Hot Ideas For When It’s Cold Outside

• Mix up a hot drink and then cozy up with each other. Whether it’s hot chocolate or hot toddy, getting warm together doesn’t HAVE to involve sex! Start out with something simple like a drink to warm you up and snuggle up together by reading a book, playing a game, or beginning a project you’ve been putting off.
• Let it lead to sex. Studies show that during big storms people usually make love, make babies or fight. Starting by reconnecting with something simple (a book, a game, etc.), as I mentioned above, can lead to a more intimate conclusion. Take advantage of the fact that you don’t have anywhere to be! If you’re like most of us, this will likely be one of the few times when Mother Nature forces you to slow down and simplify! Make the most of your time indoors, since there’s nowhere else you could be, even if you wanted to. Instead of letting your obligations stress you out, let go of your responsibilities by having an affair with your own partner. I mention this technique in my book, Make up Don’t Break up, where I give couples tools for rekindling romance.
• Get outside. That’s right - it’s cold and snowy and you don’t have to go anywhere so why not relive the excitement that snowdays gave you as a kid?! These types of opportunities often bring out our inner child, so go with it, get playful and see where it leads. You may learn something new about your partner, discover something new you can do together (who doesn’t love making snowmen?), and if nothing else, have a good time goofing around together.
• Recreate the chemicals you experienced when you first fell in love. Take this opportunity to give a 30 second kiss and/or 20 second hug so you can fall back in love with your partner for Valentines Day during this snow-in.

I talk more about ways to fall in love and stay in love – no matter what the weather – in my book, Make Up Don’t Break Up!

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Sexual Benefits Of Aromatherapy

Aromatherapy has proven over decades to be a powerful way to stimulate parts of the brain that are related to sex and sensuality through our sense of smell. Aromatherapy is a great way to spice up your sex life if it is lacking, or simply enrich an already fantastic sex life. Many aromatherapy studies have shown that using scents can actually improve arousal and blood flow to both men’s and women’s genitals. While most scents increase blood flow to a man’s penis, only certain scents incrase blood flow to a woman’s vaginal area. Other scents were actually proven to turn a woman off, including the scents of barbeque and men’s cologne. In addition to the purely physical benefits of scents in the bedroom, scents that elevate the mood and make you feel good will also help stimulate your mind for sex. Many scents are proven to increase certain hormones in the body that are related to love and sex, making a man or woman feel more inclined to be more sensual and sexy in the bedroom.

Scents That Will Turn Your Partner On

The most powerful scents to use for a man are suprisingly lavender and pumpkin pie. These smells were shown to actually increase the blood flow to a man’s genitals up to 40% and put him in the mood for sex. If you want to really set the mood for your man, burn a few pumpkin pie or lavender candles for a few hours before making your move. Pumpkin pie is a great scent for warm, cozy winter sex and cuddling while lavender is a great spring and summer scent. A woman, however, will respond best to the smell of licorice. Licorice is a great scent to use in the bedroom because while it is the most potent scent for a woman’s arousal, it will also affect a man’s arousal in a positive way as well.

Essential Oils

For hundreds of years, aromatherapy has incorporated powerful essential oils during sex. Many varieties of essential oils are used in sensual massage oils and can help relax your partner and put them in a more sexual frame of mind when used in conjunction with a fantastic massage. The scents of rose, patchouli, ylang ylang and jasmine are all scents that are easy to find and extremely effective in setting a romantic and sensual mood for sex. While most essential oils are diluted when used in massage oils, undiluted essential oils can be used sparingly on a cotton ball or in a warming dish and set next to your bed to help diffuse the scent throughout the entire room. Aromatherapy is more powerful when used for a few minutes or hours prior to having sex to allow the body to respond to the scents that are being used.

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Vibrators

Instead of your traditional vibrator, try wearing some vibrating boy shorts all day to get you hot and ready for the big night! Put them on while your partner pleasures you in different ways, to increase y0ur orgasmic potential. Also, boy shorts with a larger sized remote control vibrator puts your pleasure in your partner’s hands! Give him total control over your body, even from another room. Wear them all day and let him surprise you with pleasure again and again.

Bondage

If you’re into bondage with a willing prisoner, splurge a little on some inexpensive japanese bondage rope or handcuffs specifically designed for the bedroom. Scarves work well too, but rope from the boat, car or garage just won’t do. You want something soft, stretchy and made for bondage to do the job. Japanese bondage rope is an easy to use, soft “rope” that actually tightens a little when you try to resist. Another great toy is an under the bed restraint – this restraint actually “threads” under your bed and provides you with soft, velcro cuffs at all four corners of the bed for each of your willing prisoner’s arms and legs.  The under the bed restraint also features adjustable straps that you can tighten or loosen at your discretion. Take some turns trying out your new toys and being prisoner and prison warden for a kinky Valentine’s night that you’ll never forget!

Kinky Valentine’s Day Treasure Chest

A great way to spice up your Valentine’s night with some fun new toys is to get a “grab bag” with lots of stuff inside. The Fetish Fantasy Series bondage gear box is like a treasure chest full of fun things to use on Valentine’s Day – and afterwards! A red, fuzzy, heart shaped paddle, velcro cuffs with heart chain links and warming massage oil are among the many suprises in this fun treasure chest. You and your partner will have a blast seeing what’s inside! Take your toys to a hotel for an even hotter Valentine’s night, or simply stay at home and lock the door. Just remember, Valentine’s Day is about trying something new and different to spice up your sex life. Keep an open mind and a great attitude!

Check out Sexy Valentine’s Day Ideas – Sexy Games For Couples and Sexy Valentine’s Day Ideas – Fun In The Tub for more great ideas on how to make this Valentine’s Day rock!

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• 1000 Questions For Couples – get to know your partner intimately with questions designed specifically for couples.
• A Better Way To Date – learn how to date the right way.
• 100 Bedroom Games For Couples – get your honey in the mood with a few fun and sexy games.
• 300 Creative Dates – make that 1st date on Valentine’s Day really count.
• 50 Secrets Of Blissful Relationships – learn the secrets that will make your relationship rock solid!
• 500 Lovemaking Tips And Secrets – learn how to be a bedroom rockstar before Valentine’s Day and rock your lover’s world!
• The Romantic’s Guide To Popping The Question – thinking about proposing on Valentine’s Day? Read this first!
• Lick By Lick: How To Go Down On A Woman And Have Her Begging For More – make her feel like a goddess by giving her the ultimate pleasure!
• Blow By Blow: The Complete Guide To Fellatio – rock his world with an ultra-special Valentine’s Day blowjob!

Get any one of these incredible e-books before Valentine’s Day and get 101 Unique Valentine’s Day Gift ideas absolutely free! No more worrying about what to get your significant other – now you can get them something creative, heartfelt and special! Your partner will never forget this Valentine’s Day!

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Trying New Ideas

Valentine’s Day is all about going outside your box. Doing something exciting or something outside the norm of your sexual routine will help make this V-Day one that you and your partner will remember forever! Use this opportunity to get a little crazy or kinky, wear something you wouldn’t normally wear or do something you wouldn’t normally do. A great “game” to play is using a “fantasy box.” You can use a plain box if you like, or decorate it in sexy lace and marabou, but whatever you do, the concept is the same. You and your partner will write several of your fantasies down on a piece of paper and on Valentine’s Day, pull a few out of the box. Sharing your fantasies this way will help you and your partner be more open to each other’s fantasies, as well as help keep you or your partner from being as embarrassed about sharing your fantasies if you were to confess them out loud.

Fun Games To Try

A great way to spice up your Valentine’s Day night is to paint each other’s bodies. Get creative with this one. Use fun, brightly colored edible body paint, or just finger paints from the store. Use chocolate sauce or caramel for something extra sweet. Have fun painting it on, and then lick or wash all the paint or sauce off sensually. A sexy card game is always in style, and will have you and your partner communicating about your sexual desires in no time. This is a great game to play if you and your partner have trouble talking to each other about sex and what you do or don’t like in bed. Another classic Valentine’s Day game is strip poker, and while the original version is great, some of the newer styles of strip poker are incredibly fun! Some versions of strip poker actually have colored chips that have ideas of fun and sexy activities on them, as opposed to simply removing your clothes. You have to bet what you’re willing to do!

Be Open And Ready For Anything

When planning a special night with your partner, whether it’s Valentine’s Day or any other night, your attitude is one of the most important things to consider. Having an open mind and being ready for some sexy, spur of the moment fun will help make your night special.

Be sure to read Sexy Valentine’s Day Idea: Fun In The Tub and Sexy Valentine’s Day Idea: Gettin’ Kinky for more great ideas to heat up your Valentine’s Day night!

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Question: I have a question seeing as its nearly February 14. I was going to get the girl I really like gifts, but I’m afraid to because she will know it’s me [we're both teenagers]. What should I do?

–YouTube Viewer

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Afraid Of Rejection

If you’re afraid of getting the girl (or guy) you like a gift for Valentine’s Day, it’s more likely that you are not so much afraid to get them a gift (and them knowing it is you who got them the gift) but you are afraid of rejection. Everyone is afraid of rejection, especially when it comes to dating, such as asking a girl or guy out. Here’s a sound piece of advice – don’t worry so much about rejection. Many times, when you get rejected, it has nothing to do with you. It’s not you who is being rejected. Most of the time, the girl or guy already has some things going on in their life that they are just too involved with at that time to be accepting of a gift or a date. For example, a girl may say “no” to a date because her puppy just died, or because she’s in a relationship, or because she’s a lesbian. Hey, you never know. More often than not, it has absolutely nothing to do with you as a person.

Don’t Regret What You Didn’t Do

If you hold out on yourself, and don’t ask out the girl you like or give her the special gifts you want to give, you’re going to be regretting it your entire life. Many people spend the rest of their lives wishing they did something they didn’t do, because they wonder how it would have turned out if they had done it. Don’t let life slide past you that way! Give her the gifts, say they’re from you, and tell her you like her. Do you really have all that much to lose? Even if you do get rejected, you can at least say that you took that step and weren’t afraid of making your feelings known. If you don’t do it, you’ll wonder for the rest of your life what it would have been like if you had.

Valentine’s Day is about showing the people you like or love that you care. Whether it’s your spouse, your girlfriend or boyfriend or simply someone you have a crush on, Valentine’s Day is the day to let it all come out. Don’t hold back! If you like them or love them, let them know. Let them know how special they are to you, and don’t be afraid to say that you enjoy having them in your life, even if it’s just your friend! Valentine’s Day is the best day of the year to let your feelings about someone be known. So go for it, take the risk and show someone that you care!

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Spend Valentine’s Day With Your Partner

Spending a lot of money on jewelry for your partner or buying an expensive gift is way – way – overrated. Valentine’s Day is about celebrating the fact that you and your partner are together and in love – so why throw money away on a gift just to say you did something for Valentine’s Day? Why not spend time with your partner and enjoy being together alone? Most couples don’t get a lot of alone time these days, especially if they have children together. Take some time out on Valentine’s Day to make love – and be in love!

Check In To Fun

Get away from the house for a night and check into a hotel, even if it’s just across the street from where you live. Different surroundings will definitely set the mood for a night of fun and romance. Just one thing the hotel must have? A Jacuzzi or a garden tub in the room. This Valentine’s Day you’re going to have fun in the tub – but not just any old tub and certainly not the tub you take showers in and bathe the kids in every day. How romantic is stepping on a wet Barbie doll while you’re trying to get it on?

Set the ambiance in the hotel by purchasing some nice smelling bath additive that is safe for hot tubs, light some candles (or use safer LED candles) and bring strawberries and champagne. Or cheeses and champagne. Or a decadent dessert and champagne. Get the picture? Bring champagne. Just make sure that whatever you bring to eat isn’t going to sit heavy on the stomach and make you want to nap instead of play. Also, bring something to do. Cards for strip poker, a sexy movie to watch or anything that sparks your interest. You don’t want to get through the door, put your bags down and say, “Okay, are you ready to have tub sex now?” Make it more interesting than that.

Foreplay In The Tub

Make sure that you’re also well prepared for having fun in the tub. Waterproof vibrators are always fun, especially if this fabulous Valentine’s Day occasion will be their maiden voyage. Sexy bathtub games are fun too and are great at keeping things from getting boring too quickly. There are a wide variety of fun, sexy toys that can be used in – and out – of the bathtub to make this Valentine’s Day a great one. Being prepared with fun things to do in the tub and lots of sexy foreplay ideas will help make the night memorable instead of quick and dirty. Remember, it’s all about having a great time and enjoying being with your partner!

Be sure to read Sexy Valentine’s Day Ideas: Sexy Games For Couples and Sexy Valentine’s Day Ideas: Gettin’ Kinky for more great ideas on how to heat up your Valentine’s Day night!

Use Offer Code: DanJenn at AdamAndEve.com and here’s what you’ll get…

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The secret to breaking free of preoccupation with the stuff of life is simple and direct. It lies in the nature of who you are as a man and a woman.

Talking Sexy

If your husband is the one who is preoccupied, find moments to talk sexy. Find double entendres in his speech and get the pair of you giggling. Without needing anything from him in return, admire something about him that you find sexy. It could be the sound of his voice, the way he rests his weight on one leg while resting his hands on his hips when he’s standing around waiting for someone, the hair around his temples graying, or the way he handled a difficult situation. Whatever you can admire about your man, do it without a need for attention. In a relaxed atmosphere, your sexy talk and admiration will soften the cloud of preoccupation hovering around him. He’ll rest his handsome eyes on you, take you in, and allow the chemistry between you to percolate.

Talking Her Up

If your wife is the one who is preoccupied, find genuine ways to compliment her. If her hair is especially pretty or her outfit is particularly becoming, tell her so. If she has just cooked a delicious meal, really pour on the praise and do one more thing. Insist on either cleaning up after supper or insist on helping. Even if she is an “I’ve gotta do it my way so don’t get in my way” kind of woman and can actually be irritated by an extra pair of helping hands, then just clear the table for her. Or find her favorite music or something on television she’s keen on to keep her company while she works.

One of the nicest ways to compliment any woman is to notice the things she does to keep the household running smoothly, tell her you appreciate it, and offer to do some of those things so that she can have time to herself to relax. Particularly when she is preoccupied with fresh demands on her, perhaps a good friend is having surgery, for example; you can anticipate some of the stuff she usually takes care of and tell her you will handle it.

Talking Magic

You probably noticed that I suggest you do two completely different things depending on the sex of the person who is preoccupied. That is purposeful, so let me explain. When your spouse is preoccupied while you pine for his or her attention, the best way to get that attention is to get inside his or her head.

Most men are crazy about sex. A woman who can tease and cajole about sexy topics gets her man in touch with the thing that connects him to his heart, sex. That kind of gentle love talk can persuade him to relax and take notice of her like a magic spell. Most women feel as though they give too much. When her man appreciates everything she does, continues to find her attractive, and is proactive about lending a helping hand, he hands her an aphrodisiac that works, again, like magic.

So break through the preoccupation with the stuff of life by putting attention on the things that will speak care, concern, and interest to your spouse the most. While the “stuff” may continue to need his or her attention, you can get a little loving attention for yourself to tide you over till life is normal again.

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Keeping Romance Alive With The Platinum Rule

Fewer people have heard of the Platinum Rule, which says “Do unto others as they want you to do unto them.”  Following the Platinum Rule is a much better way to keep romance alive in your relationship, but for most men, simply following the rule is the easy part.  Finding out exactly what a woman wants can be a difficult thing for men to do, especially since every person’s desires evolve over the course of a relationship.  Applying the Platinum Rule to your relationship can dramatically improve your satisfaction, but it also requires consistent attention to identify her desires.

The most obvious way to find out how she wants to be treated romantically is by asking her.  While we promote good old-fashioned romance on our website, and we will always believe that it will lead to more happiness in most relationships, we also realize that there are some women who might not like the type of gallant attention that it calls for.  Some women simply don’t like classically romantic overtures, and measuring her reaction when you bring up topics of amour can give you a clue to what kind of a partner she really wants.

Being Empathetic To Satisfy Your Partner

In some cases, the best way to find out how she wants to be treated is through good old empathy.  Your wife or girlfriend might not be able to really tell you what she thinks about romance, but you should know her well enough to put yourself in her shoes for a while.  Does romantic behavior embarrass or intimidate her, or does she light up at small loving gestures and actions?  Will it take some consistent effort to get her used to being romantic, or is she more comfortable with you treating each other as peers and friends?  Old-fashioned romance can seem outdated and schmaltzy to some women nowadays, and there’s nothing wrong with that opinion.

Using the Platinum Rule and treating her as she wants to be treated will inevitably lead to more romance and satisfaction in your relationship, even if you discover she isn’t as interested in overt physical affection on a regular basis. 

View Obstacles As Positive Challenges

There’s no single formula for successful couples, and what works for you will have a lot to do with your partner’s unique personality and the dynamics of your relationship.  Just remember one important rule of thumb: if her romantic desires don’t mesh perfectly with yours, look at it as a challenge, not a hindrance.

Perhaps most importantly, using the Platinum Rule in your relationship will likely lead to a great return on your investment.  Once she sees how dedicated you are to treating her as she wants to be treated, she will be much more likely to take the time to do the same for you, as well.

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Playful Passion

Number one for me is that I want to feel passionate with my man. I want to feel like there is always a fire burnin’ for one another. I want to keep the spice alive!! I love it when my guy and I are flirty together and keep that ‘secret connection’ in the forefront, like stealing those mini make out sessions whenever the opportunity presents itself. It’s vital to a relationship to take advantage of those times – those moments when you can still be playful together. The key however, is having the desire and mindset to be actively flirty and fun with your partner. It’s easy to let life distract you. Bills, chores, work, kids – the lazy route is to have these things interfere. The participative route (which is a whole lot more fun and rewarding) is to WANT to keep the special moments going. Women crave this kind of connection from their men. The guy who will slide up behind her while she’s working in the kitchen – even a passing ‘goose’ to say “how YOU doin??”

Foreplay First

For the women out there who want sex (and who doesn’t!?!) the consensus seems to be that they want some good quality foreplay. Guys who show they CARE about how you respond to their actions. Guys who take their time and WANT to turn their woman on (on a side note, guys should expect the same in return – a girl who merely ‘gives it up’ doesn’t cut it for a guy’s excitement level either). Some guys can get lost in the ultimate goal of ‘getting her off’ and lose sight of the passion in attaining that outcome. Sex shouldn’t be a chore between a couple in any way, both people should equally enjoy the physical involvement. Sex is the one thing that bonds you above and beyond all other relationships – make it feel that way – make it a priority. Women want to feel sexy, loved and that you care about what excites them in the bedroom.

Cunning Compliments

Along with that point is that women want to feel like their man is attracted to them. They want to feel beautiful. Most women have an inner conversation that pin points their flaws and physical insecurities. I’d be hard pressed to find a woman who doesn’t mentally criticize her cellulite or weight or breast size…you name it, we self scrutinize it! Men are not always aware of the internal self doubt that a lot of women have. We count on our men to remind us of how beautiful we are. Every woman desires to hear that. A woman wants to feel like no matter where she is, the man she is with looks at her as the most beautiful woman in the room. Men may be surprised at the realization that the odd compliment can boost us so high. I’m guilty for looking to my man for approval, always wanting to look my best for him – I’m not one to take his attraction for granted. A woman who feels good, also feels good to be around fellas!

Love and Loyalty

An important factor to a lot of women (and men) is commitment and loyalty. Anyone in a good relationship values the commitment of their partner. Feeling safe and secure in their bond and not having to question their partner’s actions. Knowing that their partner chooses to be with them and is devoted to the relationship. I believe that the commitment level that you are willing to give should be equal to that of what your partner is willing to give as well. Feeling like your man would do anything for you and has completely given of himself to you, and vice versa. A woman desires for her man to show he is proud to be with her and has no problem indicating his belief in the commitment he has to her. A woman longs to be her man’s one and only.

Ultimately both sexes want to be with a partner who ‘betters’ their life. Who is supportive through the rough times and helps to create the good times. Someone you can laugh with, someone you enjoy spending time with. The one person above all others you would choose to be around no matter what it is that you are doing. The person in your life who you want by your side. If you really think about what you want – I am certain the qualities I have mentioned here will be the ones that count the most, even above any physical or social attributes. Passion, supportiveness, devotion and commitment, the person you’d be missing if they weren’t in your life. Someone who puts your feelings above all else. Someone who makes you happy.

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Men show their love for their women differently than women show their love for men. If we women could really grasp this fact, relationships all over the world would improve.

How Women Love

Women show men they love them in warm, mushy ways. We talk to our men, we share everything, and we provide nurture and support. We want to be romanced because romantic touches are how we say, “I love you.” Men are very different and we know this already. The problem is we have spent centuries judging them for it instead of receiving it as the display of love it is. So when our new man gets past the courting phase, becomes solidly committed to us, and the romance begins to fade, we join the legion of sisters who complain about how he just doesn’t measure up to our ideal of what a real man is and how a real man loves.

Let me tell you, at this point the relationship is doomed and it ain’t his fault! Complements of Steve Harvey, let me share how a real man loves and see if you can’t begin to look at your fellow through a kinder lens and a heart warmed by just how very much he actually does let you know he loves you.

How A Man’s Love Is Different

There are three ways a man clearly and definitively shows his love and affection for his lady. The first thing a real man does when he knows he loves you and is ready to commit to the relationship is he professes who you are in his life. He calls you “his lady,” “girlfriend,” or “romantic partner.” He calls you by a special name with his words and with his body language. You can see it in the eyes of the folks in his world you are introduced to. You see that spark of recognition that this one (you) is different from the other women he has introduced to them. His claim on you is obvious.

Once he is ready to take the relationship to the next level, he may no longer be interested in midnight conversations that go on for hours. He doesn’t want to be treated like your best girlfriend. The profession he makes about you is significant for him and, if you are aware of its meaning, it can be significant for you too. In fact, it can be a big turn on.

The second thing a real man does when he knows he loves you and is ready to commit to the relationship is he provides for you. Now, not every man has the means to buy you expensive things, but to the degree he is able, he will provide for you. One of the examples Steve uses is if you have car trouble and ask him for help, he will do everything within his power to assist you in getting it fixed. One man might be able to afford to replace the car while another gets his cousin who is a car mechanic to fix it. Either way, the man is in love and providing. Every single weekend might not produce a romantic outing, but in any way he sees he can physically provide for you and is able, he will.

So, for instance, one year my husband provided me with a big, fancy digital camera and a printer to print the photographs I would take. He knew I was wary of making the switch from film to digital. He knew I needed to be provided with a really good camera and what is essentially a dark room to make the switch as convenient and delightful as possible. With these gifts he provided for me the means to enlarge my life and my creative expression. It was a deeply romantic gesture.

Accepting His Own Displays Of Love And Affection

The third thing a real man does when he is head over heals in love is he protects his woman. No one is allowed to hurt, insult, or disrespect her. He will not be able to tolerate her life or her spirit being in danger.

In my own experience, I have observed two important things about a man’s desire to protect his woman. The first is he will attempt to protect her from herself. This is why a man can become infuriated with some of the choices his woman makes because, as a man with his logical thinking, he could have told her this or that choice would be a mistake. How could she have put the woman he loves most in the whole world (herself) in harm’s way?

The other thing I have observed is that a real man in love will sacrifice himself to protect you from himself, if you require it. If you cannot abide him being who he is, expressing himself as a man, he will shrink inside, becoming less effective as a lover and as a partner as he attempts to protect you from him. This will not last indefinitely. Finally, the pressure to express himself as a man will rupture and you will lose him. If you find you are no longer invested in exploring the marvelous mystery he is, you might take a look at whether or not you really love him. Because asking him to stifle his masculinity is the beginning of the end.

Whether you are looking for Mr. Right, have found him, or are afraid you are losing him, knowing how a man shows his love to his woman gives you valuable information for figuring out where he is coming from and where he is going. It can also open the floodgates of gratitude and passionate love making as you learn to quit castigating him and instead appreciate his unique expressions of love!

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What To Do When She’s Been Burned

The primary thing to consider is that no matter how badly you want to know, the story behind her heartbreak should be left alone. However, building her life back and possibly sharing a future with you are definitely things that concern you. Tread carefully. Be as unobtrusive as possible, but always be within her reach just in case she feels like talking. It is possible to keep a person company from afar, particularly if you have already told her that you’re just there if she needs you.

When you finally get her to open up, this is your chance to show her that you are way better than her ex.

Of course, you cannot promise a bed of roses, but there are certainly some things that you can do to prove to her that you, as a man, operate on a higher level than the guy who broke her heart.

1. Love Her Back

This seems like a daunting feat for those who don’t know how. Return her calls, be emotionally available, and tell her that while you may be busy most of the time, she is always in your thoughts. Basically, not taking a woman for granted is the best way to win her over. Ask her opinion about where to go and what to do during your date. Staying open and extremely considerate is very important, particularly during the time when she’s still learning to trust you.

2. Be a Gentleman

You know those simple things like opening the door for her or pulling the chair? Those gestures are not lost on her. Of course, you have to be consistent and make these gallant gestures a habit. Doing these only during your initial dates will make her think that the gestures are a put on.

3. Make Her Orgasm During Sex

No amount of gallantry, gift-giving and mushy loving could make her consider you as a constant in her life if she discovers that you are not sexually compatible. The ability to give her the time of her life in bed will catapult you from “boyfriend material” to “The One”. If she has told you that she thinks “sex is overrated” more than a couple of times, there’s a big chance that she has never experienced an orgasm in the past.

Even if she did experience sensational sex with her ex, your knowledge of how to make her orgasm will stack nicely with the fact that you are the most gallant, most considerate guy she has ever met; and this will erase all notions of her past loves.

Take just a minute to check out ‘The Female Orgasm Black Book’: “How To Give Her Mind Numbing, Leg Shaking Orgasms”

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Maybe you’re alone by choice but not really sure if you want to remain that way. There are plenty of choices of where to go from here, but the tough part is making the one that’s right for you.

If you’ve been out of dating a number of years, you may find the dating scene has changed considerably.

I hadn’t dated for 25 when I stumbled back in. I experienced a wide array of emotions; shock, dismay, impatience, annoyance and even moments of wonder.

Some Pointers That May Save You Time and Pain

Learn to recognize those who are “takers” – those who want a physical relationship and nothing more. If you’re also looking for a noncommittal relationship, this may work for you. However, be aware that once intimacy enters a relationship, the rules change. Many times it leaves the door open for attachment and ultimately, unfulfilled expectations if one party leaves.

Unsafe and Unprotected Sex

We tell our children to use condoms and practice safe sex. We owe ourselves the same. Educate yourself on sexually transmitted diseases and how to avoid them.

A Free Meal is Only a Free Meal If…

If you are treated, there’s no obligation other than a gracious thank you. If you don’t feel a connection with someone, offer to pay for your portion of the check.

Abusive Relationships

No one deserves to be in an abusive relationship, whether verbal, mental or physical. Walk away. Don’t hold false hope that things will get better.

Smooth Talkers

We all know at least one, don’t we? They’ve had a lot of practice to talk their way through just about anything and anyone. Do I need to say more?

Needy Relationships

Everyone likes to feel needed from time to time, but if you’re in a relationship where you’re constantly bailing someone out, save yourself the stress and your wallet.

Emotionally Unavailable Individuals (Surface Daters)

They talk a good game, but can’t deliver any lasting commitment or anything beyond the immediate moment. They have a difficult time offering support in any substantial way, show no real caring in you as an individual, nor do they exhibit a real interest in sticking around.

These relationships (for want of a better word) start fast and fizzle shortly thereafter.

Clinging and unwarranted jealously might feel empowering at first, but be cautious about being sucked into a relationship based on this type of need. Do you seriously want to be in a relationship where your every move is questioned and up for inspection?

Dating Can Do a Number on Your Self-Confidence

In today’s world dating can take a hard shot at your self-confidence. You begin to wonder if the right person will ever come along. You’ve done your best to be proactive. Everyone says you’re intelligent, attractive… and yet you’re still batting zero on the dating scene. Is it you or is it everyone else? It may be a combination of both.

As a widow of almost five years, I’ve found what worked best for me was pursuing my own interests. Involve yourself in activities and work that stimulates you, instead of placing that burden on a prospective partner. When you feel more whole as an individual, you might just find that perfect someone popping up into your life when you least expect it.

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One of the most successful ways to hit it off with someone on a first date is using a technique called “mirroring.”

Mirroring is a technique that you can use to help your date feel comfortable with you almost instantly so you can focus on getting to know them.

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What is mirroring?

Mirroring is actually something that good friends and couples do naturally. For example, if you’re at dinner with a friend and they lean further towards the table, you might unconsciously do the same.

If you’re sitting in a theater watching a movie and you cross your legs, your boyfriend or husband might cross his legs too. When you’re comfortable with someone, you will naturally mirror their body language and movements and they’ll naturally mirror yours.

How can you use mirroring to your advantage on a first date?

Naturally, you’re not going to instantly and unconsciously mirror someone on a first date and it’s unlikely that they’ll mirror you. This could be a reason why first dates are often so awkward! However, you can use your understanding of the mirroring technique to make the first date jitters a little easier to handle and help make your date feel more comfortable with you.

When you’re on a first date, pay special attention to your date’s body language. You want to try to mirror them in a way that looks unconscious by you, like natural mirroring, without looking strange or suspicious.

This might take a few tries to really get down pat, so it’s helpful if you try to practice your mirroring technique with friends first. They can give you input on how your mirroring looks to someone besides yourself.

Using mirroring from now on

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I have a different view of what’s romantic and I suspect any woman in a relationship for any length of time would agree. Of course, flowers, dinners, vacations and jewelry are lovely but they don’t necessarily speak to women’s three most primary needs in a relationship as described in John Gray’s Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.

Having worked with John for many years and having become intimately knowledgeable with the Mars Venus concepts by virtue of my job, I had several aha! moments when I learned what they the three primary love needs were for a woman.

I am in total agreement with John Gray that women need most to be cared about, understood and respected. He suggests that "when a man responds to a woman in a way that acknowledges and prioritizes her rights, wishes and needs, she feels respected".

A man can not care, not try to understand and not respect a woman at all, and still buy flowers and think that’s romantic. It won’t cut it, guys. So, following are 10 romantic tips in no particular order of importance that will make any woman happy and show her that you care, that you try to understand her and that you acknowledge and make important her rights, wishes and needs.

Remember to do the things you promised to do – without being reminded.

When my husband remembers that he promised to fix the blinds on the weekend and goes to Home Depot to buy what he needs, comes home and fixes the blinds just as he said, I feel this as an expression of love and caring. He knows that I like the house to look nice and things to work; I feel he understands and respects my desire to have it so.

Surprise her with something you know she wants – big or small.

This is such a big deal to me that I still remember when my ex-husband came home from work one day when I was pregnant with my first child 42 years ago with a balsa wood model airplane because I had said sometime in the past that I never had one.

I remember it as perhaps the sweetest, most romantic thing he ever did for me in the 19 years we were together. He occasionally brought me flowers but it didn’t make up for all his bad, uncaring, disrespectful behavior during the relationship.

Care about how she dresses.

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But no one’s sex life is perfect. Things slow down, the energy seems to disappear, it’s not as fun or exciting as either of you would like, in short, it needs improving.

So what can you do to get back (or even create for the first time) that special spark that makes great sex so…well, great? Here are 4 top tips.

1. Play Games

The thing that often grinds sex lives to a halt and makes lovemaking become so much of a hassle is the pressure and responsibility that surrounds the whole subject.

For the man, there’s the burden of having to make the girl reach her own climax. For the woman, there’s the strain of making sure her man is sexually satisfied and not bored and liable to go looking elsewhere for sex or questioning the stability and longevity of the relationship they’re both in.

To counteract these negative pressures, try making having sex a less traditional, scheduled, boring task. Instead, pick a couple of fun games that you can play together that are fun and flirty and that can lead casually and smoothly into the actual sex.

Twister, strip poker and spin-the-bottle are all great games that incorporate physical contact and allow both you and your partner to have a little no-hassle, no-responsibility fun that does or doesn’t have to lead to a bout of impromptu lovemaking.

2. New Locations, New Positions

People often have a very 2-dimensional outlook on the nature of sex and how one should go about having it. The vast, vast majority of people, for example, only have sex in the bedroom.

And even they have a set routine, lights dimmed or off, the same progression through the various stages of sex: a little foreplay, intercourse in missionary and maybe doggy if the guy’s lucky and the girls feeling up to it, then it’s pretty much over. Even if your personal situation has more life than that, sex in the bedroom can still become a drag after a while.

So, switch it up. Think about different locations you can use: the living room, bathroom, kitchen…consider all possibilities, even if they at first seem far-fetched and silly. Also, think about locations away from the home once in a while.

Motels and cheap hotels offer a couple a fresh place to explore each other. Secondly, improvise and experiment with the positions you use. Missionary, girl on top, spoons, and doggy are all great, but always try to mix in a few more unusual, adventurous ones to spice things up.

Even if you find yourself in a tangle with your partner, you’ve still had fun and been spontaneous, which is a key component of any great sex life.

3. Communicate Fantasies

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This article should make sex a real no-brainer for you from here on thanks to these ten things that women admit to wanting even if they don’t necessarily admit it to you!

Before Sex She Wants You To…

1. Kiss Her

It seems that kissing has become a bit of a lost art in this day and age and this is especially the case when a couple has been together for a long time. Spend a few minutes just kissing (a.k.a. making out) the way you did when you were a teenager. You’d be surprised at how hot kissing can really be!

2. Indulge in Some Foreplay

Women need a little more than guys do in order to get really turned in and primed for action. By treating them to more foreplay, not only do you increase their chances of an orgasm, but you’re also setting yourself up for some very hot sex to follow!

3. Be Romantic

This should come as no shocker to anyone as it has been a problem since the beginning of man! While women enjoy a hard sexy throw down on occasion, they still want to be pampered and romanced a little.

Take some time to light a candle or two or just say something romantic. It doesn’t take a bed sprinkled with rose petals to make a woman happy-though that would be great too.

During  Sex She Wants You To…

4. Look Into Her Eyes

You can’t even begin to imagine how incredibly arousing it can be to keep your eyes focused on each other during sex.

It creates an intimacy like nothing else which most women crave from their partners and it can really help you get in tune with each other so you’re better able to know what feels good to them and what could use a little work; all without having to say a word.

5. Be A Little Rough

Yes, women want romance and tenderness, but most often before sex. During sex a woman wants to feel the passion and the urgency that comes from being wanted and desired.

Men are often afraid to be too rough, but the truth is that many women want to be handled a little harder during sex. Note: Tip #5 is a great one to help gauge just how rough you should be with her.

6. Not Forget Her Clitoris

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That quote speaks to every man and every woman in every place and time!  The worlds’ greatest love stories, from the brilliantly successful ones to the dismally tragic ones, come down to the yearning to love and be loved in return. 

Loving and Being Loved

In every love story, there is a quality to the relationship that is defined by how each person deals with his or her own yearning to love and be loved.

Some of us have a stronger desire to love than to be loved.  We pour ourselves out on everyone we love with abandon.  We are supportive and nurturing, even if we risk suffocating the object of our affection.  We may pour out our love in bold, brash, even bullying ways. 

I am thinking of men who only need a hint that something is wrong and then swoop in to fix the problem, their loved one, and the people involved!  This also brings to mind women who turn into protective mother bears when their loved ones (cubs) are threatened. 

Others who are more committed to loving than being loved show their support and nurture by being submissive, following their lover wherever he or she leads.  Even if it is to a dark place, the supportive, nurturing, I-am-totally-there-for-you individual loves the risk of loving no matter the cost.

A Stronger Desire to be Loved

Then there are those of us with a stronger desire to be loved.  As supportive as I think I am, sometimes my desire to be loved by my husband is so strong I embarrass myself!  When he is preoccupied with something, with steely focus accomplishing something, if I interrupt and thereby incur even a slight dismissal, the pout that forms on my lips is telling! 

In an instant, it is all about me and my needs and desires. If I were truly one of those supportive types, wouldn’t I have seen and appreciated his preoccupation with whatever he was accomplishing?

Managing my desire to be loved and choosing to sometimes follow my yearning to love, as a priority over my yearning to be loved, is simple enough.  It can be heartbreaking to watch someone completely sabotage their relationship because nothing can satisfy the hunger for proof that their lover loves them beyond all others!

Sabotaging the Relationship

Of course, the supportive, nurturing lovers can sabotage their relationships too.  Smothering love can snuff out love, shocking the supportive individual with the level of resentment the recipient of their love feels towards them and all their loving attention!

Yet, the “yearning to love and be loved is at the heart of who we are.”  At some point in your life, I hope you were your mother’s and father’s beloved infant.  Mothers and fathers do their best.  Sometimes their best is brilliant, sometimes it is good enough, and other times it is barely adequate. 

Relationship With Caregivers

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Someone who was a stranger is now in your life 24/7 and crazy about you!  Suddenly, parts of your life that were private are now on display to the one you love but with whom love hasn’t been tested. 

For instance, putting potato chips on your sandwich in front of him or her makes you feel awkward with the intimacy of the exposure of a funny, little detail of your life!  The first time you get naked together makes you tingle all over from the vulnerability.  Intimacy that is the result of love at first glance is easy. 

It is when we have been in love for a while that we need to turn our attention once again to intimacy.  We can create the kind of intimacy that will set our souls aflame!  Following are five tips for creating soulful intimacy.

Speak and listen in a new way

Men and women communicate differently.  Men like to get right to the point; therefore, they only have so much time and attention when it comes to listening.  They want you to get to the point!  Women, on the other hand, like to share nuances of insights and feelings when they communicate.  Getting to the point for a woman might take several meandering twists and turns first. 

One way to create soulful intimacy is to speak and listen in such a way that your partner feels seen and heard.  When a woman gets right to the point, her man hears her in a completely new way, which is gratifying for both of them!  When she listens with focused attention, he feels heard and appreciates this. 

When he listens to her meandering thoughts and expressed feelings, she feels cherished.  When he takes the risk to speak of his feelings, philosophy, and personal experience, she feels honored.

Without trying to morph into the opposite sex’s viewpoint, just every once in a while speak and listen the way he or she does.  As simple as it sounds, doing so will make you feel you are taking one of those risks that makes you feel the kind of vulnerability that creates a fresh spurt of intimacy in the air between you. 

Get imaginative with touch

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1. Make Time For Your Relationship

Time and time again, people tell me my ideas are wonderful, but they feel they can’t be as loving or romantic as I am because they don’t have enough hours in the day.

I have the same amount of time given to me each day as everyone else does. It’s how I prioritize the time that might be different. Besides my relationship with my Creator, my time spent with Athena is most important to me.

More important than my job. More important than the money I make. More important than exercise. More important than my friends or other family members. And yes, even more important than Ashton, my darling little son.

I am not against nice items for those who can afford them and don’t have to work insane hours to attain them. But I am slightly perplexed by those who work too many hours or have a long daily commute just so they can have "things," not realizing they are losing something that is even more valuable and precious.

2. Share Secrets Together

I’ve got a secret and I’m not sharing. Actually, I have a lot of secrets. There are a lot of things that are only known to Athena and me that keeps us close.

I like it when Athena shares things with me that she doesn’t share with others. It makes me feel special and unique in her eyes. I tell her things that I don’t tell my friends or family. It’s not like these are horrible things we have done that we can’t tell others. I just want Athena to feel like she knows me better than anyone else.

Make your sweetheart feel special. Always share important things with them first. Let some things remain a secret between the two of you for a little while before letting the rest of the world know all about your personal life.

3. Have Date Nights

Without special time together, relationships can pull apart or simply become stale. But you can’t simply replace doing nothing with doing the exact same thing week after week. The oh-so-predictable dinner and a movie can be all right if mixed up with some other types of dates.

Here are a few suggestions: Bookstore, library, museum, zoo or park date, or together collect clothes for a shelter.

4. Spice Up Your Love Life

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