfied sexually, but also because getting it on is literally at the forefront of his thoughts all the time. A man who is addicted will have a difficult time looking at a woman and not associating her with sex in some form or fashion.

He Pressures You To Have Sex

A true addict really doesn’t like hearing “no” when it comes to getting it on. Some men who are really addicted to sex can be involved with rape or date rape, but most aren’t. However, a man that has a problem might put more pressure on a woman to have sex with him than an ordinary man would.

Your man might be an addict if he pressures you constantly to get busy with him, or doesn’t listen to you when you say “no.” If you’re constantly having to thwart his advances – especially at inappropriate times – consider seeking help for your partner for an addiction.

How To Give Multiple Orgasms Like A Porn Star

Isabella Stone — Tue, 07 Jun 2011 23:00:16 +0000

Multiple orgasms are considered the “holy grail” of sex for women – if you can give her more than one, you’re golden. Porn stars are often looked at as “sex gurus” – and in a way, they are. They do it A LOT more than the average person. Adult films are known for featuring some of the hottest women on earth, but they aren’t just about showcasing women who look good on camera.

The people who are able to make a career in the adult industry are all known being abso-freaking-lutely AMAZING in bed. The top porn stars in the world are better at giving their partners incredibly intense orgasms than just about anybody out there.

Can You Have A Porn Star Sex Life?

Now, just because you might never be receiving an award at the AVN, doesn’t mean you can’t have the sex life of a porn star. Here are several very powerful ways to give your partner multiple orgasms BEFORE you penetrate her, using only your fingers.

So how do you give your partner incredible, body-shaking orgasms with nothing but your fingers? Simple, just keep reading, and take notes.

Women can have many kinds of orgasms, but today we are going to focus on two kinds: Clitoral, and G-spot orgasms. First, you are going to learn how to make her cum by each one individually, and then I’m going to show you how to combine them for something so explosive, she very well may pop your ear drums from screaming so loudly.

Clitoral Orgasms

Doctors and other sex education experts have all agreed that a woman’s clitoris was designed solely for sexual pleasure. So being able to stimulate it properly is a great way to make her shake and moan for more.

In order to locate her clitoris, take your middle finger and starting at the opening of her vagina, slowly work your way up a bit, until you feel something that feels like a tiny knot. This, my friend is her clit, and all of the thousands of amazing nerve endings in it will thank you for finding it.

Now, start to slowly make small circles with your finger on her clit (either clock-wise or counter clock-wise, it’s up to you). Once you have a nice comfortable and even pace, you’ll very quickly notice her body shaking and her breathing pattern changing. Keep doing EXACTLY what you are doing. Too many men change up their technique, and this absolutely ruins the experience for women.

You should also keep in mind that the lighter you touch her clitoris, the better. Since she is so sensitive there, touching her any harder then you would touch your laptops track pad, could very easily hurt her and ruin the experience. Just this one simple technique alone can give just about any woman multiple orgasms, very quickly.

G-Spot Orgasms

First of all, the G-spot isn’t actually a “spot,” it’s actually an entire area located approximately 2 inches inside the vagina on the upper vaginal wall (on her stomach side, instead of the anus side).

So while your partner is lying on her back, insert your middle finger in to her vagina, with your palm facing upwards. Stroke your finger along her upper vaginal wall until you find something that feels like a ribbed surface, similar to the inside of your mouth, right behind your top row of front teeth.

Congratulations, you’ve now done something that most men will never do. You’ve found the G-spot! And now that you know where it is, it’s time to learn how to simulate it properly.

With her laying on her back, and you kneeling in front of her, with your middle and ring or pointer fingers touching her G-spot, you are going to want to use a “come over here” motion.

One thing you need to watch out for is the amount of pressure you use when fingering your partner. Most men are very strong, and don’t realize just how much they are using. Remember to be gentle when you are stimulating a woman’s G-spot, because it’s hard for us to enjoy what you’re doing, if is uncomfortable.

How To Tell If She’s Digging It

Okay, so how do you know that you’re woman is really enjoying it? Well asides from the moaning, screaming, body shaking, and her digging her mails in to you; you should pay close attention to her breathing patterns.

If her breathing seems a little erratic, and almost as if she’s panting, then that’s a great clue that you are doing a good job; but you can do even better.

The Ultimate Fingering Orgasm

If you can perfect those two techniques, you will be able to do what 95% of men cannot do – give her a blended orgasm.

If you think about it, combining both techniques should be pretty straightforward right? While your partner is lying on her back, you would use your dominant hand to stimulate her G-spot while simultaneously using your other hand to make those tiny circles on her clitoris.

Well, like most of life’s greatest pleasures, this is a bit trickier then you would think.

Since you are using both of your hands to perform different tasks, the brain has a very difficult time processing both things at the same time. If you have ever tried to play the drums, you should know exactly what I’m talking about.

Practice Makes Perfect

The only way to get this technique down perfectly is to practice, practice, practice. I highly recommend waiting until you are alone in your house to do this. Start by using a pillow as if it was a woman. Lay it down flat on either your bed or couch and imagine that it is your partner’s body.

Start with the clitoris technique for a few minutes, and then switch to the G-spot one. Once you feel comfortable enough, try to do them both at the same time. Most people will find this very frustration at first, but don’t worry. Star very slowly, and then gradually speed up a little.

If you practice this for 10-15 minutes a day, you should have no time mastering it within a couple of days (a week at the most). And then think about how amazing of a feeling it will be to know that you are one of the few people alive with the ability to give virtually any woman you want simultaneous multiple orgasms BEFORE penetration?

How To Enhance Your Orgasm – For Men

Kaylen Jackson — Thu, 05 May 2011 14:00:28 +0000

An orgasm for men – when they’re by themselves – is often just a “get it done” kind of thing. Guys are used to masturbating quickly, usually because they either grew up afraid to get caught or are still afraid to get caught – and for many guys, it’s a combination of both. Masturbation is a healthy part of any man’s sex life, so here’s how you can make your masturbation sessions so much more satisfying.

Use Lube During Masturbation

As much as this sounds like common sense, there are actually a lot of guys who just don’t use lube during masturbation. They often use nothing, or they’ll use some kind of lotion or petroleum jelly. These just aren’t suitable for masturbation. They dry out too quickly and can cause allergic reactions and rashes on the sensitive skin of the penis. Lube is specifically developed to be used during sex (and this includes when you go solo) so it feels better and will help give you an incredible orgasm.

Water based lube is always a good choice, but silicone based lube is also effective for masturbation because it’s thicker and it lasts longer. Lube is cheap and is available almost anywhere, including your local supermarket or drugstore. Many lubes are now created with special ingredients to either warm the penis or prolong an erection. Experiment with different lubes until you find the one that is best for you!

Consider Using Male Sex Toys

A lot of guys assume that sex toys are just for women to use – but there are actually a lot of fun toys for guys to use too! Masturbation sleeves can make a huge difference in how great your orgasm is. When used with lube, the simple silicone sleeve can make masturbation (and even a handjob from your lady) feel absolutely divine. Many masturbation sleeves come with ribbed or studded interiors, making the experience that much more pleasurable!

There are other male sex toys, including cock rings (which trap the blood inside the penis after an erection and make it last longer and stay harder) as well as butt plugs and prostate massagers. Next time you make a trip to the adult toy store – or if you’re browsing online – take a look and see what they have to offer for you – not just your woman!

Don’t Rush It

Since most guys grew up with the fear of getting caught spanking the monkey, they view masturbation as a “get it done quick” ritual. In fact, most men only need minutes to achieve orgasm when they’re stroking themselves. While an orgasm during a quickie masturbation session is certainly satisfactory, it definitely isn’t what you would consider “amazing” or even “okay.” It simply does the job.

If you want to make your orgasm better, take your time. Plan to masturbate during a time where you are home alone for significant period of time. Lock the doors, close the curtains and take a few deep breaths. Look at some erotica to start getting yourself aroused and then take your time with it. Don’t rush it – if you get close to orgasm, stop stimulating yourself. Pick it back up again after you’ve backed away from the brink of climax a little bit. Once you do this several times, you finally won’t be able to help going over the edge – but by this time, your pleasure will be so built up that the final release is nothing short of incredible.

Watch Porn – Good Porn

Porn is something almost every guy watches, and if he says he doesn’t, there’s an excellent chance that he’s lying. There’s nothing wrong with watching porn – men are visual creatures and have a difficult time becoming aroused and reaching orgasm if there isn’t any visual stimulation. So it makes sense that men watch adult movies when getting off, but surprisingly, a lot of men aren’t watching what really turns them on. Why?

Price could be a factor. DVD’s and subscriptions to adult websites can be expensive. Also, a guy may have a secret fetish that he’s just not willing to admit he has (even to himself) so he just makes do with whatever free porn he can find on the Internet. If you’re not watching the porn you really want to be watching, just get what you want and get on with it. Even if it means shelling out a few extra bucks. The increase in the pleasure of your orgasm will be well worth it.

Try Prostate Massage

If you’re really freaked out by the idea of anal play (on yourself), then skip this part entirely. But if the idea intrigues you and you just haven’t had the balls to do it yet, read on. The prostate is often considered the male “g-spot” and can provide a man with intense pleasure when it is simulated, especially in conjunction with sexual activity. Some men have experienced prostate massage with their partners, but have never tried it on themselves during masturbation.

If you’re open to the idea, purchase a small butt plug to start. You can also use a finger on the hand that you’re not using to stroke your penis. Make sure you have lots of good lube on hand, because anal play can really hurt without proper lubrication. To find your prostate on yourself, you will need to use the “come hither” motion (if you’re using your fingers) and move toward your stomach. This usually involves reaching down in between your legs rather than trying to reach around from behind. Go slow and work your way up in size if you’re using sex toys. Remember that if it ever hurts, stop! However, with practice, prostate massage can give you the kind of orgasms you never dreamed you’d have.

Crazy Things Women Do For Adult Films

Kaylen Jackson — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 14:00:35 +0000

Porn actresses have great bodies and have squeaky clean anal sex – but how do they get it? Are their vaginas just naturally the perfect shade of pink, with tiny, delicate looking labia? Truth is, women in the porn industry do a lot to their bodies to get them looking just right, especially for close ups. Check out the intense things porn stars do to get ready for the camera.

Anal Bleaching

Yes, you heard that right. Many adult film actresses have been known to have their anuses bleached, particularly right before a big anal sex or analingus scene. This is so the puckered skin around the anus appears lighter and less “brown,” making the anus look cleaner and more appealing on camera. Women can have this done at salons who offer this service, or a special cream can be purchased and applied in the privacy of the home. Anal bleaching is relatively safe, however, creams and bleaches should not be used if the anal area is inflamed or irritated in any way.

Brazilian Waxing

Women that you see in porn flicks are almost always perfectly smooth and hairless down there. If you’ve ever shaved your pubic region before, you know that you rarely – if ever – get a shave that close. The truth is, most porn stars get their privates waxed. This is called a Brazilian wax and usually involves taking off all the hair in the groin area, in between and around the labia and around the anus. This gives a silky smooth appearance, but can be quite painful.

Nipple Tinting

While photo and video editing software can be used to give the nipples that “rosy pink flush” that looks so great on film after the fact, many actresses in porn still use lip and cheek tints to give their nipples a more pink appearance in the flesh. This makes it look as though the woman is much more aroused than she really is. For this same reason, ice is often used on the nipples in between takes to make them pucker up and stand erect.

Labia Tinting

Lip and cheek tints can also be used on the labia area to make them look more pink and flushed, as though the woman is incredibly turned on and her genitals are swollen with arousal. Special tints for the vaginal area also exist, but are generally more expensive. If you’ve ever wondered why a porn star’s labia are so pink and fresh looking, it’s most likely because they’ve applied some kind of labia tint before the camera started rolling.

Enemas And Laxatives

Those anal sex scenes can be tough, because unless it’s a fetish video, fecal matter is a “no-no” on set. Most porn actresses will give themselves an enema beforehand, rinsing their colons completely clear of any matter whatsoever. Others will use laxatives to clean themselves out so they don’t have any accidents on screen. This gives couples engaging in anal sex on their own think that it’s going to be a perfectly clean activity – when in reality, if the woman hasn’t prepared herself beforehand, it can actually get pretty messy.

Extreme Dieting

Many girls in the adult film industry will end up dieting to the extreme just to make their bodies appear thinner on screen, but extreme dieting is also used when an anal sex scene is to be filmed, in conjunction with enemas or laxatives. Women in porn have been known to starve themselves up to twenty four hours to prepare for a scene, just to make sure that the anal play ends up squeaky clean. On the other hand, women in “golden shower” fetish videos will take in an excess of liquids to make sure she has enough urine for the many different takes that will be filmed.

Labiaplasty And Breast Augmentation

It’s pretty obvious that a large number of women in the adult film industry have gotten a boob job. You can tell by the way their breasts barely move as they’re getting pounded on screen, and the way the skin of their breasts look stretched tight over their too large implants. However, you might not be able to tell that many women in the industry have also gotten labiaplasties.

These surgeries involve shortening the labia so they look smaller and more dainty, giving the vagina an overall tinier and tighter appearance. This gives the illusion and creates the misconception that vaginas should look perfect to be considered attractive, when in reality, vaginas are all shapes, sizes and colors!

Porn: How To Make Your Own (And Make It Great)

Kaylen Jackson — Tue, 29 Mar 2011 14:00:20 +0000

Making a porn flick with your lover sounds really hot, but it can lack a lot of luster when you play it back after the fact. You may not look the way you want to, the angle of the camera may not flatter you or things that you thought would translate well on screen don’t. If you want to do a porn with your partner, there are a few technical things to keep in mind when you’re making the movie. Here’s how you can be sure your amateur porn looks as hot as it was doing it!

Watch A Few Porn Videos Together

Sit down with your partner and watch a few adult movies together. Figure out what you like and what you don’t like. Decide what looks hot and looks like you might want to try, and decide what you want to keep off screen. For example, don’t videotape your first time engaging in anal sex. That just won’t go well. Figure out what you want to do first, next and then how you want to finish up. Don’t be afraid to write it down. Professionals have a script and a storyboard, why can’t you?

Consider Hiring A Trusted Friend

One of the best things about real porn is that the camera goes in and out, focusing on different aspects of what the couple on screen is doing and grabbing those awesome close ups. You just aren’t going to achieve that with a standing tripod. If you want one camera angle, or don’t have anyone that you feel close enough with to ask this favor, a tripod will be fine.

However, if you want a film that turns out really great, consider hiring a close friend that you trust (perhaps even one with some knowledge of video cameras and filming techniques) to film you and your lover getting down. The finished product will most likely turn out much, much better and you’ll get views of you and your partner that you’ve never had before.

Invest In A Good Camera

No, the video camera on your cell phone isn’t going to work this time. If you don’t already have a good video camera, it may be time to invest in one before you start filming an amateur porn. It may be a pricey investment, however, you’ll be very glad you spent the money when you view the end result. Poor quality video cameras tend to be grainy or pixelated, making it difficult for you to see what’s really going on in the movie. When detail is important, a good camera is essential. Why would you want to tape a homemade porn when you’re not going to be able to see saliva on your partner’s penis as you give him a blowjob or vice versa when he’s giving you oral sex?

Make Sure You Have The Right Lighting

Lighting plays a very important part in any movie, and porn is no exception. Porn lighting can be tricky though, because you want enough light to make sure the camera picks up on everything, but you don’t want the fluorescent kind that highlights your every flaw. You can rent some lighting setups from your local rental agency, or you can purchase a few cheap floodlights from a hardware or home building store.

Buy An Outfit (Or Two)

Don’t wear your old, ratty pajamas when you shoot a homemade porn. Instead, spend a few extra bucks and get something nice for both you and your partner to wear. Lingerie, of course, looks great on camera, but it’s very important that you find something that flatters your body type. If you can fit into a garter belt and a pair of stockings without a muffin top hanging out, good for you. Go for it! However, if you’re a little bigger, you’ll want to buy something that flatters you.

Not so fond of your stomach? Try a baby doll top with sheer, filmy organza that flutters over your stomach and rests on your hips. Don’t like your arms but think your legs are bangin? Splurge on a minidress with tight long sleeves that rests just below where your butt and your legs meet. High heels or stilettos are a must for women, simply because no matter what you’re wearing, they’ll make your legs look fantastic.

Grooming

Grooming before shooting a porn is important, because you want to look your best. Of course, hair and makeup is a must but what about body makeup? Find a color of concealer or foundation that matches your body’s skin tone and use it to cover up blemishes on your legs and arms. You’d be surprised at how a bruise that you didn’t even know you had shows up on film after the fact.

You’ll also want to trim or shave your pubic hair, legs and armpits. Men may want to trim or shave their chest hair, depending on what you want to look like on film.

Use Editing Software

So your video is filmed and you’re ready to make the finished product. Consider purchasing or downloading video editing software to help you in the process. With editing software, you really can turn something mediocre into something fabulous. Just being able to cut out the scenes that you’re not happy with is well worth it right there, not counting the countless other cool features that can give your video that “wow” factor.

Above all, make sure that you’re filming a porn with someone that you trust and don’t allow copies to be made that aren’t expressly agreed upon by both of you. Remember to have fun and if you and your partner split, make sure the tape and any copies (digital or otherwise) are destroyed. Next time you and your lover want to heat things up, throw in your homemade porn and watch you and your lover get it on!

Why Women Do (Or Don’t) Watch Porn

Kaylen Jackson — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 14:00:13 +0000

Porn isn’t just for guys – ladies enjoy it too! A lot of girls really enjoy watching porn, either with their partners as a form of foreplay or without their partners to arouse them before and during masturbation. However, there are many ladies that just can’t stand the idea of adult movies. Here’s the downlow on why girls do (or don’t) like naughty flicks.

Why Women Want To Watch Porn

There are many reasons a woman might want to enjoy porn, although it’s not exactly the majority of a woman’s preferred way to get turned on or masturbate. However, if a girl is eyeballing a dirty flick, she might be doing it to:

Masturbate

Believe it or not, guys aren’t the only ones who want to check out a skin flick before or during masturbation. While many girls prefer reading erotic novels, some of them do, in fact, enjoy visual stimulation before “clicking their own mouse.”

Get Turned On Before Sex

Some girls have a difficult time becoming really aroused before having sex with their lovers. A woman may look at porn either with or without her partner before sex to give herself time to get warmed up before getting busy. If watched with your partner before getting it on, porn can become an integral part of foreplay.

Get Sex Advice

While porn probably isn’t the best place to get sex advice and “how to” tips from, many ladies look at it for that very reason nonetheless. You can learn many things from an adult movie, from how to give a blowjob (porn style, of course) and different sex positions that you and your lover might be interested in trying. If you’re watching porn to understand sex better, however, remember that it is a movie and it is acting. You’d be better off snagging a video that is specifically made to teach sex techniques.

Just See What It’s All About

A lot of girls are curious just to see what the big fuss is all about. Pretty much every guy watches porn (and they even make a big deal out of having it and hiding it), so a girl may check out a naughty flick just to see what’s up.

Indulge In Taboo Fantasies

Everyone has different sex fantasies, and some ladies may have a sex fantasy that is a little more taboo than what she or her partner is willing to actually do. Porn can be a great way to indulge in taboo or secret sex fantasies that you aren’t ready to try yet. Fetish videos are popular ways to indulge in a fetish that you want to keep hidden, like a diaper fetish or other uncommon fetishes. Skin flicks are also a great way to experience a sex fantasy for the first time without jumping right in with both feet.

See What Her Man Is Watching Behind Her Back

Girls will often catch their guy watching or looking at porn, or they may stumble across it unexpectedly while their partner is at work. She may throw it away or delete it, but chances are, she’s going to take a look at it first. Why? She wants to see exactly what is getting her lover off behind her back.

Why Women Don’t Want To Watch Porn

The far majority of girls actually choose not to look at adult movies, but probably not for reasons you might think. If a woman absolutely hates naughty films or would rather read an erotic novel than check out a skin flick, here’s why:

The Male Actors Aren’t Physically Attractive

A big penis isn’t all that a woman is interested in. Most adult movie actors are chosen for their penis size, not for their facial features or even the attractiveness of the rest of her body. While physical looks aren’t always what attract a woman to a guy, eye candy is important when you’re watching a skin flick. However, the porn industry mostly caters to guys in this respect, because many of the females featured in adult films are good looking with hot bodies. Not so much with the guys in nudie films.

They Deem It Disrespectful

The far majority of girls that choose not to look at porn do so because they feel like it’s disrespectful towards the female gender. Many adult movies do feature girls in compromising sex positions and doing compromising things, but not all of them. Some adult films – especially the less “hardcore” ones – will actually convey a woman in a very positive way.

The Plot…Wait, What Plot?

For a woman to become turned on, she usually has to be engaged mentally as well as physically. This is often the problem with adult movies, because while many adult film producers struggle to give a film at least some kind of plot, they generally don’t do a good job of it. Pizza delivery boy or dishwasher repairman sex? Most girls aren’t going to find that attractive, let alone believable.

It Just Doesn’t Do It For Her

Since females generally need mental stimulation to get turned on, the visual stimulation offered in skin flicks may just not do it for a girl. Why would she want to check out a sub-par porn when she can read an erotic novel and let her imagination take off – turning her on much, much more than a simple movie ever could.

She’s Insecure About Her Body

Ladies that don’t have high self esteem or are insecure about their bodies may not want to watch adult films and they may even get upset when their partner watches it. Adult movie actresses are often very glamorized in skin flicks, with the right lighting, lingerie and makeup to make them look their best. Porn actresses will often have had plastic surgery of some kind, especially breast augmentation or liposuction or tummy tucks. This can be very intimidating for a real woman to watch, even if she looks gorgeous.

She Has An Ample Supply Of Erotic Novels

Most girls just aren’t going to get off by watching a nudie film. It’s as simple as that. A woman that has an ample supply of erotic novels is probably not going to need to look at a skin flick at all.

Porn Moves Men Shouldn’t Use – Are You Guilty?

Kaylen Jackson — Sun, 02 Jan 2011 14:00:50 +0000

While porn is a great way to check out your favorite sex fantasies being acted out, there are some things that happen in a porn movie that you don’t want to re-enact with your partner regardless of how adventurous you think she is. These are moves that most ladies will find offensive at best and may even leave you on the front porch with your bag in hand. Here’s what you need to avoid, no matter how much the idea turns you on – leave it to the professionals.

Deep Throating Without Telling Her First

In a porn movie blowjob, the object is not to give the man the best orgasm, but rather to put the woman in a submissive position and the man in a dominant one during sex. Often, the man will deep throat the woman during a blowjob, but will shove his penis as far down her throat as he can. He will usually do this without telling the woman first, surprising her by gagging her and making her eyes water. While many guys enjoy watching this in a porn because of the strong S&M factor, it’s probably not something you want to try at home with your girlfriend or wife. Not only will you piss her off, you may also get a lap full of vomit.

Anal Sex Without Lube

Porn does a great job of making anal sex look super easy. He just slips his penis in her anus and thrusts away, without worrying about a thing. And the best part is that the woman looks like she’s enjoying it, right? The reason that this works in porn but not in real life is that porn actresses are more accustomed to anal sex and large objects in the anus than your average girl off the street. If you want to try anal sex with your partner, start small (like with a finger or a small butt plug) and use lots and lots of good, water based lube. Anal sex without lube can hurt your partner, tear the anal tissues and may even cause an injury serious enough to win you both a visit to the emergency room.

Giving Her A “Facial”

Anyone who has watched porn knows about the “money shot.” When a man is ready to have an orgasm, he pulls his penis out and allows the camera to see him ejaculate on his partner – usually the vagina, thighs or butt. When a woman is giving a man a blowjob in a porn, he may pull his penis out and ejaculate on her face (thus, giving it the name a “facial.”) Some girls do enjoy being ejaculated on (and may even enjoy it in the face) but the far majority of real ladies will consider this demeaning and upsetting. If you want to give your girl a facial, talk to her about it beforehand and see if she’s down with it. If not, find somewhere else to finish the job.

Slapping Her With Your Penis

Guys in porn videos also have a bad habit of “slapping” their partners with their penises when having sex. This may be to help keep his penis hard, but it works the same way as deep throating – it’s another way to make a man appear dominant the woman submissive. Your lover may not mind having her butt slapped with your penis during anal sex or vaginal intercourse, but may get offended if you slap her in the face with it during a blowjob. If you want to smack your girl a little with your penis during sex, talk to her first and let her know that you’d love to try it. She may surprise you with her answer!

Blowjob After Anal Sex

Many anal sex porn flicks will feature the woman giving a man a blowjob right after he’s had anal sex with her. While this may appear sexy to some, it’s actually a very dangerous activity. While you generally don’t see any feces on his penis before she puts her mouth on it (this is because porn actresses will usually go through a regimen of fasting and enemas before filming), it’s covered in bacteria that could make her sick. If you would rather keep your girl out of the hospital with a nasty bout of e-coli, wash your penis thoroughly with soap and hot water after anal sex before doing anything else, including vaginal intercourse. You can also wear a condom during anal sex and take it off before vaginal intercourse or oral sex if you’re with a monogamous partner without STD’s.

How To Make Porn With Your Girlfriend – And Have Her Love It

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 13 Dec 2010 14:00:22 +0000

Porn is something just about every guy enjoys. While most men watch their porn in secret, they secretly want to make a porn with themselves and their girlfriend or wife. If you want to make an adult movie with your significant other but aren’t sure how to bring the topic up, you need to make it fun, and make her feel great about herself and how she’ll look on film. Check out these tips to get your girl to do a movie with you – and even get into it herself!

Introducing Porn Into Your Relationship

If you’ve never introduced a porn into your relationship to watch with your significant other, now is the time to do it. Rather than jumping feet first into asking your girl to do a porn with you, try to find something you and she can watch and enjoy together first. Grab a skin flick that showcases something you know she really enjoys – for example, if she really loves oral sex, make sure to get a video that has a lot of that particular activity in it. Talk to your partner about what she likes and doesn’t like before you go out and buy anything, so you can make sure you’re getting something she won’t be offended by.

Bringing The Subject Up

Dragging out the camera and tripod one night before you get busy is not the way to bring up the subject of making a porn. Instead, make sure to bring up how hot you’d think she’d be on film and how you’d love to make a tape of you both making love. Telling your love how much the idea of watching you both making love on camera turns you on (without putting too much pressure on) is the best way to get your lady to warm up to the idea. Don’t suggest doing something she’s never tried before for the first time on camera – for example, if she’s never tried anal sex, being recorded the first time isn’t going to make your partner love it. In fact, she’ll probably hate it and never do it again!

Don’t Push Too Hard

If your sweetheart isn’t receptive to the idea of having sex with you on film, don’t push the issue too far. It may be tempting to try to “convince” your lover that it’s a great idea, but if she’s already said no and you keep pushing the issue, she’s not going to appreciate you for it. This may lead to fighting and arguing, or it may turn your sweetheart off the idea altogether. If she doesn’t want to do it, let it go and think about bringing it up another time.

Making Her Feel Good About It

Making your significant other feel good about being on camera is one of the biggest obstacles you face when making an adult movie with them. Buy a new outfit for your woman to wear (something she feels great in) and give her time to do hair and makeup before the camera starts rolling. Tell your girlfriend or wife how sexy you think she looks and continue to offer a compliment here and there while you are filming. Self esteem (next to the fear of the movie getting out) is most likely your woman’s biggest issue with being a “porn star.”

Making It Fun

You don’t have to start out with having sex on film right away. Why not experiment a little with a digital camera or even your webcam and take fun pictures of you and your girl kissing, or even giving a blowjob with all (or most) of your clothes on? Starting off slowly and taking baby steps rather than starting out being fully naked in a porn film might help your partner warm up to the idea rather than shunning it completely.

The Trust Issue

Besides being self concious, your girl is probably afraid that the porn will get out somehow and someone she doesn’t want to see it will end up getting a peek. Assure your partner that you’re going to delete the video right after, and make a point to delete it together. Don’t break your woman’s trust by secretly uploading it onto your computer or letting your friends watch it – even if you are just trying to prove that your girl is smokin’ hot and great in bed. Let her know that she can trust you completely with a sexy videotape and that you’re not going to compromise her integrity by allowing a thing like that to get out. Don’t just say it – show your woman you mean it!

4 Things Every Girl Must Learn From Porn Stars

Kaylen Jackson — Thu, 21 Oct 2010 14:00:10 +0000

There are lots of things that porn stars do that you definitely don’t want to take with you into the bedroom, but does that also mean that there’s nothing we can learn from porn stars? Not at all. There are lots of sex tips that you can and probably should learn from porn stars that can make you a sex goddess and make your sex life super hot. Surprisingly, these tips aren’t super secret special techniques that porn stars know and the regular world doesn’t – in fact, they’re more like philosophies that porn stars have that can actually make your sex life sizzle.

Act Like You Want It!

The single most important thing that porn stars do in adult movies is they act like they want it everywhere, any way and all the time. Of course, much of it is acting but this is definitely a philosophy you can use in the bedroom – without going overboard of course. When giving your man a blowjob, really get into it. Act like it is the only thing you want to be doing right then and pleasing your man is your priority. Act like you’re going to starve to death or the world is going to fall apart if you don’t give him head and that going down on him is something you need to do! The same goes for sex – when he’s penetrating you, that’s all that exists at that moment and that’s all you want too! You may be acting a lot at first, but as you get into it and show him you want it, you’ll actually start to realize how much you actually do want it.

Don’t Worry About Your Bod

One thing that porn stars don’t worry about is how they look. They know they look good and they’re comfortable with themselves – but is this because they look better than everyone else? Not hardly! They just know something that girls who aren’t porn stars haven’t figured out yet – that guys don’t really care about their cellulite or whatever other insecurities they have about their bodies. When they’re having sex, the last thing your guy is thinking about is your thighs, except for the fact that he’s blissed out because they’re wrapped around them! So make like a porn star and forget all about your bodily insecurities so you can try those crazy sex positions that you haven’t tried yet because you’re afraid they’ll make your ass look big.

Dress Sexy

Porn stars know that above all else, men are visual creatures. They process information best when they actually see it, and they get turned on most when they see things that are sexy. This is why you often see porn stars keeping their push up bras or stilettos on during sex, because they know it adds that extra bit of visual flair that will really make a man melt. So instead of turning out the lights and getting totally naked when you and your man have sex, leave the light on or light a few candles to help illuminate the room so he can see what’s going on. You can also wear some sexy lingerie or just keep your chic work outfit on and let him lift up the skirt for an extra naughty touch. Dressing sexy also applies to what you wear outside of the bedroom, around the house or to work. Instead of putting on what is comfortable for you, think more about how you can dress to please your man. Sure, the cotton nightie is way more comfortable than the camisole set, but with the latter, sex is going to be on your partner’s mind the whole time you’re wearing it.

Introduce Dirty Talk

Men like to hear what’s going on in the bedroom as much as they like to see it. Porn stars are very vocal about what they want, what they like and how something feels – and that’s not at all a bad thing! Try incorporating some dirty talk into your sex routine to make it a little more steamy. If you’re fairly quiet during sex, you can simply start by making a few vocal sounds when your partner really does something to you that you like. Or, if you’re too shy to tell him what you want him to do to you, describe what you’re doing to him instead. Sometimes, dirty talk is simply a verbal play by play of what is going on and how much you or your partner like it. Get your partner into the dirty talk too by asking him what he wants to do to you!

Men And Porn – What’s The Big Deal?

Andrew Wang — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 14:00:26 +0000

Men are very visual creatures, not least of all when it comes to sex. Walk down a crowded street, and you’ll likely see at least one guy overtly checking out an attractive woman. So overcome is he at the mere sight of her, that he’s forgotten how to be subtle. If a man can be dumbfounded at the sight of a fully-clothed woman, it should be no surprise that men love looking at naked women. Boy, do they—thanks in great part to the male love of watching attractive, nude women doing sexy things, the porn industry generates well over an estimated $10 billion a year in the U.S. alone (“Porn in the U.S.A.” by R. Leung, 60 Minutes online). It’s safe to say that, if they’re pulling in that kind of money on an annual basis, there are a whole lot of men partaking in porn viewership. But why do they do it, and how can you tell if their viewing habits are normal or not?

The Real Reason Men Like Porn

Some women are completely comfortable with their significant other’s porn consumption, but many are not. Oftentimes, women feel that their boyfriend or spouse must not be satisfied with their sex lives at home if they also want to view porn. The truth is that the vast majority of men who watch pornography aren’t doing it for any of those reasons. It doesn’t reflect on their love for their partner or how happy they are about the sex they’re having at home. They just enjoy the novelty and fantasy of it. Porn is like a dirty dream that doesn’t require your subconscious to do any work. Plus, as mentioned above, men are so visual when it comes to arousal that it helps them to have actual images to view. Perhaps women aren’t as into porn as men because they’re better at inventing their own fantasies. Girls can close their eyes and imagine a sexy situation involving themselves, but men need to see something right out in front of them.

Is Your Sex Life Suffering?

Ultimately, there’s nothing wrong with a guy who enjoys porn. You should only be worried if your sex life is suffering. If your boyfriend or husband can’t become aroused without watching porn, or he hardly ever wants to have sex with you but is regularly masturbating to porn, you need to have a talk. But if he wants to use porn every once and awhile, and it isn’t diminishing the quality of the sex you two are having, then more power to him. Perhaps you should even try watching some porn with him—who knows? You might find some ideas worth experimenting with in your own bedroom.

Women Like Porn Too!

In fact, despite the stereotype that men love porn and women don’t, many members of the fairer sex have enjoyed their share. In a recent Glamour Magazine column by Rebecca Webber (entitled “Are You Normal About Porn?”), the author revealed that 31% of young women have viewed porn within the past year, and 51% of women have watched pornography with their boyfriend. Though they also noted that 31% of women consider porn degrading, the numbers show that many women are either curious about or enjoying pornography. In fact, 47% of women reported liking porn featuring a man and a woman. Only 20% enjoyed less vanilla sex, so men take note—if you want to bring porn into your bedroom, start with something a little less adventurous. Try to get your partner’s input– that way you’ll pick material that will turn her on, too.

Adult Movies: Pick Your Pleasure – Porn And Beyond

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 05 Oct 2010 14:00:01 +0000

Adult movies and porn have been “taboo” for many years. Many guys watch porn behind their wife’s or girlfriend’s back alone, in the dark, and often in less than five minutes. Adult movies can be used in so many more ways than just masturbation though! There are hundreds of different kinds of adult movies, so everyone can find their own “flavor.” You and your partner can explore adult movies together to spice up your sex life, and you can use them to explore different sex fantasies without actually trying them. Here’s why adult movies can add that little extra something to your sex life.

Watching Adult Movies Together

A lot of women view porn as “degrading” and assume it’s something that their husbands or boyfriends look at and masturbate to in private – and they do. But it doesn’t have to be that way! Instead of keeping the porn stashed under the mattress or in some innocuous folder deep inside your computer’s hard drive, share it with your partner. Start by browsing different videos together and talking about what each of you like and don’t like. There are so many different styles of adult movies out there that with a little digging, you’ll find a few movies that you and your partner both get turned on by. Watch them together and watch the sparks between you fly!

Trying Your Fantasies Through Videos

So you like the idea of bondage or spanking, or maybe even a little golden shower here and there, but you’ve been afraid to try it. Try watching an adult video that features your chosen fantasy and see how other people are doing it. You may discover that whatever you thought you liked really isn’t your thing, or you may find out that after watching the video, you really do want to try it with your partner! Exploring your sex fantasies through adult movies is a great way to dip your toes in the water without jumping in feet first.

Hardcore vs. Softcore Porn

One of the biggest misconceptions about porn is that it is all hardcore. Many women – and some men – assume that all porn consists of is rough sex and uncomfortable close ups on the actors’ genitals. While a great deal of hardcore porn does exist, it is definitely not the only kind of adult movies that exist. If hardcore porn isn’t up your alley, try checking out some softcore porn instead. These videos don’t show as much as hardcore adult movies do. Think of a rated “R” movie with nudity and just add a little bit more – that’s basically what you’ll find in a softcore adult video.

Kink & Fantasies

Everyone has a different fantasy when it comes to sex, and there is no shortage of kink & sex fantasies in the adult movie industry. No matter what you like – with a few exceptions – there’s a video for it. Whether you want to see two girls going at it or anal sex, you’ll find an adult movie for it and you will most likely find videos that have more than one fetish or fantasy in it. Other fantasies, such as shoe fetishes, smoking fetishes and even diaper fetishes are featured in adult videos, so if you have a fantasy that you’ve been wanting to check out, try finding a video for it. Just remember that there are videos out there that feature things that are illegal or simply just cross way over the line, so make sure that whatever you’re watching consists only of consenting adults and no one is getting seriously harmed.

Amateur Porn

Amateur porn is quickly becoming popular with websites such as YouPorn, which feature mostly regular people with webcams who film themselves having sex. If you’ve never been one for the “Lights, Camera, Action!” feel of a lot of adult movies, amateur porn may be right up your alley.

Sex Ed

If you want to learn how to give a great blowjob or want to learn other great sex techniques, the best place to learn actually isn’t porn. However, there are lots of adult videos that are focused on sex education. Most of them do feature actors having sex and performing the activity they’re teaching, but it’s less of a spectacle and more about instruction. These films are great to watch with you partner when you want to do something different in the bedroom but aren’t sure exactly how to get started. They’ll also help show you techniques that you never even thought of doing – and that will blow your partner’s mind!

Strip Clubs & Porn – What Role Do They Play In A Relationship?

He Said/She Said with John & Jenna — Tue, 31 Aug 2010 23:00:44 +0000

Guys like their strip clubs and porn as much as they like their football and beer. But what role do they play in your relationship? Should you be angry? Should you be jealous? We’ll get to the bottom of this so you don’t have to.

What She Said:

We’ve talked a lot recently about marriage – is it dead, should you just shack up, should you have an open relationship? What do strip clubs and porn have to do with all this? Well, they are the great equalizer.

What’s that? What do titties, pole dancers and money shots have to do with love? Fidelity, sexual release, sexual fantasy and role-playing come to mind. Sounds kind of fun, doesn’t it? Whether you’re in a brand-new relationship or have been married for ten years, a healthy appetite for sex still remains at the top of the “Must Have” list for a happy partnership. The visual prompt of an evening at a strip club, or an evening in with a DVD from Sugar, can stimulate ideas for you and your partner. It doesn’t have to be an all-the-time thing, but throwing a little something in the mix can definitely spice things up.

To use a broad generalization, men are visual and women are emotional. “Allowing” your guy the option of blatantly ogling some strippers can be freeing – for both of you. Hell, what not get in on the act and go to a strip club together? You can see what kind of things turn your partner on – and emulate them at home. He’ll most assuredly find a way to return the favor! The best part? It’s a way for you to both safely indulge in play without repercussions. Believe me; that beautiful pole dancer isn’t a threat and she doesn’t want to go home with your man. She wants to finish her shift and get out of those painful shoes. There’s rarely any harm to “just looking.” The same goes with porn – and even less so, because you can only lick a T.V. screen for so long before realizing it doesn’t taste very good.

Please note: this isn’t to say your boyfriend/husband isn’t happy with you. You are beautiful and you are more than enough woman for your partner! This is more about shared fantasy and exploration – you get an equal say in what you’re comfortable with, as well as what is exciting! If you feel like you have to give into the strip club experience in order to keep your relationship, this isn’t for you. If you feel equally “naughty” and are having just as much fun – go to the bank, get a bunch of one-dollar bills and enjoy your night!

What He Said:

I actually don’t like strip clubs. There. I said it. I’m all for hot naked chicks, but to me, a stripper is just a really hot used car salesman. She doesn’t give a shit about you. She’s just looking to make the sale, and she’ll do anything to get that commission. Also, most strippers are really bad at their job: convincing the men in the joint that they’d actually like to do them. Really great customer service from strippers is as rare as calling a 1-800 number and getting a U.S. based customer service rep. That, and any strip club is locked down. I mean, seriously, they operate on DEFCON five. You look at one of those girls wrong and some large man will appear out of nowhere and beat the shit out of you. It’s very anal and restrictive in that way. And laws vary from state to state, so things may be a lot tamer than you’d think.

Still, it’s good for our female readers to go, mainly because they’ll never get jealous or upset about their man going again. You’ll be like “He gets turned on by this? This is way lamer than Chippedales! At least then I get to grab his cock!” Well, maybe not that far, but you get the idea.

And your man will love you if you go, because every guy wants to be the one who BRINGS a woman to the strip club. You go, you put down a dollar, you get molested by the stripper (she WILL take your top off, don’t know why, it’s just one of the laws of the universe), and you get a lap dance, and he’ll be harder than Chinese arithmetic. He will molest you when you get home if he makes it that far.

Porn is a tricky subject, because it’s written and shot, more for men than women. That’s changing. Damn feminists. Lol. If you find yourself a female made porn then you can find the plot, emotion and all that other crap that women care about and he can see hot chicks naked and going at it.

It can be a great way to spice up your relationship, especially if you’re monogamous. If you are, it’s going to get boring at some point, or you’re going to need to spice it up. That’s just a given. Porn and strip clubs are a tool. Like a hammer. You can build a house with one or bludgeon someone to death. It’s not the item that’s bad. It’s the person and the application that matter.

Q&A: Why Is My Partner Hiding Porn From Me?

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 01 May 2010 14:00:43 +0000

The majority of men watch porn, but the majority of their partners don’t know about it. Men are very good at keeping porn and masturbation a secret – but do they have to? Your partner isn’t hiding porn from you because he’s hiding other things from you too. Here’s what to do if your partner hides his porn or denies watching it.

Question: I discovered that my partner has been looking at porn and hasn’t told me, in fact if it ever comes up he claims he doesn’t. I’ve even tried to get him to watch it with me before and he says he doesn’t like it and doesn’t want to watch it. What does this mean and should I worry that he’s hiding other things from me?

–YouTube Viewer

Secret Masturbation Is A Habit

Growing up, if a boy got his hands on a Playboy magazine, he was lucky. If he didn’t want Mom to take it away, he’d make sure it was hidden really well and if asked about masturbation, he would deny, deny, deny. A lot of men carry this habit into their relationships with women, but not because he doesn’t trust you. It’s an old habit that dies hard, and some men just don’t think anything about stashing their porn or masturbating in secret because they’ve done it for so long. A man isn’t going to come up to his partner and say, “Hey, I was looking at porn today, what do you think?” It’s just something he does by himself and always has. It doesn’t mean he’s hiding other things from you or that you can’t trust him.

Build Trust

Build trust with your partner by masturbating in front of him and sharing your fantasies with him. Be open with him sexually and make him feel comfortable being sexually open with you. Encourage him to share his fantasies with you as well. Fondle him while you fondle yourself, and trade places. Let him fondle you while he fondles himself and see what happens. Don’t criticize your partner at all sexually, because you want to help him feel that the proverbial bedroom is a safe place to be where he can be himself and not worry about criticism or judgement of any kind. He needs to know that masturbation isn’t wrong and you’re not going to shun him for doing it. He’s not twelve anymore and he doesn’t have to hide masturbation from you. It’s a normal and healthy part of being a man and you need to help him to feel that way by being open and accepting.

Lead By Example

If you want to watch porn with your partner, lead by example. Bring some porn that turns you on to the table and let him know that you’re interested in watching it together. Don’t ask him to share his own porn with you because it will only serve to make him nervous and uncomfortable thinking about you watching his porn and picking it apart. Get some porn that can specifically be “couples porn” and only watch it with each other. Show him that he doesn’t need to be embarrassed about being turned on by porn and that porn can be a great way to spice up your sex life together.

Q&A: How Can I Get Him To Stop Watching Porn?

Dan and Jennifer — Sat, 03 Apr 2010 14:04:56 +0000

Most men watch porn. Unfortunately, a lot of women want to stop their partner from watching porn. These women want their man to look only at them, and think that only they are hot or sexy. Is this a realistic outlook for how a man should behave in a relationship? Or should women relax a little bit and let a man be himself?

Question: What can I do to get my boyfriend to stop looking at porn and not say that other girls are cute/hot/sexy in front of me? I know he’d probably still say it in front of his friends but I don’t like him saying it around me.

–YouTube Viewer

Men Are Visual Creatures

Men are hardwired to be turned on by visual stimulation. Unlike women, most men can’t read a book to help them get turned on. Instead, most men watch some form of pornography to help them get turned on sexually. Every man likes something different when it comes to porn, whether it’s soft nudity or something a little more hardcore. There’s nothing wrong with a man watching porn to get turned on – it’s completely natural. Unless he’s watching porn and masturbating all the time instead of having sex with you, it’s perfectly normal. He doesn’t qualify for having a porn addiction unless watching porn is something that interrupts or takes over his daily life.

Other Women Can Be Pretty

When you started dating your partner, every other girl in the world didn’t magically get ugly. Forcing him to only look at you and think you are pretty is unreasonable and controlling. It will make your partner feel as though he can’t be honest with you or be himself around you, and it can wreak havoc on your relationship. Let him look at other women, and if he makes a comment about them, so be it. As long as he’s not being derogatory and making comments about how you should look like that, there’s no harm done. Learn to have enough self confidence to know that he thinks you’re sexy and hot too – and his favorite.

Lose The Jealousy Issues

If you find yourself wanting to force your man to stop watching porn or stop glancing at other women around you, it’s time to lose the jealousy issues. It’s normal for a man to watch porn and to notice pretty women around him. What isn’t normal is having such a low self esteem that you feel the need to control your partner so that he only looks at you. Realize that your partner chose to be with you and he makes that choice again every day as he continues to be with you and have a relationship with you. That runs so much deeper than simply thinking another girl is hot or pretty, or being turned on by nakedness. Who isn’t intrigued by nudity? We’re human and it’s part of us. Talk to a counselor – they can help you build your self esteem and learn to love yourself whether your partner looks at porn and other women or not. If you don’t lose the jealousy issues, you might very well lose your man.

How To Watch Porn With Your Partner

Kaylen Jackson — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 14:00:40 +0000

Just about every guy likes watching porn – and most women don’t like it. But what if you watched porn with your partner? Could watching porn with your man make your sex life better? Absolutely – and you might learn a thing or two. Next time you’re at the video store, rent a naughty flick or purchase one online. Set aside a night one week that you and your partner can watch the movie together – just leave plenty of time for afterwards too!

What Not To Do When Watching Porn With Your Partner

Don’t ask your partner to pick out what he likes. You might not like the answer. Instead, choose a flick that you and he agree on and has elements that turn you both on.
Don’t ask him to compare the woman in the movie to you in either looks or technique. This is a common mistake that many women make when watching porn with their partner, but it can be disastrous. Your partner doesn’t know the right answer to this – because no answer is a good answer.
Don’t compare any men in the video to your man – at all - especially if you’re commenting on penis size.
Don’t try to use porn to solve emotional or sexual problems in your relationship. If you and your partner aren’t both confident and open with each other, it will likely make any underlying issues you have worse.
Don’t be afraid to tell your partner that you’re uncomfortable with something. If a certain movie or technique makes you uncomfortable – especially if he wants you to try it – let your partner know that it’s just not something that you’re comfortable with. Don’t be critical or judge him because it’s something that turns him on – simply suggest something else that you would both like.

What You Should Do When You Watch Porn With Your Partner

Keep an open mind!
Try watching amateur porn if you’re uncomfortable with pornography actors.
Try making your own porn with your camcorder and watching it instead of traditional pornography. This can be a great learning experience too, because it allows both you and your partner to see your sexual techniques from a different point of view and can give you new ideas on how to improve your sexual skills.
Watch the movie naked with your partner – it will be easier to allow the video to transition smoothly into sex with your partner.
Have a “porn night.” Once a week or once a month, have a night that is completely dedicated to watching porn with your partner and incorporating new moves into your sexual routine.
Try watching different styles of porn to keep things from getting boring.
Have a few toys and some lube handy while watching the sexy flick. You’ll never know what you’ll be inspired to do!
Remember that the best way to do something, such as giving your partner a blowjob or receiving oral sex from him, is not necessarily the way the porn stars do it. Do the things that your partner enjoys and listen to their body language to let you know if you’re getting it right – don’t just assume you’re doing what your partner likes just because the porn stars did it.

Teens And Porn – What Are The Hidden Dangers?

Paul Carlson — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 19:25:30 +0000

Almost all teens watch porn, no matter how hard you try to hide it from them. A simple Google search for “boobs” can pull up a multitude of things, and the Internet makes it incredibly easy to access all kinds of porn. Teens spend more time on the Internet than just about anybody, so naturally they’re exposed. Should you worry about it? What are the hidden dangers of teens watching porn?

Lots of people watch porn, but are there any hidden dangers to watching porn? Especially for teens? Visit our YouTube site and leave a comment – tell us what you think about teens watching porn!

Pornography Changes Your Perceptions

While teens masturbating is completely normal, you may be curious as to whether watching porn is a concern for teens or not. While men, and young boys of course, are visual creatures and may need visual stimulation to complete the masturbation experience, is porn a good way for them to do so? Not necessarily, and not just for teenagers. Many types of pornography give only a brief view of what sex is like, and often caters towards certain fetishes for rough sex, voyeuristic sex and more. Porn is like a snapshot of what sex and relationships are really like, and the “snapshot” is usually blurred, poor quality or grainy. It’s definitely not a good representation of what the real thing is like.

Pornography can skew a person’s perception of what sex is really like and what the human body is really like. This is especially true for teens, who are just beginning to develop their perceptions, however, it is true for anyone. Porn is not an accurate representation of any of these things, and teenagers especially don’t know how to tell the difference between what is represented in pornography and what is true in real life.

The Perception Of The Human Body

The biggest perception that can be skewed by porn is what people are supposed to look like. Teenage boys in particular can grow up watching porn and begin to believe that all women are supposed to look like porn stars and there is something wrong with those who don’t. If you support your teen or even your grown husband or boyfriend using a visual aid to help with masturbation, look for pornography or magazines with more realistic representations of the female body.

Maturity Is A Factor

So should your teenager watch porn? The likely consensus is no – however, maturity plays a factor in whether your teen should have access to pornography or not. It also depends on your religious preferences. Of course, if your religion dictates that pornography is unacceptable in all forms, you should certainly do your best to keep pornography out of your home at all levels. However, if you have a mature teen and access to realistic images and videos, pornography may actually benefit your teen, or even your grown husband or boyfriend. In fact, realistic pornography may even benefit teen girls and grown women as well. Some theories suggest that teens with access to pornography and who are comfortable with masturbation may choose to wait longer to have sex. Ultimately, it’s up to you and your teen, or you and your partner as to whether you allow pornography into your lives and how to keep the dangers of it at a minimum.

3 Mistakes Women Make in Porn Blowjob Videos

Jessica Perez — Fri, 01 May 2009 18:30:25 +0000

Since most women do not like watching hardcore porn videos, are there any lessons or mistakes that they can take a cue from when watching blowjob videos? Although it seems as if the women starring in these porn films are doing everything right, there are a few mistakes here and there which can serve as a lesson for other women.

Basically, your goal should be to blow a man right out of his mind – so you should steer clear of some of these mistakes when giving him head.

Mistake #1: Using Your Teeth

Okay, this one is something that you hardly ever see on blowjob videos – but that’s exactly the point! It’s really quite a major thing if you graze his penis with your teeth. You can either cause him discomfort or downright pain – or the fact that you had your teeth down there will be a major turnoff for him, so things will not really end up as you expect.

Mistake #2: Holding On To His Penis With A Death Grip

You don’t necessarily know how much force those female adult film stars are exerting on their stud partners on screen. So just because their grip looks tight, it doesn’t mean that you should imitate the ‘death grip’ in real life. The shaft of the penis can probably take the extra pressure, but the other more sensitive areas, not much so.

As such, it would help if you will listen to his moans and groans so that you would know exactly how much force to apply. You can also take a cue from the way that he runs his fingers through your head, or the way that he cocks his hips.

What you can do instead is use a combination of your hands and mouth to give him head – and don’t forget to pay close attention to his other manly parts that most women forget. This includes his family jewels and that oh-so-sensitive area on the underside of his shaft.

Mistake #3: Going Down On Him Too Soon

When you see a clip from an adult site, the camera is immediately focusing on a woman giving head to a man. If you don’t want to end things a little too soon, don’t go proceed to the main event just yet.

If women prefer a lot of foreplay just before penetrative sex, men would appreciate it if you will worship other parts of his body first – before zeroing in on his penis.

In Summary

There’s really a great deal of lessons that you can learn when watching a blowjob video. But the first thing that you need to learn are the aforementioned mistakes that you need to steer clear of when giving him head.

Next Steps

Now that you already have an idea about the top mistakes that women make when giving head, the next thing that you should learn about are the steps on how to give him a mind-blowing orgasm.

Real Sex Vs. Porn Sex: Does He Know the Difference?

Holly Page — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 01:19:20 +0000

Have you ever been with a partner that seems to think he is on the set of some porn instead of with a lover in bed? He does one of the telltale signs, like makes love like a jackhammer, changes positions constantly, slams into your cervix, or keeps a lot of distance between your bodies so he can “watch the action?”

What You See Isn’t Always What You Get

Yeah, me too. It seems to be an epidemic that young men who grow up watching porn (cough, all of them), think that what they see is what sex is like. And, yes, perhaps women are guilty of believing in certain kinds of movie sex, maybe those that involve scenes with Brad Pitt or Richard Gere, but those misconceptions never end with semen on someone’s face.

The bad news is that you have a lover who thinks your roommate might walk in and “want to join” or that you’re into double-penetration. The good news is that you can dispel him of that myth and teach him how to have REAL SEX in an enjoyable way.

Yes, I said it. You have to TEACH HIM. Remember that he thinks what he sees in porn is real, when you know it’s about as real as the tits. But it’s not entirely his fault, and it doesn’t make him an otherwise bad person. It just means he’s seriously misinformed.

Teach Him Real Sex vs. Porn Sex

Give him an anatomy lesson. A lot of men aren’t aware of how sensitive vaginas are, or even where they’re sensitive. So give him a lesson on how and where you liked to be touched. If you like gentle rocking intercourse, tell him, and explain that hard and fast sex doesn’t work for you. Be specific, like it’s painful, or de-sensitizing, or annoying. As much as he wants to envision himself as the next Ron Jeremy, he also wants to pleasure you and be a good lover. If you get off from clitoral stimulation, show him how you liked to be touched.

Tell him what turns you on. A little guided sex play never hurt anyone. If you give him feedback on what pleases you, he’ll keep doing it, and get a little dirty talk in the mix. For example, before he gets to the jackhammer sex, hold him still when he enters you. Say, “I love the feeling of you being inside me. Let’s just stay here for a moment.” That gives you a chance to set the pace.

Try Watching Porn With Him

Watch a porn with him. This might sound crazy, but it can work in two ways. Let him pick a porn to watch, then deconstruct it while viewing. Point out things that are arousing for you, and things that are unrealistic or unpleasant. Alternately, you can find porn, sex scenes, or erotic images that you like, and share them. It will give him an idea of what you’re into, and maybe even expose him to other types of porn available.

Give him an erotica tale that turns you on. If you’re not that into visuals, but have gotten hot from the written word, then share a story you like with him, or even write your own. Maybe he won’t start reading Danielle Steele, but he may get some insight into what many women find arousing.

How To Show Him What You Like

Show him by creating the “ideal night.” Plan a romantic evening for the two of you where you set the mood. He’ll be into your initiative, and start to see that you are a sexual being with desires all your own.

Take the lead in bed. Don’t let a guy into porn take the lead in bed unless you want to get slapped with his cock. Be more assertive in order to show him what kind of sex you like. Get on top, or whatever position makes you comfortable and gives you some control, and set the pace. If he starts to get all hard and fast on you again, take a break. Let him know he’s ruining your groove.

Try out these tips and see if he gets a better idea of what you enjoy in bed. If not, you just may have to cancel the internet connection and stock up on romance novels until he gets it right.

My Husband Wants Me To Have Sex With A Donkey

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 13:45:13 +0000

Believe it or not, animal bestiality isn’t uncommon in the world of sexual preferences and pleasures. Fortunately, it’s not as common as the missionary position, but people still engage in animal bestiality to give themselves pleasure. Is animal bestiality okay? What if you’re uncomfortable with it?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My husband wants me to have sex with a donkey and videotape it. I’m incredibly uncomfortable with it, but he says if I don’t, it’s over. What do I do?

–Jeanne, Arkansas

You’re Uncomfortable With It

If you’re uncomfortable with animal bestiality, join the masses. Most people don’t agree with bestiality and many people are extremely uncomfortable with it.

If you’re not comfortable with animal bestiality, that’s perfectly normal – but what if animal bestiality is something you enjoy? Is it okay to indulge your sexual pleasures this way?

Typically, sex is something that is limited to being between two consenting adults that aren’t truly harming each other. Once you step outside this box, you run the risk of really hurting someone or even getting in legal trouble.

An animal cannot give consent to sexual activity with a person in much the same way a child cannot, and engaging in animal bestiality crosses the line as much as child molestation does.

If you find yourself in this situation, don’t be afraid to seek help! There are lots of ways to enjoy sex without hurting other people or animals.

Your Partner Wants You To Do It

If your partner enjoys animal bestiality and you don’t, you might find yourself in an incredibly uncomfortable situation, especially if your partner is pressuring you to have sex with an animal.

Whether it’s an animal, another person or even your partner themselves, you have the right to have sex or not have sex at your discretion.

If animal bestiality makes you uncomfortable, don’t do it! If your partner is pressuring you to do things that you’re not okay with doing, recognize that you’re being manipulated and walk away.

Even if your partner is threatening to leave you or harm you in some way if you don’t do what they ask – whether it be having sex with an animal or doing anything else that makes you uncomfortable – you’d be better off if they did.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help or even let a law enforcement official know about your situation if you truly feel that your safety and well being is being threatened if you don’t do what your partner is asking you to do.

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is that you shouldn’t be pressured by anyone to do anything that you’re not comfortable with doing. That includes animal bestiality and anything else that you’re just not okay with doing.

Don’t let yourself be manipulated into engaging in any sexual act that you don’t want to engage in. On the other side of the coin, if you find yourself in a position where you are enjoying sexual acts that are crossing the line – including animal bestiality – it’s important that you take a step back and realize where that line should be drawn.

Keep sex between two consenting adults and keep it safe – there are many ways to have a fulfilling and satisfying sex life without taking it too far.

Men, Do You Know the 3 Reasons She’s Unhappy With Your Sex Life?

Cynthia Perkins — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 19:01:13 +0000

Many women are not having a sex life that is as satisfying as they would like it to be, because their sexual needs are not being met adequately in their relationship.

There are three main reasons that this occurs that both men and women should be aware of that will enable them to help her find more pleasurable sexual experiences.

1. She doesn’t know what those needs are

Sometimes women don’t really understand their own body and how it works. They don’t know what it is that will arouse them or bring them to orgasm.

They may have been brought up to believe it is shameful to explore their body and find out what is pleasurable for them or they don’t understand the necessity. Since she doesn’t know what her sexual needs are, she can’t communicate them to her lover or take the necessary steps to get them met herself.

She knows something is wrong in her sexual adventures, but can’t put her finger on it.

2. He has learned from the wrong sources.

Don’t believe what you hear in the locker room or the standard porn movies. Most men learn about sex from porn movies or from their buddies who are sharing misinformation they learned in porn movies. Traditional skin flicks do not portray realistic situations between people who care about one another.

First of all these types of adult movies are designed for the pleasure of men, not women. So most everything you’re seeing comes from the man’s point of view and what he fantasizes about, not the woman’s.

Contrary to what they teach, having a big penis and thrusting like an Olympic gold medalist is not going to make your woman squeal with multiple orgasms. It’s not likely to bring her to even one orgasm. Additionally, although a woman may allow her man to indulge once in a while, most women do not get off by having semen squirted all over their face.

If you watch standard porn movies, such as Debbie Does Dallas, you need to be aware that what you are watching is for entertainment purposes only. It is not the way things are in reality.

Not only do they portray inaccurate information for pleasuring a woman, but they also cause men to feel inadequate and wonder what’s wrong with them. You need to keep in mind that men in these movies are selectively chosen and are at the extreme end of the male spectrum.

Most men do not have a penis this size and most men do not have this kind of stamina and that is not what a woman is looking for.

In order to learn what a woman really enjoys sexually and have movies that simulate a realistic couple, you need to pick adult videos that were designed for that purpose. Movies made by someone like Candida Royalle are made specifically to be woman and couple friendly.

Additionally you should pick up videos and books that were made by sex experts for the purpose of education. Unfortunately, in our society, no one ever teaches any of us about sex. Most of us learn by trial and error.

With the help of a few high quality instructional videos and books, couples can dispel many sexual myths that may be preventing them from achieving the sexual satisfaction they desire and develop skills that enable them to meet their needs more effectively and become better lovers. Adult sexual education is a powerful tool for both men and women…

3. Lack of communication

Many couples find it very difficult to communicate with one another about their sexual needs or preferences and this is not only a leading contributor to her sexual needs going unmet, but the quality of the relationship overall.

A lot of women are uncomfortable or embarrassed to talk about their sexual needs. Sometimes they are afraid that their lover may perceive them as loose, easy or unlady like. Our society gives women a double message when it comes to sex, on one hand she’s supposed to be a hot little tiger in the sack, yet on the other hand she’s supposed to be pure and virgin like.

This creates an ideal that is impossible to live up to and creates a lot of inner conflict. Women need to know it’s okay to talk openly about what they need and men need to encourage them to do so with a non-judgmental, open and accepting attitude.

Sometimes the problem is that she doesn’t know how to express her needs to her lover. Both partners need to speak openly, directly and honestly.

Couples should be specific and detailed about things like where and how they need touched, how much pressure and speed is needed with each technique and what is the best timing. Share freely information about what techniques and positions are most pleasurable for you.

When something isn’t working or he is not meeting her needs, then she needs to speak up and let her lover know. Don’t suffer in silence.

If saying the words out loud is too uncomfortable, then guide him with your hands. Put his hands, mouth or hips where you need them to be and illustrate. Better yet, show him with your own hands. He’ll not only learn how to satisfy you better, but he’ll also be extremely turned on.

Men, you need to ask your woman what she needs. Don’t assume that everything is okay even if she doesn’t say anything.

Ask her what feels good, check in with her when you’re performing a technique and make sure it’s pleasurable. Ask her specific questions like, does that feel good, do you like to be touched here, is that too soft or too hard, how does that feel.

There is not a one size fits all sexual technique for women. Each woman is unique and what is pleasurable for one woman may not be the case for another woman. Get to know your woman.

Sometimes I hear that women try and tell their lover that they are not as satisfied as they would like to be sexually, but he doesn’t really hear them or they are met with resistance or indifference. He sometimes gets angry, doesn’t take her seriously or dismisses it as not important. He feels threatened or inadequate and becomes defensive.

When this happens, then she shuts down and stops trying, eventually she grows resentful and your whole relationships suffers. If your woman tries to communicate her sexual needs to you, it is not a criticism of you, your manhood or your sexual skill. Don’t take it personally.

She’s trying to teach you about her body and sharing herself with you on the deepest level possible. She’s opening herself up to you and allowing herself to be vulnerable in the most ultimate sense. It is an honor that should be cherished. Take it as an opportunity to grow closer to your woman, enhance your relationship, learn and become a better lover.

Is It Wrong to be Jealous Of My Partner Watching Porn?

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 13:47:33 +0000

When a man watches porn, it is normal to feel jealous or insecure. This is actually a common issue among many women. It’s hard for a woman to get over the fact that her man is looking and perhaps thinking of another woman. It is hard for a woman to accept a man watching porn because traditionally, women are more emotional than visual.

Men prefer visual pornography while women find romance novels appealing, because it sets up a journey of love with rising passion and suspense. In short, a romance novel feeds that emotional desire that women have. Men prefer pornography because it satisfies their need for visual stimulation.

Unfortunately, it’s difficult for a woman to understand a man’s perspective and that leads to jealousy and insecure feelings when it comes to pornography.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Do you have any advice on how to get over my jealousy? When I see my bf watching porn, I hate it! I figure it’s cheating ‘cause you’re imagining doing the other person. It’s so frustrating!

–(YouTube)

Why men like porn

Men are action oriented, that is, they like to see what is happening. Men enjoy seeing nudity and sexual acts visually, and that’s perfectly natural for them. It’s how they’re built. It is nothing more than a man’s fantasy and in isn’t quite the same as cheating.

If he were sleeping with the woman he was watching then it would be, but just for a man to envision a woman long enough to get his jollies isn’t the same. He isn’t thinking about running off with the woman that he’s watching, or thinking about how much better they are than the woman they’re actually with. It is just a momentary fantasy and it’s his way of releasing tension and relaxing. It doesn’t mean he is cheating because in the end he’s with you and he chose to be with you.

Getting over the jealousy of a man watching porn is as simple or as complex you want to make it. The best thing is to just try and accept that men are visual creatures and watching porn is natural to them. It’s not that he doesn’t love you, it’s just that it’s natural for him to want to see sexual acts and nudity visually because it helps to satisfy him.

It’s perfectly natural

Many times, a man will use porn to satisfy his immediate sexual desires when you are not around or when you’re asleep. This is perfectly normal and shouldn’t be considered cheating. If your partner chooses to use porn frequently to the point where your sex life as a couple is diminishing, it might be time to get some help from an unbiased counselor or sex therapist.

If your partner uses porn as a means to satisfy his sexual desires but your sex life is still healthy and strong, don’t worry about it! Relax and let it go. It can be difficult to do, but it’s possible and will help keep your relationship healthy and strong as well.

If your partner watches porn, it’s not considered cheating. It’s perfectly normal and natural, as it is for a woman to fantasize emotionally using romance novels or her own imagination. If your partner’s porn habits are bothering you, talk to him open and honestly about why it bothers you and what you both can do to reach a compromise.

You certainly can’t give him an ultimatum. That will only serve to anger him and cause him to watch porn without telling you. Perhaps you can watch porn together or find other ways to satisfy each other sexually while using porn. Work together to find a compromise that satisfies both you and your partner.

Self Pleasure – Enjoying Erotica on Your Own…

Alicia Night Orchid — Tue, 22 Jul 2008 14:35:57 +0000

Janie, a bachelorette, travels constantly on business. After a long day of intense sales calls, she retires to her room where she eats alone, checks e-mail, and prepares for the next day’s work.

By the end of the evening, she’s too edgy to sleep and a little lonely. She could saunter down to the lobby bar, but the thought of picking up a stranger has little appeal in today’s world of dangerous STDs.

She could call one of the men she dates from time to time, but doesn’t want to come across as needy. She could watch a pay-for-view movie ADULT movie, but doesn’t want to explain that charge to her employer.

Faced with those alternatives, she often ends the day snuggled up in bed with her laptop. She reads an erotic e-book by a favorite author. With one hand on the keyboard and the other under the covers, she gives herself some well-deserved “personal time.”

Afterwards, she sleeps like a baby.

Nathan and Bri have a great sex life, and Nathan’s as crazy in love with his wife as the day they married three years ago. Even so, he has fantasies of a threesome involving Bri, him, and another woman. In his favorite fantasy, Bri and the other woman begin kissing while he watches.

One thing leads to another and soon the women are naked on the floor, making love. After they’ve driven each other over the edge, the two women turn their attention to him.

So far, Nathan has refrained from sharing his fantasy with Bri, because he knows she’s strictly a one-man woman.

But once a week, when she’s out with her friends, he indulges himself with a box of Kleenex, a favorite lubricant, and a visit to a website featuring erotic stories about threesomes. He prefers the slow build-up and exotic settings offered by the stories to video porn’s bright lights, close-up shots, and predictability.

In the back of his mind, he harbors the hope that Bri will some day turn his fantasy into reality.

Katie and Patrick have been together for four years. They’re in a committed relationship, but Katie has come to realize that she needs more sex than Patrick.

He’s pre-occupied with starting a new business and happy with their twice a week routine. For her part, she’d prefer a trip down the “O” highway every day.

She’s not opposed to a furtive moment alone in the shower or a solitary fling on the day bed before Patrick returns home from work. But what works best for Katie is curling up in front of the fire or in the chaise lounge with a steamy period romance and a favorite vibrator.

She secretly hopes Patrick will find her books and want to see what she does with that vibrator while she reads.

Doing it by the Book

Masturbation, wanking, play time.

Call it what you like, it’s something we all do. In fact, Kinsey Institute research shows that 90 percent of all men over the age of 18 “toss one off” on a regular basis, while 65 percent of all women “rub one out” now and then.

The percentages are lower for married couples, but a Playboy survey found that 72 percent of married men masturbate, while a Redbook survey revealed that 68 percent of married women join in the fun.

Yet, when confronted with these percentages, many people are embarrassed to admit that they aren’t much different from everyone else when it comes to self pleasure.

Furthermore, even if we confess to an occasional personal dalliance, we’re likely to characterize it as a “moment of weakness.” In the words of the old “Seinfeld” episode, we take pride in being “masters of our own domain.”

But the truth is that “humming to our own music” is a more purposeful activity than we may like to own up to. Drawings of men and women engaged in sex are among the earliest and most prevalent art to adorn the walls of caves.

The first writings on sex can be traced to ancient Chinese and Indian cultures, and the public areas of Greek and Roman cities often contained art work depicting copulation, oral sex, and self pleasure.

It’s a good bet that our ancestors were using that art work and those writings to enhance not only their sex lives with partners, but also their solo sex. And based on the current market demand for erotica and porn, it’s likely that many of us today rely on sexy stories, photos, and videos to make our private time more enjoyable.

In fact, if the e-mail and blog comments I receive are any indication, I’m pretty sure that most readers of my stories and books are of the one-handed variety.

Bottom line

Most researchers and therapists view masturbation as a common and natural activity. If we’re going to do it, why not enjoy it to the fullest? If a hot story or a sexy book produces warm and fuzzies down below or indulges a particular fantasy, why not go with it?

Masturbation doesn’t need to be shameful or guilt-ridden, it can be a celebration of our singular sexuality, purposefully undertaken and augmented with erotica we love.

Doing it Without My Partner

A question that often arises is whether it’s harmful to a relationship when one or both partners masturbate in isolation to “dirty stories.” The concern is that solo masturbation, with or without the aid of erotica, is a form of “cheating,” and we all know how damaging that can be to a relationship.

But most researchers agree that couples should not be troubled by masturbation in a relationship so long as (1) it doesn’t take the place of sex between partners; and (2) neither partner’s self esteem is lowered by the other partner’s self enjoyment.

Remember Janie, Nathan, and Katie from the beginning of this article? Janie played with herself to the accompaniment of the bookmarked sections of her favorite e-book, when she was on the road and away from boyfriends.

Nathan indulged a fantasy his wife had little interest in, but it didn’t lessen his attraction to his wife. And Katie used erotica and masturbation to supplement her sex life with her husband.

It’s hard to see how anyone’s relationship was damaged.

Bottom Line: Open communication with your spouse or partner is always the best route. Talk about your sexual desires and fantasies. Come to an understanding about what both of you need, keeping in mind that sex is a mystery and that each person’s desires are valid and unique.

I Like Watching Porn… What’s The Big Deal?

Paul Carlson — Sun, 13 Jul 2008 13:52:47 +0000

Pornography has been around for hundreds and possibly even thousands of years.

There are different levels of pornography, from the mild romance novel to the hardcore BDSM movie.

Pornography also spans across different cultures, and some cultures are more accepting than others.

Many people may ask whether watching porn is wrong or if it shouldn’t be done, but the answer isn’t a clean cut “yes” or “no.”

Is it wrong to watch pornography?

What’s Wrong To You Isn’t Wrong To Me

Every culture, every country and every person has different views and beliefs about what is wrong and what isn’t. Therefore, when trying to determine whether watching pornography is “wrong” or not, you can’t simply abide by one set of beliefs because there is likely ten thousand other sets of beliefs who believe differently.

For example, there are some sects of strict Baptists and other religions who believe that dancing is downright wrong, while many other religions and cultures feel that dancing is just fine and still others that embrace it. Some people consider pornography to be “dirty” and therefore they feel that watching it is “wrong” but others find it completely acceptable.

How does watching pornography make you feel? How does that coincide with your religious and moral beliefs? Are you comfortable with mild, soft core pornography but not the more hardcore style films?

Really analyze and think about how you yourself feel about pornography, and decide what is right for you. Then, try your best not to impose your beliefs on someone else because realistically, they probably have an altogether different set of morals and beliefs.

My Partner Is Addicted To Porn

Perhaps you don’t approve of pornography, or it just doesn’t do anything for you. Your partner, however, might really like watching pornography and does so regularly. You might feel your partner is addicted to porn, when in reality they’re probably not.

How can you tell if it goes too far? If your sex life is becoming dull or non-existent in favor of pornography, you might have a problem on your hands. Does your partner miss work to watch porn, or skip family meals to do so?

If your partner seems to be watching pornography more than he or she is doing anything else, you might want to seek counseling. If they’re just watching it say on a Saturday night when you’ve gone up to bed early, there’s really nothing wrong with it.

If it truly bothers you, try being open and honest with your partner about how it affects you. Together you and your partner can find a compromise. If you or your partner refuses to budge about the situation, think long and hard about what steps you want to take next. You can’t change someone, you can only change how you react to what they do.

That said, if you find watching pornography uncomfortable or it just doesn’t do anything for you, join the thousands of other people who feel the same way you do. Just remember, not everyone feels the way you do, even if you feel that watching pornography is perfectly normal.

Don’t force your beliefs on anyone else and if you’re with someone who feels a different way about pornography than you do, take time to talk it out with them and reach a middle ground. Relax a little and go with the flow – everybody’s different!

Help! My Husband Is Forcing Me To Make A Porn Video!

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 06 Jul 2008 14:09:27 +0000

You’re with someone you love, but your relationship seems to be going in a downward spiral.

You’re not alone! There’s fighting, arguing and even ultimatums involved.

How do you know if you’re being manipulated? Abuse isn’t limited to just physical abuse. Both men and women are verbally and even sexually abused and manipulated often in relationships.

How do you know when to draw the line?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Your article on Husbands addicted to porn, my husband falls in that slot, but he wants me to sleep with other men while he video tapes it. We’ve been married for 11 yrs. I did it three times for him, and now I told him I can’t, its wrong, and told him he needs help, he says he doesn’t. If he doesn’t get his way he tells me he will leave me, and makes my life a living hell, with the fighting.

He says if I love him I will do this one more time. He also wants me to do a website, and he wants to sell these videos.

My friend thinks I should leave. I have three kids, and I don’t want to fail them. Any ideas on how I should deal with this?

- Gloria, Illinois

Verbal Manipulation

One of the telltale signs of manipulation is when the manipulator uses words, phrases or ultimatums to get his or her way. Threats, even if they’re empty, are also a sign that someone is manipulating you. How can you tell if you’re being manipulated?

Your partner starts a huge fight if he or she doesn’t get his way
Your partner threatens you if you don’t do what they want
Your partner tries to persuade you to do something they want – this type of persuasion often starts out nice but ends with belittlement and anger when the persuasion doesn’t work right away
Your partner is overall controlling

Verbal manipulation is sometimes the hardest to distinguish because the manipulator is often so good at talking their way into getting what they want that you barely recognize it.

Sometimes, however, it’s painfully obvious that your partner is often controlling and starts fights and arguments when they don’t get their way. They may even belittle you or give you ultimatums to get what they want.

Drawing The Line

Being in a manipulative relationship is classified as abuse, regardless of whether you come out bruised and beaten or not. Often, coming out of a manipulative relationship leaves your psyche pretty banged up, so it’s all the same. Many people stay in these types of relationships because they’re afraid they might not be able to care for their children alone, or because they think it might get better.

Even worse is when the manipulator promises they’ll change and does a very good job making you believe that’s true. Staying in a relationship like that is not healthy, but it’s ultimately up to you whether you decide to stay or leave. Where do you draw the line though?

Anything that your partner forces you to do or manipulates you into doing that makes you uncomfortable is definite grounds for terminating the relationship. You should never, ever have to do anything that you feel is wrong or makes you uncomfortable in any way, shape or form. First, let your partner know they’re making you uncomfortable or that you feel what they’re asking you to do is wrong. Judge their response.

If they’re a manipulator, they’re likely not going to respect what you have to say. They’ll instead use any means they can to get you to do what they want. You deserve to be respected! You should never have to do anything that you don’t want to do, or that makes you feel uneasy. If your partner doesn’t respect this, it’s probably time to move on.

Moving on from abusive or manipulating relationships can be difficult and sometimes it can seem downright impossible. You’re not stuck in an unhappy relationship though, as long as you don’t want to be! See a counselor or therapist to talk about your relationship. They can help bring light to your situation and can give you resources that will help you to move on from an abusive, manipulating relationship.

How to Enjoy Erotica with Your Partner

Alicia Night Orchid — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 13:58:54 +0000

Lauren and Will have been together for three years. She works at a law firm where she’s caught her male co-workers checking out her long legs and firm buttocks on more than one occasion.

Will is a commodities trader. He often leaves for the office early and returns home late. He’s known for his boyish good looks and twinkling blue eyes.

When they first started dating, Will was the one who initiated sex, the one who encouraged Lauren to try new positions and do things she never imagined good girls did. She enjoyed it more than she expected.

After they married, sex remained a centerpiece of their relationship, with Saturdays often devoted to exploring and satisfying each other’s urges and desires.

But in the last few months, their lovemaking has acquired a sameness. They’ve fallen into a pattern of straight missionary sex on the one or two nights a week that Will doesn’t fall asleep in front of the TV.

Lauren finds their couplings less than satisfactory. And she’s worried, because now when the guys at the office look, she’s tempted to look back. She’s caught herself fantasizing about that hunky fellow who exercises on his deck across the way. And the other night, she woke up from a dream about her high school boy friend, damp and flushed and too worked up to go back to sleep.

She’d like to talk to Will, but isn’t sure where to begin. She’d like inject a little spice into what’s become “same old, same old,” but is afraid of rejection. Why, the other night when she wore a new black thong to bed, Will didn’t even notice.

Maybe it’s time for a little erotica in this couple’s life.

Erotica: What’s That?

Lauren’s never been turned on by porn videos. Like a lot of women, she’s more threatened than aroused by the carved bodies, pretty faces, and practiced capabilities of the porno queens. So, popping a porn video in the CD player and snuggling up on the couch with Will probably isn’t the best solution.

On the other hand, Lauren remembers how much she enjoyed reading about sex when she was younger. She remembers being stimulated by descriptions of sex between characters she cared about in the context of stories in which she was engaged.

While it’s an overgeneralization, the distinction being drawn is between “porn,” especially video porn, and “erotica,” especially writings about sex. Researchers know that while men are easily stimulated by images of sex, women prefer reading about the down and dirty. The best news is that while men respond more quickly to visual images, they also respond to written erotica.

Especially, when it’s shared with a partner.

Finding What You Like

In an earlier article I explored how and where to find quality erotica. It’s available both online and in print. The first step to enjoying erotica with your partner is to find the flavor you like best among all the many offerings.

Because sexual tastes often differ and can be quite specific, erotica is often organized by flavor or “sub- genre.” Here are some of the most common and what they mean:

Romance (Romantica)—This is sexually explicit writing involving a romantic relationship, where the guy gets the girl (or vice versa). While some of the writing remains pulpy, much of it has evolved to include threesomes, gays, and lesbians loving it up in all manner of exciting settings and situations.

BDSM—This includes stories of bondage, discipline, submission, and humiliation. Ever thought about being tied up and blindfolded, ever wondered what it would be like to be someone’s sex slave, ever wanted to call all the shots? Here’s your chance to check it out. Bring collars, whips, and cock rings to the reading, if you’re really adventurous.

Sci-Fi and Fantasy—These are stories set in places far away and a long time ago. They often involving couplings between humans and non-humans. You can also find your share of horny elves, sex-starved vampires, and craven witches.

Fetishes—Fetishes involve sexual attraction to objects or situations that aren’t normally associated with sex. Remember that guy in college who loved your feet, maybe that was a foot fetish. Like the idea of watching or being watched? Ever get caught sniffing your partner’s lingerie? Ever fantasized about having sex while dressed in latex? You probably get the picture.

Erotic Couplings—This is by far the most common sub-genre and encompasses everything a couple can do to together on this planet without chains and whips, without getting too kinky, and without necessarily falling in love. It’s hot sex with an office co-worker, the pizza boy, a professor, or even a spouse. Maybe it’s sex on a train, at a resort, or on the patio. It’s probably not that far removed from what you’re already doing—only better.

Literary Erotica—Think Hemingway on Viagra. This is erotica that engages not only your nether regions, but also your mind. It’s so well-written, your sophomore English teacher would be proud, complete with beautifully crafted sentences, quirky and alluring characters, and a strong, believable plot line. And hot, really hot sex, made all the better, because the writing is so good.

The type of erotica you and your partner choose to share probably depends on your goal. If, like Lauren, you’re simply looking to add a little zing to a sex life that’s grown a little weary, a story about a couple caught in a snow storm might be just the ticket. If you and your lover want to explore a toy fetish, a BDSM experience, or sex in the 27^th century on the Planet Xeno with reptilian creatures that go both ways, you’ll want venture into other sub-genres.

Sharing the Moment

The best way to enjoy erotica together is to snuggle up in bed, on a sofa, or at the beach, and take turns reading. Maybe you light a candle, change into those silk boxers she bought you for Valentine’s Day, or enjoy a glass of wine together. For many couples the mere act of speaking sexy, forbidden words aloud can be highly arousing. Just hearing a partner describe a hot orgy or oral sex in the back of a packed theatre can cause temperatures to rise.

If you’re the reader, unleash your inner Academy Award winner. If you’re the listener, close your eyes, allow yourself to sink into your partner’s voice. And, remember, you can always put the book or story down and let nature take its course. The words will be there for reading later on.

Also, keep in mind that you don’t have to do everything you read about to have a great experience. It may be exciting to read about participating in an orgy, but you can still have plain-old vanilla, one-on-one sex, after the reading is done. On the other hand, that story about oral sex may be just what it takes to encourage him to go down on you.

If you can’t enjoy erotica in person, enjoy it a distance. One couple I know travels on business incessantly. She’s often in Los Angeles, while he’s in Newark. They like to unwind after a busy day by reading to one another across the phone lines.

A male acquaintance often e-mails snippets of stories or links to stories to his girl friend’s cell phone. It makes for great reading on the train ride home for her and a warm reception once she arrives for him.

A less technologically savvy friend slips sexy story anthologies or novels into her husband’s briefcase as he heads off to work. Now he’s reading thrillers during his lunch hour that end up giving both partners a thrill.

In the end, how you choose to share erotica is up to you. The possibilities are endless. The point is that it’s a great way to kick start a new sexual adventure or fan the flames of dying embers.

It’s Me Or The Porn! You Choose…

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 13:49:41 +0000

Men watch porn. It’s a fact of life.

Nevertheless, many women who are girlfriends and wives of men watching porn can feel hurt or neglected. She may even ask the man to stop watching porn… or else.

If you find yourself in this situation, you’re not alone. But what do you do?

Do you let him do it and continue to feel hurt, or do you make him stop or leave him?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I watched your video ‘husband uses porn’ and it rang a bell with my situation. My husband has used porn for years and despite having attended counseling and asking him to stop he continues, however, he insisted he’d stopped. I recently went to bed for an afternoon nap and came downstairs to find him using porn (while I was in the house!!). I walked out. After lots of talking we have decided to patched things up but I feel so hurt and angry at him, I am really concerned that if I trust him again he will just continue lying to me. I need him to stop and give our relationship and me the attention it needs. I need to know I can’t trust him not to lie to me again. I just don’t know how to move on.

- Helen, England UK

Accept That Men Are Visual Creatures

The first step to dealing with a pornography issue is to realize that men are visual creatures. They often need visual stimulation to become aroused. Porn offers the perfect solution to the problem.

The only problem is, many women disapprove of porn or feel it unnecessary. It’s okay to feel hurt and neglected if you’re the wife or girlfriend of a regular porn watching guy. But you should know that your regular porn watching guy is just a regular guy! All guys watch porn.

Accept your feelings and talk to your partner so he can accept your feelings as well, but you need to know that his pension for pornography does not make him a bad person, nor is he wrong for wanting to watch it.

Pinpoint the Issue

Does your partner watch pornography when you’re away and he’s not able to have sex with you? Possibly while you’re asleep or away on business? Or does your partner watch pornography all the time, while refusing to have sex with you?

This is your key to discovering a problem, if there is one. If you and your partner have a healthy sex life and he just happens to watch porn in addition to his sex with you, that’s perfectly fine! If you find that your partner would rather watch porn than sleep with you, you may have a bigger issue on your hands that could use the expert advice of a sex therapist.

Men Lie If They Don’t Feel Safe

If you’ve asked your partner to stop watching pornography before, and he says he has but you’ve caught him later doing exactly what you asked him not to do, you’re probably feeling angry and frustrated that he lied to you. Men – and anyone really – lie because they don’t feel safe telling the truth. He may be worried that you’ll jump his case or become really angry with him if he tells you he’s continued to watch porn.

If you want your man to be honest with you, you’ve got to create an environment in which he feels safe to do so. If he tells you the truth, accept it openly, even if it’s something you disapprove of.

Find a Balance

You and your partner can work together to find a balance between watching porn and not. Accept that there will be porn, and adjust your feelings about it. That doesn’t mean that you have to completely give up how you feel though. You can ask that he reserve it for when you’re not at home, or that perhaps you have a few nights that you watch it together.

Talk openly and honestly with your partner, and you can begin to find a place where you’re both happy. Don’t be afraid to seek counseling if you need it, from an unbiased third party such as a sex therapist.

The Best Places to Find Erotica

Alicia Night Orchid — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 14:56:27 +0000

Sex researchers have known for sometime that while men prefer to seek sexual stimulation from images, women favor reading about love, romance, and sex.

Men are willing to settle for scenes of disembodied sex organs colliding together under bright lights, while women are more likely to enjoy and be stimulated by descriptions of sex between characters they care about in the context of stories in which they’re engaged.

The term “erotica” is often used to refer to these softer images of, and especially writings about sex.

Many women enjoy erotica on their own, which is good news in and of itself. Even better news is that couples can enjoy erotica together as a prelude to sex or as a way to explore sexual activities, fetishes, and lifestyles they’re not ready for in real life.

Where Do I Find It?

Sex stories and novels are easy to find. More challenging is finding quality erotica. By this, I mean erotica that is well-written, with interesting characters, fascinating plots, exotic settings, and really hot sex.

Here’s a guide to finding the really good stuff.

Print Anthologies

Every year, several wonderful print anthologies featuring erotica are published. The most popular of these are “The Best of the Best American Erotica” edited by Susi Bright and “Dirty Girls: Erotica by Women” edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel. If you’re worried about buying these books in a public bookstore, all it takes is a credit card to purchase them confidentially and without embarrassment online.

I recommend these anthologies as a good place for couples to begin. They tend to include a sampling of various types of stories including literary, humorous, romantic, and really dirty erotica. You can read various styles and authors to see what really turns you on.

E-Books

Another highly popular source of erotica is e-books. E-books are electronic books, which range from story to novel length. They can be purchased online, typically for a fraction of the cost of print books, downloaded and read on your computer or e-book reader. While taking a laptop to bed with you might have much appeal, some e-book readers are no bigger than a cell phone. You can even acquire “read-aloud” software, so that the words are spoken in a voice you select, allowing for hands and mouth-free enjoyment, should that be of interest to you.

There are several sources of e-books. Ellora’s Cave is one of the more successful e-publishers and sells its books, organized by author and genre, directly from its website. Fictionwise is a virtual warehouse of e-books. You can find erotica titles simply by searching under the key word “erotica.” Lulu is another virtual warehouse offering self-published print and electronic media. Because the work is self published, authors aren’t required to meet anyone’s standards but their own, so quality of packaging and content is a concern. Again, a search under “erotica,” or a particular author’s name, will provide you with a wide variety of choices.

Free Erotica

If you want to experiment with free erotica, before laying out the cash for a purchase, there are plenty of options on the Internet. The most popular site is probably Literotica. This site offers both readers and writers of erotic stories and audios the opportunity to share their work and enjoy that of others amateur authors. The upside is the huge number of stories to choose from and a rating system that allows you to choose from the most popular stories in each sub-genre. The downside is the inconsistency of quality—it ranges from poorly-written anecdotes of the writer’s personal sexual experiences, to really excellent and well-written stories that should have made the print anthologies.

Clean Sheets and the Erotica Readers and Writers’ Association are other free websites. Unlike Literotica, where anyone can post stories, the stories appearing on these websites are selected by editors on their merits. New stories appear monthly, plus both sites maintain archives of previously published work. Another personally favorite site for free stories is Desdmona’s Erotic Stories Contests. Desdmona, the publisher of a highly-regarded “pay-for-erotica” site, Ruthie’s Club, sponsors contests once a year. The contests attract some of the best erotica authors working today.

Once you’ve looked around a bit, chances are you’ll find one or more authors you really like. Many erotica authors including myself maintain websites and publish erotic stories, blogs, and/or essays about sex on their personal sites. You’ll discover that your favorite authors also have their own favorites and provide links to these other authors.

There is plenty of really good sex writing out there. Why settle for anything less than the best?

Porn vs. Erotica: What Women Really Want

Alicia Night Orchid — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 14:00:48 +0000

This story is intended for mature audiences only.

Ever wonder why most women hate porn? Then you’ll want to keep reading.

Michael and Chloe go to dinner. The food is sex on a plate—rubbed and grilled, sauced and drizzled, earthy and sea-scented. The wine is warming, causing her face to glow, his ears to buzz.

Afterwards they hit that new club uptown and listen to some great live music. They dance the salsa, swirling and humping, pelvises pressed together in a slow grind. In the car they snuggle close. Fingers entwine, tongues swirl. Hands play on thighs and breasts. Fabrics strain.

By the time they reach home, he’s tenting his trousers. She’s damp and giddy. He struggles to get the key in the door. She presses her hard nipples into his back and fumbles with his belt buckle. She’s ready to be swept off to the bedroom, entered and ravished. He reads the signals differently, thinking this might be the night to try something new.

While she’s in the toilet, he flips on the TV, slips in a CD (“Horny Teenage Tailgunners”), and cues it up. She hears it before she sees it. “Yeah, yeah, give it to me, give it to me.” He pats the sofa next to him. On screen, under bright lights, a heavy-chested tanned man with a penis the size of a baseball bat plunges into a woman from behind. She’s as blonde as California, sports size DD breasts, rock hard abs, and an ass and legs to die for.

Michael’s flushed and horny. Chloe’s threatened, wondering why he’d want this woman instead of her, wondering why he couldn’t just ask for anal sex, if that’s what he really wanted.

Hands on her hips, she admits she was pretty turned on by the first two paragraphs of this article, but finds the porn video more repulsive than sexy. She spins on her heel and heads to the bedroom, locking the door behind her and vowing to herself to dye her hair, get a boob job, and lose ten pounds. He’s left alone with a raging erection, wondering why she’s so uncool.

Images versus Writing

This vignette highlights a basic difference in men and women that both sexes can benefit from understanding.

Sex researchers have known for sometime that while men prefer to seek sexual stimulation from images, women favor reading about love, romance, and sex.

While men are likely to be turned on by the sight of strange couples and threesomes cavorting on staged sets, many women feel threatened by the carved bodies, pretty faces, and the practiced capabilities of the porno queens.

While men are willing to settle for scenes of disembodied sex organs colliding together under bright lights, women are more likely to enjoy and be aroused by depictions of sex between characters they care about in the context of stories in which they’re engaged.

Marketers have long taken advantage of these differences. They realize that men buy and consume most of the porn on the Internet and on video and target their offerings to males. Publishers of sexually explicit stories and novels, on the other hand, target female readers. The most successful and widely read stories and novels are those involving strong female protagonists engaged in romantic relationships. The sex takes place in the context of those relationships.

Porn versus Erotica

Some explain the differences in men and women’s tastes by saying that men prefer “porn,” while women prefer “erotica.”

In this sense, “porn” means hard core images of professional and attractive models performing stylized sex for pay—think “facial,” “double-penetration,” “deep throating,” “fisting,” and “money shot.” It’s these conventions and stylized images that many women find threatening and demeaning rather than stimulating.

By contrast, “erotica” refers to softer images of, and especially writings about, sex. The characters may be model-attractive, but are just as likely to look like ordinary people. Erotica may be explicit in its depiction or description of sex, but is just as likely to involve the more mundane sex almost of us are lucky to enjoy once or twice a week.

Erotica, in its written form, ranges from raunchy Penthouse Forum anecdotes of frat house sex to literary erotica complete with beautifully crafted sentences, fascinating characters, and zingy plots.

What it Means for Couples

First, women who aren’t turned on by a porn video shouldn’t feel inadequate. They should have the confidence to share their feelings with their partners. Men should respect what their female partners tell them and understand that it’s probably not personal.

Second, men looking to stimulate their female partners or encourage them to try something different should recognize that they’ll probably have better luck with an erotic story than a porn video. And while it’s no secret that men get turned on by sexually explicit images, they’ll also find themselves just as excited by stories and novels about sex. It just takes a little longer.

Finally, women curious about sexual activities, positions, fetishes, or life styles they might not be ready to explore in real life may find it easier to read about such things than watch a pornographic video clip. Women seeking sexual stimulation on their own will likely respond more favorably to a hot story or novel than a gaudy and bawdy porno film.

Bottom line: Couples should discuss what works best for them, keeping in mind a basic difference between men and women. Words work best for women, while images are preferred by men.

How Much Porn Is Too Much And How Do I Know if I’m Addicted?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 08 Apr 2008 16:03:58 +0000

Contrary to popular belief, pornography is actually watched by many people – both men, women and couples.

Watching pornography isn’t something to be ashamed of or embarrassed about because it’s more than likely that the person sitting right next to you watches it to.

That said, is it possible that someone can watch too much pornography or become addicted to it?

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

Hi, I’ve just watched the video about a woman being addicted to pornography and it made me think.

I think it’s fair to say I’m addicted to pornography … But the twist is that it can’t be because I’m lazy and I don’t even have a sex life. I don’t have a relationship, and I’m not interested in getting one anytime soon. Is watching porn every other night or so bad?

- Kevin, California

How much porn is too much?

Generally, even watching pornography as often as every other night and in some cases every night isn’t considered “too much.” That depends, though. How much is too much? There are no set “rules” for how often someone has to watch pornography for it to become “unhealthy” or “too much.” It varies from person to person. For example, someone who watches pornography every couple of nights but who has always done this and still maintains healthy, loving and sexual relationships in their life has not taken the habit to an unhealthy level.

On the other hand, if someone who rarely watches pornography begins watching every night or every other night and is lacking meaningful, intimate relationships may have an issue that needs to be dealt with. There is no one way to tell if someone is watching too much pornography – it’s something you have to judge for yourself.

Can pornography be addicting? Sure – everything can be addicting, especially for someone who has an addictive personality. That, however, doesn’t mean that if you watch porn often that you are automatically addicted to it. You have to truly think about whether it’s an actual addiction or not.

Do you think about pornography all the time, even when you’re not watching it? Do you find that you’re irritable or act differently if you don’t watch it? Do you reschedule appointments, skip family time or stay at home while your friends are out just so you can watch porn? If you’re answering “yes” to any of these questions, you might be addicted to it. If not, then you most likely have nothing to worry about.

If you find that you’d rather watch pornography than have an actual, meaningful and sexual relationship, that’s something you need to really take a look at. It wouldn’t be the first time someone has used pornography in an attempt to avoid being hurt in a relationship or being taken advantage of. Let’s face it – watching pornography is a lot faster, takes less effort and ends when you want it to.

Theoretically, it’s the greatest relationship ever. In reality, if you’re substituting porn for an actual relationship, you end up missing out. Do you have deep seated issues that keep you from dating or beginning relationships? If there are psychological reasons that keep you from having relationships, such as childhood abuse or self confidence issues, the best way to work those out is with a therapist.

All in all, the majority of people who watch pornography – even if it’s nightly or every other night – aren’t addicted to it nor do they watch it “too often.” Does someone who never watches pornography watch it “too little?” That’s unlikely – so it differs from person to person. If you’re comfortable watching porn, your relationships aren’t suffering and you’re not showing classic signs of a serious addiction or deeper issues . . . well, sit back, relax and enjoy!

Is There A Place For Pornography In ANY Relationship?

Christ Pro Erotic — Sun, 23 Mar 2008 13:48:45 +0000

It is one of the most thankless jobs in the world. Men and women sprawling on makeshift movie sets–indoors or outdoors, rain or shine–to bring the public what they want to see: Sex and nakedness on their local tube or computer screen.

Porn is a booming business

From posing naked bodies to oral sex to intercourse to orgasm the adult movie business, and industry is available to people around the world 24/7.

Be it in the privacy of a motel room, bedroom of a family, on a computer laptop, bought at an adult bookstore or shop, etc. the billion dollar business is enjoying its best business ever.

Do you admit to your partner that you watch porn?

Take the controversial poll at the end of this article to see where you fit in!

Objections to porn

Whatever you do, though, do not tell the feminists, government, or the church set. In a rare show of agreement, these three groups find many things offensive because of one reason or another.

Feminists feel women are objects and are devalued in power and purpose; in the past few years, the U.S. government is ever trying to make more regulation on the books making it harder for consenting adults; the church and moralist find tons wrong over issues ranging from the glorification of premarital sex to the promotion of gay / lesbian / bisexual / transgender “lifestyles”.

Each group has validated their points regarding the ills of pornography (according to their belief systems). I believe instead of taking the battle against the things most consenting adults enjoys we can focus the battle against issues 90% of adults can agree on (i.e. child pornography, child abuse, etc). Plus, I wish these groups would press the issue regarding the performers and their health (i.e. mandatory testing by studios of all performers).

Is porn getting a bad rap?

Now the first question we need to ask is if pornography is getting a bad rap or not? My answer for this one is yes! Many definitions can be made for pornography, but one I would like to use and stick with is this one:

Pornography: The art that captures the fantasies, desires, and dreams of the populace’s sexual lives. Its function is to stimulate, educate, and entice the viewer to visual ideas towards sexuality.

Can it be improved?

Instead of bashing the genre I think the genre needs improvement in how it presents the canvas. But how can this be done?

I will not lie to you that, trying to get a grasp this subject or a substantial majority of people saying they agree porn is not a problem is a stretch especially in religious circles. Even the members of Christ Pro Erotic are not totally sold on porn and if believers in Jesus can even view it. But a few things I’ve found regarding adult material and how we view it can be helpful and beneficial on both sides.

If viewing or purchasing pornography takes more of a priority than your family, finances, spouse/partner then you need to seek help or talk it over with you’re your mate. This kind of indulgence is harmful to a relationship and to a life when you are more preoccupied with it and replace a good live relationship with porn.
You will not find any “thou shalt not watch porn” in the Bible. Like all freedoms know what the pros and cons about viewing porn. Pray about it! Discuss with your partner what is acceptable with enjoyment of pornography. Respect their views and boundaries and do not veer off regardless of their final decision. (See Romans 14: 13,14 for guidance).
Don’t expect to be Ron Jeremy or Jenna Jameson (the number one and two performers of all time according to Adult Video News Magazine) in the bedroom. Look, no one person can sustain as long as one scene in a movie. It’s a movie-remember one scene is shot in several takes. If you can please contact this website to tell us how it is done. Fantasy is one thing; reality is not as bad if you try to make each moment in the bedroom pleasurable and purposeful for both partners.
Those who object strongly to porn need to bring a better alternative to the table. If feminist feel strongly about women being treated as objects or then help find ways to turn the table. Write to the production studios, talk to directors, state your case with friends who enjoy porn, and even consider making porn with a respect towards women. Candida Royalle was in the business during the golden age of porn and decided to make erotic films from a female perspective. She has a great line of movies and other products empowering women in the bedroom and beyond.
This may be a hard one with the men, but if your mate is not into porn then respect her wishes. Value your relationship more than a your porn collection good man. She may have a good reason why she is not into porn as you are (self image, performance, looks, etc.) but value her input.
And please, PLEASE stop making your enjoyment of porn a “male only” issue. Involve your wife/spouse/partner into your enjoyment. You may be surprised what she enjoys and what turns her on.

Above all it is you, the consumer, who can send the message to the adult industry you want a more realistic vision of sexuality. It is also important to realize you do not have to be performing CirqueDuSolei in the bedroom, but just enjoy being intimate with your partner in the bedroom. All the images in the world (and the world wide web) could never bring to life that kind of enjoyment.

Other alternatives

There are other alternatives to bringing in hard core pornography into the relationship including soft core erotica, sexually instructive videos (check out Nina Hartley’s “How To” series), or written erotica can stimulate sexual images and fantasies without the silicone and moving body parts.

Watching Porn – How Do I Make My Lying Husband Come Clean?

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 21:29:39 +0000

Your husband watches porn.

He lies about it.

You get angry.

You fight.

Welcome to the club. We don’t know a single woman that hasn’t at least gotten miffed about her man’s porn watching. Is it the man’s fault? Should he stop watching it? Well, we’re going to be honest here and you may not like what we have to say.

It’s not the man’s fault and no, he shouldn’t have to stop watching porn.

We’re also going to share a little secret with you that may make your life easier.

It has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My husband and I have been together for eight years. We have a pretty good sex life, but for the past year we have been fighting about porn. He sneaks off and watches it. I have tried to get him to watch it with me, hoping he will stop sneaking and lying about it.

I have low self esteem and it hurts. I wish he would share it with me, it is starting to cause a problem with our marriage.

– Stephanie, PA

So he watches porn…

Let’s break it down. He watches porn – why? Well, because he likes it. Women may not understand that but there are many things that women do that men don’t “get.” For example, women have their nails done. They do it because they like it and it feels good. Do women get their nails done because there’s something about their husbands that they don’t like? Absolutely not! For men, watching porn is pleasurable, plain and simple.

Of course he lies about it

You ask him about his habits and he lies about it. Of course you know better, but why is he lying? The answer to that question is a tough one – he is lying about it because he doesn’t feel safe being honest with you. Why would he feel that way? He is afraid of you getting angry at him for doing something as natural to him as washing your hair. How would you like it if you got interrogated and yelled at every time you washed your hair?

Why you have a problem with it

Now that you understand more about where your man is coming from on this issue, you can delve a little deeper into how you feel about the situation. When he watches porn, it hurts you. Sure it does, but it shouldn’t and the reason it hurts you has nothing to do with him.

Many women are in this same position because they have low self-esteem and jealousy or control issues. These are coming from you – not him. Take some time to really think about why you feel the way you do about porn and do what you can to change those things. This is the time to really focus on yourself– trust us, when you take care of the inner issues, the outer ones don’t seem like such a big deal.

Take action

With that said, we know you’re not going to sit back and let him watch porn all day while you take a hot bath and work on self-acceptance. Here’s what you can do to take action:

Get your own porn, your own toys and get on with it! Too shy? Don’t worry – after you’ve taken care of those inner issues, confidence will begin to take their place. Let your husband watch how you do it and chances are he’ll really get into it.

Don’t make rules about when he can or can’t watch porn – he’s free to do it by himself or with you. If you leave the issue alone and let him be himself, he’ll probably take a little from column A and a little from column B – and that’s okay.

Porn Addiction! Huh? Women Addicted to Porn?!?

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 18:24:07 +0000

Everyone likes to think it’s just men that watch porn. Wives and girlfriends everywhere, high on false righteousness, patrol their man’s computer to make sure it’s still virgin. And God forbid he actually watches porn on TV. After all, porn’s just downright wrong, isn’t it? Or is it?

But here’s a shocker… lots of women actually enjoy porn, or some form of exotic, erotic entertainment. This urban myth that women don’t like porn or erotic movies goes back to the same popular culture ignorance that leads so many to believe that women don’t want or enjoy sex as much as men.

Fact is, women DO like sex just as much as men do. They just go about it differently, usually in a more discrete, seductive way.

Here’s a question from a lady in California who’s afraid she’s actually become ADDICTED to porn!

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

I have gotten into the habit of watching pornography to help me orgasm, whether it’s masturbating or having my boyfriend go down on me. I used to be able to have an orgasm without porn, but now I’m dependent on it. I don’t think my boyfriend minds much, but it’s just a nuisance.

How can I ease this habit?

– Aly, California

Why All Addictions Are Bad. Yes, Even Addictions to Porn.

Addictions are bad. It doesn’t matter what you’re addicted to: porn, cigarettes, food (which most everyone is addicted to), or anything else. Doing something because you WANT TO is great. But when you start NEEDING to do it, you know you’re in trouble. The whole fun and joy comes out of it, and you become a slave to whatever you’re doing.

STOP IT! If you realize you have an addiction that’s not serving you (most of them don’t), then kill it, don’t feed it. Most addictions feed an emotional emptiness of some sort. Do away with whatever you’re addicted to and find a better way to meet that need.

And the easiest way to make it stop is to SAY NO that very first time. That will begin to shatter the destructive behavior. When you feel the NEED to do it, do something else. Anything else. Each time you ‘just say no’ and choose a positive action instead, your brain re-wires itself to NOT be dependent on the addiction. Pretty soon, you’ll be free.

If you make a serious effort and still can’t break yourself of it, then get help. Find a counselor to help you get through it. But it all starts with you saying NO that first time and deciding it’s over.

Why Is Pornography Wrong?

Take a moment and really think about that. What IS wrong with watching porn?

I feel that it’s largely due to the social stigma around sex that exists in our society today. Sex is portrayed as evil and wrong, which is just silly if you actually think about it.

Sex is not evil, so why is it wrong to watch others have sex?

Not as a replacement for intimacy of course, but maybe something to help get you BOTH in the mood. And don’t necessarily think of the hard core stuff on the pay per view channels. How about some really erotic movies that’ll get you both excited and in the mood? Not every time, but as a fun change on a sexy date night.

What Is It About Porn That You Find Exciting?

To break the porn addiction, it’s vital to figure out what exactly you find exciting about it. Are you maybe enjoying a certain type of sex play? Is it bringing out some secret fantasies that you haven’t shared with your partner – or maybe which you were afraid to share for some reason?

Once you figure out what it is that’s really getting you excited, here’s a big question for you. Are you trying these things in your sex life? No? Why not?

Sex is so much more fulfilling when you openly share your wants and desires with your partner. Open and honest communication is crucial for a happy sexual and romantic relationship. So give it a try: talk. You’ll never know if you don’t ask.

Slow Seduction – Why It Matters

Are you getting enough warm up time and mental stimulation, or is it just Wham-Bam-Sex?

Sex is not just about the physical mechanics or inserting Tab A into Slot B. It’s about the excitement, the passion… the most enjoyable part of sex is mostly mental. Sure, the orgasm feels good either way, but there’s no substitute for hot, steamy sex where your mind and body are completely and utterly aroused and playing as one!

Remember also that some men are always ready to go at the drop of a hat. But women usually need more warm up time. Nothing like a hot date with the promise of a steamy, sleepless night to get you both turned on. Build up the anticipation and the tension, and you’ll be pleasantly amazed at the results.

Time to Bring the Excitement and Hot Sex Back Into Your Love Life

Leave the TV behind and bring that excitement in the real world. Nothing wrong with some porn or an exotic thriller now and then for a stay-home date night, but the real world can be so much more stimulating.

With just a little effort, you can actually spark some real excitement in your sex life. Block off some time each week to go out on some hot, exciting dates together. Don’t just talk about it, take action and make it happen. Take this seriously: schedule it now as if it was a doctor’s appointment. You’re going, and the appointment is set.

Now watch the anticipation build as you come up with exciting plans for your steamy date. And when the day comes, get to know each other even more intimately, share your hidden fantasies, and see where the night takes you.

Sex is a wonderful God given gift for us all to enjoy, preferably with someone we’re close to. So indulge yourself and your partner. Explore your desires together and have fun!

Help! My Husband is Addicted to Porn!

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 01:05:33 +0000

OK, fine… We all have different views on pornography and sexually explicit movies and pictures.

Some people take a firm stand against porn, while others use porn and erotic movies to enhance and spice up their sex lives.

And these days, internet pornography is easily accessible to those interested, and it’s very easy to hide from those who are against it. No more hiding magazines under your bed…

This has been the topic of many heated discussions between couples and family members for generations, and the sparks are really starting to fly.

Here’s a question from Serena in Illinois. She found internet porn on her boyfriend’s computer and is furious with him!

Dear Dan and Jennifer, My husband of 5 years has always seemed like an honest person. But I recently found internet porn on my computer. When I asked him about it he lied – of course.

He knows I’m dead set against Porn. It made me feel disgusting both inside and out. I told him that if that’s what he needs then I’m gone because I can’t and won’t live like that. He swears to never do it again.

Is he being truthful? Plus if he knew I was against it why would he still do it? It made me feel like I’m not good enough for him. Did I do something wrong for this to take place? Thanks for taking the time to read this.

–Serena

Why is Porn Wrong?

So why do so many feel that it’s wrong to view pornography? I feel that it’s largely due to the social stigma around sex that exists in our society today. Sex is portrayed as evil and wrong, which is just silly if you actually think about it.

Sex is not evil, so why is it wrong to watch others have sex? It’s very interesting that it’s OK for our kids to see incredible amounts of violence, but seeing even a breast is horrible. OMG! Don’t believe me? Check out cartoon network and then pay attention to what can and cannot be shown in a G-rated or PG-rated movie. This to me is what’s really scary!

Fighting, violence, and blood are acceptable for our children, but sex is not. That’s just messed up!

Trying to Control Your Partner

If you’re in a partnership and your significant other enjoys porn but you can’t stand it, what do you do?

Ask yourself what it is that you don’t like about pornography. Why is it disgusting or unacceptable to watch a sexual act? What’s really wrong with nudity?

Once you’ve got a true understanding in your own head, only then can you have an intelligent discussion with your partner. Yelling and ultimatums never work.

And put away that ugly jealousy monster. Just because your partner enjoys pornography does not mean that he or she does not find you attractive, or is going to leave you for someone else.

In fact, why not try watching with them to get an idea of what they enjoy. It could actually make your sex life even better.

Next…

How about accepting your partner for who they are and letting them enjoy themselves as long as it doesn’t turn into a true addiction. Excessive need for anything is not healthy, whether it is chocolate donuts or nudity.

Love is not about controlling our partners and bringing them around to our way of thinking. There are some things that you’ll differ on. In this case you may simply need to agree to disagree.

Why Ultimatums Never Work

“It’s X or me! Pick one!”

How many times have we heard, or said, this to someone? What actually happens when you say this is that you close the door for open an honest communication. Your partner now feels that they cannot be honest with you for fear of retribution, and that begins a downward spiral to destroying a relationship. In most cases, this person will get angry and defensive, and sometimes they’ll just storm out of the room. And guess what, they’re probably going to go behind your back and do it any way.

If you feel that there is a really an issue with addiction, then counseling or other professional help may be the answer, but ultimatums rarely work.

If you do choose to make and ultimatum, then you’d better be prepared to back it up, and possibly to lose your relationship. Ask yourself… is it really worth it?

Uncovering Sex and Sexuality Censorship in Today’s Business World

Dan and Jennifer — Wed, 07 Mar 2007 17:04:16 +0000

The level of censorship and phobias that exit in today’s business world are astounding – surrounding anything dealing with or even mentioning sex or sexuality.

You may not realize just how much censorship takes place every day that is keeping you from expressing your God given rights and freedoms.

While mostly naked swimsuit models are splashed on every magazine cover and billboard nationwide, the mere mention of sex or implied sexuality will get your ad pulled faster than you can say “sex”.

In fact, here’s an excellent example from today.

This morning I received a notification email from Text-Link-Ads, one of the great folks supporting our site. Advertisers go through Text-Link-Ads to purchase various text link ad spots on our blog. And the notification email asked me to go review an ad someone would like to place on our site. But when I logged on, I couldn’t see the ad pending review. So I emailed Text-Link-Ads to ask about it.

The answer was: “Hi Dan, It was an adult site so I had to decline it. Sorry for the hassle.” To which my immediate response was: “Hmmm… I’d still like to see the site and make that decision myself. I may or may not have a problem with the site.”

For us, it really depends on whether they provide content or a service that we feel would benefit our guests and readers.

Text-Link-Ads is great, do check them out…

Just to be clear, we aren’t holding anything against Text-Link-Ads. It’s entirely their choice what sites they do business with. Just like AskDanAndJennifer.com is our home on the web, and we get to decide who is and isn’t welcome.

We’ve had only good experiences dealing with them, and we recommend them highly. If you have a blog and are looking to make some extra money to cover your costs, sign up with them as a publisher.

If you would like to advertise to the readers of thousands of popular blogs, be sure to take advantage of the $100 in free ads coupon Text-Link-Ads is running right now.

So why the heck does all of this Sexual Censorship matter to you?

We try really hard to keep all of our posts on topic for our readers.

But let’s recap our mission for AskDanAndJennifer.com: “To help people create more conscious relationships based on love and acceptance rather than fear, jealousy, anger, and ownership. It’s time to move on from outdated ideas about relationships and sex…”

So yes, some sexual content would be appropriate on our blog.

And what exactly is an adult site anyway?

That’s hard to say for sure. This morning I didn’t even get to find out. And unfortunately these types of fears lead to blurring lines and very broad definitions.

Could it perhaps be an adult dating site like Adult Friend Finder? What’s wrong with that? Tens of millions of people find sex partners on Adult Friend Finder. If people didn’t use it, this site wouldn’t be more popular than all the top online dating sites put together.
Or maybe a BDSM dating site, like ALT.com – sister site to Adult Friend Finder? Again, if millions of people didn’t find this service useful, it would quickly go out of business.
Or – No not that! – maybe it’s a live adult video chat site like Sizzling Cams or Totally Free Cams, where you can connect with live people from all over the U.S. and beyond. And – gasp – they cater to every possible fetish you can think of. Yes, that too. And you can even sample the product for free. Wow, it may be sinful just thinking about it.
WARNING, these are adult sites. Before you click, cover your eyes – and if you’re at work, turn your speakers off!

So, it would still be nice as free American adults to make our own decisions about whether or not we’d like to view or display adult content on our blogs and websites.

And don’t even get me started on “protecting the children” from porn.

That scam has been used to take away more freedoms than just about anything in recent history, except maybe for the Patriot Act. We can better protect our children by being real parents and without locking up all of the adults.

Major News Media Censorship – What ever happened to free speech?

These days it’s more like ‘restricted’ speech.

Some years ago Jennifer and I started and online dating site here in Dallas. It was a very interesting and educational experience. And we learned a lot about the type of censorship that goes on behind the scenes in Corporate America today.

We signed up to run some banner ads on the websites of two prominent Dallas area newspapers. They signed the contract, accepted payment, and had no problem with our creatives (the banner ads) initially.

Then, right as we were going live with the campaigns, both called to tells us they would have to pull the ads due to the sexual connotation in the creatives.

By the way, we can’t mention the names of the newspapers here or many media outlets won’t publish this article – more censorship…

Do we just fear nudity or is it the mere thought of open sexuality?

Here’s one of the banner ads in question for your viewing enjoyment. You’ll note there is no nudity shown whatsoever, and there is nothing graphic, violent, or otherwise generally offensive in the ad.

Not to imply there’s anything immediately offensive about the natural state of the human body – but that’s another discussion for another day.

However, the depiction of this woman licking a thorn is very sensual, seductive, and sexually playful. Or could it be because we mentioned Intimate Encounters. We can’t have that now can we – people admitting that they actually want and have sex.

And sometimes you can’t say the word “Gay” on the radio

This is a little off topic, but not too much. We were signing a deal to run some radio ads on a very popular Dallas radio station when we found out that we had to edit our ad. They required a single very specific change – we had to edit out the word “gay”. No, really.

Janet Jackson’s infamous breast – the wardrobe malfunction extraordinaire

I’m sure many of you remember Janet Jackson’s “wardrobe malfunction” not too long ago. This was one of (if not THE) most replayed moment in TIVO history. Gee, guess that tells us something.

And sadly millions of people turned to stone that day. Or did they? Wait, this just in. Janet Jackson’s breast did not trigger mass fatalities after all. Not to mention the administrative grandstanding in the days following, you would have thought someone had launched a nuclear war.

In summary

We believe sex is not in any way evil or terrible. But this general fear and shame associated with sex and sexuality is a prime cause for many of our societal issues and relationship problems.

How many people don’t even know if they’re sexually compatible until after they get into a marriage contract? Yes, it’s their choice of course. But just think about their chances of staying together long term if their sex life is really poor. Of course they could stay together and pretend to be monogamous like many couples do, and cheat with others on the side. Is that really better? Is it any surprise our divorce rate is over 50%?

Ok, deep breath. Blessings all round, and on with our day.

Please leave a comment below to tell us what you think on the topic of Sexual Censorship!

Got Porn? What Are Some Great Erotic Movies to Get HER in the Mood?

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 06 Mar 2007 07:09:16 +0000

Fact is most women aren’t turned on by the hard core stuff you see on Pay-Per-View and the Playboy channel…

The hard core stuff may work for the guys, but chances are it’ll do little or nothing for her. She most likely wants something with a little more warm up time and some intellectual stimulation, with a little slow seduction mixed in.

And I think most guys will agree that it’s well worth the extra time to get their partner as revved up as they are.

Certainly there’s lots of adult live video available online in every imaginable genre, much of it free on sites like Totally Free Cams and iFriends (warning: NSFW).

There’s something to be found for every imaginable sex fantasy and fetish out there.

But how about finding something different… some hot steamy sex movies that will get you both excited and ready for a memorable night of hot, passionate sexual adventure?

The Question

My wife had suggested watching porn together to get her excited before having sex. I thought it was a great idea, but I had a hard time selecting a video that isn’t too raunchy or distasteful… do you have any recommendations?

The Answer

Fact is hard core porn doesn’t really get women excited and in the mood. It’s just a little too over the top for most women. For this reason a lot of men think women don’t like watching sex movies. Nothing could be further from the truth - women just have slightly different tastes.

So why not try a different twist? How about some steamy erotic movies that will get you both excited and ready for a memorable night of hot, passionate sexual adventure?

Sexy, Erotic Thrillers

There are quite a few options in the erotic thriller category, many of which are truly good quality movies that include a real plot and real characters with depth – the kind you can actually relate to.

An erotic thriller should have the key ingredients to get you both going in the right direction: sexual attraction and lust, a little danger and excitement, sexual intrigue or forbidden passions, and slow seduction.

Here are some of our favorite hot erotic thrillers

Start with these and see what happens

Get a couple of these and plan to stay in for a hot movie date with your partner. See how you two feel when things start to get hot - and guys, when you start to get really excited, wait another 15 minutes to give her time to catch up…

P.S. – If anyone knows of any similar movies that we don’t have listed, add a comment and share you favorites. We’re always looking for new erotic movies to watch together.

But if you still find yourself looking for something more hard core, then check out some of the adult live streaming video sites like Totally Free Cams or iFriends (warning: NSFW).

Ask Dan and Jennifer » porn

How To F#ck Her Like A Porn Star… And How Even The Skinniest Dweeb Can Give Any Woman BODY-QUAKING Orgasms

Top Porn Stars Show YOU How To Have Sex?

The Incredible Sex Video Series

What You’ll Learn In The Incredible Sex Video Series

Where Else Will You Learn Sex Tips From Hot, Almost Naked Porn Stars THEMSELVES?

Related Posts

Is Porn Responsible For Erectile Dysfunction?

The Prevalence Of Porn

What Does Pushing The Envelope Mean For Men?

Does It Really Cause Erectile Dysfunction?

What To Do About It

Related Posts

5 Ways To Get Him To Stop Watching Porn

1. Find Out What He’s Watching

2. Make Amateur Porn

3. How Do You Look?

4. Get Some Damn Confidence

5. Have More Sex

Related Posts

Premature Ejaculation – Stop It By NOT Doing These 2 Things!

Problem #1 - Trying To Have Sex Like A Porn Star

Problem #2 – Not Giving Her A Great Orgasm (Or Two Or Three) First

Related Posts

5 Things Guys Really DON’T Want In Bed

He Doesn’t Want To Try “Butt Stuff”

Lingerie That Has Too Many Clasps, Buttons, Zippers, etc.

Watching Porn With You

Drunk Sex

Kinky Sex That Goes Too Far

Related Posts

How To Become The Sensual Seductress Your Man Fantasizes About!

Wear Sexy Lingerie That Reveals Your Curves Just Right

Dive In With Sex Toys

Try Lube

Watch Some Good Porn

Grab Some Erotic Books

Related Posts

Make Her Beg For Anal Sex!

Lube Is Your Best Friend

Start Small At First

Sh!t Happens

Remember The After Care

Related Posts

Q&A: MILF Fantasy – I Want To Have Sex With My Step-Mom!

A MILF Fantasy Is Perfectly Normal

Acting On Your Fantasy

Consider Counseling

Redirect That Energy Elsewhere

Related Posts

How To Use The 5 Senses During Sex

Sight

Taste

Smell

Sound

Touch

Related Posts

6 Ways To Make Male Masturbation Better Than Sex

Use Lube!

Try A Masturbation Sleeve

Watch Porn – The Kind You REALLY Like

Use A Warm Towel

Go Slow And Take Your Time

Let Your Orgasm Build

Related Posts

Homemade Porn – 9 Things You HAVE To Film!

A Point Of View Blowjob

Close Up Cunnilingus

Night Vision

The Money Shot

Your Favorite Fetish

Female Ejaculation

Your Favorite Role Play

Masturbation

Intense Foreplay

Related Posts

How To Get Her To Make A Dirty Video For You

Women Naturally Want To Make Their Man Happy

It Doesn’t Have To Be Full On Porn

Tell Her You’d Rather Masturbate To Her