Ask Dan and Jennifer » second date ideas

Mirroring – Discover This Little Known 1st Date Secret (Video)

Victorya Rogers — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 13:12:59 +0000

Going on a first date can be intimidating, no matter how long you’ve been on the dating scene. Fortunately, there are a few ways you can ensure first date success.

One of the most successful ways to hit it off with someone on a first date is using a technique called “mirroring.”

Mirroring is a technique that you can use to help your date feel comfortable with you almost instantly so you can focus on getting to know them.

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What is mirroring?

Mirroring is actually something that good friends and couples do naturally. For example, if you’re at dinner with a friend and they lean further towards the table, you might unconsciously do the same.

If you’re sitting in a theater watching a movie and you cross your legs, your boyfriend or husband might cross his legs too. When you’re comfortable with someone, you will naturally mirror their body language and movements and they’ll naturally mirror yours.

How can you use mirroring to your advantage on a first date?

Naturally, you’re not going to instantly and unconsciously mirror someone on a first date and it’s unlikely that they’ll mirror you. This could be a reason why first dates are often so awkward! However, you can use your understanding of the mirroring technique to make the first date jitters a little easier to handle and help make your date feel more comfortable with you.

When you’re on a first date, pay special attention to your date’s body language. You want to try to mirror them in a way that looks unconscious by you, like natural mirroring, without looking strange or suspicious.

This might take a few tries to really get down pat, so it’s helpful if you try to practice your mirroring technique with friends first. They can give you input on how your mirroring looks to someone besides yourself.

Using mirroring from now on

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5 First Date Mistakes Men Make That End In Heartbreak – And How You Can Avoid Them

Michael Webb — Tue, 26 Feb 2008 14:52:48 +0000

Let’s face it you never get a second chance to make a first impression!

That’s why, if you want to take things further with a woman, you need to show her your best on the very first date.

And in actual fact, there are 5 things that men consistently do on first dates that totally destroy their chances of seeing the woman again, and the worst part is they think they’re doing it right!

Avoid the following 5 mistakes to increase your chances of fun and creative date ideas:

Mistake #1: Buying gifts

Bringing chocolate or flowers on a first date isn’t the best idea – especially if you’ve just met the woman! She’s there to get to know YOU. Women are always asking themselves "what does THAT mean?" And in this case it’s, "He bought me flowers because he likes me, but he doesn’t even know anything about me yet! A little suspicious.

Mistake #2: Being Mr. Serious

When in the presence of a potential date, men often become boring, instead of keeping up the friendly vibe they have with their friends. They won’t make jokes or laugh with the woman, they won’t play around like they do with their friends and they generally take things a little too seriously.

Why do men change their behavior around women, often without even realizing they’re doing it? Because they fear losing their only chance with the girl of their dreams, they try and play the safe side, which results in a “Mr. Serious.”

Mistake #3: Conducting an Interview

When men become "Mr. Serious" they often fall into "job interview conversation mode." Make sure you reserve questions like, "So where do you work?" or "How many brothers and sisters do you have?" for the future, after you’ve already had a lot of fun and made the sparks fly. Instead, talk about your hobbies, interesting stories and fun stuff.

Avoid anything too deep for a long period of time. On a first date, it can make things a little depressing. Talk like you’ve known each other for years (as if you don’t need to do the awkward 20-questions quiz.) Of course you can ask basic questions, but never make it the main focus of your date. Focus on fun.

Mistake #4: Being too needy and direct

Without realizing it, many guys turn their dates off by trying a little too hard. For example: Men will lean into a woman’s personal space, and ask, "so do you like me?" or constantly change his opinion to seek her approval and make her like him. Big mistake.

Ironically, it’s leaning back, staying cool and calm, being a little cheeky, interesting, mysterious and comfortable with yourself that actually gets a woman’s attention and keeps her interested.

Mistake #5: Going to boring places

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You’ll Definitely Want to Try These Fun and Creative Date Ideas

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 05 Apr 2007 00:00:53 +0000

Think back to your last date…

Now the one before that. Remember how much fun you had? Or did you?

Were you doing the same old thing you always do, each and every time you go out on Friday night? Does your partner still get excited at the thought of going out with you?

Or is it getting boring and sometimes not even worth the hassle? What a shame…

How about some really fun, memorable, and unique date ideas that’ll get you and your partner excited to go on a date again – together?

Or here’s another scenario…

You’ve met a really great man or woman and they’ve accepted your offer to go on the very first date with you. Wouldn’t it be nice to take them on a really fun and creative date that they’ll never forget rather then the same old dinner and a movie routine?

Be different and stand out.

Most people just go out to dinner at some fancy restaurant on their first few dates. But that’s just not very special or original. Your partner will appreciate that you actually came up with something creative and romantic.

If you want to stand out from the crowd, always strive to be yourself, to be different… Don’t go on the same dates everyone else goes on, and don’t copy what everyone else does. Do something exciting and memorable, and most importantly – have fun. Fun and happiness is extremely infections… people just can’t get enough.

Here’s our review of Oprah Love Expert Michael Webb’s excellent book 300 Creative Dates… In short, you’ll never run out of fun date ideas again.

Are restaurants becoming boring as date destinations? Check out all the types of dates you’re missing out on:

Unique TV/Movie Dates
Different Dinner Dates
Vacation Dates
Picnic Dates
Game Dates
Craft Dates
Sports/Outdoors Dates
Long Distance Dates

I’m sure you’ll be as excited as we were when we started flipping through the pages. Michael Webb has the best collection of date ideas and romance tips that we’ve ever seen in one place.

Here’s a sneak peek at the great date ideas you’ll find when you get 300 Creative Dates.

Instead of a lunch or dinner date, try a breakfast date.
Go for a night swim with candles floating in the pool.
Try making a gourmet meal together.
Rent a convertible for the day while the weather is still warm and take a ride to the beach, mountains or countryside.
Warm up the house in winter by baking several batches of cookies with your sweetheart to share with friends, family and coworkers.
Go through a gourmet grocery store sampling the items and buying something you have never tried before.
Spend an afternoon or evening in an art gallery and pretending you are professional art reviewers. Give each other a critique of several of the pieces.
Take your sweetheart on a tour of your old high school or college – pointing out all the special places.
Purchase coloring books and spend the evening coloring and talking about your childhoods.
Stay up all night and visit places that are open very late like Waffle House, Wal-Mart and dance clubs.
Make s’mores in your fireplace.
Attend a high tea.
Make an old fashioned root beer float and drink it with two straws.
Wash, blow dry and brush your lover’s hair.
Celebrate your sweetheart’s “half” birthday (six months after his or her real birthday).
Go to a nearby park with hiking trails.
Pretend you are without power and light up your place with candles and just talk for a change.

While we did find some of the dates to be a little cheesy, there are definitely a lot of great date ideas that are worth trying at least once and many that are worth trying more than once.

Download your copy right now before you get busy and forget. Surprise your partner with the best date they’ve had in a long time.

Michael Webb also includes some really great dating tips to help you make your creative dates a success instead of a flop. And he also tells you how to avoid some potentially devastating dating disasters.

There’s also a section with some great ideas for asking someone out. You know, breaking past those first awkward moment and making your fateful move!

You’ll definitely also want to check out Michael’s other terrific resources below.

One of our personal favorites is Lick by Lick.

Spice up your sex life with 500 Sex and Love Making Secrets (Read Our Review…)
Enjoy Lick by Lick – How to Go Down on a Woman and Have Her Begging for More (Read Our Review…)
Find out what you really need to know about your partner with 1000 Questions for Couples (Read Our Review…)

Don’t put it off. You’ll kick yourself if you don’t check out 300 Creative Dates today.

Cheap But Great Date Ideas from ZenHabits.net

Dan and Jennifer — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 13:00:46 +0000

Looking for some more great first date ideas or even second date ideas but you’re a little strapped for cash?

Here are some great suggestions from our friend Leo at Zen Habits.

Picnic. One of my favorites. I like to pack a basket with home-made sandwiches (really hearty, good ones with good bread), fruits, cheese, desserts, candies, wine, snacks and all the utensils and napkins. Find a great spot for the picnic — sunset is probably the most romantic time.
Treasure hunt. Another favorite. I set this up beforehand, writing clues on pieces of paper and leaving them all around town. Each clue led to the next, and at the end was a gift. You’ll have a blast driving around. It’s best if the places and clues are meaningful to the two of you.
Home-cooked meal with candles. A specialty of mine. Even if you can only cook one thing well, you’ve got it made. Pasta or steaks are easy and sure bets (although I don’t eat steak anymore). A good dessert tops it off well. The candles are a nice touch. Pick some flowers too. Most women love a man who can cook, especially for them.
Massage. This is most likely only appropriate if you’ve been going out for a few dates, but if you’re close enough for a good massage, this will win her over. Get some scented massage oil. Do the entire body, starting with the head, down to the neck, the back, legs and feet. Skip the tempting areas (or at least save them for last) or the massage might not last long.
The beach. I live on an island, so this one’s easy. If you don’t have a beach, any other nice natural setting, like lake or river or mountain, will also work. You can pack a picnic, or just get some bathing suits and some beer and have a great time.
Festivals. Look in your local paper … you might find all kinds of festivals, from movies to dance to desserts and more. They cost very little, and they are a blast. Walk around, make jokes, sample everything.
Old movie marathon. Nothing’s more romantic than great old movies. Rent a bunch of them on DVD, pop some popcorn, get some candy, and watch them in your living room wrapped in blankets. A few sure-fire recommendations: Casablanca, Roman Holiday, Some Like It Hot, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, hell anything with Audrey Hepburn.
Window shopping. Walk around and look at stuff at some of your favorite stores — antique stores, used bookstores, unique clothing. Try stuff on. Make fun of stuff. Make it fun.
Watch meteors. Get a blanket and look up at the stars. It’s best if there’s a meteor shower — shooting stars are magical. Otherwise, learn a few constellations and point them out to her. Ponder the mysteries of the universe.
Play in the snow or water. If you’ve got snow, you’ve got magic. Otherwise, a pool or ocean or lake are also great ways to play. Playful is good. So is a little innocent physical contact. Roll around!
Museum. I love museums. They’re fascinating. If the girl thinks they’re fascinating too, you’ve got a winner. Zoos are fun too. Also carnivals. Buy cotton candy.
Family barbecues. If you’ve been on a couple dates, you might be comfortable bringing her to a family gathering. A casual one like a barbecue is probably better to start with than Thanksgiving dinner or something. Although, going to a wedding is also fun. Barbecues are great because there’s good food and it’s free! Also, if your family is a lot of fun, you’ve got free entertainment!
Shakespeare. I like watching plays, especially by the Bard. If the girl likes that too … well, she’s worth her weight in gold, as far as I’m concerned. And Shakespeare is very romantic. Quote her some lines afterward.
Sundaes. Delicious and fun. Share toppings.
Poetry reading. These can be a lot of fun, especially if you have a poem you can go up and read. Write one especially for her and tell everyone it’s dedicated to her. Then have some beers and watch the others. Poetry can be very romantic (unless it’s the angry kind, in which case it’s a lot of fun).

If you haven’t been to Zen Habits yet, go over and check it out. Leo has some great ways to improve your life.

"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then, is not an act, but a habit." ~Aristotle

Zen Habits is all about achieving goals, productivity, being organized, GTD, motivation, eliminating debt, saving, getting a flat stomach, eating healthy, simplifying, living frugal, parenting, happiness, and successfully implementing good habits.