Ask Dan and Jennifer » previous sex partners

Would You Date Someone Who’s Been Married Multiple Times? Here’s Why You Should…

Lisa Quirke — Thu, 28 Feb 2008 14:19:48 +0000

It finally happened. You met someone you really like. There seems to be a connection, you have a great timetogether, and you think that maybe it’s time to take the relationship to the next level.

And then it happens. She tells you she’s been married four times. Yes, four.

So, what do you do?

Run for hills? Head to the little boy’s room never to return? Make your excuses and then “lose” her phone number?

Or do you grow up and little bit and give her the benefit of the doubt?

The cold, hard truth

The truth is she’s not a serial rapist or a serial killer or even necessarily a serial bride. She’s a woman who made some choices that didn’t quite pan out. Granted they may have been bad ones. I’ll give you that and thenask you this. So what?

There are actually a couple of things to think about here. First of all, haven’t you been in relationships that didn’t work out?How many? Uh huh, that’s what I thought. The only difference is she married them; you didn’t. Maybe she’ll judge you and consider you someone who has commitment issues based on that. Hmmm.

Relationships, and marriages, fail for many reasons. There may have been an abuse issue, an alcohol or drug issue, a control issue, or maybe even a death. Sadly, in today’s world these things happen way too often.

And remember, it takes more courage and heart to leave an abusive or alcoholic relationship than to stay in one.

Secondly, are you the same person you were 20 years ago? 10? Even 5? Do you make decisions the same way now as you did in the past? Have your values and maturity levels changed?

As we grow and mature, we gain experiences, both good and bad, that shape us into the people we are today. We make mistakes, we learn from them, and we move on tomake more decisions.

Think of it this way. When you’re dating in your 30s and 40s, you’ve been through some crap. Unless you’ve been locked in a closet for 30 or 40 years, you’ve done some things and made some choices that were less than stellar.

Do you want to be judged on the basis of just those choices?…

Is Anger Over Previous Sex Partners Justified? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 17:36:09 +0000

So you’ve started dating a new person and you’re curious about previous relationships… We all are.

We want to know if our partner has had sex with other people; and the masochistic side of us wants to know how many, and if they were better than us. But what happens when we find out…

Do we get angry? Do we accept our partner for who they are?

What would you do?

Are you really prepared to hear the truth? You better be before you ask the question.

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

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Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts – leave a comment below.

Is Anger Over Previous Sex Partners Justified?

It’s In The Past – Let It Go

The issue here is that we are all incredibly insecure about ourselves and our relationships…

The thing you have to realize is that previous sex partners and other life experiences are what made your partner who they are today. Just because he or she had sex with other people does not change how they feel about you now and should not change how you feel about them.

It’s A Control Thing

Why is it that men, in general, can be so judgmental about women? It seems to be a bit of a quagmire. Men expect women to be virgins and women expect men to have eyes only for her after they meet.

In reality this is just a control thing…

Sex, Religion, and Guilt… Will It EVER End? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 16:17:30 +0000

This extremely controversial issue comes up over and over again. People from a very strict religious upbringing experience many relationship difficulties around sex and sexuality.

They especially take issue with their partner’s sexual history. But the problem comes in when they pass judgment on their partner for "sexual indiscretions", and try to "save" this person. This is a very common problem with men from very religious backgrounds, when they discover their wife or girlfriend has had sex before them… and, gasp! sometimes with more than just one man!

This of course results in serious relationship problems, and often a break up or divorce.

We are today the product of our upbringing, experiences, and choices

The person you love is who they are because of their upbringing, their experiences, and each and every choice they made up to this point in their lives. Without all those factors, this person would not be who they are today, and would likely not have ever met you – since all those circumstances in their life also ultimately led to the two of you coming together.

So it is naive and hypocritical for people to talk about "forgiving" their partners’ sexual past, when they love this person for who they are today.

Women and virgins… "Hey – who broke the safety seal on this one?!"

This whole thing about "I want to marry a virgin" sounds nice in theory, but it doesn’t reflect the reality in our society today.

The real question to ask is – "who cares?" So what if she’s had sex before? Maybe then she’ll actually know what she’s doing when she has sex with you – better yet, maybe she’ll actually know what she likes.

Gasp! Women taking pleasure in sex. No, it can’t be! Sure, it’s barely been over 100 years since the ever enlightened medical establishment of the day (read: men with large egos) was telling us that women don’t actually take pleasure in sex. Of course during those glorious days doctors could only examine the parts of a woman that weren’t covered by her mandatory head-to-toe clothing. No, seriously. This is not fiction. It’s the height of the arrogance and hypocrisy of the Victorian age… a time from which many of today’s sexual taboos stem, and thus many of today’s relationship sex and intimacy problems.

There are places in today’s world still where women cannot show their faces. Lifting their veils amounts to public pornography, and is against the law of the land. Can you believe it? And let’s not forget that it’s barely been sixty years since women have been allowed to vote.

We live in fascinating times, but our dark history is not far behind.

Strong religious upbringing and sex education…

Something we see very often from people raised in a very strict religious manner is a complete lack of sex education. Unfortunately, when we hide away from sex and don’t teach our children about the realities of sex, the inevitable will happen…

500 Sex Tips and Love Making Secrets That Everyone Ought to Know

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 27 May 2007 14:20:05 +0000

Think back to your last date, or more specifically, to the last time you and your partner had sex …

Do you remember the steam, the excitement, the sheer animal passion when you made love… how you couldn’t help from literally tearing each other’s clothes off in the heat of passion?

No, not on your last date? Maybe the one before? Well, you get the point…

That SHOULD be your sex life, but it isn’t. So let’s find out why and FIX IT.

You’ll want to read all the way to end of this post so that you don’t miss a single great idea.

The good news – it’s not your fault! Our culture has so demonized sex and love making, that most parents won’t even have a proper discussion about sex with their children or even show affection in public. The real irony here is that we are sexual beings – it’s hard wired into our DNA.

It’s absolutely amazing how many people think sex is basically missionary position, and with the lights off. Can you say boring? Who wants to do that three times a week, really? Can you imagine having the exact same item for dinner the rest of your life?

So are you destined for a boring sex life when you KNOW there are people out there having mind-numbingly amazing and enjoyable sex?

Has this ever happened to you?

You’ve just started dating a great guy or girl, and they’re wonderful. You’re really hitting it off. But a few weeks into your relationship, they start to get cold and distant, making excuses and getting too busy for you.

You may catch a hushed mention of a previous lover, maybe when they’re chatting with a trusted friend, maybe on the phone, or worse – on the phone with their ex. Fact is, people often break up for reasons other than sex, but great sex will keep them ing back to their previous lover again, and again, and again… even when it’s against their better judgement.

So how do you become one of these incredible lovers that no one can leave or resist?

Here’s our review of, Oprah Love Expert, Michael Webb’s excellent guide 500 Love Making Tips & Secrets.

I’m sure you’ll be as excited as we were when we started flipping through the pages. Michael Webb has one of the best collections of sex tips and lovemaking advice around.

Here are just a few of the tips you’ll discover in 500 Love Making Tips & Secrets:

An item in the frozen food section that will send shivers up and down your mates body in a very surprising way
Something in your toiletry bag which doubles as an amazing lovemaking toy
2 novel ways to use mirrors in lovemaking that you probably never heard of
Several natural ways to add length to your penis (two you can even test out tonight)
the one month a guy’s testosterone peaks
A great way to invirate someone who is too tired for sex
What colored light bulbs will intensify orgasms
How to get firmer erections and prevent premature ejaculation without medicines
The two things done in combination that will blow his mind
A sexy lubrication tip that will have him, well, enough said
What food and drink you should avoid the 24 hours before making love to avoid unpleasant odors
Food items to consume so your juices are sweeter (some might surprise you)
One simple trick to make your wife scream in delight like never before
Which smells can instantly increase penile blood flow by up to 40%
Where and how to touch your guy when he is about to orgasm that will have him explode like a firecracker (even he probably doesn’t know this trick)
Ways to use your mouth on her that will drive her absolutely wild
Something to do with your hands when you are entering her that will excite her even more

Michael Webb also includes some really great dating tips to help you make your creative dates a success instead of a flop. And he also tells you how to avoid some potentially devastating dating disasters.

500 Love Making Tips & Secrets also gives you a run down of the most common love making positions (and additional ones for the adventurous and athletic) along with explanations of the benefits of each one.

There’s also a Lubrication Guide that gives you the pros and cons of the more popular products on the market, so you’ll know what’s fun and safe and what you should stay away from.

500 Love Making Tips & Secrets includes many wild, exciting and juicy ideas, but Michael Webb stays true to his promise that none of them are immoral, degrading, perverted, or raunchy. Bummer… We like some of the kinky stuff.

Summary:

While we found some of the tips and ideas in 500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets to be a little light, and we don’t necessarily agree with his viewpoints on pornography, there are definitely a lot of great lovemaking tips and ideas that are worth trying at least once, and many that you’ll probably keep using over and over again.

Overall we highly recommend this book.

Get your copy right now before you get busy and forget. Surprise your partner with the best lovemaking they’ve had in a long time.

While you’re at it, you’ll definitely want to check out Michael’s other terrific resources below.

One of our personal favorites is Lick by Lick – How to Go Down on a Woman and Have Her Begging for More.

Enjoy Lick by Lick – How to Go Down on a Woman and Have Her Begging for More (Our Review…)
Learn how to really please your man with Blow by Blow: A Tasteful Guide on How to Give Mind-Blowing Blow Jobs (Fellatio)
Draw closer together with 1000 Questions for Couples (Our Review…)

Don’t put it off.

You’ll kick yourself if you don’t get 500 Love Making Tips & Secrets today.