Ask Dan and Jennifer » rejection

How To Approach Groups Of Girls You Don’t Know, And Get Them To Think You’re Great!

Tiffany Taylor — Thu, 11 Dec 2008 19:08:49 +0000

If you’re wondering how to approach girls in a group and get them to think you’re wonderful, keep reading. For this example I’m going to use women at a bar. I will be going into lots of other techniques for non-bar pickups too but for now, we’ll stick with this.

(Note: In fact, I even recommend you try my top places for picking up that are not bars. They are WAAAAAAAY better than ANY bar and you’ll see a massive leap in your success rates with women.)

As you know, women don’t usually go to bars on their own. They go in groups.

Approaching Groups of Women Can Be Scary!

Approaching GROUPS of women can be extremely daunting and if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can fail BADLY with groups and like a pack of wolves they can rip you apart. I’ve seen men get cussed at, totally ignored and even drinks poured over them.

But if you do the approach RIGHT, then your success with a group of women can usually yield great results.

Whenever I suggest approaching groups of women I get LOADS of guys looking at me as though I’m from another planet. I realize that lots of guys probably don’t have the initial confidence to simply walk up to beautiful women they don’t know. Don’t worry, this can be easily solved. I’ll give you some simple tips here.

SIDE NOTE: If you have a major confidence problem then don’t worry, I have an advanced 155-page E-book called HypnoDate which almost exclusively goes into increasing your confidence with women – and it works through the power of self-reprogramming so it doesn’t matter how shy you are, this thing WILL work for you. But guess what – it’s a bonus product that comes with my book at no extra cost.

Increasing Confidence Exercise In The Mall

Step 1. Walk around the shopping mall and when you catch a woman’s eye, smile at her. More often than not, she’ll smile back. To start with you can do this just with shop employees. Even if they don’t WANT to smile, they probably will. Good practice. And you might even brighten a few women’s lives a little.

Step 2. Once you’ve gained confidence in making natural eye contact and a smile with staff, you could move onto other women in the mall. I’m not suggesting big weird freak smiles, just nice, natural friendly ones. A lot of women will smile back at you.

Step 3. Here’s where it might seem a little weird, but this really does help and practice and repetition will make this lots easier. Just say “hi” with a smile to women (and men if you like) as you walk around the mall. It will feel HORRIBLE at first if you are not confident but slowly, after an hour or two, it’ll seem easy.

How Do You Feel Now?

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Get Rejected? Use It To Your Advantage When Picking Up Women…

W. Wilcox — Wed, 26 Nov 2008 19:12:01 +0000

Most men aren’t skillful or successful when it comes to meeting and dating women.

There are two main reasons for this: they don’t get out there and sell themselves, meet women and make connections. And when, once in every blue moon, they do try it on with a girl, they fall flat on their faces, not knowing how to handle the situation, the conversation, the interaction and attraction.

There’s a single word that ties these two reasons for failure together, it’s rejection.

Men who would love to meet and date a beautiful girl or two choose not to go out and actually try to make it happen, on the most part, because of a deep-seated fear of rejection.

They hate the idea that they might get shot down and embarrassed. And they know that if they try their hardest and STILL get rejected, they definitely have no hope with women, now or ever.

So, they prefer to stay at home with the vague ambition that one day they might make something happen. On the other hand, there are men out there that do try to meet and get together with girls and, unfortunately, they get rejected every now and then.

Once it’s happened a couple of times, those brush-offs take their toll on the guy: his confidence dwindles, his sense of humor begins to fade, and most noticeably, his motivation vanishes.

He becomes like 80% of the rest of the male population: a dreamer and not a do’er.

Recognize the Positive

The first thing you need to do is recognize the POSITIVE function rejection serves. You need to define it in your mind. What is it and what does it mean? Rejection often comes in the following forms:

1. You’ve been talking to a girl for a while and things seem to be going well but when you ask to see her again or suggest swapping numbers she suddenly freezes up on you and shuts you out.

2. You try to get talking to a girl but she only gives you the minimal amount of recognition possible and doesn’t allow you to start a real conversation.

3. You’ve been on a couple of dates with a girl but have yet to take it further. When you try to progress the relationship, she clams up and becomes distant and seemingly uninterested.

Whatever type of rejection you’ve experience or fear the most, you need to fully recognize what it is. It’s a sign that one or more components of your game, that is, your ability to be successful with women, isn’t functioning correctly.

It’s like a flashing red light in a submarine, it’s telling you something ain’t right and, most importantly, that you need to DO something to fix it. That’s the key point most men consistently miss.

Rejection Is Not Necessarily a Bad Thing

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I’m Leaving You! Does The Punishment Really Fit The Crime? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Tue, 25 Nov 2008 19:04:40 +0000

If you’ve been in a relationship where you or your partner threaten to leave or end the relationship when you’re angry, you’re not alone. In reality, this is often something people do out of frustration and desperation.

You may not be planning to leave or end the relationship at all, even though you’re angry now.

What causes you to act so extreme?

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Feeling Out Of Control

It’s easy for someone to feel out of control in a situation like that. One partner gets upset, the other gets upset and it goes back and forth, escalating until one or both partners feel completely out of control.

Being extremely angry at your partner can make you feel lost and helpless, and an escalating argument doesn’t help the situation any at all. It simply gets to a point where you feel so out of control of the situation that you want to say something, anything, to gain some control again over what is happening.

Threatening to leave or end the relationship puts you back in control and puts the ball back in your court. Your partner may say, "Fine, leave," however this simply puts you back in the position of feeling out of control.

Arguments between couples often go on and on like this, until one or both partners get enough time and space to resolve the original argument. It might be difficult at that point, however, to even remember what the original argument was about!

Where Does It Come From

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Afraid To Talk To Your Partner? Here’s a Step By Step Guide to Overcoming Your Fears…

Nick Arrizza MD — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 13:53:15 +0000

Certainly love means many things but one of the critical components is the ability to be courageous and indeed honest in your communications with your partner.

This is perhaps one of the most difficult of tasks because of the many fears that step in one’s way. It may not seem surprising that these fears are also those that eventually spell the demise of a relationship.

So what are some of these fears and how does one transcend them in order to establish a healthy and truly loving relationship?

Fears in Communication

First the fears; they include such things as:

I fear I will be rejected if I speak my truth to my partner.
I fear I will hurt my partner with my truth.
I fear I will feel guilty and be unable to forgive myself.
I fear I will have to justify my feelings or beliefs to my partner.
I fear my partner may get angry with me.

Clearly capitulating to such fears means suppressing your own truth. That is accompanied with feelings of frustration, dishonesty, needing to constantly be on guard that one’s truth is kept under control, and a decreasing degree of true intimacy.

It may also lead to feelings of becoming emotionally and sexually distant from one’s partner, possibly the sharing of such information with third parties in order to vent one’s frustrations, sexual affairs and so on.

The tendency for all of these is to undermine the relationship anyway.

So if you’re feeling caught between the proverbial “rock and the hard place” how does one find a way to nurture a truly healthy, loving and sustainable relationship? Well, to summon up the courage to be honest and truthful when the circumstances call for it!

Summoning Up the Courage to Communicate

Of course in order to do so one must transcend the catastrophic beliefs i.e. the potential for rejection, being hurtful, feeling guilty etc., that are fed by the fears that I have listed above.

Here is a powerful way to accomplish this.

Let’s take the first item above i.e. the fear of rejection as an example that you can walk through with me.

Overcoming Fear Step by Step

Now contemplate the following question: “What is the benefit to you of having the fear of rejection living inside you?” Initially one may say that it protects one from getting rejected,

If this is the case, then supposedly how would you feel knowing that you were being protected in this way? Well, you might say that you might be feeling safe, secure, calm, relaxed, confident and resilient to the reactions of others to whatever you might say.

So to summarize one could say that: The fear of rejection causes you to feel safe, secure, calm, relaxed, confident and resilient to the reactions of others to whatever you might say.

Is That Really Your Truth?

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The Attraction of Confidence – Why Women Are Attracted To Confident Men

Matt Savage — Thu, 17 Jul 2008 13:36:52 +0000

You’re standing in a bar. Across from you is a beautiful woman.

You make eye contact and smile. She smiles back and decides to come over. She gets closer and closer.

You suddenly get a tight little knot in your stomach; anxiety from not knowing what will come next. Now she is standing in front of you. Your heart is racing.

You barely manage to get out the words, "Uhhhh Hi." She says "hi" back with a look of intrigue. As she begins to speak, you begin to doubt.

You wonder what she’s thinking. How could this beautiful woman possibly be interested in me?

After a brief moment of small talk, the woman walks away. You begin to wonder, what the hell just happened?

You can’t help but feel rejected. You obsess over what could possibly be wrong with you. The next thing you know, several hours have gone by and you’re a big pile of anxiety.

What turned her off?

So what repelled this woman? It could have been any number of things. Was it your breath? Your insecure body language? Your shortened height? Your hideous disfigured face? The thing is, you will never know what drove this woman away. This is the unknown variable of attraction.

Variables of attraction

There are many variables in a person that determines whether they are attractive or not. There have been volumes written about the science of attraction. Even many of today’s top dating gurus are constantly seeking ways to decipher the process of attraction. However, with centuries of research and much discussion, there always seems to be one thing, one variable, that consistently makes a person attractive – confidence.

To be free from doubt; to have belief in yourself and your abilities. This is confidence.

Why confidence matters

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6 Tips For Handling Rejection

Click by Lavalife, Sarah Fielding — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 15:08:56 +0000

If You’ve Ever Been Rejected, This is the Article for You!

You’ve had a date or two with someone you thought was interested in you, then they drop the bombshell that they don’t feel a connection. Ouch!

You wish you could control the overwhelming feelings of anger, embarrassment, anxiety and/or hopelessness but you can’t.

Rejection is a fact of life. It’s how you handle it that makes all the difference.

Here are some strategies that may help you cope with life’s — and love’s — inevitable knock-backs.

Don’t Take it Personally

In many cases, the so-called rejection may have nothing to do with you at all.

For instance, someone may reject your advances because you remind them of someone from their past (not your fault), they are having a career crisis (not your fault) or are dealing with some other pressing personal issue that they elect not to explain (again, not your fault).

"I really liked this guy and we dated a couple of times before he told me he didn’t have time for me. I felt awful," says Jess. "I ran into him a year later and he told me that his father had been sick with cancer — he later died — and all this was happening when we had first met," she says. "I had thought he just wasn’t interested in me but the truth was that it had nothing to do with me."

Silence your Inner Child

The Inner Child often overreacts and feels the whole world has turned thumbs down and that true love will never come (insert high-pitched wail here). Our adult selves know this is simply not true yet the words of our Inner Child ring in our ears.

Recover from rejection by silencing your Inner Child and reminding yourself that ‘never’ is not a realistic concept. To get yourself back on track, try making a list of all the people in your life who do love you and let the sting of rejection melt away.

Don’t Let it Rattle You

Don’t let a negative response shake your confidence. "If I didn’t get a second date with a guy, I’d spend literally days running through out first meeting wondering what I did to put him off," says Sue.

"One day I had a revelation: You can’t be everyone’s idea of a perfect match, so it’s only natural that you will have first dates that don’t eventuate into second ones. And that’s fine. If we all met the man of our dreams the first time, there would be no single people and there are lots of single people out there…"

Think of It as a Favor

If your first or second date didn’t turn into something more, in some ways you should be thankful. It may be uncomfortable to hear, but getting a firm, clear-eyed grasp on incompatibility early rather than later is a huge time-saving plus. The early brush-off allows you to chalk it up to experience and move on.

Turn It into a Positive

Sounds cheesy but you can make rejection work as a motivator for self-improvement. "Knock-backs aren’t fun, that’s for sure," says Phil, "But if I get a ‘no’ from someone I was interested in,

I always use the opportunity to work on myself — do a course, work out more at the gym, go on a health kick, that sort of thing. I figure if I am the best I can be that I will find the best person for me. And if it takes a few ‘nos’ to get there, so be it."

Don’t Dwell on It

Sometimes the fact that we have been rejected is so painful and all-consuming that it becomes the only thing we talk about. Friends hear how badly we’ve been treated or listen patiently to our complaints that we will never find true love.

Other singles rally around us offering rejection anecdotes, all of which seem to confirm our worst fears — that there are no decent men/women left and we will never find Mr/Ms Right.

Get a grip. Turn this apparent catastrophe into a chance to make a change. Get back online, update that profile and optimistically look toward the future.

Brought to you by Click By Lavalife.

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Can Seduction and Pick Up Tactics Work for You? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 08 Apr 2007 23:15:04 +0000

If you’re a guy, you’ve certainly heard of at least one "How to Pick Up Any Woman" product.

These products are typically DVD or CD programs that claim to show you the art of seducing a woman by using subtle yet effective seduction techniques to easily approach any woman without getting rejected.

While these techniques can be very effective, will they work for you?

Watch this short video to find out…

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