Ask Dan and Jennifer » relationship videos

Watching Porn – How Do I Make My Lying Husband Come Clean? (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 22:29:39 +0000

Your husband watches porn.

He lies about it.

You fight.

Welcome to the club. We don’t know a single woman that hasn’t at least gotten miffed about her man’s porn watching. Is it the man’s fault? Should he stop watching it? Well, we’re going to be honest here and you may not like what we have to say.

It’s not the man’s fault and no, he shouldn’t have to stop watching porn.

We’re also going to share a little secret with you that may make your life easier.

It has absolutely nothing to do with you.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

My husband and I have been together for eight years. We have a pretty good sex life, but for the past year we have been fighting about porn. He sneaks off and watches it. I have tried to get him to watch it with me, hoping he will stop sneaking and lying about it.

I have low self esteem and it hurts. I wish he would share it with me, it is starting to cause a problem with our marriage.

– Stephanie, PA

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

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So he watches porn…

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How to Stop Resentment From Killing Your Relationship (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 15:54:09 +0000

After being married for a while, many couples find themselves in a situation where one partner feels angry, hurt, and/or resentful toward the other.

They feel that they’re the only one who’s made sacrifices for the relationship, that they gave up their dreams, so that their partner could succeed.

Is it possible to overcome these feelings of resentment and move forward to have a loving and caring relationship?

Here’s a question from Jim in Michigan who’s trying to work through these feelings himself.

Dear Dan and Jennifer,

How do I stop resenting my wife for all the things I gave up for her to have all that she wanted?

–Jim, Michigan

Watch this short video for our thoughts on this very interesting question…

Don’t forget. Click here to Give this Video 5 Stars on YouTube and Subscribe to Ask Dan And Jennifer so you’ll stay up to date with our latest videos.

Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts – leave a comment below.

All The Things I Gave Up…

We often choose to ‘give up’ certain things in our lives for the ones we love.

They don’t force us to give them up, and because of this, it’s not fair to blame our partners, or anyone else, for the decisions that we make or for the things that we choose to give up.

Making sacrifices for those we love is a very admirable thing to do, and most of us do it because we want what is best for our loved ones.

Of course ‘give up’ is an interesting, and often misleading, phrase to use when referring to something in a relationship.

What ‘give up’ really means is that we’ve chosen to do something (or to not do something) in order to make our partners happy rather than to make ourselves happy.

Then we try to blame them because we’re unhappy with our decisions!

Parents are particularly notorious for this one, often saying things like, "All the things I gave up for you, and this is how you repay me!"

We did not ask our parents to change their lives or to give up their dreams for us, and yet many parents somehow blame their children for their own misery.

How Silly Is That?

We all make decisions every day that determine how we live our lives and whether or not we pursue our dreams – whether or not we’re happy.

Happiness is a choice.

We are not victims of circumstance, though many of us would like to believe that we are. If we were victims of circumstance then we wouldn’t have to take responsibility for our own lives. How convenient…

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How to STOP Arguments and Fights from Killing Your Relationship (Video)

Dan and Jennifer — Mon, 04 Jun 2007 17:09:20 +0000

Endless fights, arguments, and snipes late into the night…

You’ve seen it time and time again. Everything is going great, you and your partner love each other dearly, and your relationship couldn’t be better. Then, it strikes without warning. Someone says something, the other responds, and it’s on!

What appears to be a simple misunderstanding escalates into an argument, a fight, and someone ends up sleeping on the couch. Worse yet, one of you starts throwing things, then storms out of the house. Remember the frustration, the anger, the resentment?

Remember how puffed up your ego got? "Yeah, so there!" OK, clearly that didn’t go as planned. And you can bet nobody gained anything from that exchange.

What happened? How did a simple question turn into a screaming match?

In your mind, the other person "just doesn’t get it". But here’s the problem – in their mind, YOU "just don’t get it".

And what’s even WORSE is having ANY kind of emotional discussion (read: argument) by phone or email. NEVER do that if you can avoid it.

So how can this possibly be resolved without endless fighting and eventually maybe even breaking up?

When a "discussion" escalates into an argument, all sense and reason seems to leave the building. At that point, it’s all EGO, and going downhill hard. Everybody is getting puffed up trying to one-up the other person by saying something just a little more hurtful in response to what they just heard last. A guaranteed path to achieving nothing useful.

Could you agree to disagree?

Imagine…