Online Dating Photos: Is One Enough?

Dylan Alexander — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 13:30:28 +0000

Here is a common mistake a lot of people make in their online dating profiles:

They have a photo. One. Single. Photo.

Almost all online dating sites give you space, or a “backstage” photo gallery, where you can usually add at least 6-10 more, above and beyond your main one.

Out of all the online dating profiles out there, less than 10% actually fill up this backstage gallery with photos.

And these people say, “I have a photo. They can see what I look like. That’s good enough.”

If you are happy with being “good enough”, that’s okay. But if you want to be in the elite 10% of people who get 90% of the attention to themselves, you’ll need to maximize this huge asset.

Here are 3 good reasons why you should fill your backstage photo gallery:

Reason #1

It will get the eyes of people who search for profiles with backstage photos (on websites which have this search function). A lot of people search this way because they know people with backstage galleries are usually more serious about online dating.

Reason #2

It will keep people looking at your profile longer. Scanning through a page of photos takes time, and the more exposure someone has to your profile, whether it is photos or text, the more likely they are to commit to emailing you.

Reason #3

It allows you to give your readers a much deeper impression of your life, and creates a much stronger connection with their subconscious. This gives you that all important lasting impression. This is the most important reason by far.

You are familiar with the expression "a picture is worth a thousand words", right? This is a fantastic opportunity to give your reader a few thousand extra words about you without the effort of writing them!

Here are a few examples of what you can accomplish quickly and effectively by creating an extended photo gallery:

Display your sense of adventure – post photos of you somewhere exotic or doing something exciting.
Display your sense of culture – post photos of yourself at a play, art gallery, or museum.
Display your sense of style – post a few photos wearing your best threads!
Create comfort – post photos of you with your friends or family (just not ones that make you look like you are with an ex!)
Display a sense of fun – post photos where you are smiling, laughing, or hamming for the camera.
Display your sporty side – post photos of you actually doing the sports you enjoy, instead of just listing them in your profile.

Why photos are so important

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Online Dating Profile: Anatomy Of A Great Opening Paragraph

Dylan Alexander — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 13:57:53 +0000

Wouldn’t it be great if people read your entire profile simply out of respect for the effort you put into it?

The sad truth about profiles

Sadly, this is the opposite of reality. The truth is, people rarely read all the way through your profile before deciding to move on. The second they get bored, they close it and skip to the next person… usually before the end of the first paragraph!

So, is not reading the whole profile the fault of the reader for not having a great attention span? No. It is the fault of the writer for not hooking them in the first paragraph!

The opening hook

Most online daters fail to appreciate the importance of the “opening paragraph hook.” This is a critical tool in any writing, but especially in online dating profiles, where you must get your reader, man or woman, to become involved in your profile enough to want to see it all the way through.

Your first paragraph is absolutely the most critical in your profile. It sets the tone for your entire piece. It hooks the reader. It gets them curious, and makes them want to read more.

Consider this… when you pick up a magazine or newspaper and start reading an article, if you get bored during the first paragraph, how much more do you usually read? NONE OF IT. And that’s exactly what’s happening with the people reading your profile, they aren’t getting hooked and are wandering off.

How to lose their attention

Want to know one of the best things you can write to lose their attention immediately?

Try this:

"I hate writing these. It’s so hard to describe everything about yourself in words. Each time I do I feel I never come close enough to who I really am. Oh well, I guess I have to put something, so here it goes."

In this common and pessimistic paragraph, you are telling the reader that you are uncreative, lacking personal insight, and just as average as every other online dater out there who starts their profile the same way. This is a bad way to kick off your profile!

How about this one…

Ask Dan and Jennifer » profile