One of the most successful ways to hit it off with someone on a first date is using a technique called “mirroring.”

Mirroring is a technique that you can use to help your date feel comfortable with you almost instantly so you can focus on getting to know them.

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What is mirroring?

Mirroring is actually something that good friends and couples do naturally. For example, if you’re at dinner with a friend and they lean further towards the table, you might unconsciously do the same.

If you’re sitting in a theater watching a movie and you cross your legs, your boyfriend or husband might cross his legs too. When you’re comfortable with someone, you will naturally mirror their body language and movements and they’ll naturally mirror yours.

How can you use mirroring to your advantage on a first date?

Naturally, you’re not going to instantly and unconsciously mirror someone on a first date and it’s unlikely that they’ll mirror you. This could be a reason why first dates are often so awkward! However, you can use your understanding of the mirroring technique to make the first date jitters a little easier to handle and help make your date feel more comfortable with you.

When you’re on a first date, pay special attention to your date’s body language. You want to try to mirror them in a way that looks unconscious by you, like natural mirroring, without looking strange or suspicious.

This might take a few tries to really get down pat, so it’s helpful if you try to practice your mirroring technique with friends first. They can give you input on how your mirroring looks to someone besides yourself.

Using mirroring from now on

…

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4. How Can I Tell If My Date Really Likes Me? (Video)
5. 6 Simple Ways To Let Your Date Know You’re Interested

I have a different view of what’s romantic and I suspect any woman in a relationship for any length of time would agree. Of course, flowers, dinners, vacations and jewelry are lovely but they don’t necessarily speak to women’s three most primary needs in a relationship as described in John Gray’s Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.

Having worked with John for many years and having become intimately knowledgeable with the Mars Venus concepts by virtue of my job, I had several aha! moments when I learned what they the three primary love needs were for a woman.

I am in total agreement with John Gray that women need most to be cared about, understood and respected. He suggests that "when a man responds to a woman in a way that acknowledges and prioritizes her rights, wishes and needs, she feels respected".

A man can not care, not try to understand and not respect a woman at all, and still buy flowers and think that’s romantic. It won’t cut it, guys. So, following are 10 romantic tips in no particular order of importance that will make any woman happy and show her that you care, that you try to understand her and that you acknowledge and make important her rights, wishes and needs.

Remember to do the things you promised to do – without being reminded.

When my husband remembers that he promised to fix the blinds on the weekend and goes to Home Depot to buy what he needs, comes home and fixes the blinds just as he said, I feel this as an expression of love and caring. He knows that I like the house to look nice and things to work; I feel he understands and respects my desire to have it so.

Surprise her with something you know she wants – big or small.

This is such a big deal to me that I still remember when my ex-husband came home from work one day when I was pregnant with my first child 42 years ago with a balsa wood model airplane because I had said sometime in the past that I never had one.

I remember it as perhaps the sweetest, most romantic thing he ever did for me in the 19 years we were together. He occasionally brought me flowers but it didn’t make up for all his bad, uncaring, disrespectful behavior during the relationship.

Care about how she dresses.

…

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But what if it starts growing into more than just sex with friends – or friends with benefits?

What if your husband or wife starts developing romantic (a.k.a. love) feelings for your playmates?

Dare we call it polyamory?
 

"Polyamory is the practice of having more than one loving relationship at the same time, with the full knowledge and consent of all partners involved. The relationships are long-term, intimate, and usually (but not necessarily) sexual. Persons who consider themselves emotionally suited to such relationships may define themselves as polyamorous, often abbreviated to poly."
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyamory

"Swinging, sometimes referred to in North America as the swinging lifestyle, is non-monogamous sexual activity, treated much like any other social activity, that can be experienced as a couple.  Swinging has been called wife swapping in the past, but this term is archaic and does not accurately describe the full range of sexual activities in which swingers may take part."

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Swinging

And what happens when the jealousy beast rears it’s ugly head. Admittedly swingers (and certainly those into polyamory) are not nearly as apt to fits of jealousy as some monogamous couples, but it’s been known to happen…

What happens when one partner wants a polyamorous relationship and the other one doesn’t? Is it wrong to want one without the other?

No, it’s absolutely not wrong. What you want is what you want. What you feel and what you want is what’s right for you and for your life. Period.

The swinging lifestyle is typically about sex!

You get together, you play, and then you go home. That’s kind of what it’s about. But Polyamory takes it to a new level and, what I would consider, a much more enlightened level where you are actually in love relationships with multiple partners. It’s a true and total sharing of one another and not many couples (or individuals) are able to do that.

It all comes down to communication.

It’s critical to ask your partner how they feel and to share your feelings. The absolute worst thing that you can do is to hold your feelings inside – what you really want – because you’re afraid your partner may not understand. You have to talk about what you both want from the relationship and what boundaries you’re comfortable with. And in some circumstances, you may find out that you want different things. If this is the case, you’ll have to decide if you are willing to compromise or go your separate ways. 

Jealousy

The biggest reason why many people feel uncomfortable in a Swinging or Polyamorous relationship is "jealousy". It’s one of the biggest emotional issues that all couples face. And when you start bringing other people into your bedroom, you simply cannot let jealousy sneak into the picture because it will tear your relationship apart.

So you have to find ways to make each other feel really special and absolutely certain about where you stand in your own relationship before sharing intimate fun with others.

That’s the biggest thing in the end. Talk! Share your feelings!

Oh, and if you think swinging or polyamory are a rare occurrence in our society, think again!

Check out this survey that over 4,000 of our readers took – Sex Poll: Would You Consider Swinging or Polyamory? The results will certainly surprise you. 

Related articles:

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4. Swinger Swap Gone Wrong! Can We Recover? (Video)
5. My Best Friend’s a Swinger – Will She Burn in Hell?

But what if it starts growing into more than just sex with friends – or friends with benefits? What if your husband or wife starts developing romantic (a.k.a. love) feelings for your playmates? Dare we call it polyamory?

And what happens when the jealousy beast rears it’s ugly head. Admittedly swingers (and certainly those into polyamory) are not nearly as apt to fits of jealousy as some monogamous couples, but it’s been known to happen. As with the couple asking the question for today’s video below.

Oh, and if you think swinging or polyamory are a rare occurrence in our society, think again! Check out this survey that over 4,000 of our readers took – Sex Poll: Would You Consider Swinging or Polyamory? The results will certainly surprise you.

So is it REALLY possible to have swinging without polyamory, and vice versa? Is it REALLY?

Watch this short video to find out…

Don’t forget to go to YouTube and rate the video and subscribe to our channel.

Then, be sure to chime in and tell us your thoughts – leave a comment below.

Check out these resources we recommend to help you find the right swinger and threesome partners fast:

1. Download this great guide to fulfilling your threesome fantasies, as revealed by a bisexual woman. She and her husband have been enjoying the threesome scene for years and share their secrets.
2. Check out the largest swinger and sex personals dating site and find sex partners in your area today. They have millions of active members online, and 30,000 new photos uploaded daily.

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2. Shocking Sex Poll Results – The Surprising Verdict on Swinging and Polyamory!
3. Sex Poll: Would You Consider Swinging or Threesomes?
4. My Best Friend’s a Swinger – Will She Burn in Hell?
5. Swinger Danger! What To Do When Swinging Goes Wrong? (Video)

My partner and I have been together for 2 years and we have been living together for about 4 months. Now that we are living together, we rarely have sex. We are becoming more like best friends and I’m scared the passion is fading.

Watch this short video to find out how you can spice up your sex life and bring back that spark you had in the beginning…

Don’t forget to go to YouTube and rate the video and subscribe to our channel.

Then, be sure to tell us your thoughts - leave a comment below.

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5. Is He Really Over His Ex-Girlfriend? How Do I Know for Sure?

Now the one before that. Remember how much fun you had? Or did you?

Were you doing the same old thing you always do, each and every time you go out on Friday night? Does your partner still get excited at the thought of going out with you?

Or is it getting boring and sometimes not even worth the hassle? What a shame…

How about some really fun, memorable, and unique date ideas that’ll get you and your partner excited to go on a date again – together?

Or here’s another scenario…

You’ve met a really great man or woman and they’ve accepted your offer to go on the very first date with you. Wouldn’t it be nice to take them on a really fun and creative date that they’ll never forget rather then the same old dinner and a movie routine?

Be different and stand out.

Most people just go out to dinner at some fancy restaurant on their first few dates. But that’s just not very special or original. Your partner will appreciate that you actually came up with something creative and romantic.

If you want to stand out from the crowd, always strive to be yourself, to be different… Don’t go on the same dates everyone else goes on, and don’t copy what everyone else does. Do something exciting and memorable, and most importantly – have fun. Fun and happiness is extremely infections… people just can’t get enough.

Here’s our review of Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb’s excellent book 300 Creative Dates… In short, you’ll never run out of fun date ideas again.

Are restaurants becoming boring as date destinations? Check out all the types of dates you’re missing out on:

• Unique TV/Movie Dates
• Different Dinner Dates
• Vacation Dates
• Picnic Dates
• Game Dates
• Craft Dates
• Sports/Outdoors Dates
• Long Distance Dates

I’m sure you’ll be as excited as we were when we started flipping through the pages. Michael Webb has the best collection of date ideas and romance tips that we’ve ever seen in one place.

Here’s a sneak peek at the great date ideas you’ll find when you get 300 Creative Dates.

• Instead of a lunch or dinner date, try a breakfast date.
• Go for a night swim with candles floating in the pool.
• Try making a gourmet meal together.
• Rent a convertible for the day while the weather is still warm and take a ride to the beach, mountains or countryside.
• Warm up the house in winter by baking several batches of cookies with your sweetheart to share with friends, family and coworkers.
• Go through a gourmet grocery store sampling the items and buying something you have never tried before.
• Spend an afternoon or evening in an art gallery and pretending you are professional art reviewers. Give each other a critique of several of the pieces.
• Take your sweetheart on a tour of your old high school or college – pointing out all the special places.
• Purchase coloring books and spend the evening coloring and talking about your childhoods.
• Stay up all night and visit places that are open very late like Waffle House, Wal-Mart and dance clubs.
• Make s’mores in your fireplace.
• Attend a high tea.
• Make an old fashioned root beer float and drink it with two straws.
• Wash, blow dry and brush your lover’s hair.
• Celebrate your sweetheart’s “half” birthday (six months after his or her real birthday).
• Go to a nearby park with hiking trails.
• Pretend you are without power and light up your place with candles and just talk for a change.

While we did find some of the dates to be a little cheesy, there are definitely a lot of great date ideas that are worth trying at least once and many that are worth trying more than once.

Download your copy right now before you get busy and forget. Surprise your partner with the best date they’ve had in a long time.

Michael Webb also includes some really great dating tips to help you make your creative dates a success instead of a flop. And he also tells you how to avoid some potentially devastating dating disasters.

There’s also a section with some great ideas for asking someone out. You know, breaking past those first awkward moment and making your fateful move!

You’ll definitely also want to check out Michael’s other terrific resources below.

One of our personal favorites is Lick by Lick.

• Spice up your sex life with 500 Sex and Love Making Secrets (Read Our Review…)
• Enjoy Lick by Lick – How to Go Down on a Woman and Have Her Begging for More (Read Our Review…)
• Find out what you really need to know about your partner with 1000 Questions for Couples (Read Our Review…)

Don’t put it off. You’ll kick yourself if you don’t check out 300 Creative Dates today.

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Why not try something new this year and surprise your significant other with something a little more romantic than green beer.

We say that when you’re in love, the best way to stay in love and keep the spark in your relationship is to make every day a romantic holiday. So here are some great romantic ideas for this St. Patrick’s Day.

Get ‘Lucky’ in Love on St. Patrick’s Day

By: Amy Cunningham

St. Patty’s Day is no longer just for the Irish! Take the time to add a spark of romance and let that special someone know how truly ‘lucky’ you feel to have them in your life.

1. This is a common suggestion, but not many couples actually take advantage of it! Pack a picnic lunch, complete with a bottle of wine. Head out to your local park, snag a shady spot under a tree and prepare yourself for an afternoon of romance. After eating, have a little St. Patty’s Day fun by searching for four-leaf clovers in the grass. While it may sound cheesy at first, you’ll really feel the romantic sparks.
2. A perfect gift for the perfect lass! Celebrate St. Patrick’s Day deliciously with a gift box full of St. Patrick’s Day themed berries. These berries are lusciously dipped in dark chocolate, milk chocolate, white chocolate, almonds, chocolate chips, and green tinted coconut. It’s fun and romantic!
3. Rent a "lucky" movie and have a romantic night at home! Lucky Seven, starring Kimberly Williams-Paisley (from The Tenth Kingdom and Father of the Bride), is a great romantic comedy for St. Patrick’s Day. Amy’s (Williams-Paisley) mother dies when she is just 7 years old and leaves her with a timeline for her life, including the fact that she will have 6 boyfriends before she meets the 7th, who is "the one". Everything in Amy’s life is perfect and she has followed the time line exactly until she meets the perfect guy. The problem is that he is guy number six. In order to keep her perfect time line in tact, Amy seeks out a temporary sixth boyfriend, the bagel guy. She is soon caught between the two men in a hilarious attempt to figure out her life and love.
4. It’s said that the four-leaf clover symbolizes wealth, fame, a faithful lover and good health. Pressed between two layers of glass, this genuine four-leaf clover is surrounded by a polished-aluminum frame and sturdy stand. There is no gift that is more perfect for your lucky love on St. Patrick’s Day than this framed genuine four-leaf clover.
5. Have your sweetie search for his/her own lucky pot o’ gold! You can fill a small pot with golden chocolate coins (found at most candy stores) and a love letter inside. You can either leave the pot o’gold out in the open for your sweetie to find or leave clues filled with romantic notions leading them to the end of their rainbow…
   

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   5. Is Shyness Keeping You From the Girl of Your Dreams?
   ]]> http://www.askdanandjennifer.com/love-relationships/love-and-romance/here-are-some-great-ways-to-help-you-get-lucky-in-love-on-st-patricks-day/feed/ 2 http://www.askdanandjennifer.com/love-relationships/relationship-advice/is-he-really-over-his-ex-girlfriend-how-do-i-know-for-sure/ http://www.askdanandjennifer.com/love-relationships/relationship-advice/is-he-really-over-his-ex-girlfriend-how-do-i-know-for-sure/#comments Fri, 09 Feb 2007 15:01:39 +0000 Dan and Jennifer http://www.askdanandjennifer.com/relationship-advice/is-he-really-over-his-ex-girlfriend-how-do-i-know-for-sure/
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My partner and I have been together for 2 years now and we have been living together for about 4 months. Now that we are living together I feel that our relationship has changed. We hardly ever have sex, probably once a month is about all we manage to achieve.

I love sex and I’m sure that my partner does too, but for some reason we just can’t seem to make an effort to do the wild thing – one of us or both are always tired and sometimes it feels like we’re losing sexual compatibility; now it seems like I’ve had more passion in the past with other men or in the beginning of our relationship.

We do love each other and we’ve been through a lot together but I feel that our relationship is changing and I don’t know what to do about it.

We are becoming more like best friends everyday and I’m scared that the passion is fading. His idea of seduction and mine are totally different – he thinks ‘Let’s have sex?’ is an acceptable phrase into seducing a woman into hot sex, where as I would rather be pinned up against a wall without a word being said and so on…

When we weren’t living together our relationship was great; we did struggle a bit in the sex department but 3 times a week compared to once a month was a vast improvement.

Any advice you have considering this situation would be greatly appreciated. I don’t think I want to lose my relationship but I don’t know if I have the will power to save it – I don’t know what to do.

The Answer:

You might be surprised to learn that almost all long term relationships go through this ‘phase’ where everyone seems to get a little lazy. From my experience, it seems to happen somewhere between 18 months and 3 years into the relationship.

Here are some ideas that will help you make the best decision for you…

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There is this girl at my church that I think might like me. Every time I get a chance to say something to her I don’t because I’m really shy. What can I say or do to break the ice?

The Answer:

The challenge here is that you really like her and really want her to like you. And that’s the problem. That wanting translates into fear – fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of being alone.

STOP! Let’s go through this together so you will be able to approach her with ease the next time you see her.

She’s a regular person, just like you

Don’t put her on a pedestal just because you like her. This is one of the biggest mistakes men make with women, which is why they strike out so often.

Remember, she’s a regular person, just like you. So, treat her that way. Be nice, friendly, and most of all, confident in yourself. You wouldn’t be shy talking to one of your guy friends or a girl that you have no interest in, right?

So treat her like that – just one of your friends.

Men and women aren’t nearly as different as we all like to believe. At the end of the day we’re all people with needs, feelings, hopes, dreams, etc. We all need friends, companionship, and so on.

How can you tell if she likes you?

When you talk with her, notice how you feel. Do you feel like you WANT her to like you, or do you feel that she DOES like you? Is there a strong surge of energy, a magical spark between the two of you? Down deep, you’ll know if she really likes you.

You can feel it. Trust your gut.

Warning. Many guys make a big deal about asking a girl if she likes them. Don’t ever do that. You’ll put her on the spot and she’ll have to choose without getting to know you first. It’s like deciding if you want to buy a car without ever sitting in it.

The key here is confidence and belief in you. Listen for what’s in your heart, not for what you want to be there. If you’re too nervous to even talk without stuttering, then you won’t be able to read your gut feelings.  So it’s very important to get a grip on yourself and just relax.

What if she turns you down?…

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While we feel that you should treat every day in your relationship like Valentine’s Day, we do want to help you make this special day incredibly romantic and memorable for both you and your sweetheart.

As we get closer to Valentine’s Day, we’ll continue to update our blog with any cool resources or ideas that we find.

Here’s a great article from Michael Webb at TheRomantic.com with some really creative ways to say "I Love You" this year.

"14 Creative Valentine’s Ideas"

By Michael Webb, Founder www.TheRomantic.com

Here are 14 Creative (yet inexpensive) ways to say "I Love You" this February. Do your friends a favor and forward this message to them.

1. Sleep under the stars
   Buy some glow in the dark stars from the toy department and arrange a special message above your bed.
2. Their very own coloring book
   Draw a dozen or so silly pictures of memorable experiences. (browse through photo albums for ideas). Outline in black marker and then have the pages copied and bound on heavy paper at a copy shop. Give with a pack of crayons.
3. Computer romance
   Change the screen saver on the computer to a scrolling message. For added effect, use a wingding or character font that can’t be read without decoding.
4. Got milk?
   Hide a bunch of silly prizes and a card in your love’s favorite cereal.
5. Jump start the romance
   Tie your card or gift on a three foot string and tie it to the bottom of an automatic garage door. When your honey comes home, the gift will magically arise to greet them.
6. Rubber ducky races
   Go to a nearby river or stream and race rubber ducks. The loser takes the winner out for dessert.
7. Warm the heart
   While your love is in the shower put their towel in the dryer for a few minutes so it will be toasty warm when he or she steps out.
8. Music to their ears
   In your own voice, record a book, fairy tale or poetry on tape for your dearest to listen to on the way to work or while he or she is out of town.
9. A winter picnic
   Move the living room furniture and have a picnic in the middle of the floor complete with blanket, picnic basket, and all the fixings (in front of a roaring fireplace would add to the effect).
10. Send a mail bomb
    Sending a card can be exploding romantic just by adding something unexpected: a feather, leaf, matches, lock of your hair, pressed flower or your handkerchief scented with perfume/cologne.
11. The personal touch
    Gently scratch his back for ten minutes while he falls asleep or brush her hair for the same amount of time.
12. Mirror, mirror on the wall
    Use Rain-X Anti Fog (used to keep car windows from fogging up) and a cotton swab to write a message that will mysteriously appear on the bathroom mirror while your sweetheart is showering. Or put that old tube of lipstick to good use with a good morning greeting on the mirror.
13. The Jelly Belly game
    Blindfold him and feed him Jelly Bellies. If he guesses the flavor correctly, he gets a prize. If he guesses wrong, you get a prize. To make it more interesting, combine flavors (root beer + ice cream = root beer float, coconut + pineapple = pina colada, chocolate + cherry = chocolate covered cherries, etc.).
14. Welcome home!
    Use chalk to write a welcome home greeting on the sidewalk.

Make sure to check out Michael’s other terrific Valentine’s Day resources below: 

• Draw closer together with 1000 Questions for Couples
• Spice up your love life with 500 Lovemaking Tips & Secrets
• Discover 300 Creative Dates
• Don’t miss 100 Bedroom Games for Couples
• Learn the 50 Secrets of Blissful Relationships
• There is A Better Way To Date 
• Read about The Romantic’s Guide to Popping the Question

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1. Top 10 Resources for Valentine’s Day Ideas, Tips, and Advice
2. You’ll Definitely Want to Try These Fun and Creative Date Ideas
3. Second Date Ideas… Keeping it Fun and Exciting after the First Date
4. 5 Easy Ways to Make This Valentine’s Day Sizzle
5. Revealing New Online Dating Book…